You're a Loser! Your Life Must Remain Miserable - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

very nice very nice very nice very nice you want to give the class very nice the truth is whether you steal the [ __ ] money you don't still Darfur climate the theme of stealing quote-unquote seems to be quite connected to the night of pay sir and I'll show you three other experiences on the night of Pesach that share a similar theme number one when the Jewish people leave Egypt the way the Toyota describes it in the opening of parshas mashaallah which is read on SH Michel basis is by he beshallach re asam as parish sent out to the nation he sent them by coercion he had no choice after 10 plagues he was afraid that everybody will be decimated in middle of the night after the plague of the firstborn of Makkah spyrius with the firstborn Egyptian story we all know he gets a middle of the night he's looking for motion Aaron and he that pleads kamut Sumita army leaves that's why it's so startling when one continues to read those sukham in the beginning of march especially the pus success and i'll quoted exactly but you god lamellas mitzrayim it has been told to the king of egypt it's been reported to the Mellow from it's time to the king of egypt which is of course pyrite he bore our column that the nation fled the nation fled the nation escaped you told them to go they couldn't even go they didn't have permission Thaler they didn't have the power to go you sent them out if they wanted to go they could have gone a long time ago they wanted to go a long time ago you held them enslaved with your army your troops and your security you were more numbered they were outnumbered they were slaves they were crushed eula told them to go parry heard key Boracay on that the nation fled who fled nobody fled so Rashi explains something very interesting what does he say people don't realize this when Moshe aspera throughout the whole ordeal to let the people go what was his request three days if you go through the conversations of mush and para he says give us a holiday as they call it in Europe a holiday for three days that's what they asked for he asked for par I disagreed even to that even three-day vacation vacation he wouldn't allow the Jews to have but that's what moisture kept on asking for three days Pyrrha didn't want he did not want the slaves to go out even for a day so that's fascinating moisture never told Pyrrha we want to go and not come back all he said is allow us to go worship our God for three days when finally the firstborn of the Egyptian males died on the night of pay so suddenly and pyro he wakes up at middle of the night and he screams and pleads with Moshe leave his words are Komatsu meters Omega Martin Gamboa is sorrow leave my nation you and the children of Israel all those who if there was a shaman go stir of God kid da bears him as you spoke of course as you spoke wasn't mean as you spoke meaning I agree to what you asked for which was three days cuca shared de bart so when the Jews left Egypt they left with permission for three days suddenly after three days Perri hears they're not returning this was a one-way exit there's no good you turn here so Perry heard ki Baraat Haram they fled they escaped they deceived them they told them for three days after three days they're not returning that's the meaning Pyrrha heard they ran of course they ran because when they left it was not on the conditions that he allowed them to leave that's the story but now let's think for a moment about this why did the Jews have to do it in such a mischievous way Marsha could have told Perry middle of the night Perry said out moisture said but it's not gonna be for three days it's gonna be forever and what do you think pirate would have said he had no choice at this point when he saw that the firstborn were dead he had no choice to put it differently if he would have had a choice at this point would have he allowed them to go even for three days no after nine plagues he didn't allow him to go for three days this guy was a stubborn fellow this guy was really abstinent so if it was up to him he wouldn't have allowed even three days the reason he broke now was because he broke he couldn't deal with it anymore as the posix says ain't bias a shame shame Mase Perry discovered that there's no home without a corpse but the heat-shock ignore limits Ryan the whole Egypt was on fire everybody was hollering and screaming a middle of the night as cause I'll say Perry himself was a firstborn was a par so he was frightened for his own life and he realized at this point the God of the Hebrews has really taken it to an extreme the water becoming blood maila you'll buy spring water from the Jews frogs okay he got rid of the frogs and the lice and the animal he got rid of everything but now death what is he going to do now every prayer died so this broke pyrrha he had no choice once he had no choice Marcia could have told him the truth well she could have said Perla I don't know you say that hi Roy let's do it let's stick the Pyrrha it didn't work hi Roy my dear step-grandfather he raised them we're out and we're not coming back it's not going to be three days and what would a party said please please come up went out you've tortured us you have enslaved us by bar Charlie have a good life we will not see you again maybe we'll send a postcard that's what you should have said and what would have perry said oh go just go but he didn't do that instead he deceived Pyrrha what's deception called in Hebrew anybody knows when you deceive somebody's mind when you give them when miss when you present misinformation you say one thing and you mean one thing anybody know that means something else you know the term in avis das what does gave us das mean stealing somebody's mind I can steal something physically I can steal your watch I can steal your ring I can steal your wallet I can steal your mind Geneva's das Monterey Bay new deceived pirate he was not fully honest but why I understand if you have no choice you need to save people's lives you can do whatever you want your Adelaide to save people's lives but here you didn't have to do it that way you didn't have to do it in a crooked way you could have been very honest very upfront because peri at this point was really at his wits end and he had no choice he would have agreed to anything remember if it was up to him he would have not agreed to anything at this point he only agreed because he was broken he would have agreed to everything it almost looks like not almost it looks like that the leaving of mitzrayim had to come about through deception it couldn't come about through a straightforward fashion just coming to para and saying we're out we're leaving we're never coming back it was nice knowing you or horrible knowing you zag isn't that would have not worked he had to fool para he had to make pyro think that they're leaving only for a few days and Perry had to say whoops they ran why did it have to be this way Asma can gain glide was Duffman gained crew united translate