(Way# 39) SHARING THE BURDEN: 48 Ways with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] hey good day everybody welcome back to another episode of beyond the seven live from jerusalem with rabbi aaron david poston who has been teaching us the beautiful series the 48 ways to wisdom and today we've got part 39 and for me to you this class is going to start really mounting up with with wonderful attributes of wisdom that we can acquire and integrate into our lives and actually begin to put into play in the world uh in everyday life so i encourage everybody check each and every episode of this series get what is out of it for your personal study to integrate into your life so you can begin to actually make the world a better place and uh today i know rabbi's got another hot topic that will benefit everyone specifically noah hides uh so let's just jump right in and see how the rabbi's doing rabbi poston good to be with you as always we we're so grateful that you take the time out of your very busy schedule to share this wonderful wonderful series with us so you're live i'm going to leave it over turn it over to you sir thank you dan and welcome everybody to uh today's session i i i'll tell you what it's called but i have to give like an introduction uh today's session is number 39 of the 48 waves as you see on my left shoulder or over my left shoulder i should say the book the 40 ways to wisdom by ravenclaw weinberg actually from his students but he uh it was one of his um great series of of educating the masses um it's based on a mission in perki avoid chapter six mission of six the 48 not just stations the 48 levels the 48 ways in which the jewish nation had to transform themselves into becoming a vessel to receive this ultimate revelation this wisdom of mount sinai um so we called the 40 ways to wisdom and they they parallel the i should say the 49 days from leaving egypt leaving slavery leaving egypt bondage to freedom and it's through wisdom one can acquire this freedom is through the torah itself that one can acquire true true freedom now the reason i mentioned i want to give an introduction the introduction is that how qualified am i really to give this this particular one over um one has to be truly empathetic and even uh you know sympathetic and i think this is the one or these two qualities that i i lack greatly so um i definitely tried so you know i can at least get out you do so a little bit well listen i talked to my wife about this women are much more empathetic and uh at least if i'm comparing myself to the half of the human race i'm not i don't score very well and and then with the men you know amongst the other half of the pers of the human race i don't know how well i score but it doesn't matter about me right um i know i'm trying i know i have a long way to go and it will help me greatly to teach this over once again in the preparation process to evaluate myself and know and where i'm holding on my own scale right i have to judge myself constantly so i just want to start off i don't even know where to start but i'll start with let's start with definitions of what empathy and sympathy are because the idea of sharing the burden is to really feel or let the person it's all about you really but let the other person who you're engaging uh feel that you're with them right you're sharing their burden you're carrying the load so to speak um you know what maybe i'll even start with a verse let's start with the verse with um actually so many verses let's start with one of the main verses and this should really um under for non-jews this word that i'm about to use they should understand what this word is not just in term terms of a proselyte a full-fledged convert to judaism but also um [Music] for themselves the word is gere ger means stranger it really means a stranger and the first verse i want to mention is in deuteronomy chapter 10 verse 19. you want to read it yep deuteronomy chapter 10 verse 19 reads you shall love the stranger for you were strangers in the land of egypt now if you're ever let's see walk into a crowd and you're you're wearing very different clothes than everyone else or you have a different accent than everyone else let's say you're from england and you're a group of americans an american a group of of uh english people you know from england you know you're the only college graduate or you're the only one in a group of college graduates who doesn't have a degree whatever the situation is right there are times when we really are in like a fish out of water right we feel that we're not connecting on all the levels that everyone else seems to be connecting on so if you would approach that person and make them feel comfortable welcomed so this is the idea this is you know to already in your head in your heart imagine whatever this person is feeling um knowing that they feel out of place and you're welcoming them and helping them not feel out of place so like i mentioned it doesn't matter if you're a jew or a full-fledged convert it doesn't matter the concept of gear literally means a stranger and so why is this so important that a jew has to love the stranger and the verse says remember right you were strangers in the land of egypt now we have one of the greatest teachers of all time right i would ask drum roll please i mean if anybody can guess who it is it's none other than moshe rabeno moses our teacher and if we look at exodus chapter 2 verse 11. exodus chapter 2. verse 11 reads now it came to pass in those days that moses grew up and went out to his brothers and looked at their burdens and he saw an egyptian man striking a hebrew man of his brothers now i want to just focus on the fact that he um he went out to his brothers and looked at their burdens but what did he do he did much more than just sit back from a distance and look um i mean there was a famous movie out there i think it was called the ten commandments right very famous movie but it doesn't matter we have to understand what he did i mean why was he chosen to be the leader what was his greatness right that he grew up in a palace let's just say the word privileged to the greatest degree someone could be and yet he felt the pain of the masses of the people his fellow brothers i'm not sure he even understood yet maybe at least they didn't know he was their brother and it could be he wasn't fully uh comprehensive of this idea that he was a jew hard to imagine what went through his mind but nevertheless he went out and he picked up the people off the ground and held him by the hand said get up right he took their their um whatever they were carrying was too heavy and he helped lift it um even even how he became the leader that god chose