(Way# 38) NOT TAKING DECISIONS LIGHTLY: 48 Ways with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] hey good day everybody welcome back to beyond the seven live from jerusalem with rabbi aaron david poston who's been teaching us the wonderful book the 48 ways to wisdom and today we've got part 38 we're really making good progress in this class it's been a long journey but i'll tell you it's been well worth it there's there's essential elements of what wisdom is that we can acquire and integrate into our lives to begin to walk uh uh proper in this world and i'm so thankful that rabbi poston takes the time to deal uh research this and uh prepare for us so let's let's just jump in and see how he's doing today rabbi poston you're live on the air i'm gonna turn it over to you and uh yeah today part 38 exciting thank you dan welcome everybody i'm so glad that you have joined us if you joined us right now or later on but anyway shavua tov to everybody khoristov we're uh looking forward to a month of miracles misrat hashem and you know kislev is the month and and towards the end we have hanukkah so we have good things to look forward to let me just put it like that so for those who have been following this we're now in 38 out of the 48 ways so we're we're really towards the tail end let's say and i encourage everybody take a look back go back to the beginning of the series of beyond the seven but for sure the uh in the beginning of the 48 ways to explain what this whole series is about because it's very important to understand how these are a progression number one it's a progression it's about working on your meadows working on your character and tonight's topic number 38 is not taking decisions lightly which means you have to take them seriously but one should not and this is basically what the point is take such you know joy and happiness in making decisions now what kind of decisions are we talking about and at what point are we talking about not having that joy i think that if you really do a thorough investigation on whatever it is you're deciding on and you should feel good about that decision there's no question about it but it really it there's in there in the very beginning of perky vote right i have a copy here just to get a little idea if you're not familiar with purchase both um i believe it's the first mishna let's see probably the second nation another first mishna talking about you know i'll just read it to you it's the very end of the first mishna you know moses received the torah from god from sinai who and conveyed it to joshua so moses received it from god conveyed it to jakasha joshua would then convey it to the elders the elders then conveyed it to the prophets the prophets conveyed it what is it you know these are ethical teachings this is the torah itself so the men of the great assembly and they said three things and that's how these three things it ends the first mishna number one is be deliberate in judgment so in hebrews it says and that's we're going to talk about tonight because if you're not taking it lightly well what is means to be to weigh things out to be considerate to really you know actually wrote a few uh definitions here to be cautious to be slow to be restrained so when you're like full of enthusiasm wow someone came to me whether i'm a rabbi i'm a teacher or you know an elder so whoever a mentor if someone's coming to me for advice what i'm just going to just go ahead and these could be life or death decisions these could be you know change the person's life you assume it could be so just to throw out your first answer that comes to mind is something that you should refrain from doing it's that you know they confided in you they coming to you for advice or maybe for stock in terms of so the truth is this mishna even though it says to be deliberate in judgment develop many disciples and make a protective fence for the torah it certainly seems from that mission that we're talking about judges and that's true that that mission is talking to judges but we'll see according to some of the other opinions it's really talking to everybody and when you think about it we are constantly making decisions through the day from the moment we awaken you know our eyes open should i get out of bed should i be late for the minion should i call in sick to work you know i have to take my kids to school maybe i'll send them on the bus i mean there's all kinds of decisions that are made from the very beginning all the way through today to prioritize too yeah um so don't take the concept of decision making lightly because there are consequences to to your decision so i'm jumping a little bit because i really felt that this mishna is going to describe a lot if we consider the word matunim some some translate matunium as being moderate um i don't know where they got that from i i understand it um we do want to try to go to the middle ground right the the the golden means is right the mid the most um let's say balanced decision that's that's for sure but it's clear from most of the commentators that we're talking about patience i'll just give you a quick example as i mentioned we're all judging all day long so really we're all judges um even though we're not sitting with uh i don't know what they do in canada they wear a special wig they have a they do that in canada they have wigs i know in britain uh you know the united kingdom they go yeah okay but uh so we're not wearing gowns we're not we're not wearing wigs and we don't have a gavel but we're constantly judging we're judging other people we're judging ourselves we're judging situations so according as i mentioned according to some opinions this is really talking to everybody it's talking to everybody um so number one is just know that life itself is full of decisions i mean you can't escape that you have to know that and be uh be aware of that you know god even says when we talk about free will god says i place before you life and death good and evil choose life so it's almost like for a jew especially because he has or she has so many more decisions should i eat this or not eat this as opposed to a non-jew doesn't really have um those uh consequences facing them in every detail of their lives um now should i go on a vacation is there going to be a safer torah is there going to be a minion am i you know so many so many things are you know facing a jew's decision when he wants to go on a vacation that may not you know the regular uh righteous gentile doesn't have to face let's just say so these are um these are serious things these are serious things that one should consider not just take it lightly now we're going to talk about what is your approach to decision making right there's a lot of procrastination decisions could be difficult and hard and sometimes you just want to shelf it just backward i'll deal with it later guess what that by i'm going to say making a decision to not decide is already a decision and that can have great consequences so this is not it's not