Tomer Devorah Middah #10 GIVE TRUTH TO YAACOV with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] everybody love me because hey good everybody welcome back uh to another episode of beyond the seven live from Jerusalem with Rabbi Aaron dovet Poston uh who we haven't seen for a few weeks but he's been teaching us the beautiful series Tomer Devore devorah and if you've missed some of these episodes you can find them in the no hide World Center uh broadcast links and you can find them also on the yubinay site yubinay on YouTube wonderful wonderful site um and we're on part 10 today or lesson 10 uh so uh let's just uh check in with the rabbi and see how he's doing Shalom Rabbi Poston it's so good to be back with you I hope all is well with you in Jerusalem and yubinais and uh we're going to turn the class over to you and we look forward to hearing what you've got to say I've got my pen and paper ready to take notes because I am loving this series thank you Dan and thank you all for listening now and if you're listening in the later on in the recording that's great uh glad to be back after you know a short break we had a lot of things going on here in Jerusalem Hashem praise the Lord and um utov to all those uh in Israel and for those schwartov after shop is over and wherever you are in the world uh so we're in a book over my left shoulder I think you can see it right torment devorah so I would ask you all to go back and listen to the beginning because uh we're now on lesson 10. now each one of these 13 attributes of Mercy are actually found two different places in the Torah or the Tanakh the original ones that were given to Moses after the sin of the golden calf after we were forgiven for that sin uh we when Moses asks God to please show me your glory and show me I want to understand you why bad things happen to good people that was really the the underlying premise of the question and uh God explains to him when you're in trouble when you when you when when you want to do truva you um not just say these 13 attributes but you embody them later on in in um in the uh the prophet Mika so we have I think yeah chapter seven you have a repetition it's repeated but they're a little bit different words but they match up and then the same 13 attributes and uh one of the main premises the um the remark remote who wrote the Tamar Devore explains is that when you embody these character traits that actually God embodies then you're bringing godliness down into the world but you're opening the spigots for the flow of these attributes of Mercy not only on yourself which is tremendous but actually onto the whole world um to a certain extent if you want you can really think about what we spoke about a in the breslav tradition tradition called azamra where when you download when you when you judge other people favorably that also means that God will judge them favorably meaning there'll be a better outcome in that person's uh Heavenly uh court and verdict and it actually is reflection on you because you judge them favorably then Hashem judges them they really then the whole world is judged favorably and it has such a uh an immense impact on the world first and foremost on your own life okay so without any further Ado tonight's topic today's topic is the 10th attribute uh which is in Hebrew Titan emis lyakov give truth to Jacob to yaakov what does this mean and when you read when you read the the Torah and you think of giving truth to yaakov when remember we spoke about yaakov himself the name yaakov means to be a deceiver to be crooked but we all know that yaakov actually embodies truth so we're what does that mean that you're asking is it really asking God to give truth to yaakov or The God that or you're acknowledging that God gave truth to yaakov I mean this is one of the attributes of mercy so we have to like really unpack these in Hebrews three words in English it's for but Titan emis liako um what is the truth is right what is the truth there's objective truth there's subjective truth there's something we call truth and then there's something we call the truth of all truths okay in Hebrew Emma is so there is a truth that's down here in this world we'll call it somewhat subjective but as objectives as we could possibly get but that doesn't get us to the ultimate truth that's really in heaven Okay so having this idea that yaakov himself embodies the truth well let's define truth once again Ms is equivalent to like God's signature it's truth it's God's signature like a Signet ring Signet ring in fact the letters alif mem tough it's the first letter the last letter in the middle letter and it's like what's the word it's like yashar it's on a straight path because the uh the olive has two legs standing on the ground the mem has a very strong um I guess a stand whatever you want to call it it's but at least it has also two very strong legs standing on the ground and the tough which is the last letter also has so you're talking about beginning middle and end and everything is is very much sturdy and settled on the ground so it represents Torah because the Torah is the truth Ms it's God's signature which again represents the truth the signature the truth and of course that it's it's not up in the air like the word Shecker Shecker is the opposite of Truth the word Shecker is um not just lies it's falsehood right and each letter the shin is written properly just has one little dot that's on the line so it's basically three lines shooting out from one point then you have the koof which is basically one straight line going down and then you have a race which is just you know the it has one foot on the ground so you see the difference between Checkers is not really firmly established on the ground whereas Ms is okay back to the name yaakov we all we we spoke about this idea that it is what it represents and Jacob himself in a certain sense did axed which we would perceive as deceptive with the um stealing the bracha he didn't steal the bracha but he did get the bracha that was supposed to be for Asaf and there was this seeming deception that was going on I think we talked about this where he says you know his father asked you know you talk yes you know you know I I you know I I smell I smell a stuff right I hear I hear you I hear the voice of yaakov yeah says it was it's I you're first born Asaf now there's many ways to interpret that because you can say I who is that it's I and then there's a comma and then you see he says Asaf is your first born okay so there's deception there and he got it from his mother who told him to do such a thing he went through the whole story with love on and everything all the deception was done to him and now he uh outsmarted his father-in-law and then coming back into Earth Israel and how he had to deal with Asaf okay which we talked about in patch classes also how it was seemingly deceptive or at least in my clear car classes how he um he Butters him up he's flattering him and then he's even worried that his own flattery is going to be jailed against him so we see in a certain sense Yahoo now Israel kale