Shaarei Teshuva 1:8-10 with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] welcome everyone welcome to the shari truva kabura then we use this safer specifically and um for those who have uh not heard the first i think four sessions i invite you suggest for you to go back and listen to the earlier sessions because we are now in paragraph nine but i want to go back i ran very fast through paragraph eight last week and i want to talk about a few things in paragraph eight because roth hashem will cut will cover all of nine and we'll begin we'll cover about half of paragraph 10 in the first char in the first gate so what we said in paragraph 8 was like this the robina yona lived a thousand years ago and he saw many uh transgressions in his generation and he's going to list some of them here some of them we may not relate to but i'll tell you the truth if we really think about it we're guilty of many of them plus many more beam they wrote there are many people that don't they're not careful they never accept it upon themselves nor are they careful to guard against well-known transgressions the whole you may have during the entire lives enum is hari baham they're not really careful in them during their entire lives but islam they actually act as if it's permissible and us when we go through the list you see that we also do we think that we're doing a mitzvah by speaking the shinhara by sinatrina by hating certain people that we would consider outside the realm of normalcy why why why why why you know kane now even if we didn't do the full list we just transgressed one particular mitzvah we transgressed a particular commandment this is considered like a spirit a spiritual illness a spiritual sickness as we have discussed i'll just tell you the truth like you can always narrow down the whole world to two things right there's jews and there's gaiu right there's jews and gentiles or there's you know people like just say you know it's a joke a lot of comedians you know break down the whole world into two things right it's very simple what did i want to do where did i want to go with that joke i'm not very good at telling jokes but basically uh i forgot where i'm okay let's continue it'll come back to me i think i'm getting to that age so even though they consider the noggin color hazardous raw boys which means like this oh i remember what i was saying that the truth is this whole world we think of it we should think of it as their spiritual and then there's the physical but the truth is that in judaism they're intertwined right there's other religions that it's just purely spiritual and then there's a hedonist or whatever you want to call them the hellenist or the you know the pagans or i think not maybe not pagans that's not the word but the people totally secular they they act as if there's no god right the truth is judaism is something that is totally meshed right we elevate the physical through the spiritual right there's as anybody who's practicing orthodox judaism would know this is so part of what we call our religion we work in this world we we're physically involved with the world we're not aesthetics is that the word uh that go on some mountain top and just meditate right and we're not just purely physical animals right we are a physical body there's no doubt but we're a spirit and that's what i wanted to say that's even though things are usually black and white but and and therefore yes the truth is that all there really is is a spiritual world and a physical world the spiritual world is the reality and the physical world is really the illusion that we're all living in okay i just want to get that off my chest now going back to the last statement we said that even if they would act this way with only one transgression meaning that they considered it permissible this would be a terrible sickness it's like we said now surely it is a serious spiritual sickness when they act this way he's talking to his generation with many of the torah prohibitions and then he lists a few for his generation and not only that many of them are from the most stringent now we don't look at it that way and we should we should really truthfully look at some of these things if we're spiritually in tune right if we're we consider ourselves spiritual people for example he gives kagon people swearing in vain whether you curse yourself or others this is shame with god's name every time we make a bracha we should stop and think about whatever it is whether it's the pleasure we're going to get that god gave us the ability to derive that pleasure and it's coming from him right or it's going to do we're going to do a mitzvah which means he's given us permission to come close to him that's what a commandment is it's an attachment it's an opportunity to cling to hashem that he gave us these mitzvahs that he chose us to do these mitzvahs and what an opportunity is and we're blessing him and praising him for that if you could just stop for a second because if you're just saying words from a blessing i consider that honestly mentioning god's name without a purpose you have to have some kevana some intent slow down slow down you have i mean i know you're thirsty you want to drink the water you just say the words and it becomes permissible to drink it without that god forbid but you have to i some guy in shul he says hashem el kin like in one breath it's almost like one syllable one syllable i it's