that if you could go straight why go crooked even if your employer is a disaster a moral failure a crook a low-life in this case a despicable wicked man tell him the truth why steep down to his level of crookedness and make up stories good question oh why did my shaft to do this moysha is called ms moisture MS retire say Ms i understand again if it was to save the Jewish lives you could say anything it's a mitzvah to lie because nefesh died said coloratura kula the saving of a person's life overrides all sins including lying a lot of lied to save somebody's life but there was no need for it it's no Mitzvah to lie if you could say the truth so here again the night of Pesach is associated with what with stealing ah with deception could Navis das but there was something else on the night of Pesach which you pointed out what else happened on the night of Pesach in Jewish history for this we have to go back a few hundred years it says in Picardy rabbul izza peyrac la midbass that the night of Pesach something happened unique in the early stages of Jewish history back and parshas told us anybody remembers what that is yeah Yaakov stole something he stole the blessings from his brother it was a night of Pesach it says in Pierre creditable acid that eats cook summoned a serve and told him tonight is the night of pacer all the heavens are open I want you to bring me food are Sayle my time and I'm going to bless you it's a special night of bonding with children so ASA wanted a heats cook wanted a bond with Asaph and riff says SIOC of the same thing tonight is the night of Pesach I want you to go bring the food to your father and let him bless you in fact what did your if could prepare for you talk for the meal you remember what did she prepare I'll give you a hint you hear the voices outside what did the ear if we could prepare that night ah snake dog a ism you don't know what do you say to goats to go doesn't say the carbon basic she compared to goats what does Rashi ask its cook eats two goats for dinner two goats you don't need one goes for dinner you read a piece you'd suck a two goats for dinner you know how much meat that is so what does rumour actually explain it was the night of Pesach and the other is observed the rituals the mitzvos of judaism in their own way even before the story of Matt and Tara Yaakov put on tefillin of Rama vino made an area of stuff chill and they deserve admit they couldn't observe the Mitchells like we do it because it's filling that we have having at the port and partially as if it's yes Messiah they couldn't do it in the same way obviously we see that light the same day offered them Elohim but that was already that's it I'm sorry I'm mixing up two stories that's a rum Aveeno the three guests also came on Pesach that was the day ultimately that youths cook would be born a year later Avram offered them food and then loit offered their mats us-rok she says why Matz's because it was Pesach so we see for mere that they had the concept of Judaism even before so here two years later when you took is giving the blessings to his children it was Pesach and there's two goats as a Aquila carbon Pesach and zelicah Giga the two offerings that were brought on pace of air of pace of the carbon Pesach and before that the car Giga which was the Yom Tov meal as part of the celebration of yom tov two goats outside we have a sheep but for the carbon basis you were allowed to bring a sheep or a goat so by Langtry brought from your idea a wonderful sheep last night 12:30 in the morning my wife asks me if I hear this voice of an animal outside this is it I went outside and there was a sheep named a house a huge huge wonderful friendly sheep named my home who was doing his thing and since he was isolated from their herds and sheep love herds he was looking for any type of social or emotional connection and even humans sufficed even though sheep are usually smarter than becoming friends with humans they have their own but nonetheless the mahkum Shan ish welcome Shan Shep's Allah stop the LEAs ish so having his eyes efficient even a human being can suffice so was the night of Pesach and the night of Pesach terrific tells Yaakov go dressed like your brother and take the blessings and of course when he does an ace of comes back and he finds out what happened and RIF tells him those key words BOHICA be mere ma Phyu Kabir cassava your husband your brother came deceitfully he deceits for he deceived you he dressed up in your clothes he brought the food that you were supposed to bring he presented himself as you and thus he took for himself what belongs to you when on the night of pace in fact the word be mere ma which is the key word be mere ma has the numerical value of 287 the same numerical value as the word afikomen some even say I once saw on a safer lawyer it's no sin that we still have a coma to commemorate Yaakov stealing the brothers from Yitzhak in fact there's even an interpretation and swore him that when Asaph came with his food he said bless me and you'd suck said somebody came here already and I ate everything let him be blessed so Asaph says bless me too so you took his bow he could be mere ma Ramirez the geometry of afikomen I already ate a fake lemon and after that fake Herman you don't eat anymore so therefore I can't eat your food the my real Diskin says that's why you have brought him wine why of a lion who was the night of pacer he brought him four cups of wine to be able to do the mitzvah of Dalit crisis because the others observed even the mitzvahs their opponent and the four crises are ministers their opponent regardless of how accurate or authentic this interpretation is but what we see here is the night of pacer there's another component of deception so we already explored three things Davi come on deceiving power and the taking of the broca's through apparent deception but it's not over there's something else on the day of Pesach that again happens illegally informally by some form of deception what very good very good Esther Homolka we go later in history the decree against the Jewish people by ha maan came out which day anybody knows which day that the edict to decimate all the Jews in the Persian Empire Kemal lon you'd gimel misen the 13th of Nissen the scribes of the King were summoned and they issued forth a decree that in one year's time in eleven months on the 13th of other every Jew should be killed Marda here's the news he asks Esther to go plead with her husband she says fast for three days I will oh so fast and on the third day what happens she goes into the king which day this Pesach was the second party yes so Esther goes in Takashi Irish when the first day of pace the third day what was her expression to Mordecai Mordecai said go speak to your husband she said I can't go to my husband why I haven't been summoned for 30 days and if you're gone without permission and he doesn't stretch out the golden scepter you come out with a head shorter occas does say Lamas I can't go in so Martha sky gives his famous response to speech - Esther ever fought