him that he was a shepherd and he saw one of his flock um of sheep uh run away and it's not it's not that he left all the other sheep to go get it although that's what he did the point was that he he he cared about every creature he went out of his way to bring this creature back now i imagine that's what a shepherd would do but there's something very unique about moshe that we should learn from not just as a teacher as in verbally teaching us right uh conveying messages but how he acts how he acted and it's um yeah very important so getting into this idea i also want to mention we spoke last week about not taking join making decisions and one of the examples we gave was that a a court let's say a rabbi or a judge on the court it's better to have a greater amount of colleagues to what to share the burden of the decision not just that if it was wrong right that at least if you're guilty for giving the wrong decision you share the guilt that that's true we just discussed that right because then you as a judge would it would be a lesser um you know you didn't make that wrong decision on your own so you shared that guilt or burden with others that's true but also to make sure you arrive at the correct decision you're sharing we're all interconnected and and why not share that responsibility with others as well so it makes sense that this idea actually follows what we discussed before um there's so much to talk about um so i'm okay i wanted to discuss the uh let's just talk about the actual definitions of empathy and sympathy so i'm basing this on a simple google search not that i'm any expert okay here's sympathy so empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another so that's actually what we're really striving for as opposed to sympathy and i'll tell you why because sympathy according to the definition is feelings of pity and sorrow for someone's else someone else's misfortune now what the sympathy actually does is create a distance between you and the other person whereas empathy doesn't on the other hand if it's something negative and you're getting into this mind frame of the other person that can also affect you well there's going to be a positive because you're actually carrying their burden because you're showing them that you're there with them on the other hand it can affect you negatively if it's a negative feeling so i want to just continue some other dictionaries or whatever websites i came on to to explain the difference between empathy and sympathy now while they're often used interchangeably there are crucial differences that lead to very different outcomes one website explains that empathy drives connection which i just mentioned where sympathy drives disconnection now we have to explain what that means so again what's the difference between the two so basically it's it's about emotion empathy means you're experiencing someone else's feelings or you're like getting into their feelings and that requires an emotional component of component of really feeling what the other person is feeling again if if it's a negative thing you could be effective negatively so you have to be very careful about this where sympathy on the other hand it just means understanding it's like an intellectual understanding of what else what the other person is suffering so it's more cognitive in nature and keeps a certain distance so i think what we're striving for is empathy not sympathy necessarily just keep that in mind as we go through this idea um we all know i shouldn't say we all know we should all know that one of the 613 commandments it's in deuteronomy chapter 22 verse 4. if you want to read it deuteronomy [Music] verse 4 reads you shall not see your brother's donkey or his ox fallen under its load on the road and ignore them rather you shall pick up the load with him okay so this is actually one of the six thirteen commandments and especially if you already have a disagreement with this person like you have some let's say friction in your relationship but you go out of your way now it could be because there are rules about how not to cause animals uh undo i'm not gonna use the word torture but undo pain it's called sarb alichaim so this could affect the animal as well but you have to get over that you have to go and try to help this person because he's also experiencing this right it's not just the donkey so to speak and so when you're when you see somebody under a physical load how easy it is right to go and oh you see it's falling off the animal and you know that readjusting it while it's still in the animal is going to be much easier than if it all fell off and then you have to put it back on again so you're already let's say if you're observant person you're you have your mind about you right so you're like you're really doing a bigger help by helping him before the load falls off helping him sure now that all comes down to of course when it comes to physical stuff right so somebody dropped something it's easier for you to pick it up maybe you're shorter maybe you're closer maybe the person's older there's all kinds of reasons why you would end up running over or quickly assisting the person in a physical act that will help him as we see in exodus when deuteronomy 22 4. however what about when it comes to emotional stuff you know who wants to get involved one of the things like i mentioned in a few of the other times when you become a rabbi you have to learn how to say i don't know that's true but also you have to learn psychology i mean at least basic stuff because people are going to come to you with issues and problems so the best way obviously is to learn as much as you can but to get into their headspace they're coming to you with maybe it seems like a simple question but it's not always a simple i'll give you an example there's this great story about it uh someone came to a rabbi and said listen if i'm so poor can i on the passover night use milk for my four cups of wine instead of using wine which might be more expensive so the rabbi strike has stroke his beard you know and his students are watching him and he decides you know what he gives the guy money right why does he give the guy money so only afterwards the students ask why'd you give him money i mean you didn't even answer his question really he says better use wine here buy some wine so the inside of the wrap i had was well guess what we all eat meat on passover night so the fact that he's asking if he can use milk shows you how poor he must be not only cannot afford wine but he can't even afford meat because you wouldn't be drinking milk you wouldn't be asking the question if you can have milk right so the inside it takes so he gave him enough money to buy