Rabbi Joey Haber speaking about the 9 Days and Tisha B'av at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim

Welcome everyone. We'd like to today the sponsor of tonight's shar. [Music] I also like to thank everyone here for coming because really the uh for all the programs the show does the greatest is that the people want to be in this Khazik. So I think the fact that everyone comes out on a Sunday night to get is uh shows who we are as a as a nation who we are as people we're looking to grow. And last, I'd like to thank Habber for making a long trip out over here to come and give us light on. >> We decide afterwards if it's going off or not. I'm not sure yet. Hold >> just close fire up. There should be a cloud. >> That good. Thank you very much for being here tonight. Um, it's an honor to be I I've never been to Shinus before in my life. This is called Shinus, correct? Yes. I sound like an out oftowner like I I hear. Is that like going to like Yeshiva and saying this BMG? It's the same kind of question. Such a good So, please. >> Can I make it louder, please? That go louder. >> Oh, that's loud. Okay. I'm a little confused here. This [Music] up. Put that here. >> Are we good? Yes. >> Good. Yes. Okay. Anyhow, so I just dab in May inside and okay, I thought that was somewhat normal. I dab in May. Then I was finished and then there's another minion that started. So I said, "Oh, I missed Borak." I said, "Maybe I'll get Bor." Then they started Ashray. Got a little confused. So I guess that's how it rolls. That's how we roll in China. could all happen at about the same five minutes. Is that somewhat accurate? Yes. Close to the story. It sounds like this is a place that everybody feels at home. Someone told me that they're building like across the street. It's a barn or something like that. And ra Oh, that way. Okay. And rather it be this way just with tents, olive bays, gimmeal. >> What? There's a ho. >> Okay. There's a H. So, thank you very much for coming out, men and women alike. And here we are. We're in the three in the nine days. Now, I'm Syrian. So, maybe you have the nine days for us. You're not taking a shower tonight, right? >> Don't tell. >> Don't ask don't tell. I got it. That became the new Ashkanaz. So, I'm going to take a hot shower m tonight and wear fresh clothing tomorrow. um where you're not and really all of us are in the beginning of the nine days and I think we all have a hard time with this period. You know, there are two periods over the course of the Jewish calendar that are difficult. L and the three weeks. And L and at least we all have a we all have a goal. We're hopeful that we're going to accomplish something with those three week those that those 40 days of Yam. >> Shouldn't have to hold the mic. >> I know. I just It's like a habit. And we all look back and we say hopefully we change, we become different, we grow. If I were to ask you last year, hopefully you have something that you could attest to the fact that you become different because of but when it comes to the three weeks, I don't think most people look at it that way. I think most people when they're in the three weeks are just thinking just get me to after tishab get me to shabas get me back in a pool get me back to listening to music get me back to eating meat most people if you would ask them what did you gain from the three weeks two years ago and three years ago they look at you funny gain from the three weeks I don't really think of it that way we just endure the three weeks we endure the nine days and and we hope that we survive and we hope we make it through because I don't know if any of us really internalize and recognize the life we're living for the most part it looks like we're having fun but we are very much in gullus in many senses of the word gullis a 100 years ago was physical gullus 100 years ago was ghettos and blood liels and pgrams and ultimately a holocaust. Golus today doesn't have any of that. Maybe we'll hear a story or two from Isra, but for the most part for us living in this tri-state area, gullus looks a lot of fun. We have houses, cars, swimming pools, vacations, and restaurants. We're not really in that much of a physical gullus. But what we are in is an emotional gullus. Most people most people's lives look pretty nice on the outside. I spoke this morning in the mountains and they introduced me and they basically gave rash pro my life. The guy was trying to be funny and basically made me sound like I have a wonderful life. Deal. Anyone here knows anything about deal? You heard a deal? Okay. It's funny. I've heard Ashkanazim say that, you know, they one spouse said to the other, "We're going to deal. Let's go see Rabbi Joey Haba's house. If you go to deal, I'm the last house you need to see." But ideal. And he mentioned the vacation I went on. I said, "It's great. You just describe my life. It looks phenomenal." like most of us, I could describe your life and it looks phenomenal. I said, "But you left out the fact that I lost my father 14 months ago and then nine months ago, my oldest son had a stroke." And most people in their own form have the same story. For one person, it's a daughter they can't marry off or it's