Your Desires Are Controlling Your Life... Here's Why - Rabbi Yoram Eliassi

So, he says, "Make your desire God's desire so that God should make your desire his desire." Statement number one. Then, he says, "Nullify your desire before before his desire." So, that God So, that God should nullify desire of others before your desire. We're talking about a lot of desires here. >> [laughter] >> At the end of the day, we're trying to get to God's desire, right? But, let's see let's see how how this breaks down. Rabbi Bartinura says simply, "Look, bottom line, I make it simple for you. Spend your money for God's will, don't worry, he'll give it back to you. If you have to buy a suit for Shabbat, if you have to buy a good tefillin, doesn't matter. You need something for spirituality, don't worry, spend it. And the creator of the world will give it back to you. No doubt. He owns everything. He's guaranteed to give it back to you. He puts it simply, "Don't worry, just do it." You know that Nike, "Just do it." Okay. Maharal comes and says, "Why Rabbi Gamliel suddenly brings this statement in the middle of the chapter two? Is that previous Pirkei Avot talks about the public, serving the public. When you're serving the public, God is with you. His desire is with you. He's going to help you. Right? Two ideas. Right? Now, the top portion, "Make his desire your desire" is talking about positive commandments. Buy the tefillin. Put on tefillin. Spend the time. Keep the Shabbat. That's God's desire. The bottom portion, "Nullify your desire" is talking about negative commandments. Don't eat that cheeseburger. Cuz it's assur, it's forbidden. Hashem said, "Don't do it." Right? Why? Because it's Hashem said, "Don't eat meat and milk." Nullify your desire. And we see when you nullify your desire, David Hamelech, God tells him, "You cancel your desire for me, I'll give you special power. Because you cancel your desires, right? I will let you to cancel my desire. I wanted to do something because of you, I'm going to hold back. You see the power of, you know, canceling oneself for God's desire. The problem is, can you really change God's desire? If you change If you're changing God's desires is you can negotiate with him. And God is changeable. Right? That's a problematic. God is not changeable. God is God. He knows what's better for you. You tell me, "Give me a million bucks." God says, "No, it's not good for you. If I give you a million bucks, you're going to buy drugs and you're going to knock yourself out." Can you change his desire on that? Can you negotiate back and forth with him? That's the question, right? Does Do you understand the question? It's a problem. This is problematic statement, right? So, let's try to understand together, okay? I'm learning with you. Any questions up to now? Something bothers you? Any question? Clear up to now? Just see >> No, no, well, I still don't understand when you nullify your desire. How does it connect with something that I don't understand? >> You just want to go eat that cheeseburger. >> Yeah. >> Right? You want to do it. You. Your desire's to do it. Eat it. God says, for whatever reason, not getting to the details, forbidden. And you say, "You know what? Creator of the world knows something more than me. I don't get it, but he knows. I'm going to connect to him." When you connect to his desire, when you nullify your desire, you're connected to an infinite power. And as you shall will anybody wants to bother you or treat you not good, he will cancel their desire in your way. He will block them. You understand what I'm saying? So, you're tapping into an infinite desire. Your desire is minute. His desire is infinite. You understand the difference? Does it a little bit help answer your question? Okay. So, you're nullifying yourself is not that we want to nullify for nothing. We want to nullify for something bigger. Okay? Let's list together. Let's break down desires. The type of desires we have. We have good desires. You want to do a good thing. You want to help somebody. You want to give sadaka. That's a good desire. Kindness. Today somebody in the health department helped my wife. Um good desires. Good things. No problem with that. We keep it in their place. Let's do it. Then we have evil desires. We have a type type of evil desire that awakens every morning and poke you. Poke you. You know, it's called the yetzer hara. It's an inclination, right? You know, you there you know, you want to lie today. You want to cheat on your test today. Whatever that is. It it poke you. Let's do it. Let's Let's cheat today, right? Then we have another rooted desire. It's called the main rooted desire. What do you get up in the morning for? What are you getting up in the morning? You're getting up for respect, for money, for honor. Do you want power? That's the rooted desire. You see the three differences. Good desire, yetzer hara inclination desire every day it poke you. Let's do that. Let's do this. It's a poke method. And then you have a root desire. And I'll I'll differentiate it. What do you get up in the morning for? What are you driven for? You know, do you Are you driven to kind of be famous? You know, the Are you want to be in power? Somebody Everybody has their own needs. Somebody wants to serve Hashem, right? >> So the yetzer hara yetzer hara is your main root? >> You could have good and you could have bad. Right? But it's it's the root. I At least I differentiate it. What do you get up in the morning for? And that's what you have to search for. That's your job. Everyone has their own tests, right? I have my own test and you