both wine and meat okay so it takes a certain amount of insight and a lot of help from heaven to be able to see what is really bothering the person and in in my many years of just experience in life but mostly as a rabbi is that unfortunately people who come to you with their problems they're never revealing to you everything that's really going on oh yeah because it's a problem for sure either they're not totally being honest with themselves or they just are afraid to be honest with someone else and it's going to be a big problem so what does it mean again back to the title sharing the burden now you say bol no say means to pick up in fact it's actually the same word for for for being married right i think i spoke about this also it's so interesting that the word no say is to carry no suing is the marriage is that and in i don't know in uh in typical uh newlyweds and wedding videos or whatever you always see or imagine groom picking up his wife and carrying over the threshold of the house bring her into the house it means to pick up it means to carry it's just an amazing idea but this is we're all intertwined yes this person i'm encountering on the street is not my wife but it's my brother it's my sister and they're coming to me with a problem or i'm observing an issue or i'm constantly in a judgmental state anyway when i meet somebody or i'm in a room and i see somebody walk in and look lost or embarrassed or out of place or whatever the case may be there has to be a certain amount of empathy right and we shouldn't be like ignoring this as we just saw in and deuteronomy 22 4 where yes when it even comes to physical acts you shouldn't ignore it by helping this person um you know carry the load let's say fix the load on their donkey before it falls off certainly if the felt fell off you have to help him um but when it comes to emotional things also feel their heartaches feel their aspirations okay so there's a lot of a lot of ideas here that we can go into i want to kind of go through this chapter um superficially a little bit um he starts off with asking like this one should be aware of another person's problems and share their pain don't treat people as objects to avoid okay like you have to get out of yourself and realize other people are just as real as you are you have problems you have let's say um self-worth issues you have you know you first time on a job uh first time in this company anxiety people are always struggling with self-doubt lack of clarity troubled relationships failure sickness maintain your humanity right make sure you do not put on a blindfold and callously distance yourself from those around you listen i know i get it there's all kind of uh personality types introverts extroverts there's all kinds and this would be i mean i think uh it's obviously much more easier for an extrovert um to strive to do this and i think it's much more harder right and much more difficult um again you don't have to follow the recipe exactly but it's something keep it real when you are aware of it or become more aware of it or be get out of yourself a little bit recognize the need yes he mentions like obviously what i just said when someone's physically hurt everyone's jumping around these are opportunities for real life connection sure get the bandages grab the water cpr getting whatever's needed of course when it's physical but when you know when someone's suffering if they're depressed or they're suffering um you know emotional pain or even spiritual blindness spiritual pain we often ignore them because we don't we're also afraid to get involved it's it's stressful for us too right you're going to enter their world which i already mentioned it could be problematic when you're too empathetic you can you can lose sleep oh my god i had this conversation with this guy or this person and it could it could devastate your own life knowing what's really going on in these other persons um in their heart but just know this right if you're really quick to help someone with a broken arm why wouldn't you do whatever you could i'm not saying you're capable maybe you can make recommendations but someone with a broken heart right someone who's suffering okay the idea is put yourself in their place okay um how do you do that you have to ask yourself you mean what is their burden you don't know them yet it's okay so you might have to get to know them a little bit um try to use your imagination to feel what it is that's weighing them down uh put yourself in the other person's shoes okay now this is just different examples if they're elderly how does it feel i mean i'm whatever i'm i'm not yet at 60 but imagine someone in their 80s and you're talking to them imagine or someone who just lost a parent right or the person who's just starting a first day on the job or moved to a new neighborhood people who came to your neighborhood you want to reach out to them because you know how you would feel right if you just moved to a new neighborhood all alone yeah um feel other people's pain even if you don't do anything to actually resolve it it still helps them just to feel it just again you don't need to immerse yourself in their sickness so to speak right who says they're sick but let's just say they're feeling pain so this is actually just we as we said the title is carrying the burden um feel their pain and that alone will help them you know i meet people that are have ptsd or some kind of trauma and the first thing he says you have no idea whatsoever nobody on this planet right there's eight billion nine million billion people nobody knows what i'm going through i am all alone and it may be true that you have not experienced that but try again it could be intellectually sympathetic right try to show them that you're willing to sit and understand help them lighten you know lighten their load um it's interesting in judaism when someone passes away a relative so we should sit shiver sitting shiva means you're sitting in your house for seven days mostly on the floor you could say on on a very low chair someone comes to visit and it's it's a it can really uplift now i have not had any of my relatives pass away so maybe that's why i have not yet fully understood you know a lot of things in life i'm still very young um but what we do is we come in remember the door is not locked maybe i shouldn't be telling this on that video maybe some will no no i read it read it this week on a book i've been reading with the with my rocky mountain readings and uh i found some of it to be very very very wise there's protocols of when to be quiet and protocols of when one should in fact be engaged so that's what i'm going to speak about now exactly so the door is not even