like you're not even mentioning god's name and everyone's answering on maine like what's going on here slow down what's the rush what's the rush if i ever became a rabbi vashul we're to be called the happy minion and we're going to dance and sing and take our time anyway it's probably why i'm not the rabbi of a shoe okay but maybe one day or right now we're mentioning god's name without a purpose but we're also mentioning god's name in an unclean place or one hand when one's hands are not clean i'll tell you okay so for those watching this at any time in the future there's a thing called corona right so what they did was in the beginning they said you had to constantly wash your hands well guess what i said to people religious jew if you're a religious jew there's and without being ocd or odc or one of these alphabet soups we do wash our hands an awful lot at least i do i come home i wash my hands because i'm going to make broccolis i don't know what the last thing i touched the rallying who knows what um even if i'm in my house and i'm gonna make i'm gonna sit and what i'm gonna eat so i have to make sure i'm gonna sit down and learn tara i wash my hands i'm constantly i'm not saying i'm crazy about it i'm saying i probably wash my hands a bit 15 times during the day that's not overdoing it right get up in the morning i wash my hands before i leave for sure i wash my hands right every time you touch your shoes you touch part of your body that is normally covered you have to touch you have to wash your hands otherwise and okay i know this is a kabur for women but everybody should know this right we change the baby's diaper or even if the baby needs to be changed so you cannot make brachate you have to check it out okay so there are specific halakhas if the baby is still breastfeeding okay so then it's more lenient but because of the the the soa is not really um developed okay so you can check out these halals but you have to be careful check the uh the diapers make sure the bathroom door is closed if you're in a let's say sometimes the bathrooms off the kitchen or wherever it is or you're davening at home and there's a bathroom close the door right okay how often do we run away when there's an opportunity to get tobacco i mention this just give the person a smile apologize for not having enough money to help him but it's the heart it's from the heart of the heart there's more you can do by a smile by showing that you at least care and if you don't have the money obviously if you have money and you don't smile that true truth is it's pretty bad because they're not yeah maybe if they're really true anime they actually need more than money right they need they need a little bit of empathy or sympathy or some kind of way to lift them up so it's not just money so along with the money stop for a second make give them um it's not a pat on the back but give them a little bit of the uplifting uh a few words okay so that's up to you lush and hurrah gosh i this is like a whole book on its own we think that we're doing mitzvahs sometimes by speaking derogatory about people derogatorily about people we really need to learn and practice review the laws of russian hurrah sinatranam i think it's just maybe it's worse maybe it's worse than lashinara because russian horror involves you know probably speaking to other people but seeing we could be all by ourselves thinking the the worst thoughts about people we have to learn how to don lachaff to be judging people favorably not not everybody needs to be judged favorably mind you right sadiq people are known to be righteous we actually do have an obligation to judge them favorably people who are known to be evil you have not only no obligation to judge them favorably but to even judge them unfavorably but most people are not in that category i mean many of the people i know but those people who are like in between right you don't really know them well you don't know that much about why you have this negative feeling so that's something you need to work on um people who are let's say benoni that means they're not known to be extremely righteous or extremely uh unrighteous nevertheless it's it's proper to come out somehow come to your mind it's like you play games with your mind meaning you have to play with the gates you have to i'm saying you have to okay one should think of something positive about these people to think about and you don't know them so why are you coming to the conclusion already that they're worthy worthwhile being hated so that's something to work on and i thought about this one the governor laid okay which is obviously a a problem for all of us i have to admit um we have to work on that intimidating people i think now especially in today's atmosphere right if you don't vote like i do right or i think it's council cancel culture there's all kinds of ways of uh you know the people push their views so harshly if you want to educate somebody you have to learn how to educate i'm not saying i'm an expert trust me i have a lot to learn but what's the point of intimidating somebody because you want to get your way well maybe they also have issues right most likely they have just as many issues if not more than you do so i don't know exactly imitating it's really like pushing somebody against the wall right i mean you can just imagine even just emotionally people do it not physically they they just slam people you know