Zalmen opens up about fitness, childhood, and the path to healing

Thank you for clicking on this video and wanting to watch this episode. Just want to give a small awareness that there is a topic mentioned in this podcast that it could be possibly triggering to some. So I want to make that awareness that kind of situation and as always my goal is to bring positivity to the world to show how people took their lives and made it better. How they stood up to to wrongdoing or how they just made a beautiful positive life out of something whether it's their success or courage that they had. So, I hope you enjoyed this episode and thank you for being here. Yeah. By the way, the self-help one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. psychedelics I don't understand even right I'll kind of speak about all the people how they feel >> well divorce but >> like whatever happens for the part. Okay. But let's say somebody was married for like years. Y this is >> you're basically stopping and starting from fresh. >> Correct. >> That's scary, right? >> Yeah. But also the feelings, the emotions, you bought gifts. People, so many people are getting hurt. I think that's why divorce is difficult. >> But that's personal ego. is personal ego personal feelings feelings. >> Yeah. >> Like relationship there's okay challenges that most people don't have. People don't realize they relationship somewhat of anxiety somewhat of issues. You face yourself 24 hours. >> Imagine someone else to face you 24 hours. >> Two people facing married. If a person 24 hours, then you know that that's the right one. By the way, cuz there aren't many people that will say tolerate for 24 hours. low confidence is because >> excuse you know even my best friends they'll also need a break I had a client once okay yeah >> of course right >> why not mean your wife you have kids with that person you can't be 25 like >> right so they they said they say they say marry your best friend like worst case the worst case scenario for my relationship best friend at least at least days the worst case best case scenario is I'm saying it sarcastically but I'm saying the idea best friend think of uh think of that idea that's not it's not what it's about I think It's about being with a best friend. I mention >> again, but most people, right? Your best friend. >> At least you have to be open to the idea for that person to become your best friend. >> Exactly. So that's the hard part and I appreciate is that his challenge in his marriage is that forced marriage system which because at the end of the day young people you put them together there's something to it meaning yeah so is necessarily This is either or marriage and and you pick pick your poison but pick your your luck. I would say but how they challenge best friends. So and I appreciate journey. I think it's very beautiful. >> I think a lot of people don't give themselves an opportunity for the other person to become a best friend. >> They don't give because you are you best friend. >> Yeah. I have a client that's that's divorced and is ready to get married again. I'm not going to get married again until I'm comfortable being lonely. >> Wow. >> Once I'm so comfortable being by myself, I can get married. I can bring it into marriage. Most people are not that way. >> Because I'm lonely. These sounds Yeah. men just can and join alliance. I don't know. >> I love >> Yeah. >> I love myself. >> Nice. Always did. You always did. You always uh I don't care. I love myself. I'm going to take care. I am myself and I'm going to take care of me. >> Yeah. Yeah. This is relationships not to be dependent codependent dependent of in therapy session. >> Yeah. I think marriage is the most beautiful thing when two independent people come together and become codependent of one another but they're so independent >> and actually the best in marriage you have a choice you know probably >> wow wow >> right >> if you don't know that you can be divorced submitting into marriage. >> No, >> I'm okay to be divorced, but I choose it because that's the best life I have. >> Right. It's like the difference between needing you and wanting you. >> I believe it's the best. It's the best thing to do. >> No, no, no. By the way, it's set up. >> Okay. >> Because I'm proof of it, right? >> Okay. >> And but I think it has to be uh fine-tuned to the system. I think the system Yeah. >> Yeah. was never updated and it has to be an update. Keep the system but update it a little bit. Look what what went wrong with mechanis days. It's you know >> but I think my honest belie nothing nothing days but the right way again I'm not into I'm not into that kind of stuff. I'm into fitness but I do my fair share of speaking to people. Yeah. >> But I I I think it's if it's done right, I do believe in a system. >> Yeah. >> But I believe the system has to be flexible with people. >> Yeah. >> Mr. allowance of mayor of I want to I do want to do a introduction and introduce give the proper introduction seeer the owner and founder of D fitness which is a fitness program uh with multiple locations of my men classes women classes and he preaches a lot about uh the importance of exercise and working out obviously with a trainer class setting where you know a little bit what you're doing and the benefits of that physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually of the cast podcast featured and I just had a lot of good conversations with him and he's open to sharing and that's something that's still rare in Ina community. So I appreciate you giving from your time to be here. Thank you. >> I I love it. There was actually a catas. >> Oh wow. Okay. >> I did the bony oil show. Met the langel man. >> Yeah. >> It was a lot of fun. So >> did you act? >> I acted myself. >> Was good trainer. >> Yeah. >> It was a lot of fun. By the way of a lot of people saw it already, but of stal people about 1,600 lb. