Tomer Devorah Middah # 5 HE DOES NOT MAINTAIN HIS ANGER FOREVER with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] hey good day everybody welcome back to another episode uh live from jerusalem with rabbi aaron david poston uh in his beyond the seven series and we've been uh he's been sharing with us uh uh the beautiful work tomer devorah and today we're in the lesson five on the series and i encourage everybody to go back and check out each each and every one in this series it's just beautiful material and i look forward to it and i take lots of notes i look forward to hearing what the rabbi's got to say today so let's just jump right in and see how rabbi poston is doing there shalom rabbi thank you so much for staying up late in jerusalem to share with us uh torah it's the world needs it more than ever shalom alaikum thank you dan and thank you all the viewers who are watching now and watching later and you're so right this is fundamental this part of the torah right the idea that god created us in his image and told us not only to cleave to him but to imitate his ways and these are the 13 attributes of mercy written in the safer tomer devorah by the famous kabbalist and rabbi of the 1500s the ramak moshe cordovero and um like you said go back people should go back and see the first i guess four uh the four episodes before this one um i will mention what they are so people have a clue an idea of what we're talking about here uh this part of the book this is only really the first chapter that's divided into the 13 attributes is based on the verses in michael chapter 7. and these are the 13 attributes remember the prophets never came to reveal anything new and this will be proven tonight not that we have to prove anything but to reiterate this very important lesson i know that people get mixed up with other religions because they believe that profits or prophecy is coming to reveal something that was not previously revealed and i'll show you um inside the text itself which i hope will be absolutely fascinating so in chapter seven which is near the very end of mira and until the end so it says like this in english who is like you who is a god like you who pardons iniquity and overlooks transgression for the remnant of his heritage now this is tonight's meda character he does not maintain his wrath forever so that's going to be the title he does not maintain his wrath forever and then excellent for he desires kindness he will he will once again show us mercy he will suppress our iniquities you will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea grant truth to jacob kindness to abraham as you swore to our forefathers in the days of old happens to be that we the jewish people on rosh hashanah we actually go to a body of water and we confess our sins and we go and through this process it's called tashlich where we throw our sins into the river into the body of water whatever it is and um the the prophet here is teaching us in different words what was already said to moses in chapter 34 of exodus so if we just take a quick look over there i would say 34 verses will start at five hashem descended in a cloud and stood with him there and he called out with the name of hashem with the name hashem hashem passed before him and proclaimed now this is a good question who's saying what let's assume for a moment without hashem is teaching moses what the 13 attributes are he reveals to him hashem hashem god compassionate and gracious slow to anger and abundant in kindness and truth preserver of kindness for thousands of generations forgiver of iniquity willful sin and error and who cleanses but does not cleanse completely recalling the iniquity of parents upon children and grandchildren to the third and fourth generations so what we're doing is explaining in more detail what those uh what the revelation was at mount sinai regarding those 13 attributes of mercy so we're in number five he does not maintain his anger forever i just want to say what they i should have quoted the the first four in hebrew no avon um now we're dealing in hebrew it's called he doesn't maintain his anger forever which if we do and we incorporate this any of these middle that we incorporate what happens is not only does hashem show us this compassion but he brings it into the world in other words maybe i'll call it a micro right if we do it then we are affected on a micro scale but by us doing and performing these acts of compassion which they are and mercy that he brings it into the world on a mat on a macro scale in other words it affects the world what we do god rabbi kessling gave a amazing class uh last week the title was an in-depth look at the divine plan of creation and just a 30-second you know um quote and well you just go to the ibanez and it should be probably five or six uh videos back because it was uh it was last wednesday so we put up a few videos since then and there's like an orange screen it shouldn't be that hard to find so remember what is god who we don't know right it's very aloof it's very difficult to imagine the unimaginable to we are a finite being and he is infinite or it is infinite so but the yud and the hay and the hay we understand that the word itself that represents god in a certain way character is that he is existence was is and will be hoya those three words are all combined in that one word of hashem's name so he is all existence he's the cause he's the first cause whereas we're creating his image what image is that existence we exist we actually exist but we exist on a whole another plane another level meaning he exists eternally and supernally whereas we exist temporarily in the physical world obviously we have a soul that is a helic [Music] a part of god himself so to speak so when we will experience the existence like a godly existence that's only in the world to come we will be