so well yeah me a day English because I said got LaMarcus and Esther concedes and Esther says I will go her words are over Kane over Alamelu a cher Lloyd adios I will enter into the king like a DOS not according to the law the regulations the cache air of oddity of oddity if I perish I perish I will enter into the King not with permission in other words I will go into his chamber without his consent without his permission here again I will not follow protocol I will not follow the laws I will not follow the regulations I will ignore his desires and his wishes I'm going to show up you like it good hopefully you don't like it we'll take the risk Esther here again breaks the rules when on Pesach over Kane of a Alamelu half a Spanish of course stretches out the scepter what do you want dear Esther and Esther says I want you to come to a party and he comes to a party and at the party he says what do you want and she said I want you to come to a second party tomorrow when it's tomorrow the second day of pacer what's the name of the party Mishti high and wide it has to make parties of wine she wanted to drink four cups of wine it was Pesach are you this shimei the wants to say the how she could ever say there in the palace of a hush vanish he wasn't in to store him so what did pirate bastard do she made two parties two nights of pacer young term saint-michel goalie is she has to party so she can drink four cups of wine I'm a hiya he thought they're drinking because a party she was drinking because basics it worked out a number of years ago I heard from one of the chief rabbis of Israel personally I heard from him that a number of years ago he was in Spain and he met the king of Spain and he gave the king of Spain a gift one of those beautiful long ciphers and the King asked what's the significance of this gift that you're giving it to me and the key the king he said we have alarm clocks so the rabbi explained to him that during the Spanish Inquisition there were of course many many Jews who remained in Spain and became what they called a Newsom conversos or what they called them morano's you probably know the translation of that too and these Jews practice their Judaism clandestinely at least minimally but openly they were faithful Catholic Christians it was Rosh Hashanah and the summer the Jews in Spain were extremely influential they had key positions in finance the finance minister himself was done Yitzhak Abbar Bernal who left with the exiles of Spain in 1492 on Tisha buff but Jews had key positions in various components of Spanish culture and life including musicians and there were Jewish morano's and when it came to Rosh Hashanah Hashanah they wanted to hear chauffeured so they say there you could do in a basement Yom Kippur you can practice in a basement candles you could light in a cellar Shabbos before Shabbos etc but chauffeur you can't do without your neighbors hearing it so what they do they had a concerto arranged on Rosh Hashanah and among all of the instruments that were playing they organized the music in a way that the chauffeur should be part of the concert so everyone sitting there if you were in Jewish she just thought that the ram's horn was somehow one of the one of the instruments that was part of the arrangement of the symphony but if you were Jewish you got to hear the chauffeur and rich Hashanah so the chief rabbi of Israel tells the Spanish king he says five hundred years later we could now blow Shaffer in Spain we don't need to incorporate it into a complex and intricate symphonic music arrangement in Madrid or or Barcelona or granola Cordova and as a result of the freedom that Spain offers today its citizens including its Jewish citizens I give you a chauffeur to show you how we maintained our heritage and we're thankful to all those governments that allow us to be able to be who we are freely so Esther at that point couldn't just drink four cups of wine and say I'm in the mood of four cups of wine cuz excuse me Esther you need a a well he wouldn't have said that cause by him drinking was part of the norm Esther had two parties so Yakov brings you took a vino wine by of a lion by age Esther makes a second party on the second day of pacer it wasn't mama shun I'd say there was and they say they're okay really that that would cause is that night but the concept is there's a mission a high ayan and at the second say there were the second feast that's when she spills the beans about who she is she's Jewish and ultimately hummin is hung that second day of Pesach Tusayan listen which is why it says in her locker that at the second day of Pesach there's something called Mishnah Esther it's brought in poisk him to add something to the meal to eat something special at the meal in order to commemorate the feast of Esther how did s to get into Akash parish a shallow Hadassah she also deceived him she deceived him in the sense that I mean she deceived him she just comes in without permission she broke the rules she broke the regulations why is it that the night of pacer is so associated with deception some people have the minik distilled afikomen moisture urbane who deceived and stole Pyro's mind Yakov avene who came and stole so to speak the blessings Marhaba murmur become a tree African maan and Esther comes in and pays - ho so Asha like a dose not according to the structure the answer to this I'm going to explain with the story about the holy baal shem tov the baal shem tov had once a situation where a mother came to him and asked him to pray for one of her children who was deathly ill and the baal shem tov summoned his students his holy students and they prayed and prayed for the child's well-being the mother came pleading later to baal shem tov this child is really dangerously ill please what can he do for him the doctors have given up so the baal shem tov asks his gaba to go to the marketplace and summon what we call the shotgun oven stud gun ahve means in every community self-respecting community there are people who are thieves that's what they do everybody knows called Slotkin oven City thieves and they were let's call it this way they weren't the most respected group in the town the baal shem tov said summoned all these guys to me let them come to my show they had a respect for the baal shem tov so when they heard the motion something was calling them they all came running the baal shem tov said everyday our boys say we have to doubt them and they start diving and he prays with all the thieves and the prayers are answered the child starts showing signs of healing improvement and recovers and somebody has the Baal Shem Tov Arriba I don't understand you're praying with your holy students discover a condition to no avail you bring in the gun of him you bring in the thieves and suddenly you accomplished everything how did this happen you know what the mouse jumped have said he said as follows he says when I was praying with my students I realized that the gates of heaven were locked so I needed to bring those who are experts in breaking locks so I brought in the