Yud Shevat 5786 Farbrengen: You'll Never Look at Your Ego -- Or Insecurities -- in the Same Way

The name of this niggan is Jeb Hearts. It was composed by of Jebin and it's called there's a nick called Jeb Cup. I don't know if we're going to get to that, but this is Jeb Hearts. Jeb Cup that was made for the brain and Jeb Hearts was made for the heart. more to the ya you Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh You know, Oh, you know you're Yeah. Everybody bye-bye. Oh my May you know you know you know you bye-bye. I may I may my baba my m I'm my I'm m Ah, all you B5 Yeah. Aba. by no Oh, you know. more. Oh, you know. Everybody, >> welcome everybody to theat fabangan. Yuchvat everybody knows probably is the yoyula. the stalkus the art site of the previous labb the rebay I actually have this to carry his name and his passing was on Shabas par's boy 10 to 8 in the morning 1950 so this is the 76th yula it's also the year a year later of 1951 75 years ago when his son-in-law thebah assumed the leadership succeeding his father-in-law Rebayatz. I want to thank very much everybody who's here, everybody who's here virtually. I want to thank very much we have the music fit Ben Shimon who's always exceptional. Thank you. Incredible. Thank you for the past and for the present and for the future. And uh he really he carries probably one of the only people I don't even have to discuss with him the event before. Give him a date, a time. The energies uh click. Yeah. What is it called? The energies vibe. They vibe. Yeah. Did I say it right? Okay. Today I Today I did ask him to sing a few nigurum. I wanted special nigum that we usually don't do. So that was our communication. And I want to thank also Yankee Title and his crew for the live stream and the video. Yankee Toble is one of the most exceptional videograph videographers of our time. So thank you Yankee and your crew and Silber for it and I want to thank the sh for bringing us together making it happen especially RBlazer and Heather Shiner for their leadership and Shiner and all the staff of the Shul and Rabin Philipsson for his invaluable dedication and partnership. I also want to before we begin announce all the people who sponsored generously and dedicated this Fabangan. Number one, our dear friends Rebuan and Chevy Graden from Los Angeles honoring all of the amazing channels ofidis in our generation and blessing them that they should know their true value also dedicated by Dr. Michelle Zev Ravnoi in loving memory of his son Rabb Ario Ravnoi who was actually a student of mine and passed away on eth of his yard site Ravoi dedicated by his father Dr. He was an exceptional exceptional um human being. Also dedicated by our very own Amy and Rahul Spitz sitting right here for a complete and speedy recovery for Hitzel Bas Esther and dedicated by our very own Rabim Lowski also sitting right here in honor of his new grandson named after his father Shim Benel and Zushi Latowski Mazak. And finally, finally, this is very special. The Fabian is dedicated by Estie and Mosha Kougal in honor of the birthday of her mother, Rabbitson Hadasa Kalbach, whose birthday is on Yuchvat. Rabbad Kalbach is the wife of the unforgettable Rebel Kalbakim Kalbak who was a twin brother of Kalbak and uh her husband Rebel as his brother Schma were extremely close they felt like children of the Balul of the Rebayas from birth the daughter of Zalman and Sarosin he was a first cousin of the Reb's father their fathers were brothers and uh during the war and its aftermath and her father put up an orphanage in France where hundreds and hundreds of children were saved and she had rabbit and together with her mother and father were involved in saving these hundreds of children. I heard today actually that when Nishn was a kala her wedding was supposed to be shushpurim but she fell very very ill she and her mother and there was a question of the wedding can happen she was very sick so her father went in to theatula this is 1948 so it's two years before his passing and somebody sent me today his transcript of the and he said he looked looked at me and he spoke to me like a father to a child and he heard about the situation with the kala hadasa who would become kalbak and it was purim the b was supposed to be in two days and she was really really sick. So the rebay told him tell the bal his name was that when he reads the migill the night of purim and he comes to the he should raise his voice by the word and that's what he did he says and the wedding took place shared with me today that when she was four or five she talking way back before the war. Her father went in. She has a head. She's a so she's very sharp cookie. So her father asked at the age of four what she should learn what she should learn. So the said she should learn when she becomes older when she becomes old she should learn. That's a very famous from the Abhav. It's known as he said twice. Alsa today is her 99th birthday and uh she told me she's watching tonight. So her daughter and family that her daughter and son-in-law dedicated. So I asked her if she's already an alenka and she already learned man because the said so she said she's not yet an alenka. So she didn't yet learn Sam. She's still by. So uh okay I like that. So this is dedicated in her honor and uh also in memory of her husband and we want to bless her and wish her I'm not going to say till 120. I'll say till 180 the age of Yitzkavu and uh many many long happy healthy prosperous and amazing years with tremendous from children grandchildren great grandchildren and great great grandchildren and toble to dance with all of us. Amen. Amen. And thank you to all of these very special friends and benefactors. There's a letter there's a letter that the Reb used to quote at Fabbrang a few times that the Balula the Rebayat wrote after the passing of his father the Reb which was B Niss the second of Nissen 1920 and he writes that letter he writes the the day of is a very it's a very auspicious day it's a yimula it has a lot of powerful energy because it says in Tanya that when the day of somebody passing all their and all their avoid and all of their mim their entire life story is completed and it's revealed in the world and Yeshua is and each on the yard site it's that same revelation and he said and the role of everybody is we use the three words which means stand ready all of you to receive this flow of energy and internalize it in your life and the once said it was 1960 that is three words here and the word imdu means stop like imdueshma stop pause pause and he said it means that for this time people have to pause because people are so this is what he said people are so distracted imdu can you be in one place not just one place physically but one place emotionally huh >> this is 1960 before there were smartphones before there was internet before there was computer even the pentagon didn't have computer then maybe they just started but uh certainly there were no fax machines there were no emails and certainly there was no WhatsApp as far as I know when I was born in 1972 was still typewriters everybody was using typewriters and that continued for another 10 years imu pause means be present be present with with your heart with your soul it's very easy not to be present wherever you are imdu that's the first thing to be able to be present H is he said openhearted means prepared prepared means receptive open and that it means like the says to remain openhearted with love to the one who the one who evokes Hashem's compassion and blessing on the Jewish people which on the yard is And is together connected integrated united with love not amputating ourselves from each other separating from each other. So there's three things imdu to be able to be present with with openheartedness with receptivity with love with connection and united integrated says those are the three things and asb said in the Allah denies all three things that's what he said are easy a person just has to want to other it's not the things that are excruciatingly transcendent that you have to climb mountains that only a few equip people can do it. In other words, it's something when he says easy doesn't mean that it doesn't need work. When it means it's relevant to everybody. It's not something that's only for uh for unique people. So that's what I want to bless all of us that for this myself and all of us we should be able to observe this instruction of imdu and these three words were so ingrained by the reb he would constantly repeat it always to be able to internalize to be able to be open and to feel the love and the connection because when you have the support everything changes. We're not just lonely survivors on an isolated island after a shipwreck. shipwrecks there are. But we're not isolated and in many ways some of you participated in the my we just finished learning the mime of this year said 19 um 66 exactly 60 years ago and uh we had nine classes approximately how many hours? >> 18 >> 18 and a half hours. Okay. He was counting and he sat through them so he gets credit. 18 and a half hours. These are people who were diagnosed as a few people sitting with diagnosed as ADHD in first grade. Just for the record, I happen to know some of these people in first grade. They were diagnosed with ADHD, but they sat for 20 hours and nobody forced them. There was no attendance and uh it was a very very special extremely special journey that still continues. But if one was to summarize how does the whole theat gave out for the actual day of his as I mentioned he published a mime for the day when he actually passed away which began the opening and the theme the the motif of the discourse is that when Hashem created the world the primary place of the was in this world but then came all of the sins and they expelled the and then came seven sadikim and they began to bring it down and Mosha was the seventh and he finally brought it down from the first heaven to the earth of from the seventh heaven to the sixth to the fifth and so on and so forth yakov kahus ley kahass am is the seventh and he brought it down to the earth and that's the theme of what that look what does that mean what does that mean that that's the purpose that's the ultimate purpose but I think in this context one practical thing that it means in a very real way is is the you know the word we often use at least recently it's called embodiment. When you say the is in the earth it means where's the earth? The earth means your body my body my house my life my dining room my marriage my business my physical emotional psychological spiritual life. The divine presence can remain aloof sublime nice ideas beautiful ideas. The Gmorra says in that when a thief needs to go steal, so right before he breaks into the house, he prays to God. You got to pray to Hashem. Of course, he makes a deal, you know, if I'm successful, 50% for charity, whatever it is, I'm going to do good things. He doesn't pray to Queen Elizabeth or King Charles. He doesn't even pray to Donald Trump or BB Netanyahu. He prays to Hashem. So why is he a Ganov? The answer is because it's, you know, as somebody once said, business is business. is pleasure is pleasure. You know, business is pleasure is pleasure. You got to pray to God, but business is business. That's not integrated. The bring the in the earth means that it's embodied. It's in my body. It's in my my energy. It's in my nervous system. It's in my brain. It's in my soul. And it's in every limb of my body. Says, "I've came back to my garden." There's a beautiful story that uh Monasmois was a of he was one of the great of the bal of the he was also had a very very good sense of humor and apparently he was very athletic and used to call him means he had a very very mischievous part to him but extremely deep person a very very sensitive and deep person it's known as monkus and uh they say a story about him. He was very funny. They say a story about him that his wife once sent him to buy milk. So he went out to the market to buy milk in middle he had this crazy chuka this crazy desire that he has to go visit alterba whatever his height was he has to go like he was just he had to go. So he wasn't far. She traveled to Lejna which is a town in Belarus where alterba was and he went to visit him. He saw the alterba and uh he came back and then he remembered his wife is waiting for the milk, right? So he ran to the marketplace. He got a case of milk. He ran up the steps of his house and he was running so fast cuz his wife asked him. So he tripped. He tripped and all the milk spilled. Wife says, "What happened?" He says, "This is what happens when you rush. This is what happens when you rush." So that's Imu imdu said Mon they say was once walking with and they came they walked by's house and he hung himself he was an athletic figure so he literally hung himself suspended on the porch leading into Dr's house and he was hanging I don't know from what he was hanging but he was hanging from something so they asked him what's this so said as follows he says whenever you go by a shoe maker you'll see there's a shoe hanging in the window and if you go by a suit store you'll see there's beautiful suit hanging in the window. If you go by a fruit store, you'll see fruits of display of fruits, right? And if you go by a tailor, you'll also see his fabric hanging in the window. So he says by hanging. When you walk by the house of the should be hanging there. Yeah. So that's why he was hanging himself up. People walk by the store, they want to see the product. Yeah. But think he was saying something very deep. He was saying people are going to know about alterba through you, right? Should I walk into the shoe store? Should I walk into the fruit store? Let's see what do you have by the window. Oh, I like this jacket. I like this piece of jewelry. I like this watch. I like this shoe. It's attractive. Yeah. So, he hung himself up. He was explaining what it means to be a true student. What it means to be a true disciple. You become a representative. That's what it means. It's you. It's not just you're selling something. You become a representative of it. you become an embodiment of it. That's so I want to bless all of us that we should be able to use the energy of this special day and this special night in which the light of the ayat and the light of the are manifested viscerally in the world to be able to find a inside of us and to be able to radiate it to ourselves to our families to our loved ones and to the whole world. So, you know, no no he composed a niggan before he went into before he would go on, he would sing this. You see how prepared himself to walk go into his you know how it goes. You'll start the pitch. For this and you have to pause imdu for this and you have to get off your phones. You're not on your phones. But if somebody even has a niggan I sang it once by the sh Yeah. Sit down. Menal. So sit right here. I am by now. Come on. I am the Nana I am I am I na I am na. am. Yeah. D. Yes. Nay may ah. I am. Aya may haya. I am hy nana. Yeah. in da da da da da da. Dy and I am Yeah. Nyana may na. This is a song that was composed by a Jew named he was a and this was a niggan and he composed before he went on before he would go on the alterb. This is what he would sing. This was his preparation. I once heard a story from Rabiel Khan who was the Kaiser. He passed away a number of years ago. And uh I learned by him for a number of years, quite a few years. And he once shared a story. The Reba, as you know, would have three time three times a week, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. They would start usually at 8, 8 in the evening. And it went for many hours, sometimes even the whole night. Later it became two two nights a week. And this went on for many, many years. And throughout a night, hundreds of people would come. It's called when the rebba would finish it finish 2 or 3 or 5 or 6 or 7 the time finished 8 in the morning he would go home he would usually walk home and uh in those years who would walk home with him was his personal secretary Rabbi Khadakov his name was Rabbi Isaacov and they would walk home together and the rebba would on the way share with him things that were relevant to his work from the night and then he would walk the Reba home. The Reba lived on President's Street and then he would walk to his own home which was on Crown Street. So said that uh one morning after this, Rabbi Khadakov called him in and he said that last night he was walking home with the Reb and the Reb shared with him a conversation that he had with a young man who came in. It was a young man who came in to see the Reb and he asked the Reb a question and the Reb answered him and on the way home the Reb shared this with Rabbi Khadakov and he told Rabbi Khadakov give it over to the Khan. It would be Kadai. It would be worthwhile for him to transcribe it. It should be written up and taken in the sikas. What was it? said this. He heard this from heard from the rabbi afterwards. Theb said a young man came into me. I think it's around tin the 50s 1956 I think if I'm not mistaken around that time that uh zip code or number and he told that he has a problem with ego. He has a problem with yesad young man. He's talented. He's resourceful. He does good things. But he always feels that his ego hijacks it. His ego right away comes and and and abducts the situation and it like it puts such a sour like puts a you know it's like putting extra salt in it just ruins it. It ruins it because right away there is the ego you know oh you know how great I am, how much attention I'm getting, how much validation I'm getting. The bottom line is that it comes in right away. They it comes in nasty, you know, like the parachutist just lands there and boom, it belongs to me and with every whatever he does and he's asking the for advice. So the this is the early 50s. So the said he wants to give him a metaphor and the metaphor is imagine I'm not saying exactly the words I'm telling you the the theme. way I remember it says imagine somebody just won a uh a lottery with let's say you won a lottery $300 million I'm just using a number okay you won a lottery $300 million and you get the check you get the check in your hand and you have the money you can actually go deposit into your account and then somebody comes to you and says says, "By the way, I want to give you something tremendous." I want to give you something. Here's a dime. Here's a dime. How is the person going to take to the dime? Obviously, I mean, you have to remember 1956 a dime wasn't like today. Dime was probably like $5. I mean, it's it's not 300 million, but a dime today, a dime, like uh stop insulting me. But a dime wasn't nothing, right? I think you could buy you could buy a slice of pizza with a dime. You could certainly buy a newspaper with a dime. You could buy I remember think buying things with a dime. A telephone call was a nickel or even less. So a dime you can make two telephone calls from a public vote. It wasn't nothing. So that's why the gave the example of a dime. Today you would give you know $50 bill. What do how does he look at this dime? How does he look at it? And the answer is fine. Okay. But you can't compare it. He has $300 million and here he has a dime. Where is he going to put his focus? Right? If he's if somebody says I want one of the two things, which one is he going to give away? The dime or the $300 million? He can't even compare. So the said this is the marshall. What's the nim? Nimsh is like this. When you do a mitzvah or you learn tyra or you're involved in a hashem, you're actually experiencing a connection with you're becoming one with infinity. What does the ego do? The ego gives you a dime. Okay? So the dime is a dime. You can't take away the dime. But just remember what to focus on. The dime is a dime. But relative to the to the true experience of what's happening, remember the context. Don't forget perspective. And then even if you're getting very very impressed by the dime, you won't let it carry you carry you away and and trap you and hijack you because you discern the difference between the two. That's the that's the theme. So Rabbi Khadakov called in and he told us over to the B and Tak wrote it down and it's printed it's printed in the B said he added that years years later I think a few decades later he was sitting at a fabang I think he said sukus but I don't remember and he told over the story as he told over the story somebody starts arguing with him he I think he didn't remember if it was a nickel Akad the guy said the said a quarter. >> He said, >> "Huh?" Oh, he said a nickel. There was a different Maybe said a nickel and this guy said a dime. It was a change. So says, "N a nickel." Said, "No, a dime." He's arguing. So says, "I don't understand. I heard it from Rabbi Khadakov the next day. I heard it from Rabbi Khadakov the next day in the name of the deba. What are you arguing with me? He says, "Yeah, but I was the younger man." He He He was the He was the guy in the room. He was the guy with the ego issues. He says, "I'm telling you what happened." So he says he doesn't know if the Reb said it over differently to Rabbi Khadakov or Rabbi Khadakov maybe made the mistake that he doesn't know, but the guy said, "I'm telling you what the Reb said because I was in the room wasn't in the room." Yeah. I heard the story years ago from him and the truth is I didn't understand what was the so much the depth of the story fine I was I heard the vart as I get a little old as I get I get a little older not hopefully not too much older the truth is this simple story contains in it extremely profound advice because it's very real didn't tell him you're gonna get rid of your ego you're not you're gonna have it and it's going to hijack you and it's going to come in in very holy moments and it's going to capture the moment and it will try to hijack you. That's that's the fact. Yeah. And you need to know that you're not in the the level of where you're completely transformed and everything is aligned with with the oneness of God. But as long as you can identify the distinction between the two prizes, the two trophies, and therefore which one you're going to follow, which one you're going to invest in, which one you're going to spend time with, and which one you're going to choose to live with to saturate your system. Yeah. So, it's literally somebody in the one hand is giving me a $300 million check and somebody's giving me a or a nickel or a dime, whatever it is. For our purpose, it's all the same. It could even be a $100 bill. To say $100 means nothing. It's not true. It's a lie. $100 is something. I'm not going to take $100 bill and tear it up. Nobody I don't No normal person is going to do that. Certainly not $1,000. You say it's nothing. It's something. And a certain part of us gets excited. If somebody doesn't have anything else, this becomes right for a person who has nothing. $100 could be a lifesaver. Gives you a couple of meals. I don't know how many meals you can have today with it, but a couple of meals you can have. So you can't underestimate it. And you can't make believe it's nothing. But when you compare the two, you appreciate this is a this is eternal and this ultimately is it is what it is. But it doesn't have real depth. Doesn't have real value. So what the Reb was telling him is for a moment don't stop what you're doing. Just remember, put it all in context. This is this and this is this. It reminds me there was a story I once heard about Anipali of Anipoli you know he was a brother of his yard was now Bat passed away asked two people on the two students of the magulum of Anapal he's buried near the mag of Mis they say a story about him very interesting story there was once a woman and somebody gave her was a huge amount of money for a wedding of a daughter. It was sadduck cuz she was a poor woman, a widow. Anyway, she was walking in the street. She lost it and she was frantic. The poor woman was screaming, "Did anybody find this bag of money? It was whatever it was, 5,000 rubble, whatever the number was. I don't know, a nickel, a dime, but it was a it was a lot a lot of money." And the poor woman was bereff. She was a poor person. She was povertystricken. So, she's begging, "Anybody find? Anybody find?" And nobody found it. it was lost or was stolen whatever it is saw this. So he went over to her and he himself was known as an uniod. He was a very poor man and he tells her I found the money. I found the money and he goes and he asks her for her sim all the signs and she gives her the signs and sure enough abracadabra could do says that's mam is what I found and he gives her this amount of money now the truth is as you can guess he didn't find her money he didn't need any sim he went and he took money that he had his own last money and he gave it her but he told her he found the money. Nope. Everybody suspected what's happened was this the story of the town. You know this was everybody talk spoke about and every understood they understood that he was he was being a sadic and he saw this anyways goes gives her the money and then comes back to her and he says listen you know I didn't have to give it back to you I gave it back to you but I want commission I want commission I want 50% commission she started to scream you're a gunfist And everybody started to scream at him and she said, "I'm taking you to the rough. I'm taking you to there." And this now became the talk of the town. Finds the money. He wants 50%. The poor woman has nothing. 50% he wants comes to the Ra. Posins that it's disgusting and he has to give everything away to her. He gave everything away. One of his students said, "Reb I know the real story. Why did you have to do that second half? I don't understand. the whole thing was a gift from you. He said, I'll tell you. Talk about a person who works on himself. He said, I gave her the money. It was my money that I gave her away and I felt very good about doing it. And then suddenly I felt that the ego is hijacking the entire experience. It was such a pure experience. It was such a beautiful moment of connecting to truth and everything is being lost. And I'm like, "Oh my god, what am I supposed to do?" So I did this. I asked for 50% commission. The threw me out like a narcissistic. So now I'm a I gave her the whole money. I'm considered a narcissist. There's absolutely no The ego is shattered. Now I can actually enjoy what I did. That's what he said. It's very important in life. We have to understand this. Whenever people wonder people sitting in this room who do a lot of inner work and wherever you get to a deep place suddenly you will see it gets hijacked by very very uh what's the word by very uh negative or egotistical or very unholy forces and it almost proves to you that you're so unworthy it delegitimizes everything and you have to realize it's the opposite. It's not the case. Like the Reb said, don't get confused. You just connected to it's a real thing. You're real. God is real and you connected. Connection is real. Whenever there's holiness, the kipa is going to jump in to hijack it. That's how it is. Says in parmini, it is he speaks about he says bees come with his honey and robbers don't steal from poor people. They go to the bank. Why do you go to a bank? Because the bank is where there's money. Kipo doesn't come to places where there's no holiness. It comes to places where there's holiness. And where there's more holiness, there's going to be more potential and more vulnerability to be hijacked. On the contrary, that's what said if I wouldn't have given if he wouldn't have given away the money would have been an issue. He said fine you gave away so much money suddenly the wants to come and say ah this is my moment. Look at you're unbelievable. There's nobody like you. A selfless holy for generations they're going to talk about you for then of course right right here. The worst thing is when you start identifying with your clip of that that's the exclusive story. It's part of my inner battle. It's not the story. So the Reb said somebody gave you a dime. Okay put it in your pocket. I don't care if you deposit it but don't make that your story. Don't go there. You don't have to identify with it. It's extremely deep because the kipa is so powerful. It wants us to identify with it. This is who I am. I know it in my own life. I think many of us can relate to this. Sometimes we're involved. I'm involved in good things, holy things, sacred things. I could sometimes finish a shar. And the shar is very moving. It's moving to me. It's moving to others. And I could see and I thank Hashem for the energy. And then suddenly the the insecurity, the ego, the the skeletons, what the animal consciousness is called in Tanya. That's a good word for everything. Nef Shabbah's kipa comes in and wants to hijack it. Somebody comes over to me and says, "This changed my life." And the kipa comes in and says, "Take five minutes. Pause." Right? Pause. And just take the take take that in. Right? Take the credit. Take take the credit. Get that let that validation fill you up for the day. Let that validation fill you up. What does it do? Comes into a beautiful moment. Wants to hijack it. So the Reba says, "Fine. You just got a dime. There's 300 million bucks and there's a dime. Now, choose where you want to be. Where do you want to spend time? You could spend time with the fact, wow, what a what a merit to be a channel for Hashem. What a merit to be in a state of ayen, a state of no thingness. You're a channel for every one of us in our own avoid. Or I can go into that hijacker and literally invest all my eggs in a basket that's worth 10 cents. and get validation from a dime, from owning a dime, which is going to last usually for 12 minutes because a dime gets spent very, very fast. And here we're not talking about 300 million. We're talking about something that's eternal. Does it exist? It exists. It exists. Know it, see it, identify it, and call it by a name. and then decide where you're going to invest your time, your energy, your resources, your love, your connection, what you're going to focus on and realize, yeah, this is one of the kids playing in the sandbox who needs a little attention. And that's how he works. And Anipoli nails it when he says in the greatest of moments, that's when more more clip is going to go in than other moments. This can happen in the middle of an amazing davenining, in the middle of learning, in the middle of connection with your spouse, with your children, in the middle of any type of work where you're elevated, where you elevate others, where you bring light to the world in any form. It could right there come in and it drives people crazy. And those who are sensitive, it really drives them crazy because they're looking for purity. They want to be pure. And here you see purity, purity, purity. Well, you're one big mess, right? So correction, you're not one big mess. Inside is a part that yeah is still getting very very affected by this. There's still work to do. Okay, welcome to the club. There's still work to do. Somebody sent me was a beautiful that comes from. So over there in chapter one, he speaks about Hashem and he praises Hashem. So he has all these different praises for Hashem. One of the things he says about hem is God is content with what he has. Interesting expression about you wouldn't think that God we never knew that says about a wealthy person has contentment with what he has. He's not always busy incessantly trying to compete with others because then you're crazy. You're you're completely without serenity. Hashem is so uh there's a cafer with which has a mishna. It's a commentary from the vagon that's collected from different sources of his commentary on it's not a safer he wrote it's collected from different sources and this is from a that was written by the son of things he heard from his father. So the he springs over there that who was this vagon student went into the vilon he said he cannot understand his what does it mean is what does it mean he's content with his lot like what does that mean like what he could take more if he wants like what's so he said means that he's he's happy and content with the people with the Jewish people in this time of history Even if he could compare it to other generations and say eh it's nothing there's nothing worth it's not it's worth nothing he says no means he cherishes and celebrates the contribution and the authenticity of any generation of Jews and that's what is it's very easy to compare and be there's a verse from the actually brings in they built a mime on this says it says in As you lay between the lips, you lie between the lips. The says that the is referring to Hashem that Hashem waits between a person's lips and every word that comes out of his mouth, every word of every word of ding, every word of every word of goodness, he like says he he embraces the word and he kisses it and he hugs it and he celebrates it and he's overwhelmed by it. says that's the meaning the Gmorra says in Giten that the humility of there's a whole story there with the end of the story and said that the humility of destroy the so says that sometimes people's personal gets destroyed because of their humility and he explains what do I mean by humility humility is how much they cannot give themselves any credit. They don't respect their energy. They delegitimize themselves completely. So the rebba says in the vintage if the humility of destroyed the bd. So what rebuilds the bikdash? The opposite when a person has confidence in their own inner power in their own inner relationship with hashem. Now what does that mean in a very real sense? What does that mean practically? probably one of the greatest plagues of our generation at least I can speak for myself but I think it's true for many of us is that deep down in a very deep place I'm not talking about cliches or what we say in public and all the good videos and clips of Rabbi Hway and very many other good people who give say encouraging words but I'm talking in a very primal um energetic space very very primal energetic space if you relate to what I'm saying good if not it's fine but if you relate to it you relate to it in a very very deep place there is a shame. There's a deep deep shame almost a sense of inadequacy that penetrates to the core and it confuses honesty and authenticity with complete delegitimization of the person being a channel for Hashem in this world. There's a difference between being honest and authentic and vulnerable about my flaws, about my insecurities, about my blockages, about my blind spots, about my wounds, about my desperation, about my survival templates, about my coping mechanisms, and all the adjectives you want to add. That's extremely important. Extremely important because without that, you live unconsciously your whole life. And some of us do that very well. We live unconsciously. And even worse than living unconsciously is thinking that I'm living consciously and telling other people how to telling other people how to live consciously when I'm completely in a coma emotionally speaking. But don't confuse that with the totality of the experience. In other words, that's it. There is all there is is a shameful human being who is wretched, who is despicable, who is manipulative and opportunistic. Did I say that right? Opportunistic. Is there a peace in me that's opportunistic? Of course there is. Welcome. Welcome to America and to the world. Reb says in that every person has a divine soul and an animal soul. And the animal soul carves out its survival mechanism of how to survive. And one of the things it does is it's opportunistic. It's opportunistic. The garra says in chickens are the most of birds. So I never knew what the Gumar has against chickens. What what do they want from chickens? I know chickens from Kaparas and they don't have any unfortunately I wish they would have some over there by Kaparus. They're completely subdued by the Kaparis production thing. But then Hashem helped and for a particular reason I got chickens in my backyard. It's one of the advantages of living in Muny versus Brooklyn. And now I deal with the chickens on a daily basis. And suddenly I see they're opportunistic and they're tough. In other words, they see an opportunity. Boom. They seize the moment. They jump the moment. That's what a good healthy nefa does. It's opportunistic. It can get a little credit. It can get a little attention. It get a little money, a little power. Fine. Good. And it's important to know that. It's important to be authentic. But then comes the complete delegitimization. When the person cannot be in touch with their own spiritual divine energy. When we stop. We don't believe. Not because we don't believe. We believe it. Everybody believes it. Says in today everybody quotes it. Nobody has a problem with that. In its day there were philosophers who said not let us say that a soul is that means hem has parts. Okay. But that there was a big Jewish philosopher his name was Manasha wrote a called Nishmas. So he attacks the term somebody once wrote a letter to the said was a philosopher and in the world of philosophy his questions are important which was written by he did not know about the world of Kabala. So it's too you have to know about the world of Kabala the terminology of Kabala etc. But today nobody has an issue with saying but between saying it and embodying it experiencing it is two different worlds completely two different worlds so this simple answer but very profound answer that was giving that night to this young man he was really saying that I could see your it's real I want you to be able to see it and I want you to know that when you're engaged in that frequency you are channeling infinity in this world. You're channeling Hashem who's right now through you in this world. And there's no greater deeper intimate experience and bliss and truth than that. The fact that the clip is going to jump in right here, right right now, jump in and try to hijack it and say, "Oh, you're a good guy. You're really good. People really like you. You're amazing." Okay. So, what did it do? It just gave