been so difficult. For another person, it's health. For another person, it's mental health. For another person, it's shalias. That's a tremendous struggle for another person. It's trying to keep up to their finances and trying to make ends meet whilst looking like everything is great. So we are very much in gullus and we are very much the three weeks is a time that we internalize and recognize and so to speak capture and celebrate the fact that we're in gullis and I don't mean celebrate as been joy. I mean celebrate his capture. We're here and recognize that we're here. This is gullus. We're not eating meat cuz this is gullless. You're not taking a shower cuz this is gullless. You're not wearing clean clothing cuz this is gullless. It is actually gullus. And for most people, like I said, it may not be a physical exile that we're in, but it's an emotional one. If I were to describe what I think is the biggest part of gullis that we all feel, it's this. And this is what I'd like to talk about tonight. It's the fact that all of us have things that we're worried about. All of us have things that we're very confused and sort of clouded on. How do I get there? I have a daughter who's six, seven years older than I would have expected her to be. How am I going to get her married? If my income's been a struggle, how am I going to get to the income I want? If there's a mental health and someone's been to a few therapists or if there's a kid who we're a little nervous starting to wear different shirts and different shoes and see different things and we're afraid and so often the experience of gullis that we have is this uneasiness of how we going to get from here to there. Tonight I'd like to talk about that. How does someone in Galas get from here to there and I quote to you something if I can. By the way, for those in the back, there are some chairs here. If you don't want to disturb, I'll give you 20 seconds. You can come get a seat. Why do you have to stand? You can't leave right away if you take a seat. But >> what are we doing? >> A sign up here. propping that up. Don't worry, it won't be that long. You could come. Oh, there you go. People started leaving when I said take a seat. Okay, I want to quote to you something. Someone who is likely the ultimate guy. He's the ultimate guy because he's practically maybe in every para that we have in the last three or four weeks. He's the ultimate guy. His name is Bum and from him we're going to learn a lot about this gullus. Bah came to Bum and he said please cursed this nation. Bum went to the and he said I was asked to curse the people is a stronger word than Hashem then responded to Bum and he said I'll say it's you cannot be the same word. So basically Balak said the word, Hashem said the word, Bum said the word which is stronger. Why this switch of words? And my second question is Bam asked can I go and curs? And Hashem said no. And then a few days later Bum said ask can I go? I understand. Hashem said no. He didn't say get back to me. He didn't say let me think about it. He said no. So why would Bum go and ask again if he was clearly told no. So let me try to describe two different ways that people live their life. The first way that people live their life is they work hard, they try hard, and at some point they get to a point in their head where they say, "You know what? I just have to like force Hashem's hand for it to go my way. You know what? I really been working on this project for a long time and now I have to cheat a little. I have to make it happen. I have to step on someone to get to where I need to go. What am I going to do? I didn't want to, but Lisa now I have to. I'm in a situation and the only way to really get my point across is speak some strong clear lash. But I have to make it happen. Because sometimes you get in this mode where you feel like you have to force Hashem's hand. You don't dive in and say, "Hashem, please give me what you think is best." Instead, you dive and you say, "Hashem, please, I need this." You don't even care if it's best. And then there's a second way to live. The second way to live is when you sit back and you say, "The aisha runs the world. Hashem, take me wherever you want to take me." If this person is supposed to get better, let him get better. If I'm supposed to get married this year, let me get married this year. And if not, I trust you. Two very different ways to live. One is you try your best to force the issue. The other one is you stand back and you trust how the road that a taken you on. I'll give you an example of what I mean to trust. There's a Syrian man. And I met with him a few weeks ago and he told me this story. He works in like cleaning detergents and he sells them wholesale. He says number of years ago he got a you know what a container is like a big huge container on a ship. He got 80 containers of Lysol. 