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. In a stage. Anyway. >> Oh wow. >> It was a lot of fun. Yeah. >> Yeah. We were saying family. We were like literally saying and actual numbers like legit I promise you like in the last year this family and the total lost 250 lbs. >> That's amazing. Is the biggest support. >> Yeah. Yeah. Big results. If you have to have the support, it's the biggest thing. Wow, >> that's amazing. >> Yeah, we did keto and just do do healthy food. >> Apple and tea. >> Green tea >> and blueberries. >> Yeah, that's really all I have in the house. Mention junk cake because it's convenient. >> It's comfort food, >> right? So Z tell us a little bit about your story mentioned here in the podcast introduction. Welcome to season 2 season 3 because all about consistency the only podcast some English but all about consistency the feedback is incredible aside from the feedback and the platforms you mentioned messages. So membership members members members support the channel like and you get to see from every episode behind the scenes behind the scenes and you're just supporting the channel. you get to join a WhatsApp group WhatsApp group personally and it just uh means a lot. I have a list of good guests coming up. So we're going to continue and go stronger than ever. For me it's because the feedback the messages that I get are on a daily basis multiple messages that they have mentioned was inspired. So it really means a lot. I also want to remind people to support the sponsors either the vulana supporter from the from the podcast. You can always reach out and place an ad which is very very effective. You're getting it at a at a good price compared to the market and it and it works like the the audience is audience I would estimate mention per episode and with the click of a button they can just order your product or or order your service. So it's a it's a great place. I have a lot of sponsors and I and I'm picky with my sponsors. But uh so so thank you all for being here. Story obviously I know it basically. >> Yeah cuz people basically that's that's I always it's a tough question. I really have to think about it different in a certain sense it's a bit uncomfortable the question also >> but my upbringing um so that question it >> cuz you have to face yourself. A lot of times, you know, you have to really I don't want to give just a vague answer. No, I'm someone that's very passionate and uh understanding people. >> Okay, >> I was never giving that as a kid. >> Nobody understood me. Uh but I was I'm very passionate to understand people and and for people and I love when people are honest too. I love honesty and I'm very passionate and understanding people and helping people. Um but So I'm someone that was uh broken as a child you can say in finding my own path in life finding my own self and I find it through fitness because fitness gives me a place where >> and people get inspired by it and I'm unique and how I do it and the way I do it I myself and people see me for that >> right >> so that's who I am I guess Right. >> Okay. And you enjoyed to share and you have a good voice. >> Thank you. Yeah. You gave me a compliment the other day. So it's a soothing voice. >> Almost quotes of the day, >> right? >> So always put it people do give me a compliment. I'm looking from God and people love. Yeah. People love mention around the clock mention spirituality >> they look for connection. They were never giving as a child. >> Yeah. >> My belief >> whatever it is they're they're they're really really searching. I mean I mean I'm 30 years old. Uh the 20 I really got for 29 years I live numb. >> Oh wow. >> I started therapy only a year ago. >> Wow. >> Exactly time. Yeah. >> Congratulations. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. I started two years ago and I'm now turning 28 actually when the episode 28th birthday. So happy birthday. Yeah. Thank you. I'm very very excited. Right. Right. Right. This is like didn't want to This is and I'm very proud of the of the podcast because like and people love it like a marketing genius, you know. I was like I was like ang don't do it like this is D stamp people love D episodes and um and I'm very proud >> I think most people looking on a podcast actually watch my listen to it >> 100%. So the sound is this cost like $350 and >> video guy, >> right? Yo, this is the best of mics with millions of followers. >> Okay, so taking a compliment compliment YouTubers, you know. Yeah, >> people have a hard time with that. I see. Not the only one, I guess. >> Yeah. Number one podcast number one. Number one, number one, number one, meaning the amount of episodes the views of views per episode and whatever but the amount so automatically my channel had the ma views like to reach the ma audience and I'm very proud of that I call that to be number one >> me as number one >> I believe so >> right so so how did you build from now from broken and you went through a lot how did you build the mosa physically built and emotally and emotally mentally. >> Yeah. >> So, right >> I stepped into the in the gym. >> I was very I was bullih >> next level bullied. Bullied by words. >> Yeah. >> By words. Friends, they don't even realize the impact that it made on my life until today. sometimes. >> Mhm. >> For an example, I have a very hard time even though this is for me comfortable, but speaking in a public and mention when I open myself to my clients in a class, they can't believe it in a class. I take it over. I did the oil thing. >> Yeah. >> And >> because the abuse that I went through and the states, it's it's I always question myself. So to the gym and space I was being able to be me. >> So it's I was 15 years old to lift weights again. It's to be honest the it's only the last year that really was the biggest growth. I was able like to come out of my shell all the walls you know a little bit slowly broken down. So in therapy I was very open to it. I was very had conversation with clients about it. But for me, I believed I, you know, I'm fine. But the second everything shed, I started doing it. So the act is just a year. >> Oh wow. >> Abat is just a year and I do believe I made it very quick >> because I was always very aware of myself and