we're going to be dealing with both names that's why I'm giving you some background here and yeshurin you sure and the Jewish people you're sure him because we're straight which is the opposite of crooked I right it's the opposite of crooked Okay so yaakov actually has the when we say Co-op means power but it also means ability or potential he actually has within him the potential for the deepest truth because what was he really doing when he I'm going to use the word again tricked his father and to give him the blessing or when he dealt with LaVon in a deceptive fashion he was really being truthful he was making True Justice can you imagine what was the original broth was supposed to go to Asaf eternity and this person was not worthy of Eternity and it wouldn't have been good for the world if asaph had the eternity but instead of yaakov got it because that's the highest truth so he has the ability to reach up to the highest truth but for more appearances down here it doesn't look so your Char so kosher but that's the difference between yaakov and Israel yaakov we're going to say is on the lower level in fact the word itself means foot I know we just said it means deceptive every word in Hebrew has like eight different meanings that's why you need a rabbi to teach you you can't just figure it all out yourself you'll see it means the the heel of the foot um so we're talking about yaakov being on the lower level as opposed to you shrubbing on the higher level or let's say when am Israel when the Jewish people reached the potential they're called yusrael and when they haven't yet reached their potential on a lower level they're called they're called um yaco so before we even begin I want to take you to Exodus 19 3 just to give you an idea that the difference between the the names yaakov and yusro so if you want to read the verse for us uh Exodus 19 3 Moses ascended to God and the Lord called to him from the mountain saying so shall you say to the house of Jacob and tell the sons of Israel so on that verse Rashi explains maybe I should just read it in Hebrew emotion God and Moses ascends to God Hashem God called him minhar from the mountain saying laymore kosomala vashiaco the word emors you shall say there's a difference between Amor when you should say to the house of the the house of Jacob it's a very different language it also means to tell over but it's a harsher language and more is a very soft spoken language you have to speak to the people of yaakov who are on the lower level the truth is Rashi explains it a little bit differently and I hope nobody gets upset okay but then when you speak to the the Israel you can speak tough to them because they're on a higher level and they can take it now I want to show Rashi says that when it says to the base yaakov it means to the women because you have to speak to them in a gentle language whereas the man you speak in a harsh language I said don't don't get upset don't get upset this is uh I know we're dealing in a world today where things are all you know these pronouns and people are all mixed up um but uh let me read the rest around she says so when you speak to the house of Jacob these are the women speak to them in a gentle language the word emore expresses that and tell the kid gloves yeah use kid gloves tell the sons to be the Shroud the punishments and the details of the laws that you should explain to the males things that are as harsh as wormwood I'm going to give you an ex you know it doesn't literally mean men and women although it does you know what I'm saying like it means those who are on a more sensitive and don't take things so uh so uh straight then give it to them in a soft fashion but this is the idea I'm taking one step further we're not really dealing with men women we're dealing with the idea of those and you'll see we're talking about the average Jew is going to be yaakov and then next the next me to number 11 is that's going to be dealing with the Sadiq him the ones who are truly righteous okay so let's just keep to the idea that yaakov is on the lower level Israel's on the high level and so how do we deal with the Jews that are on let's say I'm not even going to use the word lower level anymore the ones that are on the simple level the simple Jews okay and that's what we're talking about male and female so now we got that out of the way let's look I mean I really have so many notes here like I'm not sure what part I should use in the you know in the introduction but whatever I didn't say in the introduction I will fill in the blanks as we go um no maybe I'll make one more point before we begin um we talk about in the future when mashiach comes that the mountains will be lowered The Valleys right everything's going to be straight so this is the idea of the the truth the ultimate truth coming out in the future time when meshiach comes where everything will be straight yashar because that's what straight means you sure and um so yaakov is let's say pre-messionic and Israel is post Messianic or during during the Messiah so this just to give you another idea of the names before you know to lay the groundwork here okay so let's get into it the uh the remark in Tomah Devore begins Mita zuhi Israel Mala now in the pr I'll translate this in a second the previous the one we did before this and the number nine which was quite quite the uh quite the discussion this was a meter that was good for God this is a meter that's good for the Jewish people okay so interestingly enough obviously when it's good for the Jewish people it's going to end up being good for God but it's attributing this media specifically to the Jewish people God's giving truth to yaakov okay so it says that this attribute points a virtue to the Jewish people Islam have been on him what are bain on him Vayner name were the average people that they don't know enough to go beyond the letter of the law right that Sadiq Israel they go beyond the letter of the law that should be like how have I if only we all did that but the truth is however if we only just did what he's about to describe keeping the law as it is without even going beyond the letter of the law at least yaakov should do that and yaakov does that and that maybe the problem okay actually is again more reminds me of the Gomorrah that discusses why was the temple why were the Jews exiled from Jerusalem and during the second at the end of the second temple and was destroyed and one of the answers the Gamora gives because they kept the law and of course anybody learning that's going to scratch their head what keeping the law that's why we were exiled and of course the Gomorrah goes on and explains because they didn't keep the letter of those they didn't go beyond the letter of the law so if you're just average that's let's just say that's not so great but listen the average dude does it so we're going to now look at it in a positive sense that when God actually sees the Jews the average Jews that are keeping the law they're just keeping Emmett not the Emmett amito not the ultimate truth which is going to beyond the letter of the law but