Thankyou G-d For Having Made Me According to Your Will with Rabbi Kalman Flaks

[music] You [singing] see your [music] [singing] tomorrow [music and singing] I Lo. Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. We'll sing at the end too. We have a very exciting shir today. Uh not not too controversial of a topic. We're just going to learn about the shalani isa and so nothing complex tonight. No, but so I have to be careful what I say tonight, but uh hopefully it will be fun and most importantly um will improve our kavana and deepen our understanding of the which we say every day hopefully and uh of course all of our Torah should be a protection for all of you know at every moment we need Yeshu we need we need protection even if we don't hear in the news or we do hear in the news But at the end of the day, you know, we need Hashem watching over for us. And the Torah should only bring Yeshua's for all of our Israel. >> Okay. So, I'm actually going to do this a little bit differently than sometimes it's done. We're going to start off with understanding the braha of and after we understand the meaning of we're going to go back and we're going to deepen our understanding of why men say shalomi isa. Okay. So we're going to do ladies first. [laughter] We're going to first understand their perspective and that will help us understand why men folk say sounds good. Okay. Interestingly enough, this is not found in Kazal. Okay. We don't actually know for sure what is the original source for when this braha came into existence. Uh apparently at some time in during the reinim era it could be the late gonim could mean we're talking 9th century 10th century 12th century we're not exactly sure at what point in Jewish history um women began to say this of but at a certain point in Jewish history this became the min that was accepted by most of to say that women should say this literally means that created me like your ratsum like your will. Okay. So it's an interesting example of a that came from the ground up so to speak. Now was it women who started saying it or maybe women men told the women to start saying that? I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. But we know that if we're not prophets, we're the children of prophets. Right? That's the Gor says. So if Israel began saying this, it must be that thou was a son of Hashem. It's interesting. There are a few brahas which came seemingly from the ground up. They were not instituted by. But we started doing it and then later we started saying a on that. Right. Maybe most famously what's one a braha which originally we didn't say a bra with god's name and then the minug it became the minog and then all took upon themselves anybody think of a braha like that soal roesh is a very interesting example where originally we didn't say halal then many ami started doing it that's why we only say half hollow And that's why Spartan you'll notice don't say they're a bit more nervous to start saying if it wasn't instituted by okay but us Ashkenazi folk say that's the minel accepted it and so we are going to uh say this with God's name. Okay. Um another thing Ashkenazi party difference is women you know saying various braot like let's say anal okay technically they're not obligated to say it on a love uh but nonetheless since started taking started taking upon themselves to say the bra so then that's the okay um and last week we discussed 10 of which is not mentioned in the Gumarra that's why many did not say it or didn't say it with God's name but nonetheless the standardized practice of Israel is can we do say the bra at least most people because that's what Israel took upon themselves okay and so to here since most of Israel took this upon themselves to most women in Israel and I think women are the majority of kal at least I think there's like 50 point something a little a slightly more women in the world than men so they are the majority of kal say this so we say this with that said it's interesting when you look in your notard but it's in parentheses And if you open up your standard art scroll Ashkenazi or your Ashkenazi, it just says no parenthesis. But when it comes to it's in parenthesis. Why is that? same principle writes you know even though in many sitters it's brought down to say it with God's name it's not in the it's not in the it was only mentioned in the we're afraid of saying God's name And then so says better not to say it with God's name. Okay. Also I noticed that in theirs it's only in parentheses. Okay. Maybe there are other customs that don't necessarily say it. I'm not sure. But us Ashkenazi folk and I think most of them say it with God's name because the tour brings down God's name. That's what the tour brings down. By the way, the tour very underrated pekk also coincidentally related to the balhatim. Same guy, same commentary. The tour is the forerunner. The whole is based on the seder of the tour. Okay. Who is the son of the rash? The bases himself one of his big big rabbis is a rush. And he writes this is a custom. So already in the tour it's mentioned to say the bra. Okay, so far so good. This is the minhug and this is accepted by the and everyone basically from the Torah on again at least in the Ashkenazi world. But the question is why? What is the meaning behind this this of? So the truth is if you look in the rishonim, if you look in the rash and you look in most many of the like the Abujahham and the lavush who discuss the meaning behind this they give