locked and usually left open so that people don't knock on the door because if you knock on the door you expect someone to respond you know the door's gonna be left open you just walk straight in a lot of people don't know that but okay so you walk straight in and you don't say anything you just are silent you're with i i feel like crying right now you're just with them in their pain you just show them i'm with you there's you can't say anything there's nothing to say on your way out of course then you will say right there's a whole phrase what to say but while you're sitting there and it's very strange and very awkward imagine you walk in someone's house and you know they're experiencing pain you know that they're if you start talking they're probably gonna start crying who knows so you wait until you're spoken to when they need to talk they're the ones that need it they're going to tell you about the loss about the person's life about how much they were loved and you just need to listen and it's it's therapeutic of course it's part of the closure process um it's part of the the rehabilitation of the loss for the person um but you want to share the mourner's pain and just by being there quiet it makes his burden a less little less heavy and uh and he'll know that you're there with him you're feeling whatever it is he's feeling also in bickerholding because him is visiting the sick rabbi brightowitz mentioned this in a recent class but i just want to reiterate this for this this audience here that um it's suggested we're not talking about the closest family members we're talking about second degree right you're you're almost the best friend right you're not there you you wouldn't be expected to be at the hospital 24 hours a day with this person so you come to visit him when's the best time not first thing in the morning and not late in the evening or in the late afternoon why because in the morning the person is chipper i shouldn't say chipper let's say they asked that's when they just had eight hour hopefully eight hours of sleep they're they're feeling really good so if you go to visit them remember one of the main ideas is to pray for them so if you go and see them in such a let's say the highest spirit of the day so you're unlikely to feel their pain and pray for them what if you come to the end of the day so that's when they're worn out from all whatever maybe the talking to doctors and being poked and prodded who knows what or maybe having visitors all day and they're exhausted and they look horrible and so you go visit them then you might say this guy looks really bad it's not even worth praying for he's a goner so this might be an example of being overly empathetic and getting into his feelings too much and too much in the morning is not good too much in the late afternoon or evening is not good be there in the middle of the day when he's like half half and you can feel there's hope and there's reason to pray at the same time just interestingly enough that that comes up as well in his book but just going there when you go and you ask what can i do for you that i'm here now just keep this in mind also that the mitzvah of bickerhaulin even if the person's in a coma even if the especially if the person is non-responsive the the doctors the nurses the health care professionals see that somebody cares in them within them it awakens that oh my god i better do my job because somebody's going to come and visit them at any time and i better make sure that the bed pans are clean or the sheets are changed or he's propped up on the pillow correctly or the sunshine the the the you know the what do you call it the lights are on or you know the shades are open or the there's fresh air it's not too stuffy and um it could actually save a person's life just by showing that you care it's going to rub off on the staff and they will take a closer or keener interest in doing their job i'm not saying anything against health care professionals i'm just saying it's a fact that most of them are professionals yeah they're pros but when people have more guests let's say guest visitors it instills a uh a sense of care responsibility accountability that's a good that's a good by the way just a side point it's not really relevant to this conversation but when you hear that someone is ill you want to pray for them so we mention their mother's name in other words their name and their mother's name and um when you're in their presence you don't mention their name at all you just say hashem please give this person revolution you wish the person they're for shalema a complete a quick recovery whatever how come you don't say it in front of them so the reason is anytime a name is mentioned when you're asking hashem right give a a positive boost in this case you're talking about a healing din um judgment is being made in heaven in the heavenly language and if there is any uh it's more scrutinized in other words the person is being judged i don't want to give cause to open the books yeah so when you're in their presence you don't need to mention their name you're standing right there and you say hashem heal this person people don't know that oh we'll start praying in the start what's his name it's not it's not appropriate it's better not to use the name in their presence because hashem knows who you're talking about and okay anyway um this idea which you already mentioned in terms of you were strangers right in hebrew the message and you shall love the convert the stranger kigerim let's use the word stranger love the stranger because you were strangers in the land of egypt we were strangers there's no doubt we we had a tough we were a um you know a strange people in a strange land and we were exploited we were taking it taken advantage of we had a tough i want you to i want to mention i mentioned about the 12-step program many times so the 12th step is having had this is after the 11 steps of recovery having had right this spiritual awakening as a result of these 12 steps you want to carry the message to others why is it so important in the 12-step program to carry the message because you're carrying the burden just think about it it's the burden that you're carrying by helping others because you were there and in fact they have claimed in these um recovery homes that the best therapists or the best mentors the best big brothers and sisters the one who who are most helpful to the residents or the students or whatever you want to call the the patients are recovered addicts themselves because manali is a good examinability there yeah yeah yeah yeah you know you have somebody with a little notepad sitting there with his legs crossed and it's very you know clinical