Your Psychological Seder #2 - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet so the entire Seder of Pesach which consists of 15 steps is really a 15 step program towards inner and outer freedom emancipation and liberty we explored briefly the first four steps Kaddish or cots Carpathia cots and we move on to summarize the first step in Si there the first step in the ladder the first rung in a ladder that helps us reach a deeper place of freedom of Kairos of Liberty is Kaddish Kaddish of course means to make kiddush but in a broader sense it means I have to be able to designate I have to be able to designate time in my day space in my soul which is dedicated literally for introspection personal growth and being in touch with my soul with my inner core with my truer and higher self step 2 I wash my hands if somebody's hands are not clean if somebody actively lies if somebody is a dishonest person if somebody's hands are soiled from moral filth there's no growth the prerequisite of all growth is I have to be able to look in the mirror and have a clear conscience there are only two types of happy people people who have a clear conscience or people who destroy their conscience if you completely don't have a conscience then you're good to go it's just very hard to achieve that level especially if you Jewish but if you could theoretically get rid of your conscience you're great you can do anything since most of us can't in fact no human being really can when you're created but selam aleykum in the image of God is some conscience especially Jews who carry the burden of God in existence so I have to have a clear conscience or cuts step 3 karpas I take my vegetable and I dip it in the water the salt water or the vinegar or really any dip any dip is fine a liquid dip known as Karpis which on a spiritual level represents taking the body bowyer 8-3 hama which comes from Adama Adam from the word Adama Earth taking the physical body and not shunning the body not crushing the body not ignoring the body elevating it and dipping it into the water the waters of wisdom water represents wisdom water represents inspiration water represents a life force it's the life force that sustains man sustains animal sustains the world of botany the world lives from water we begin our life in water and the amniotic sac submerged in the water in the wombs of our mother the Gomorrah says ain't Miami Latoya I take my body and I dip it into those waters of wisdom of terror and inspiration I don't crush it but rather I guide it i elevate it the fourth step is the Alcott's which is taking a mots and breaking it now matzo represents humility breaking the matzo represents vulnerability in my humility if a person is not ready to have cracks for person is not ready to expose their vulnerabilities to themselves to God to a person they trust to people they trust ultimately there's no real room for liberation and growth if I always have to be perfect if I always have to be whole if I could never display any cracks I become a ponds eye tree which is the perfect perfect trimmed tree no weeds no thorns no branches growing the wrong way but of course nothing real about it everything is monic manicured pedicured and inauthentic indeed as somebody mentioned pawns I trees by definition don't grow tall they grow short because their roots are trimmed so people are always trimming themselves to be perfect can't really grow to their full heights their full potential it's interesting matzah itself is humility you would think humility is vulnerability but the truth is sometimes humility has its own arrogance people who walk around the world saying to themselves I'm humble and the humble the humility itself becomes another form of masqueraded arrogance so the humility itself also has to be broken challenged step 5 is Margot Margot literally means you say the Hagaddah the word mob it means you tell the story muggins from the word via god the telev insa you tell the story on that day telling the story one of the greatest steps in one's journey towards liberation is expanding our horizons through learning and more learning and more learning they once asked to do what's the difference between ignorance and apathy and he said I don't know and I don't care you see ignorant breeds apathy when I don't know I don't care when I learn I challenge myself I broaden my horizons one of the great challenges in people's lives is they learn certain information and they remain stuck there and their entire life just becomes playing out that original wisdom there's no newness so there's no creativity I never learn anything new I never even allow myself to learn anything new even if I could hear something new I feel compelled to fit it into what I know already or to reject it so that way I make sure that I don't learn anything new but the source of growth is maggot a person learning listening to the story telling the story going deeper into the story wisdom broadens arise horizons are broadened it stimulates thought it stimulates emotion it challenges our psyche it creates inquisitiveness and curiosity it challenges us to go out of the status quo to see things in a new way in a deeper way from a new perspective how Mahad is batula McCauley I'm Tom with massive erasers we say in Davin ink creation is not a one-time event creation is a perpetual event in other words every moment brings with it a new message and if all I have in life is my old message I'm not in tuned with the heartbeat of life that is present and available to me right now right now at this moment often in relationships especially people have a fixed story about their spouse a fixed story about their children I know who you are don't tell me after 20 years there's something else to discover about my wife about my husband about my child I know you like a book I know you better than you know yourself and that in a funny way or not in a funny way in a sad way sometimes is the greatest obstacle for any growth for any change I have a fixed perspective I have a fixed story and nothing will take me out of that but Magadh is the courage to be able to say I want to explore new things and the way we start Margot is the Gemara brings two opinions Ravin small do we start with a vada marino or do we start of Mithila over they have a dessert or how you are they say no for a chef Kevin Ohama cumavi dosa we do both do we start the story saying we were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt and God took us out or do we begin the story of Margot with saying in the beginning our forefathers were idolaters and now God brought us brought us to his work brought us close to serve to serve Him either opinion we do both the Mishna says Maskull big-nose Messiah mish-mosh you begin with the disgrace and then you conclude with praise either you begin with a dark experience we were slaves our forefathers were idol worshippers we begin with that because that is always the process of learning the process of learning is I discovered that I find myself in a more constraint in a more limited place and there's so much more to discover there's so much more to explore there's so much more to learn there's also a beautiful interpretation I saw from one of the salon Amir embassy says Mithila over there vedas are how you have a saying of action of kevanna Malcolm lobbied us in literally is translated in the beginning our forefathers Y dollar truth now God brought us close to his service but there's a deeper interpretation there are two philosophies in life one philosophy in life is Mithila one philosophy in life is asha maquila means the past action means now one philosophy in life is you're always looking at the past and the present is only a continuation of the past that is the path of the Vedas or Mithila of the Vedas are you obese Anil those who live in the past this is the path of idolatry the actual cave Anwar Malcolm lava dosa how do you know you're being close to God if you live in the now the power of now you live in the present moment this is the sign of cave on om welcome lava dosa there's something called now and because there's something called now there's always something new to discover you're never the same person that you were a moment ago if you can only see it that way your spouse is never the same person he was a moment ago if you can only see it that way your child is never the same person he or she was a day ago if I can only see it that way but I could only see it that way if I could see it in myself and when a person always learns new things they allow themselves to enlarge their perspectives frankly truth is in very many cases children learn new things once certain people reach a certain age they're not ready to learn anything new this is who I am this is what I believe don't confuse me with anything else when we sit in a lot of classes or share more lectures or whatever so sometimes