the following explanation. I I already warn you you might not like this so much but this is what they say. Try to be honest here. They say the following the tour brings it down. They have the women basically it's like they're accepting the will of God. They're saying look it'd be better if I had a choice in the matter. You know I'd probably be the other gender. But since this is the ro of Hashem and Hashem wants me to be a female, this is the best thing. Hashem has a plan. We trust did as his will. He did his. Okay. What do we similar to? Imagine you have a guy a kid and he sees the Coen, he gets the first aliyah. Sees the Coen, he gets the, you know, lead benching. says, "Aba, I want to be a Cohen." So Aba says, "I hear you, but that's not your place. Hashem wants you to be a regular Israelite." So he says, "Okay, that I'm I wish I could be a Cohen, but I'm a regular Israelite. So I accept the Hashem. That's what's best for me. That's it." Okay. So that's let's say the simple explanation and the most traditional explanation as to the meaning of this brah. Okay, you might not like it but that's how it was understood by many. Okay, I'm going to say another explanation just for the sake of honesty that I I imagine they didn't necessarily teach in seminary but it's worth noting even if you don't agree with it. The brings from a cabalistic perspective that this has to do with the garden of Eden that back in the garden of Eden who was the original originator of the sin? It was the woman. And so the zuama, the filth went into the woman. It went also into the man. But the man cuts it out when he gets the ora cut off in the brisma. So the man doesn't have the zu the woman still has the zu and that's in the explanation of why the man says and the and the woman says you don't like it what can I do that's what the says okay take it or leave it some people like it some people not and he doesn't like these explanations classical explanations okay by the 1783 to 1841 amazing cabalistic rabbi explains all the holidays and he says I don't understand all the other we're thinking hem for good things I can see I have clothing so why would I can wake up why would kazal suddenly insert something that's not really that good but we're thanking anyway okay maybe it wasn't kazal but it doesn't it doesn't seem to fit Yeah. So rather we're going to bring three more positive optimistic understandings of why is it what's the real meaning behind Shastani. Okay. Two lesser well-known explanations that I thought were interesting. And then the third I'd say the more the classic explanation with the feel-good explanation that we'll we'll end with. Okay. And then we'll go back to the first explanation I saw brought down by the masapai uh in the safer which is a amazing safer I use often to gather uh explanations and he says that the truth is I also saw this in the in the Yeshua Jacob or Yakov Ornstein he says like this man when he was created was he good or was he not good let's Let's be honest, guys. Was he good or was he not good? He wasn't good. He was pretty good, but he was was one little problem. God created man, but he was alone. He was lonely. And God realizes it's not good for man to be alone. So God, he was pretty good, but he wasn't good enough because he didn't have a woman. So man was not created according to the rutson of Hashem. He wasn't created perfect. Women on the other hand, she was created. Did she need any fixing? [clears throat] No. She was made exactly on Hashem. She made exactly as Hashem wanted. Hashem wanted her to be created to be the mashlin the man. We didn't have to do any tikun. No fixing. So therefore we say the woman say because she is mish according to the ratson of hashem. No fixes. She's exactly the way that hashem wanted her to be. Okay. That's one very nice explanation. A similar related explanation I heard that originally God wanted to create according to the midash uh woman and man separately but then he created just man. Then he took the rib from man and created a woman but his makab was to create them separately. So therefore the original ratson of was that when it was like oh now I woman am created according to the original ex the original ratson of hashem. Okay, a creative explanation. A third explanation here. I've heard this by many rabbis. God says, "Let's make man." Let's make man. I thought God said he's going to create man. What's the plural language? Why does it say and we will create man? There a lot of explanations, right? Maybe we mankind creates together with Hashem or Tski's famous that we create God together. Humankind joins hand with Hashem. But the Midrash explanation is that God didn't create man alone. He wanted to consult with the angels. He wanted to teach us that whenever you have make a big decision, you should consult with others. Even if they're on a lower level than you should always smoo it out, right? I personally when before I make a big decision, I always smoo it out with my wife or else I regret it afterwards. Okay? So I I smoo it out. My wife is on a higher level than me, but I just need someone to smoo it out with. So she indulges me. Anyways, that means by man, God was like, I don't know. Should I create him? Should I not create him? Angel said, "No, don't create man. he's just going to create problems. And then Hashem decides, yeah, I'm going to create him anyway. Maybe something good's going to come out of this. But by woman, we don't see this whole back and forth. We just see