80 containers of Lysol. He says it was so much Lysol I had no idea in the world what I'm going to do and then for some reason I got another 30 containers and then another 30 containers. He said I had to rent warehouses. I was so lost. I started selling the Lysol at half price, a quarter price. I had so much product to move. It was ridiculous. And then CO came. He says, "And next thing you know, I'm selling it for double the price and triple the price." He says, "Rabbi, next year you're going to come to my house for an event that we're going to make in my house, my new house. That's a mansion built on Lyso. Sit back and allow the Aisha to run the world." The mission says in it makes a contrast contrast between Bum and Arainu. And any person who's learned this mission, everyone here heard of this Mishna, it almost hurts your head. What's the comparison and sounds like a comparison? Maybe and Ephine, I don't know. Like Abrau and Bum, they were hundreds of years apart. Why is the Mishna comparing these two people? But if you look further, there's more comparisons because Abrau woke up early early to saddle his donkey and so did Bum. Abrainu was going to do something that asked him to do and then it switched on him. Okay, this is Bam. The same he went to go something and then it do something and then it switched. Bam bumped into a Malik and Ara bumped into a Malik. by bum it says who's blessed is blessed who's cursed is cursed and the same thing by Abrau why are these the two people that are contrasted the terret is that from our nation Abrau is the first person to speak to the from the gentiles bum is the first person to speak to the abrau lived his life and he said hashem you tell me where to go famine is a famine You want to take my wife twice, take my wife twice by a foreign king. You want me to be in a world war, I'll be in a world war. You want me to go slaughter my son. Wherever you tell me to go, that's where I go. And Bum was the opposite. Bam was, I'm going to wake up early to saddle my donkey to hope that I could get out and curse the people before Hashem notices. I'm going to force Hashem's hand. And sadly there are many of us especially once you work very hard on something and we work very hard and we we have a muna but we work very very very hard and then it gets to a point where maybe we have to stop or maybe it we have to hurt one person or like there's no way I'm stopping now and we just keep going. If I can I'd like to share with you a weird embarrassing example. Can I share an embarrassing example? You comfortable with that? Yes. If I'm comfortable you'll be comfortable. Again, I'm going to make myself look funny. I'm good at that. Like, so I've been speaking in the Syrian community for about 25 years. Rob for 25 years, very involved for 25 years. If you tell the Syrian Joey Hab say, "Yeah, Jo." But for the most part, almost zero Ashkanism knew me for 20 years. Every now and then maybe they'd call me to great neck to speak to a group of Bkarians, but Ashkanazim zero. So again, this is embarrassing to admit, but at some point I said, you know what, I feel like the Shir could help Ashkanazm also. I feel like they would benefit. And I'm not sure if this was a Lashma reason or shalishma. I'm not sure which one it was, but I feel like they could benefit. But no one none of them are hearing my sh like ever. And speaking for years and years, and Syrians would say I was decent and years and years and like I felt like people could appreciate it. But zero Ashkenazin were listening. So I came up with this very peculiar idea. So I'm going to try to make a video clip. You know the clips like they'll make a three-minute clip. I'm going to try to make a video clip and I I did some research how much it cost. Someone told me it cost about $3,000 with the music and alling and I'm going to make a video clip and I'm going to try to find a way to send that out and maybe that'll get people to listen. But then I was like, how am I going to get the video clip out? Where am I going to get it out? I couldn't figure it out. So I came up with this very brilliant strange idea. My idea was I was going to I called Miss I tried to call Miss I was trying to get Yankee Maron's phone number and said maybe we'll do this maybe I'll have a QR code at Mask once they bring the chairs they'll bring a little card they'll have a QR code that people could go on the QR code and they'll be able to watch a 3minute video everyone goes to everyone's been at some point in a normal month so most people will get there you have the idea It's strange. No, it's a little strange. Actually, a lot strange. So, also I realized like I don't know if you know the difference a big difference between a sari shiva house and a sh house. In a sh house it's literally like people are talking and smoozing and laughing literally laughing and ask someone died like they and they know not but I ask am I crazy? anything. I couldn't even get Yankee Mai on the phone and then I'm going to go what am I going to do? I'm going to put this on this QR code sha house. It's the strangest weirdest idea. I'm going to put $3,000. I'm going to take it out of my own pocket. Am I going to have someone sponsor it? I don't know what I was going to do. And then after a month, I said, "That's the dumbest idea I ever heard. It's even embarrassing to say out loud. Skip that idea." And I skipped idea and I said, "You know what, David decide?" And all of a sudden, a few months ago, I turned around. I said, "Well, you know what? I remember that day