always I was never I was never like ashamed of what I went through and I was but I owned it. I've never helped it, >> right? >> I knew I had a broken leg. I know it was not like shameful I had a broken leg but I never went to fix it. So it's also through support, a lot of support and being it's for me one of the hardest things I feel. Yes, >> I can't be vulnerable. It's so hard for me to be vulnerable. >> Support from them, >> wife, um friends. >> We have a friend group that we meet at least once a week. >> Like we go out and it's a it's it's you know it's so I appreciate them very much. >> Yeah. Even even my friends by the way that I knew for so long, nobody knew about my story that I went through. >> Mhm. >> Wow. >> Like I I told like I went through sexual abuse. I went through like physical abuse. A lot of stuff that I went through as a child and as a book and like manipulation abuse, narcissistic abuse, all of that. And I've never shared that with people. >> I've never seen a reason to share. But the more I share, the more people open up to me >> and the more it gives me in life and the more it gives me a purpose to help people. >> Yeah. through fitness >> um abuse meaning to say that what I've heard unfortunately is that mention abuse abuse meaning it unfortunately keeps on replaying for them meaning it kind of almost becomes like a pattern >> because abuse so he takes every little abuse >> but the question and his wife like looking at you now you're a successful guy you're a handsome guy you're a good you're a big guy yeah like meaning maybe it's just now because different right I wasn't always the strongest and I wasn't always the smartest I look different as a kid >> why do you think they picked on you what's the common denominator of a picked abuse >> everything has to do with the environment he grow up right I can be messages the messages that I got was I was nothing for an example As a kid, I always asked questions. >> Okay. >> But just a kid is curious. I was a very curious kid. But my questions hit buttons like so he got the message that you're not worried that you're not nothing is not you know you're not. >> So was that abused? Sounded like it was more friends. I guess malamis actual um o they enjoyed themselves >> I can tell you that much um so the first you only have to go to one abuse >> and then it's easy for other people to abuse you because let's say it's hard but abuse so you don't have a chance even to stand up for yourself >> to say no it >> in therapy now Like I went to like an intensive like a six day. I did a lot of work to be able to just say no. Get the >> Yeah. >> You know, >> it's it's it's a lot of work and a lot of people take abuse and a lot of people that they look very good, they look successful that you have no idea how much abuse they take. >> Right. >> So to any kid or listening to this now, what what would which advice would you give your younger self like what what can they do like it's abused? This is he says and any form of abuse >> so a kid I don't know what to say to a kid >> okay >> right because the advice that I can give is not for a kid but I have no idea but for you cannot run away from yourself you will always be by you nobody's going to it's the worst for me the worst is death if somebody abuses you walk up and get out don't take abuse >> right do you wish that you would have done that >> I Sure. I wish I would have had someone to tell me that also. You feel you get abused. For an example, at a later point, I felt it was too much. Wow. I'm not going in. I'm not going in. >> Don't let abuse happen. >> So, you wish that that would have happened a little bit earlier like the courage but I didn't. >> Right. >> But I can't too little. Uh it's it's never but uh don't >> I think I think certain kids if if you teach them strength and courage then they could possibly fight back like so and I truly believe that if it was was to happen anything sketchy he would absolutely do that like He would run away because there's no such thing. It's a whole different story. Right. >> Right. >> You can run away from abuse. You come home to it as a kid. An adult get divorced if you're being abused. >> Right. Quit job. Don't care what others say. Think about yourself. Don't do things what you don't like. Don't let things happen to you what you don't like. >> Go away from it no matter what. But run away from it. You can't. What do we What's the message that we have to give to other adults and to other kids? I think if they give understanding and strength right thinking now knowledge of a chain as to tell their kids to be careful because in in line of authority and dimension that shape our lives is really two people parents and and and and teachers right? >> Like the difference two authorities and whatever but authority hit. So he just leads by kindness by which is so important. Be a teaching to your kid. Teach your kid. You lead by example. Knowledge. I don't blame him. Something's going on at home, right? >> Meaning, why was nobody there to see that you're broken? >> That's what I'm trying to say. >> Could be there was I don't remember because my gun to childhood blank, right? I didn't want to face it. I didn't want to see It was painful throughout the gun to this and >> yeah, >> but it could be there was but I don't think so. But they didn't know how to act out something is up. >> Oh wow. >> He shouldn't act. I can't >> right. >> I can't is imperfect immature. >> Yeah. But I got and hid in front is off. call me. Let's take care of it. What's going on? Nobody did it with me, unfortunately. So >> right >> advice to give for I don't know because I I don't want to listen by the way >> and I believe a lot of you listeners also go through abuse because so many people go through abuse nowadays that no shameful abuse but reason is shameful right sex abuse narcissistic it's shameful that it happened to me Yeah, >> for a long time I've never shared my story and never because I've built myself up. I'm fine. Now I realize, you know what? No, this is a chapter of my life. This is who what