and so we have to work on ourselves right what they say i think it's a dale carnegie i'm not sure if he mastered it but he probably made a lot of money off of it how to make friends and influence people so intimidating people i don't think is on his list maybe it's a last resort but we've talked about education does not involve or should not involve intimidating people his tackle i'm not sure how much of an issue this is for women okay but let's just assume you have male men in your family so you want to train your own your own daughters and you want to train yourself to uh to be to behave properly so that men will not gaze at arios of course we don't blame the victim okay there's no such thing however there is a concept in judaism of not placing a stumbling block before the blind so so even if it's um if it's not an issue for you per se one should and i took this up with somebody and they they really slam dumped me they really took it the wrong way and i spoke in third person i didn't speak to them directly whatever it was somebody who does not dress appropriately i feel and but they went all out on a war against people who are not wearing masks like these people are murderers they're going to hell i mean like whoa it was really heavy and so i spoke in a way that i wish the people who were so sensitive about other people were also sensitive about the way they dressed and you know if you're going to go outside because it's basically what they were saying when you go outside and you're not wearing a mask you're a murderer you're actually affecting other people so i thought this was a i thought maybe i'm right maybe i'm wrong i don't know i thought maybe there's a good way to address an additional problem but uh you know in terms of um fazal have told us the more we get away from harsinai 300 years ago the generations go down and down and they can't handle it so anyway um whoever's watching this don't take it personally but i hope you understand the comparison okay that if we're going to out in the streets and we're not going to wear a mask right there are people who have um immune systems that are compromised and we have to be careful at least sensitive to their phobias you know maybe we're not infected maybe we're a carrier okay but just like we have to be concerned this was the big deal we need to be concerned about other people so what about the way we dress okay so that for whoever that message is let that message be uh now this idea of neglecting torah study i did speak about a lot last week but i didn't mention a very important idea especially about women right we know that women do not have the same level of obligation that men do meaning that women are obligated to learn torah especially for those practical things they need to know and they don't need they may they don't need to involve themselves in all the theoretical and pleasurable learnings but they may what i think i failed to mention was how much the women can help their sons and their husbands push them out the door make sure that they have an hour a week two hours every night whatever it is everyone on their own level push them encourage them even if they're not the type that even retains the learning it doesn't matter it's so important for your husbands and your children especially to feel good about going and participating in a group learning or in a chavruta believe me torah is here equal to all the other um the other misses so neglecting torah study is equal to all the other transgressions so i think for women especially they may feel and they may be right they're very involved with other activities your husbands your children it's so important to build them up and encourage them to go okay and he ends by saying um he said that we wrote several of the mitzvahs or transgressions that the the um the his generation were lacks in las kiramu right to to remember them and to to be careful in them safer we've talked about how important it is to make a um i i ran into a friend and it was so sad listen the person is on medication and he is bipolar and he has all kinds of issues and he has shown bias issues and he he he told me in privacy that he he doesn't keep shabbat not because he's in the mu muller hockey it's not because he hates god because he's a mumula tayyip there's certain things he just feels he can't he's not strong enough to do to not do i don't know you know he asked me advice i i gave a few days and i think about it and i said again we're not on the generation we're not the generation that can give tokah i thought of all these things that would change his life you know what i said to him in the end do not even the negative only the positive think about how grateful you are make a gratitude list maybe maybe it'll make a change in his life and then we can go to the next step right baby steps so if this is too hard for you to make a journal of your sins of the things you've done wrong let's start i have to say you know maybe you have to start with a shorter list with a lower bar but whatever he is suggesting is ultimately where you should get to right it's proper for all people who repent bali truva to write their sins in a journal a listen to the prohibitive things in which they stumbled and the obligations in which they fell short okay so that's where we ended last week and i wanted to do that review because i felt that i missed some of this pertinent i think it's in important information so