okay you know i'm sure it will help i'm sure it's very helpful but it's it's um worlds of difference right quantitative leaps when you have somebody who was there and also it opens up the trust level where the person can be honest or even more so that the therapist may not have the ability to say you know i know you're lying you know because it's too clinical but the addict or the recovered addict who is now healthy helping or attempting to help he knows she knows what it's like to be in denial and not to be honest with themselves and to try to lie to the whole world about their problems okay so i'm just mentioning this is a very um um critical idea that that you as someone who had had gone so let's say you you encounter somebody i've i've counseled people by saying i'm not the person to talk to i know someone who actually went exa you know went through something similar and uh hopefully you know they don't get to that point where oh i'm alone out of nine billion people nobody can relate to me you know you're right i can't maybe you're right i can't but i think this person can and therefore i would certainly try my best maybe that's called carrying the burden maybe that's called throwing off the burden i don't know but you have to be honest with yourself too so he mentions here so whenever you have suffered through the same difficulty that someone else is now going through you have a particular obligation to empathize do you remember the times when you struggled financially right i've had i've had my own struggles financially and the people who helped me the most were people who had gone bankrupt and went you know the opposite direction it was a 180 degrees and had uh recovered from that point and they were the most empathetic and sympathetic people for me i'm sure that this is true by many people have experienced this themselves people who have experienced that especially in the financial world or starting a new job the same thing you know when you talk to someone else who went through the same things this is going to um be more relatable and a better situation um he just mentions about us being honest with our own when we had our own pain if we did experience that so the question is what are you going to do about it are you going to make sure you don't relive it and therefore hide yourself from the situation or can you engage so the best way to overcome that is to actually engage i'll just read his words we too often have a knee-jerk reaction to shut ourselves off specifically from those who are experiencing challenges we ourselves have gone through the reminder is too painful then we want to avoid reliving that experience but guess what we need to overcome this natural aversion by reaching out and getting involved and this is why the torah tells us in deuteronomy chapter 10 verse 9 which is the first verse 19 which is the first verse you read that you shall love the convert for you were strangers in the land of egypt now i i highlighted this paragraph i wanted to read this because we were slaves in egypt and felt the pain we have a greater obligation to be sensitive to the plight of others we've been there the experience is part of our collective national memory even though a convert is now a jew and is included in the midst we already have a mitzvah to love our fellow jets one of the 613 missiles so why would there be another mitzvah on top of that to love the convert the torah itself gives us an additional obligation to love him or her which requires us to overcome our resistance to revisiting that pain we once felt no no if you cannot i don't know what the words are to say you cannot just hide like a turtle under your shell and wallow in your own whatever it is okay um you got to break that shell you got to get out there you're here you're here to serve god you're here to serve humanity and we mentioned the way to do it is through character development so those who are struggling with and i'm going to just guess it doesn't mean this is it with self um not just self-respect self-worth if you went through a challenge and you did find a way to deal with it productively successfully why wouldn't you want to share that break through that shell especially with those in need when you see the situation yeah okay um he speaks a lot about family which is a you know it's a hot potato a lot of a lot of issues with family um um what part did i want to read about um just sometimes you know as a parent maybe as a child okay let's talk about both right the child is immature he doesn't he or she does not have yet a full comprehension they hate their parents oh my god who are you to tell me what to do you're just punishing me what about the parent the parent has to know listen i was a kid myself don't forget you were also a kid and you cannot just be this authoritarian uh figure you have to also empathize right or sympathize and understand you know they have friends i read earlier this week rabbi that it's not reasonable to expect children to be held to the same standard as the adults yeah okay since we spoke about the negativity what about the posit positive side right imagine yourself you got engaged to get married and there's nobody around to share with and you go around and you're like in a foreign city i don't know what it is uh for some reason you're around all kinds of strangers you walk up to somebody i just got engaged i mean do you i mean if you were that stranger you why would this person be coming up to you i mean he wish he could share with his family his sisters his brothers his parents whatever it is first cousins uncles and aunts he's got nobody around him right sharing another's burden also includes sharing their joy he just says imagine having a baby you know what to tell you just got engaged you've known to tell you're bursting at the seams you want to tell somebody it's painful not to be able to share our your joy guess what alleviate the other person's burden by sharing their joy with them um it happens to be a special mitzvah to go to weddings right you you gotta i don't feel like going through the no there's you got an invitation weigh it out obviously if you have other things going on but the idea of going to a wedding is not to get a really nice meal i mean you may and you probably will get fed a very nice meal you may have some you know good time dancing and good time with music but the idea of going to the actual wedding is to share the joy smile tell the tell the groom how beautiful his um his bride is tell the bride how how lucky she is right share the joy be there to give be a giver um it's a very important thing to do reaching out i think we kind of spoke about that a little bit and again we saw in exodus chapter 