such an easy subject that really you know we only talk for an hour here and i know in the in the past you've mentioned we can go on for hours so what we're trying to do here is just to give over the overview people should do their own study their own study their own contemplation their own accounting for what what it means to make decisions and uh learn how learn how to make better decisions because this could make or break success just know they're going to be consequences to how you deal with decision making we're going to talk about what we call hindsight sometimes we don't make the decisions and then later on we see that we if we would have made that we would have been right and really seriously you have to go back in time but don't go back in time but you should learn your lesson that maybe you should have gone with your gut you should have done a little bit more investigation if you realize 2020 that you got it wrong so there's a lot of lessons to to learn also another idea in not being eager to make decisions is as i mentioned before in rabbi school one of the things we're taught is to we have to learn how to say i don't know it's you know you're put in a position maybe it's an authority position people are looking up to you and you know our gut wants to tell us oh i don't want to look stupid and say i don't know but guess what if you say something off the cuff so to speak or i don't know another expression for that but if you're not doing if you're not in tune but then you're not having pleasures yeah absolutely i mean uh i think i think it's you're putting your content in yourself much uh you know you're making yourself look actually absolutely stupid and again the consequences of giving the wrong sock the wrong hora the wrong instructions also have consequences so what's the problem with saying i don't know i'll look it up and again you're prioritizing how soon you get to look it up or ask advice from a scholar who knows more than you um so that's that's going to be another very important thing and it's okay to say you don't know because that's when you will then proceed to research and ask professionals or ask people who are experienced in that particular matter so you can come out with a a more definitive answer and you can still say and maybe should say this is what i think this is what i feel at the moment as opposed to oh this is absolutely the truth okay because that's also going to get you in a lot of hot water so to speak um it really comes down again i mentioned free will because god says i place before you these choices right so if you want to be successful you should really learn how what free will is and how to use it exactly um okay um just to reiterate the topic again in hebrew it's ano do not take joy in the hora is interesting means the teaching or instruction like the word torah ah sakdin a halakis if you think about hollacic determinations don't be so happy you must approach it with proper caution and responsibility have some reluctance i mean when someone comes to me and asks me a question and believe me i could have heard this question many times and i gave maybe even the same answer many times i feel a trepidation well maybe i don't know about this person's um circumstances i i hold that if someone or goes to a rabbi and asks them a question and the rabbi does not ask any questions back before giving an answer maybe they should take his certificate away i don't understand how you know it's like there's no cookie cutter answer you know um we were we were discussing beforehand about uh medical issues don't put it like that and just to say blanket everybody should do this medical procedure well guess what there are consequences by saying that one should say for sure go and speak to your doctor there may be personal issues that preclude you that um you should not go with this medical procedure even though everyone's talking about it like it's uh like a candy on the street corner it's just okay i don't want to go into anything controversial but i just want to mention that we're talking about major consequences even though if everybody seems to be doing it so someone comes to you and says you know a very simple ask you a very simple question that you know you've answered so many times guess what ask them questions about their personal situation because what you thought was a blanket answer may not apply um so the idea is not to be impulsive right as a as a teacher a rabbi mentor or anybody that's coming to you or even in your daily decisions and don't be so blissful about it remember back in high school rabbi uh we'd get math books that in the back you'd have an answer to the question as if it was yeah and how often people you know if you're using it to validate something you've already worked through um it's different than just saying here's the answer um yeah work through the the scenario with the person correct mizrat hashem that's what that's that should be what happens um so just think about this if you're happy or quick as opposed to matuni mim you know slow and considerate a good chance you'll make a lot of wrong decisions um i want to give a few examples deliberate yeah and you can actually decide to be happy we know that a lot of people don't know that but this is a choice you have right as we know it's a commandment in the 613 commandments the jew must serve god with joy a jew must be happy on the holidays uh king david said serve god with joy that one could develop a attitude of joy of happiness so if you decide you want to be unhappy there's going to be consequences so if you were running a business and a client or customer came in with a complaint so how are you going to approach that complaint now there's a couple different scenarios but i'll just give you two one could be look you're the customer and you're wrong or you're the customer and you're right so if you take the the side look i don't want to hear anything i'm sorry the thing i told you is perfectly fine you know go jump in a lake so first of all he could sue you she could sue you um they could never buy from you again there could be uh i'm not gonna say lush and heart maybe it's the right thing for them to do whatever it is there's gonna be word of mouth on the street that you're not there or uh people they could tell their friends not to buy from you or to go somewhere else who knows but they're going to be consequences to your you decided in the morning when you woke up that you're going to be unhappy okay and you're going to treat them miserably and there's going to be consequences there on the other hand it could be that you accept them accept their complaints give them whatever you want to call what they call legitimacy if that's the word um you're you're giving them kavod you're giving them some kind of honor that they at least made the attempt to buy from you and you apologize whatever it is you say i can replace it who knows what or have it fixed no time and before you know it they walk out with more items than they came in the