thieves they know how to break locks what does this mean they understand what this means what does breaking rocks have aganetha have to do of a thief have to do with breaking locks in heaven what's the connection breaking through blocks here is immoral my singing I fly second I mean I want to steal you know break locks remember the one who broke the locks of the principal's office what the consequences were she was expelled from school she didn't graduate you remember didn't happen breaking locks in heaven breaking locks down here when somebody is a thief and breaks locks down here there's two components there is what they're doing and there's the energy behind what they're doing and you can't confuse the two you may have for example a child who's very very very rebellious extremely rebellious may be obnoxious very tough you could look at the outer layer at the inner layer the outer layer may be extremely negative internally though may be the exact opposite this child may have much more energy much more creativity much more wisdom than others they just doesn't have an a healthy outlet in which to harness the creativity as I told you once what would have happened to Mozart if he grew up in a home without a piano the genius would have come out somewhere but it would have not been in music when you have a little Mozart it doesn't have a piano the tragedy becomes that this tremendous genius and creativity needs somewhere to come out so where there's a come out of comes out of breaking locks the solution is not to tell them to stop breaking locks the solution is to teach them how to break heavenly locks instead of earthy locks to teach them how to change the world rather than how to destroy the worlds to teach people their power to be able to transcend limitations in a productive way rather than transcend limitations in a destructive way if there's a sign no trespassing and there's a teenager who says I don't care there's always one person who says I don't care any of you are like that when you see a sign no trespassing what do you do you make sure to go there's always that type of person that person is a great spirit they don't believe in stop signs nobody could tell them don't trespass you know why because even the sky is not the limit but here is what people have to learn you got to know which signs of no trespassing you have to pass don't use this creative spirit to go into a a particular property we could just get arrested or create a ruckus and nothing is gonna come of it rather appreciate your ability to be able to truly defy those things where civilization tells you these are our limits we can't get any further you could trespass you can go much further for many many years for decades for a century there was a rule in running known as the four-minute mile nobody could run a mile faster than four minutes do you know that you don't know that some people could run a mile in six hours we know that they walk a mile in two days but professional runners knew the four-minute mile rule it was broken it was broken by an English man Bannister and he did it in three minutes and 99 seconds I think 99 point four seconds in the 1950s 59 seconds three minutes and fifty nine point four I believe and interestingly once he broke it a year later it was broken again was broken again I think the last one was the 1999 in Rome approximately three minutes and 83 seconds anybody here can do it faster how did he break for a hundred years everybody knew you can't run faster than a mile in four minutes he broke it he broke it by just a second but he broke it you know what they learned they learned that nobody ever sent him the memo nobody ever told him that you can't in life there are what we call self-fulfilling prophecies if the whole world says you can't run faster then this I can't of course I can and then I really can't because I tell myself I can nobody ever told him you can't know what he did and once he did he created a paradigm shift you can it's not true that you can oh you can we will and so as the years progressed literally the limit became smaller and smaller and smaller so there are two types of trespassing's in life there is decide no tresspassing private property alarm clock dogs the firemen will be called the police will be called that's one type and that we advise against or no trespassing because it's a dangerous territory and a person could fall off on up into abyss cosmos column we advise against that's when it comes to breaking earthly locks but if you have that creative spirit you need a trespass but you have to know what to trespass you need to trespass all those imposed dogmas and beliefs that become self-fulfilling prophecies that this is the way it is forever and there's no ability to trespass these boundaries we are stuck in this rigid box for eternity the baal shem tov said i needed people who don't believe in locks when they see a lock some people when they see a lock what do they say it's not for me and other people see a lock what do they say it's time to break a lot it's an energy it's a spirit it can be harnessed destructively but it could be harnessed idealistic lee productively but you have to be able to differentiate the outer layer from the inner core the outlet may sometimes be less than productive the energy the vitality the force behind it is incredibly incredibly powerful and to crush it and stifle it and destroy it is actually doing a disservice to the person to yourself and to the world and even to God I saw one of the writings of ruff cook he says that when you have a child who exaggerated some people have a proclivity to exaggerate you know what I'm talking about what everyone a they tell a story it's never the way it happened they just have this tendency they can't say things as they can't portray things accurately some people have this proclivity they exaggerate the dramatized a lie she says the solution is don't just chastise them not to do it teach them how to exaggerate you see exaggeration usually comes with a fertile imagination people who have fertile imaginations they build palaces in their minds they concoct realities and they become real in their own mind because they some people have boring imaginations it's a fact think about what you're daydreaming right now as I'm speaking some of you are in very interesting places right for example you're watching kangaroos in New Zealand or you're observing a herd of elephants and Krueger's National Park and some of you are in your Pesach kitchen right now cooking potato Cologne okay different imaginations right different imaginations some people have very fertile imaginations we're are most of you right now [Laughter] so if he has a fertile imagination he exaggerates teach him or her to exaggerate when they talk about the greatness of their soul when you talk about the greatness of your soul or the infinity of God that is where he should exaggerate because as much as he exaggerates he won't even be scratching the surface of the true depth and magnitude of the song so you don't need a kill it you need to harness