there's really nothing new to learn that's the truth there's something that's really not learnt in fact I once asked advice from somebody a wise man so he told me he said I want to tell you something it was very interesting advice he said there weren't many teachers and many speakers at a certain point they learned and they were excited about what they said but then they already just remained stuck they have their stories their anecdotes their ideas their jokes and they just repeat it so I could jukebox you know you put in the quarter hopefully more than a quarter and and the information starts coming out after 20 years they are bored of themselves and you can hear that they're bored of their message because they're not stimulated and you can hear that this person is not being challenged by any new ideas like a robot he or she is repeating what they said the demanders says that some people are like monkeys so the cut score ever says what's shot the evolutionists have one explanation the cuts Grabavoy says what's prop monkeys mimic people he says sometimes people become monkeys they mimic themselves you mimic who you were 20 years ago you're not in touch with who you are today you're just copying what you were five years ago 10 years ago but life means today is new I don't know who I am today I still have to discover it maybe you want to help me discover it I once went to the Bahamas and he wrote to the psychiatrist he said I'm having a great time here I wish you would tell me why I have to be able to say I don't know who I'm not gonna copy what I did yesterday just because I did it yesterday today there's something called today the actual kevanna malcolm rava dosa so this man told me you have to always learn always challenge yourself always fresh water there's a major shrub a very interesting Madras Rama you know I don't know how many of you are into fishing especially the week before Pesach no okay I'm not this year you know fishermen know the best time to go fishing is right after arraigned after the rain the fish come to the top ask the med wish why the reason is because since it's raining the fish want the rain water they want the rain waters they come to the top to the surface of the Seas of the canals of the Brooks of the streams of the lakes in order to get water asks the Madras what do they need rainwater for they're submerged in water 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year it's raining big deal the answer the Midrash says is is a villain finish of us they want new water they're sick and tired of the water they're accustomed to 24 hours a day it's raining the fish are like wow new water I always tell teachers of Judaism don't repeat things you're bored of they heard it already don't tell say it they heard it and heard it and heard it people need fresh water I don't care if you say the same thing but it has to be fresh there has to be a sense of freshness of life a vibrancy in yourself and then you can give it to others so sometimes we learn new things till a certain age and then we get comfortable into a certain box and we don't really learn anything new whenever we hear information we do one of two things if it's information that we could fit in to preconceived ideas so we file it we have filing cabinets in our brain we use Google in our brain we take it we say this belongs to that which I know you put it into a certain box boom what if the teacher or the person is saying something that means it doesn't fit into the other boxes we dismiss that person we dismiss that person that way we remain secure in remaining ignorant that's what many people do children learn new things that's why children remember everything your child remembers something you said by mistake in middle of the night around eight and a half years ago in your sleep he still remembers it why because children actually listen because they listen they absorb we often don't listen we're busy critiquing either I have to file it or I have to rejection and reject it or I'm going to use it but it's very hard for me to actually listen so the step and growth that has to do with maggot step 5 is this concept the courage to always be able to revisit the story which now brings us to step number conditions carpets market step number six rocks ax washing your hands but you washed your hands already what happens now ah after you learn now you need to wash your hands again why here there's a different type of spiritual filth that could set into a person so that's why I have to wash my hands again what is it there's a very interesting statement of our sages there are 13 attributes of compassion known as youth gimel middle surah common they're recited by many communities every day not on the month of Nisan but every day especially during the days of sluicing especially on Yom Kippur it's from Paris Kisa the book of Exodus God tells Moses Hashem Hashem Kail Rokenbok on and Erica pine without cast members etc 13 divine attributes of empathy and compassion they begin with two names of God Hashem Hashem karoake Makana asks the Gemara the talmud entr'acte tricia shana page 17 why does it say Hashem twice so it says ani hashem coy dempsey after and near chinois Coshocton there is my compassion after you sinned and there is my compassion before you sinned the first Hashem which represents the attribute of compassion is precent the second a sham which represents the attribute of compassion is posts it asked all the commentators I understand why you need compassion after this sit but why do you need compassion before the senior haven't sinned what do you need rascal what do you need your outcome him before this sin before the sin everything is perfect so there are different interpretations one of the interpretation by the cut scarab and by the Synod show very rachels in the truth is as follows the commander brings it from his uncle knowing as the speakership signature of one of the great aesthetic masters over the nine early 19th century he says as follows when a person says they sinned but there's one advantage the advantages there usually if their arm is there have a humility there's a vulnerability when a person doesn't sin it's beautiful they haven't sinned but there's also a danger the danger is that you think you're perfect and when people think they're perfect oh they are very difficult to be in a relationship with when somebody walks around with the feeling of holier-than-thou you sin I don't sin this in many ways is the greatest sin because at least when somebody sins he says there's true vaduz repentance I could fix my mistakes but when I think I don't have mistakes when I think I'm invincible and I'm not touched with the human condition this has a unique challenge and imperfection in and of itself after Kaddish or shut Scarpa sockets Magid now I have to wash my hands was once a great master who came into his father as a young man a day after Yom Kippur and he says Tata was yest what do we do now day after Yom Kippur and he said yet stuff man airswitch over time now you have to edge to true ver there is the true ver for imperfection there is a deeper chuhwa for perfection that's a different type of true ver and a truer for perfection is someone as much harder than repentance for imperfection when I'm imperfect I know I'm imperfect I'm human I'm normal I'm authentic I'm honest when I have this aura of perfection the inability to be able to be real to be able to be human I walk around with this mask of holier than everybody else now I need a special rock song the one who's after magnet who learnt and acquired all the knowledge sometimes with knowledge people become very very arrogant there are knowledgeable people not only does the knowledge not to refine them the knowledge makes them a lot more coarse why because now they can use their knowledge for to justify their unrefined behavior and even not to justify their knowledge just becomes a source of tremendous pompous Ness they walk around with this attitude of arrogance which really real knowledge makes you humble but if you don't have real knowledge if you have pseudo knowledge or you have a certain element of knowledge some people actually the knowledge makes them much worse the Gemara says a masochist kindness there are two types of people who learn Toyota fast fascinating thing the Talmud says very deering some people learn tire and nice alloys some Cayenne it becomes a medicine of life and some people could learn tire and nozzoli some novice it could become a poison a deathly poison the rabbi's felt that a Jew could learn Torah and not only does it try to not enhance them the tyre becomes poisonous the tire itself becomes a killer it becomes lethal now that the tire itself is lethal nice alloy some of us for them it becomes lethal you can have a medicine for one person it saves his life another person it destroys his life depends who the