store with meaning they they decided this is a good guy i trust him and i'm going to um to buy more from him because you decided in the morning you're going to be happy no matter what you see the difference the success that you can come out with okay it's not gonna you know it's not gonna be in every situation like that you can deal with um very difficult people it doesn't matter how happy you try to but it doesn't matter you don't have to go home and then take it out on your wife and your kids and and uh your neighbors right yeah god forbid so basically also like there are people who are very just difficult and they decide they want to be unhappy and they want to spread their unhappiness right so unhappy people usually i mean it's you know there's some people who are 100 right and the whole world's not listening to them as we saw recently on uh there was a parent teachers meeting in somewhere in virginia where a certain parent was very upset uh the the uh the school counselor they weren't listening and i think the person had every right to make his voice heard based on what happened but let's just say in general in general that unhappy people get in arguments with everybody you know what i mean they just i don't know you know it's a little bit of a dement in mind but look there are going to be times where you have every right to step forward and let's say push the envelope and make sure you're being heard um you know but there's there's a lot of times where there's very unhappy people and their um their relationships are i don't know what you want to call them they they go to they go to hell so to speak so we mentioned before that insanity is contagious misery is contagious so you decide you want to be happy that can also be contagious in a good way you can share that with others and be much more successful so now with that introduction i want to go through some of the ideas that the roshiva brought in his book the first thing he mentions is that many people think they only make major decisions once in a while but that's not true we constantly make strings of decisions through our daily life through every conscious moment from the time we wake up till the time we go to sleep it never stops right now we think okay should i have this you know vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream that's not a major decision i get it um that's not really uh uh it doesn't really have a lot to do with what we call decision or difference right but more important things like how do i greet my spouse how do i deal with my boss right what do i plan on accomplishing today these are important things these are important decisions that we do have now even though this this statement seems to be uh halal decisions meaning as a rabbi you should understand as we mentioned in perky vote over here right be misunivedin i'll give you another example when it comes to the judge we learned that if you're sitting in a group of judges and you all feel pretty much this person's going to be innocent and you're about to you know deliberate and you pretty much know that this is the conclusion then one should go forth and make sure that today the person knows he's innocent and goes free his name is cleared but on the other hand if there is enough you know you feel that amongst the sages amongst the judges that this person is guilty so the best thing to do is to wait to make that decision until the following day meaning a public proclamation that the person is guilty because you may receive additional um evidence to show that he's innocent so this is like in terms of halal decisions don't rush don't rush it's very important you've been very helpful with me on that i remember when you first shared that uh back in perchevos you know where it says be deliberate in judgment um and this is the whole point deliberate take the time to review the whole of the matter when i first read that a number of years back that be deliberate i took that as meant to be you know decisive and it was incorrect in my approach it was totally actually opposite from weighing the matter and deliberating on it and i'm thankful that you had brought that to light even though i think it was back in a number about over a year ago maybe during the six constant mitzvahs but to me it actually oh man i had that wrong for a number of years and i was being quick to be decisive and it was you know an incorrect uh uh behavior and um i've tried to learn to adjust that but um yeah great good good um so basically you should know that once you again you should not take the same decision making lightly know that this will impact the actual quality of your life approach it with caution and due diligence uh understand and recognize there's consequences involved to try to get a well thought out and informed you know well-researched research before you make a decision again just we spoke about people who take the other extreme and they avoid decisions altogether just know that that is a decision and that is probably the wrong decision in most cases eventually you have to make a decision it creates confusion doesn't it it can actually have dire consequences the roshiva mentions we often feel a temptation to just i guess you know hide your head under a rock you know to avoid confrontational decisions especially when the issue at hand involves consequences that make us feel uncomfortable even threatened i mean he gives an example you know you're you're a parent your kid is in school and there's some trouble at school i mean if you don't deal with it you're gonna you're gonna see much worse consequences down the road all right get up get on the phone and speak to the principal speak to the the teacher don't just uh ah it's a phase you know or a fad whatever i guess a phase right it's just gonna pass you know sometimes in broken gym they do and but you have to be a little bit more knowledgeable um right um just the idea just know that especially with your children but any any any situation where if you put your head under the sand and you don't want to deal with the problem it could and most likely does make matters worse of course there's going to be times where the decision is not to say something and that could be the right decision okay so you have to know and there's a thing called cognitive dissonance right god forbid god forbid somebody you know finds uh a lump in their you know in their body or something like that of course you would think the right thing to do is to go see a doctor or at least a professional right some somebody that you could really trust an expert yeah an expert but unfortunately we all know stories you know okay it could be nothing serious but why wait because you know so this cognitive dissonance is basically the facts are staring you in the face and you won't see it and therefore this is part of the human condition where we um you know we're ignoring we're ignoring the truth and uh so we need to fight this we need it's called temporary insanity that's what uh cognitive dissonance really