Hashem says, "I'm going to I'm not asking anybody on this one. Man needs a helpmate. I'm creating woman." So therefore, she's again on Hashem. She's exactly in accordance with Hashem. He didn't need to deliberate with woman. He exactly went and that's another explanation, a second explanation as to why she is so far so good. Okay. And now we're gonna give the feel-good explanation which uh which is nice which is very nice and it it really starts with the gammor inos says the following the promise of hashem that he gave to women is greater than the promise he gave to the men. As it says in the you tranquil women arise and listen to my words. So based on this gam the maharal of Prague mud bal lived from 1520 to609 the chief rabbi of Prague also the cleakar who we love was the chief rabbi of Prague. [snorts] Um I think Cleakar took over for the Maral if I'm not mistaken. Anyways, he says the following that women naturally are shaan. They're more tranquil. Men are more jittery. They're more restless. They need uh their doers, right? Like Jews, you know, we always got to do something. Israelis, we got you can't be still. So women a little bit are more naturally have the ability to just chill. Us men folk can't do that. I remember this when I when I was dating to this day. I always wanted to walk and talk like that. My wife always wanted to sit down. [laughter] I want to move when I'm smoozing. She wants to just chill. Sometimes I always want to walk. I always want to move. So the is saying the nature of woman is more tranquil and from what I hear is more chill. This world we're more doing but the next world we're receiving. So women therefore are more naturally built for the next world. So then it's very it's easier for them to be to the next world according to the bra. Similarly the mar in one of his writes why did God first give the tora to the women and then to the men. We know the kar to the base the women and then he gave to Israel to the men. and you give the Torah first to the women because women are more naturally suited to accept Torah. That's their nature. They don't fight it as much. And I think I mentioned this before that that's been my experience too. Not all I'm generalizing here, but you know, you give a sheer every the men everyone wants to say their own two cents. Everyone wants to get in there. You know, nobody's we want to be active. Women sit there, they'll write their notes, they're happy, they don't need to get involved. Let the rabbi give the dr, you know, again, not always, but it's often like that. So, so women are more naturally spiritual, one could say. I don't know if that's exactly language with moral, but they're they're more built for the Haba and of Okay. Therefore based on this many many have explained and this is famously brought by Shiman Schwab on prayer which is like the most classic text of our generation and I'll I I'll say it the way he he brings it down. He says when a man okay why are we in the world? Why are we in the world? We are here according to according to to attach ourselves to like the charites. We're here to attach ourselves to God. That's why we're here in this world. The [clears throat] mitzvah are from a language of of connection. Okay? and there's many mitzvah but men need certain mitzvah that women don't need in order to feel that natural connection to a that's what explains based on this Maharal concept in other words takein a man who doesn't wear fillin he's sinning right he's a he's a stick of wood a kafta without fillin you're disconnected from Hashem you needs that fill in to connect himself to Hashem. A Jewish man, right? A man apparently needs to always be learning to connect to Hashem. And a woman apparently doesn't otherwise God would command them to always be learning Torah. Now, don't get me wrong, as we've explicated, they're in the midst of learning Torah, but they don't necessarily have to use every free moment to learn Torah. They have to know the sh to a man and to a woman which are many many and they have to know it cold right they have to know every of you know and dvening and shabas and etc etc it's a long list but once they know it let's say she knows it cold does she have to then do no in fact when Schwab says this and you could disagree, but this is what Schwab says. It doesn't even make her closer to Hashem to learn that extra Torah. She'll get for learning Torah, but she's already been to Hashem naturally. She doesn't need that Tory. [clears throat] Us men, we got to wake up. We got to go to minion. We got to say corbonos. We got to say pa mcus, you know. Then we got to learn with all of our free time and put on a shar when we're walking around. That's what we need. Women, they don't need it. They need the other mitzvah, but they don't need sites. They don't need to wear a kipa. Apparently, they're more naturally connected to Hashem. That's understanding. And thus you can understand they are they're in a higher level a higher spiritual level and that's what they mean when they say you understand okay make sense now I was thinking about this I've been thinking a lot about these whole week as I've been preparing and it seems like we have a little bit of a contradiction though because in a minute I'm to tell you how us men folk we say shalisha. So wait a second, what is it? Is it better to be a woman because they're on a higher spiritual level like we were just explaining or is it better to be a man? How do they both work together? Right? Like what's