person is it's not that the medicine is a horrible medicine depends on your condition the person is allergic to something of a person can't deal with it whatever it is sometimes if I'm not a refined person I didn't wash my hands again what happens is they're very tire itself becomes a missile it becomes a missile a tool to cover up insecurity to cover up shame to cover up fear to cover up arrogance etc but to express arrogance we now come to step number seven so the more learn it the more knowledge the more spiritual development you have to make sure your hands are clean again that's the second rocket after the first drawer after the first workshops you come to step number seven is might see what does weight C mean literally it's called might see because we make the blessing might seal a sermon I might seal a seminar it's you wash your hands a second time you sit down at the table you take the matzo and you make a blessing I'm going to see let me know it's like we do every Shabbos on Yom Tov every Shabbos and yump if we do it on two loaves of bread on Pacers we do it on one and a half matzah sore two and a half Marxist you always have two holes on Pesach some say around them says one and a half Rashi says two and a half but whatever the situation is I'm making a mood see on the matzah the next stages be Matson might see matzo I'm gonna fulfill the myths of eating matzah but now let's take it let's examine it from an emotional or psychological perspective the Shido rights that might see literally means extract takeout might see in Hebrew how might seal a caminar it means he extracts he takes outright like Heights all la Hoyt sea to go out to take out might see means to take out at this stage of life might see I learn how to be able to extract to take out the divine sparks and opportunities and everything in the world there are philosophies and religions that believe in shunning the world they believe that materialism is inherently evil the body is negative money is the source of the devil physicality is amoral pleasure is the worst thing that ever happened and their approach is one of asceticism but Judaism has a very nuanced approach might see it believes that in everything in the world there are sparks called meatsuit solution in fact not only are there sparks but those sparks are really the vital energy of God that gives it to us everything in the world exists because of the divine energy that gives it life that divine energy represents its ultimate purpose and constitutes its innermost design those are called in it suits us the spark the spark is not just a mandarine strange abstract term and it suits as it really means when Hashem thought that something should exist those thoughts those words that created it that will of Hashem that it should be why that he wanted to exist creation follows a why the why of everything those are the sparks of the think understand everything has a divine purpose if it doesn't have a divine purpose it wasn't here but I don't always know the divine words I just see it if I could appreciate the why of it i extracted the holy sparks of it I seized the divine energy and potential and opportunity in this thing this is true about a piece of food it's true about a jacket it's true about an iPhone it's true about a cup of coffee it's true about an mp3 player it's true about a piece of jewelry it's true about a video camera and it's true about the furniture in my house it's true about relationships and it's true about making money it's true about making food and it's true about raising a family every single component in life as physical and as material as it may be has divine Sparks is a divine purpose there yes sometimes the divine purpose is to help me flex my muscles and say no that's like for me carbs and sugar that's the divine purpose to say no I usually say yes but the divine purpose is to say no so sometimes the purpose in it is for you to say you look great but you're not for me you're somebody else's should like a piece of cheesecake or whatever it is you're great your sparks are wonderful they're just not for me somehow we don't belong together you know sometimes you date somebody he's a great guy just not for you you said you're a great guy and I'll hook you up with my friend which is what a lot of Jewish women love to do I have somebody good for you but that's for me there's a lot of sparks in you but you have to know what suits you so what doesn't suit yourself non kosher food for a Jew everything has divine sparks a horse would not live without the divine energy and even a double-rocker wouldn't live without the divine energy but I cannot extract its holy sparks if I eat it I can ride the horse I can ride the camel I can ride the donkey I can't eat it other foods I can eat in fact that is the meaning of the word mutter and uh sir let's go a step deeper how do you always translate and base Yaakov when you grew up or any school bicycle buy soda by significant buys karma whatever it is I don't mean to discriminate against any wonderful school how they attract silly what does motor mean what does motor mean permitted us are forbidden really in Hebrew motor means untied uh sir means tied like base historian is a prison right malahat here Matthew in healthy Shabbos is untying so why is something forbidden call tied the answer is because my hands are tied behind my back I can't eat it it's shrimp I can't eat it I'm in the airport I'm starving I forgot to take my doggie bag there's a wonderful crust around with with hot dogs my hands are tied Oh sir I'm in prison I can't eat it mutter means my hands are untied I could eat it that's a more superficial explanation there's a deeper explanation that the Tonya gives it's not talking about the person it's talking about the object there are two types of food there's a food that's untied and there's a food that's tied what's the difference a food that's untied it means the sparks are loose I can extract them I can eat them I can eat it and sublimate the spiritual energy of it Oh sir means that the object itself is so to speak trapped the sparks of God have to remain inside I don't have the ability to sublimate it through eating it what do I have to do I have to be able to say no and that itself is how I allow it to reach its purpose by saying no some things in the world are made for you to be able to say no but many things in the world have tremendous opportunity so the challenge of Judaism is not to shun to run to crush to become a detached ascetic and sanctify it no might see at this point in life at this point I have to be able to extract to be might see to take out the opportunities the divine potential in everything I come in contact with sometimes it's very very physical but if I have the right perspective after cottage earth cats car pass yeah that's Margot Rock so I could be might see I seized the opportunity and everything I don't have to run away from it I don't have to detach which now gives me the next step which is matzah max of courses deflated bread we all know comets is inflated as a result of the leaven the rising which is basically the enzymes that are produced as our dough's rise it becomes from a chemical I mean from a chemistry point of view something happens which makes a comet's it makes at leaven which represents the inflated ego the sense of pompous nests and arrogance Matz's bland Matz's flat mats as humble extract opportunities in everything but don't become most impatient a person has to be able always to have balance a person has to be able to know who I am and voice we extract the opportunities but matzah means I maintain perspective not everything not a perp sometimes people in the name of extracting opportunities they go over the top to the point that they become what's the word in English flow flow flow when you have to show off flaunt yeah you don't have to flaunt Jakov told his children llama to throw dignity has to come from within dignity is not created through other people validating me so yes Judaism doesn't believe in a life where you have to torture yourself and shun the world might see used opportunities but matzah do it in a humble way do it in a sensible way do it in a kind way do it in a respectful way do it in a way that brings honor to your true self not in a way where sometimes a person ceases every opportunity and just because they can do it they have to be able to do it that balance between might see and matza are crucial to a liberated life which now brings us to the next step which is more now Mara is a very interesting part of the Seder I know one they all look forward to if you have a good husband he gives you a little piece of lettuce and he says that's enough if not he puts in a lot a lot a lot of white horseradish and he uses you love Maria really you do it all year okay Wow with gefilte fish okay but I'm pacing you know do it would you