five years ago when I wanted to get out one clip. Now the abisha could get out six or seven clips from me without even me even asking. They don't even ask permission by the way. That's if you wonder. Daily dose meaningful minute stories to inspire. I tora by your mind. No one asks permission. They just take clips and send it. I said five years ago I was trying to do my best to take one clip and figure out how to get one clip out. Now David says I can send out a half a dozen a week and you don't even have to do it. You don't have to know it's happening. I find out did I was in the daily dose from someone who sends me a message by the way you're in the daily dose today. I say how was the dose? He says it was okay by your mind the same you by your mind today stories to spy. I don't even know. every now and then. And I remember I said, "Wait one second. When I tried to do it myself, it was dumb, weird, and strange. And even the best that I could imagine wasn't that great. And when the decide to do it, he could get you wherever he wants to go." This is our goal. Our gullus is that we don't know how the future, how we're going to get to where we need to go. And because of that, we think we have to force it and we think we have to make it happen. And we don't have to force anything. We're the children of Arau. We stop. We say, you tell me where to go. I'll put in my work and then you tell me where to go. I'll give you another story. So, I have a niece, my sister's daughter. She was the first person in the family of the grandchildren, the first one to get married. She graduated. My daughter's a little older than her. She graduated and within a few weeks she was engaged. Graduate high school. Within a few weeks, she was engaged. And then she got married. She got married first and I remember there was a lot of excitement and then she was expecting and my daughter wasn't expecting and my daughter was married for a little while and I remember like I don't know how Ashkanaz do people tell other people when they're expecting or not expecting. Yes. No, >> you do. If I swear I'm like if if whatever they expect everyone says mazle and maz you don't say mazle do you that's as far as you go. So anyhow they didn't really want to tell me because they knew my daughter wasn't expected they didn't want they didn't have a child yet. They didn't want to tell me and then we found out and then soon after we found out that you don't understand. Yes, she's about to have give birth, but she's also about to separate from her husband. And the baby was born and had a bris. So, when parents that was separated and a few weeks after the the bris, the parents got divorced. And here was my niece, wonderful girl, Balis, Midas, Anua, everything. And she's home now with a child, divorced. And for years, I remember we kept saying, "What are we going to do? How are we going to get her married? It's hard not to get married all together. If someone is single and young, it's hard to get married when older. It's harder when someone is divorced and harder divorced with a kid. How are we even possibly going to get there?" And we used to talk about it for years. We cared, all of us, the whole family, we cared very, very, very much. Then a few years ago there's an organization habitat. No one knows what habay is. Habay is an organization that a few people in the Syrian community created for anyone who's sick in constit. They have no place to stay. They give them a apartment that they could stay in. So they have to go to Mount Si or Cornell. They stay in this apartment and they're able to they get cured whatever as long as it takes for them to get cured. that currently habitat has 20 apartments. My schwugger's brother ran the organization and started the organization. And so he started the organization. At one point there's a young man completely entirely young man who came to America. He came alone. He had some kind of asthma type disease that was literally almost going to kill him. He had to come to an American hospital. He came and he stayed in an apartment in Habitat. He went to the doctor a few times. The doctor said, "Yeah, there's a major problem, but it's a simple solution. We're going to do the solution for you here. You're just going to have to wait in America a few months." So, he said, "Okay." He stayed in the apartment in America for a few months and he got healed. Now, after a number of months, Pesak time came, he called up his wife who was in said, "I'm coming back home." His wife said, "No, no, it's better. just stay in America. It's okay. That's not a great sign. If a husband is away for 6 months and he calls his wife and says, I want to come home and she's no stay away. That's not a great sign. And it wasn't. Turns out that her family had convinced her to end the marriage. So now this guy is stuck in. And one of the in the Syrian community who knew knew this saw this ban and said to him, you know, there's this yeshiva here. Why don't you go learn in you have no place to learn? He's Israeli be no place to learn. Go learn not to edit. He went to go learn the mice. He got a get. Then there was a lawsuit for a year. He got the get long. They gave the get long distance. Then