totally intimate and clinging and experience him in a level without any uh distractions or um obstruction right in a totally clear clear way however through doing the mitzvot whether it's a jew doing the 613 or i'm going to say even for enochiad who's not only obligated to keep the seven but all mixes that are logical and all misses they're ethical and of course they can do even beyond that if they want um optionally as an option that um they will also experience because they have a place in the world to come gentiles do okay so with that little brief introduction now we will go into this idea that god does not maintain his anger forever what does that mean so the remark begins by saying zoom me the hairs this is a another this is a different meter than we talked about before and that is why i wanted to mention what the first four were so we have an idea where we're at on the scale meaning hashem will not maintain his anger forever even for the person who is still sinning who's holding on to his sins that's that's an amazing this is a jewish concept hashem i i guess there's certain christians i have to say i mean i don't know that much about christianity christianity i have to admit but they make this assumption that the old testament god was a very angry and then god the new testament is a god of mercy it's like you couldn't be further from the truth first of all i don't know what really the new testament has to claim new but in terms of the old the old testament uh the scriptures themselves the bible and god is over and over and over again described by moses god himself through the prophets and what not as we will soon see as compassionate full of mercy and now we're dealing with he will not maintain his anger forever even even when the person is still sinning hashem will not maintain his anger the imoxic now if he does continue to maintain his anger this is the kicker lola's it is not forever and now we will go into well first of all he won not only will he not maintain his anger forever ella java telcaso a fellow shalom he will um but rather what he will do will he only he will nullify ye va tale he will nullify his anger even if the person does not repent does not do chuva this goes against many i'm sure of other religions teachings and now we're going to find the source right the only source it is a source that the the remote brings down in the safer commotion with cena just as we find them then yoash who is your own he was the 14th king of the northern tribes so yurov the first then navad he was the one who helped separate the northern kingdom from the southern kingdom and he he did establish idols believe it or not 150 years later you have we'll call him you rub him the second okay he's your of him then joash and he he maintained the idols he strengthened ida worship in the north now you can find what we're about to discuss in second kings chapter 14 verses 23 through 28 okay now the main thing here is even though he maintained the sin of his forefathers and as a king yes it's second kings chapter 14 verses 23 through 28. with the main thing is that who was shahakis israel hashem either restored returned or even enlarged the northern tribes area meaning when we went to war we won the wars and not only that he even caused peace because some of the wars that he won he captured part of what yehuda had lost and he gave to the kings of yehuda he gave to the king of yehuda the land that he restored so there was a now he was a sinner he was a very evil person and yet hashem backed him there was a compassion the question is what is that compassion why would hashem show the compassion by enlarging the borders of israel i mean this is proof that god is still on the jewish people's side okay so we're going to discuss that because that's the whole point here if they're still sinning why right we see over and over again the pattern has been set the king is a sinner they lose you know horrible things happen then they do chuva because bringing the what we call punishments even though that's not a good english word ownish is in order to awaken and arouse the person to see his evil ways or their evil ways and to to repent and to do true and you see over and over again 40 years of good 40 years of bad this king was good this thing was bad you can see they prosper when they're doing the right thing as the torah promises and then they go down and have economic or horrible wars or plagues whatever it is as a seeming of the punishment and then they do chuva and they they get out of their ways so why would it be while you're still sinning that hashem has compassion and the answer that i think is appropriate we're going to see it is because sometimes the punishments don't help us in other words you can end up losing all hope you can end up in such a pit and abyss that there's no way out you know you're you know that you're sinning you know that you're doing the wrong thing you know and for some reason it just it seems black you know the future just seems black and there's no light at the end of the tunnel sometimes a loving parent will actually i'm not going to call it rewarding obviously that's not what's happening here but there is a incentive like this to show you i'm still with you i still care about you and i want you it's called compassion and that can actually affect chuva so it's not hashem will deal with whatever way he wants right he he knows everything but this is a case this is a clear case where there was no chuva and yet hashem was showing that he was backing the jewish people so if we just take a look at just some of the verses so we know we're talking about here it says like this in the 15th year of ahmadiyya the son of joash the king of yehuda the son of joash who was the king of israel ruled in samaria 41 years by the way that was a long time you can look at the charts and see 41 years was the