filter fish right well let's think about the motor for a moment when was the first time the Jews ate motor the night of Pesach before they left miss Ryan the diet that they had the first say there was the night before they left Egypt they had a say there in Egypt and at that seder they ate the Passover offering which was either a goat or a sheep and they ate what else they ate matzah and the a tomorrow why did they eat the pace of offering that was the sheep they offered it was actually the deity of the egyptians they ate the matzah which ultimately would represent the bread of affliction and the bread of liberty why did they eat martyr so cos all tell us God said to eat morrow safe Olivia Maru was hi a.m. because their lives were embittered by the Egyptians so they ate this bitter food now I ask you a question I understand that today living in the 21st century in the United States of America and thank God we have been blessed with so many blessings that our ancestors didn't even dream of so you say middle of the Seder table the middle of the Seder experience takes a martyr and eat it and remember the bitterness of Egypt but the Mitzvah of Mara was given to the Jews who were in Egypt the night before they left God tells them to eat more isn't that a mockery of reality illustration it's April 1945 the Allies come in to the death camps and liberate them the survivors are there I don't have to describe to some of you what they look like some of some people in this room know this very well what they looked like what they felt like now somebody who Moses would come to them and say wait wait here is a little crane eat horseradish so you'll remember what the SS did to you really the horseradish is gonna remind me what I went through really is this a joke first of all no horseradish in the world will even constitute a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the endless agony and suffering they endure it besides the fact that suffering was so fresh in their minds I understand that we eat morrow why did they eat martyr in Egypt these are the Jews who went through the Exile these are Druze who watched their children being thrown into the Nile these are Jews who were whipped and beaten and oppressed that's not a new generation these are the Jews who left Egypt the ten plagues happened just a few months before they were in the midst of a horrible exile so Mauritius says you have to eat more tonight why why hey Maru as I am seems like a cruel joke you never thought about this question right isn't this a good question it's a cruel joke no Maura didn't eat even we when we eat Maru I for me remembering all those myths Ryan especially when you eat only the romaine lettuce you get away with murder huh the juicers gonna make it that I make it but the Jews who in Egypt and we're going out tomorrow had to eat martyr I'm asking they have to remember and this is how you remind them they didn't have to remember happened days before months before years before the truth is they didn't need Mara to remember anything of course and even our Mara as you know doesn't exactly remind us of what the Jews have been through in Goldsmith's triumph or and other experiences but it represented a certain truth it represented a certain idea and that is there are two different approaches to pain and we can understand and appreciate both of them I'm gonna call it the approach of many Eastern European Jews and the approach of many Americans even though I don't want to generalize and you have all types and categories but I know I came from a family I come from a family of Russia some of you also come from Russian family some of you come from other families in Eastern Europe and the rule was you don't talk you don't talk I call it emotional constipation you keep it inside you smile then you have the American Way you don't stop talking you go to therapy you go from the gym to yoga from yoga to Pilates from Pilates to therapy the therapist number one you go out for lunch a little more exercise you walk around the lake you go to therapist number two if you can afford it if you can then you go to therapy for that well at least you have to have friends you who don't charge you who don't charge it's a different approach you know there used to be my dad Missourian my prayer books for shoshone in Kippur where at certain points it says Kahn sorry cliff guys here you have to cry imagine the speaker gets up and says by the way guys right now you should laugh a comedian who has to do that is bad news it's bad news what about somebody who gets up and tells an emotional story and by the way everybody should start crying come on if it's emotional you don't have to tell me the sob right and if not what is it gonna help me okay what's a cancerous lift guys here you have to cry what type of ridiculous since the destruction is this I never understood it I once asked an older Jew he told me something I grew up in America how can I understand it for some of us the greatest crisis was when you can't find the car keys or there's a mouse in the kitchen a mouse in the kitchen that stuck to the greatest tragedy yeah that's a real crisis yeah Baruch Hashem barra Hashanah that's the real crisis so this year Tommy says you don't understand he says the Jews who lived then if they wanted they could cry 24 hours a day seven days a week if they opened the faucet they would not stop crying but they didn't you have to live so at some point in the master they said cancerous live this it was near it wasn't an issue you know you'll never understand he said it wasn't fake said hey let it out so there's generally two approaches to extremes one extreme is you got to live you move on what happened we don't talk about it it's an approach some of us grew up in such homes we don't talk about it it never happened somebody told me the other day they had a sibling who died they never knew about it they were born after their parents suffered terribly but you don't talk they found out about it at the age of 40 by mistake and he comes to his father he says why didn't you tell me he wouldn't even answer it was an approach I'm not judging I was pokin ascaris i'm telling you an approach where you don't talk why they meant well they said you have to live if we start going back excavating digging up the pain the anxiety the sorrow we'll end up there there's a mimic by something when they leave a cemetery they tear out some grass and they throw it back in other words I have to be able to leave it behind because if I read me if I don't leave it behind I may end up emotionally also in a cemetery like some people do but I bam have to live then you have another approach which in America became very common and that is you got a talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk tell it to me come on punch me in my face express it tell me how much you hate my guts tell me how I destroyed your life tell me how I am the source of everything contentious problematic in your life tell it to me let it out you like it did I do it well no okay you want me to start probably just let it out you know the mice there were three Jewish women who met in Palm Beach Florida you know Palm Beach yeah that's where you could go for a tour of column a if you want to see Jews in their natural habitat if you want to see Amish in their natural habitat you can go to Pennsylvania do you want to see Jews you go to the Hamptons or Palm Beach so so in any case some Jews in Muncie also you could see them in their natural habitat certainly when spring and summer arrives so these three women are sitting you know sipping I don't know latte what are they drinking Palm Beach latte works okay and and of course what do you do all do you - your mama's talk about I mean there's one conversation and that is Damascus from the Kindle ah you know the Marcus or the heartache of the children or the grandchildren so one says that you know my child Anaka is unbelievable we had a birthday party my 85th birthday he took the entire family on a cruise in the Pacific for ten days he paid for it to honor me the other one says there that's nothing my BAE Bella from my 90th he bought me a beautiful home in the West Coast so I should be able to live the remainder of my life in Pleasant weather not New York with sugar no weather nice Pleasant weather where everybody is serene and relaxed 365 days a year stress-free paid of the mortgage beautiful place with full-time help and the third one says that's nothing the first one accrues a second one a whole big deal one-time expenses I'll tell you the nachus I get from my boychik this is already not as that's going on for 30 years you see he goes to a therapist twice a week each session lasts an hour each session costs him $385 and all he talks about is me now that's nice that's Marcus where do you have such a relationship okay right so I was a psychiatrist once told me very