you a dime. Okay. Look at it and say, "You know what? Thank you for the dime. Thank you for the dime. I'm going to add it to the bank account. Right? They said there was a teacher who once told Mr. Rothschild, if I would be you and I would have your money, I would be richer. So he said, "How?" He says, "I wouldn't quit teaching." So besides having Rothschild's money, I would also make sure that I have my teaching job. Okay? Right. So I got my dime. So take your dime and deposit it in the bank. And don't let anybody steal that dime because if they steal that dime, I'll kill them. But nothing nothing could come close to to to that truth. I think I said in one of the classes, a mentor of mine once shared with me something and I think it probably sums up this point. He said to me, it was it it it touched me because the truth of it it's very very real. At least it was it meant a lot for me. He said to me as follows. He said even if you will if even if your ego will achieve every goal it craves every single goal it craves literally it will achieve every goal it craves physically emotionally psychologically socially spiritually he said you'll have a video not with three million views but with 7 billion views theoretically I know there's no seven billion people with internet but and your ego will look and say wow and all the money power whatever your ego needs whatever your ego needs and It's there and it got it even. He says you still will have not scratched the surface of your true greatness. You will not have scratched the surface of your true greatness. Because the true greatness, yours, mine, or anybody is bittsen. What'sin? Ayin is not nothingness but nothingness. It's the ability to be a channel for that greatness the dime can't even come close to its entire power is what to build something that doesn't really exist. It takes something that doesn't really exist which is our separateness those who learn the daily today's chapter 22. So what does say that the Gmorrah says in that arrogance is mamish like idolatry and says why I believe in God I may even have a shir I may give a lot of sodaka I'm a good guy why why is it I'm not a paganist I don't worship idolatry I believe in God I worship God I do God's will why so I'm an arrogant person I have an ego Oh. So what? That's question. What does answer okay? It's enough. So doesn't mean idolatry doesn't begin with the fact that I worship a statue as god. There is that element of is he says two words the primary essence and the root of a is words that you really believe in a deep visceral way that you're separate from Hashem. I'm lonely. I'm broken. I'm detached. Ego easing God out. Easing greatness out. easing God out. I'm broken. I'm lonely. Now, the ego says, "You're broken and lonely. Let me make you something. I'll I'll I'll I'll turn you into a success story." Whatever that means. Everyone has their success story. This one in the religious world. This one in the secular world. This one with physicality. This one with spiritual. This one becomes the greatest entrepreneur or tycoon. This one becomes the greatest rabbi. This one becomes the greatest therapist. One becomes the greatest dentist. Just well, I don't know some other stuff. I wanted to say musician, but then I looked at you and like you're not the best poster boy for right. So it it it takes literally my brokenness. What's what's the what's the why do we love so much? Because without the ego is like a serious guy and you have to like break the ego. Then comes and says it's like just feel bad. Like the ego takes something that doesn't exist. and turns it into a reality and invests all of my brilliant resources to make believe it's a reality and for 95 years that's what gives me life and it could be completely in the religious world. I'll tell you a story it happened here by whatever. So uh some we were dancing about kafa. So Drew comes over to me and he says to me he says how much muser did you know the story you were there. How much muser did you learn in your life? I'm like he says you had to learn so much muser. I'm like what? I mean thank you but what what's making you say that? He says, "I saw something. I hear you." Says, "I'm the real reason you're leaving is it's about you." But shine, I hear the official reason because you have to go to the bathroom. Okay. It's a difference between people who speak about BL and people who embody it. So uh so he says that uh I heard you give a shabas shuvrasha over here in the tent and uh I was saying over and I said over a gimmor you know I like to say where it is the maramak. So I said over the marakim I think I said chabas and your son Mendel Mendel was there in the back of the tent and he said beta it's not chabas it's beta I I heard it and I imagine that that probably devastated you probably like your son publicly insults you in front of hundreds of people that you got the gamar wrong right so I looked at you and you actually you were like smile smiling. You were like so calm. And I realized you weren't faking it. And you turned to your son and you said, "You're right. It's BA and it's in Shabas. It's both." So he says, "How much muser did you have to learn not to respond with anger and not with calmness?" He wanted to know. So I looked at him and I said, "I think it's time for you to learn. I think you have to learn because I'll tell you nothing to do with me. You know, I don't even understand your question. I don't understand. Like without sometimes it's not anybody's fault, but it's like almost like a struggle with it's still a struggle because the animal still has an ego. And I know about the struggle because I have it myself. But at least from a perspective place, you know, the moment you're in touch with real energy, there's nothing there. So is the main thing of a doesn't it's not worshiping the idol as God. It's putting Hashem into a reality that's big but not me. And the truth is and that's the happiest place where a person is. The happiest place where a person is where is where I don't need to defend myself. Not because I don't exist but because my existence is channeling infinity. Imagine if in your marriage you don't have to protect yourself because your existence channels infinity. You know what type of relationship you can have? It's called infinite. Huh? So he started to learn Tanya with his wife. That's why he started to learn Tanya with his wife. Oh, I want to tell you a story. Okay, I want to tell you a story. I got this person told it to me last Thursday, but and then I was thinking about it and I thought, you know, it would be very nice to share with but I had to get his permission because it's a personal story. So I got his permission. He comes to the shurim in the morning very often and uh he's an older bakr an older bakr very talented fellow very wise deep emotionally sensitive comes from a very very prominent uh family from the from a literature background very prominent Lithuanian family and uh he shared with me the following story this Thursday this Thursday and I I asked him if I could share it with the with the crowd and he said, "Yeah." And he even wrote it up for me to be able to know it exactly. So, I'm going to tell you exactly how he wrote it to me. He says it was two and a half years ago, the summer of Tshin Pegiml. Two and a half years ago. That means the summer of 5,783. Almost three years ago. an older boy and very sensitive and deep and spiritual and emotional and also intellectually bright comes from a very very distinguished and bright family and he was struggling with different things and already getting older and he says I had a dream now he's not one of these you have people that they have dreams constantly especially middle of a shear they dream they daydream they have dreams but he's you know he's a very rational rational human being he comes from a very rational family litish very rational family and he says I had a dream and uh he doesn't come from a kabad family comes from a very prominent literature family he says I had a dream and in the dream I'm standing in the reb's room in the room of the labba in his in 770 parkour he says I was never there but I did see pictures and in the dream I saw that room I knew the room from the pictures and I'm standing in front of the rebba And I tell the Rebish and I start sobbing and I said, "I can't deal with things anymore. Life is too painful. Life is too hard and I also can't find a I'm really craving a match, a soulmate, and I can't find it's not going easy for me." And uh I'm asking the Reb, "What should I do?" So he tells me in the dream the Rebel looked at him and said three words and you should learn Tanya and then the said and make sure that you finish the whole Tanya. You finish the whole Tanya. He says the dream was so vivid. It was so real. The next morning I started to learn Tanya. First time I opened up a Tanya I started to learn Tanya. Said Tanya is not an easy book. You have to have a good teacher. You have to have a good You have to have good resource. Tanya is a very hard book. People learn it. Huh? You think it's easy >> for you? That's true. For you it's easy. That's true. >> That's true. For you it's easy. >> You also think is easy. >> Okay. So he said I started to learn but it got very hard. So then I stopped and then I resumed again and stopped you know at the end of the day it's a dream you know. So I I stopped I resumed again and uh at some point he said I started to learn the you know the way the Tanya was divided over the year people finished Tanya over a year one year but also wasn't always successful. And I went on and off a few months ago. I'm contemplating my uh situation and I realized I never did it. So I started to really take myself I I I started already but I really got in got immersed in it and I started to learn Tanya very very consistently and I decided every day I'm going to cover two days of the Tanya the ways divided in the year. So over six months I'll finish the whole Tanya because every day I'm going to learn the Shir for two days. And I was extremely extremely consistent. If I missed Shabas, I made sure to make up the next day. He says one one point I came to those who know the 20th chapter which is the fourth section of wrote this few days before he passed away. But it's the deepest it's the deepest mimer of we learned about he wrote before he passed away in pi said I got stuck there it took me a lot a lot of time because the reb to learn it had to learn it and understand it and he's a balkanian he's into understanding he doesn't just read so I really had to understand it but I uh I continued In this process, he says, I got a suggestion to meet a girl and we started to go out and there were ups and downs and there were also challenges and questions and dilemmas as there always is, you know, especially a little older. And he says that uh it was going very really really well and we decided that if we uh you know if it continues this way and things were really going well we decided a date a few weeks when we will you know finalize our propose or we would announce our engagement and she says that that he tells me at some point the shakan is the matchmaker called him and said you know that she's really the the girl is really eager to finish it so maybe you can uh do it a little earlier than you decided. and uh he met with her and they agreed and he says two weeks ago Tuesday par this is parash so not last Thursday last Thursday was when he told me the story but the Thursday before was par he says we announced that we're going to get engaged he says that morning after shakus I take a look I finished the Tanya that morning literally the morning they that she asked me to get engaged that morning I took a book and I finished the Tanya. And he said, I waited to the last paragraph after the I waited the last paragraph and I went to the oil and I learned over there the last uh the last piece of Tanya. This Jew, his name is Aaron Vulcan. His Zaha was one of the most famous Mashgim in the literature world known as Raayim Vulcan. Kaim Vulcan his grandfather was the Ra of Pinsk very very famous Rabonim in the literature world and in the last generation of Kayim Vulcan was considered one of the greatest Bali Muser and Mashkim in the litfish yeshivas and many other big yeshivas real literaturer and uh this is his grandson Iron Vulcan who's actually named after the Pinsk and he got engaged with and he told me the story Thursday so he writes to me he says I hope you understand the story that the deb wasn't giving me a so another to do to get a he was explaining to me that with learning you could be transformed as a person and you're transformed as a person everything changes including your so back to so arrogance is arrogance doesn't mean arrogance bloating I'm bloated that's not today's arrogance 2026 most people's arrogance is not I'm better than everybody you know the arrogance today what's the arrogance today the arrogance today is >> yeah I'm not better than everybody I'm worse than everybody at least for many people or certainly I'm not worse than everybody but there's quite a lot of shame there's quite a lot of darkness that's avoid why is that a desire not because we don't have it we do have it and we have to honor the fact that we have it because it's part of our journey but we have to remember one thing that that is based on the proposition that I'm separate from Hashem. I'm alone. I'm broken. I'm lonely. I'm separate. And therefore, I have to be higher than everybody or lower than everybody. Either I'm better than everybody or I'm lower than everybody. And what's the truth? The truth is you're a channel. You're the most beautiful, amazing, astounding channel. And God is standing between your lips and like wow you're sharing. Now I want you to have a little bit of a visual what the BMT believes. The Bashv believes that when Jacobson or Y Jacobson or anybody sitting here or watching or sitting or in the future is actually having a conversation with Hashem, God is like between your lips and he's like more more give me more. It's almost like somebody who's crazy about you sitting in you. I want to spend another minute with you. Another two minutes. Like, God, you don't have anybody else. Like, should I tell you what happened last night? Should I tell you what I'm dealing with? You want You want an X-ray of my psyche? What do you want? An MRI? You want a CAT scan? What do you want? You want an ultrasound? I mean, you know what's going on in my crazy brain? No, no, no. I know what's going on in your crazy. I made your brain. I made your brain. What? What is the This is not This is not ego. This is cherishing the energy that's cruising through your veins, through your arteries at this moment. If we cannot cherish that, we are completely alienated from the truth of our identity in a in an embodied way to really cherish it. This doesn't make me better than anybody else. I don't need to be it's not about better. It's about a humble vulnerable channel. So this is it. So this is what the Reb was telling this person. You have a dime, you want to deposit it, it's fine. If it's going to make you good, feel good for five minutes, no, no worries. But don't for a second let go of what's really happening. What's really happening is that you are embodying and you're channeling and you're experiencing and you're bringing to yourself and to your family and to your marriage and to your children and to the world atmosph real real truth. Real real truth. One day maybe we reach a space where we don't even look at the dime. We don't even notice it. It's so irrelevant. Okay, fine. Maybe maybe yet maybe not. There's certain moments that we have that I think we have that. But the truth always remains the truth. amazing to have you of a Aba yaba yaba. Ya. Ah yeah. I ama I am I You are ah bye-bye. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. IA Yeah. Yaba. Come on, listen. Yeah. High am I Start again. I want to tell you before we continue, people don't always appreciate the nigun. Every in here was written from people who were living with alus. They were living with godliness. The tells a story that when published that's 1796 came to him and they said we don't understand. So Dr. said, "You're missing the second half. You're missing the second half." They said, "What's the second half?" And he said, "Nigginina music." You hear? He said, "Of course you don't understand, Tanya. You're missing the second half. You're missing nigina. You're missing music. You're missing song." This is a niggan from Nikoliah. Nikolia is Ukraine's, a city where the Reb was born. Listen to the niggan. Staraba yaba. I am I am I I am I am I am I Yeah, I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I am I am I am Yeah. Oh yeah. I love are you know you Say oh yo yo Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am Ah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Hey y'all. I high am I very So, we have to say again. How are we doing over there? Huh? >> It's nice to be in the audience. Yeah. Huh. It's nice. Nice. It says, "You know what the speakers say about that?" Yeah. Gave him a whole Muslim speech. Why he burnt the the goat gave? Yeah. For the first time, Mosha heard every time Mosha was talking talking. It's nice to listen. One day I'm going to do that too. One day. One day. He fell very ill once. He had a stroke and his speech became very very impered. It was very hard for people to understand him. So he had a his name was he was the So he heard he says the world became so crude so brute that they can't understand anymore that's what he said I heard this story After that had a stroke. I remember somebody said this story how defined it. So there was once your wasaben 1960 I heard last week the recording was before I was born. The Reb started over the Fabangan that that Fabian and then a few years later which we learned to see at the Bosani also started over the Fabang the same way with a with an insight from the BMT the BM once said and actually the source of this is from the Maharan the Rebi used to say this very very often and the sources of breast was a great grandson of the balshman's mother was Fagger and Fagger's mother was Adul and Adul was was the daughter of the BM. So was a great grandson of the Bamblman brings a bal said like this. It says you're going to give a and means a verdict means a calculation as first is then first you make the calculation and then you get to the din. You don't have a den before right. It's like the den is the sum total. First you have to go through all the checks and balances and all the input and output all the revenue all the expenses and then you come to the den and everything first and then a what's after the den is no before the that's the question good question asks it a lot of a lot of asked this question and then the says there's also the exact payment from a person consciously and unconsciously which one is it with his das or without his das with his knowledge. So the BMP said as follows that the Reb said this over from the Maharan from the from his grand great-grandfather the Bosch that the BMT answered