longest reign in the north that any king had and the next verse says and he did what was evil in the eyes of the lord he didn't turn away from all the sins that you're of them that was the first year of them 150 years earlier at the time of the split after after solomon and the son of nabat that he had caused israel to sin so he was the one who caused israel to sin 150 years earlier his great great great great baby right a grandparent and yet what does the next verse say he restored the boundary of israel okay so that's very important heishi israel who that means hashem hashem returned the boundary of israel and it discusses where and according to the word of the lord god of israel hashem is all according to what hashem had promised through the prophet yonah the same yonah that is a whole book on yonah what did hashem see it says for the lord saw the affliction of israel becoming increasingly severe meaning we were punished we we were sinning and things were not going well and yet as i mentioned when things are bleak and black and there's no light you could really lose all hope of ever doing truva as the verse continues with neither stuart property nor free property and no one to help israel and the lord did not speak to eradicate the name of israel from under the heavens but what did he do he saved them through yeruvam the son of joash and he was an evil guy and yet hashem restored the um the he enlarged in the area and the rest of the events of europe and all that he did and his mighty deeds how he fought how he restored damascus and hamad to yehudah through israel so in other words this evil king how evil could he be obviously he was evil because he was setting up and keeping and maintaining the sin of the goat of these calves that they were worshiping but yet he helped even the southern kingdom we call this kingdom of yehuda as a written in the book of chronicles of the kings of israel so i just want to go through some of the comments here even though we're like we're moving forward in the cl in the clique in the uh in the uh tommy devorah with the ramak i want to just stop and read some of the comments that our rabbis have made and regarding verse 24 by stating that you're wrong with sinful right that's what the verse says and that he did incite others to sin just like his forefather your of them the first scripture introduces the extent of god's mercy as set forth in the next several verses the next verse was he restored the boundary of israel right europe reclaimed the land that had been conquered by the arameans in their various invasions um let me skip to something else that was important so here uh regarding verses 26 and 27 that scripture explains why god conferred such such success and prosperity on your of them and his kingdom even though they were continuing the spiritual decline that led to the foreign conquest god had mercy even on sinners and he quotes this is one of the 13 attributes of mercy by the way i'm quoting from the art scroll i guess the arts draw on the book of kings of chapter 14. so out of these 13 attributes of mercy we call them in hebrew slosh esri midos and one of them is erich slow to anger which means that god withholds retribution to give sinners an opportunity to repent and he may even bestow generosity upon sinners to ease their suffering right again why would that be it doesn't make any sense but if we understand that all that god wants is that restoration of the relationship he wants you to stop sinning but if you are so far and gone let's say and um you see no light at the end of the tunnel it could be as we're going to explain um it's like an either an incentive or some kind of like just a little bit so you can have yeshiva sadash you can have a little bit of peace of mind to contemplate uh doing truva because if things are so bad and you're running and running and running and you don't have any time to think uh you're not gonna do trouba so it continues this is exactly what happened under your ovum as these verses state israel was exceedingly downtrodden and god showed his mercy upon the nation even though that even though they and certainly their king did not deserve it they didn't deserve it perhaps such mercy could influence the people to repent israel suffering had not prodded it to repent thus perhaps gratitude to god would do so happened to be that it didn't really work in this case but that's okay because this is the lesson that we do learn okay there's another comment here had god acted with strict judgment the kingdom could not have survived god already promised i'm gonna have jewish people forever so if again if you are sinning and the media the correct meter the correct measure would have been deserving of punishment but hashem also promised that he would not uh destroy us so you have this juggling act right that hashem has to do there is one thing about yeruvam that merited this divine smile so to speak because he had great respect that he showed god's word when the prophet amos came and proclaimed in god's name that the house of europe would be cut down by the sword this is a quote from prophet amos chapter seven verse nine there was an idolatrous priest named matia who maliciously and falsely reported to the king that amis had said that the king himself would die by the sword and deserve to die as a rebel instead of accepting the report your of them refused to believe you know what he said god forbid that the righteous prophet would say this but even if he did how what can i do to him i mean he's only speaking the words of god right this is what god told them to say so in this merit because he held that the prophet was a true prophet that the torah is the truth and the rest of tanaka whatever they had at the time is real in this merit european was made the agent to restore israel's lost conquests and that's what we have from the oral torah