it's keeping the law there are these negatives involved that he overlooks because he had he knows that they're just flesh and blood and he'll Overlook that and he'll have mercy and ultimately we whoever we are whether we're Israel Yakov you know whether we're average or we're above average how are we supposed to look we are supposed to look with the same caviarco as if we had the same eyes as God has and to have rahmanud and have some kind of Mercy on the Jew that is just keeping the letter of the law it's a big it's a lot that I just said but that takes a lot of character development for that person who thinks that they're doing great and doing above the letter law and why isn't everyone else doing what I'm doing guess what there's a lot of conceit that can happen there and the separation and say well I'm better and I'm not going to associate and I'm not going to be involved there look I don't know I want to say you know they're lower than me and this is a tragedy this is a tragedy because God doesn't do that God is actually quite I'm not going to say he's superly uh we're overly uh accepting of the idea that they're not going to be beyond the letter of the law but he knows who you are because he created you so I just want to mention because we're on the the world the North High World Center why what doesn't know how any North High who's listening to this I believe is listening because they want to absorb and Garner the knowledge that the Jews have so you could apply this to your fellow your fellow you know when you talk about okay I'm a noahide who believes in the Torah from heaven and I believe in the Jewish Mission I've accepted all that so it makes me a righteous Noah hide and I do everything I can to keep the seven at least I walk it though yeah what do I do how am I looking at a non I would say non-righteous but a noahide who came to the understanding that these laws are good for mankind they're good for the world they maintain the world I is that no hide don't believe that the world came the the world came that there was a God that created the world and gave the Jews the Torah perhaps so how would a righteous knock I'd look at this I'm not going to call him an unrighteous but this has to be a term for it a um a secular humanist I think they should I think Embrace that person I think that that's a good level to be on and I think that's what the rambam expresses that person is going to be blessed in this world that person may not see and probably will not see uh Eternal world to come but so what I mean it's a sad thing but get this person is helping to maintain the world he's holding on to let's say you know values that the rest of the high World holds on to uh you know the the more righteous ones you should embrace this person and not not not fight with him or or chase him out of your groups or whatever it is uh he's entitled right there's no coercion here it's it's sad that he doesn't believe but and it will affect his world to come but nevertheless this person is blessed by Hashem yeah Hashem will bless him in this world or her okay let's go on so we just said that the average Jews those banonim who don't know how to go beyond the letter of the law hey Nick Ram Jacob they're just going to be called yaakov as we describe what the name yaakov represents because all they're doing is what's what's supposed to be done not they're not going to be on the letter you know you can you of Jews they said Yeshiva or they go to a synagogue and they just say just I'll do the minimum just tell me what to do and I'll do it okay it is what it is so the next paragraph says God also has this character trait of Emet ious and this is from the aspect let me just try and look what the translation here is what did I translate with I not translate okay so Hashem also has this attribute of Truth which is from the aspect of use the word mitzias the mitzias of mishpat so it's like those words go together so from the just the reality of judgment and um how does he translate and correctness Joshua straightness God also has that attribute the Elohim the Yoshi you know what towards those people who act in this world with correctness how does God act how does he view them so he's going to treat them like me to connect me to imagine for measure we talked about that however he does go beyond he actually has a lot of I'm not going to call it sympathy it's mercy and um you know Rahim he has such compassion on them from that aspect of his aspect of being um correct and and with Justice now that's from God's point of view gum came Adam so too what a man needs to dovero we're supposed to treat our fellow human being outside so we're all supposed to use this yahshus meaning the straight path and this emiss without veering away without how does he translate it without veering from the justice of his fellow but rather to have mercy on him with truth using the truth to have mercy on him like Hashem is Barack his Mirage MS that Hashem is using like measure for measure he's going to treat the benonine with strict Justice to a certain extent but that is only to fix them to help them to repair them but we spoke in the way in number nine where all of these negative consequences have to go somewhere we talked about the um that goat that's going to be thrown off right giving the sudden it's due these things are ultimately in order to fix us to perfect us and [Music] okay I just have so much stuff here now let the last statement we have within us three major relationships this is called the Holy Trinity in Judaism right we have to work on character between us and ourselves I have I have to sleep every night with myself I'm the only woman I die I'm going to the Grave nobody's coming with me okay I have to be honest with myself we talked about the 12-step programs and the idea of making a inventory of your character traits things that are negative of course you also should write those were positive but these are things that only you know about and how you treat yourself and how you look at yourself so that's called me to me then there's an idea there's another relationship and that is the relationship we have with others and then there's a third relationship and that's the relationship we have with us and God then Adam lamakum now ultimately what The Clique with the clear Christ say the remark is telling you here is how to begin you always have to begin with yourself you have to have self-love right we have the most important principle in Judaism and the whole world knows it right you have to love your neighbor as yourself great question what if you don't love yourself how can you possibly love anybody else so it really if that's the ultimate goal and by the way Lara means your fellow but not always it actually is the use for the name of God meaning God is your fellow God is your mate okay so this idea of we have to read actually embodies this this statement number one you have to love yourself or you can't love others is not only your neighbor which you could mean that's how it's translated but also Hashem is your your so basically you start with yourself um