The Reward for Modesty: Where is your wife? Where is your husband? by Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] okay good evening everybody welcome to the Internet Beit Midrash and we welcome you home to Torah that's right home to Torah and I want to make a special dedication tonight that one learning should be in the not just memory but who uplift the soul or a dear friend of the yahud Ben Avraham Avinu he was a righteous convert and he came to my classes every day we learned for years and he was such a special soul and a joy to be around and he will surely be missed but we unfortunately went through having to say goodbye to him and now he's in another dimension so he's not gone but it's difficult to communicate with him and we pray for his soul and were we're happy to be dedicating these shirin in his in his memory and in his honor and we're going to deal with chapter 18 of Genesis verse 9 so interestingly enough this is going to I think send shivers down your spine when you realize that the all Torah is just beyond your imagination that God dictated every letter there's no letter that's four not and not only that there's gonna be three thoughts on one of the words we're dealing with and those three dots tell a story and therefore it's part of the text I understand there's gonna be a Gomorrah there's a metric and it's all Harley or Torah but it's in the text right every letter every dot has meaning and we start off with the idea that there were three angels and they came to visit Aram not on the day of the circumcision but three days later that when Hashem himself had appeared to Abram and our Rahab was so into charity he was a man of action that's what he was and he was sitting by the door of the tent of his the door of his tent waving and looking for an opportunity to help people now verse 9 says they said to him where is Sara your wife the home rule a love if you look in the Hebrew text and the Hebrew text it is a proper text would have a dot over the olive not the lawmen that's two dots have nothing to do it to the part of the trap and then a unit of love there's a dot over there so he yomu a lot they said to him hey Sara Ishta ha we're sorry your wife the young man and he responded he said he made bow oh hell she is in the tent what is all that teaching us so the first thing I have when the source sheet says in Boulder print that loggia should sinew Oh hiya Todd - what would form to inform what to inform us - from Avram that she was modest listen the man has been married to this moment for a long time ok so what's going on here he met he didn't know that she was modest looking though and the darker princess the Ministry of angels knew our mother Sara what she knew where she was she was in the tent but these people had x-ray vision they could see through the partitions if she was in the kitchen cooking they knew that's where she was they were angels of God Chris they knew and yet to ask where to son your wife it sounds like almost with God says to Adam the first man where are you what do you think that was saying we're gonna see where are you holding where are you at with your spiritual incline decline ascension right where are you at what Madre God I'm not sure a God remember that word where you act what step are you on so they asked we're okay so the ministering angels knew where she was but why did they ask I'm just reading Rashi in order to make know that she was modest why would they have to do that why would they have to make Mountain and Abraham that she was modest as it says in order to endear her to her husband what you think there was a problem that was showing bias he didn't hold his own wife in such high esteem I'll give you a hint there's a very good possibility he did it they lived together for many years but they didn't have children and a husband who lives many years with his wife and doesn't have children may think it's her fault especially if he was able to father a child by another woman that for sure you're right there's almost no doubt right in your mind so when they said where's your wife there breathe they're gonna bring into his mind like those he would think oh she's in the she's in the tent she's maybe she's modest she's hidden away she's not out on the streets and on the street corners not hanging out in the pubs not having hanging out the bars this is Sarah our mother she's modest and because of the modesty remember in Judaism we say deeds matter all deeds matter all right we should make a we're still talking about it we should actually do something about it we're gonna make it bumper-sticker superiors don't nobody has class it's not even sell them in America or France but all deeds matter what you do makes a difference so because of her modesty believe it or not I Ron would understand that she's such a righteous woman that's not the reason she's not having children there's a different reason we talked about this before for Sadiq and God can prevent the righteous with people from the getting somewhere sometimes in life because he wants us to pray what's that relationship that intimacy he squeezes so to speak that's empty cave the righteous people so that they cry out so they have a reason to speak to a Shem and God loves to hear their voice