it you need to channel it but if you're taking a story that happened yesterday and you're saying something that didn't happen and you're just concocting and inventing or while you're taking powerful energy and and squandering it on inconsequential or even immoral or indecent behavior so the baal shem tov said i needed the gun oven to break locks and here we come back to why moisture had to deceive parity baraja they run away they have to run away you know where they have to run away because if they don't run away they're never going to leave Egypt why do they have to run away tell Pyrrha that we're leaving and parry will say yes because at some part sometimes you may leave mitzrayim you may get out of mitzrayim but Mitzrayim has still not gotten out of you you may run away from Pyrrha you may leave Pyrrha but Perry hasn't left you somebody once said about the Jew you could take the Jew out of exile you can't always take eggs oil out of the Jew I could take myself away from perry but i can't always take power out of myself what happens then we know in life you may have had a certain experience and it's years later you're not there anymore but you are there not because you haven't left it but because it hasn't left you and when something hasn't left me as much as i want to leave it it hasn't left me it's there when it says it says in Yeshua Messiah comes Liability percent Alejo you won't go swiftly you will not run but chuva Wanaka Steve O'Shea and you're going to go serenely by mitzrayim it says they had to run keyboard ha why the difference the difference is when power is still inside of me the only way I could experience any sort of redemption is through running not running from him running from me running from the him that is in me and that I think is part of me when there's absolute clarity in the system when we have completely experienced detoxing when you experience a complete detox and there's no trace of power left in me then I don't have to run I don't have to run from me because there's no part of me that portrays itself as Pyro's voice so when the Jewish people left Egypt the reason that Marcia had to deceive Peres is because the way Google Osment sorryi'm had to happen was by the Jews running away so practically it also had to come out in a way that it's running and that's why he had to tell Perry one story and that story had to be the fight why did it have to be this way the answer is because if there is a lot of toxicity inside of me that toxicity is going to raise its ugly head and will get me right back into Egypt because it's in my system so what do I do I have to run who am i running from I'm running from the voice in me that wants to take me back to miss Ryan and therefore keep Baraka I'm the nation has to run because they may have left miss Ryan but mitzrayim was still inside of them so you have in a person's life a similar you have we have this reflected in people's lives on an ongoing basis what is freedom what does it mean to be a free person some people say or write or think what is freedom freedom is I want to reach the day when my entire system is absolutely clear no negative energy no fear no insecurity no trauma no pain animosity competitiveness Envy resentment frustration dread terror deep bewilderment alienation loneliness I want the complete detox you know when you start juicing they promise you that this is a detox right if you drink this the whole body's mama SH all the poison gets released so I want to be free is that the definition of freedom if that would be the definition of freedom very few of us would be able to be free definition of freedom of course that's also the definition of freedom and if you can do that posh alistair and if you could give us the ingredient you can also make a couple of dollars probably but that's not the definition of freedom of ets Mariah the free regimes I'm is very different in a way a little more complex and in a way a little deeper and that is I can have all and I said inside of me it's fine para is right there and para is Mela mitzrayim by you God lamella from its Ryan key Baraka doesn't say by you good Lapera MELAS mitzrayim is translated in swaram the mela of mates Orem you know what mate sorry means restrictions bow injuries confinement he is the king of restrictions the king of addictions how do you like that all those habits all those thoughts all those emotions that restrict people that turn you into a restricted like this yeah you know the feeling sometimes you're in your own house choking I don't mean on a bone on an emotion on a feeling on an experience on a fear it's like an the same person when you just see their number coming up in your telephone you're already like this you're already uptight you're ready fight-or-flight melis mitzrayim is the king of this the king of all restrictions he hears that the nation ran away of course the nation has to run you know why because those myths are AIIMS are in the people so we can all be there para is alive and well in me and therefore there is the voice that says let me give an example of a relationship of marriage since that usually works I don't know why but that sometimes works perhaps present company excluded from this example but maybe one or two will relate to it sometime in the future or maybe twenty years ago we often I'm just gonna give one example but everyone can give their own examples in their own life you could think about it take a moment of silence or two moments of silence and think about it now or later and to say duro or whatever all the other front preparations for your own use yes Mitzrayim but often in marriages we not often always we define the other spouse in a certain way based on our own perceptions on their behaviors and how we perceive their behaviors and the two are not the same I may read you and put you into a certain frame that is not really a reflection of reality or not a complete reflection of reality which means if I was talking to the other person I would hear a very different story and they're very different experience and one of the most beautiful and challenging things of a good marriage is to be able to bridge the two perceptions of reality which doesn't mean that I start agreeing with your perception it just means I start seeing your perception but what happens if people have been entrenched in a certain habits for many years this is how I see my spouse this is how I see my wife this is how I see my husband this is how I see my brother my sister my my friend my my colleague my employer my employee my totty my mommy whoever it is in a marriage of course it's more accentuated because you know 24 hours on each other's heads but the concept is in all relationships how do you liberate yourself from that as you mature you grow up and you don't want to live in those restricted rigid boxes where you're always judging the person from a particular experience and perception and always responding in the same way you can't necessarily get rid of it but what you can do and what you must do is identify it and the moment you identify