the lawsuit was long distance. It was a mess for a couple of years. But he got divorced and the lawsuit was done. I told you before my father was nifa. He's buried in Harization. And when we were sitting Shiva Ruv Finstein my rashiva called us up and he said I want to tell you something. He said during the year of Shiva everyone knows that the maza is bad. He said that's only for small things. He said for him it was like getting tickets but for big things your father's in shim. He's a meer and there's more braha in the year than anything else. And I remember sitting there on the floor getting this phone call and saying, "Okay, I could see how the family could use more braha, but there's no way that my niece is going to be able to get married. The situation is too difficult." So maybe my other niece that's a little older, maybe my nephew, maybe people have some, but this not possible. Anyhow, two months ago, three months ago, we went to my father's yard. And as we were there, my siblings said to me, I'm the oldest, but sometimes they don't want me to know. My siblings said to me, you know, our sister is meeting someone tonight. I said, what do you mean? Our sister is meeting the parents of a boy who's dating her daughter. I said, what are you talking about? I said, yeah, here's the story. This boy stayed in Habai. He went to he was learning a cuddle. He had someone a few weeks ago, someone matches us up. This boy was divorced from match him up with our niece who has a kid and they're dating. They already had six dates and now that we're in our father's yard site, our sister is meeting the boy's parents because very soon they're about to get engaged. I like what? And my father's name, my father, his name was Rabbi Michael Habber. The boy's name is Mikall. and they pretty much got engaged on the yard site. And what's unique is this niece of mine grew up in Israel. So the boy speaks Hebrew for the most part, broken English, and she also speaks Hebrew easily. And you're like, "Hashem, how'd you get us here?" For years, we're trying to force the issue, figure out, maybe find a boy from somewhere else. Maybe find a boy. Okay, it's okay if he only has one leg. At least he has one. We'll find someone. Maybe the boys are a little strange in the head on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but he's normal on Sundays. It's good enough. What are you going to do? She's divorced with a kid. And Aisha said, "Just wait." Literally driving here today, I was on the phone with my sister. She said, "You don't understand my new son-in-law is Mashiach. You can't imagine the measure. You can imagine the man is." And I remember standing at the sitting there at the looking at the and saying how did that set of parents I think become the of my sister. The answer is you could run the world and you could get as far as you can go or you could sit back and realize that we are the grandchildren of Abrau and let the run the world and watch what he does. Yes, it's difficult. Yes, there are times that we know what we want it to happen and we know what we want to be. But that's not the way the world runs for aid. I know it's cloudy. I know you don't know the future. I know you're not sure how it's going to work out. And I know you're nervous that if you follow the rules, maybe you're not going to get to where you need to get to. The difference between Abrao and Bum is this one difference. Abrau says, "Hashem, take me where I need to go. Bam says, "Hashem, I'm going to tell you where to go." And there are so many that three times a day and a go homes, but when they want something, they want something. Now I mentioned my rash. He came to deal a few shabbas ago and he mentioned this. He says we keep shabas because Hashem worked because Hashem created the world in six days. He says and what would have been if Hashem created the world in 20 days. Why is it because he's six days therefore we have to keep shabas. He said because the answer is that we yen believe two things. We believe Hashem created the world and we believe Hashem is creating the world. That means he created the world in the past and he's constantly recreating it. And when we keep Shabas, what we're saying to is I trust that you are creating and controlling the world now. So therefore, every week it's not just a commemoration of Hashem's rest. Every week I need to rest to display the fact that I'm going to put down my phone and shut my computer and leave the office and say, "Hashem, you run this world and I am totally in how you run it and how next week is going to go is up to you." He says and the gift that Hashem gives us back for trusting that he's controlling the world. The gift that we get back is Hashem says I am going to give you a gift that if you believe I am creating the world now then I'm going to watch you over in an individual way. The Ramban says that the says you have to be pure with Hashem your God. What that means is if a doctor says an astrologer of our terms a doctor if a doctor tells you this is what the statistics are this is what the probabilities are this is the prognosis is to say doctor that's nice for you but it has nothing to do with me whether you say it with your mouth or