Rav Gav Extending the Joy of Purim

okay who came because of the title as I suspected good exactly as long as they're not calling me something else all right how are you kind say all right then let's get cracking so to me this was an awesome line I I mean many of you probably have heard this before but you know a lot of times you can go through many years of reading things being involved being around and just it slips by I didn't hear it before I never heard this until I heard it now I heard it I want to share with you and that's a good old Benjamin Franklin what am I going to say give me a Benjamin Franklin Line Benjamin Franklin oh and he got nailed okay talking it works okay he's also the first cardiac patient okay that would be if you fail to plan you plan to fail awesome what a statement if you fail to plan then you plan to to fail what what does it have to do with anything to do with the title and again you probably don't remember what the title is so we're good but I'm going to remind some of you this is something to do with Sim we're still in ad right we're still rocking it this is a lot of days of Adar and we know that the says about that just [Applause] like just like when the month of comes in we decrease our level of Joy so too in the month of AD comes in we increase our level of Joy I just messed myself over I shouldn't have said that and I should have asked you but even with that introduction I'm still going to ask you and let's see if you get nailed anyway all right so the question is what are the feelings one is supposed to have during the month of tavas that's one answer I'm going to share another one with you but I'm glad you're all you know interacting it's beautiful okay let let's say differently what are the feelings one is supposed to have during the month of a what's that sad despair Reaper than okay good this leads into our next topic thank you have okay okay what's this is more accurate good the of the gar is the terminology of the tud is that just like when one enters the month of they are they decrease their level of Joy so too when you enter the month of AD you increase your level of Joy however one always needs to be in a state of Joy there's just a decreased level and an increased level for more on that look at the five levels of pleasure on website okay but but uh before you actually see that and we'll see this one tonight that's the idea of where we really always have to be in Joy a person's always supposed to be in a state of Joy always supposed to be living in a state of Joy a state of Happiness a state of uh of eltion whichever word you want to come up with him right but really the ultimate question is the question is how does one do such a thing how does one live in a state of of constant Joy again a little more a little less how does one do such a thing someone once asked me a personal question asked me he said how are you always how are you always happy I said first of all you don't know me second of all none of your business third of all what do you mean how am I always happy how are you not always happy right what does that mean how am I not always happy well how are you not always happy so the reason why someone wouldn't be happy is what why wouldn't the person be happy come on give me some reasons what financial problems financial problems good U horrible an example which is correct a correct example no troubl troubles a lot of Tres what was the word you said troubl trou oh troubl lot of troubles okay a lot of troubles people's lives yeah what else romantic romantic problems we're not going to get too personal with that one but we're going to move on yeah okay so why would a person well then how can then how how does a person so now we understand why a person would not be happy now why would a person be happy to focus on the good health what health rute and health nice okay what else you focus on the good things you have in life yeah and only to look what you have yeah okay I want to share with you something and I you know I don't know this neighborhood so I don't know what goes on in this place and you probably will misunderstand I me you might want to edit this part that's up to you but essentially pardon me hear me out on this or don't whatever you want you some of you can be like great and leave when I say this but we're going to try it anyway and with that introduction I should I'll share with you what I was thinking up until now and here we go open quote of myself essentially you brought up a very crucial point about the concept of being happy with what you have right this is like the Mish says in I have an uncle that said interestingly that is an acronym stands for for for for if you look at the fact that you have eyes and you have teeth and you have hands and you have feet you don't need a stomach but if you look at all these things yeah then what Happ don't wore then what happens then you'll be okay well it's focusing on a con of what you have this is where I want to share with you something which I would this would be totally legal in Colorado Washington and other areas but here might be problematic you got to smoke your own stuff this is like it's got to be homegrown you got to smoke your own stuff oh very good yeah so what do I mean you got to smoke your own stuff so some of you I get it I always have some it's awesome I'll see you right gotta go St what I mean by that is we know we've heard the expression the grass is always greener on the other side what did you think it meant what did you what did you think it meant right so what what it means is essentially and it really is a double anandra going on over here there's a lot happening a lot happening here that what does it mean when we say that the Grass Is Always Green on the other side essentially what we're saying is is you look at someone else's grass and you say it's Greener but you have to realize your stuff is the purest stuff it's the cleanest purest stuff it's it's going to get you the highest you're going to get to the highest of the high if we would just roll up and smoke our own that's what it comes down you got to smoke your own and that is focusing on what you have really ultimately we have the most incredible there's a a br which you say every day let me rephrase it there's a br that is meant to be said every day I don't know you I'm not judging right but the BR I'm not going to judge you faor either but the the is that we thank the Lord thank you for giv G me everything that I need thear says it's talking about shoes right talking about shoes but it can also be extended to you g me everything I need thank you Lord for giving me everything that I need you've given me all my needs so one time when there was a a rabbi who made this blessing quite poor poer and one of his students came to one of his disciples others would say dises and he said you know uh Rabbi what are you saying you don't have anything he goes well that must be col sari that must be everything I need so many times we think what we need is if I were to just have and if I were to just have oh and they have and they have putting aside the fact that you don't know their pea you understand putting that aside that you want that okay you know you want it we'll give it to you you want it we'll give it to you we'll give it all to you just no you want it's a package deal and it looks really nice and sweet because that's all you're focusing on but if you take a step back and look at all the other issues that are going along with that and you say like maybe I don't want that so much concept of focus that's true so what could cause a person not to be happy you see now we're flipping a little I started by asking what will cause a person to be not happy and we had very clear examples lack of Health money romantic issues troubles or whatever they are what will cause you to be happy then we start getting like Torah and esoteric right it's no longer real it becomes this fake thing when we're dealing with our issues I'll tell you all my issues okay that's what makes me not happy now what makes you happy well I think the Torah said