2 verse 11 where moses himself went out so this is what the rabbi mentions about that particular idea moses made a decision to feel the pain of his fellow jews he could have easily ignored their suffering but instead he directed his eyes and his heart to overcoming the natural tendency towards callousness because that's what we do when we close our eyes to the suffering of others we become more callous and that's not what hashem wants feel the reality of their anguish that's what he did and he knew he had to take responsibility and and action and you know what it's happening today in the world also um different um they become numb yeah different protests if you see what we call injustice right as a nun as a uh as a non-jew as a noah guide a righteous person you see that there are injustices in this world whether in the courts whether in the politic political areas and you have if you live in a country where you have i guess called the first amendment and i'm sure there's other amendments too but the freedom of um of movement if it still exists the freedom to speak out do it now until because it will be it could become too late at some point okay you know that story i don't remember exactly how it goes i think it was a it could have been a christian or catholic priest who spoke i'm not sure who it was but imagine i'm sure you all heard the story before about in germany right first they came for the jews i didn't say anything then they came for the blacks i didn't say anything then they came for the uh homosexual i didn't say anything right then they came for the presbyterians or the baptist student was what and then they came from me and there was nobody left right however the story goes whether it's even true obviously the concept is true um so we we have to take action yes okay now this is a little bit of i'm not going to say controversy i'm going to say it's a little bit challenging for me to talk about because i know there is some controversy over this idea i don't know why honestly i really don't know why there's any controversy we know that hashem does not have any emotions the emotions that are described in the torah are what we call anthropomorphisms because the torah is written in our language that we can understand so when it says god got angry or god was happy he doesn't fluctuate in these emotions as we do but we have to understand this is positive this is negative for us in the way we behave so this little paragraph is called feeling god's pain god has pain god feels pain so i want to quote a gamora before we go into this idea it's called the the the the tsar of the shrine the the pain as if i'm using the word as if there's pain right you have to understand god does not experience pain but we're going to talk about it as concerned concern our view now there's a gamora in in brachot it's on 3 a and it goes through a story of robiosi going into a ruin and he was praying and elijah the prophet comes and meets him and wants to know what he heard when he was there and he should have learned certain lessons and he does learn certain lessons but one of the questions he asked him what did you hear and he spoke about what he heard god say and um i just had the last part of the conversation here fortunate is the king who was praised this way in this house and what is there for the father who has exiled his sons and woe to the sons who have been exiled from their father's table that's really the point i want to make what do you mean whoa it's like a shame that the jewish people are exiled he happened to go into a ruin in jerusalem so this was part of the story but that anyway the the gamora is a little bit more complicated than that has to do with the different watches that happen in heaven and what happens here on earth and that hashem is i'm not saying crying hashem is crying basically he's in pain over the fact that he had to exile the jewish people you're right yeah so i read a book uh earlier this year with uh with my group by uh rabbi abraham j heschel who was a teacher in new york uh he was a professor at of jewish ethics in mysticism at jewish theological seminary in new york and he described something he called the divine pathos uh so rather than saying it as emotion and i gotta be honest rabbi for years i um i i stoically took the notion that no god doesn't feel that or that and i was incorrect because he is intricately concerned with his creation and his involvement uh and how it he wouldn't have created it if he wasn't concerned and and and it does have an uh uh effect and so rabbi heshel uh profoundly described the divine pathos and how it moves hashem and uh we need to truly understand that um we can make this world a better place even in in only this this aspect let me just add like when we pray for someone to get well wouldn't like this question is is that heretical because if god made them sick then why would we pray to god to change his mind remember god he doesn't change he doesn't change doesn't change at all so the answer is the answer is really god wants the person to be healthy but the circumstances rendered it into certain cases and god wants the prayers of the tsa deacon he wants the person to be in the original state of health so it's not going against or changing god's mind so to speak but it's putting it back to the original state but i want to mention here in the comments of the gomorrah makes that remember keep in mind it's not god's desire that the temple continue to lie in ruins what the gomorrah said what is there for the father who has exiled his sons and it is indeed a source of anguish to him so to speak whenever we speak in these terms we have to say so to speak caviar as if there was a way to just to transmit or communicate what it is we're talking about it's impossible but we do we do the best we can and the reason is his children are no longer praising him in the temple that's what god wants he's not that he wants to be praised he wants us to serve god he wants us to work on our character he wants us to perfect ourselves and the lack of the temple is a lack of his presence keep right there's a lack of his presence what comes first the chicken of the egg but he wants his presence to be restored and to keep this in mind that when the jews go into exile god goes into exile with them presence so what are we praying for are we praying that we get out of exile alone are we praying that hashem comes out of exile again what is exile hashem can't be in exile right but yet we use these terminologies because the word is actually the term we're using is to dwell and if he's no longer dwelling in a glorious way in jerusalem as we pray that he will it means that he's in exile it means his his divine