regarding that so going back into the safer itself we understand that your raven ben yosh was somehow either rewarded or the people themselves even though they were sinning i'm going to call it rewarded meaning as opposed to punished okay and yet they were obviously worshipping idols and yet hashem had mercy below even though they did not repent okay clear as much so far now the question that the ramak poses if that's the case why would hashem have mercy and as the the media that we're dealing with shalom that hashem does not hold this anger forever ada you know what he does quite the opposite even he's makri shah po it's not that he's just holding on and not forever but he's what does hashem do he's actually weakening the anger he's dissipating the anger he's allowing the anger to disappear even while the sin is still happening in omanish he's not punishing them yeshua because hashem in his mercy he always is looking towards the jewish people's return right how many verses we have i'll return to you you return to me you return to me i'll return to you there's this constant and this is our desire we want to return to him we want to do truma and hashem you don't think that's what he wants of course that's what he wants so he has to think what's the most effective thing so if we go to psalms in 103 verse i'm gonna i'm gonna he only quotes verse nine but i think as a package if you quote from seven through ten it's a package deal it's an unbelievably deep concept that's going on here and this is going to explain also in the verses about hashem himself what he taught moses so if you start with verse 7 i'm going to let you read the first like it said it's 4 verses 7 through 10 109 some one-on-one so 103 verse 7 8 9 and 10. 103. correct verse 7 says he makes his ways known to moses to the children of israel his deeds the lord is merciful and gracious slow to anger and with much kindness he will not quarrel to eternity and he will not bear a grudge forever he has not dealt with us according to our sins nor has he repaid us according to our iniquities for as the height of the heavens over the earth so great is his kindness towards those who fear him so let's start with seven it's amazing because i mentioned that what prophet mira is doing is explaining what was already explained in chapter 34 of exodus when god revealed the 13 attributes of mercy here king david is saying exactly that it says in i don't know you said god makes known but in my book it's and you have to know the hashem makes known like made knowns right made known god made known to moses moses no longer around time king david it's past tense he had made known his ways to moses children of israel his actions how do we know god we know god by his actions that's why the bible is like the best-selling book you want to know god you have to but you know what people read bad translations they read mistranslations right a lot of fake news out there right so god um the comment here says he made known his ways to moses the 13 attribute attribute of mercy attributes of mercy as we just quoted in chapter 34 of exodus verses 6 and 7. to the children of israel his actions god revealed to israel through the prophecy of moses the ways in which he deals with man so anybody comes and says you know god is eventual yeah they have to know the context that doesn't mean that's who god is it's a character trait it's one of his actions and we find out when these actions are played out what does it mean israel also came to know these attributes through the many wondrous actions that god wrought on their behalf i mentioned in this place last week's parsha of masai these are the journeys of the children of israel that we were 42 years in the desert now i'm sorry we were 40 years in the desert we went to 42 different stations along the way there were 14 in the first year they were eight in the last year and there were 20 in the 20 in the 38 years in between and one place alone we were there for 28 years so one should not think we just wandered aimlessly in the desert but everything there was for a reason but rashi says god may known these 42 stations in order that we should know the kindness there's really a lot of kindness and i mentioned only some of them just think about i mean hashem took care of us he fed us through the man through the mana and he would through the rock he gave us water and our clothes did not wear off we didn't we didn't need to shower we didn't even need to go to the bathroom our shoes never were out right the clothes didn't wear out the shoes didn't wear there was uh a pillar of cloud and the skin was there and it wiped out all the scorpions and all the snakes on and it smoothed everything out for us we walked through relative ease if you have anybody if anybody goes walking in the desert i mean where there's no path you're talking about rocks and fallen logs you know but hashem along the way showed us his kindness and his forgiveness so many times time after time after time um so the last thing i think i read was this them this knowledge of god's just and merciful ways must be brought to the forefront of our minds in times of illness and suffering so even when we're suffering sometimes thank god hashem has that you know like a little opening of a window to remind us of his mercy that it's worthwhile repenting remember if whatever god did we have to act the same way we have to also not maintain the anger forever and allow it to dissipate which we'll see the ultimate goal is to let it go okay and what else here it's really good comments um so rahul khan hashem compassion and grace gracious hashem in verse 8. so the psalmist here enumerates a few of the 13 attributes of mercy which we already discussed earlier um the ibn ezra explains that by exercising these attributes that god heals a sick a sick man and the word rachel compassionate refers