very interesting idea he said I had two patients today one hour and next hour one was a Jewish kid a Jewish teenager one was an Italian the Jewish kid comes in he sits down all he spoke about is how his mother is a control freak every two hours are you all right I said no I died what's going on I tell her I'm okay what do you mean you're okay you don't sound good she doesn't stop leave me alone leave me alone let me live my life I'm a big boy ma leave me alone he leaves the Italian kid comes in what's your issue he says if only my mother would care a little bit he's in college his mother calls him up how you doing he says I'm fine she says great boom she says why does he ask questions what do you mean you're great what's going on so a psychiatrist tells me if only I could swap mothers if I can give him this mother and give him the other mother the Jewish mother how you doing okay great bye call you in a year it won't work sucks tone okay everything disappear to tell you educated intelligent people have been around the block eight nine ten times what the right way is but there's the concept of murder whenever you repress pain and you don't deal with it you don't talk about it it comes out it comes out in different ways but it comes out and it's it's on us on the other hand somebody who doesn't stop expressing it often becomes consumed by you there's nothing else in the world is there a balance what's the balance Judaism's very profound and sensitive approach was murder in middle of the Seine there you take out tomorrow the murder is a time that you focus on the pain you focus on the challenges you focus on the difficulties and now I asked you a piece of horseradish yes what you described was trying to almost graphically illustrate was you have to be able to take the pain and give it a sacred place a sacred moment consolidated in the piece of martyr and realized that there is room for it there was a lot of room for it I have to honor it respect it feel it I can't always get rid of it cleanse it and have any answers and then I have to be able to have the courage and say and now I'm going to live the night before they left Egypt not later Hashem said I want you to remember everything that happened but I don't want you to remember it to the point where it will paralyze you forever here is the morrow dedicate space consolidate the pain almost like a Kodak moment remember those consolidated not know what I'm talking about all over Shalom music Gaddafi is kadosh it was something called Kodak he was a great great guy we loved him we developed him we cultivated him he developed us and then he just disappeared from our life with the Kodak Company ok together with rotary phones together with writing a letter and putting a stamp and proper English where you is spelled y-o-u is there anybody who still writes like that no ok I got a full page letter I got a two-page letter that day from a woman in gate sent I'm like opening it up and I was just marveling remember in camp you would get a letter and you would like sit an hour just looking at the envelope and looking at the stamp and then taking out the letter right and they're reading it 200 times today between texts and emails forgotten art the murder is almost like a Kodak moment like consolidated and objectify it don't run from it don't repress it don't deny it honor it respect it and when you have to cry you cry and we have to weep you weep because the journey to redemption goes through exile and exile is often heartbreaking and pain is often inexplicable and there's not always the words with explanations to rationalize and sugarcoat it and say oh it's just wonderful everything is so nice yes if it would happen to you it's beautiful often people have justifications for somebody else's life they always know oh of course it's good everything is for the good I remember I got a very profound education in human nature when I was sitting Shiva for my father the Commons that some people make and I used to I asked my sisters I say we're does this brilliance create it who makes such people do they still make him this way to some of the best most bright comments at least he's in a good place now you know that comment or you must be relieved of course very relieved I was once at a Shiva Widow lost her husband he had a heart problem and he went for a heart transplant that failed and he died during the surgery she pressured him to go for the transplant so this person comes in and says you must regret pressuring him to go to the transplant and I look at this person and I say you know I was always looking for a master of brilliance this is incredible yes people people sometimes they know they have explanations for everybody and everything they know why we're what when you ever hear sometimes cause personal tragedies happen people get them they know exactly why it happened and it's usually the woman's fault whatever it is this this is this I asked her how do you know God told you God told you what are you always blaming the women for what do you blaming the poor women for everything how do you know so Marla represents that idea that there's two aspects I could completely repress and I could completely get overwhelmed and I can't judge either the maybe the one of the greatest miracles of history I have seen it and I still see it over again is and we often take it for granted and that is there was a whole generation of survivors scarred bruised wounded to their core some of you grew up in homes where people screamed all night during their sleep they couldn't recover from Auschwitz Birkenau travelink mi Dominick Bergen Belsen etc Dachau Bell's ik they couldn't recover from it a father a mother lost eleven children ten children five children how they supposed to recover but look the majority of them came out got married built families built communities and to the best of their ability recreated life I ask you is there any miracle in human history that comes close to that miracle it's one of the greatest miracles of existence no they were not perfect no they will haunted by demons that none of us will ever understand no they were haunted by ghosts and skeletons and horrors and nightmares and day and day day experiences that most American born people thank God can't even begin to understand the movies the films the documentaries that the the marches that we see or experience don't tell the story I once visited a survivor maybe some of you read his book some of the best books on the Holocaust it's a pseudo name cuts ethnic a man named could set Nick he testified during the IceMen trial in 1961 he fainted during his testimony he was at Auschwitz for two years his real name was yet healed inure he wrote books if you dish in English and Hebrew called Katz ethnic oh yeah is here he has a book called the house of dolls he has books on the Holocaust that are incredible read they're good mark honk in any case I met him once in his apartment in Tel Aviv we spoke for a few hours at the end I took out a camera this is the Kodak days and I was about to take a picture he said no no I said why not he said if you'll take a picture you will look at the picture and you will think that you took a picture of Auschwitz of an Auschwitz survivor but there's no such a thing as a picture you don't take a picture of me he wouldn't let me take a picture it was such a lesson don't think you have a picture you too have no picture these people may be the greatest generation of Jewish history went and rebuilt life and to the best of their ability they gave their children love nurture okay for some of them nurture meant saying eat eat eat eat whenever I went to my grandmother's home she was at sudeikis it was one thing s s my kid s you ate I ate up the whole box of tom-toms s mer NOK Akiko Ngoc Akiko this was a way of expressing affection eat and eat till you can't breathe they grew up in starvation what can they give their children and grandchildren endless food we grow up with endless food what we need is a little love a little confidence we don't need the food we have food coming out everywhere we eat too much I don't mean you I mean we as we the masculine I'm talk about the masculine gender not the feminine gender certainly present company excluded I'm just looking I see myself here in the video so you see the screen is reflecting me so in any case this is a very profound idea with Maurer how did the Jews did it do it how'd the Jews do it many of them understood the secret of Marah they understood their responsibility is to live with high Burhan to create a new generation there was such a deep unshakeable commitment to faith and to life that is incredible and yet the morrow teachers don't deny don't repress the time for murder there's a time to grieve there's a time to weep learn how to consolidate it do we develop a perfect balance we don't we're humans we fail and we get up again