is and you have to make a decision to go and get off your purchase and go see a doctor he mentions about phony decision making which is basically what they call monday morning quarterback assuming that uh i know the monday night football so but the idea was that on sunday was all the football games and people later on can say you know that um i would have ran the the play that way or the the referee made the mistake i would have called it like this or whatever you know after looking at the um slow motion replays and all that um so we like to think we know better than other people right i know better than the president of the united states or the prime minister of israel or the ceo of a large company if it were up to me i would have wiped out terrorism in israel longer like we know better than the guy who's in charge of intelligent intelligence in shabbat you know so he mentions this idea of being the monday morning uh quarterback it gives us a false sense of power since we feel we're making the tough decisions we don't make any decisions we're not even in a position to make decisions right and of course we don't have to bear any responsibility or the consequences this fosters the delusion that we know everything when really we should be training ourselves to toughen up and make real decisions so in other words there are people that just they live in a fantasy about decisions they don't make really any major decisions on their own they're just watching television or watching uh reruns or whatever it is and they think that they got the whole it's just a way to avoid making decisions okay so now he talks about taking decisions seriously the example he gives someone comes to you and tells you that they have this lump or they have to go for surgery heart surgery and they want to know what you think i mean you're a doctor you're going to you're going to like you're going to say excuse me you need to do it right now it does happen listen you need all the evidence in front of you i mean if you he's asking as a friend he says i got two opinions they're equal right and so maybe you can suggest get a third opinion but why are you remember the whole idea was don't take don't what's the word again and don't overreach don't shake joy in making these decisions right you're gonna you're gonna take joy you're gonna quickly decide about someone's fate like this again that was the idea of saying i don't know say you don't know don't be pressured into making a decision be it's true be open-minded research it thoroughly but don't feel pressured into making a decision right taking the proper precautions and thinking things through will help you minimize costly mistakes in life unless it's someone else's life doesn't matter it's life or death in that case it could be a not life or death decision but it doesn't matter don't run into ask questions ask the person so many questions let them come to the conclusion right that's the for all those who are married out there at least in my life i come to my wife and i discuss something she'll ask me a million questions and before you know it i i figured out what i need to do right i'm asking her advice but spouses should be able to eventually hopefully um help the person maybe it's not just spouses maybe it's best friends maybe it's a boss what do you call it employee relationship i don't know but let's say good friends people you can rely on so instead of making the decision help them see the correct or let's say the less risky path or the mo the most successful decision they'll come to it on their own and it's really helpful to ask questions um did you think did you think the issues through carefully or did you just follow your gut and hope for the best right so most importantly don't brush off a decision or put it on your uh out of your mind because it's too uncomfortable to deal with i'm going to quote a few other perky votes it's a long mission but there's one line it says do not act as a counselor law when serving as a judge in other words you are the judge you don't want to give the other person let's say litigant ammunition for his own defense so you have to be very careful right you you can ask questions to him of course but you're the judge so you can ask import pin pinpointed questions but don't act as a judge don't act as a a lawyer while you're acting as a true judge uh in perky i vote chapter 4 mission 7 it's actually in the name of rebel ishmael he would say one who refrains from serving as a judge now we're really talking about a judge but again because we all judge all day through our lives so think about it like this it's also applying to every person you're avoiding hatred thievery and false oaths one who frivolously friver frivolously meaning um you know without well you know without being well thought out he hands down rulings is considered a fool wicked and arrogant and you can understand and it's a very interesting idea that in broughton gamora yavamos how should a judge feel how should you feel like it's telling you so rabbi shmuel barnachmani said that rabbi yonatan said a judge should always view himself as if a sword were placed between his thighs so that if he leans right or too let too much to the left he'll be injured as if gehenna is basically another uh word for we'll call hell again that very different than what the christians believe was opened beneath him as it says this is in where does it say this i think in the ensure sharim song of songs chapter 3 verses 7 through 8 behold it is the bed of solomon 60 men are around it of the mighty men of israel they all handle the sword and are experts in war every man has his word upon his thigh because of dread in the night so the the idea here was that the dread of jahannam should be uh on the persons on the person's mind when be prepared to uh it's also perky of votes uh chapter four mission eight do not judge on your own for there is no qualified and unqualified to judge alone except for hashem he's the one judge and also don't say you must accept my view for that for this is there the majority's right to decide not yours but going back to this mission the beginning that if you judge wrong if you're part of a group you all share in the responsibility which means i hate to say it but it means you have less responsibility in other words if you're the sole judge which believe it or not the more qualified judges are allowed to judge on their own um but the less qualified judges should and only judge in a group therefore if there's 3 23 9 whatever whatever amount of uh judges are sitting on this court you'll share one eighth one tenth one whatever it is a uh a percentage of the decision that was made so that is like you know just keep that in mind i mean you should have this trepidation and again we're not just talking about judges even though the examples that we're given are obviously people sitting in a court again we judge all the time there's a few other examples in war sanhedrin said that whenever case would come before him for judgment