better? So I want to suggest like this based on Rashwab's understanding. You got two guys in the class, okay? In the Gumarra class. One guy, he's sharp. The Reb says it and in a minute he already understands the whole she doesn't need to do. He's got it. Okay. You got another guy. The Reb says it. It doesn't go in. He needs to do and write it down. Work hard again and again and again. So, who's better? Who's on a higher level? Who's luckier? Who should say thank you, Hashem? The sharp guy or the I don't want to come dumb guy, but you know, the less sharp guy. What's the truth? Both. They're both blessed in different ways. They both have to thank their blessing. Thank count their blessings. What do I mean? The sharp guy obviously has a lot to be thankful for because he capped that shear in one minute. He doesn't have to work so hard. So now he has more free time to devote to other learnings and and use all of his time to do other mitzvah, right? And he so he should be he's blessed obviously. But on the other hand, the guy who's going to get more scar at the end of the day for learning that gamarir, not the sharp guy. the guy who has to work hard because he is pushing himself and pushing and pushing himself and his the next world is gonna be times 10 and his connection to the Torah is going to be much stronger because he has to push himself harder to actually understand the shar. Yeah. So that's the mushall. What's the nim hope so who's the smart guy? The women, they get it, so to speak, spiritually. They're already naturally connected to Hashem. So, they don't need necessarily to go to the minion, wear the fillin, and learn with all their free time, irrelevant gar, but somehow it's good for them. They're [clears throat] already there. Now they're free to do other mitzvah or but on the other hand the man neb he has to work harder but he's going to get a lot of scar in the next world for all the mitzvah he's doing the extra mitzvah he's doing so each one is blessed each one is happy each one is in its own way each one blesses Hashem and thanks and thanks Hashem in their own way way get it take it or leave it that's my that's my way of uh actually I have to be I was kazering this was preparing this true my friend my student David and he gave me this way of looking at it so I thought I think it makes sense okay let's uh now go back to the us men folk okay so us men folk we're not lucky enough to say rather our tradition is to say the braha of shalom Asani is where does that come from? Before I tell you where it comes from, I just want to tell you a few quick gamaras to give us some kind of context. There are many many garamaras in Shas which reflect the great esteem, respect that we have for our holy Jewish women and and the way that we should treat them with the utmost respect. For example, our para the teaches us nigaloo only in the merit of the women were we redeemed from Egypt. It wasn't the men folk. It was the holy women. Right? By the way, it's also the not just the drasha. Who are the the people in who keep saving the Jewish people in our para? Miriam Yapua, right? And all the other women who went out of their way to bring their husbands to have children according to the midash, etc., etc. So saying it was the holy women's amuna that got us through our toughest times. The Gumarus 62nd page teaches us a man should love his wife and honor himself more than himself. The woman is considered the house. She's considered the real of the bias and maybe that's why she lights the shabas candles. I just read Gavald Misa about Raario Lavine how when he was driving home from his uh a taxi to his home in Mishkano right we visited it on our tour the cababi asked him where's your house but his wife had already passed away so he said he couldn't answer the question so the cabi said okay where do you live and he said I live in Michigan cuz after his wife passed away he felt like He didn't have a home. He would always say my wife is on a much higher level than me. Many many stories about that. Sadikus's holy wife. Okay. Anyways, the mats says you be very careful not to ever cause your wife to cry. This is a special offense that God teaches. A greater wisdom has been granted to women. Tinyus says a woman is closer to God than men. Ties very well with that Maharal we saw earlier. Okay. So there are many many sources. I just wanted to mention a few that that show what a high level kazal. Now, at the same time, maybe somewhere out out there in YouTube land might challenge me and say, "Yeah, but I could also find sources in Kazal or other sources which might reflect negatively um on the other gender. Maybe maybe you could find those things. Maybe they'll be taken out of context." Um again, we do always have to understand things being written before the modern era, you know. women women did weren't even able to vote in America until until until relatively recently. Um, so you know, the ancient world really was a very different world than what we're used to. You have to recognize that always. But the question I ask myself when I when I, you know, when I'm trying to analyze sources is how are they taught throughout the generations and how did the community that I live in of Juda Judaism practice in in terms of their relationship with with women. And at least my personal experience is that the vast majority of Jewish Orthodox men steeped in our Jewish traditions do treat women with respect, equal respect. Maybe even more, maybe they go out of their