and we fail and we get up again the secret is in moments of pain we don't have to understand we can't try to figure it out as a puzzle we have to allow ourselves to experience what we're experiencing and not judge everything we're Jews we love judging every emotion somebody asked me what's the definition of a Jew I said if he doesn't feel guilty he blames himself you can't blame yourself for every emotion you have to let it be and you have to ride the wave the surfers water the the those who the masters of watersports know you don't fight the wave you go with the waves you have to use the waves as a source of navigation the waves go up and the waves go down Marah also represents the ability for empathy empathy means the ability to be able to feel somebody else's pain and not put it in context not give explanations not judge it and not tell them what to feel and why to feel just be here be present don't tell me how to feel and how not to feel and why to feel and why God did it you're not God you don't know God your job is not to figure out why God there your job is to be here for somebody that's part of murder the ability to feel the his my Monroe's murder from the word my readers Morrow comes no word me readers Maurice means the ability to feel the pain that to empathize with somebody's frustration which now brings us to the next step which step are we holding conditioner has carpus Yaphet smuggled rocks it might seem odd similar with step number 10 Kyra what's chorus chorus is a sandwich now let's face it the olden sandwiches used to be good today they don't make sandwiches like they used to make it que nos a Hillel it was a shwarma rap not suami al and shot lamb chops what did he'll put in chorus paid staff matzo Mario was a sandwich good boy it was two pieces of answer with lamb chops I don't know if he had some mustard and barbecue sauce depends on the good Brookes issue we're not gonna go there at the moment okay but hello had a layer lamb chops matzo Marta was gosh mark instead a barbecue sauce he had more instead of a wrap he had matzah I hear our sandwiches let's face it could use some help they can use some up we got rid of the lamb chops we have the mops on tomorrow okay hopefully this year we'll have the pace of the moths and the morrow as well but what does it represent what's the idea of the sandwich the idea of the sandwiches in life there are three different types of experiences pacer matzo Morrow Pesach is roasted barbecued meat either from the goat or from the land it has a smell it has a taste it's an aristocratic royal delicacy matzo is bland it's not delicious it's not horrible even though most Jews I know have to say that they eat that much they say the matzo this year is wonderful but you and I know that they're lying through their teeth and I once told somebody it's wonderful I want to see you serving it at your son's Bar Mitzvah I never saw you at your wedding you served matzah the centerpiece of the reception and the Viennese table matzah on your dead body you won't feed much said you'll sue the caterer so stop telling me it's wonderful it's eatable it's stale all matzah stale by definition it's the same matter than a 3,300 years ago how can it not be stale and then you have more Mario besides you Mario for most of us is bitter there's three experiences in life Pesach matzah murder you have moments in life that are fatty - mock delicious royal like a rich aristocratic barbecue of meats whether you eat me no you don't meat but it represents prosperity expansiveness wealth and a time a very powerful rich taste sometimes too rich that's why lamb chops are expensive pays to go to the mill toka restaurants matzah is bland martyr is usually everyday has three dimensions to it there's parts of the day that I like ah delicious this is what makes life worth living there's parts of the day that I blend you know like 4:00 in the afternoon kids are about to come home you know that feeling the terror didn't start yet it's it's coming there yeah the singer says it's not dark yet but it's getting there it's just bland you know you're exhausted you're tired you know those feel and then there's Mara Mara means bitter moments difficult moments there's generally three types of life three types of people there are people who are delicious people there are people you meet them and you don't forget them there's people you meet them and they're inspiring they have a light about them and there's people you meet them and they're like bland like okay and then there's people you also never forget them because they have a bitterness there's people that are bitter they're bit did I mention it's called the Rouge inner says says impartial traveler your foolishness Mayan Kim Miriam Haim the Jews could not drink water because they were bitter he says it's not the water was bitter they were bitter bitter people everything they taste is bitter they're called chronic complainers in English you know such people whatever you do is not good enough and sometimes we are those people to ourselves if I'm bitter whatever I eat this bitter never acted there's nothing good some people they go on a vacation everything is good beautiful vision beautiful view beautiful sight everything is perfect they have to complain there's almost no remedy it's like there's nothing I can do that will make you relaxed it chronically you just hate yourself you're a better person if you have this it's very difficult if achill to live with such people - it's not easy it's not easy you can't judge people because you have to understand where they come from and etc and his ways to deal with it but it's not easy but sometimes in one day I have all three types in yourself there's moments of the day you're empowered you're driven there's like an aroma to life there's a taste left then this mom is just bland like you almost you're going you know I don't know like wrote yeah it's like we you know it's fine it's fine the mats is wonderful one of those and then there is more difficult moments at this step in life you have to be able to make a sandwich you have to be able to create a sandwich of Pesach matzah murder you have to understand that all three are essential to the story of life where what happens is some of us function in one situation and in other situations we just shut down the ability of Kairos is after I follow the other steps I can create perspective for each one of them and understand that wherever I am there is an opportunity for growth the baal shem tov says on the pasok an incredible interpretation parshas Muskaan and moshe says will be cached them me Sean as hashem elokenu you will search from there he says you'll be in exile will be cached and me Shama session will occur omatsu so you'll find him says the Martian what does it mean me Sean he says people are always thinking to themselves that they're gonna search for God elsewhere he says no me shum wherever you are even if you're in a very lowly place or be cash to me some as I have a look at over there there's an opportunity that mood that you're in that experience you're in if you could again find the spark you'll see that there is a moment it as an opportunity here there's an awareness that this experience can bring forth in your soul and if you can identify it and define it rather than it defining you you're a free person it's true with personalities symbol means a community similar is an acronym what's aboard that she does says Siddiq him bein a name or a Shia we don't have perfect pawns I trees people think they're gonna create schools where all the kids are the same the world can't live that way we need cross-pollination you know with cross-pollination is there not have cross-pollination we don't have the whole world of botany you need different people contributing different energies to the world cross-pollination in education in families and schools and communities see board the Gemara says call kindness shame by me punishing you stroll in a kindness if you exclude some Jews from a fast community day it's not that it's not it's not a tightness you need to pay stuff you need the matzo you have Jews who are very excited about their Yiddish kind you have Jews who are bland about their duties and they're just robotic and you have Jews who are bitter they're bitter about religion they're bitter about God you probably have kids that way you have teenagers who are mamas flying high now the teenagers come home right some of them I'm Amish like inspires and some of them and then some you know the four o'clock in the afternoon they're still sleeping you know what I mean and they give you an added to it the attitude it's more it smarter for the mother even more than for the teenager father goes to work so it's fine he comes home at that eight the kid is up already but the mother is home you know it's not so easy that ability to be able to gain perspective