and then eventually it will hopefully if you do love yourself then you will love others and then ultimately it would expand to loving God people who have real issues with loving themselves never get beyond that point and have unbelievable trials and tribulations in their relationships so one of the main things remember we're talking about Emma's tiakov is that the MS right as I spoke about in the 12-step programs making an inventory of yourself so one of the things that you must do here is to fully accept all of your flaws as god-given that God gave this is your unique and special journey in this world that the next shy or next person is not sharing you may have anger issues he may have I don't know what other issues right everyone has particular issues and you should know that we were not created perfect we were created in perfect and their life's journey is hopefully to perfect ourselves so as we just said in the last line that this idea of meet us I am is if you just to try to imagine what it means to take an inventory is in order to fix yourself and we must embrace our imperfections um you have to learn how to love yourself and love those traits that are imperfect even if you're uncomfortable with them they're going to be many times many things that when you're taking this inventory that you're not comfortable with well that's okay that's really okay um yeah okay now uh in the book itself that I have behind me on my left shoulder goes through different some different ideas and I want to share them with you so when a person does what is strictly required of him without going Beyond his obligations we should treat him with strict adherence to justice but it has to be tempered with Mercy we should give him the benefit of the doubt it's a huge thing in Judaism it's called um you have a scales and they're you know they're not even right you look at the person and you're judging them unfavorably so now with your own eyes your set of eyes and your brain that God gave you judge them favorably you don't know you can't judge somebody until I think somebody said it told you you walked a mile in their shoes right well that's from khazal because I'll tell them tell us you cannot judge somebody until you're in their shoes I don't know if they said the mile but you cannot judge them until you're in their shoes meaning till you're in the same place the same predicament so you have no idea what their background is you know with the maybe it was trauma whatever it is uh thinking of somebody let's say who's very left-wing in anti-israel you have no idea what their parents brainwashed them or Society brainwashed them or peer pressure right of course they should be thinking of course they shouldn't be you know self-hating but we don't know you don't know all their background that um that gave them so you have to try to see from their perspective what we when we do this we actually awaken God's merciful trait of T10 Ms lyakov giving true tiakov and we're bringing the element of Mercy into the world we're Awakening it and it's coming down so there's a major amazing benefit when you um when you um when you judge favorably it's actually one of the 613 Commandments for us uh to judge your people favorably okay so now when people show consideration and mercy to those who do not go beyond the precise letter of their obligations Hashem sees this and he has Mercy even on the average people who do at least what is just and true Hashem shows them Mercy according to their own ways now just to reiterate about these ideas the Jewish nation has two names yaakov and Israel we mentioned in the past that Israel means a leadership role and it refers to the best of the Jews that sadiqing the name yaakov refers to the average Jews who don't have these high standards of holiness um they usually go beyond remember this is really the whole idea beyond the seven right the whole series is called beyond the seven because we would like to encourage you as long as you're a a noahide you might as well investigate the Torah see if it's true and once you say buy into it once you accept that the troll is probably true then the whole message is behind it the Jews were chosen for a mission and everything else that goes with it is going to make or break whether you have eternal life or not I mean this is like the bottom line or not believable that you have if you haven't been taught this so here you heard it for the first time and don't believe me go and investigate it yourself that you could be a a no hide and you can fit into one of two categories either you're just a wise intelligent being and you will be blessed in this world but not in the next or you're a believing and you are going to go as I would say beyond the seven now beyond the seven means that you understand that all these seven principles are obligated on you but additionally any logical and moral narrative ethical okay so this already takes you beyond the seventh okay so today can go beyond their minimal obligation in their relationship with God they fulfill mixers in the most mahuda way mahuda means the glory in a glorious way in a beautiful way much farther beyond what was originally demanded of them no in the relationship with others they would go the extra mile they don't enter into Petty calculations of exactly what they deserve and exactly what they're obligated to do they're willing to forego they're just desserts in order to help others average people fulfill their obligations but they do not lift themselves above considerations of how much they deserve in other words they're not getting Petty this is exactly what I deserve for this is what exactly I should do if they are they're going to get exactly what they deserve so if you go beyond you'll be you'll be much blessed for it it's the whole attitude in the midst of observance right some people just oh I'll just keep kosher I'll just a bit of Shabbos I'll just do what I have to do well that's not the right that's not the the highest level um such a person has the same standards applied to him when he's judged for his wrong distance wrongdoings in others he'll be judged because he's so careful I'm just going to do this and this and this to the to the letter of the law so God will be let's say that's the Assumption God will um judge you exactly to the letter of the law however Hashem does this with Mercy he's treating them with the attribute of giving truth to to yaakov he'll also give them the benefit of that remember it starts with us giving the benefit of that we open up that flow and it comes down um according to their situation and Deals kindly with them when applying the statutes of justice and correctness now I want to take you on a little journey we talked about these ideas before right you have again in the 613 Commandments do not take revenge and do not hold a grudge okay there is an interesting Rashi on that but if you go to Leviticus chapter 19 verse 18. Leviticus 19 Verse 18 says you shall neither take revenge from nor bear a grudge against the members of your people you shall love your neighbor as yourself I am the Lord this is the