he's interested in that relationship that's my introduction but let's go back to the clear clock we use the clear car as the outline for our disk so he mentions Rashi laho deal to new iota kadai Lahav of up all bala in order that she would be endeared to her husband so the husband would have this endearing feeling towards her and of course the question that the clea car ass is a rhetorical question and what's the rhetorical question the chaotic shablow Yoda I'm sure doing well until now I romped had no idea that she was modest so he explains like this if you continue and look at the next verse the net verse 10 the Omer shuva shroob unless huh it actually says the angel says I'm going to return to you know does that mean he personally that angel know that God would send another angel and there was good news right the good tidings okay but nevertheless I'm gonna return to you and there's gonna be a son born in a year from now when I come back guess what it's masculine I'm gonna return to you so when he hears that I'm gonna return to you then for sure he would think I'm gonna have a son because amis coming back to me but maybe only me not necessarily my wife Sarah ah so they guess what about where's your wife Sarah it's gonna be her child and she is such a righteous woman it's gonna be because of her righteousness let's say in this case because of her modesty that should merit to have a child as well so let's go on he says nila far a surah to Lamar Shroomish shroom Aleph ha where the angel said I'm gonna read surely return to you it's Masha what is it infer the word Marshman means close to be heard it didn't first law Aloha to him but not necessarily to her so yeah Schlick huge maybe there is to be concerned that maybe on a count of Shem above or Z util Sinaloa maybe a brown would have some negative feelings about his own wife that you know he's she's not on the same moderator she's not on the same level or she's not capable of having children she hires a receiver that she would be the reason can you imagine a man thinking that would guess what Yaakov thought that about Rachel I didn't put this in the source sheet but looking Genesis chapter 30 verse 2 you know that Rachel saw that she had not borne children to Jacob so Rachel became envious of her sister there's natural jealousy right Tina so she said to Jacob give me children otherwise I am dead it's a very hard thing for us I can't imagine but I'll try for a woman living in a society with many the million children are born and she's childish it's very difficult so the verse time looking at says Jacob's anger flared up at Rachel and he said am i instead of God who is withheld from you fruit of the womb so this idea that perhaps yes when a man and a woman are married and there's no children it could be they blame each other right and there could be some negative feelings with us for the woman slider for the men side towards and we see that that can happen we see that it did happen from Yaakov and Rachel so as the words say he blow but he think he would hate her or have negative feelings because he felt that she was the cyma Simba means the reason a shaman AHA she may have pre bet which will Hashem has held back from the fruit of the womb alkane Ramallah Latakia that's why the the angels law this is appropriate action to say where's your wife wait to hear this where's your wife in order to bring this idea it's not her fault it was God's decree and things are gonna change so that he says hey Sarah each tatha where is sorry your wife I'm a PC or demolish it honey even though the angel knew exactly where she was the comic Omar nevertheless he's basically saying he ought Tom mother she Eber oh hell the Angels sang to Aram if you can myth you can acknowledge that she's in the tent Hameed constantly Muhammad she eats ánewá why is she constantly in the tent why she always to be found at home not on the streets because she is modest va Vavoom oh you kappa la kurdish bar who therefore with a bra would understand with absolute certainty that hashem would not withhold scarce and mata the reward for her modest behavior sure i'm rak'ahs ah now this is in Magilla this is a statement in the gomorrah Megillah page 10 side - it says any color any bride who is Senora czaka the Yates will be minimal locking that if that woman is modest there's no doubt with absolute certainty Kings will come forth from her and the Raya the come where it brings us from Tom our so let's go look at the number 2 on the source sheets because we're gonna be now dealing with the second part of this rock this good more as well it starts off by talking about and they said to him we're sorry alright and he said behold she's in the ten tolas we just read in chapter 18 verse 9 there's more explains this verse serves food form us that Sarah are for mother was a modest woman she remained inside while guests were present review Hooda says the Rob says and some set was review talked the ministering angels who visited Abram and the guise of travellers knew that Sarah are for mother was inside the tent so what was the purpose of a listening robbers response she is in the tent why did they they knew that's what he's gonna say that's why they said it in order to endear her and endear her to her