I was and what built me. This is a chapter. >> Chapter one was written by my abuse. Chapter two is written by me now. >> Yeah. >> So I can choose what to put in the book. So I think a lot of people do still go through abuse and >> right. They say that the numbers are astronomical high. Like like a third like every third person was abused sexually. That's that's terrifying. >> That's terrifying. Sexual abuse. That's I tell you because the awareness I always ask him how was your day in you know any kind of abuse the best is not educating the educating but I can't feel in the basement I'll do it yourself. Yeah. I can't because I went through I went okay so being what I went through I look at a different thing right >> for an example even though what I went through I have to do this hello I have to respect them >> respect doesn't mean be my slave and that's be my slave. You're my slave, >> right? >> No. >> Wow. >> You're not. It's a respect. You have to so I don't have it in me. You have to teach a kid that, right? It means respect. It doesn't mean respect that person. Do something. I don't know. It's it's Yeah. >> You want me to shut up? Okay. This is my story. I I didn't do things to myself. People did it. Now I have a chance to speak about it. >> Right. >> So I think express himself and that comes from authority. Oh, this is my belief and could be my opinion is wrong but I see it with my kids and how they are and I'm very confident in them. >> They're comfortable to say no, >> right? >> Some kids are not comfortable to say no. >> Right. No. Teach them to say no. >> Yeah. >> That's how it starts. >> Yeah. You know what? This is a big a big a big point. By the way, gave him choices. Choice. Yeah. the pressure, the terror, the I'm not taking for me and abuse the likes and the guy and they were actually okay with it. But I'm saying I learned something different. abuse. I want to ask you and you went through it um which is very sad to hear but the question is what's now the healing process now you are in therapy and second of all what is the process how how do you recovery down low depressed whichever how does a person build themselves worthy of a good life and a family. >> So for me, I can't share my experience. I believe everyone is different because everyone takes abuse. Okay. Initiated, >> right? >> Not everyone will understand what it does to a person. >> Unfortunately, and nowadays I say fortunately that I went through it. >> I have a different look on life and I have a different understanding of people and I have a different understanding to be a father to my kids. Wow. >> Um, so the more you face it and the more you speak about it, the more clear it becomes to you. Point number the issue is because sexual abuse has a lot of issues. It can play issues in marriage. It can play issues in your sexual life in in your identity, your comfortability. >> Like it's it's a very shameful thing, right? But the more you speak about it, and again, I'm only a year in therapy and I did a lot of work for that. I'm not I'm not at the top, but the more you speak about it and the more you face it. Wow. >> Don't be afraid of that. >> It happened to me. I can't for a long time. Why? Why? How can a father do it? Two family members. You have close family members. How can they do it? How can I can you know what it happened? >> Wow. >> How can I go in my life? This is what happened to me. Next. This is my story. >> Yeah. This is what happened to me. I have to realize I have to fix it. So the more you face it, the more you speak about, you don't have to speak publicly the way I do, but speak to your friends. Open up. The first time I opened up to my friend, I can't remember sitting in my It felt so light on me. >> Yeah. >> So light. I mean the first person was my wife and also November November 30th 10 year university >> only okay it took almost a half year only opened up I was in my father's house and I literally broke down I couldn't walk out I broke down what's going on I broke down and I opened up to it felt so like it was the first time that I shared about my abuse but since then I've never shared I closed it down and I've realized you can't close it because if you close it you close yourself My therapist told me if you close your feelings and feelings, you don't feel good. Also to feel feelings, you must be able to feel the tough feelings. >> Yeah. >> So you have to speak about it. You have to be open to face it. And this is what happened to me and see how you cannot do the mistakes. >> Yep. Wow. I I learned the best uh healing for feeling or feeling for healing is to feel the feelings like is okay to feel this to learn. This is okay to feel the feelings whatever it is. You know I when I went through grief from missingler my close friend I was like feel us is okay you miss him like wow I used to tell him I hate you. You left me like I I felt my feeling. I spoke my mind. I felt my feeling. What how has therapy been for you? I know therapy is from young teenagers. They want to go for therapy. They want to have somebody simply that they can talk to and they want to get a psychology approach. They want to understand what is it doing to my brain? Which is how I define therapy to be able to talk about something and understand what did what did this do to me? What is it doing to me right now? What can it do for me in the future? That's how I would define therapy. I know for myself I did therapy for almost two years. Um and it was amazing some Jose limiting beliefs and rewired new beliefs about myself and it gave me a new confidence and and it did a bunch for me. How are you seeing your experience? How in general therapy? for me therapy um because I used to be that and guess what I I I feel stupid saying it but it was me so I can't run away publicly victimized I went through way more than you went through >> dark dark stuff it's not you know just no it was real you know >> so move along. But the more I started doing therapy, the more I realized, wow, >> different realized I'm not alone in my struggle. >> Yeah. Whatever, you know, like