to the fact that god ensures that our captors tolerate us and do not completely destroy us despite the hostility they bear us gracious refers to god's concern for our physical sustenance in exile he manifests this graciousness by wondrously providing for all our needs um slow to anger is discussed the abundant kindness is discussed i don't want to i think this is the main thing in number nine so number nine actually verse 9 said he will he will so yeah you have to understand these words he will not quarrel for eternity what is the quarreling when we're doing the wrong thing so what is just the hope that we won't do the wrong thing no even when we're doing the wrong thing he will not quarrel meaning cause problems no he nor will he forever bear a grudge which is at i think this is our verse here so let me explain what he says here so god god exiled israel because he quarreled with them but this conflict shall not endure forever this is part of the prophecy that we would return in um not just to the land but in a uh a healthier relationship he will not he will he will for he will nor will he forever bear grudge it's interesting because we're going to talk about shortly what that means in terms of human human nature so the exiles suffer not only for their own sins but also for the sins of their fathers and ancestors that cause god to exile the jewish nation right we're in the three weeks we're about to we just approached uh rosh chodesh of we're in the the week the week before tishbo and you know we remember we remember why we were exiled why we don't have a temple and ultimately it really comes down to character you talk about sins the worst sin is causeless hatred one has for another and this is what we need to work on so this is reminding us however we are confident that the merciful god will not bear a grudge against our forebears and us forever and now the word quarrel the album uses the word yariv yariv means carl quarrel fighting which refers to an open act of hostility whereas the word yitor is bearing a grudge which refers to animosity that is harbored secretly so he will not bear grudge forever nor for eternity right means that that's in the physical world god will not conceal his anger against us god does not conceal his anger against us he reveals it and openly quarrels with us so that when we arrive to the eternal world the core will cease okay that's all i wanted to bring from this safer but i want to go back into these ideas once we just understood that god will not quarrel forever right and he won't keep his anger forever means hardness so what does it mean rather who will soften the hardness he will actually soften it israel or for the benefit of the jewish people again his ultimate goal is to cause us to want to repent it makes sense that when we're sinning that he brings what we call punishment that's like when you don't listen how many times i have to tell you so i have to bring this like you know big neon sign you're doing the wrong thing sometimes that's a little bit too much he knows he knows when it's too much and therefore he does not maintain his anger forever he says this is ultimately a good trait it's a fitting trait it's something that a person should do when he's in practice he's in his behavior with other people a fellow roy roshan even when it's permitted now one should not be angry to start with but there are times where we do get angry okay even when it's permit permissible even when you're in a position where you you can rebuke or you can penalize or you could punish other people because they're doing the wrong thing even though it might be permitted it's best to refrain what does that mean basically i'm going to just read the english here this is the proper way a person should act toward his fellow even when he has the right to rebuke with punishment his friend or his children and they submit meaning they they agree he should not he should not in consequence in increase his review so the idea of not increasing it below yaksi kaso nor increase your anger a filo shikhas so you don't increase the anger but rather don't maintain it either but you should give vat lenu cause it to dissipate the lioxic do not have this anger forever gum who i'm sorry gum even though if it's permissible we're going to have to ask when is it ever permissible to be angry or to even hate somebody now there is a verse in exodus chapter 23 verse 5. many people probably are aware of this but don't really understand it says if you want to read it in exodus chapter 23 verse exodus 23 verse 5 reads if you see your enemies donkey lying under its burden would you refrain from helping him you shall surely help along with him when you see this is a command this is one of the 613 commandments for a jew it's logical maybe we'll see i don't know how logical it is is it ethical perhaps but we're supposed to imitate hashem hashem will not maintain his anger forever so when you see somebody who you hate his donkey has this load and the load is pressing down the donkey where it fell off somehow you're talking about reach helping the person you hate readjust the load or perhaps it fell off putting it on now it is true that we're concerned about the donkey don't get me wrong you we have a mitzvah right even the the no hides right don't cut a limb off a live animal you were concerned about the pain caused to a donkey so it's true there is concern for the donkey don't get me wrong but we're talking about a much deeper level here it's the person you hate so why do you hate him so according to the meforshim he explained and this is something a lot of people are maybe not aware of in the laws of la shanhara and libel let's say you saw somebody do a sin now we in judaism we have a whole series of you know procedures you can warn them you should warn them and you go and testify against them what if you're the only