husband by accentuated Sarah's modesty it's now this is a side point it's customary to recite grace after meals on a cup of wine which means when you have three people or more you take a cup of wine and you make a public blessing because we want to glorify Hashem and when the wife is present the the cup after the the person who blesses if it's the bow abideth so the husband he passes it to his wife make sure to pass the cup of wine to your own wife and that's what it says now this is where we're about to get into spooky stuff listen to what the rest of this Gomorrah says it's talking the name of Rubio see why are there three dots in the Torah scroll upon the letters The Aleph the yurt and the valve in the word a LOF so you see the word Aleph mama good luck hey love to him it says to him I a they said to him where she son where is she let's listen to this whenever you have letters and there's a majority of love dots on majority of the letters those letters are going to be dharshan they're going to be expounded upon so this is what it says these spells are worth a yo the words I love you love does not say it said they wick they said to him we're a she and all of a sudden becomes where is she it's like where is he they said to her and you're gonna see the letters there's gonna be a transition in these letters the urine and the hay they using the hair then switched from the word hayloft the year to stay it out and put in the other and then evolve it I'm sorry the the lavas moved over to the second word and the hay from the second word has moved into the first so it says they set up to her and let ha hi yo they set up to her where is he meaning simultaneously she understood the you know only you know God and angels can do this right they actually said this to her they're saying it to him the words themselves on a different level listen to this what is it teaching us the Torah is teaching us proper etiquette did you know when you go to someone's home you should ask the husband how his wife is doing yeah and when you see the wife you should ask the husband how he when you see the left asking how her husband's doing it's inappropriate to ask a woman how she's done the Gomorrah that says dozens will say one may not inquire enquire about the welfare of a woman at all isn't that in - ah when it comes to the spouse it's okay okay because it actually will help in endearing one towards the other right what do you think well people really think about my husband but people really think about my wife you know but they're asking me they're not thinking about it and doing it on their own so that's another very interesting concept now we go and we continue where we left off so we said about this Gomorrah that we have a proof from tomorrow the heat God needs to newett Tamar was very modest alkanes the hood to Gormley hood therefore it's if you look at chapter 17 verse 6 here it is number 6 on this sheet now we could go to the Gomorrah and Magilla 10b which we didn't do yet it says this is I will make you exceedingly fruitful and I will make you into nations and Kings will emerge from you so we're talking again about a Brahmin now the Gomorrah responses go back to the good mood the Megillah 10b this is number 5 it's an accordance with that which rips newborn Othmani said Ravi Anita said and did I read this no any bride who is modest in the house of her father-in-law merits the kings of prophets will emerge from her where do we know this room from Tamar right in Genesis 38 15 it says when you who - saw her he thought her to be a prostitute why 4 she covered her face he didn't even know this imagine is your own daughter-in-law living in your house married to your own two sons of different times and he didn't even know what she looked like because she covered her face that's how modest she was okay rather because she covered her face in the house of her father-in-law he was not familiar with her appearance yeah you who did not recognize tomorrow he thought she was a harlot and sought to have sexual relations with her ultimately she married tap kings and prophets to emerge from her kings emerged through David which was a descendant of Tamar parents there's no explicit mention that she was the forbear of prophets that you don't have to have why couldn't we have a pro a proof later on this is the rifle insurable a V said it's a matter of tradition the oral torah we received from our ancestors that the man by the name of our Mo's who's the father of Isaiah and amatzia who's king of Judah they were brothers so we have here in just verse 1 of chapter 1 of Isaiah that the vision of Isaiah who's the son of a Mose and Olmos and a amatzia were brothers so I'd say it's a prophet so knowledge do you have the whole dynasty the Davidic dynasty coming to Tamar but also you have prophets coming from Tamar as well from Judah from Dale why they say you have a verb Allah and through this being modest that her husband would be more endear towards her kiss hoot Sunita garma because it's the merit of her modesty which Clause the endearment okay so we're gonna continue the Kasab tell us in the meddra Sh it says that there are these three thoughts should include our I love you both so if there's a new code on the world a love on the three