speak about it. I always, and again, I'm not afraid to say it because it was me. I always had a judgy look on people. People didn't see it but that was in my mind especially because abused by that right even though abused but the system I couldn't look in the face and I couldn't but the more I know even abused by they happens to be >> but they community is a wonderful community I'm part of it I love it I'm not afraid of it Oh, I I can speak about it publicly. So, my life happens to myself a whole different accepting my pain. Accepting my life. Yeah, it's okay. You are in pain. >> Yeah, >> you went through a lot. You have to build yourself up now. You can't go and uh how did it happen? Why did it happen? It happened. Move along. You know, >> heal the get to the time to heal. So I remember the first was a little bit different than usual. It wasn't like a therapy session. My first my first therapy >> Yeah. >> was going on intensive. >> So it was a six day intensive on the phone and that was my first uh day of therapy. So >> how did you how was that? >> Eye opener. It was grief. It was anger. It was like six day like you work from 8:00 in the morning 10:00 at night. >> Wow. you work on yourself that was the and guess what >> I can share a little bit >> a year ago story came out a little like a little bit public and you know >> and I got a phone call close family as EPA got food in the whatever I got involved and because I got involved so in my trauma then food. A lot of childhood pain came up. >> Yeah. >> A lot. All the things that I covered. So amount of walls and man came crashing down on me like in two week >> like two weeks I was gone like I saw on my business even like it's it's I couldn't >> I did a video then with Indic. >> Yeah. >> And logo I gave credit to the wrong person. >> Yeah. They mentioned called me up and well right now and my mind wasn't in the right space happened to be he knew exactly what I was talking about my family you need this call this person this is what you need >> wow >> so I called that therapist join. It was $5,000 and uh wow, >> the best decision I made in my life. So, this is what therapy was for me and what it is for me is to start accepting myself and being okay with my flaws and being okay. Yeah, this is man of flaws and I own it. Own my mistake. Own myself. Like I told you, I did psychedelics. I did shrooms. I don't plan on doing it again. I did it one time. But for me it was the most painful but positive experience because I've realized you cannot run away from yourself. >> Wow. >> No matter how much you try, I will always have me. Let's say do I have no idea what you believe of me, what you think of me, right? But I know what I believe of me and what I think of me and I'm going to have it until I die. So I cannot run away from you. So I have to accept myself. >> Yeah. How was the experience of the psychedelics? So you're saying you wouldn't do it again as of now? >> Um, no. Okay. >> Research again if you want I can give you my honest opinion but I did it because therapy that I did I still felt stuck. >> Mhm. >> I still there's some stuckness that therapy I can't get to it. >> I don't know what it is. I felt stuck in any aspect of my life and I did it. I did it >> and I did MDNA in shrooms. What it did for me is this realized that no matter what you have to accept yourself and you cannot run away from yourself meaning to say in my mind am I good am I too bad am I this what do you believe of yourself >> wow >> that's what it is what do you believe of yourself that's what it did to me it opened me up to see for me for an example it might sound funny for people and I've never did shrooms or psychedelics for me to playing out for me and all the choices I've made because of my abuse that I went through. Yeah. >> So explain to me how how is this medicine so powerful? What what actually happens? >> How how is the guy to see in carton where did you take it with whom? >> So I took it with my therapist and was a group of more people. Obviously I can't share much information but it was a group of more people. So it wasn't alone but it was my therapist that did it and I have to give them a shout out. I don't know. >> Yeah. Yaski, thank you. >> Yeah. Oh, I know them actually. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> I think I think that they do wonderful work there. It's beyond what they do. Like so much people what they help. But anyway, so you take the medicine to do Madrat and Oalite. They like to your mattress and you're going to the trip, right? trips, >> right? >> I just want to be me. And don't get me wrong, I can see what's wrong with that. Like is the amount of love, you know what I'm saying? Like growing up, I have great family and whatever, but I still I didn't feel always loved. To me, the criticism, the chap and the days to me that felt like home being a child that's what I'm used to actually leave like I don't know this feel sometimes okay this feels like home so my question to you is why break out of it doesn't it scare you as identity is the you know how much fear I had with that. Yeah, she was I love you. But she she was afraid. She like are you going to come over like I'm doing it because to make first the marriage better, myself better, better father for my kids, a better husband for sure. >> But I was fearful for that. But my therapist always trust the process and actually submit to the process. >> Mhm. >> Like a full submission, >> right? >> Then is when the canc >> so what did you feel? So the names the they >> so I took first I was I didn't want to take shrooms first because I knew shrooms is very scary. >> This is shrooms mid psychedelic. >> Shrooms is a form of psychedelic. Oh, >> again I'm not expert in psychedelic. I did it once in my life and shown. >> So the psychedelic with this ganam is >> MDMA. Yeah, >> it's cold and MDMA I took in a pill and the shrooms it was in with lemon juice. >> Okay. >> Um so I didn't want to take shrooms because I was I because of the fear. Maybe I don't know. >> Um so I didn't want to take it in in in the