say it in your mind that has nothing to do with me in fact I'll tell you a story there's a guy who was very not well he had the mah What do you think his name was? One guess on a sparty name. Joey. So Joey was diagnosed and told in Sloan Ketering that he has a year to live. There used to be a doctor in Sloan Kery or from maybe you heard of him. Dr. Zeleleski. Anybody ever heard of Dr. Zeleleski? So Dr. Alleski saw that this Joey was very nervous and Joey himself told me the story. He saw that Joey was very nervous. So Dr. Zeleleski calls Joey into the office. He closes the door behind him. He says, "Joe, you're a Yid, right?" "Yes." They never have a yamak, but yeah, he's a yid. For Syrians, it works. Yes. You believe there's a god? Yes. So he says, "So statistics, you're worried about statistics. You think statistics have anything to do with us? Hashem may decide in a year, he may not decide in a year, but statistics, statistics are for the rest of the world. They're not for us." And Joey was a regular Syria guy, not the flest in the world, not not Yashimish by any term means. 14 years later, Joey is walking around healthy and good. healthy and good because that's how we live. In fact, the Malb says even further. The Malb says if a doctor tells you statistics and you believe him, then you're controlled by those statistics. David says, "Okay, you want to believe stats, you want to believe probability, you want to believe prognosis, then fine, you'll go by prognosis. But if instead you want to say, "No, no, I am a ye and I live. I am the descendant of Ravenu. Hashem controls my world and Hashem controls where I'm going and Hashem controls my life. Then statistics have nothing to do with you. What the will decide ultimately? I don't know. In fact, I'll give you another example. Could you answer my question since you're sitting right here? Yes. Good. What was the worst day for the Jewish people in your lifetime? Worst day for the Jewish people. You're not a Holocaust survivor, correct? >> October 7th. >> Okay. October 7th. Good. October 7th. >> You're a young man. I didn't mean that. Everyone's moctober 7th was the worst day for the Jewish people. October 7th. And it's true. When that day came, we all remember it like it was 10 seconds ago. And we'll remember it in 20 years from now, too. But do you realize that it is possible? And I don't want to minimize the 1,200 people that were killed and the hundreds that were killed in wars following it. But do you realize that it is possible that October 7th might end up being one of the better days in your lifetime? Do you realize that? Do you realize that Hamas, which was a nuisance for a long time, is possibly almost gone? You realize thatahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah that was much more dangerous and people were much more scared of last year I went to saw they said we're working on Hamas butah we don't know what's going to happen and pretty much a week and a beeper later and they're gone and Iran was supposed to be even scarier than them and a week and they're gone October 7th when you remember that time we were in this country anti-semitism was all over the place and we had a president that was falling asleep and we had no idea what was going to happen to the Jewish people. Now the made things happen. Now we have a president that's too awake and all of the sudden it's possible that will be safer than it ever was since we know it. You don't know how the world is going to run. That's what it means being in gullis. You have to accept where you are now and trust that the get you where you need to go. That's how it goes. That's how we live. And that's why what Bam is an example. Bam said Balok said to him, Bam said, "I'm going to make it worse cuz I want to do it my way." Hashem said back to Bam, "What are you doing? I know you're switching it on me. I know what Bulock said to you and you switched the word." And then bam asked, "Can I go curse?" And Hashem said, "No." And then Bam asked again. Hashem said, "Okay, so you want to do it your way? Do it your way. Let's see what happens when you do it your way." You know what happens when you do it your way? It ultimately ends up being a blessing for Clal and ultimately ends up being something that causes your demise and your death. You want to do it your way. That's why both Bum and Abrau have the same two words as you know Hashem told him but Hashem said to him if they came get up and go with them and the only difference is this first it says go and just go Trust me, just go and then you'll see how it'll be. You'll see ultimately how it'll be for you. Bum, on the other hand, first it says and then it says first you want to figure out how it's going to work out for you and then you'll go. Small difference, dramatic change lives with Hashem, tell me where to go. Hashem, tell me what I need to do and I trust you it'll get me there. Bam says first tell me how it's going to work out the way I want and then I'll go we say he says let me give you one last little story trying to figure out how to say the story right let me give you a little introduction yes I ami and I am Syrian and I did grow up in deal and now I live in Brooklyn I