have your own test, right? I'm not you You're not have the same soul either. You have a different height, right? Different muscle, different body structure. So good up to three type of desires Are you good clear on that? You have a question. >> Yeah, I was just going to say so you have the yetzer hara yetzer hara and the yetzer hara and main root desire. Is that like your purpose. >> That's your beginning point. The first step. Yeah, that's that's the meaning, right? That's what you get up in the morning for. Right? That's the main main first step. Okay, that's how we're dividing it. >> Like the yetzer hara it's kind of like kind of like in the moment kind of thing. It's in the moment. >> Exactly. You know, in a moment you're giving him a tzedakah. In the morning meaning he the yetzer hara pokes you to lie. Right? Let's cheat the guy. So now, just to let you know the yetzer hara, this negative force that we have whether it's a root desire or the poke desire, with Adam Harishon used to be outside of the man. After Adam Harishon, the the first man did the sin, it's within us. It's in our head. So what what's the difference? The difference is it's in our head we have a house. It's you know, it's living with us. Before it was an outsider. He had to knock in to get in. Now it's within us. It's within our mind, right? So the mind sometimes you have to correct the mind to think correctly. If the mind is crooked, the yetzer hara is controlling it. So what who who's leading? The yetzer hara is leading. So the the one of our goal is to learn Torah is to train how to differentiate between the good and the bad. If not, who's leading? The negative force is leading cuz his house is here. It's inside. You see the difference? If it's outside, then he needs to get in. That was before. Now it's not in outside. It's inside. So you have to be more careful. You see the difference? Good? So now try to tap into it. Now the Hebrew letters they speak to you. They have depth and they have messages. We said desire is ratzon, right? The word rats means to run. Right? The depending on your desire, you run to that thing. You see the root letter of ratzon resh tzadi and run resh tzadi? Whatever your desire is, you run toward that thing. Regel is the foot. Regel Regil is to be habited, right? Your foot becomes habited depending on habited to go to that place. Let's say you want to go to the synagogue and pray. Your desire is to pray. Your foot becomes habited every morning to wake up 8:00 in the morning to go to your synagogue next to your neighborhood and pray. Another guy is habited, right, to become famous. Right? He wants to be famous. He wants all the world's attention. His foot becomes habited to go to the places that can help him become famous. You understand what I'm saying? It's all depends on your result desire and it affects your habit. So, miraglim, who are miraglim in the Torah? They were the spies who went and spoke negative about the land. Why they're called miraglim? They're called spies because they had that inner intention to speak negatively. It was already embedded in the root, right? Uh we talk about aretz. Aretz means what? The land. Our goal is to be alef is the word for spirituality. Our goal is for spiritual running. That's one of our goals in the world. Now, if you look at yeshiva, its word is means to sit, right? Yeshiva is to sit. We have two definition of yeshiva. One definition of you sitting is to sit in the yeshiva and learn Torah. The other extreme definition of sitting is mourning. When nobody should know if somebody passes away, they have a yeshiva, they have a mourning tent, right? They sit, right? So, we, the Jewish people, are not sitting. The only place we sit is either for Torah learning or the other extreme, mourning tent, right? God forbid nobody should know. We are in the business of running. What running? Aretz. Alef running, the spiritual running. Is that clear how the the Hebrew letters kind of speak to you. They give you hints. Evil desire, the one that we said that pokes you every day, right? It reawakens every day. It's something beyond you. And you don't have control over it. You can't say, "Oh, I'm going to put the dagger in the yetzer hara. I'm going to deal with it. I I I can handle it, you know?" It's not a macho business. It's a force that God has given you to test you, right? Right? So, how do you deal with it? How do you deal with your evil inclination? So, we have options. First and foremost, because it's a force beyond you, right? It's given to you. You have to go talk to Hashem. Say, "Hashem, Hashem, deal with this, right? I want to cheat. I have a desire. I want to cheat, right? Today, I desire. Help me control it." You had a question? >> Yeah. So, uh I know a lot of like religious people, they try to like avoid uh situations where like the yetzer hara can like kind of be there. So, for example, like like people won't go to the beach, for example. >> Sure. >> Um is that the right way to think, like to just hide hide away as opposed to like develop an antidote to deal deal with that and overcome that in the moment and still be able to like be in this world and enjoy this world? >> Great question. Great question. You have You have a very complicated question. I'll give you a few answers. First and foremost, we don't want to put ourselves in a test. If you're going to a beach with women that are running around in the way they're running around, it's pretty very hard to control yourself, and you're asking for a test. And we have a concept that if you ask for a test, you're going to fall. That's what David Hamelach