way to be more kind. And uh and I think that is not this in spite of a because of the traditions that are passed down by our rabbis and in our tradition. Of course, there will be exceptions to the rule. Of course, it will be insensitive men, etc. Um, but as a general rule, I I I I can only speak from my experience with other people and in my own personal the way I relate to women. I I I think the reason I relate to women certainly equally to men is because of my Jewish upbringing and my, you know, our sources and not not in spite of it certainly. So, in other words, you have to view things in their context. You know, just take politics for for for a moment. Yeah, you can find violent sources in any book. If you take the thousands of sources within any tradition, you can take things out of their context and find violent sources, you know, but there's if one group of people are predominantly violent and blowing themselves up all over the place. So then we might say their sources are having a bigger hashbah in the way they're being interpreted. That that's one situation versus, you know, another culture that isn't blowing themselves up all over the place. Okay. And uh so yeah, you could find a source in that but it doesn't it's not being translated practically. That's not how it's being given over practically speaking. And that's and that's very very important the context. Okay. Just wanted to give a kind of like introduction with that long- winded introduction. Let's get to the writes. A person needs to say 100 blessings a day. Okay. Got to get to 100. One day we'll get to that cheer. We have 18 of those blessings. The Rambam brings down. He tries to get exactly to 18 like paralleling the 15 plus three. And then the gumar goes on and says mayor used to say a man must bless three blessings every day. And these are them. He didn't make me a He didn't make me a woman and he didn't make me a fool. saw that his son was saying you didn't make me a fool says really you so sure that you can make this you're not a fool how you so confident you don't say we say shalani of it okay and that's the garra and ultimately this garra is translated into and brought down by the door and and all of is accepted to say these three blessings. Okay, we'll discuss next week please God about the gears to change we'll get we'll talk about all that but today we're just going to focus on shalom asi isa okay now it's fascinating that who is the author of this gamarra Mayor Rabby Mayor had a very famous wife okay who is Rabby Mayor's wife was a very smart woman. She's quoted in several sources. Being a a big Torah scholar, she knew a lot of Torah. She acted with a lot of wisdom. She corrects Rebeer, right? Remy Mayor prays to for the downfall of the wicked person. And Burya says, "No, you should only pray for the downfall of the wicked action." A fundamental teaching for us. Burya, you know, consoled mayor when they lost their children. She acted with wisdom. Puria is a a huge and despite that Bury Mayor says still thank God that I'm not a woman. Not because he didn't know how great of a person Bura was, but nonetheless, thank God that I'm not a woman. The question is why? What so great about being a man? What's he so happy about? You know, to wake up for chakras, [laughter] you know, drafted to the army. like what's so good about being a man? So the truth is we have to see how the traditional explanation of this was. If you look at okay the is explaining why and he says like this because women are not as many mitzvah there's a couple of mitzvah some of the time bound mitzvah that we've alluded to that women are not obligated to do. So essentially I'm thanking that I get to do more mitzvah than women. Similarly the writes because women are not commanded on the same amount of mitzvah as men. Similarly writes the tour as she's not in time mitzvah. So the traditional way of understanding this has always been it's not that I'm better than a woman. It's not that oh you know I'm it's easier for me in some other way. There's advantages socioeconomic advantage. No it's not about that. Maybe that's also true. But that's not what I'm essentially thanking for. I'm essentially thanking Hashem that I am obligated to do more mitzvah than a woman. And it makes perfect sense in the context. Why? becausey is has the least amount of mitzvah probably has more mitzvah but I'm still get to do more than him and Isa has even less mitzvah >> more I have more mitzvah but I as a man get to do more mitzvah okay so that's the traditional understanding of what the real meaning is this is brought down by the bach and this seems to be the real shot as So why what's what we're thanking Hashem for? Again, there may be some side benefits of being a a man. And sometimes when I go to a pit stop at the bathroom, you know, and I and you see the women's line, it's like to the end they have to wait, you know, 30 women and smash in, out, in, out. So you feel bad for the women. Yeah. You feel a bit, you know, but that's not the real traditional understanding of what this is about. It's about thanking Hashem for having more mitzvah. Okay. Now, I I read an interesting source from uh D'vorah Fast in her book, The Moon's Lost Light, and she says, "May men say the blessing for not having been created a woman because this is the aspect of truth which is seen by people. For most people, it's easier to be a man. The woman's role which entails exemption of or exclusion from certain mitzvah is therefore from