now we're on paragraph nine hine madrigal there are many levels a madre a dargah is a level right there's many levels of repentance every level gets you closer and closer to hashem now if you don't think that's important so we have other classes for you right this charity hopefully by this time you realize how important it is to be close to hashem to have a relationship a healthy relationship with the creator of the universe your personal your personal god you know judaism speaks in two ways like i always told you there's like two ways right first of all yes we do think in the national sphere right there's no question he took us out as a people but many people fail to realize because it's really emphasized much more in the other religions and maybe we shy away but we should not shy away from this idea of having a personal relationship with god so having these madre goats you talk about steps baby steps whatever they are they're steps nevertheless that will bring you closer and closer to hashem now he says however the amna the call to shuva tim it's true in every one of these levels of teshuva of repentance you will find an aspect of forgiveness is forgiveness so that's good right but he but the tohar shalem lyot avonos koloa but you don't reach through all these levels only towards the end or we're going to talk about how one can reach that level you may not necessarily feel or be completely purified to the extent that the as if the transgressions never took place right wouldn't that be sweet wouldn't that be nice right we think on yom kippur right that's what we're now starting with a clean slate halawa right that that's the way it should be but the truth is everyone every one of us is on a different level and not every level is going to get us there he's going to speak now about the heart right let's say we went through the motions and we did all the things that you're supposed to do we we're going to speak about it in depth but in depth but tonight we're actually going to only speak about regret but let's talk about truva in general he's going to talk about 20 steps remember i mentioned that in the beginning but here we all know there are three major acts or in processes and that's to have regret to forsake the sin meaning have the will and interest not to do it again and the third is called confession so if you did all those processes he's telling you now that's not enough okay it's like an introduction i got 20 20 sub points right so keep this in mind that's the major categories but what you really want to get to the point where as if you never sinned at all and the way to get there is the way i'm going to re you know read the go through the rest of the book and point them out but it's going to be based on what something to do with the heart it's going to be all about the heart okay at least regret okay because what is regret we have to define it we have to know we're talking about if that's the first step he's going to break it down into baby steps for us so after he mentions that the soul will not be completely purified to the extent that one's transgressions shall be considered as if they never existed except you know how you can do it you can become as if you never sinned when you purify your heart and you refine your spirit as we will explain so this is now the process it's about the heart right there's something about the regret i mentioned the last week that you probably have a nagging feeling you have you know everyone has a moral compass there's something that tells you you know we were taught the entire torah before we came out of our mother's womb now this is you know many mothers are probably listening what does that mean the womb is the same word is for mercy somehow another through our tradition because we don't have any witnesses god our soul was in cahoots it was cleaving was part of was our souls shooting from hashem himself so to speak so either eve is how i'd describe it either we are totally in tune resonating with the knowledge of hashem before the souls put into the body or as khazal described it that there's a candle a light that's inside the mother's room and there's an angel teaching the soul the entire torah but when you come out you are caused to forget it and your whole life is spent trying to recapture so what does it mean it means that deep inside you really know the truth deep inside you know the torah is true and everything so you have a moral compass when you do something wrong you should know hopefully i mean i think there's a lot of confused people out there there's a lot of bad educators there's a lot of abusive parents but i think that a child in the soul deepest recesses of the soul know the difference between right and wrong on a moralistic level okay so this is going to talk about purifying the heart so the first verse he brings down regarding this is written in psalms 32 verse 2. it says ashrae are dumb happy is now when it says man we're going to deal with this it's not it doesn't mean masculine man okay it means humans happy is the man hashem does not consider him a sin this is king david right he wanted to get to the point this is kind of like a um i will talk about his prayer later on in the next verse we're going to quote but praiseworthy is the man to whom hashem ascribes no iniquity right that's the level we want to get to and in whose spirit there is no remiyah deceit or fraud so basically it's going to come