to realize there's a sandwich the sandwich includes Pesach matzah martyr and the stand that everyone is on a different journey and different opportunities come up that teach us a lot of things that's what choruses okay since we're holding at a point of the seder where everyone is tired already that's actually before the meal so now people get excited but usually the end of the Seder hopefully in your house to the pace or they still craps it out like till 3:00 in the morning some people think it's a commits v''e to hold everybody captive in mitzrayim till they finish 12 o'clock eft africana thank God because if not my say there would still be continuing okay but not the second night second night some people go and go and go yeah okay Vulcan IRA Schultz and Irish means a prepare table shulchan aruch represents two elements number one is a prepare table means a person comes to the recognition you know imagine you would walk into your house and the table was set Shulkin IRA would be nice the table is set children are means literally table is set it's an ability in fact the word for the code of Jewish laws called shulchan aruch why it's a set table the objective of those who wrote the Shulchan Aruch abuse of Cara the base Joseph there are ma the other sultan Oryx it was literally to give Jews a set table before that you came into Judaism and you have to create the whole meal you have to look for the right ingredients you have to know where to look you have to get the pots you have to cook yet the roast you have to prepare then you have to set the table then you have to put the food and then you can eat some people can do it a lot of people can do it so the Shulchan Aruch the job was here's a set table come in is the appetizer here's the main course here is the dessert sit down all you need to do is take a fork take a spoon take a knife make a bracha make a blessing and eat the objective of the Shulchan Aruch was Shabbos you want to know what - Duke here's the list set table what does this mean on a spiritual level it means the ability for a person to be able to look at their life and see that it's a show tomorrow it's a table that's set by Hashem it's a table that set up by God for them to be able to sit down and grow nurture themselves enjoy feed themselves and feed others so canary has also the ability to create a sensitivity and an appreciation for a prepare table for other people for hospitality free people know how to be hosts slaves don't know how to be hosts we see it right away into how God in the beginning what's the first thing we say in the Haggadah called the fin yes the vehicle whoever wants come and eat now I ask you isn't that funny you come home for sure you close the door you say whoever wants come and eat go sane and show big you come home you already filled up your CT whoever wants come and eat who's supposed to hear you go to shul and say call this fingers in like oh you don't want to do it there cuz three people are gonna come isn't that an interesting thing you like to do you say whoever wants come to my house tell me now to come to your house I'll come anybody the truth is of course he's supposed to invite people in shul not in the house they're not there to invite them but we're making a mess it was stating a message the message is the sign of a free person is that he or she is capable of sharing and giving if I'm not free I have to take everything for myself from a free person I have the power to give it psychologically also true people who don't feel their own value could never give because they always have to take and take and take they're starving for validation if I have a bottomless pit of lack of confidence I need compliments from everybody I need constant validation I need everybody in the world to tell me that I'm a great guy please don't forget why because even that because the person has this endless anxiety and even that doesn't help it's a bottomless pit it can't get filled because nobody else could fill it only you could fill it with your own soul and your own God nobody could fill somebody else's bottomless but we can help but we can't fill it free people people who are wholesome they have the mental space and the luxury to be able to give so Hanoi is there for men's an appreciation literally for guests an appreciation for hospitality a woman once told me that she's it's very hard for her to have guests on Shabbos jumped if I said why Jennifer I said why she says my parents used to have endless guests but whenever the guests would leave whenever the guests would leave two things would happen they would talk about them and it was like a relief she said I said what do I have to have guests and resent it and then talk about them and like thank god they're not I'm not gonna do it to myself remember children are very sensitive - ah so circle doesn't only mean to have physical guests it means to be able to appreciate people it means to be able to genuinely shear to genuinely make people comfortable and let's face it there are hosts who know how to be hosts and there are hosts who don't know how to be hosts whenever I come to somebody's house they say make yourself comfortable I say the most comfortable is if I have access to the refrigerator don't serve me you're never gonna figure out what I like let me go and take everything if you can't why you if you want me to be comfortable you want me to be uncomfortable I'll sit by the table like this like a marine I won't move and you'll serve me and you'll resent it and I'll resent it and I'll say borrow crush em I had a great time and I'll leave and I'll say boring with Ronnie thank God get me to my own house where I have access to the refrigerator so my wife will lock it up there are hosts in their house let's say there are hosts - it's not even the food some people today think that you impress hosts by serving endless food nine course meals it's not the food it's the energy it's the ambiance it's the spiritedness yeah you need a couple you need some food oh so it's my fart even it's far drusen without food I'll commit suicide but still okay Hospital and Leah Hara but still what you want is the energy silk America the next step is always exciting it's called soften you know what's often means hidden what's hidden this is what happens at this stage in life at this stage in life the hidden skeletons come out always when you progress to a certain point new stuff come out and it's very easy to get disappointed and discouraged why because now you're dealing with things that you never had to deal with you think it's a sign of regression really it's a sign of progression the system in life is if I'm armwrestling with somebody when I'm about to defeat them they must or more strength and they come back whenever a person peels off a lot a lot of layers more layers emerge soft one is things that are concealed that emerge in people's lives that never emerged and yet if you have the ability to be able to stay focused you understand that this is a process of Liberty not a process of enslavement it's an opportunity to deal with things that were hidden that you never dealt with and it happens at this stage in life down the line a lot down the line and a person is almost discovered like why is this happening precisely because you reach so much success inner things come out that I have to deal with there's also another element in Suffern Suffern is now a Hyneman why is it called hidden because it was hidden a whole Seder where was it the beginning of the Seder we broke the matzah the larger piece went into hiding if your kids stole it wonderful if you hit it you hit it and it was softened now you bring it back to the table what does this represent the mats is a symbol for the Jew the Jews are matzah why the matzah represents the wandering bread with which we wandered and we left Egypt in haste that's what we didn't have time to let the dough rise my history with selfish love is saintil documents it's the bread of faith it's the bread that represents the Jewish journey the matzah needs two things the marks has to be whole and the matzah has to be flat humble not flare inflated the two prerequisites for matzah but often in life the matzo breaks the Jewish people are splintered the matzo separates 300 years ago after the French Revolution and the French and the European enlightenment the matzah gang splintered most of the marks are left to say the table sometimes a very small part of the mots that remains at the Seder table if you look at the Jewish people you'll see many many Jews maybe most Jews feel a very small connection to the Seder table I don't only mean to say that they'll most Jews celebrate Pesach but I mean Jewish life Jewish consciousness Jewish learning Jewish observance very small identification at some point they felt that their success and Happiness lay elsewhere not around the table of Torah not