presence is not felt is not recognized isn't there in the way it should be right i remember one time uh mentioning to you are asking you about deera batactonim and how uh to bring hashem into uh all the the lower parts of existence and right yeah it's obvious you have a grasp of what you're talking about and we're thankful well this is very kabbalistic i i there's so many more levels to this i wanted to just scratch the surface but i want to finish this comment then i want to go to the uh ben yahoo yada who who comments on this gemara um but i want to continue this and god bemoans the tragedy although i did skip something okay basically by not having the temple it means god's kingship is in some measure diminished at least in our eyes by the absence of the temple and god bemoans the tragedy of the children of israel being forced into exile because of their sins it's close to our sins we no longer have the temples because of our sins we're in exile and god is obviously upset are to learn from this that god greatly desires to return his children to the temple now we always have so many prophecies so many verses in the prophets themselves that if the jews would to chuba there will be this return and that is like the ultimate of what god wants and have them praise him once again now there's no obstacle on god's part to this the truth is if only we will repent and return to him it will surely happen it's perhaps for this reason the heavenly voice was hurt by rib yoshi to be cooing like a dove for the dove is considered a symbol of the nation of israel as the gomorrah later on describes okay i'm going to go to um the ben yahyada i just i thought this was an interesting piece because he's quoting the gamora that says what is it to the father who has exiled his children right they're no longer eating at his table that was the word that was the words that were used woe to the sons who have been exiled from their father's table that's the second part but woe to the father who's exiled his sons who no longer are eating at his table so as the benyo yada the benishai yosefkai in baghdad explains usually near libya seattle it appears to me with the help of god to communicate this very important message that the important the um the the point of this message the idea of the exile itself causes great pain to the shrine to the divine presence why because it was it it gave over its shepherd shether means providence the the gifts the giving was given to foreign forces so to speak because israel is now living outside the land of israel when israel lives outside out i mean the children of god are living outside the land of israel what's going to happen the jewish people are living under the authority of i called the administering angels the intermediate levels of uh of existence okay in other words we really israel's yeshua goes straight to god we don't use intermediaries but when we're outside the land of israel there's a dis there's a bit of a disconnect and therefore the shepherd has to be filtered through the administering angels overseeing the other nations it's just the order yeah yeah and the remark moshe cordovero explains like this that by the jewish people being placed into exile there is a tremendous loss to the jewish people because beforehand the jewish people were taking the prime chef of the prime divine providence straight from god but after they were exiled then the administering angels of the nations they get to take the again if you're talking about food take a prime steak or take a steak that's on a bone whatever it is this really good meat on a bone getting the meat and we're getting the bones this is how he describes it the bones are going to be given to israel whereas the meat is going to be taken by the ministering angels for their nation as if to say they're taking the prime and oh we're getting what we call solas the waste and now we understand when the father has exiled his son he knows that they're just going to be getting what we call the waste and you should understand anybody who is has their wits who's clear and understanding and has uh understand how great a pain this would be for the father who's sitting at his table and his children have been exiled that how much loss there is by the time it reaches the jewish people who are outside the land and how much shame reaches these children because they have been exiled from the the shohan the the shochan means the table of their father and that is you know we talk about jews non-jews we're the priests we're we're you know i i think the word saying chosen people is a very you know not so pc word today but anybody who reads the bible understands there is a unique relationship that the jewish people do have and that others may join right there's nothing preventing them from joining or associating themselves or even supporting right so don't tell them even within the jewish nation you have colony la vie mistrelli right i'm not a cohen as far as i know the koni they get to eat the actual sacrifices right there's only very few sacrifices that i have to bring myself that i might be able to participate in right unless it's a friend who's doing a thanksgiving offering and thanksgiving is coming up soon is that true thanksgiving in the u.s we had it already but anyway so imagine this so just imagine the shame that reaches the children who are separated or exiled from the shokhan of their father and now the the sareem as he uses the administering angels they're taking the meat and just giving us the bones so for the father trying to met an earthly parent who wants to give this kid everything and the kid has run away or was you know tough love whatever it is thrown out of the house and uh you know how the pain of the father wishing that he had that relationship wishing that he could give directly to the child instead of giving it through um asians whatever you want to call it so anyway this was a uh interesting idea hashem feels pain so now i want to read his own words our empathy should extend to feeling god's pain as well god suffers when man suffers right you can't take away your child's free will and coerce them into obedience you have to allow them to make their own mistakes so that they can learn to become independent and responsible adults but it certainly hurts the parent to see the children making these mistakes so again it definitely hurts hashem to see the jewish people and non-jews mankind make the same mistakes over and over again not learn so the almighty our father in heaven also suffers when we make mistakes he's witnessing millions of these children losing their way drifting from their heritage and intermarrying he sees rampant divorce unhappiness abuse confusion and the