famous statement at the end but what comes right before it so if you want to embody love your neighbors yourself sorry let's try to understand what this verse is saying there's a difference between holding a grudge and and holding um Revenge okay don't take revenge nor bear a grudge we discussed this before but I think we're going to go into it a little bit further because we didn't see all the nuances Rashi says for example someone says to somebody lend me your sickle a sickle by the way trust me I have no idea what I'm talking about but it's probably like more like a machete but it's rounded it has a very sharp edge and that needs to always be sharp and the more you use it the less sharp it becomes as opposed to an ax I'm sure that it's really nice to have a very sharp ax but it's the weight of the or the muscle behind it we call the elbow grease that's going to have the greater impact on um on what you're trying to chop so okay so someone says lend me your sickle and the second person says no now the following day the one who was told no says to the other guy lend me your ex I'm sorry so the guy who didn't give the first day comes back and says can you lend me your ax now if the person says to him I'm not going to lend it to you just as you did not lend it to me so you're not giving it and you're telling him because you didn't give it to me that's called Revenge now there's attitude involved and there's action involved so what is the attitude we're not sure at this point but there's certainly he didn't give it to him so that's Revenge now what constitutes bearing a grudge for example the guy said lend me your ax remember the first example was let me your sickle it's reversed I never noticed this before until I learned it now in preparation for this class guy says lend me your ex and he says no now the next day the guy that was told no to comes to him and he says I'm sorry the guy that said no on day one comes back to the next thing he asks lend me your sickle just notice it's reversed first was an act now it's a sickle now if he says to him here it's for you I'm not like you no in action he actually gave it to him but he's he opens his mouth and he says here it is I'm not like you who did not lend to me now what's really happening here it's he's a really nice guy he's lending him the guy he's lending the guy what he needs and he's giving him constructive criticism what could be wrong with that I'm not like you who didn't lend to me this constitutes bearing a grudge because he keeps the hatred in his heart even though he didn't take revenge it's interesting now we're going to take it apart we're going to look at this a little bit closer so we know that the tourist says tells us do not take revenge nor Harbor a grudge rash is giving an example of not taking Revenge right let's use names ruvane s Shimon to lend him a sickle Shimon refused so shim was on the on the the and the answering side the next day Shimon who said no to him the day before but it was a sickle he asked Reuben to lend him an ax and rubain says you know you didn't lend me you're sickle so I'm not going to lend you my ax either that's we call Revenge okay what about bearing The Grudge if Shimon refused to lend an ax but the next day he himself asked to borrow a sickle and he says yeah here's my sickle not like you I do lend things to people okay that's how Reuben answered and this is called bearing a grudge although Reuben did nothing bad to Shimon he carried harsh feelings towards him in his heart so the actions were Fair he lent them the ax or in this case the sickle actually okay so he describes the difference between the ax and the sickle the axes power to chop doesn't lie necessarily in the sharpness of its blade but in its weight and the strength of which it's yielded therefore even if it's used over and over again it's where with usage is quite minor it remains just as fit however in contrast the sickle's efficiency efficiency in harvesting wheat lies primarily in the sharpness of the blade as it is used it becomes duller making it harder to use therefore it's understandable that people might hesitate to lend it out remember that wasn't the guy's attitude though now in rashi's second case Ruth Lane asked for simple acts which there was no reason for human to refuse no harm would actually come to the ax if ruvane were to borrow it nevertheless nonetheless selfish him on refused for no reason other than he didn't care to help revene the next day Schumann asked to borrow a sickle which is more delicate and ex let's say it looks a little bit more expensive instrument than an ax even without shiman's refusal the day before ruven would still have a good reason if the reason was because he he needed it for his own business or he someone else is going to borrow he didn't have time to sharpen it for whatever reason he had a good reason to refuse Shimon is guided only by his own personal interests he actually sees he sees nothing wrong with refusing a favor one day and asking a bigger favorite from the guy the next day right because it was an ax and then he asked for a sickle shiman does not apologize mentions nothing about his refusal the day before and gets straight to the point right lend me your sickle seemingly ruvane is a kind of giving person overlooks yesterday's events he's happy to do a favor lend even as expensive and easily damaged tool he brings shim and the sickle and offers a word of instruction why not I'm not like you I mean you know you should be more giving yesterday you refused to lend me an ax but today I agreed to lend you my sickle what's wrong what is wrong with this Grudge not only did he lend schimlin the sickle he even gave him an earful of good advice Ruben's Behavior seems exemplary yet it's a sin right the Torah tells us that Ruben violated the Torah prohibition against bearing a grudge the sides of the story yeah you get it and the size of the story seem to be turned Shimon appears as a selfish thoughtless one while ruvane appears to be kind and generous and even giving full good giving good good advice but the Torah has an entirely different look on the matter Shimon the selfish one committed no sin while ruvane the generous one transgresses the toe prohibition how do we understand this so listen to this I would say drum roll please at this point the Torah does not judge a person harshly for his poor character traits alone right as long as they're not expressed through bad Deeds okay so we have bad character traits what happens are we going to follow through with bad Deeds or not God created us with these character traits to work on so on the one hand a person is generate with generally good traits who thinks that everyone should be like him can fall into the Trap of conceit he has criticism for those who do not meet his standards and expresses his disappointment and people who are not quite as kind and generous themselves he therefore transgresses the total prohibition against insulting people and bearing grudges the Torah says this is the problem so for us if we're going to fit in that category who are like Israel who