he would gather and bring 10 rabbis from rav's date midrash study hall and he would say i would do this so that only a small part of a responsibility comparable to a splinter from a beam would reach each of us in other words we'd all split the responsibility wouldn't be the full weight of the beam but we'd all carry i guess a uh like a small sliver of wood from the beam a splinter the greater the number of judges the less responsibility each one assumes for the verdict especially if it's wrong right similarly with ravashi when a person would come before him with meat suspected to be from an animal with a wound which would make it non-kosher for a jew that it that will cause it to die within 12 months called traither he would gather and bring all the butchers from this particular place mata maxia and consult with them before ruling on the status of the me look first of all it's someone's money and maybe someone's livelihood but he would confer with uh he would counsel with the the experts in the field and this is comparable to a splinter from a beam which would reach all of us he wouldn't be taking full responsibility i know we started off what do you mean don't take responsibility for decision making yes you have to take responsibility for decision making but decide how how much you know someone comes to you someone comes to me and they they're asking me a question like i said before i've answered a million times you know what i can do i'll let me look it up i already know the answer but it gives me time to even think what i can ask him in the meantime while i'm looking it up and i'll show him what it says and i say does this apply to you i mean you you know get him to talk get him get the person coming to you ask them questions so first of all you're you're reaching for the book takes time and even though you what are you trying to show off that you know it all oh yeah let me be the first quick you know response unfortunately that's a big part of immaturity in this world and people's lack of self-esteem and self-self-worth uh they're quick to uh want to answer fact even in your presence of your rabbi i'm talking about jews non-jews right especially jews though in the presence of your rabbi so someone comes and asks him a question what chutzpah it's it's actually a very big penalty consequence in heaven for someone who shouts over and is quick to respond what's the point what are you trying to prove when you want to show the world how smart you were you want to show your rabbi how smart you are this is actually um it's a big problem it's a big problem i mean talking to torah says that this is a big problem and um uh the answer it's actually uh death from heaven i mean this is a very serious uh thing for someone to do so keep that in mind even to the point that if your remy is in town and someone comes to you have to make sure you have permission from him to answer these questions otherwise you always try to i'm not saying in a negative way push it off to a higher authority of course if you have smika from from a rabbi meaning the authority to give a question answer questions obviously it's the more simple questions he doesn't mind at all the bigger questions you should definitely uh convert to him now the gemara in sanhedrin 7b continues and mentions about um a judge if you appoint a judge over your community who's not fit it's as though you plant it in a share a tree a share a tree is a iron worshiping tree it's something that the tree that people worship um it says in deuteronomy 16 18 that you shall make judges and officers for yourselves right we have this obligation so too the north heights to make sure you have a system of justice meaning enough you know lower courts middle courts and higher courts and that's in 1618 and a few verses later not that many would you like me to read that uh yeah sure the number which one 16 says you shall set up judges and law enforcement officials for yourself in all your cities that the lord your god has given you for your tribes and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment so you see here you have the obligation to make sure you have a system of court uh a justice and go ahead now 21. read 21 says you shall not plant for yourself an asherah or any tree near the altar of the lord your god which you shall make for yourself so for those who are not familiar with jewish learning i mean we're talking about we have a tradition for mount sinai there is a smith there's a a proximity from this verse to that verse that there's a learning and a connection so appointing judges and officers that are not fit like planting a um an idol worshiping tree so it's really connected to the next one because it mentions you should not plant the ashira besides the altar what does it mean besides the altar that's exactly where the sanhedrin sat next to the altar on the temple mount i wish i want to bring up uh another idea shortly so to find it um i have here a very interesting commentary on that mission in perkier vault that i'd like to comment on this particular we have the book here [Music] anyways it's a very fascinating book it's the metista uh perky evolved um which all the gemaras i have i should say all of them this particular one this is i don't know if you can see anyway that's the matipta series um so when it said in mission and perky i vote how will the tuning begin so i want to discuss that a little bit um rashi says that if if someone comes right if the judgment comes before you a second time a third time let's say you know something that's oftenly asked don't say this is the din i already you know i've already uh i've already said this two or three times i already know it i i know it and i've already told it over so just be no be matuni bedin be cautious be slow um that's rashi okay now the clarifications the explanations down below mention a few things that the post scheme the people who are determining law should be means the opposite of quick don't give a sock that is so quick but right and don't take your first opinion don't spurt out the first thing that comes to mind very very important why because perhaps new information will come up obviously the only way that's going to come up is if you ask questions or if you allow the person to speak someone comes to you for advice you didn't even hear the whole story or you think you hold this through ask them is there anything more you'd like to add at least that right there's got to be a dialogue a discussion so perhaps new information will come up that you didn't think about earlier and right there and that was based on the rambam's idea but the ptosis yamcha explains that this is not talking about judges it's talking about every single human being i'll just say it peruse rather you should make a determination based on slow i'm going to use the word kavodrosh means the heaviness of the head in other words deep thought it's not just don't spurt out what you think because what's going to happen very easily make mistakes the word is based on ignorance