it you can choose to escape from it not get rid of it because it will be running after you you only have to run from something if it's chasing you if something is not chasing you you don't have to run I run from a dog if it's chasing me I run from an emotion if it's pursuing me I run from a feeling if it's running after me if it's not running after me and off the run I could walk if you're chasing me and I'm afraid you're gonna catch up to me and hold me hostage I have to run the Jews had to run from Egypt they couldn't go with permission it had to come in a way of running you know why cuz when they have to run from something if it's chasing you and if you don't run what's going to happen it's going to catch up to you and what happens if it catches up to you it's gonna take you hostage so it represents that there's something in me that's chasing me and I have to run from it and if I don't run fast it's gonna swallow me up what does this mean in your personal life who's chasing who's chasing you your own voice your own voice where that voice comes from it's not relevant at that moment you want to do CBT do CBT you want to do psychoanalysis do psychoanalysis it's not so relevant where that voice is coming from what's relevant is that it spyro is voice it's MIT's ryeom's voice is the voice of restriction if you don't do anything if you just let it be it could catch up to you swallow you up and you become a hostage to it what do you have to do one thing identify that this is mitzrayim and you don't want to be in Mitzrayim but the problem is mitzrayim is inside of me that's true so therefore I have to say I know mitzrayim is inside of me but it's not me mitzrayim is inside of me I contain it in the cholent of my personality that works there is a being called Mitzrayim and some of us it's a hundred things and in some of us it's also the meat and the potato and the bones and the spices and if you're a good smarty the eggs too but it's inside of me it's not me but if I don't run from it meaning if I just let it it could make itself as me and take me hostage there's nothing left so I have to identify this is mature I am talking again here's the soundtrack you know when a CD is scratched here is the soundtrack of Mitzrayim okay pyro Sholem Aleichem brewer my boy mu here but I'm going to choose to go this way out of MIT sir I am and not this way intimate sir I am that's what freedom is freedom does not necessarily mean the whole system is cleared up for eternity freedom means there's voices that speak and spew stupidity or truth primitiveness or sophistication but they have one common denominator and that is they're placing you in a place of restrictions of rigidness and of negativity and of hopelessness and of the spear and they're not allowing your truest values in life to emerge in full fruition and now I have to choose but I can only choose if I identify in ain das half dollar me nyan cuz I'll say if there's no identification there's no choice there are decisions there are no choices you know there were some decisions and choices if there's oranges and apples on the table I make a decision do I think on orange do I take an apple if this trick in a steak you contribute in chicken and steak if there's a California and Alaska a spicy tuna spicy salmon you decide if you're gonna eat the spicy salmon or the spicy tuna or the plain tuna if there's orange juice and water you're gonna choose in the orange juice and water or the coke and the Pepsi that's a good question a bit simple that's an excellent question how does a person know when it's mitzrayim when it's not cuz mitzrayim doesn't say it's mitzrayim it's rahim says i'm i'm that sadek i'm redemption I'm parish said I'm I'm right I'm the good guy you're the bad guy the answer is one anything that restricts you meaning it locks you up and takes you away it holds you hostage and takes you away from what are your truest and deepest values in life now sometimes that is hard to ascertain what is your what are your core values in life one practical way of doing it is if somebody is 99 years old and I give you a list of two possible lives you have lived you could have done this or you could have done that which choices would have you been proud of and which you would say you know what it was an impulsive mistake a guy comes to me and he says he hates his marriage he hates family life he hates responsibility he wants to get divorced he wants to become a biker and bike the planet I'm not over the Atlantic or the Pacific but where being a bike he wants to go to New Zealand for six months he wants to go to Japan for eight months he wants to go to Thailand he wants to go to Tibet he wants to go to India wants to explore the world Europe Africa South America and article he wants to become an explorer in that article wasn't take all of his kids making it even Antarctica okay what do we do there he says d-did this is this is his passion what would you tell him huh if you were his wife or would you really that's what you would say with seven kids I'm not sure you would say that Torah values maybe your values but he doesn't think it's his values so what would you say you tell him to call me what would you tell them I'm not gonna give you an answer it's a complicated question and I'm not a therapist however one way to one place to begin is ask him right you're 99 years old you're in a very happy retirement room in Palm Beach you sitting on a porch near the ocean of the ocean or in the reverie a river or in southern france wherever it is and you're sitting and you're looking back at your life and you could say there were two choices one choice was you remain connected to your wife to your children they have children and you're connected to your children you raise your kids you're there for them you bond with them you're there for your spouse with all of its limitations raising children is a domesticated experience highly domesticated experience most questions revolve around why did he get a Slurpee and not me that's basically often what the deep theological questions revolve around that's one choice or the other choice was you said goodbye to them and maybe you sent a check every month but you were biking in New Zealand and you explored nature uninhibitedly when you're 99 which choice would make your heart swell from real fulfillment and joy now he made you have to be ready for him to say biking that may be an option but it's a good way for a person even without mixing in he doesn't claim his religious without mixing so you're talking about religion without mixing in a person beginning to identify what is really valuable to them because in the moment a lot of things are valid in the moment when I'm angry and upset and exhaust I just want to run away which I get we all have that but that's not your value it's the emotion of the moment you understand what I'm saying now it happens to be that when one explores yudish kite in a deeper way right one appreciates the fact that is one of the foundations of the Baal Shem Tov's teachings that in your deepest core you