abandonment of judaism feel the tsar hashina feel the pain of the almighty in the almighty's immeasurable pain and use it to motivate yourself to take responsibility to help bring back his people and i'm telling the non-jews as well who love the torah and love the jewish people love the god of israel talk to your jewish neighbors ask them why they're throwing away their heritage why you know the whole world believe it or not i say the whole world two-thirds of the world seem to want to claim to be the the continuation of the covenant of jewish people there was a covenant yes there are many there's actually many covenants in the torah itself right you have several covenants before north yeah but the replacement yes that's still in existence for the non-jews okay i don't know where they get this new covenant from it's a fabrication but they have a covenant that they can cling to and when they break that covenant when they're not following that covenant hashem is pained okay so when you see a jew and say look you have a special covenant you're born a jew you have whether you like it or not you know you shouldn't be eating the pork you should be resting on the sabbath you should go to synagogue once in a while you should be learning torah baby you know i mean whatever it is you could encourage them to get back into uh back with the program as they say so this idea is to take responsibility for bringing back god's people and spreading light of torah which the world so desperately needs if everybody who is a you know card carrying no height knows this is what the world needs and the talmud teaches us everyone must say every human being has to say the world was created just for me yes each each person not just a jew anyway we are god's caretakers we're responsible for the entire world embracing our responsibility begins with relating to other human beings as real people open your hearts and feel the reality of their pain then take action and do something about their suffering wow very profound i mean uh it can change the entire uh face of the world i think we're just way too much wrapped up into ourselves we're not seeing the big picture and uh the more we can get out of ourselves the more we can be that vessel to to help make the world a better place well said rabbi thank you yeah that's a beautiful beautiful beautiful lesson about sharing the burden and understanding how that can have many ramifications and many uh uh other uh implications and uh you can do it out there folks uh just consider uh the motivation to uh uh do such and and and in and as rabbi poston shared consider the effects it has on hashem and what he desires and uh yeah you'll begin to move with a true heart of compassion out there and actually uh connect with people on a deeper level and be more effective in every everything you do so um yeah just looking to see if i had left out any notes we covered everything well that's okay rabbi i mean i'm so thankful and i know that uh this series heats up as it keeps going with each new uh way to wisdom it's just profound and um i just hope that those that are out there listening they actually get a a taste of something they want to acquire into their lives and integrate uh for the beauty of it um and and what it can influentially do um and i appreciate you even uh was it today you talked about uh uh at the beginning about people being more bold to get out there and just uh yeah if they're more introvert rather than extrovert uh break out of that mold and um recognize what's going on around you and um yeah be relatable listen if you're not the kind that would be like such an extrovert that would go to a uh a rally or some kind of protest write an op-ed write and comment in the newspaper right you know and again i don't know what exactly uh makes somebody an introvert but let's just say they don't like the interaction with people so there's other ways to do it right let's let's say you're not the guy to write it find someone else that can write it and ask them to um because they're they're a better writer whatever it is um take suggestions or or pay you know give contributions to organizations that do it so you can still remain anonymous you're not uh again i don't know exactly what an introvert is but let's just assume it's someone who doesn't want to either interact or be out in the open you know you could support organizations to do it okay not anonymously so well we know that you're doing wonderful work there with yebene uh you can always reach out uh uh and support uh the work that rabbi poston is doing in jerusalem uh on his website given a.com i know he does much work there in jerusalem he's such a busy gentleman uh and i'm just so grateful that we get this opportunity to share uh to hear the light of torah coming out of the nation of israel especially out of jerusalem um well rabbi uh we're we're motoring along pretty good i mean uh is your schedule open to possibly doing part 40 next week yes hashem willing we hope we get the opportunity so folks we're going to attentively aim for the same time next week for part 40 and we hope you'll come back and join us and uh thank you rabbi post and we hope that you have a wonderful week uh with everything you've got going on there uh in israel and um uh we hope you're blessed as you keep laboring and and sharing the burden there yourself we know uh that you're doing plenty of work uh i appreciate you being so so humble about it and saying at the beginning that you know it's something that you could work on but i think you know compassion is always something uh as a big fellow it's not an easy thing it's not an easy character or characteristic to wear on our sleeves as men uh but but you know it's obviously it's there in your life by all that you've established there and even share so uh don't don't think uh you don't it's it's a joy okay i appreciate the words you said but i i still think it's true about me but if we're supposed to we are supposed to um acquire the traits of hashem the fact that he's anguished over our exile not just that he can't give us the best right because that's that would be like you know looking at himself but that we ourselves are not receiving the best right i think that's a deeper insight here that he is anguished over our exile not just because he can't give up but we're we're missing the opportunity so just keep that in mind as well this is probably part of the reason this idea is brought in wow well i definitely i've got room for improvement myself for sure rabbi uh well blessings okay we're gonna sign out for today folks and we hope you have a wonderful wonderful week everybody until next week we'll see you from beyond the seven bye for now [Music] is