and explained as follows that whenever a person has to be judged they're not they can't just be judged. The only person who can decide the verdict of what should happen with you is you. So what do they do? They present to you a scenario from somebody else's life and they ask you to give the verdict. What should be the verdict for that person for that case? And you give a verdict very comfortably. And after you make the now they make a and they say oo this is exactly what happened to you. So now you gave the verdict on yourself. It's consciously but it's unconsciously. It's consciously because you think you're talking about somebody else. because it's unconsciously because you're really talking about yourself which as you know in it's truth in all of life any opinion anybody ever says about anybody else you're just sharing who they are nothing else that's what I've learned nobody ever shares anything about anybody else you have opinions opinions opinions all you're telling me is who you are and And the said the bash says and this is brought in that it's really it's not a it's really a whole a whole chapter in you know the verb the whole chapter is this where David after David did the whole story with the says that says hanovi came to to and he said I want to tell you a story the story is there was a rich man and there was a poor man and the rich man had many many animals and a poor and a guest came to see him and he was hungry. So the rich man went to the poor man and the poor man only had one sheep and he took his sheep and he slaughtered it and that's what he gave to the guest. Instead of taking his own animals, he had an abundance of animals. He stole the sheep from the poor man. He had only one sheep. He slaughtered it and that's what he gave to his guest. He didn't want to give his own animals. And he asked David, "What's your opinion about this man?" And David was not very complimentary about this man. And said, "Well, you are this man. You're the king. You have whatever you want. And there's one girl Bashva and she belongs to And that's the sheep you have to steal for yourself. And the verdict that you gave for that person is a verdict that you gave for yourself. And David said to God, I don't understand what's what what's a drama. We learned all about stories. Everything has to be a story. Just come to David and say this is despicable. This is un immoral. This is horrible. This is disgusting. This is repulsive. And this is what God says about you. No, he has to ask him a whole fictional story and then give gives the verdict. This is you're the man. Says this is the whole that nothing can happen to David if he doesn't give the verdict. So therefore, but if you tell him about himself, people are not going to give verdicts because we're biased. So you tell him a story about another person. He gives the den and then you make a so it's but it's really about another person about himself of the sobb said if this is true with negative things how much more true is the positive things how much more so positive things whenever ever a story comes to you and you judge a person you're not judging another person you're judging yourself every day we get stories we have situations we don't even realize but every moment of my life there's an opportunity my wife that's the biggest one my children my grandchildren my sibling anybody anybody wow you see their behavior and I give a judgment I give a den the reason God hashem put in these circumstances into my life is not to talk about them what's my business nobody can ever change anybody else the only person you could change is yourself and even that's pretty hard the only reason is because every situation is another way of bringing out my truth concerning myself. That's the said he says it's known also said when you touch when you touch something essential no matter how small a piece you touch you have everything if you touch things that are not essential there could be fragmentations but if you're touching any any part of it has everything the greatest example for this is today in our generation we have DNA DNA you don't have to take something from the brain you could take saliva you could take a strand of here you could take a most external part but if you're touching the etsum which is the DNA is you have the entire composition the entire manual for the entire organism which is incredible because you're touching whenever you get to a smallest part has everything so he said people who live with their people who live with their essence meaning they're completely integrated they're completely have internalized what their mission in the world is which is very unique like the any saying that comes out of their mouth reflects their so from any line of theirs you can be so there's not a single insight from the bump from which you don't know the entire that's what a real person is you have three types of you have a kit you have a pim you have an aen is a con artist we don't deal with that or we try not to deal with that I mean we deal with it but it's not where we want to be. A pin is an authentic person. Ansmi is somebody who's always in aligned with their with their essence. So when the bump said something it reflected his if it reflected his so even one vart is so the said then any from the bump you can hear one and you have everything. It's like DNA give me a strand of here I just need one strand of here but it has everything. It has the whole organism. And that's this is true about every atmi you can hear in it and you right away hear everything you don't have to hear one once heard from Khan he said all you need in life is you only have to learn one mime says in one mime is enough to create you to become a mench to be a created person to recreate it he says but then he told us ain't But to understand one mime, you have to learn another thousand. So the thousand you need to understand one to be able to internalize it. But it's one. It's Yeah. Because that's the truth. The truth is you only have to hear one line, one vers. It's fine. It's good. It's very true. One, you don't need a lot. But sometimes to get to that mime to get to that DNA of of the world you have to work work a lot. Where do you see? So the said it looks like it looks like a nice v from the cute from the bump. Where's the of the he said the truth is this this line captures the whole essence of the because what the bump is really saying is that nobody can tell you where to go. No malak, no bestden shila. Nobody. The only person who can create the destiny of where you're heading is you. Nobody could. Bez anddon shila. You have the greatest angels. Let them decide what the verdict is. No. The only one who can create the trajectory of your life, the author of your biography is only you. In this world and in the next world. How is that? Why? The answer is because the is that a a soul is a it's and just like nobody can be a master over God and tell God where to go. Deep down when you know who you are, nobody can tell you where to go. The only one who can tell you where even Hashem won't tell you where to go. The only one who's going to tell you where to go is you. That's the bump. They're going to figure out how you're going to tell them where they should go. They're going to figure it out. Don't worry. But you're you're going to be the only one because when you're in touch with that deepest level of energy of yourself, you are not just in a position of power, but you're channeling all the power and therefore you will be the only one who will define the journey and the destiny. So before a verdict can be given, they have to consult with you. David is the one who has to say everything. Why? What's why and the answer is because he has and because you have the the central of hem and it's channeled through you. So therefore in that sense you're the one who really needs to find that mastery in many ways you know of those who learned basilani this year that was the whole point that in your independence in your abandonment that's where you're going to find your real power. You are source you're looking for the source to save you. You are the source. You are the per. You are the source. You are the source. As we explained that length in the mime, we're looking save me. Help me. Connect me. I want something else. You are it. You're it. The student is looking for his teacher to save him. You you are the master. You you are it. And this is the most humbling experience also because it's not you as ego. You in this place there's no ego in this place. It's complete complete oneness. Huh? Light. Yeah. Real light. Real. Yeah. So, and he brought another from the to describe this. The once said, it says, you always play that song, right? So, what's the meaning of the words? It's a prayer for a poor man. when he envelops himself in prayer before he pours out his words says there's something much deeper of the poor man is that is his prayer his prayer is that I want to talk to God and the says why he says other people have other prayers they have other prayers and he gives an example when you go to the king the king invites everybody to come to him. So you go from your littleetle where you are and you come to the capital city and in the capital city there's so many attractions. It's such a beautiful city. First of all, there's a trolley, there's stores, there's malls, there is culture, there's sophistication, there's opera houses, there's concert houses, there's museums, there's universities, there's hospitals. And the Reb said, "You can get so drunk." That was his words. You get so drunk from the capital city. And then there are those who say, "No, I'm here to go to the king." So they go to the palace. You come to the palace. It's amazing. First of all, the art and the diamonds, the crown jewels, the museums, and you have the food and the drinks. Whoever saw such richness, such royalty, such aristocracy. He says that anybody who has any sensitivity for for richness for for culture for for sophistication for for good for they called finemeckers. They know they don't make it to the king because there's too many good things to inebriate you to hijack you precisely because you're spiritually sensitive. You can get consumed by the capital city and by the aristocracy and by the palace and by the royalty and by all of the departments and displays that the king displays. And then comes the poor person who's deprived of all the sophistication. He says no no I want to go straight to the source. I want to go to the source. He asks just to be with Hashem. nothing else. And he gives them gives them the marshall. The king made a day that everybody could come see him. But everybody got stuck in all of the attractions because he had a whole floor of the most amazing food and the most amazing drinks, the most amazing music, library, crown jewels, and he couldn't resist it. There was only one guy on he knew nothing. And he's the only guy who made it all the way into the king. And that's where he remained because he was an theb said then because of his brokenness because he's an oni he has no he doesn't even have holy tus because he was humbled by life. He's an oni and because he was humbled by life so therefore he doesn't also paradoxically get distracted by anything. He goes straight to the core straight to the source. He allows his pure essence to shine and to remain connected to the ultimate essence. And then the deba illustrated it and he said that in life it's extremely pos it's very very possible to get distracted by other attractions. Sometimes it's very physical things, but sometimes it's very spiritual things. On the contrary, somebody who's spiritually sensitive, there's so many things that can distract you because they're really, really inspiring. They're really enthralling. So, you have somebody who's very physical and it's physical things that attract them and they get distracted by that. For one person, a fancy restaurant just enthrals them. Another person, it's a drink. Another person, it's a new phone, a new satska, a new watch, a vacation, whatever it is. and they really get very excited and for 10 minutes maybe a half an hour I don't know maybe a month a week it gives them some form of satisfaction but then there are spiritually sensitive people they actually get very very enthralled by spiritual energy by spiritual sensitivity because they actually they're for it so the said don't remember and the said in the this This is the said a Jew says it's enough for me. I'm happy in those who know a little bit of is the world where everything is one. It's the world where Hashem's oneness is felt and experienced in it's called it's a world of no corruption. It's a world of purity. It's a world of authenticity. It's a it's a world of oneness. It's called so says I'm happy with why do I have to go further? Why you pushing me as he put it then into I'm fine with I'm fine. I'm really fine. But the Reb said the MS is this was his you were created for something much greater. I'm going to quote is good for If you were an angel, if you're one of the if you're one of the if you're one of the is amazing for you, but you're not that. You have to know who you are. You're so till you don't touch atmos, you're going to be depriving yourself from everything that you really are. You were created for much greater. It's not going to do the work for you. You have to know who you are. You must know who you are. And to know this, you have to surrender everything else because everything else is going to undermine it. Not only everything else physically, we're talking about spiritual stuff, not physical stuff. Physical stuff might come. There's no way a person could connect to anything real if they're addicted to dirt. That's that's a given. That's a given. That's the first thing where you have to master it. If you're spending part of your day with gossip, with with uh with uh with how do you say they have a word in English or the whole English is huh? It's not politics. It's whatever. >> Never mind. If you're not careful, if you're not careful between issues with between men and women, if you're not careful, if you're not careful with all these things, then your soul, the soul gets very, the soul is very sensitive. You have to realize this. Whenever says in I learned this the hard way, so I'm not I'm not preaching to you as a lecture. I know this. I made all the mistakes. I speak from experience. Whenever says in that every time you eat, there's no middle ground. Either you're connecting to Hashem or you're distancing yourself from reality. It's not a joke. It's reality. I used to think when I I would learn I grew up with Tanya and I would think why is he so tough is so tough like leave me alone. Can I just have an ice cream? Like big deal, right? It's hard enough to be Jewish with everything else. Like a pistol fagin a piece of cheesecake shop this morning. You know once told, huh? You remember the MSA whenever was arrested was arrested 1798. So it says in it's good to wait till the wrath. So ran away and he went in where they not going to suspect. So he went into a club a nightclub. Now I know in lea what type of nightclubs they had. I don't think it was so or Tribeca nightclubs but it was a lea nightclub. Whatever that looked like it was for the Russian peasants. Alterba went there. He knew nobody's going to suspect that the Balatanya is going to be in a nightclub, right? Even you wouldn't suspect that Alterba would be there. So he was safe over there. And who went with him? Monus. In the morning he was there a whole night. They came to arrest him. It was a serious thing. So he asked Monus if he should give himself in. How long is he supposed to stay in this club? Forever. Mona said, "Give yourself in." Dr. said, "Why?" said, he said like this. If you're a real rabbi, if you're the real thing, a bullet won't catch you, won't get you. If you're not a realb, you actually deserve to be imprisoned. Reb was surprised is talking to him. He said, With what right did you deprive hundreds of thousands of Jews from their gishmak inhaz with he transformed everything if you're not real if you it's not the real thing you're the worst criminal in the world you think there's other criminals you're the criminal first of all you hear how a real speaks to a realb right if you're the real thing don't worry Don't worry about it. You're good. You're safe. And if not, you deserve it. And listen to him. Gave himself in. And he was imprisoned. And it was quite serious. And then came of the So, it seems very strict. Like he basically says every piece of food you eat, there's no middle ground. Either you're going into alignment or you're going into separation. It seemed to me always like why be so tough with people. Then with my own evolution at least a little bit, I realized he's he's the kindest person. He's just describing reality. You want to live in denial, you can live in denial. What do they say? Denial is not only a river in Egypt. It's part of people's lives. You want to live in denial, you can live in denial. You want to live in reality. I'm here for you. I'm going to give you reality. Reality is that there's real energy. There's a hierarchy. Mulvad is a reality. There's the God. There's your divine soul which channels God. It's plugged in. There's the animal soul and the body which is a container for the divine soul which is a container for Hashem. If you know that hierarchy, you're a healthy person. If not, you cuckoo. You want to be cuckoo. You could be cuckoo. It's fine. It's fine. But you have to know every time I eat, it could be a piece of watermelon, it could be a kishka, it could be a piece of meat. Either I'm in mindfulness I'm present. And when I'm present, the food becomes holy. And if I'm not present, it becomes another distraction for my trauma. That's it. There's no middle ground. True. You're an addiction specialist. I'm not. It's true. This is the truth. It's brutal, but it's kind. It's kind. It's telling people the reality. There's no such a thing. There's no sexuality. There's no conversation. There's no phone time. Either you're going into alignment or you're going into disconnection. Either you're miserable. What What's the line? Either you're busy living or you're busy dying. That's what the brilliant people say. Either you're busy living or you're busy dying. There's no middle ground. Either you're going into and could be with everything. Das could be with a cup of wine and vas could be with a a salad and vas could be with a conversation with somebody and with dealing with money or you're going into disconnection. It's one of the two means every moment could be an intimate moment. Now, do we fall? We all fall. We fail. We stumble. That's part of life. We stumble. We fail. We have setbacks. But that's the truth. So, how do we get into this? No. >> Oh, so he said if you were a mala this is amazing. If not you're hearing what I'm saying. You're not going to get this anywhere. Nowhere you could go anywhere in the world. You're not gonna get this. If I was if you were a mal, you can do it. It's beautiful. But you have to know who you