our human view view less desirable. Although this is true in terms of the world, it does not reflect objective heavenly truth. For it does not show a person's true spiritual worth, but blessings are said in what is felt in this world and not on objective heavenly truth. So from our perspective, she her understanding is it's easier to be a man. Doesn't mean that in God's eyes it's better to be a man. Just means that that's what from our angle. Okay, that's another way of viewing it. With that said, when I I have to ask myself and this is going to come up again next week. So why not just phrase the the braha in the positive? This is probably the most controversial brahar in Judaism. Okay, this in we would have avoided a lot of problems. The man just could have said the woman is you know granted we wouldn't have had as interesting of a she right we wouldn't been able to falf but a lot of less people would have been insulted. So why not just say it? Why say it in the It's a good question. No, the question is generally asked about Shassani Israel. I didn't really see too many actually talk about this question, but I'll give you my my theory. First of all, our goal is to get to 100 blessings. If I just say Israel, which includes it being a g a man, then I get three less blessings. So, I want to get more blessings in there. That's one aspect. Second of all, I can't say ish I wasn't created in ish. I was created together or or yalled or zar. So you say okay so maybe you can phrase it in that language maybe but I think the truth is like this what's more poignant if you say thank god I can see or say thank god I'm not blind what hits your heart more for me is thank god I'm not blind because thinking about the alternative reality helps me understand how appreciative I That's why a lot of the brahas are phrased in the imagine the worst case scenario. You're in a bad mood. Just imagine it could be worse. You know, you wake up and you're a little cold, but imagine that rainy day when you were in it was cold and raining. Imagine when you were sick with corona. Imagine the worst situations in your life and then it brings you joy to think, "Oh, I'm not." So by phrasing in the negative, it actually makes it more poignant. So perhaps that's why they phrase it in the negative. And I guess Kazal at the time were not too concerned about the PC and what the what the naysayers are going to say. They just said it like it is. Okay. With that said, I have to be honest. There definitely have been people throughout Jewish history whose feelings have been hurt by this. It's brought down as safe aliat. I heard there was a from good married to a big that one time she went about she asked her husband this poor um foolish boar is more than me. You know this silly guy and then I he says he's better than me. That's what she felt. And this guy gots up for the shi he's better than me. The story about the I think the the uh someone related to either mother or daughter I forget. And she had a similar she was a huge a lot of these things of her exemption from mitzvah that hurt her feelings. Why why am I not able to do it and these silly men bums are able to do it. So her husband Tyal her husband made her feel better. But but we have to recognize that the truth is that some people will be insulted by this by this who was a a big rabbi chief rabbi in of Tel Aviv. We have to have in mind that she's just as important as I am. But the truth is she's not as obligated as many mitzvah as as a man again when we're having the we're not being that we're better than when we're having that we can do more mitzvah and when we and a mitzvah we get morear because we have to not do it. It's like when you tell a kid and a kid, he'll naturally clean up his room. But if you tell him to clean up his room, he won't want to clean up his room, right? So since we're to do it, we're not going to want to do it, but we're going to do it anyway. And so we're going to get more, but that's our not that we're better. Says a different shot. I heard Rabbi Foreman say the same sha by saying shalish isa we're saying I have an obligation because I was granted this privilege of being maybe stronger and so and economically more advantaged to protect the woman. It's it's a now because I'm recognizing every moment that I have the the privilege so to speak of being a man. So now I need to go out of my way to make sure that no one mistreats a woman. and you know someone doesn't give her a seat on the bus make sure you stick up for the woman etc etc. So it's a way of affirming our um towards the holy one at the end of the day we can't change the of we believe that once have been and it's been accepted by Israel we don't change it okay this is brought down throughout our tradition the writes These are established by the and it's not fitting to change them. You can't add and you can't take away. Let's be honest. He doesn't say it's but he says it's not fitting to change them. Anybody changes, he's mistaken. Once we start switching the in our generation, we know better than anyone else. And once we start changing thingsy willy, it's a slippery slope and the next thing people are going to say, yeah, this is not mim for us and this feel is not matim for us and shabas. That was for the olden days. But now we have a new version of shabas, a new version of resting, and everything can be tweaked. And the next thing, who knows? You know, you'll have mixed dancing at an intermarriage, a wedding. I don't know. The point