asked for a test, and he knew he made a mistake. He asked for a test, and he had to fall. Right? He He purposely fell cuz he knew he made a mistake. We don't want to ask for a test. That's number one. Number two, you should never think that you are wow, so capable to handle it. We had Kohanim that were in the Beit Hamikdash 70 years, 7 years serving the Beit Hamikdash, the holiest place where they saw miracles. How about Yochanan, if I'm not saying the name. And he lost it. Don't >> What he lost? What did he do? >> He misunde- misunderstood the Torah. He went away, he distanced himself. Instead of becoming close, he got distanced, he got off the track. And he was where? Serving the Temple, the holiest place. You can never Men is unstable. You can never >> just left because of nothing or he >> No, I mean, he he he incorrect thinking. The yetzer hara is is there is in the mind, right? So, it confused him and give him different ideas. So, the problem is men is unstable. And men can really fall to the track. Somebody's healthy today, tomorrow can fall chuk chak. So, we are not asking for a test, and we're not thinking, "Oh, wow, we're so stable, we can handle it." That's That's two main reason. We can talk about it more after we talk to me about it, we can talk more, but that's two strong reason that I'll give you now. Okay, good to know? Good to know, continue. So, we we won't ask God to help us deal with the yetzer hara. We don't want to go to the beach and ask for, "Oh, I can handle it." That's not the method. Right? Cuz this force is very powerful, it controls us. It actually one can use one's mind uh lose one's mind. What's the question? >> It's like it's like you're like hiding from the yetzer hara, and so you're letting the yetzer hara control you. And wherever the the yetzer hara is or wherever the inclination is, it's like you're you're like retreating, like you can't enjoy the beach. Let's say like people maybe at the gym, like you can't go to the gym anymore. I I get there's like kosher gyms, but like I I won't point to you like stop and say, that's enough. Like, I still want to live my life." >> If you tap into Torah learning or other mitzvot, right? You will get enjoyment from them, right? Now, I do have to tell you it takes time. You have to ask for Hashem to help you. But also do realize there's always a kosher way of doing things. Like, you have you can marry a beautiful woman and enjoy spending time with a beautiful woman and everything in a kosher way. You don't have to go in places where being tempted and other problems could arise. Just let's talk about it more afterwards. I understand your question and and I'm with you. It's not that I'm ignoring it, but it's a very complicated question, okay? So, now we have evil desires, we turn to God. We ask Hashem to help us cuz this force is beyond us, right? We can't deal with it. You should never say, "I'm going to put a dagger in, right?" in the yetzer hara because you should say, "No, Hashem will deal with it, right?" So, now Torah tells us few tips how to deal with this poking evil inclination that pokes you every day. First of all, it doesn't have any chiddushim, any new insights. It always tests you on the same thing. That's a sign you recognize it. It always tests you on the same thing. Oh, I want TO GO TO THE BEACH. OH, WOW, who's there? Beautiful woman. I want to go to the gym or the beach, whatever. Who's there? The It has the same test for you. Right? It talks to you every day. So, the Torah tells us few tips. First of all, if this poking you, few options. Number one, do good things. Second, if that doesn't work, go to the beit midrash and learn Torah cuz that's the that's the medicine for it. If that doesn't help you, it tells you say Shema Yisrael. Why? Because you're When you say Shema Yisrael, you're talking about the oneness of God and you're really saying there's no other force but who? But God, Hashem. So, this yetzer hara won't be able to handle me. There's only God. He will handle it. And if that doesn't work, the Gemara says, "Think about the day of death." And what's the inyan of the What's the point of thinking day of death? Day of death is when you see you get judged. And you when you realize that you're being judged, you think what's the value of this inclination? At the end I have to pay for it, you know? It's like, you know, if get it free now, pay later, you know? So, if you think about the day of death, a lot of times, you know, the yetzer hara kind of goes away cuz it's always not worth it. It's not worth the benefit. It's not worth the price. Good? >> Yes. >> One pray to Hashem. >> Pray to Hashem. >> Two. What was the other one? >> Do good stuff. Go to If that doesn't help, go to the Beit Midrash, learn Torah. Learning Torah, Torah is the medicine. If that doesn't help, say Shema Yisrael. Think about the oneness of God. There's no force but God. Everything's in his hand. And the last, but not least, is the day of death. That's the day of judgment. When you know that there's a judgment, you say, "Well, it's not worth the price." Okay, good? >> Yeah. >> Now, let's go to the main root of desire. Rabbi Akiva Tatz brings an amazing example. First of all, main root of root of desire, we talked about the Hebrew letters and they have numbers associated with each uh letter. Ratzon has a gematria, has a number associated with it of 346. If you add all the gematria of each letter of ratzon, it's the same as makor, root. Root in Hebrew means makor. Your ratzon is your root. It's your makor. And they have the same gematria, 346. Right? So, your root is your desire.