will find that the ultimate value of a human being is to be a conduit for reality and reality is infinity but that's a process it's a deep process did you understand what I just said okay I don't want to get off to tell here or did this is important stuff here this is the DNA of spiritual life so that's where you begin to identify it so let's take a more domesticated example you'll ask this person husband and wife who have a difficult marriage what's your ultimate value to have a good marriage or a miserable marriage what do you think they're gonna tell you right the value is I don't know too many people that their value in life is to hate their spouse every time she walks in or he walks in you're like I don't know too many people like that and if they are like that then you need a whole different course of a remedy a lot else is going on right but I'm stuck this is the reality so here's the choice between what you value and the voices of mitzrayim that keep on coming up and it's not true with this is true with teenagers at every stage of life there is the voice of power and the voice of powdery chases you it doesn't go away that's why you have to run run doesn't mean physically go away from it it's inside not going anywhere run means conceptually you say there's power and there's me and I'm choosing to go this way instead of this way so that voice that says yeah but look at him look at her look at me look at them look what they said Thank You Perry I got it you've been saying this for 29 years for 39 years for 69 years 109 years for 3,000 years but I'm free today part of being free is I don't only make decisions between sushi and sashimi not to underestimate the value that's a decision salmon or Chilean sea bass baths but I also make choices choices comes from awareness the more awareness the more you can make a choice the less awareness I can't make a choice because I don't have awareness right I can only make a choice if I have awareness of what's this what's this understand the implications understand the implications of this the pros and the cons and then I could choose if I don't have awareness of what's going on for example I think that power is me and I am Parra I don't have a choice the moment I can differentiate and the moment I can identify and say this is you and the moment I can understand the implications of this and the implications of that I am free not to be free I'm free to make a choice that was the revolution of UTS Mitzrayim you freedom doesn't always mean you're free freedom means you can make a choice keep Baraka um because the nation fled when Messiah comes and says no running anymore nobody's chasing you because there's a detox after all of the avoider in the world throughout the years there's a detox but till that point there's no detox there may be strong addictions but I could make a choice every single day where I'm going hence so now we come to the next step if this is the case we understand very well the custom of stealing stealing the afikomen the idea of stealing the blessings deceiving para breaking the law and going in Turkish Irish availa Melek I shall Iike this that's all what pace of his I want to go into the king I want to go into my husband I want to go in taxes marriage I want to go into God and there's a voice in me and says like hadass not you you're a loser you're not welcome we know who you are the Bustelo Utes Lutnick mr. Kirsch Lamaze Ilana Diaw to fare the Bahama shed it's a pair of them Akaya I've build the higher you you can't go into the mela that for good people you just sit and follow the rules so what is Esther have to say Ave Alamelu a shallow hadass I break rules Pyrrha will always tell you you're not welcome and if you go in you're gonna die you can't be free who are you to be free you belong in a state of trauma forever you must have a miserable relationship with your children that's the rule of life you're obnoxious they're obnoxious you deserve each other matzah - Mina your marriage has to be on the rocks it's just the way it is your mother's marriage was on the rocks your Baba's marriage was on the rocks you LT bumpers bubbling the racks your LT LT Bubba was on the racks all the way to cover in the snake the only difference is the elta Bubba repressed it your bubble repressed it your mother repressed it and you can't deal with emotional constipation anymore you're living in New York in 2018 but of course I got to be on the rocks that's the only difference we make peace with exile we make peace with this function this function there is exile there is and it's chasing you it's inside of you but don't make peace with it run away identify it and choose a different voice choose the voice of redemption choose the voice of wholesomeness choose the voice of gula choose the voice of holiness choose the voice of of love of closeness of attachment choose the voice that will nourish your truest and deepest values in life which as I said before the ultimate and deepest values of a person is always to be a channel for infinity to be a channel for the divine to be a channel for ain't safe ain't Movado I am it's a journey but that's where it goes so the night of Pesach a person sits down by the say there and there's always expectations you know with Jews the expectations driving them mad I got an email from a lady and she writes to me she's about us true ver for 42 years that's a couple of years and she says when she came to Judaism they taught her that everything is in the seder you know what they say in Hebrew hock Alba said er they said how kolba said their ounces of the Seder all the harsh pause broca's Yeshua's Nokomis everything all the experiences you could share infinite razors every say there's a lottery of 339 billion dollars plus that's what they taught her and she tells me 42 years I don't feel anything comes to say that when I just get much it is good clap - ina I sit and I'm like when are we getting this over with and who's cleaning the house tonight I don't have patients fella yo I know they don't even have patience for pyrrha I just don't got patient and she says 42 years I feel like a Jewish failure that's what Jews work it's called guilt if you don't feel guilty you blame yourself and if you don't feel inspiration you blame yourself even more and if you don't feel guilty over the fact that you don't feel guilty now you really feel guilty because that means you're so bad you don't even feel guilty that you know what you're chilling out you're relaxed who are you evil if you're relaxed knowing who you are you must be the worst of the worst as your mother-in-law has said a few times just joking people Marxist Michigan for no reason for no reason they drive themselves mad with expectations that are completely not Jewish not realistic not normal not healthy and that is because you create a type of fantasy Wizard of Oz la-la la-laaa world that people are supposed to fit into either they forced themselves into that but it's dishonest and how long can a person be dishonest so a person sometimes expectations that are very very