are on a higher level spiritually and physically or whatever you know it should come down into the world that when we see people on a lower I'm using quotes here air quilt lower level who don't go beyond the letter of law why should we look down on them why do we expect them to be on this level that we supposedly are on Shima on the other hand goes about life as he sees fit caring only about himself in this story he had transgressed no prohibition has even more Mercy for Shimon than he has with ruvane with his crooked generosity this example shows us how to treat each person according to his own level of understanding although his paths seem bizarre and improper to us we should have mercy on him on his own level without making the grading comments or feeling Superior to him unbelievable now there's another story in the Gomorrah I want to tell you about and um this is also dealing with the idea of Truth when you go to a wedding a Jewish wedding especially but I imagine any wedding any wedding so you meet the bride for the first time right this is your boyfriend your friend you've had from who knows how long and you see the bride for the first time he's been dating her and you scream she is so ugly what are you supposed to say so the Gamora discusses a case of a man who marries a woman who to say bluntly is ugly his friends and family come to the wedding to take part in the festivity they want to encourage him with the Praises of the bride's Beauty so they say the color the kasuda the bride is beautiful and graceful but after taking one look at her they found themselves stuck in an unpleasant quandary that's what you're supposed to say what should they say so there's a mock Locust be Shaman base Hillel shamai says tell it like it is tell it like it is well the words are praise the Bride As she is she's ugly okay Hillel says they should say the bride is beautiful and graceful meaning she's pretty now tell me is that the truth is we go like Hillel okay we know we go like hello like in almost everything Hillel says you lie hello is this the truth sugar-coated well we do know that beauty lies in the eye lies it lies down in the eyes lays that beauty lays in the eyes of the beholder could be a match made in heaven I mean you know who's going to marry each other just these people for whatever reason they they had the chemistry for some reason they think each other is beautiful they're just you know what I'm saying maybe love is blind or they really see the inner character of each of each person and they're aware of the outer alcohol defects or whatever it is doesn't bother them it's they're blind to that because the love and the connection they have they have so really this person the groom sees his bride as absolutely beautiful the most beautiful thing in the world and so what are you saying now when I say she you gotta you gotta catch you're the luckiest man in the world is that the truth of course it's the truth I mean that's really what we're coming down to right remember bayshine basically says the Torah itself says right from varshakar you have to remove yourself you have to be far away from anything that's not true that's why shama is holding on like uh like dear life to the truth you have to say the truth okay well you go like Shanghai according to you and what what should we tell a person who made a bad purchase in the marketplace so you come home and you show your wife now let's say it's non-refundable it doesn't really fit I don't know listen when someone purchases something that is non-refundable and you have a hard time telling him that he he made a mistake so let's say it just looks horrible on him it fits I mean you know what are you going to say yeah you know you have to say like I don't know that would be a great thing to wear on Purim no that would hurt his feelings right so listen if something is non-refundable but it's useful or they got you know listen if they got ripped off if they really were you know gypped so then you should help them find Justice right I'm sure many salesperson tells you oh look this looks so beautiful on you right okay anyway so there's a there's certain halah of making sure that um if you bought something already that as a friend you don't necessarily tell him the truth right you kind of you know whatever hey let's read the words instead of what I have to say about it so according to you what should you tell person who made it a bad purchase in the marketplace should we criticize it or praise it of course we should praise it says basilo from here the Gomorrah concludes that a person should always be now this is in Hebrews which basically means you mixed you have to see where they're coming from and what they want to be how they want to be treated um it literally means his Outlook should be mixed with the outlooks of the others put yourself in their shoes as opposed to you looking at it and thinking ah you didn't do well if it's not returnable or he could still use it I mean like you want to tell somebody cut it up for rags and use it to clean your toilet I mean whatever yeah go ahead uh we got a question mark from uh somebody on uh YouTube uh they say I have a lot of bad character traits is there a concrete start to transform that look there's a lot of good sparring a lot of good books um the Messiah desharim would probably be a good that's the path of the just but developing a relationship with a mentor having somebody you can trust who can be honest with you um look best thing in my world it would be a rabbi in your world it wouldn't hurt wouldn't hurt to have a rabbi but a good friend who I don't know if you're married if you're not married obviously hopefully your wife or your husband will uh Point things out um but I would just suggest something like the missiles you're sharing because it's a very organized uh Miss sudar organized way of going through it that's by the ram cow right no no it's um is it Remco yeah yeah very kabbalistic and very deep but on a very simple level it's it's really there to help you with character traits look there probably are other books you know besides Jewish but it's a lot right I can probably you know the person sends me an email I can send them a whole list there are so many and they're translated into English and they're easy read um there are a lot of videos right you don't have to buy books all the time but the main thing is to find somebody look people go to therapy they pay a lot of money just to talk to somebody the question is the therapist good are they just listening or are they giving really sound advice to help you work on your character of course 12-step programs are if you work it properly uh can can be quite instrumental in helping you with your character traits the main thing is you have to be honest with yourself pray to Hashem to to give you the the strength to be honest and the strength to see it right to take the blinders off and to help you find the path to work on each character you know the rambam also has uh the basics of the idea sometimes doesn't always work but it should if you feel you have an extreme with a character