down to this the heart not wanting to sin that's the level we would like to get on so yes it's nice to have regret it's going to be nice to have um as we said forsaking the sin not willing to do it again but and also confession but something has to happen within the heart where we really don't want even uh we're going to talk about laundry when you do laundry so there's two parts of it right you want to scrape off some things the dirties on the outside but you also need to clean between the threads it needs to get in you know the the soap the bleach needs to get into the material itself so there's two parts just getting rid of the grime and that will happen when you regret and forsake and confess but what about getting into the threads into the to the woven part that's tightly knit that's the heart and we want to cleanse that as well as if we had never sinned so this is the first statement he makes um praiseworthy is the man to whom hashem does not describe sin for his in his spirit there is no deceit i'll read the comment here when there is no deceit in man's spirit means he has purified it through complete truva hashem does not ascribe sin to him and hashem will look at it as if he had never sinned and that's the level we want to be on okay so the next quote he brings let's go through it that's he's now bringing the analogy that i just gave you it's similar to a suit garment that needs to be laundered so the minimum level of cleansing the the garment yo-yo bow la javier go el mi meno it will help get the grime the the scum part off the the grind part off but to still there's a stain but the more you launder it the even that stain the original stain will then totally disappear i mean hopefully it depends who you who you take to do the laundry right there um if it's a good dry cleaner or not but anyway you get the idea and it's based on this idea that king david himself said in 51 this is psalms 51 4 and five he says this is a prayer so prayer is also going to be right that's avodah shabal it's going to involve the heart you want hashem to wash me thoroughly of my iniquities king david said the word herrev but it's really hair ba in other words the rit the cree and the xcv are different okay we're just going to read it as as we're supposed to read it much of the cleansing meaning thoroughly cleansed they'll cleanse me from my sin um from my iniquity from my sin purify me okay that's the main part of the passage it says for i know my transgressions and my sin is always before me the reason i brought this in because rashi says there when you think okay we're trying to get rid of the seems to say that i want to get rid of my sin as if it never were so what is the next verse doing there as if my sin is always before me this is king david's prayer what he's saying is according to rashi since i regret my sin and worry about it meaning where you'll never do it again it's as though it is constantly before me always but it's as if you never did it okay so going back to verse 4 wash me thoroughly of my iniquity and pure refining of my sin as if it never happened and then the next verse for i know my transgressions and my sin is always before me does not mean you'll always be attached to your sin but rather the opposite there will be no longer any stain whatsoever provided you do what you can to make sure you never sin again it's all part of the true process okay i'll read the comment on that this prayer was part of david's process of trueva for the incident involving bachelor the next uh verse he's going to bring is related to what we just said is this is going to be the most important verse or not verse yet statement you're going to hear tonight that a person's soul is cleansed of the effects of his sin to the extent that he cleanses his heart through true so you want to get that stain out that's the ultimate goal then you're going to have to do some things above votership a lay we call prayer but it's not limited to prayer it's working on your character this is why we were put into the world adam was put into the garden of eden to work the garden what kind of work what cake grew on trees collar grew on trees what kind of the fruit was luscious it was probably like uh what do they call that by the i'm not saying by the equator i know exactly what i'm talking about but they're temperate let's just say there was certain temperate there were no seasons it was everything was in season all the time okay so what kind of work work the garden you mean with the shovel no that didn't come into the shovel and the plow didn't come until noah god provided everything for adam even the clothes whatever that means everything okay before the sin after the sin of some type of clothes so the work of the heart that's what god wants us right to work on our character anyway so that is the next verse he brings in from jeremiah chapter 4 verse 14 which i want to just remind everybody when we take when we talk about the tanakh so the torah part that was the great revelation that took place that is direct god's word from mount sinai for all time the naveem the kusuthing if we behaved we never would have needed any of that they're there not just prophesy and to tell about the future that's secondary that's to give confirmation to who they are that we should listen to them but their main job description was to guide the people in the proper way and no navi came and told us anything that we weren't