powerful and very very deep in our beautiful but they're not real you'd see us miss Ryan means wherever you are right now God says come let me hold your hand and we're gonna become free where you are wherever you are I'm here with you that's proud be your Kazakh what's your Kazakh God was doing by weight weights to build his biceps be your Kazakh what's this be your Kazakh I'll tell you what your Kazakh is if I have to stretch out my hand my arm and pick up this couple wasn't hard but what happens if this cup is in the abyss and I have to really stretch and what if it's so heavy all of gravity is pulling it down I need God says wherever you are don't worry my arm is strong enough don't worry you don't have to be anything else or anywhere wherever you are from this place right now right here where your moods are where your emotions are where your experiences are we're going to go to freedom together and that doesn't mean there's no power it means Perry is chasing and saying you don't deserve to be free who are you to be gorgeous who are you to be successful who are you to be happy Who am I to be powerful Who am I to be wholesome Who am I to have an awesome marriage an awesome relationship Who am I to have an impact Who am I to have influence Who am I there's always that voice and you have to look at that voice and say Thank You Perry you're a wonderful backseat driver but thank god I'm holding onto the steering or Who am I I'm a princess of God I'm a daughter of the divine I'm an ambassador of love light and hope I'm a channel of infinity in this world that's who I am and Perry says what you're a victim you're a trauma victim you're an abuse soul you have you're a sick person look how much cheesecake you ate today look at you you can't even get yourself to do a little exercise even a walk around the corner you have an excuse not to do it how long were you on the phone last night what do you mean we know who you are you're a slave of slave of slaves and you looked up and you say you're right let me go get cheesecake Kosala Pesach that's what happens but if you can identify that's the beginning of freedom identification that's why questions in the Seder are so important questions create identification when you can identify you could make choices without questions there's no identification mohnish Stan a lie lies Emmy color Layla's that line is the secret to freedom in a moment you can ask the question what makes this different from this that's freedom what when you can hear the voice and say this is pyro this is Marcia Monash Donna you're good the moment you can make differences - Donna what makes this different from something else that's the genesis of all redemption so yeah so yeah every new I get blessings we eaten like all the key metallic I'm wish man a orit's there's the voice in you that says one word GaN EV you're a thief you're taking that for climber you're a thief you're a thief what does a thief mean give it back doesn't belong to you happiness doesn't belong to you freedom doesn't belong to you shrews doesn't belong to you godliness doesn't belong to you wholesomeness doesn't below to your organic give it back give it back on earth and who's screaming this nobody outside somebody inside you're a thief you're a thief you're a hypocrite this is what people I'm such a hypocrite right you ever had that I'm such I'm such a hypocrite I so don't mean it I don't even care about this it's all voices you're a thief you're a thief you're sitting at the Seder you don't want to be here you just want to m be in bed are you just faking you're such a liar you're a failure as a mother as a wife of course your kids don't give a hoot about you describe you also don't and an hour later you're now in China in the chamber of Perry Melissa met Soraya you're this and you know what a lot of these things are very interesting stuff Perry has a lot of good things to say by the way they have one common denominator they keep you enslaved he says good things that you have to consider but they're all there in order to take a person into slavery you have to be able to identify and say I get it I still have to deal with certain parts in me there's no question but I'm choosing now a path of freedom this is deep internal work this is not external work on the outside nobody may notice this this is very deep and internal but those who perform this internal work even a little bit appreciate what the freedom of each isthmus or IMS I take the afikomen which represents the carbon pacer and somebody says god damn it stealer a lawyer thief give it up and we say it's fine there's going to be somebody who will call you or gonna you're gonna leave Egypt and party is gonna say gamma have you lied inside you Lord you're a lawyer you're not going to leave you belong right here addicted yes I'm a gunner and Esther's gonna walk in and so say you don't have permission gammas you're stealing you trespassing you're violating boundaries and Esther says I got it I know but I gotta go to the King space huh I go to the Cape and somebody looks at the octave and says you're a gun if this doesn't belong to you dressed up you're a faker you're camouflaged you're an actor you're one big mirror you're a deceitful person you don't own any of this this is not yours there's the voice in you they seven you says you're a lawyer you're a ganas the person has to be able to say I got it I got it and I can understand it and I can analyze it and I can dissect it I can appreciate it but I'm going to choose to go this way keyboard harm rather instead of rather than rather than to spend this dis path so when they asked the Baal Shem Tov why did you gather these people to pray he says I needed people who know how to break locks I needed people who when they hear thief why are you breaking the lock they only do it a little more and a little more effective I needed people who when they see locks and it says no trespassing you have to remain outside of the King's Chamber you are destined to be in the rigid box of enslavement and I say I break locks on the night of pacer a Jew breaks locks the first lock he or she has to break is the lock that closed the gates of Egypt and even a slave couldn't escape it and when the person breaks the lock he or she goes free and it does not mean that there's nobody in the back seat saying or in the trunk saying thief thief thief thief and you have to be able to acknowledge it to be able to understand that that's part of freedom to be able even to look into some interesting things which will clarify things and help you crystallize your path but most importantly to be able to choose and say am I gonna go into that space which will bring me into former enslavement or am I gonna choose the path towards Redemption it was in the beginning of the class I want to wish everybody a wonderful young terrific Russian a Fralick and pacer for you and your families leshawna ha ba bearish a lion which should be even this year God willing next class will be the Tuesday after Pesach you're very welcome come Adam got jumped f2 u got jumped