trait you find a way to go to The Other Extreme in order to come to the middle the goal is the middle but like a uh a piece of wood for example a warped piece of wood you can't just straighten it sometimes what you have to do is bend it to the other let's say Reed to bend it to the other extreme right and then slowly with the rambam teaches yes okay so the ramban right eight chapters in the eight chapters yeah he really explains yeah you know the cure for uh uh an illness sick Soul yeah he explains uh one extreme one exception what was the exception first of all anger right that's something uh that's uh unusual you have to work on it in an unusual way um but uh humility humility it's okay to be extreme in humility okay uh let's go on let's you have another question all right so I just want to finish the last point that Hillel points out basila points out that since its amidstv to see things from the other person's point of view then it's appropriate to praise the purchase that someone has made since he apparently liked it why else did he buy it right I mean if he's a real pushover and the salesman really got a hold of him and lied to him you know then here's the case and you can try to get you know um try to get your money back um but anyway this is not considered dishonest since it is true from the other person's vantage point this is the goal to get into the other person's head and not judge them harshly um I mean I'll just continue to read Because this is just things that I've already mentioned the Miri says that it is a Mitzvah to make the the bride and and groom happy to endure the bride to her husband and to dance before them with words of Praise including Praise of the kala a person need not be worried that he might praise her with quality she doesn't really possess rather he should praise her generously even more than is really fitting for her a person's mind should be in tune with those around him provided he does this whatever he's doing is not going to be Hashem a desecration of God's name everyone knows you're religious or righteous and if you go overboard with your your White Lies it's obviously not not fitting you should not be exacting with people don't hold them to account too much or speaker act towards them with no more than the minimum of what they deserve rather should be generous in your deeds and speech the more he does the more he's to be praised in and around the discussion of how to praise the kala whether she does or she does not have these qualities for which she is praised we learn an important practice that applies in many areas okay now I want to get into some really interesting stuff if a person buys something that he thinks is nice and he can no longer return it there's no point in criticizing it he liked it it fits his taste rather than criticizing it's actually a Mitzvah to praise it so he will be happy with his purchase even in my opinion and the truth from my viewpoint is that he made a bad purchase telling him will just upset him for no reason so I have a few notes here when we were talking about objective Truth Versus subjective truth if everyone had their own subjective view of Truth and there are no objective limits to what is acceptable is that true are there there have been Nations who developed this is very good for the noahide there have been Nations who developed legal and social code that condones or even encourages bloodshed I mean whether it was in the Mayans in Mexico x amount of thousands of years ago where they made that human sacrifice took out hearts and sacrificed them to their gods or you know Nazi Germany that felt they were doing the world a favor right and they they claim this fits into their view of Truth to answer this the media has a caveat provided this does not entail Hashem again back to the idea that it has to still even if it's subjective it still has to fit into or within objective truth a person is entitled to have his own view of Truth regarding what he perceives as beautiful however our subjective view of Truth does not entitle us to go against hashem's will now regarding that last statement about the um if someone bought something that's not refundable keep in mind that there are real like there's a Mitzvah not to overcharge by a certain amount and therefore that purchase is null and void and there's a legal obligation for the owner or the seller to take the money back um therefore so you have to you know you know what you're talking about here person got ripped off you don't tell them how nice it is uh if you know that he was the victim of a crime okay so the bottom line is this also judges a person after taking into account the truth from that person's point of view on the one hand there is objective truth the attribute of strict judgment um of strict Justice claims that is an unpardonable offense with when a lowly creation dependent on Hashem for his very survival dares to sin against him Hashem watches every move it's true this is a fair and just claim such a small and insignificant creature how can such a person like me a sin against such a mighty creator well guess what Hashem doesn't see it this way Hashem understands people according to their situation okay um Hashem takes into consideration that he created man with all his failings and desires these defects that we have within us are god-given he understands the big picture I just want to stop for one second and tell you there was a great Rabbi about a hundred years ago he um he spoke about you know there was a big rift between religious and non-religious how do you treat people who either were religious and became non-religious or people who aren't religious and are anti-religious there's a thing called a tinaksha nishba tinakshinesba means someone who's captured by the Gentiles now that makes sense from a Jewish point of view right in the Holocaust unfortunately men and women parents were sent off in these cattle cars maybe never see their their infants again they would give their infants to a nice Christian family or a non-jewish family and they would beg please make sure you let him know if we don't return that he is Jewish some did some didn't so the ones who didn't these children grew up not knowing they were even Jewish it's a tragedy now think about it doesn't matter whether you're Jewish or not you're brought up in a society where it's Godless meaning right and there's no talk about values in God anymore in the school system or even at home and you can be two three generations so is this person to blame for his Outlook that he believes that the world is was never had a Creator it always was condition we have to have compassion and pity on these people and it's you know Hashem certainly does and this is true by a gentile as well who has a hard time understanding these seven laws doesn't buy into it been conditioned not to believe in the Bible or that the Bible is the reason for all the wars in the world right whatever they're conditioned to believe uh it's very sad but this is that this is where they came from so you can have a dialogue a respectful diet but to call them evil