around the table of Jewish life of observance and a very small piece of the matzah stayed at the table and that small piece of the matzah continued to tell the story and share the story but very often that small piece of matzah in the process develops profound pride and dignity which is positive and then the small piece of matzah tells itself I want to finish the Seder we say no you can't finish the Seder in order for you to finish you say that you have to go out and you need to retrieve the other matzah and you have to be able to bring the afikomen back to the table because ultimately you have to remember that your two parts of one matzah it's one mots it's not too much as so for me to finish my Seder I have to be able to go back and bring the matzah to the Seder table and show it that it always had a place at the Seder table restore it to the dignity that it deserves in the timeless structure of the golden chain of classicist all of the Jewish people only then can I complete my Seder and sailors on our Barbie Russia lion it's made me one of the greatest tasks of our generation it's easy to ignore the larger moths and say we're at the table let's just get it over with no I have to go back and embrace stuff we claim them with love and bring it to the table and then this is a very timely message today here and in the land of Israel equally we now come to step 13 14 and 15 Beira Halil neared saw bay rock literally means thanked to be able to be thankful to be able to be grateful to be able to say thank you to my god for my blessings Bay Rock people who are thankful people who are grateful people who know how to say thank you live a different type of life it's hard for a lot of people to say thank you I mean a genuine thank you but that's what Barack represents and then I reach another step which is even deed which is called hallo hallo means praise the shallow says the four cups of wine were instituted for the four mothers sorrow riff gerak Alea the first cup of wine is surah second cup of wine rifki third cup of wine Roco fourth cup of wine layer you knew that so now you'll know why the first cup of wine we do kiddush who was the one who brought in who sanctified who started to sanctify the world there was sorrow the first Jewish woman in history kiddush is surah the second cup we say over the Haggadah we say the Haggadah the story of rifka that god is the story of poor beginnings and rich conclusions rifki was plucked out of the thorns Makela / they have a deserter how you have a saying that was rifka that's the second cup of wine the third cup of wine we bench rocco the Gemara says him of amid sia that par Nosa comes and the source of the wife that our Karaca buy is the pillar of the home all sustenance in the house comes in the merit of the wife the energy in the house the atmosphere in the house of course if the husband is miserable it's gonna be hard but generally speaking who sets the tone of a house the Jewish woman and Jewish woman always understood that power because it's a very powerful potential to set the atmosphere in the house ultimately it affects the husband that affects all the children of course affects the woman bear force a muslin which thanks God for sustenance was bestows Rocco who was considered the wife of raka of his dream wife as I carry some bias the third cup is Rocco what's the fourth cup fourth cup is Leia Leia did not take life for granted Rahul did Rahul had easy love she was beautiful Yakov loved her lay a fought for whatever she had by yaris a Maquis knew a lair lair didn't have it easy Leia took nothing for granted and therefore Leia always said how long when I take things for granted I don't praise that I deserve it when I don't take anything for granted I'm always in a state of gratitude when Leia has her fourth son she says how pom a leader Sasha you hood to either you hood the means to things you hood that means toda raba you hood - thank you you would also means confession he's the first person to confess publicly and say that Omar the whole story with promo was him thank you and confession are really the same they're both vulnerable to say I'm sorry is vulnerable to say thank you is also vulnerable I don't mean please pass the tissues thank you I mean to go over to somebody and say thank you for what you did for me in my life you changed my life it's very vulnerable to look somebody in the eyes and say thank you it's very vulnerable it's not easy it's much like confession you hood that means how he died and try to layer layer who struggled understood that the fourth cop is set for hallo how pom I disassembled X the cup of Leia so how ill is the ability of a person to live a life and they praise they're full of praise they're full of gratitude they're full of praise for people they're full of praise for Hashem they're full of praise for themselves and they're full of praise for life throughout different circumstances they learn appreciation they learn gratitude and they learn to be full of praise people are full of praise bring out the best in people hallo means praise it also comes from the word light in English you have a healer what is it called a halo halo comes from the word how well do you know that yes it's a candy I've bee helo in a railroad she it's a halo because people who praise they bring out the light and people there's people who always find Coronas they have something negative to say to everybody especially their own kids especially their own grandkids especially their own daughters-in-law and then there are people who have words of praise they know how to bring it was just a joke maybe not and then there are people who know how to bring out the best they know how to say hallo hallo Tasha I'm hallowed the people hallo that was the kiddush the power of Leia in fact Leia also that Kamala ji of the world word has a hey and allotment which is also part of that word of halo of light and of howl of praise with Aleph and then there's the fifteenth step which is near its it's a very interesting step what does newts I mean Knudsen means it's desirable from the word rot sir what's that actually we don't do anything at nerd sir it's just there what's the point Minard sir nature doesn't mean to sing notes that means it's pleased so it says if you did the fourteen what's the meaning of this the meaning of this is you go through the 14 steps it's a lot of work if you haven't realized Kadesh orchids Karpis yeah cuts maggot rocks I might see mats America Africa north south from berry Hollow you see I remember it's an easy way now summarize all the work we spoke about it's a lot of work it takes more than two Shirov and at some point people look in the mirror and they say what's the point it's a profound existential question what's the point what's the real point this is where the existentialists among us introduced somber thoughts where a person often looks at life and so many things seem so random so unfair so unjust so strange so inexplicable so irrational almost like random errors and there will always be people who will tell you that life is just a random mistake in a random error and at some point a person has to ask themselves is this work worth it what is it building up to what do I get what is the end result of it the last step of the Seder is neut sir need sir means that ultimately i'm nina vrai solution wishes coiny the Mishna says in condition i was created to serve my creator the whole purpose and drama of creation is an infinite God wanted to have an intimate relationship with a finite human being the meddra says miss avocadoes burrow Huli is lady rabbit eternal hashem wanted I have a dwelling place in your heart in my heart an infinite God wanted to develop a free powerful relationship with every human being a relationship that is potent that is intimate that is authentic that is real I go through the 14 steps and I could often be perturbed by questions upon questions upon questions some of them very sophisticated some of them foolish some of them coming from depression some of them coming from enlightenment and at the end the Seder says Nitsa you should know that these 14 steps when you live this life you're fulfilling the will of a son you're fulfilling the mission of your creation you're fulfilling the purpose for which your soul was sent down into this world need sir you're fulfilling the rod sign near self in the world you're outside you're giving amicus rua you're giving the light you're fulfilling the deep intimate yearning and craving of desire of Hashem who wanted in a very vulnerable way to have a relationship with people who are vulnerable mortal weak and frail and create together a fragment of heaven on earth leshawna haba or this year bearish aalayam thank you and have a wonderful young turf a cushion a Fralick and pacer this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot a yeshiva net slash donate