already told about before right nothing that our forefathers didn't know nothing about god or his ways that was new that cancels out the whole new testament of the christians that's just not appropriate okay we're talking about the prophets came to rebuke the people and to straighten them out and to rebuke them to guide them so when jeremiah comes and says 14 chapter 4 verse 14 cleanse your heart of evil o jerusalem in order that you may be saved hallelujah you want to be saved this is it cleanse your heart do it man this is what it's about okay uh here he has a very long comment the prophet demands that the people cleanse their hearts of the desire for sin okay so when it comes and you have a taiva you have to deal with it but the main work is cleansing learning torah right learning what to do correctly learning philosophy doing what we're doing now shari chuva right this is the way in which you will be actively attempting right it's like going to therapy right this is free therapy right to cleanse your heart to be right with god to be right with people then hashem will cleanse their souls of the effects of sin so if you work right if you first cleanse your heart hashem will cleanse your soul okay of the effects of sin rebellion explains below that it's necessary to pray one should pray that hashem cleanses one's salt just as king david did as we cited in the verse previously okay this is not the long note the next one will be longer and ribena yonah cites proof of more intense repentance gains a person favor before hashem so in gamora vodazara and this is very good this is a women's sheer because it says in psalms 112 verse 1 hallelujah ashrae praiseworthy is the man who fears the lord who greatly desires his commandments now it's interesting interesting that gamora actually asked the question what about women so in gamora voted zara in 19a the gomorrah cites this verse happy is the man that fears the lord that delights greatly in his mitzvas commandments thinking where yes is that to say happy is the man but not happy is the woman right how many times you read the word man man man and uh you wonder what about us so just know that that's not the case in most cases and here you're going to understand why so why was it necessary for the verse to emphasize it's speaking about man so ravram says that ralph says the name of rob that this verse actually applies to both men and women but it's teaching you this that happy is the one who repents while he is still a man now man is meaning representative of someone who has vigor and strength that's all it means that means before you become elderly and your strength dwindles right because you can just imagine right maybe you can't imagine but let's try to imagine right an 80 year old man who has no longer a sexual desire so let's say in his earlier life he had some sexual sins and it's only when he's 80 and he has no longer a sexual desire that he decides now is the time to work i'm going to repent guess what his repentance will be accepted but it's not the same it won't be the same madre god it won't be the same level of acceptance of his repentance or cleansing of his stain if he had repented 20 years 40 years 60 years earlier you follow my drift i thought of an example i'm not sure it works but assume somebody who has financial sins right sins of stealing or manipulation lying in in business so now he when he wins the lottery now he's sitting on a million shekels a million dollars a million rubles i don't know whatever whatever he's got so now he's going to take it easy and he's not going to get involved in any business and then he's going to have all the regret that he had for all his life of lying cheating and stealing it's not going to be the same right if he repents 20 years 30 years 50 years earlier when he's involved in making contracts in business this chuva that he would do when he's still involved with the taivas with the desires and the actions the circumstances would be much greater so i hope that was i if you guys come up with better examples i'm happy to hear them because i'm not a woman i don't have you know ideas but you might have some better ideas but basically so rob you should have been lay the ends and says happy is the one who triumphs over his inclination like a man meaning with vigor and strength and that is what it's referring to the example he gives i think this is the note i could be wrong yeah so the the the note here says if a person still has the desire to sin and he still has the opportunity yet he finds the inner strength to conquer his sahara he has achieved the highest form of truth on the other hand if a person repents when he's no longer able to sin his true is less perfect it's still accepted but it's not the most perfect true okay let's continue so after we read the verse into hillary one he says return alomar meaning to say odom that the greatest would be while the person is still young while he still has the strength while they still she whoever has the strength to conquer his inclination he doesn't want you to give up any hope he wants to let you know that every chuva will carry with its sleek on the beginning he says with forgiveness here he says that it has an effect every truva has an effect as it says and the proof he brings is from psalms chapter 90 verse 3. imagine what it means here by the crushing point you bring man to the crushing point david says you bring man to the crushing