beginning but I took MDMA. MDMA is a love drug. Yeah. >> So an hour in mushrooms. So it's right away I my biggest fight was fair with the day. Yeah, >> he was talking to me. Don't worry going to you like I was literally crying and I was speaking to myself and I was laughing laughing on myself. Just do it. And images. I don't know if I saw images but I saw myself basically let's say I got sexually abused and that make me do certain things right a certain belief that I had that limit me of other things in life I saw that it was very painful to face myself basically what I view was >> wow >> you face truth for me that was the most painful thing but it lasted about two hours and the more I started and I started realizing oh medicator that I did get my in the toilet. I was talking to myself. >> I was trying to escape from it, but I just I couldn't anymore. I submitted to it. >> So for me, it it it viewed all amount of decisions I made because I was trying to run away because of what I went through. And I've realized no it's I have to face myself. I have to be there for myself >> and no one will do it for me >> right >> but me. >> I'm thinking that how much he can also discover. But just think about that just sitting distractions because the phone 24 hours the amount of mention on board in the 24 hours from Shab 25 is huge magazines. Most people just sleep through most of the A lot of people don't even realize what they're doing by the subconscious don't even realize that they're numbing themselves. Right. >> I love shabas for that reason. >> Yeah. >> It's the only time you really have no distractions. I'm with myself. I'm with my family. I love it. >> Right. Right. I I think I'm a person that can feel a lot of anxiety sometimes. nish feel safe like growing up and I can see how it can affect every decision in my life whether it's business or personal and relationship you know it's it's I'm saying this looks like subconsciously meaningful business because they they are so afraid and they don't even know it >> I was also living in a lot of fear by the way F in the mind company again uh when I opened up I was the first one in the first one I'm not the first person or trainer ever but I was the first one to open in a community that was very foreign thing exercise yeah but it's it was but I did it >> it's mention the other day what's the biggest mistake and How do you do mistakes? Calculate your mistakes in life >> a business if a personal thing is look at what you can lose investing a million dollar in a company right what what are you going to lose a million dollars right >> are you okay to losing a million dollars if yes do it if it works out good in fact you lost a million dollars what's the word true colors at least the hospital my true color at least you know what you love me because you see my true What is the risk? What is the risk? What's the biggest risk? I'll walk away. Okay. Okay. But what is the risk? I mention them, >> right? >> And people are very live fair. They don't a lot of people don't even realize that they live in fair, >> right? Wow. Um, let's talk a little bit about entrepreneurship because you own a successful business and it's a very not easy thing to do in today's days of age. you know, run a business. >> Exactly. I want to work out. I want to be healthier. I want to build muscle. Whatever it is, you actually went and you did it. So, did you train people personally first? >> So, yeah, I started doing this in exercise >> actually with therapy. I realized that fitness was my biggest medicator. >> Yeah. Ah, the distraction. >> And this is the first time I'm going to share it. could be it's it's not the best to share for business wise but you know what this is my identity this is my honest thing so I'm going to share it >> um I started hating what I do for a little bit um period of a time I started hating what I do because I've realized it was the biggest medicator for me correct I don't want to do it anymore >> y >> but then I've learned no I love the human connection I love deep conversations with my clients so I love that part I'm going to bring it out in that part and do that and clients started liking it way more >> right cuz the brain uh me real self. >> So I started doing it. Yeah. And uh I always joke to myself and my wife as 30 years from now, 50 years from now, I'll be able to put a picture defense also started in uh in the in the in my trunk from my Ford Focus, you know, great clients. So it's for example, my first ad that I put I would never put it again. Make your dreams come true. Anyway, so I started out Yeah. I It was for about three or four months that I was in home with zero clients. I was the first or the second one to ever to even advertise it publicly the way I did in my new gym. >> I had nothing. I got a job a full-time job to construction. I got I got bored of it because I hate the construction industry. I also come from construction. >> So I I hate it. People to anyway. >> Yeah. >> And so clients I had [ __ ] I had nothing. >> Yeah. You left your job before having clients. >> I had nothing. Okay, fine. >> I had nothing. Again, I was a very I was always on a budget. I was a very calculated person with money. >> Yeah. I mean I was I still to this day I don't use >> Oh wow. >> Yeah. But so like 3 4 months she made $400 a week but at least that my monthly was very low. So finally I get and I knew what to do but I didn't know you know too much. technology zero experience whatsoever. I've never uh worked with people. I've never like communicate. My communication skills was the worst ever back then. >> So, guess what? If someone This is when you know you made it. >> Wow. So, this is when I know I made it. I charge $30 a session then. Yeah. >> So slowly, you know, and I got booked up. I hired a trainer. There wasn't a trainer exercise. Yeah, why not? So, >> and what do you have now? Like what's how approximately how many trainers, clients, classes? What do you what's the business basically? um with the sessions we do. >> Yeah. How many sessions? Yeah. Whatever. Like how what