are. And if you don't know who you are, you'll never be able to live who you are. Now, it's not easy. Probably the hardest thing in life is to make peace with who you are. You know that to make peace with who you are. I would say that many of us our whole life we do brilliant things just to avoid facing who we are. And what I just said was true at least for some of us. We brilliantly will come up with amazing schemes to avoid who we are and sometimes in very beautiful ways. Not in bad negative ways but very beautiful ways. So the point is like this. When it comes to issues of surah, you have to be clean. If you don't really take control of everything in your relationships, in your intimate life, in your conversations, in your schedule, you're not going to be able to feel your soul. It would be nice to be able to say you could dance on two weddings. You can't dance at two weddings. Like said, either you serve God or you serve the bal either you're part of corruption or you're part of truth. There's nothing in the middle. Either you're a channel for authenticity or you become a messenger of the devil. Forgive me. Am I right or wrong? >> You got to serve something. People say, "I'm neutral. I don't serve anybody." You're no such a thing. Either you're channeling the truth or you're an accomplice to the devil. Maybe in a very sophisticated, brilliant, silent way. But who are you? What are you? What do you represent? It's not so easy to come to this place. It's not so easy. I never I didn't understand this always. Today I understand it a little more. People don't realize what a sadic is. what is people think is you know we hear about their greatness don't people don't realize the internal work of they understood if there's even a slightest agenda of ego and manipulation you contaminate everybody who's connected to you do you understand the the the the the depth of responsibility there's no such a thing you could trust me most of the Okay, you could trust me. We're so insecure. We're so fragmented. The truth is, it's not anybody's fault. We're traumatized. We put our eggs in many baskets. There's no such thing as putting your eggs in many baskets. Maybe it's good for investments. I'm not an expert. You'll ask the investment experts. When it comes to to to realness, you don't put eggs in many baskets. You don't have many fathers. Somebody who has many fathers is called a mamzer. People run around. They have this. have 100 rebas. There's a word for it. It's called amzer. Who are you? Who are you? Either you're a channel for or you're just busy finding another form of satisfaction. So the truth is when we don't feel a real truth, we have to do that because like yeah, I put my eggs here, I put my eggs here, I put my eggs here, maybe you'll be good for today. It's like in a marriage, somebody who's every day they're running somewhere else. That's not a mar. You can't be married like that. Either you're loyal or you're not loyal. You're not loyal 99%. I once had there's no such thing half pregnant. You ever heard a woman say I'm half pregnant? Men know how to say I'm half what's half pregnant? Women know that there's no such thing half pregnant. That's the problem. Men have to learn understand that there's no such thing. You're half you're half married half. When you're one month pregnant, you're not half pregnant. you're pregnant. And when you're nine months pregnant, you're not you're you're pregnant. You are pregnant. It's called presence. It's called being somewhere. Now, being somewhere is hard because in a spineless world of crazy wounds, I'm just looking for soothers and anything that can numb me, I'm going to I'm going to numb with it. And we don't even know that there's something else. But the truth is there is something else. There's something called truth. this MS. So that's what Mon told alter. If you're the real thing, I'm not worried for you. And if you're not, who are you going to pay the price? Because you took the innocence of people and you played with it. And when you play with the innocence of people, if you don't play with, if you tell people, I'm a corrupt leader like everybody else, no problem. I like money. You like money. You know the story with the kazin. Yeah. You know, here's the ma. There was a kazin. He was a con artist and he came to town and there was a bunch of amaratum. Nobody knew anything and he needed money. So he told him that based on the calendar today, tomorrow is yam kipper. So he said, "Oh, we need a" and he said and he thought I'll make some money for yam kipper. Anyway, middle of his a guy in the back says, "You're a lawyer. It's not." So he starts doing a he says, I came to a city where everybody is ignorant. I told them today half is mine, half of the money will be yours. The whole world was in the whole sh was inspired and the guy knew he's getting 50% of commission. He's good to go. And when people see this, so their trauma, their inadequacy and their insecurity builds and builds and builds and builds because this is what they see. So this is why Hashem was Hashem gave us that there's real people. Maybe not many, but there's real people and they were meal real things. And your innocence could connect there. And when your innocence connects to it, everything changes because then you channel an energy that everybody is looking for. You can feel, you can sense the presence of innocence. So you have to know the truth is telling you that nothing is going to satisfy you. You could run from today till tomorrow. You could run and get every kib in the world. You can also get every spiritual gift in the world. But if it's not if it's not the gill of it's not going to speak to you. It's not it's going to it's going to be another transactional manipulative exploitative experience. What I'm saying I need I want you should hear this with your nervous system. I told somebody the other day the nervous system knows if you're lying or if you're not lying. The mind we could play games with. It says in that comes the used to say this always the soul is going to get nurture from the body. The body is going to be the one doing the GPS Google maps and the soul is going to tell the body and say what do you say? How can it be? We all know that the is physical and lowly but that's now. But when you get to the essence of the body, the iss of the goof. So deep down in the body, the body is the one that has all the truth. All the truth. And the body is going to direct the soul. When the body is manipulated and it goes crazy and it's addicted, then the body can't be trusted. But the real energy of the body, that's really the deepest guide. The body you can't lie to which means that's without say today we see it that the nervous system you can't lie to it. The mind you could play games with. I could sell people the Brooklyn Bridge, the G Tapenzy Bridge, the GW bridge. You could sell people bridges with their mind. The nervous system either it knows the truth. Either it's feels real safety or it doesn't. You could see the mind you could manipulate, feel safe, feel safe. But the nervous system knows you're lying. you're lying. And when it feels really the truth, it relaxes. It goes into and then it lets go of the ego and then you're good. You're good. And that's what that's everything till that point. We could play games, we could sell things, whatever people could. You know, we're living in now a time. We're living in a very, very special critical time now. It's very fascinating. I don't even know how to say this. Somebody told me God exped God expedited consciousness. God expedited consciousness. Everything is being cracked open. There are those who are humbling themselves to be a channel. And there are those who unconsciously, it's not their fault, it's 2,000 years of trauma, are resisting every authentic transformation that's happening. The Reb said in the last few months when he was talking, if everybody opens their eyes, they'll see that the gula energy is already in the world. The leviosa is here, theat is here, and people need to open their eyes and be able to feel it and experience it. But if the eyes are closed, you can't see it. So what does that mean? Open the eyes, it means that there's a real energy happening. But you have to be able to open the eyes. Open the eyes is hard. But if you open your eyes, it's here. It's present. Ah. So what's the conclusion? So this is the what's that? Nobody can tell you where to go. You're the only one who can tell yourself where to go. We're always waiting for a savior to tell me what to do, how I should live. It's good to get advice. It's good to have friends. It's good to have support. It's very important. But at the end of the day, look into yourself because you're the only one who's going to give the verdict. It's inside of you. We always want to rely on people because of our weakness. And it's normal. Tell me what to do. People send me emails. I want dy. I want dy. You don't get such. I want dyra. Why you you find that funny, >> huh? >> You want that? It's not It's not It's not as attractive as it seems. Trust me. For a few days. For a few days and then you'll you'll you'll you'll sober up. It's not as attractive. And it's good. People want advice. People want input. It's good to have perspective. We all have blind spots. We need to get advice from people. It's very very important to have a teacher, to have a mentor, to have a to have a friend etc. to have somebody to guide you. But deep down it's all important. Deep deep down your soul has an inner knowing and its inner knowing is you should know. I once heard a from the and you know sometimes you hear one thing and it like boom I learned this for many years and there were things I struggled with and then I listen a lot to the because it makes when the when you read things in print it's the way people wrote it. So the way people wrote it it's good it's nice but it's the way they understood it. When the speaks you hear the the energy there's things that can't be communicated in writing. You hear the presence of the nama. It's not the words. The words make sense, but you have to hear the you don't get in the written words. >> Huh? >> Very good. Very good. You learn. Very good. Even after 40 years. Yeah. Yeah. That you get only from it's an experience that he that he gives over not through the words. It's the presence. And that you can only find in your own presence. Like we learned in the The Reb said over the from the alterba which he used to constantly say was always said it because this is this was the motto that when he would damic rights that when everybody would hear that in he would say I don't want your I don't want your I don't want your lower grenade. I don't want your higher grenade. I want only you. It's a says that this is what we would hear from my grandfather during Daveningus in middle of because this is what he would say. So everybody would read it every it's printed you could read it was there he was a grandson of the alter he grew up by the alterba was the of the alterba he didn't want to become a reb was one of the oldest he came into it was a year after the passed away there was nobb yet in the told him says If a person generates the seed first, the the child is a female. And if the female generates it first, the child is a male. That's what the say explaining what's so that's your mother. Da passed away. It's a whole Maver died very young. You know the story. She felt that there was a kit on her father. Her father is going to pass away very young. She called in three of her father. She took out the she had them and she made them swear that they're going to do everything she says. And she said she's exchanging her life for her father's life. Sadalia, she passed away. was two years old and she made a deal with her father that he's going to raise the himself. So his crib was in the's room. So that was so this person told that's and you that's your mother and you so you and that's that. So he writes what he heard from the during put him said it over. He would always say it over. He would constantly say it over very often. But then the said that said that this says this was the of then I can't remember exactly the language. I heard the recording but the said something like this. He said was saying that what has to be the of every Jew and then he was who was put. He said that means if this is what has to be it means this is what is that he's never going to be happy with and only with you himself and then I understood that every time it says in you have to change it for the words this is who you really are when you're going to figure out how to get beyond your blockages like oh wow nailed it he nailed says means you shall love. But in Hebrew means you will love. And he says every time it says in a commandment is a promise. Usually when you give a commandment it's not a promise. It's a commandment because I can promise you I want you to do it. But that's not it's a prom if it's a commandment it's a promise because I'm I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just telling you who you are. Either it's going to be revealed today, it's going to be revealed in a year. Nothing in tells you what to do. It tells you who you are. Vah does not you shall love. You will love when you find out who you are. You will love. Maybe now with crazy blockages. It's a commandment. I hear it as a commandment because I'm alienated for myself. There's no such thing a commandment. But see that everyone said mitzvah is not a mitzvah. It's reality. What? What's Somebody's giving me a mitzvah to breathe now. Inhale. Exhale. When you do a whole breath work session, you have to inhale. But nobody's telling me to breathe. Nobody tells you that during the day you should drink a cup of water. Why not? Because your whole system says it's time to breathe. Go to the bathroom. A mitzvah. Because a mitzvah is essentially who you are. When you're going to know who you are, of course, you don't know mitzvah. It's it's essential. It's natural. Vaha is you shall love. But in Hebrew, it means you will love. When you know who you are, what what else are you going to love? What else are you going to love? Ripstake, power, validation. These are all coping mechanisms to cover up on crazy trauma that we all have. You don't need all all of that. People think their whole life they're looking for some recogn spiritual recognition. It's like we have to feel bad. We push have to feel bad for ourselves. Like the says, you want to believe in the dime, fine, but just realize it's a dime. Like don't turn your dime into the victory of the century. You have a dime fine next. And you want me to look at you and say, "Oh, wow. I see a dime." Fine. When you could look at yourself that way, you could be half normal. So what are we talking about here? Oh immediately when said I want only you. So this is what theb said inb was describing what every Jew is when all the blockages are removed and then I realized ah so every mimer is really the most kind graceful thing in the world basically telling me Rabbi Y or whatever name when you remove all your blockages all your traumas all your stuff this is where you're going to be. Thank you. Wow, that's that's good stuff. Thank you. You'll go on all your every all your avoid all the any healing you'll do in your history and you'll get through all the blockages, all the cover ups. And what are you going to touch? I want you. That's where you're going to touch. So here it is. You don't have to. This is what's going to be vaha. You're gonna get to this point. If you're a mala, you don't need that. You're not a malik is created to channel. It's doing a good job. But if you're not going to be satisfied with that all you need is until you don't get to that point, nothing is going to help. And all the issues you're having in your marriage. Okay, listen what I'm going to tell you now cuz it's good stuff. All the issues you have in your marriage, unconsciously, it's not conscious. Unconsciously, your wife is helping you find who you really are. You think you're upset and angry because she's not this and she's not that and she's not that. And in some situations, maybe that's the case. This is a disclaimer. I'm not here giving marriage therapy for all situations but for some situations unconsciously your wife is pushing you pushing you pushing you pushing you and really telling you don't be satisfied with mediocrity because that's what women are good at unconsciously they're good at feeling your weakness and highlighting it every hour of the day and you're busy exploding and running to therapists. Why can't my wife just tell me what an amazing, handsome, gorgeous, tall, slim, athletic, successful, powerful, generous, humorous, brilliant, deep? I have more adjectives, but I'm going to stop. Why isn't my wife telling that to me? So, the s So, there's two reasons. The revealed reason is because she has her issues. That's the revealed reason. Oh, he woke up. The real reason is because she's pushing you to find your own power. She's pushing you not to get stuck in your bubble which is going to satisfy you externally. She's pushing you to become the man you're supposed to be. If the men understand what I'm talking about, good. If not, you have to still become men. It's fine. You're on a journey. No problem. Men have to become men so that women could be women. We have a generation where women are not allowed to be women. Men are not allowed to be men. Men are women. Women are men. Completely misug. So when men will become men, women will be able to be women. And when women will be women, men will be able to be men. But men are not supposed to wait. Officially, men are the mashia. So you have to take the brave dive into true masculine divine power and strength. So what's the real point that in life everything that's pushing you externally it's putting pressure on you deep down it's saying if you're waiting for my validation you're waiting for your wife to compliment you so that you can feel good about yourself. you're not feeling good about yourself. Of course, it's nice when wives compliment husbands. No question. All the women are who are hearing this. When they compliment you, compliment your husbands, it's a nice thing. But that's not the point. If that's really your source of energy, you are uh you are what's the word? You're shortcircuiting yourself. Is that a good word? You didn't go you didn't have an education. You didn't have an education. It's a good word. You're shortcircuiting yourself. which means you're depriving yourself of your true source that really what you want is you want atmos that's what you want that's what you should know I there's a hundred other voices in me yeah I have stuff I have to work them through but that's really it and how do you know it because when you'll give that to yourself you'll see ah Ah, Isaac. shortselling. Sorry, I still think shortcircuiting, but okay. I'm not going to argue with a UCLA graduate. >> Anyway, huh, maybe you'll sing the pillow's niggan. You know the pillows. The pillow of Pich. You know the who the pillow was? The pillow. real people. You talking