and error but actually it's it's irresponsible it's um i don't know why i forgot the english for it but it's um you're held for this irresponsibility um showgig means there was it wasn't done on purpose with full consciousness there was mistakes made but those mistakes are shia neglect that's negligence there's negligence involved you go to a rabbi who's not qualified now if you know he's not qualified you know that he's not qualified and you ask him his advice and follow his advice you are being negligent i mean is this obvious so basically the person giving the sock giving the the advice or giving the hallucic ruling he should make sure she should make sure to uh you know ask me advice from rebecca and not to just spread out the first thing that comes to mind but to understand that we should understand that we could be responsible based on negligence if we don't take proper consideration for what we're about to say um the next thing is so in other words why should you be slow in giving judgement kade means it's not the facts it's more like the determination within your mind you know you're taking all the risks you know uh versus all the benefits so you're you're you're working it out in order to make a determination right so that's why you should be maturing within take your time to work it all out so he brings down here in terms of the eerie says this that how much more we don't need to say when things are clear when things are clear i should say like this one second sorry when things are not clear obviously if it's not clear you have to say this but what happens when they are clear you have to say it as well in other words we always speak about this idea of what's the point of teaching anything it's only things that are counter-intuitive we need to teach so obviously if the things are not clear you have to take your time what happens when things are clear you have to take your time okay um but ella felix adam even when things are clear you have to take your time and to make the determination slowly with uh with clarity okay that's very important we find that as banane i mean the no height laws are are you know from a jewish learned jewish position it's like they're common sense right but from vinay noah people like what what is that and you have to explain it somewhat but uh we we we see that when we're listening to the rabbis it's crystal clear and plain uh straightforward and yet no hide to people that are new to the concept it's so foreign um that the logical dots have to be put in place for people to connect them i hear that the last thing he mentions on this comment is also i think a little bit counter-intuitive but uh there is i think i think people will understand it it actually it makes a lot of sense that the nature of man is to lean his heart towards the believe the person who seems to be oppressed as opposed to the one who's the oppressor and you don't have the facts you don't have all the facts get them before you make a decision like there's a court case going on right now i think not far from the border between canada and the united states about a certain person who was attacked and he killed somebody and it's going on right now you know is he going to be counted as a murderer or is he acting in self-defense okay so you know the heart wants to lean towards the oppressed and accuse or you know lean towards the guilty side for the oppressor but who says that's always the case you don't even know okay the next idea he brings down and it's a very interesting idea just to reiterate we said before about the ashara tree so if you go to um [Music] in exodus chapter 20 verse 22. chapter 20. yeah before you read it it's going to be exodus chapter um 20 verse 22 but then we're going to or 23 i think 22 22 says and when you make for me an altar of stones you shall not build them of hume stones lest you wield your sword upon it and desecrate it it's actually it's actually verse 23 i would let me just finish 23 is the last verse of that chapter and then you're going to read the first verse of the next chapter so read the two of them together oh and you shall not ascend with steps upon my altar so that your nakedness shall not be exposed upon it and going to the next chapter and these are the ordinances that you shall set before them so this idea of not ascending steps okay so we don't i don't know if we talked about on on any of your shows i've heard rabbi skobak talk about this and you know he said for that reason there was a ramp installed so the ring you apparently you know maybe when i i climb up 52 steps to my apartment i sometimes go two steps at a time okay going up you you um you take large strides and you move forward quicker than if you're on a ramp so this idea of don't go up steps so don't go quickly up my altar and the next verse says these are the laws that you should place before them this is talking about the sanhedrin and where the sanhedrin they're sitting next to the altar there's just another idea here right that this um so we learn here that when the judges give their judgment they should um it's forbidden for them to go quickly in their judgment clear is mud now might be clear to some people no thank you there's a comment here that i think is very interesting because i'm i'm constantly learning right so i i might have seen this rashi a hundred times but it never made sense till tonight when i was preparing um it's brought down in abu rabbin he says we learn a whole another idea in being slow to judgment and he brings this idea that we learn that a man should be mounting mounting which means slow with his words and he shouldn't be mocked although what's the difference between mounting and makbeet mom teen again means slow cautious but not overly cautious machpede means painstakingly meticulous is a problem it usually involves some kind of anger you are so like distraught that you take your your words and you make sure that every syllable is said correctly that um the comment here says in review that this will actually cause you if you're too particular i guess like your your mind is just working overtime figuring out the exact emphasis and all that that you're actually going to forget your words and we find by motion now this if you go to numbers chapter 31 verse 21 verse 21 reads eliezer the cohen said to the soldiers returning from battle this is the statute that the lord commanded moses now let's just take our time try to understand this where do you have eliezer the cohen telling the soldiers returning from battle where does it make sense for him to teach them this is the law that god commanded moses why is he doing this rashi says because moses came to a state of anger cass i think is here we're talking about being machp being overly cautious about your words it will cause someone to make a mistake these very laws of the purging of gentile vessels meaning when you you go to war and you captured these vessels right these beautiful um pots that you could use but guess what they cook pork or milk and meat