point to shave anosh and yet you still say god says return no sons of men the talmud so what does it mean to be at the point of crushing so he's going to basically say at the point of death when you when your mom is we can't even imagine right lying unless somebody you know once died and came back right but and there are people that did that right people have uh near-death experiences of what not they are changed okay hallelujah so this is like the crushing point that he's talking about where you are near death or you feel you have no energy left to go on um and yet god still says to repent so obviously repentance helps even at the end when you have no energy and you're not like a man meaning full of vigor god forbid i'm not talking about women being men but we use the the verse to describe what it means to be adam is to be full of uh strength and vigor okay and i'm looking for okay so then he goes on our sages have said the amir russians he describes the rabbis themselves said what does it mean to be crushed right because the verse said that in 93 90 verse 3 you reduce me until he's crushed it means until the crushing of the soul meaning the moment of death itself man is still encouraged to repent his note here says obviously at the moment of death a person lacks the energy and desire to sin i don't know what you're thinking about but you're probably not thinking about sin okay i imagine so he's incapable of the highest level of chuva since hashem encourages a person to repent in our verse chapter 90 verse 3 even at the crushing point you're encouraged to sin um to repent even at that time we see that every level of truth is effective it gains a person atonement so that he may be spared from punishment though it may not restore him to the ultimate level of closeness to hashem but it has an effect okay let's begin 10 i only have 10 more minutes because i told you i have a zoom party for one of my best friends turning 80 and um chapter uh not chapter 10 paragraph 10 autumn now nevaer ikere tuva now we are going to clarify the principle the principles of truva as i mentioned we talk about the three major principles regret forsaking the sin and confession this rat hashem in the next 10 minutes we'll talk about regret i told you we need to define what this is we talked about something to do with the heart no doubt so the first principle is kharata get that word down to have regret yavin basically you need to understand you need to contemplate you need to get this into your kishkis that it's very terrible and wrong it's bitter that you abandoned hashem because what you did remember the mitzvah it's so important to know this the root of the word mitzvah is to cling and to cleave and to unify god gave us 613 opportunities to come close to him and to that's what it means to connect so if we are violating it we're doing transgressions so we're going the opposite direction right we're putting barriers in our relationship so so the regret part of the regret is just knowing maybe it's intellectual at first but imagine this on your heart that you're moving further away if you're not fulfilling positive commands or you're even violating negative commands you're moving away in that relationship the yashiv el libo you should put it on your heart ownish the naked this is very hard in today's world to understand that god is a vengeful god and he will take retribution now we have to understand that too because anything he does is really going to be for our benefit okay so we'll have to talk about that but let's not go into the fluff stuff right you have to know that this is not good for your relationship it's not good for your own it's not good for your eternity indian shenandoah as it says in deuteronomy chapter 32 35 it says vengeance is poised with me and it will pay the time mine is vengeance and retribution says hashem okay so that's just the reality and then in job chapter 19 verse 29 fear the sword for the wrath of iniquities is the sword in order you shall know the plunder yeah it has to be real that this is something that has a repercussion on your life on your own right on your physical world and in your spiritual world okay so the hebrew for job is because the actual wrath of god over your sins is the sword the amass then once you come to this regret it's so important to have this regret by saying in his heart the yom theomar williebo what did i do just that whispering those words or screaming those words anything in between what did i do that's called regret right just like when you go before the basement and you want to uh nullify a vow right do you regret having made that vow of course you know if i knew if i only knew what i was going to get into by making that now i never would have made it so too if you only knew what you were doing to your spiritual self to your physical self to your own body return eternality you would definitely have regret right there was no question about it so this is what you say how come i didn't have the true fear or hashem in my own eyes why wasn't i afraid why was didn't i have this dread from the great and awesome rebuke about the sins about my own sin and from this terrible judgments that will happen to me kirabi makkavim this is based on a verse in psalms 32 10 but it's not word for word but some of the words are many are the pains of the wicked right how painful robbie mccoy russia how painful it will be listen we're not these bible