about real people, huh? Yeah, we learned the pill was of he went to the sent two years to the pillow to learn what it means to to learn is to be a he was two years by the pillow the composed amazing I'll tell you of page he once said this you have to be an adel a person to typhus once said he was unbelievably mach in you know that yeah he was an unbelievable mahm so sometimes when people are so stringent it's like OCD they need help right that's why Pearlman is not so mach because he doesn't have OCD it's like almost like people are into emotional health are like not so machm and the the the OCDs are mahm so when you would look at and you saw that he was so stringent you would think he's an obsessive person. That's what you would think. I'm giving you context to what he said. He didn't say all of this. And then explained he says the reason I am so in every every m every he was tremendously stringent. He said it's one reason up I want that I should be able to really be able to experience because when you have any blockages in your if you're anywhere you you let yourself go you can't understand to understand you have to be transparent your antennas have to be completely transparent so the said that all of his is not to be able to be called I am uple that's what said you have to understand this you have to understand this people who are very very careful with every moment it's not the OCD that's we know about OCD that needs healing everybody should get the healing they need because it comes from shame and guilt and all that it's a different it's a different Indian I was once speaking at somewhere in Brighton beach so before me was an Olympic an Olympic. He received a gold medal in Sydney. He was a swimmer, a Jewish guy. He won the gold medal in Sydney for Olympics, for Olympic swimming. So I asked him how many hours a day he swims. So he told me he gets into the pool at 4 and he swims till 11 every day. How many hours that five, six, seven, eight, nine, seven hours he swims. I said, "Do you take a break?" He says, "No." I say, "What happens if you take a break one day?" He says, "My body knows. it doesn't go back to what it was. And then I thought to myself, wow, he gets it in his world. He knows he doesn't look at himself as OCD. He's an Olympic swimmer. You want your body to respond to that level of athletic excellence. You need to be present with it. Don't play games with me. Your body is not a is not a object to play games with. Your body is not a victim of your craziness. Either you take me seriously, you don't want to take me seriously. You want to be an Olympic swimmer, no problem. Seven hours. If this is true with physical stuff, it's infinitely more true when it comes to spiritual emotional stuff. There's no such a thing. I'll flirt with a women woman and then I'm going to learn a mime and feel. No, no, no, no. Where are you? He needs seven hours of swimming. You need 24 hours of presence. We fall. We fall. No problem. This chuva, everybody falls and we do chuva. It's fine accountability humanness but you have to know the said you can't understand anything in if you're not working on yourself there's no such a thing I said in the I saw 1946 that said that he heard from his father And so made an oathmos that means the essence of Hashem made an oath he will never be viscerally revealed to somebody who understands and philosophizes. If he doesn't work on integrating it into his body and into his daily life. Now you'll ask me a question. How did know? And the answer is when you're aba you know as in other words it was because knew how much it affected him means the essence of hashem took an oath that he will not be revealed to a mascul there's a lot of people including in the world of that learn and is a big thing you learn and learn and you and you make idea and it's beautiful it first of all keeps you out of trouble Second of all, it's amazing ideas and it's inspiring ideas and it's holy ideas and it's divine ideas. It's of it's not of the all the way down to the so it's part of but swore that he's not going to reveal himself to means it's no non-negotiable. Why? The answer is because if it's not real, if it's not visceral, it's betraying the whole purpose of everything. The whole purpose of everything was the relationship, the connection. And the truth is that a lot of people don't know about this. And it's not anybody's fault. Ultimately, it's 2,000 years of crazy gullous trauma. So, it's nobody's fault. What does the villain go and says, "Listen, look. People are here. They're connect try look you going to complain that they're not what are you going to complain right that they're here they're here they're actually looking they're searching they're even protesting even those who are protesting at least ep something something they're busy protesting they could sit on their couch and sip iced coffee and say what do I care even if they're protesting it's not it's not it's not whatever shine God says, "You know what? I can't complain. It's been 3,00 When was the last time God spoke to us publicly?" 3,000 300. When was you remember? No, you were there. B. So, give me the numbers here. 3,300. >> No, no. 3,39 years. 38 years. 3,338 years, right? Somewhere in that zip code. If I'm off a year, forgive me, but somewhere there. That's the last time God spoke to us. Let's face it. Look what happened. We're still busy selling. You ever see how crazy Jews are out of PES? Completely cuckoo. We're putting on fillain. We're not turning on lights on Shabas. Come on. If you were God, what would you say? Last time I spoke to them, imagine you spoke to your wife 3,000. You wish. You wish. 3,338 years ago, and she's still thinking about you, Miss Every therapist would tell your wife, you are so codependent. Get a life. Get a new guy. He doesn't care about you. There's better stuff out there. And they're still putting on fill in. People are still trying. They're still still trying. They're still desperate. Some give me some enlightenment. So the come on Manis Friedman once gave a beautiful martial I heard from him. You know the mush with the soup. There was a husband and he told his wife, "I'm going out. I'll see you soon." She says, "Okay, I'm going to make a soup. when you come home, you'll have a beautiful mushroom and barley soup the way you like it. And she cooks him a beautiful soup. He doesn't come home, not that night, not that week, not that year. And people say, you know, it's time to maybe throw out the soup. She says, "No, he said he's going to come back. He's going to come back." No, he comes back 2,000 years later and the soup is there, right? And he takes the first spoon of the soup and he says, "It's cold. It's so cold." No normal husband is going to say that. He's going to taste the soup and say, "Wow, 2,000 years you still had the soup." Says, "People are afraid of Mashiah." Mashia is going to come and say, "The soup is cold." No, it's not what he's going to say. He's going to say 2,000 years later and there's still soup. You still held on to the soup. Oh my god. Wow. How lucky am I? How does somebody get a woman like this 2,000 years later? You have to remember that. How did I get into this the soup? >> Huh? >> So, we have to appreciate that. We have to appreciate even those who are frustrated and desperate and angry and they're busy protesting and they're busy explaining that this one got it wrong and that one got it wrong, but they're still busy with the soup. I mean, they don't know anything about the soup, but they're busy with the soup. They're protesting about the soup and it's too cold, it's too hot, it's too spicy. It's not spicy. They're not getting the nikuda. But fine, they're busy with the soup. You got to love them. You got to kiss them. What do you want from them? You have to see their souls. People have to see their souls. Stop being defensive. Stop being defensive. I'm talking to myself. Huh? But we have to know the truth as that he will not be revealed to a moll he will not. That's what the said of ah >> what >> an uni is a lot of avoid an unies comes with a lot of avoid an on a that's how you become an a mascul could think he has it an is a every person who does an avoid is an oniat once said in nish You're looking for wealth, you have it. It's called ignorance. In ignorance, we're all wealthy. That's what he said. In ignorance, we're all wealthy. Huh? >> What are you worried about? You can get in more. I'm not worried. I'm not worried. Don't worry. is the to have give us perspective but perspective is there to create it's like Google maps you're in the car and Google map says go make a right make you have to know that but if you don't make a right and you don't make a left it's worthless a skull is the map it teaches you the truth what's reality what's not reality who you are who you're not that's the map and the map you have to learn because if you don't know the map. You're just sitting there and you're confused. And even if you have a moment of inspiration, you don't know what to do with it. This is the map. People, there's people who went on very deep journeys, spiritual journeys. But because they're not into learning, so they don't have a map. So they go to a place, imagine you go to Hawaii, you go to Antarctica, you go to a beautiful place, it's amazing, but you don't have a map. You don't know what what it is. And then you come home, all you can say is amazing, but there's nothing that stays with you. This says ah you saw this of course this is this is what this is this is this is this is soul this is body this is alus this is it now you come home you have words you have is you must have that that's why everybody who's busy with their healing and their transformation and their growth it's amazing but the integration is through mashia told that I will come. It's not it's not a joke. The Mashiach the Bash had a conversation. It's not a joke. They knew what healing is. Mashiach knows what healing is. The BMP is the greatest healer of the Jewish people. I said the Bash will always be remembered as the one who began to heal the trauma of Judaism and of the Jewish people. always forever. That's the because the integration of all of it, you want to integrate it into your marriage, into your relationships, into your daily life. That's with nigla. Without nigla, then you fly. It's like it's elusive. P and work together. is the body of so this is the of you here. So whenever you make a judgment on another person remember who you're judging you're judging yourself. What do they say? When you point a finger at somebody at that moment look at me you're pointing three fingers at yourself. I'm not pointing at you. I'm pointing at myself. I think I'm pointing at you but I'm pointing at myself. That's the once you know that you're present. The only reason we judge other people is because we're trying to demonstrate our superiority. I know that I go I sometimes go into judgment and then I know I have to go in something is miserable. When you're when you're aligned, you don't have to judge people. If you have to fix something, you fix it. If you have to stay away from something, you stay away from it. If you have to have boundaries, you have to Why are you going into judgment? I'm going into judgment because I don't like myself. And by judging you, I'm going to make myself feel better. You understand? >> You're nodding as though you understand. >> So, let me hear. What's the judgment? >> Good speaker. Wow. Okay. Good speaker. >> Anything else? Okay. >> This is all and you forgot said that all of his was you understand sometimes I know I want to eat something. I I I I fail with this because I have an addiction to food. I'm have to deal with it. But something I knew, I tell myself, you're going to eat this, but you're not going to understand the mimer. I know right away I'm not going to understand the mime. I know I have to ask myself, is it worth it? Is it worth to eat this, but I'm not going to understand the mime? I know I'm not going to because it's not not it's not it's not a punishment if the antennas are are uh what's the word? If the antennas are uh >> jammed if the antennas are jammed with Okay. Yeah. They're not they're not going to channel the stuff and everybody has that. It could be with women, could be with women. My mother told me when I was a child, she said that somebody a woman a secular woman came to the and she she didn't know better. So she stretched out her hand to the America 1950 1960 1960s you know this was she stretched out her hand to the Reb was a very ad person. But on the other hand, you know, was beyond anybody even knows. Nobody even knows his was beyond what anybody could comprehend. It was so it was so deep that it was people didn't even realize. It was very meticulous. But nobody saw it. So he looked at her and he said, "When my when I was a child, my mother taught me not to touch something that doesn't belong to me. And she was like, "So, wow." Like, that's how he said it. When I was a child, my mother taught me not to touch something that doesn't belong to me. But the only way you can live that way is if you know what does belong to you. If you don't have anything that belongs to you, then you need everything to belong to you. Then every woman has to belong to you. You understand that you once came to the and he said to the everybody in steps on me everybody steps on me said of course you spread yourself everywhere is you spread yourself everywhere so wherever anybody steps it's on you in other words if you have no place to call yours so you need every place to belong to you so wherever anybody steps it's on you he just described described what they called today I guess whatever there's a lot of names for it but the point is if you don't have a corner that's yours then I need I need you oh you're talking oh you're talking about me like you know you understand what that is when you're not connected to anything so you're looking for connection so there's a conversation there are you guys talking about me are you they even think it's a joke they don't understand Now you understand. They think it's a joke. >> They don't understand. Huh? >> Really? Wow. Pearlman convinced you. >> You convinced me. >> I convinced you or my kiss. >> Okay. So that's the you hear. So said was you have to know it's a price to pay. It's a price to pay. You want to flirt? No problem. You're going to get validation for six minutes, but don't think that your relationship with your wife that day is going to be the same. That's what people are not realizing. Every yes is a no. Every no is a yes. The says just like fire and water don't live in the same heart. Hashem and cannot coexist together. I never liked that. I have to be honest with you. I never liked it. We are all about all inclusivity, right? All-encompassing. I want to have in my heart and the truth is was a very good therapist and a good teacher and he was telling you the truth. I love you. I I want you. But you have to realize what you're investing in. You want to have a good relationship with your spouse, amazing. But if you're busy flirting with other people, that's where your energy is going into. Now, you may have a miserable relationship with your spouse, and that's why you need to flirt. I get that women have this issue and men have that issue, but they have to confront it. Like, if you don't heal the ruptures of your relationship, it's going to be leaking into other people. And the same is true with everything else in life. The way we eat, the way we do business, the way we handle with friends, our social lives, our family lives, every aspect of our lives, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, social, academic, etc., etc. So, nailed it. Said, I want to be without the teaching. You can't be typhus without the teaching. If you're distracted, it just doesn't work. So either you surrender to the hierarchy of truth or you create your own hierarchy and good luck. Listen, I tried other stuff. I saw the results. So I'm not speaking to you philosophy. I'm speaking to you from experience. Just sharing with you. What I'm saying now is not philosophy. It's not because I think it's true. I felt it viscerally. I've been there. I tried a lot of other stuff. Me personally Jacobson I failed. I tried always tried my best but I didn't understand everything. So I thought this path, that path, that that that that and I was always learning good things and I was sharing good things, but I didn't understand. I didn't I shouldn't say I didn't understand. I didn't experience the the absolute necessity and not necessity, the kindness and the grace of real surrender. Real surrender is not fake. It's that say again the You said it before. Good. >> Good. Yeah. The moment Jacobson or anybody needs validation from anybody, it's normal. It's normal. It's called human. But that's it. That's all you have to know. It's a des because basically it's not because I'm great. It's because I think I'm a minuscule, insignificant, uh, inconsequential blimp that's on the surface of infinity. and means nothing and therefore I'm looking for some form of existence. Fine, but it's pathetic. So says, I want to give you a gift and the gift is let go, surrender, and be a channel. And you know what that means? It means you don't exist. And the moment you realize that, like, oh, wow, it's amazing. You know how amazing it is not to exist? Does anybody understand what I'm talking about? Huh? You understand what I'm talking about? Does anybody know how amazing it is not to exist? I never knew this. I thought the most amazing thing is to exist. And alterb would always say the most amazing thing is not to exist. I didn't like him. I liked him because I was always impressed by the alterb. Always I felt like a but I didn't like him. I wouldn't make him my therapist. This is not a friend. I want you to I want somebody to tell me I do exist. Prove it to me. Show it to me. And every mime is like no iron. I in like Yesh is old issues. The more blockages you have. Leave me alone. Somebody boost boost me up. But the truth is today I know the truth. He was sharing the truth. He says, "What? You want me to feed your trauma further? You want me to be another therapist who takes $400 a session and boost your fake ego so that what you should feel good for 10 minutes? I'm I'm actually I'm I'm I'm your I'm telling you the truth. I have no agenda here. And what's the truth? The truth is that because means whenever you think you're broken, lonely, separate from Hashem and therefore you need to build that reality, that is the definition of a desire. Even if you believe in God, the moment God is God and not you, that's not God. That's idolatry. The real truth of Hashem is that it's you. It's channeled through you. You are one. And there's no, you're not going to get any better confidence than that. Any other confidence is going to be a bonsai scheme. And we all know, some of us remember the pon, not bonsai, ponsai scheme that someone made. He's already in the next world. 