letters without the lammott what's that mean Letitia Shalu goblet lisara because you know what they asked him they didn't ask only Aram where is your life Sarah but the s-sarah where's your husband Rama IO IO is the same as yay ia is where she uh is where is he the door shade rational Tamron those who found the Torah metaphorically explained I want you to look at the words and I made a little bit of uh you can see this somewhere on the source sheets okay first of all if you look at the word a love where my fingers you have the dots there but over here now we're going to deal with these words see we're dealing with we just keep the detects I'll let how I am right so where it says a law I yet sorry so you have ia a love ia okay if you take the same letters you take the love and the hey and switch them in other words the last letter of a LOF and the last letter of I a and you switch the words it automatically spells Allah I up it automatically spells what we have the words to how they said they keep to her he said to her where is he and regarding this we have a question an absolute question ex Shalu lisara I know how could they possibly ask Sarah where is he why is that a very difficult aren't they standing right in front of him talking to him hello I brought my own middle lamb wasn't our I'm standing right there I'll can lead me oh man this is all part of the mesh which we don't have in front of us but he goes on he says the question she a lot ie a or a yo a - a Lima coma in the coming when they when would be the way you look at it when the angel said where is he who were where is she they weren't asking where they were physically they couldn't be because they were standing right in front of Aram and they are we already said they knew she was in the 10th because that they had this x-ray vision a though he Ethel who oh he they couldn't be asking where physically each one spouse was Elish a lot how madre goes they were asking think about what you're married you married like an angelic person you married a really righteous person your husband is in the 10th he's learning Torah or he's doing s it as well soon see well where is your wife she's modest in in the house she lush in Macomb the very language of place is Maya Oh Madre God is actually reflects a level of spiritual status the Lucia Alou club a is a mahkum who oh he the question was not where are they physically hello our Amukamara Guatemala Tom but where are they holding very similar to be mentioned in the introduction where was eight where was Adam where are you holding after you ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil the Indian my same a tow beam regarding their good actions these people like unbelievable what they did besides the working besides what the guests that they provided food for and the conference they made introducing them to the truth and getting them away from idol worship okay that was like tremendous teaching Torah what s it okay teaching them the truth so they wasted whole life learning answer vanities of vanities a ship ahora music Uche name Levin it was an account of both Sarah and have Rob such righteous deeds that they were merited children at least we're talking about Yitzhak and one word children Assad he's up Taliban she certainly married to have a child because of her modesty the hoos of Alabama schools at sadaqa about gnosis or Athena because of his righteousness of giving charity and helping the floor and the clear car continues ashamed she removes be state avos a loop we've already hit it just as we hint to these two words of a laugh ie a It was as if not only did they say to him where is she where's Sarah but they also said to her where is he Cockrum whose mistake table Salo each take was a llamar remember we have we switched the letters of the love and the hand those two words wait till you see this East a car van young man it was a nose at econo where is your wife and he said in the tent take the same thing take the tough of Easter huh and switch it with the urine vo man and you have the words a shame your husband and she said you're like freaking out right it's all part of shot that simultaneously as he as they're having a conversation with her you know angels can be in two places at one time they could be doing a million things at once that's the interesting thing about angels her Reiki lune if Tov it's as actually as if it's written via rule out and they said to her I yo ashay where is your husband karma the Toma and she responded he neighbor well he's in the tent Keegan he hey Shiva I'll Shayla malice Mojo Jojo she also responds he's in the tent why cuz that's his level he's at least the guy of the tent he neighbor oh hell right that was her response be hope he's in the tent he's a he muttered Auto Show Abram Lee a shape SF lol will it suppose I were working that mad modular God the level of he there are problems on was that he would sit by the entrance of the tent and look search anticipate with with maybe with binoculars looking for a forecast but Tommy whom is a cyclist no Tara AHA lay upon do lurking he was constantly involved with planting tents when his tent to tent is called a shelter he was helping people with their shelter with the right and listen to this if you go to chapter 