because they don't believe is is a stretch when when the kazanesh explains these people were brainwashed by their parents or Society and therefore Hashem has compassion obviously we should have compassion on them as well the the we we end with Hashem is good and correct therefore he shows Sinners the way this is a great verse um in Psalms 25 8. you have it Psalms 25 verse 8 says the Lord is good and upright therefore he leads Sinners on the road what does this mean right she says the Lord is good and upright he wishes to exonerate his creatures we're supposed to emulate Hashem God is good told the Usher hear the words Cove the Usher Hashem therefore he actually instructs Sinners on the way what does that mean the way of repentance Hashem he he will help every single one of we we have to just pray to him open our eyes give us instruction he will give it to you so um I just finish here Rashi explains that Hashem seeks to vindicate his Creations therefore he guides Sinners on the path of chuva in the case discussed in the Gomorrah we see that there's no dishonesty or inseere flattery in treating each person according to the person's Outlook this is the real truth which the Torah obligates us to follow so we have to have mercy judge favorably obviously there are extreme cases where there's nothing we can do to justify I'm sure these cases are probably very rare but there are cases like that we're not going to try to justify Hitler or you know any of these you know horrible horrible horrible unforgiveness consider the entire circumstance yeah yeah I think you know we see too often and especially the last decade or so the rise of moral relativism and uh I think by its very nature it doesn't it cannot profess to have any firm answers uh though the reality is we all have our own individuality and our own complexity and our own way of looking at things and um uh you know Hashem is uh you know fearfully wonderfully made each and every one of us unique and if people would truly understand that hashem's love for you is made in your uniqueness don't uh uh beat yourself down with the low self-esteem a lot of people here in the west that come out of Christianity are just squashed self-esteem and they have they've developed a mindset they're conditioned to have a mindset that if they have self-esteem they're somehow arrogant and um you know trying to see that you know fostered in people uh back to a healthy extreme um like the rambam did teach you know uh sometimes if you've gone too far to one side you need to go so far in the opposite direction for a period and then balance it out rather the correct cure might be in the middle but if you try to come from too far of an extreme just to the middle it won't be enough to to straighten the bent piece of wood like you were talking about uh yeah gotta bend it all the way back and then then the bow will settle in the middle and so that means in life sometimes the the punishment for arrogance is is shame and uh that shame you know is to you know wake you up hey don't be like that right yeah I mean I've spoken many times the work that you do on your character traits you will I believe because I've experienced it feel the satisfaction and the self-love and the self-worth that you didn't feel prior to working on it you know it's like you do a Victory lap you know you came in you got I don't know whether it's one two or three but you got on the stand there you know with the trophy you won in the first three places I mean you're a winner you know if you can conquer it says all the wisdom in the world if you can conquer one trait it's more than all the wisdom in the world that you can acquire okay so whether you lend something or you don't lend something it has to do with your attitude okay and Hashem knows and he knows he knows the depth of all the circumstances beyond the complexity that the human mind can't grasp or even though the courts of law can't account for the point being as Hashem knows uh the motive behind and I think uh you know you really clarified a bit today on not bearing a grudge and uh sometimes that can lead to bad toxic atmospheres and anybody who spent much time on social media often knows you know there's a lot of toxicity out there and I think uh today's lesson puts the soap to the matter right and cleans it up a little bit for sure I hope so oh Rabbi post and it's so good to be with you again thank you so much for sharing uh uh from the series tomor devorah with us it's beautiful beautiful stuff folks make sure you like the video out there share it on social media um you can always find uh uh uh Rabbi Poston on his website ibane.com or you can find his fresh material on his yibinet uh Facebook or YouTube page and uh I appreciate everything that he is doing in Jerusalem so it's beautiful beautiful stuff now Rabbi I know your schedule's fairly busy um hopefully uh we don't have to wait so long for part 11 uh but you'll get back to me on on when we'll we'll be aiming for that yeah it'll be in a few weeks bizarat Hashem I don't know if it's two or three but you know within the next few weeks for sure yeah I know how busy you're you're a busy man and so uh yeah we hope we wish you well and with safety and uh uh Comfort uh uh and continue simulation of the the acid that you show there in in Jerusalem you're a shining example and I hope that people would realize that uh uh we can also do this in our own communities uh I still haven't put out their uh second day message from the the the Noah Society of Canada conference uh that I did I ended up half due to a um a feed Loop audio feed loop I ended up in a private session uh with Rabbi Poston and he shared some depth of how he developed uh yibinae in the early days and and what it really takes and I want to get that out to you I just have to tweak the audio uh to make it functional and uh um it's so important to know that uh these principles that the rabbi is sharing are things that will impact your life things that will impact your community and uh make the world a better place and it's just exciting when when the light of Torres is shining out of the nation Israel like it it it should and uh I really like the lesson today explaining the difference between Jacob and Israel and uh uh you know we we gotta understand that our relationship with Hashem sometimes he deals very light-handed with us sometimes he'll deal heavy-handed when you know better right and you are or you want to know better big difference uh and so your conduct is important in this world and I like how you talked about you know bringing it down a little and how it kind of syncs it up and and makes it all function in the world here um yeah some beautiful stuff so is that it for today Rabbi that's it for now all right folks so we're gonna sign out of beyond the seven live from Jerusalem with Rabbi Aaron David Poston for today we will be back in a few weeks we'll let you know uh when part 11 is going live I so appreciate uh the time I get to spend with Rabbi Poston beautiful beautiful materials so till the next time have a wonderful wonderful week everybody [Music]