is we don't change things around. That's not orthodox Judaism. We stick and we make it meaningful. We try to make it as powerful as possible, but we don't change things around. Similarly is brought by the interestingly if you did get the point across but you change the could be maybe it could be at the end of the day if I said it could be but it's certainly not certainly not fitting and um it's not proper Yehuda Henin who was a modern orthodox POK very very uh you know sensitive to the needs of women still he says we can't change the even unless it was an eightem a time to you know for some reason we needed we would only change if it was absolutely necessary and this would require wide consensus in all the whole spectrum from the most right wing to the most leftwing in the orthodox world and we simply don't have that. So even if you wanted to change the you can't change it. That's not how works. It's true. Some people will be unsalted. We have to try to explain to them our kavana is not to insult or to hurt but rather it's simply to affirm our pride in um having the mitzvah and then give them the whole about they're on a higher level. show me is okay with that said if you know some have brought down many many rabbis have brought down if you don't want to say it out loud you don't have to say it out loud you know in certain Ashkanazi shs you say every out loud but invar we don't say it out loud we start at hu so if you don't want it's not really part of So if you don't want to say all the out loud just start it all you do. Some modern orthodox shuls have taken this as a as their don't they don't start from the beginning because they don't want to insult any woman who happen to have gotten there early for and she's going to be insulted by um her us saying that out loud. On the other hand, others disagree and say if she doesn't like it, explain it to her. Give her the sheer, you know, have her understand that we're not trying to discriminate. But we don't change even any little minhug of even the Ashkanazi community. We don't change it. We don't change anything in our mas. We explain it the way that it's been understood all throughout the generations. Okay, one last thought and then if there's any questions or comments I want to just say one last idea when I was preparing this year it's the end of the end of batious and we have this very very interesting story of the great switcheroo when yahv is saying dad I see what you're trying to do you're trying to give the bra of Ephim before Manasha. And the Torah says this was evil. This was raising. Why was it so evil in Ysef's eyes that Yakov was going to switch the Bor? What was so bad about it? Tell me guys because if there's one lesson from safe or bracious don't favor one the older son the younger son over the older son it doesn't work. Okay. [clears throat] Go back to Ken and H. He gets favored over Cen. How did that work out? Not so great. Okay. [clears throat] We have the story of Yakov himself who was favored over Asa. Well, first Asa was favored and then YaKob, the younger one, stole the How did that work out? Not so great. A lot of anger and hatred. And then Yakob himself favors Ysef. And Yseph's like, "Dad, dad, we've been through this movie before." You know, it's not working out. Don't you remember the whole favoritism thing? There's one, we had to give one big lesson from don't show favoritism. And I have two kids, Alicia and Yity. We give them the same. Okay, I'm not giving Yity any extra equals. Okay, but what does Jacob respond? Jacob says he refuses to accept Ysef's suggestion. I know my son. I know. What does he know? He knows. He himself experienced the most bitter pain from his favoritism. From the favoritism he gave to Ysef the Pim. No one in the world knows the dangers of favoritism more than Yakov. Nonetheless, I still need to do this. I still I know that the this one Araim needs to be raised above Manasha. Why does he know that? I don't know. Rashi says because you know Yeshua is going to come from Ephraim. But in Israel, he understands that that the truth is it has to be on a higher level than Masha. And as my explained it, the Messiah's only going to come when the son who feels like he should be favored. He's he should be the bakur, but he's mistreated. He's unfavored. And what does he do? He's mabba. He takes it. He says, "If this is a rat in Hashem that I should not be the lead singer, but I should be the drummer, that's okay. As long as I have a role to play and this is what the rat of Hashem, so that's it. I accept my role." And ultimately, that's what happened with Mosha. Aon Aron had all the reason in the world to feel like he should have been the leader of the Jewish people. But Moshe, this no nobody comes to gets all the and says if that's of I'm happy. And this isn't only true for men and women. It's true of all of our lives. Very often in our lives, we're going to feel like the we're getting the short end of the deal. Like Hashem, it doesn't it's not fair. It's not fair. When we're able to macab it and say, "Hashem, if this is my role, I accept it. I'm happy. It's not going to easy, but I recognize that this is of ultimately we're bringing the gula much much closer. So we should be to see the Msiah very very soon and everything as of everyone. [applause] [singing] >> [applause] [singing] >> Lord, [singing] [singing] for sponsoring our beautiful sheer together. [music and singing] [music] Heat. Heat. [singing] [music] [singing] >> [music] [music]