50 billion. How much was this panzai scheme? Huh? 50 billion dollars. And some of us do the same thing emotionally. And people invest and we invest. And what is it? It's nothing. It's not not real. The only real thing is nothing else. And we could I could fight it my whole life. I'll fight it and fight it and fight it because my trauma and I'll even sometimes I'll even fight in the name of sometimes you could be aid and use to build the ego and to get my validation. So now it's but this is what happens. So says that all of his were worth it to be able. So now let's sing this is a hagd to understand abil's nan we have I think 14 from but this is one of them and we used to sing this in my house Friday night right we would sing this always Friday night it's a very special there's one tua you'll see later it's like you can only sing such a tua if you let go of everything else there's one teneua here in the niggan that you could see what it means a person lets go cuz you cannot reach that state of consciousness if you don't let go of other things. Baba Ira. I am aba I ever IA. aba by Yeah. Aha. Yeah, you know, you know, aba Y da. aby. enough. I am Yeah. Listen to this of Hill. High enough. I am I am above. Aha. There's the presence. Presenty. High enough. Hallelu confess. You see, there's a world of innocence. There's a world of innocence. That's what all of us have to know. You know the sensitivity is main. You get a pen. You get a pen. Yeah. Hallelujah. Everybody got to compose their own song. You have to compose your own song. Real real that everyone said comes from me. Real comes from real B. When you completely surrender, you have a different level of confidence. It's not fake confidence. You understand? That's why you hear in these it's therefore this people trusted themselves because they knew they could trust themselves. How do you know if you could trust yourself? I would say one of the biggest plagues of this generation is nobody trusts themselves anymore. The only people who trust themselves are people who are sick and the attackers shouldn't trust themselves because they're sick in their head. The only It's very good what I just said. It just came into me. The only people I know who trust themselves are people who attack is sick. They push it suffer crazy and they trust themselves. But you know, they don't trust themselves. They're just hiding behind crazy walls. Anybody who's like actually a little healthy, they don't trust themselves. Like that's the motto. And it makes sense. But you know how you know when you're you know how you know you're getting healthy? You start trusting yourself because you know what self to trust. You right away know this self. No, no, this I don't trust. It's kipa. It's it's it's it's defensive. It's it's opportunistic. It's it's it's has an agenda. The only tr self that you trust is the self that says, "Oh, that you could trust. That you could trust. It's pure as heaven. It's be it's more pure than heaven. It's more pure than the angels. You understand? So real people know how to trust themselves. You hear? This is very very important. But you can only trust yourself if you have if you surrender everything else. If you don't surrender everything else, then don't trust yourself. I don't think we should sayurrender. >> You don't like the word surrender. So what's >> recognize? Okay. You've heard the word surrender being exploited too much. >> It sounds like it sounds like you're being commanded >> so let's use the word ble. What about ble? >> Ble also is a bad word, right? Nullified. Nullified recognizing the reality, >> right? It's all the same thing. Huh? That's how they could that's how the pillow could compose the song. If he didn't trust us, he couldn't compose the song. Who am I? What am I? The once said in the third night of he said what's the of this generation you know the said this you don't know that's how I that's how I it guided me of what to talk about the said after the holocaust the Jewish people have been so crushed they don't have a yetahara anymore says what's theahara of this generation and you know what I've answered the is that people thear comes in and says four words. Who do you think you are? Shh. Piece of garbage. That's the said, you know what happened last night in your life? Do you think that the wants to dwell in your heart? Come on, be normal. Be realistic. So that's the in simple English people don't know how to trust themselves. And there's a good reason for it because what what what should I trust? my craziness, my insanity, my my my wounds. If you don't see your godliness, you shouldn't tr Yeah, it's hard to trust myself. I have a lot of crazy stuff in me. But once you you you see the difference between the penny, the the what is it? The dime, the quarter, and the the elos you right away. No, no, of course this this I could trust. Of course, he could trust us. So you didn't say was singing all these introspective songs. You know this May I I Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Mother yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Heat. I yeah see Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Heat. Hallelujah. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. Hold on. Okay. Heat. Heat. Heat. Hey, heat. Hey, heat. Heat. Heat. Hey guys. God fire. What's the go? Is it the right chocolate? Gosh, this is part of Holocaust. Happy exercise. Hallelujah. My God. God. Hallelujah. I love you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You might Heavenly King might be God. Yeah. Yeah. I am high are Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I might I beg your sin. Hallelujah. What's in them? All right. in the there's a safer called over there is collected all the bash a lot of the bash's teachings on the paras so paras there's a piece of the bashv on the menu says to the Jewish people in this week's paral after the they see that the Egyptians are pursuing them and they're stuck between the rock and the hard ball between the mitz and the yams and they start hollering and crying where there not enough graves in Egypt. They had to take us out here. We could have just been buried there. So Mosha tells them, excuse me, stop stand and you will see the salvation of Hashem. Because as you see Egypt today, you will never see them again ever. Hashem will fight for you and you remain silent. So the ask what does mean as you see Egypt today you will never see them again he should have said relax you will never go back to Egypt don't worry what's as you see Egypt today you won't see them even Rashi is bothered by this and Rashi says you think you're seeing Egypt it's only it's only today you're not going to see them Yeah, because the language is very difficult. The whole the the sentence seems not only superfluous but also contradictory. Yeah, it's obvious that they saw Egypt today. They don't want to see them. So the BMT says it's like one, it's literally two lines over there. He says like this what Mosha was saying was because you see today therefore you will never see them again. If you don't look at them today you will see them always. You will always see them. If you're ready to look at them now then you won't have to see them again. probably four books of psychology in there. We often even in this we're talking about what a person is everything but you have to remember something and that is don't be afraid to look at the says what Mosha was telling is because you're looking at them today you won't have to see them again if you're you're not ready to look at them today, you will always see them. Because if you're not ready to look at them today, they will creep up from all different angles, from all different directions. Why is this very important for us? Because in everybody's journey, sometimes the greatest impediment is we want to believe that we don't have to look at mit again. Everybody in their own way. I've reached bliss. I've reached enlightenment. I've reached truth. I felt it. Go argue with your nervous. I felt it. I was there. It was amazing. I know that. It was amazing. It was incredible. It's going to last exactly for two and a half weeks. If you're lucky, for two and a half months. And afterwards, every one of those mitim is going to return with a vengeance. and you're like, "Oh my god, what happened?" Not only that, you will forget everything. So the says was telling them only if you're ready to look at Mitsim today, you'll also be able to say goodbye to Mitsam. Sometimes the greatest obstacles to real transformation is that we're not ready to look at Mitsim. And it makes sense. scary to look at mitz because mitz is not out there. It's in in here. It's very hard to look at it. It's very hard to tell myself that my entire life was designed in a way that would allow me to avoid looking at mam. Sometimes in our spectacular excellence and precision and brilliance and emotional um sensitivity, we create a life that doesn't allow us and doesn't demand from us to look at mitz. It works and then it stays there. It remains embedded. The infection is in the system. and it wres havoc. The only thing is it wres havoc unconsciously. It yields its influence but its influence is so powerful because I don't know about it. And remember you know talk about when in when things influence you in a way that's unconscious they influence you much deeper. If I'm influenced by something that I know about I can look at it and say oh wow I'm affected by this bribe by this compliment by this need by this desperation by this benefit. When it's unconscious, I don't even know. So, it's guiding me. It's even telling me that I'm a noble, idealistic, amazing human being. But unconsciously, it's purely contamination. So, the explaining his words, look at them. Look at it. It's pretty disgusting actually. It's pretty nauseating. It's very very despic It's often despicable and it's pretty lowly and you know what it's very very simple, primitive and often just ugly and like yeah that's what mim looks like right here. Look at it. Don't worship it but look at it. See it because the moment you see it and identify it, you don't have to see it ever again. Meaning the moment you could really see what it is and face it and that's not easy. There's a reason I'm avoiding facing it. I've been avoiding to face it my whole life. From the earliest memory somehow my consciousness said this you can't face. This is so ugly. It's so weird. It's so despicable. It's so scary. It's so shameful. Let's not face this. And I don't know if you know exactly what I'm talking about, but if you do, you do. If not, whatever. Either you're lucky or you're so un whatever. Either you're lucky that you don't know about it because you don't have it or you're just not connected to this. But try to tune into this. Sometimes we spend our entire life avoiding looking at certain things which will make us uncomfortable because it's too painful. And you can't it's not about blaming yourself. It's really not about blame. You know, I I understood this. I never understood that real people who challenge you, they're not blaming you. They're actually loving you. You know, we often hear when somebody challenges you, it's like you hate me. You I don't hate you. I love you. I challenge you because I love you. It's a different type. It's a different energy. You can feel it. It's connected connectivity. It's also the part of you that challenges you, doesn't hate you, loves you. So, Misha says, "I love you." And I want you to know, I want you to look at mit because if you look at it and you see it in all of its colorfulness and ugliness, you won't have to look at it again. But if you don't, it will creep up in every shar mitzvah, in every encounter, in every relationship, in every it will creep up in everything. Some of us somehow convinced ourselves that spiritual connection means we don't look at all of these things because it's not me and therefore it's so much part of me that it reeks its havoc unconsciously. So all of us it behooves us to be able to say looking at something doesn't mean that it becomes yours forever. On the contrary, it means you can actually spit it out. It means you can actually let it go. It means you can expel it. At least it means you can see what it is. You know, back to the story with the nickel. Like, yeah, this is the dime. This is what it offers me. You know what? There's a part of me that just wants a dime. It wants 10 cents. Yeah, 10 cents excite me somehow. There's a part of me that gets very excited if you can give me 50 bucks or 10 bucks or 50 cents or 10 cents or a quarter and that's very exciting. Okay, you could really really look at it and it's a very interesting thing paradoxically. The more you can look at it, the more you can disengage from it, the more you can let it go. You would think it's counterintuitive. No, if you look at it like you become No, no, it's the other way around. If you don't look at it, it captures you. It holds you hijack. It holds you in captivity. If you look at it, you like, "Wow, so interesting, you little guy. You're like such an interesting guy." You're like, "Wow." And I want to illustrate this viscerally. Okay? Cuz I like when things are visceral, just one of my weaknesses or strengths, whatever. You'll define it as you wish. But let's say you're in your marriage or in your relationship with your kids with your family there. Everything comes out in marriages and relationships cuz that's where God set up all the challenges that everybody should be able to work out their issues. We don't understand that but that's where everything happens and in schul nothing happens like in your house that's where things happen. Like in schul it's just a break. Like schol is just you know you sit with the guys they know nothing about your life. You know nothing about their life. They make a to you. They have a kdish with you. They tell you a nice vert. You tell them a nice vert, a joke. Hopefully, it's clean, not clean, whatever. It's completely irrelevant. In your house, that's where everything happens, right? So, that's how Hashem made it. It's supposed to be that way with your spouse, with your kids, and your wife or your husband, whoever we're talking about, says something and it really triggers you. And there's a part of us that wants to bypass it. Like either n I don't feel what I'm feeling. I'm a good guy. I'm I'm a guy. I'm a holy guy. I'm a spiritual guy. This morning by shakus, you know what I felt? Like it's not for me. I don't look there. But suddenly you're feeling anger. You're like, why are you responding to this person with so much anger? It's all because this point I wasn't ready to look at it. I suppressed it. I buried it. And because I buried it, I bypassed it, I supplanted it with a fictional image of who I am. It's really there and it's wreaking havoc. And we're living in a generation where so many of us, you'll forgive me, I'm saying this with love because I know about myself, I did it also. We have learned to serve God through suppressing what's really happening. In fact, many of us were taught in our own minds at least that the way to serve Hashem is by actually not acknowledging what's happening inside of us. And it was with beautiful intentions like of course you're a beautiful person. You're a holy person. You're not lowly. You're not anim animalistic. You're not egotistical. you're not narcissistic. And we have a lot of sources for all of this. And people stopped really acknowledging their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. And when they don't do that, when they're not ready, look at your mitz. You will it will always remain there. It creeps it creeps up and it captures us in lethal, clandestine, secretive ways. And we're completely hijacked at this point where if you could actually look at it with compassion and with even grief and you could say, "Yeah, wow. You know what? I am so I really I am so overwhelmed. I am anxious. I am angry. I am completely completely hijacked by this emotion." Wow. You can actually look at it and give it its attention. It's like a little child tantruming. And you know what happens then? Then you don't have to see it ever again. Meaning then you can neutralize it. You can quarantine it. You see what it is. You know what it does to you and for you. And then you can choose. You have agency to say either I'm going to get sweeped up in that emotion and live there and only react from that space maybe consciously or unconsciously or I can actually see exactly what it is. And then you actually have for the first time in your life. The only people who have free choice in life are the people who know how little choice they have. That's what I believe. I mean, I think it's true. It says it says this. It says this in it's not my but it's also we see it like if I really believe I have choice, I have no choice. I'm just completely reactive. My wife says this, I respond this way. my kid. It's just it's just changing formats. It's completely reactive. I'm completely in reactive state. The moment I realize how little choice I have, that's actually the moment you start having choice. You like actually see, wow, oh my god, there's like a sandbox, a playground with a hundred kids playing around and killing each other. And you can like watch it and say, "You know what? I'm actually going to go out of the sandbox and respond in a different way. And it's not going to be easy because my neural pathways have all been acclimated to respond this way. So this is what the bash is teaching us teaching us that was at that pivotal moment saying if you're ready to look at them today you won't have to see them again. There are people who have had tremendous ms for where they are today, but they're not ready to look at their blockages. They're not ready because it's very hard. It's very hard for me to say that with all of the progress and with all of the work, there's a part that is so petty, that is so babyish, that is so infantile, that is so underdeveloped. It's hard. Who wants to say that? I don't want to say that. So much work, so much effort, so much learning, so many changes, so much action, so so many journeys for some people. Like I don't want to say that there's a part that's so infantile and that's our greatest mistake. Real aid hashem is embracing our vulnerability all the way and in the highest moments knowing that there is a very very base primal primitive self that's just looking to get satisfied. And the more I could look at that, the more I don't have to see it, the more I could actually say goodbye to it. If I don't look at it, and especially if I'm desperate not to look at it, and if I get angry angry at somebody who brings it up, how dare you? I'm such an enlight I'm an enlightened person. I'm a blissful person. I know everything. Oh, then you become a very dangerous man or a very dangerous woman. The more ready to see, we won't have to be able to see them again. You don't you have to look at it. You don't have to get drunk. You don't have to get uh infatuated by it. There's a difference. You could just look at it. You understand what I'm talking about? Huh? I I I I put in here I saw somebody quoted from the BMP says for the says the his student that