go to deal for the summer but batsim now and my background is very very yeshivish. I learned in Lakewood as a kid. Anyone know you know heard of Lakewood? Yeah. You heard of the Legion building in Lakewood? You know what the Legion building is? That Legion building used to be the schooling for all the boys in the whole town of Lakewood. Was in the Legion building. Right now it's a little office building. That building was where all the kids in Lakewood went to school. So I was in the classmate in the back. We went you remember the legion building am I right? So we were in the legion building the lake many of the rasha sons were in our class but future rasha sons were in our class that's what it was in lake and then I went to stand on yeshiva like I mentioned before in its heyday and then ultimately I went to learn bar of david and brisk and then I learned the bmg for 10 years the story is just a little less is sheish than that so I had to give you that whole intro so you don't judge me wrong okay Am I safe? Yes. So, here's what happened. So, about 30 years ago, mom is 30 years ago, my sister who's younger than me got engaged and she got engaged and we had to vart to my parents house. My future's brother took me for a walk. I was youngish and he took me for a walk. He says, "I think you should start dating." I said, "My he started to convince me. He wanted me to date his niece." I went for a walk around the block and around the block. Said, "But I'm young. I didn't go to I don't want to go to Brisk. Don't worry. Don't worry. It's easier this way. It's convinced to walk around the block maybe five, six times until he convinced me." And as I'm walking back into my parents' house, in my mind, I said, "You know what? Maybe I'll talk a date, but I don't think I'm going to date his niece." He convinced me, but not exactly. So, I walked into the house and it happens to be, again, I'm trying to describe this the right way, that one of my sister's friends was walking down the steps. And my sister says to me, the bar was like basically over. My sister says to me, "You're going to date her." I said, "What?" I said, "That's weird." Never spoke to a girl in my life outside of my sister. Says, "You're going to date her." Said, "The truth is I was just convinced, so I guess I will." And that person became my wife. David just said, "I'm gonna get you convinced by somebody else and then you're gonna walk into the house and I'm gonna send the person that's going to be your wife." And the cool end of the story is I think it's cool is that girla that niece of his got married to and they had a wonderful family and their oldest son married my daughter. Shafi is developed. It's just as simple as that. We could run it and Hashem will say, "Try try making your own video to try to promote yourself." You out of your mind? I've had speakers come over to me and say, "How do I get out?" I said, "I'll tell you the truth. I was talking for 20 years. I wasn't out." The Aisha decides, "I have no idea. I never tried to do anything because that's how Abisha runs the world. You don't know how Lysol could turn into a mansion. And you don't know how some random Israeli Bungan could turn into my niece's husband because we live as the descendants of Abrau. Bam was the first Ni for for the Gim and the first Ni of the Gim said, "Let me take my power and figure out how I'm going to dictate." And that's what the busk says. Bam. Whoever he curses is cursed. Whoever he blesses is blessed. Which means he's in control. But if you don't know what does the say whoever blesses you is blessed which means it's not in your control if you follow the then anyone who acknowledges that that path that way of life automatically that person is gvenched because doesn't control anything just follows and abisha controls everything. So yes, we're in gullus. Yes, there are things you're worried about tomorrow. Yes, there are things that you're hoping for in your future that you don't know how the result is going to be and it makes you nervous and it makes you feel hazy and it makes you feel confused and you say, "Hashem, I just want to know how is my 10th grade son going to turn out? How is my 25-year-old daughter's when's she going to get married? Hashem, when is my panas going to be okay? I'm struggling and I'm trying to put on a show." The answer is you are the children of Abrau. And the way the children of Abrau live is that we don't we don't saddle our donkey to tell Hashem what to do. We saddle our donkey to listen to what to do. We don't bump into a malik to force us to go against Hashem. We bump in to follow Hashem. We don't decide who's blessed. We let the decide based on us who's blessed. Is how we live. Doctors don't know. Agnosticators don't know. Future mayors of New York don't know. Only the Aisha knows. And that's how we live as Eden. Yes, it's gullless. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's confusing. Yes, there's a cloud. But we as Yidden, we do everything. It's in our power. We do the best. And then we say, Hashem, we understand. You tell us and we know ultimately it'll be. So, if you want to know the quickest way to get from here to there, it's through there. Thank you.