witness you don't you cannot do any help right most of it's going to be harmful because who's it helping if you're the only witness it's a whole story what's going on here but i mean there are times you have to give rebuke and there are going to be times that you can speak to the bastion and you but in terms of going in and being a witness depends or certain kind of testimonies you give will that will cause the person you're testifying against to make an oath that he didn't do it so that's kind of like putting him in a position to be like the second witness to a certain extent because his oath is worth something perhaps so we're talking about a case where you are sure this person is a sinner and therefore you hate him you don't hate him you hate the sin and so you see him struggling you must put aside your hatred for him remember we're talking about hashem has this trait he doesn't hate forever and we're supposed to imitate him so the torah is telling us you hate him because you have of justified reason you saw him sin for some reason you're like stuck like they call it a catch-22 you can't testify and see justice to its end there's no end right you're gonna have to pray you're gonna have to do something else we could talk about another time but the point is it's actually a sin for you in certain cases to go and speak about this because you only have one witness i mean there's ways to go about in a proper way but if you went ahead and you testified it's you're actually doing a sin because the torah says that he should not be held to guilt unless there were two witnesses and you don't have two witnesses so you're you're causing damage to the jewish people him and perhaps others okay so our verse is referring to a jew could be any human being at this point if you're accepting this idea that he sees the animal under a burden of it's the person you hate we discussed the idea why you hate him it's justified he's a sinner and you can't take it to the next stage so the the remark says and you you witnessed it but you're alone and you cannot testify you're not able to the sony oh so al davraver you hate him because of the sin you don't really hate him right he has a spark of god and there's possible of true of repentance but you're going to hate him because of the sin torah nevertheless the term says you must help him now the the targum the witch targum i think is jonathan um so the translation in aramaic says you remove you let go of that which is in your heart that's what it means it means it's a psychological and emotional exercise you hate this guy i understand the animal is important but we're not talking about the animal we're talking about you're going out of your way you could just walk in this if you didn't see him right you can tell someone else whatever but you should be the one because you have to let go of that which is in your heart and that's really what it means when it says right about the idea of the burden that is on this animal you help him readjust you have to make your own adjustments in your own heart and let it go it's a huge concept here how often are we able to do that it's a huge exercise but this is what god wants of us he wants us to follow in his way and not hold the anger forever and therefore when you see this person the hatred has to be overlooked you have to go and your actions mean a lot eliminate you hear these words rather it's a commits a mitzvah means a command meaning it's the proper thing to do to draw him close with love remember what was the reason you hate him because he was a sinner well guess what you're an instrument and bringing him close just like god was an instrument obviously the ultimate instrument in bringing your ravon then joash and the jewish people back right they were sinking so far 150 years later after the great sin of the division of the northern tribes and yet hashem enlarged the borders he gave them a blessing of the sword in order to bring them back so too you have this hatred in your heart it's not going to do any good he you don't you can't testify you can't really confront him it's it's going to be in heaven to be judged in heaven but you know the person needs to be brought back so by showing him compassion i know you may think okay this is like misappropriate compassion but this is the torah it says when you see this person who you hate and he needs help with a burden perhaps again it's not only because the animal but god says you have to release you have to let it go basically don't hold on to this anger it's going to kill you too this negativity but rather what you want to accomplish is what's best for him what's best for the other person and perhaps by showing some mercy and kindness this will stir up within the person who knows right he knows he's he sinned to eventually do true now i thought of an idea i'm sure it's probably not applicable but i've heard this statement called kill him with kindness now i don't know if that really is appropriate but it just reminds me of that statement right it can't you know maybe kill kill the sin right kill the bacteria right with with kindness right kill that which is negative and evil uh with an act of compassion and kindness and maybe that would be enough to turn around meaning to kill that negativity in the person and bring him around so basically the bottom line is to find out what's the most effective way what's more effective a lot of people don't think this through they have a burst of anger or a burst of hatred or they just close off um but with a little bit of meditation and thinking and consultation with your rabbis um or mentors or therapists whatever it is maybe your wives your spouses uh you'll come to like just through venting and say how can i how can i improve this situation for him is it just to cut him off like tough love i mean sometimes that is the way but it's not the