in it so for a jew to use it it has to be converted through a mikvah but also has to be purged with hot water right these are laws moses taught them moses wait a second he's telling them now when they come back from the war to do this very nice i'm just reading going back to the rashi since moses came to a state of anger he came to ur that those laws eluded him in other words he forgot his words in that moment of anger which we're not going to call anger per se but we're going to say it's macbeth he was being so deliberate about his words and we're going to go back to verse i think it's verse 14 uh 14. just to show you that moses became angry right 14 says moses became angry with the officers of the army the commanders of thousands and the commanders of hundreds who had returned from the campaign of war now he was so incensed that they allowed the women to to live that he was very particular extremely particular about that one point and becoming very angry and particular about that one point caused him to not discuss a very calm thing that he could have discussed this is what i'm just reading the commentary it's unbelievable that when you put it together you understand that it's to be mom team to be deliberate in terms of cautious but not overly cautious when you come overly cautious you make a mistake like like moses made and basically comes down to this that eliezer could not have been told it was never said that god told eliezer moses moses was taught moses taught them but moses never taught to people because he forgot so but the right thing from eliezer to say was this is what god this is what moses taught in other words that's the right way to do it that's all fine um the the comment begs here by saying that if this is true by moshe then it's it's a logical conclusion for us that just as moses is very wise and and great and he's the head of all the prophets in other words all prophecy basically comes through moses and at a time where he's being overly cautious or what overly cautious right the idea of being too stern with his words caused him to forget and we're talking about moses and he was overly cautious caused him to forget so how much more so we have to learn that a person should not all they should do is be cautious but not overly cautious and that that was a very interesting thing i never i never saw before i didn't know and i'm very happy that i got a chance to see that yeah we got to stay real right if we overdo it yeah embellishment um this idea we said before um about not being a lawyer right you're a judge don't be a lawyer in other words you have to be objective look for the truth right rather than defending it by its position at all costs get the relevant information and make a decision based on what makes the most sense not what you desire the last part i actually two more paragraphs um what do i believe these are decisions that you have to make i mean to say i'm not sure that's fine that means you're going to research and try to figure out but you know is there a god is that not a god you know do i do i believe in the midst of this do i believe in you know pursuing a certain act so these are these are real serious philosophical questions and don't treat them cavalierly but rather you know like is there such a thing as resurrection and dead is there really such a thing as the afterlife these are all uh very important things are going to have a major impact on your life right especially us jews we believe that actions everything's going to have a consequence so if you believe a certain thing it's not just the belief but it's what comes it's the follow-through based on that belief yeah right so these are these might be nagging questions but you you if you lack any clarity go and pursue make sure to come without with some clarity because this is uh you know it sounds to me like ironing if you've ever ironed out wrinkles you know sometimes it takes a methodical uh and a bit of steam to really make them go away but uh you know it produces that crisp result for sure my wife loves to watch me iron now it could be because she's not ironing herself but she it's probably not just the irony there's other things i do and when i'm washing the dishes as well she's she's watching me like it's like um she says it must be very therapeutic you're totally engrossed you're totally involved like it's like your whole being is in it and it's very therapeutic for me you know i need to you know switch off my my mind for a little bit you know do something um but yeah yeah you know when you're doing something with your full heart you know you're doing it right and um i love making sure those creases are out of the shirt yeah um okay in gamora broncos it's a very important lesson do i have it here yeah it says over there teach your mouth to say i don't know and where do we learn that from that's the statement so in gamora for a brackets 4a you know moses knew or did he not know when midnight was you know when when he approaches astrologers he mentions that the 10th plague is going to happen around midnight so the hogimor over there actually is discussing king david when did he know did he know when uh midnight was but let's talk about motion moshe says around midnight so um the question was really most didn't know what midnight was that he has to say around midnight so what did moses maintain he won he was worried that if the astrologers of pharaoh erd which is very likely because they're not experts at anything except deception um that they would say no midnight was a few minutes before a few minutes after and therefore the plague of the firstborn didn't happen at midnight so they would dismiss whatever lesson needed to be learned which was a big lesson um so or they would consider and say moses was a liar right oh he lied because he said midnight but it happened two minutes before two minutes after so here that's the statement right here so moses spoke in accordance with the principal articulated by the master accustom your tongue to say i do not know lest you become entangled in a web of deceit yeah there were some other interesting things and i forgot to um pull it up uh i only have the uh the sources without i only have like the quote but i don't have to i don't have the actual quote itself i just have where it was and i forget what it was referring to let me just see if i can remember here dan 249 and i have to look it up and oh you know what i actually do have it i have it somewhere okay let's see if i can remember this idea okay give me a second i know it's related to this idea of saying you don't know pretty sure um just have to get right page first one second now i don't know why i'm on the wrong page yeah bro for sure okay this is about a scholar who rejoices in the opportunity to render halal decisions this is uh not good and so in we discussed this earlier in uh humility it creates it's based on arrogant of heart and the person feels this joy he's considered a fool a wicked person an arrogant of spirit and okay let me just find