did it grow into? >> It grew into bur. We have two locations a month. >> Okay. >> We have uh male trainers, female trainers. We have 20 22 classes a month that we do. We have 24 classes. That's private classes. France, businesses, >> right? >> Uh it's it's it's nice, you know. I I don't feel comfortable sharing everything. >> Yeah, man. That's huge. By the way, >> the way you say it started from one and then you have now two locations and >> classes. Amazing. >> I think everyone is like that. But I have a such a hard time seeing what I've accomplished. >> Yeah. >> The other day I think Yeah. Hind actually. So shout out to him. He told me by the way you know you're a pioneer in your industry. >> Yeah. >> And I was sitting like a few minutes in my account like and I was like you know what? No I am. You know what? It's right. Yeah. But I have a very hard time looking at what I've accomplished. >> Meaning to say nowadays, I'm not the only trainer anymore companies. >> But I paved the road for a lot of people >> that didn't even know how to do it. My cousin actually he opened up in Monroe. Gave my book for exercise. Yeah. So uh grow to something and we're still growing. We're still growing. >> What type of people come to you? >> Um >> meaning we have Yeah. All types of clientele. We have the client but they >> but we have all the serious people. No, they want to live healthy. I always tell my clients, it's not about building muscle or a leaner weight. It's to live a healthy life. That's all what it is. >> The the consistency is the part. >> The consistency is the hardest. We do have long running clients. >> Yeah. >> The reason why it was the hardest, I mean, I used to have but I stepped away for a long time. I used to be a trainer. I had 15 clients a day >> on my own. Oh wow. But since I started having to work on my business, I stepped away from it. So I it took me a long time to figure out that people should trust my trainers, not myself. Like my trainer says is just good if not better than me even. >> Yeah. Well, this is on job. It is fully uh it's a session. But rather than my trainer, you know, he's going to do a better job than training you than me. Correct. So it but we have longunning clients. Yeah. >> Wow. Um budget actually shout out from solution. My wife actually is doing a a course now by Dave Ramsey. A financial coach Dave Ramsey. Yeah. >> Okay. Very nice. Yeah. Every dollar app let me just get clear downloaded the app like I'm not putting in the charges I'm not checking the app but most people have no idea where their money is going from coming from like and and this is when I mention when you don't know what's happening. Um what does budgeting for you mean? >> So it goes back to my uh to my childhood because I've never had anything. It came from an unhealthy place but it turned into a healthy thing. Okay. So, I can't see a dollar. I can't do anything for you. But I don't know. It's it's you tell the dollar where to go instead of the dollar telling you, "Wow, but in a smart way. You know what? No, it's not in my budget this month. I'm not going to do it. Bringing clients, but it's not in my budget. And you have to stay strong to it because if you want to pay, I'll do it. I am not paying. I only pay $5, $10. I don't care. It's my money. I know I'm going to, you know, family life and money is important for me. credit card for somebody but they pulled to a credit card. I never had it. >> Yeah, that's a good thing to cigarette. >> That's good. >> Yeah. >> So I don't understand credit cards that it's it's the point any credit card on the credit card. So it's for me is a big thing. I think it's it's comes from a strong place in the brain. Yeah. >> It's very powerful. >> Am I the best at it? No. But at least I know that's my value and I'm doing it and >> she does a good job on it. >> Oh, she's also good in budgeting. >> Yeah, she >> get is in check. She also comes from calculated, you know. >> You seem like a wise guy. You have a lot of information. You did a lot of work on yourself and you speak I see when you speak of your wife, you have respect and that's that's nice to see. >> I have much respect because without it I would never be what I am because so many times I feel in business. I wanted to quit it. Push on. Push on. Don't give up. You're not a quitter. >> She believed in me. She still does. So I have much respect for her for sure. I mean she's the mother of my kids and she's my wife and I it's unfortunately for some reason >> I mean I'm always a clean it's thanks to my wife. It's not me. I didn't do I don't clean you know clean who did it. Not not me. Of course, it's it's the most respect. I mean, >> so I don't know. Yes, I it's different. I think you have to look in yourself. It's it's this is the biggest point. And this is me saying it. I've never heard anyone else saying it. I think if you can bring it into relationship, it's the biggest thing for a client. You know what? That's really deep. I guess like the people love themselves. I don't know. >> So I say when you get triggered get triggered, you know deep down how you want to be treated. >> Even the other person can't see it, you know. >> So treat your wife when she triggers you the way you want to be treated when you triggered. >> Wow. >> All right. Because guess what? Our spouses and our kids are the biggest triggers. You're going to get triggered from your wife. You're going to get triggered from your kid. It is normal. You're a human being with feelings with a heart and mind. You get triggered. But think for a second. I mean, if I'm saying it to myself and marriages, you know, then I get to if you know your wife, it's not a fun relationship. >> The best expert in it. I still go, you know, but uh it's it's to think for a second. creating a treat but even at my most triggering point >> right understand very powerful what do you think and I feel like and I agree like for some But what are you seeing? Like people are just becoming a little bit more modernized meaning. >> Yeah. like people are more open-minded. >> Like dating or whatever. >> You're still grateful at these regular show and days. >> I tell you, I'm very grateful because being the 20-year-old that I was, I don't think anybody will find attractive. >> Meaning to say back then, right, visit my other medicators and other things, right? I was >> right. So if my wife found me attractive, I'm very grateful for that. >> Um and I've become a whole different person. I mean I >> one good trait that I do have I'm a very flexible person. >> Yeah. It's a sound >> I'm very moldable. I'm very very easy going. So, but I I was never I got I got back then like guess what? A fulltime job upstate. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And three to four weeks after that. Oh wow. Get out. >> I mean, you have to really want to be. I think a lot of people want it. Yeah. >> Because they want something. Do you really are you really ready for that? >> Yeah. >> If face that answer and answer that to yourself. If you're really ready, then you know what to do. >> Yeah. Right. Right. >> You know what to do. 100%. >> I mean businesses and personal deep down you know the answer to it all. >> Yeah. >> You know you don't want to face it sometimes >> cuz facing it you have to do the work. So deep down I'm not denying it but deep down I don't know was health excuse I think I think daily affirmation I'm happy with my relationship status because I know that God is in control like when I fully gave it up to him and I said it verbally and I tried to feel it every day like powerful moment for me fully surren I don't think there's episical again in our community there's not right all about that but again in our community it's not going to happen but that's the real answer to do because you know take ownership of Yeah. Business coaching a client. >> Yeah. Very nice. >> Do it. Don't be lazy. Anything else you want to share that comes to mind before we wrap up? >> Is uh actually I'll skip. Okay. Very nice. Okay. Fascinating. Really really really >> I want I didn't get to share a lot to my profession with health and fitness. >> I didn't even the benefits but I always say leaves us for a part two. Like I think a lot of people are going to like this episode and feel appreciative of it. And obviously like questions and comments always available and welcome to part two. The idea is to to get people engaged and excited and to help them with information. So if we can accomplish that is >> the following of YouTube. What is his name? Um >> I reviewed podcast. >> Yeah. Viggy. >> Viggy. Viggy. >> A guy. Yeah. Yeah. we made like cross collaboration and I love him like and he's very funny we need you a podcast of the struggling Yeah. Sexual addiction. If you've never been through sexual abuse without being with someone who's been through, don't even speak. Don't even say your opinion. >> My my honor is because it is so hurtful and it's so that you have no idea how how many people go through life and they don't share. Why don't they share? Because Yeah. >> And it's it's hurtful. It's it's it's not not hurtful. It's not hurtful. It's it's it's pitiful almost like >> for me a a big part of me why I've never shared my story is because mention >> Yeah. >> But I've learned you know what guess what I know who I am >> in my mind and I know like it's it's I don't care anymore. >> Correct. And to bottle up to bottle it up is self-help. I would I would tell him you would be surprised how many close friends of you did. So be careful what you're saying because not not everyone shares mention they don't feel comfortable sharing it >> because maybe your next friend that sits next to you has done it right >> because be careful be mindful of people. >> Yeah. >> But because let people speak So yeah, thank you so much for listening and for being here. Thank you for following and being a part of positivity uh podcast and and we always appreciate the comments. We always appreciate the likes and the shares and mention sometimes lo bonus like a donation. It really means a lot. It helps support the channel. >> Can we split the donation with the cont? >> Yeah. Yeah. I had to do it. I know my close friends are going to laugh at that. >> Yeah. >> So, and uh it really means a lot. Again, I want to talk about the membership. I'm going to continue to post every single week extra bonus content, see extra podcast, and when once you join the membership by Kimsta Access, see the WhatsApp group. It's an exclusive WhatsApp group for everybody that is a member on the channel WhatsApp and touch. If you're not signed up to my status, there's the link in the description. Allah's information like on WhatsApp, he's on Instagram at the Instagram and on business information on website description. So, you can always check it out over there and get in touch with him if you want to book a uh training uh session. More than anything, >> a healthier life. >> Huh. >> If you want to live a healthier life, >> want to live a healthier life. Yeah, more than anything again, thank you for being here. I really, really appreciate it. And if you enjoyed this episode and you leave a comment, a like, it it means the world and we'll continue to bring give out beautiful episodes. Thank you everybody. Thank you Zma for your time. >> Thank you. I really I really I realized that the first time I I'm looking at the camera right now. I love face to face conversation. So >> same. I I tried to focus on that. >> So I've learned one thing to make eye contact. I've never done that before. >> Oh wow. Because like shame, >> I couldn't I couldn't look people in the face. I always looked away and they and I've realized the more I've realized by the way I don't know if you go longer but the more I've realized >> is people notice that >> in my mind I've never realized that people know but the more I've realized it myself people notice that >> 100%. >> So the next eye contact is important >> about being present. It's about being in the moment. This is >> a firm handshake and giving eye contact. That's you know >> that's right. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> Thank you. Okay.