told these is quoting what he heard from the bash when a person could be aware of all the leprosies all the blemishes of his heart how sick his soul is how immature he is the fact that he has this does this awareness he can sweeten his emotional immaturity and this becomes his very healing. But when his emotional immaturity remains concealed and eclipsed, he doesn't know how spiritually sick he is. There is no remedy for his horrific illness. What is the Bash really saying? He's saying that this is the key. The moment you could be aware, we're so afraid of this awareness, so we block it. But if I can be af aware of all the parts, wow, that's called das. I don't have to become that part, but I can be aware of it. Then I could look at it. I could see it. I can evaluate it. I could see how significant or insignificant it is in the scheme of my life. I can also choose. Is this where I want to live? Is this where I want to guide me? Is this where I want my marriage to be, my relationship with my kids to be? Is this what I want to occupy my brain? But if you don't know this says you have no you are so ill. There's absolutely no remedy. You are so unconscious that you call unconsciousness consciousness and my entire life is dictated by my unconsciousness. There are people and I don't say this with judgment because I'm speaking to myself as well. We can live our entire lives, have strong opinions, do amazing things, and it's completely guided by an unconscious sickness that sits inside of me. And I completely I'm unaware of it. And it just dictates everything. It dictates my words, my thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my interactions, my and I don't even know that I don't know. I am completely blind. And not only that, I tell myself I'm idealistic. And I get good feedback from other sick people who are clueless. And I'm like, "Wow, I'm a really good guy." Like, look, look at this amazing feedback. I'm a really good guy. Sick people are giving feedback to a sick person. It's so funny, but it's tragic. Like, look at me. And I go to sleep at night and I say, "You know what? I'm a good guy." And I don't even know. And it's not my fault. I'm just I'm like a real desperate once you know it, it's like nauseiating. But it's like it's so easy to go in this into this space. And I so know about this space personally. It's like so easy to go here and and like people are like, "Wow, you're amazing. It's amazing what you're doing. Like you really you're the only one who's talking the word of God." So now I'm like God. like wow and the person is so neb so sick they're so traumatiz it's not even their fault it's really not their fault their nervous system is so in trauma they are so disassociated they are so disconnected I'm just thinking as I'm saying this how is this person even supposed to know that they're disconnected how are they supposed to know they don't huh right so the the the one way is when your people closest to you are giving you feedback that they're actually not enjoying your relationship. They're not enjoying your presence. That's probably the best thing. Not the world, not the world. The world will sick people will be attracted to sick people. It's fine. But ask the people closest to you. Like ask your kids, ask your husband, your wife, ask people who are very close to you and not interested in flattering you. They're actually interested in telling you the truth. Say, "How do you feel around me?" And if they're telling you, I actually close up around you. I don't trust you. There's something off. Like, just ask yourself what's going on. If you're channeling God, and that's just the beginning. You won't understand it from this because it's a lot of deep work and you're busily, you're hiding. I don't know. I don't know who's who's listening to me now, but I I understand this from my own experience. We are in a generation of a lot of sick people. It's nobody's fault. You could blame Hitler. You could blame Stalin. You could blame Gullis. It's really people mean well. They're trying. But we have become sick. A lot of us, a lot of us have become so sick. And those of us who are camouflaging as teachers, as sages, as rabbis, as healers, and we are so sick, but ask the closest people to you what they really feel about you, and listen to their response. Listen to their response, and then ask yourself, why is it that the closest people are not inspired by you? I know people far, people who listen to your podcast are very inspired by you. And they may even send a donation cuz you're amazing. But but it's funny, but it's so true, right? Ask the people closest to you. I guess that's one litmus test that God implanted in the world that can maybe save some of us. Even the people around you are telling you that you're amazing. I don't know what to say, but I don't think it's going to happen. So it's you're you're good. That's one one one of that's one point of deep truth. There's a there's the the bal of today he had three daughters Rabbi was his oldest daughter was Kana Kari his middle daughter was Rabbi's wife and his youngest daughter was Shaina. She was murdered, gazed in trebling with her wife, with her husband So, the Reb's wife passed away 1988. The Reb's wife, she passed away Tuesday night, the middle of the night was Wednesday, the 22nd day of that Shabas was Shabasim. So, the Reb would shabas. So, even it was the middle of Shiva. He was sitting Shiva for his wife. with and he set a mimer the mime began it's an incredible mimer it's the middle of his shiv and that said of art that was very very powerful the garra says in I think it is that zak when he was about to die he was about to pass away his students came into the home and started to cry. He started to cry. They asked him why you crying. So he said that uh >> yeah there's two p when a person passes away there's two paths. I do not know which path they're going to take me to down the path to paradise or the path to its purgatory. So how could I not cry? That's why I'm crying. And soon after that he passed away. The asked the question, how can it be that Zakai? Who is the Ni of the Sanhedrin? The Gomorrah says 40 years. He learned 40 years. He taught 40 years. He led the Jewish people. He was the Nazi during the Beni. He led Israel during the most devastating difficult time of the zaka was a legend in his lifetime. He really thought he may end up in Ghanam. I mean come on if he's not going to paradise who's going to paradise. He was not just a sadic. He was like the quintessential leader of the Jewish people and all the takas that we have today. Many of them were made by him. He was the one who led Clal from Bik toban and he did it gracefully. The Gmorra explains in gin who he was. He was an incredible person. So what did he mean really? He really thought he's going to end up in Gehenna. Like come on. Humility doesn't mean you don't know who you are. He knew who he was. His entire life was dedicated to God. Like if he's going to end up in in in purgatory like who's paradise made for? That was the question. So the Reb answered. It's an answer from doesn't refer to his behavior. It doesn't refer to his thoughts, to his words, to his actions, to his emotions. Was talking about his he said, I don't know where the essence of my soul is, my unconscious. I know where I live. I know what I do. I know what I think. I know what I feel. I know how I interact. And I know that's holy. But my nephesh any I don't know sometimes a person could be living an entire life but their core is somewhere else their entire life is alienated from their real core authentically I'm not here at that moment was so honest and vulnerable and introspective that he was saying I know who I am but I'm telling you the truth I don't know where the essence of my soul is because sometimes externally even consciously I may be living the most amazing beautiful holy noble moral religious Jewish spiritual life but it doesn't mean that's where my essence is doesn't mean that's what said I don't know and therefore I'm crying this is a mimer so theb in that mimer asked a question he said Okay, I get it. But if that's the case, that's a part of you that you don't have choice over. If it's something that you don't know about, you don't have contact with it. If you don't have contact with it, you don't have choice. So, what are you worried about? It's God's problem. If you don't know, you don't know. I'm going to blame you for not knowing what you don't know. I mean, what you want me to know? Tell me. It's such a deep part of my consciousness that I have no access to it. Okay. So why are you worried about it? It's God's problem. You made me who I am. I could know what I know. I can't know what I don't know. Why you Why you Why are you worried about that? It's his problem. It's not your problem. That's what the asked that the question. So he said is the from here we see that a person does have access to it. And how do you have access to it? They said through your grief, through your tears was crying. Not like everybody learns the gamari. He was crying because he was saying, "I'm guilty." It's the grief itself that put him in contact with that part of himself that he would have never known. And therefore he can actually heal it because through the grief through the tears you can actually come in contact with that part. So it's not that it's a part that don't have I don't have access to it. I have access to it. But the only way I will have access to it is if I'm ready to feel everything that's going on over there. What does this mean? It's something that is very very scary. It's scary. And we also have good words for it. The words are joy. You're a good guy. Makes sense. These are all good words, very holy words. But because of that, I never have contact with the part of me that is actually driving everything inside of me. That's what the Reb said in the middle of the shiv of his wife. You know this mime I was there. I was there. You knew this. Not knowing not knowing. So let's apply. What does this mean in our life? This is not an invitation that a person should not stop crying, but it's an invitation to the fact like the said, don't be afraid to see things. You're bigger than mitz. When we say don't look there, it's not because of our strength. It's because of our weakness. Because I'm afraid that if I look there, I'm going to melt. You're not going to melt. You're bigger. When you really know your infinity, you're not afraid of anything. You could look at everything. You're bigger. You're larger. you're more powerful. Now, it's easier to talk about this than to do this because talking about it is just words. Experientially, it's not simple. It's not simple to be able to come face to face with this part of me. It's not I know from my experience, it's not easy to go to this place. And as much as I experienced this, there's probably much more that I didn't experience. And that's where it's so easy to avoid. So we create religious coverups to avoid this space in the name of God because it seems so much more promising, so much more beneficial. Like what am I going to wallow as a victim in my endless grief? But this is not wallowing as a victim in your endless grief. This is about understanding and acknowledging that the more you could see the paralysis, the wounds, the disassociation, the pain that you cause the people closest to you in your life because they will give you the feedback. Ask them when you come home in the evening and your wife's hears your footsteps as you open the door. Ask her the truth. Does her heart expand or does her heart contrite? Did I just make up a word? >> I stand by what my English but okay fine. Does her expand like wow how lucky I am or it's like oh my god here we go again. Now you may say your wife has issues which may be true. Issues issues are issues. And you know between you and me it's probably true. She probably has some stuff just like you have stuff. She has stuff. No question. Still, still like the also said the says, you know the Yeah. When the witnesses come to Bezdon and they say, "What type of moon did you see?" And they say, "We saw a sliver." So they asked them, "What direction was the side of the light?" It's like a sliver, like a half a like a half a circle. What direction was the part of the light? Was it going up or was it going down? Huh? Right. And the answer is that if it was going up, they know that the witnesses are lying because never did the sun see a blemished moon. Why not? Because if the sun huh >> exactly if the sun is shining, the moon is receiving the light and channeling it. So if the sun on the bottom is light and up is dark, it's facing the moon. Something is off. So the only way you know the witnesses are true is it's only if the if the sliver is on top and the dark side is facing us because that's not facing the sun. So the makes a whole big of this. It's a basic astronomical fact. It's not so complicated. But the bos said no this is every mashia and every mabo. How do you know you're a real mashia? How do you know you're a real son? You never see the blemish of your moon. Why not? My moon is inadequate. She's insecure. She's problematic. She's traumatized. You know her mother. You know her grandmother. Should I tell you about my her grand her mother? I have this diagnosis. I got it. But you're not the son. You're a good guy, but you're not the son. You know why? Cuz if you're the son, what are you busy with? how wounded she is. Give light. Just give light. But this is the bump. This mish is like boom. The if you could say the bash have nailed it. Basically my trauma is being triggered by her trauma. And that's what's happening. If I'm not the sun, which is normal. I'm not the sun. I'm also a victim of my wounds. But if you're the sun, if you're a source of light, just give light. And if you give light, the other person reflects that light. The same is true with your children. If what I'm seeing is how problematic they are, I get it. But I'm not the sun. When you're really really the sun, you are so powerfully radiating so much infinite light. That's what they're reflect and that's what you see. So if I'm looking at you, I see the light. You know why I see the light? Because I'm giving that light. It doesn't mean you're naive and you're stupid, but it means you can see a dimension of the other person that they might not be able to see. How do we get into this? The sun and the moon. Ah, so the people closest to me really channel back and say something is off. Something my heart is not expanding when you come in. This is an opportunity to ask ourselves these questions. The world won't give you this feedback. The world will say, "You're an amazing guy. You're unbelievable." But ask the people closest to you because they will give you the feedback. They're the gift. They're your gift. And that's why you'll see that a lot of heroes for the world and celebrities, their families hate them. It's a very good litmus test because it's very easy to be a hero for the world. The world loves you, but the people closest to you are allergic and there's a reason for it. So this is all this you do have control with your but for that you have to be able to acknowledge your tears and your grief. >> Huh? The etsim is always good. The etsim but between and the manifestations there's a lot of layers. The etsum etsum is always good. But between the etsum and the manifestations is a lot of stuff going on. A lot of stuff. I could become the chief rabbi of the United States of America and Canada. There was a big rabbi in America and he whatever the police once stopped his chauffeur and because he was speeding and uh and the chauffeur said you know who I have in the back seat. This policeman said who? He said I have the chief rabbi of America and the man said Canada too. You understand? So yeah you could be the chief rabbi of America Canada. You could be a very very big mashpia. You can be a very very big rabbi. You can be a very very big rebi. You can be a very very big therapist. You can be a speaker, a teacher, a writer, an orator, a healer, a guru, a coach, uh what are the other words? A shaman. Uh whatever you want and everything together, but you're really a sick man. You're just a sick man. And your wife knows it and your kids know it. And therefore they they hate your guts. >> Your wife hates your guts. She's the only one who knows the truth. She knows you're a sick. It's not your fault. It's not your, by the way, it's not his fault. He's a sick man. He is so disassociated that he doesn't know how disassociated he is. It happened when he was three years old. It's mish not his fault. You have to understand and there's a lot and the only way he will get to it is through tears. He will not get to it through anything else. A lot of grief, a lot of lot of grief. I don't know why I'm saying this. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I'm saying it. Huh? Yeah. It's a lot of grief. And nobody will tell this to you. Go deep inside your soul and ask yourself if your nervous system is channeling God's bliss or not. And if it's not, it's a good litmus test. We have to heal. We have to heal. >> I guess by crying. >> I don't know if by crying we heal, but crying is acknowledging is just acknowledging what's going on. Just looking at just acknowledging he just cried. That's it. He acknowledged it. And acknowledgement is such a powerful moment because the moment you can acknowledge, you could say, you know what, it's actually a dime. >> It's actually a dime. >> Yeah. >> Listen, we're coming from Hitler. We're coming from Stalin. It's not small things. You have to understand the whole we learned what's the theme that there's real abandonment. It's not a joke. People don't understand this is not a joke. You see we the worst worse than abandonment is not realizing what abandonment is. We don't realize what abandonment is because we don't realize what connection is. The used to say once said if you don't know what if you never felt the pain of gullus you will never want guula. Why should I want goula? Gullus is gula. The only way you could want gula is if you peel the pain of gullis and then you even know that there's something called gula. If I'm living in my bubble and I turned it into a palace in the metaphor we discussed in a few sh I'm a chick and I'm living in my egg and my egg becomes my palace. So that's gula. The first symptom that there's something wrong is the beginning of cracking the egg. There's something off. I'm choking. something is off. But if I'm so sick that my sickness becomes my health, I don't even know there's anything off. I am healthy. I'm normal. You're crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy. And I want to say something. There are people who today who are so sick. And I'm really not judging them because I'll say it again. I was one of them. And they're making people who are working on themselves feel guilty. It's like just follow the normal path that we're following. And I want to say all the people that are doing the work, give yourself a standing ovation that your soul is not settling for fakeness,