that um we do know right it says in michael chapter 6 verse 8 to walk humbly with your god right walk humbly with your god so again you're in a position where people are coming to you for advice or to make halal decisions downplay i mean that not to downplay the seriousness but down playing slow down and not try to display some kind of arrogance and all that stuff and i'm sure that's what's talking about yeah okay yeah mike micah says it says yeah he has told you oh man what is good and uh what the lord uh requires of you but to do justice uh to love loving kindness and to walk discreetly with uh your god it's interesting the the your day that i was going to quote that i didn't have to quote in front of me was actually something we quoted in the last week or the week before talking about glorifying yourself by putting your name on a building right you should not want to put your name on the building but if you're talked into it it's okay right so in the in the rama the remote israelis mentions in the in the laws of sadaka that if a person who glorifies himself with charity um he then he loses the reward for the mitzvah in fact he'll even be punished for his arrogance so you see this also is taking place over there now in the mishnah brewer in the very beginning the very first of how to behave when you wake up in the morning regarding a person who finds himself in a situation where others less learned than him will learn from his ways in other words you're sitting around with a bunch of other people and they know more than you zip your mouth what are you what are you trying to prove right you're you're better off keeping your mouth closed but what if you're around people who don't know as much as you so then you may you should make a point by doing okay he actually mentions about doing misses publicly so you're around these great rabbis or great thomas you know scholars and uh they're doing misses in public so you should be a little bit uh reserved and and not try to don't you know be in the form of one up menship exactly but when you are the most let's say the most learning even though you're not so learned yourself then don't um don't hold back try to do things publicly so others can learn from you and you should all do this for the sake of heaven not to gain i don't know where that continues one second not to gain honor for yourself there you go so mentions in the beer halacha adds that the situation with our evil doers influencing the public against god and his torah and they ignore any peaceful approach to change their ways so then it becomes a holy obligation to fight against them publicly and to demonstrate open allegiance to god basically the idea was based on that if you're around evil-doers and they're they happen to be very successful what they're doing don't start up with them you're not going to win especially if it's personal stay away from it but once it becomes for the sake of god so then there's a time and a place where it may be appropriate to step up and make your voice heard so with that being said we we pretty much finished for today as i mentioned the very beginning this is just an outline for people to do their own own homework yeah work yeah um i did i i i know i mentioned this is the the book the perky i vote there was one comment here that i thought of sharing now i have to find it um okay be deliberate in judgment so this admonition is addressed to judges even if a similar case came before the judges two or three times in the past he should not be hasty to equate the cases rather he should deliberate before issuing a ruling the rambam in hilca sanhedrin codifies the law's violence one who acts irreverently that means i guess quickly and not seriously in deciding the law and is quick to hand down a ruling before thoroughly investigating the issue until it is clear as day is considered a fool a wicked person and an arrogant one this is what the stages commanded be deliberate in judgment uh that's that cookie cutter precedence right where yeah yeah everybody try yeah some try to make the error without looking at the whole of the situation or circumstance cookie cutter precedence yeah just to uh mention to end with the he quotes rabbi um alvarez the rebbe nelson he extends this maxim to all people for each of us is a judge who must evaluate people and situations we're doing it all the time in all matters one should act deliberately rather than in haste yes and thank you very much like i said there's so much so much we can go on forever we can go on forever we have stuff all good things must come to an end well this is just the beginning for most of us so we go from kyle ohio from strength to strength well thank you so much rabbi because you know you just by touching on the sheer fact you know because those of us that come out of christianity especially i mean nobody likes the idea of judging another but the reality is we have to judge daily endlessly you can't get away from it you're up you're you're walking if you're interacting or breathing you're you're weighing forever in front of your eyes scenarios and circumstances you know stepping in this into things and stepping back from others i think i appreciate you today talking about those that are indecisive have in fact made a decision because people need to realize sometimes indecision is the wrong decision and uh so many people in our day and age they try to avoid confrontation to the point where they actually allow wickedness to prosper and um you can uh cut it's easier to cut a a plant down when it's small uh rather than let it grow large and so um yeah there are consequences to indecision for sure for sure well rabbi thank you so much so um we have our daylight savings tomorrow in the west so i know uh it's been the same today same time as normal for us here in the west but you were a little hour earlier but we'd have to if we're gonna do next week we'd have to go back to the later hour 11 30 p.m in israel hashem willing are you okay for number 39 next week or shall we leave it in the air no no we're okay for 39 at the regular time the original time right right right right right yeah because we do our daylight savings we go back an hour tonight uh so uh there you have it folks so hashem willing we are aiming to be on the same time next week with part 39 i'm so enjoying this and i find as it goes from this point on to the very uh 48th way it's just immense topics that we need to acquire and you'll see it unfurl as rabbi poston begins to share it and i think you'll learn to appreciate each and every one especially going down the the stretch here uh and it should inspire you to want to actually acquire everyone all the way back to the very beginning uh it's a beautiful beautiful uh teaching and we're thankful that uh rabbi noak weinberg uh had written that work and it's just profound and useful for for each and every person to integrate in their life so we're gonna sign off for now have a wonderful wonderful week everybody until next week bye for now [Music] is