21 verse 33 in Genesis it says he planted an S shell and a shows the type of tree but what do we know that olive shin LOM it stands for Yakov l'viyah so there's another opinion that's Lena but either way s shell is a is a tree this is he planted a tree when you take a tent you take these stakes I don't mean these juicy steaks we're taught about mistakes that you tie the poles the the string to do you put the to stabilize the pulse and you pitch a tent you basically planting the pegs into the ground it's the same word so it says that he planted a tree its Aleph is a health-food shim is shea ish Thea drink he provided food and drink and the selamat could be used for a lovely ah he escorted them it's very important when you have Jorge when you have guests of your house you welcome out your front door to their car you make sure their GPS is set to the next location where you can direct them you don't want them getting lost they should with confidence know where they're going very important so it's either means Lucia to escort them or Lena Lena means to provide shelter at night that's why a hotel is a mile of right the laws related to the word Lena hi knew pun doc food that means in in common that amar if you look in Daniel 31 verse 45 and when I feel like I'm just using this as a proof text okay the proof text is and he will pitch his palatial text in Hebrew the Gita I'll lay a partner so you know the word pitching a tent is and it's also related to a poon duck such as and in okay so that was just for textual support so the clea car ends this last paragraph in came shoot the shoemaker colas named Yaniv his claim is very strong that not only do you have what we're going to call shooter show McCraw but it includes on a certain level on the shot level and the simple reading of the text also the metric meaning when you look at any text and you say hmm what does that mean and you go to Rashi Rashi says this is shot that's his job he tells you shot guess what he's bringing a measures to help shot so how does the meddra shot the measure sounds like if they're expounding on some some crazy idea no that is the simple meaning according to Rashi I have to say least according to Rashi that is you understand the actual shot but he does divide it even though he says both these ideas he's about to say mark shot but then he divides it up in the most push up shot give shoot though this is how you read it on a simple level that they said to him where is Sarah your wife meaning what level of righteousness is she on because a ship Evora tisk on the bed because basically I'm asking the question because you realize it was a lot of accounts of her righteousness that should have a son the hey she and and and he answers back she's in the tent which tells you what it's in the merit of her being Salewa that show merit to bring forth Kings that's what the Jewish people are we're princes we're princesses we're kings were queens who meet Raja and on another level let's say the young ruler ha that they said to her i yo is sheikh where is your husband the tow man and she responded he made but oh hell behold he is in the tent because the questioning of RI yo meaning where is he again it's not a physical question where is he but what made you I go what level is he on then he's gonna merida been a son the met the level he's on is they she responds the Tomer he made oh hell he is in the tent he's in the tent should note at Tommy he's constantly planting tents only upon Dolores him so that he could provide shelter for the people who are going on the Wayfarers him in a rural scooted sadaqa it's on the account of righteousness of giving charity llamo low that he then gain the status the holy bed that's Avraham Avinu we come from a virile FEMA and and you know what and anyone who converts is the son or daughter of Sarah Avraham Avinu and they're closer to them than we ever could be and now looking I want you to look in Psalms chapter 17 verse 14 and 15 now this is the clear car brings this verse because in this I highlighted it it talks about children having enough not only having enough having leftovers the children will be plentiful and in the last part of the verse honey but said thick a hazard Piniella I will see you your face with righteousness no reading like this he says it's the beginning of the parsha it's because I need bit setec because I am giving charity because I Abraham well I a Israeli a Jew I am following the right the ways of righteousness giving sadaqa I will merit to have God appear to me I will be able to see and perceive a shed I will reach a level of prophecy yes whatever the ruler kodesh through my actions if I can behave properly modest and foolish abductor full of charity I will merit to see her she'll face to face and with that I wish you all shabbat shalom and they made the merit of this learning raised up a licata Yahud then Avram a Venus Saul and I made this pitch this towards the end of the year Hanukkah is coming up we and given as so many programs ok we have a PayPal account we have on our website you can pay by credit card you can make a donation we're asking if you enjoyed this content make a $5 at $10 $100,000 but ok I will never turn anything away and we wish you a superb life god bless [Music]