thumpers going around and i have to tell you there are some very good um i call them preachers we call them you know rabbis who magi deem they they really instill a and i i have to tell you smarties are very good at this right but uh ashkenazim are like i don't know if this is a proper word wusses right we're we're so afraid we're going to lose our flock right that's another reason i'm probably not a a shoe rabbi right but i am i i'm a little bit on the on the on the wussy side right i like to talk about love and all that and bring people that way but you know what the smarties know how to do it they keep those people in line they talk about hell and brimstone and and they're the best tv and evangelist that we've got going on i can name a few but i won't they're quite controversial so we'll leave it at that for now but this is important you need to read these mooses sparring because if you're not going to hear it from your rabbis you're not going to hear from me that often right you gotta at least open up the book and know the reality and so you come to the proper regret okay so you have me on video saying it you know you meet me in person you won't hear that often because i'm this sweet fluffy marshmallow guy okay right by saying basically right i had no mercy on my body think about it because our bodies will suffer through what we call gehenna right now gehenna is really for the soul but we our body will be put into the ground eventually so there's a a an effect on our body for sin and my eye was not compassionate toward it right i didn't even pity the destructive forces that are going to come because of god's punishment so this is the regret not not having the knowledge or the the strength right not having the cognizance in front of your eyes right being aware the awareness so again learning torah is so important um all because of that pleasure for the moment that fleeting pleasure for one moment and you know i don't know if women can relate to this so i'm gonna tell you a man's side right that sometimes we have these desires in our in our mind and they can last for hours like they can last for 15 minutes they can last for a long time and then when we actually do the act it only lasts for a minute two minutes finished it's like what the yetzer hara can do is amazing so in truth we really should correct our thoughts that eternality is forever and that's where the real pleasure is and that false counterfeit pleasure that we experience through sin is really fleeting and momentarily moment moment it's only for the moment so he says i can i this is what we say to ourselves for that fleeting moment i can be compared to a man who robs and plunders and then he eats his fill of whatever he plunders and guess what happens the odayaki ahrae akhla the acura that after i've eaten all those pork sandwiches or those cheeseburgers or whatever those shrimp and lobster whatever it is i shouldn't have eaten right then what ya grace hashophate the khatsaats shaynav all the while knowing that after he's eaten and drunk the judge will grind his teeth on gravel stone right that this you're gonna have to pay for it you're gonna have to pay for it i'll just tell you real quickly i know this is a womenship many men are listening weinberg you know obviously you're not allowed to you're not allowed to travel in places that you know that the women are not dressed you don't go to the beach you don't go to certain places mix the swimming pools and whatnot but imagine for a second you just walk on a regular street and you see a woman she's not dressed properly so ravnic weinberg that's so used to saying the first glance is free glance not a look and then you have to turn your head after that if you turn back you have to pay for it so keep that in like whatever you try to apply this this idea right okay so indian as it says in michele that's proverbs chapter 20 verse 17 bread a falsehood is sweet to a man right you're eating those sweets like i i know i'm diabetic so i know what it's like but afterwards the man's math mouth will be filled with gravel okay the example rashi gives is adultery for example okay okay we're momish on the last i don't know how far we're gonna get we're not gonna we're not gonna get as far as i wanted but we'll end here okay let's um let let's let's end here okay so basically we didn't get as far in paragraph 10 as i wished but bizrat hashem usually we allow questions and whatnot and but i don't have time for that because i have to go to a zoom birthday party and um i'm just so happy to see some faces familiar faces on the zoom and we're back to zoom by the way we tried zoom it we weren't so successful then we went to skype i think we were less successful i'm not sure it doesn't matter we're trying zoom again we are going to be persistent we're not going to give up so we invite you look in the link below there is if you're interested we will send you know just send us a message on whatsapp and we will send you the link because we don't want any hackers we don't want any you know missionaries we don't want anybody messing with us we're a serious group of people and you're invited to join us so with that i sign off sayonara have a great life everyone be blessed and um continue to work on yourself all i can say is we're really on ver on page like 23 out of how many pages like 600 so you can join anytime it's never too late okay call two of all the best [Music] is [Music]