ultimate way the ultimate way is to repair the relationship hopefully his relationship or her relationship with their maker so the um so the remark ends this paragraph by saying derek said maybe this is more effective basically maybe this is the way to help him by doing exactly this meter low hexagon oppo by not maintaining anger forever okay so i do have quite a bunch of notes but i'm not sure that at this point it's so necessary i do have a few verses probably to speak about um and there's there's quite a few different um quotes in the book what does it mean to soften the grievance against the damager so when a person has been harmed whether through his honor or his property and actually has both the right and the ability to repay the assailant with harsh words or punishment or refusing to help him in time of need he should not release his full fury of his anger but rather he should contain his anger as much as possible limiting the intensity of his response even if the assailant has not repaired his misdeed when a person overcomes his own anger against those who have sinned against him against them and deals with them with kindness warmth and sincerity you awaken hashem's merciful attribute this attribute of he does not maintain his anger forever bringing the element of mercy into this world okay um we have um another verse in one in psalms 139 verse 21 i think i don't know why i don't have it here in front of me but this was maybe part of the idea that when somebody is sinning you really feel you have the right to hate them because god hates sinners well it says in the in in psalms hashem hamas god hates um hamas it's an interesting word right hamas means a criminal violent person someone who's criminally violent and that's exactly what hamas is by the way so it's 139 one rabbi that's that's for the for the conductor no no it's not it's not 139 21 21 forgive me okay 21 says did i not hate your enemies oh lord with those who rise up against you i quarrel right so in other words the justification we ask what what right do you have to hate this sinner again even though you might have the right to hate him and then fulfill like certain actions that show you hate him again even hashem does not um forever so even though the verse says hashem i hate those who hate you and fight those who rise up against you there are going to be times you do that they're going to be times you're not what is the most effective you think it through what is going to be the most effective thing um in vayikra in leviticus 1917. you have it 19 17 reads um you shall not hate your brother in your heart you shall surely rebuke your fellow but you shall not bear a sin on his account so you have to find out what is the most effective way to rebuke the rebuke if you do it properly is quite therapeutic i mean you're not you're not attacking him as a person you only want to make him aware of his actions that's what tokiyak ho hiyaki is to prove it's reproof i think in english they even say reproof you want to prove to him a better way that's really all you want to do so how how is he going to listen to you when you're like up in his face and yelling and screaming and who knows what else you're doing but if you want to prove to him there's a better way that you have to figure out what's the most effective way obviously there's going to be people who are just you can talk to them until you're blue in the faith and play face and they're not going to hear you and they're going to continue doing whatever it is they're doing in in public in your face and whatnot but usually it doesn't have to get to that point at least they can respect you as a human being you have your values and maybe you can explain how inappropriate is or it's hurting other people people usually care generally care i think if they're hurting other people right if it's like too metaphysical and invisible they may not care because they don't believe but when you come down to you know the nut you know nuts and bolts of hurting other people perhaps they do um another idea behind this do not do not hate your brother in your heart who is your brother so someone who's at least trying to do mitzvahs right even in ben noah who's at least on the way accepting the idea that it's a serious thing not to worship idols right so you see already they're not going to steal they're not going to murder they're not going to commit adultery and and whatnot but when it comes to idols they're not so clear it's not so but at least they're trying so you don't want to hate this person and basically the word brother means brother your your your brother in torah and missus so for a jew he's looking at someone on a different scale someone who's keeping 613 or trying to for ben noah it would mean someone who's at least accepting of the seven and again perhaps other moral and logical mitzvahs so you want to talk to them in a way that will dissipate your own or behave with them in a way that will dissipate your own hatred so to speak there's another point here i wanted to bring up when a person has been offended and has every right to unleash their anger but actually controls themselves and acts mercifully again he awakens hashem's merciful attribute of again he does not maintain his anger forever and then in as a result hashem will deal kindly with the jewish people even if we're deserving of his anger okay and that we saw already in europe and joash and it was pretty clear i mean there's a few other stories but i think that um i think that's that's it for now wow well that was very helpful for me rabbi i mean part of my job is is moving people out of places they don't want to leave and uh often you know how i deal with them you know can convict me to the heart but uh when you're dealing with the stubborn you know um you know sometimes you've got to get firm and um i don't want anger to touch my heart and so uh you know how do you cope with how do you deal with i think today's message was definitely something i needed to hear and i'm so glad to get some clarification on it really was useful to me and uh thank you so much all right i didn't i didn't i don't have any of the comments in front of me were there were there any uh interesting comments or questions no it's actually been pretty quiet on uh on the social media pages i mean we've got uh our friend michael from germany here and uh my friend barbara also from germany i want to give charlotte a shout out to michael weingart yeah he's been in touch with me time he's uh um and also barbara kolkavod great um yeah thank you that's about it yeah so it's it's uh it's not been a busy busy session but um there's about about 15 people live right now um between the social media pages and uh we're all thankful that people are continuing to tune into this series it's a wonderful series i rabbi post and picks the dudes let me give just a shout out to cena from rene brock i don't know if she's watching but she just liked the link so i'm assuming that she's watching um yeah and i have a friend um i think he's also watching eric from the netherlands who's actually right now in in israel anyway yes so i don't know when the next session will be i'll let you know in a few days whether it'll be in a few weeks or two weeks maybe we'll see right but definitely not next week because of right correct correct yes awesome awesome well we hope that you uh have a wonderful week yourself rabbi and we're thankful that you continue to share these beautiful beautiful messages i can say honestly for me it's it's it's it's like tools i don't have in my tool bin and uh they're that useful and so well look thank you for the opportunity because we mentioned before we went on the air this is really instrumental for me i mean just knowing that they exist maybe superficially of going through them being even reminded once in a while it's not enough it's something that you know is worthy of the effort to testing yeah yeah definitely worthy of digesting it especially if it can if it can stay hashem's uh uh uh wrath yeah it's not right it's not just personal in a micro but it's also affecting the world on a macro but this is what we would say or this is what i would say this is like your true religiosity test it doesn't matter how much you how many tits you wear how much to fill in you put on or you know how many times a day you pray or act like you pray but the working on the character right yeah how much charity you give i guess that does matter but you know some people don't have the money it's about the character it's where the rubber meets the road at making the world a better place for sure yeah you gotta be kind out there and uh uh i i'm so thankful that hashem has shown that uh uh attribute of mercy it's uh it's maybe learn from it and and and begin to uh reflect it in this world and uh yeah right you know when we saw i'm not mistaken right when we saw in psalms 103 what you know just to ask i guess anybody right what does it mean when it says in verse 7 he made known his ways to moses and to the children of israel his actions and then it goes through almost word for word what we see in chapter 34 of exodus right it's uh it's so clear that there's this ongoing tradition we're called the oral torah right from rabbi to student from father the son that there are these attributes of mercy that were set over in chapter 34 of exodus that was said over later by michael chapter 7 king david emphasized it in other words you want to know the torah right this is one of the first things i learned you want to know what the torah is about you have somebody who has a book like this and there's okay here you go what is the book about so you have the cliff notes or whatever whatever you could find out but you look in the beginning god behaved behave with kindness he brought adam clothes he fed adam he brought him a wife these are all acts of kindness and at the very end right he buries moses it's an act of kindness so if you find the very beginning it's about kindness and you find at the very end it's about kindness so the whole book in the middle everything's about kindness that that's how you figure out what a book is about you look in the beginning you look in the end it's got to have your text yeah so we all talking for myself we all have to figure out a way to be more kind i think i could be wrong listen everybody is different right men women especially though um at least my wife is extremely kind and i'm more short and cur and i've always that's just my personality maybe men are like that in general maybe i'm just like that uh specifically but this is one of the the meetings that i have to just the concept of compassion uh women i think are more empathetic i think i can be wrong again not everyone is fits into a cookie-cutter mold but um no beautiful lesson and uh uh uh rook hashem it's it's it's may we all learn to integrate the same uh and uh uh yeah it's just beautiful so all right folks we're gonna sign out for today but we we may be back in two weeks with part six it's up to uh rabbi poston we're gonna leave it in the ball in his court and we look forward to hearing from him and we'll let you know on social media the next time we have a class so we're going to sign up from beyond the seven live from jerusalem with rabbi aaron david poston uh thank you so much rabbi it's one as a introduction he desires kindness so that would be the next one beautiful lead-up and whenever we do it that will be the next chapter the next meda excellent excellent i look forward to it rabbi have a wonderful uh a week yourself and uh and all the best with your fast next week and uh blessings to you and all all israel and uh uh yeah all right we're gonna sign up for today folks bye for now [Music] oh