has an idea of focusing on good things but nobody actually told me something specific about the brute that's good health but other than that what do we got give me examples if you want to get esoteric and you want to talk about the concept of well it'll make you happy when you focus on what you have then what makes you not happy when you're focus on what you don't have everybody get it that's what it comes down to that's it when you're focusing on what you don't have everything in life comes down to one word it's in Spanish it's in it's known as Focus everything comes down to your focus mind over matter in a serious way I'll share with you an amazing exercise amazing exercise which is not really relevant to this class but it is but it is okay the exercise is like this yeah thank you forgive me Father FR so I want to share I want to share with you just this now I'll tell you it didn't work on me this exercise when I first heard this one it didn't work now it goes like this yeah whoa thought you say water anyway so so listen yeah exactly yeah okay good old wine anyway so so basically here's the here's the uh the example I happen to have seen this on a video made by a rabbi in Washington DC is name is Rabbi bars Rabbi Steven bars I don't know who that is and if you don't know who it is I still saw it from him now when I saw it I didn't like the video but then when I thought it through I loved it I'll share with you okay let's try to think for a moment think for a moment about something that you want something that you want that you don't have that you want and that you're actually trying for you're working towards You're Building you're investing you're trying to get it could be a spouse it could be Financial it could be Health it could be whatever fill in the blank think of something that you want do you have it you don't have to tell us it do you have it now you can just make it up sure I have it right yeah you have it okay do you have something there something that you want do you have something no I don't do you have in your mind something that you would want yeah okay you got something that you would want you have something that you want yeah now I want you to think it through for a moment okay you have something that you want you don't have to tell me what it is imagine I were to tell you that now I was specific I want to make this clear just so we we get all past all the issues I was like well it doesn't work because we'll get rid of that yeah what I mean is be clear you've been working towards it not like a sudden shock like you know you don't have money and you win the lottery right that that's not going to be something good obviously and that's not something you're working towards I'm saying something which is clearly good or right or you should be involved with or that you should be getting or that you should ET at Le according to your understanding and you're working towards it and you just haven't yet attained it and it's challenging and it's difficult and you really want it now I want you to imagine I tell you in one week you're going to get it how do you feel about you're going to get it in a week I'm telling you right now you're getting it in a week okay how do you feel about that right now nothing don't get so intelligent than me I'm asking you a question you're rele I'm asking you a question is there anything that you want that you really want and I tell you you get the phone call you're getting it next week you're like okay thank you good no oh okay good good now this is a is sha guy yeah where you going with this guy I'm my fall for your games you remind me if I took a course here in Mada my game d for uh I don't know what they're it's called even it's a 88 hour course right to become an EMT not it's right Bel anyway so so I took a course it was a bunch of Yesa guys so because you know the schedule that they normally had just didn't work out with the Yeshiva schedule so there were like 30 guys they're all in Yeshiva and they all joined it was a four-month course and we went and we join this course and and at the end of the course he take his test it's multiple choice and the instructor said listen there's no trick questions here it's very clear if you know the information you're you're going to know it no questions begin within 12 seconds what in the first one when it says the guy is having a heartache do you mean that he's having a heart attack in this way or do like what are you talking about like it's just just a heart attack right second question was like so you're talking about ventricular fibrillation do you mean that the he's like I don't know what I mean and he like walked out of the room I couldn't handle but guys trying to like outdo the guy right that's how it works in gumar you go back and forth back and forth how would you feel if I told you you're going to get it are you to say tomorrow but I stopped that because then I found because of the women in the room the reason that is because a lot of the women I don't know people's status here in life but if someone's not married so if it's a man who wants to get married and I say imagine you going have tomorrow be like great let getting married tomorrow if it's a woman tomorrow I'm not ready you know I'm say I have to get a dress that's lose weight I have to diet for a couple of days and then get a dress after I dieet it doesn't fit anymore and then it does fit and I eat too much and it gets out again what am I going to do right fine in two weeks right that's why I said yeah instead so you can just change it to whatever you're used to so if I tell you you're going to get it tomorrow how would you feel how would you feel how would you feel oh you know what I'm talking about welcome how would you feel a funeral okay so the answer is the answer is we're not talking about marriage for you specifically right talking okay so so the answer is even though he tried to knock me out even though he tried we still got through that and that's what that you would feel better than you do right now and probably great but how come as this pointed out so AB nothing changed you haven't gotten it yet what changed your state of mind that's it think is of gift there said I think is could have been I'm sorry I'm not quoting correct think of they said that everyone is looking for the country of Happiness little do they know that it's a state of mind was it rev gifter yeah I think right little looking for the country of Happiness it's a state of mind you want to be [Music] happy then what happens just decide just make a choice be happy I sure that's that easy yeah it's that easy uh yeah it's that easy yeah it's pretty that that is pretty much the case yeah it's about Focus it's a choice you got to be happy no matter what's going on in life there's going to be challenges the reality there going to be challenges but when you go ahead okay question is how does a person do it how does a person get to a point where they actually able to live with it how are you able to actually Infuse into lives that we could live with it so we're all at a time but thank you all for coming what's that it's not coming for a click okay so how do you do it so how do you do it how how so I'm going to share with you an idea so this it's actually it's brought that in Jewish law believer or not it's brought down in brings down C well c b comes as the following idea I think this maybe it's coming from kiter I quot it okay but it says like this I'll read it to you a little bit the very famous just like a person makes a blessing on good they make a blessing on not good or as many people translate as ra just like with good you make bad now the go happens to say what are you talking about just like not true when good things happen we say one thing when not good things happen we say something else what do we say when something not good happens you hear terrible news what do we say right blessed is a truthful judge the most extreme of that is a person God forbid hears about somebody passing away so somebody passes away the first thing a Jew says the first thing a Jew says is O after that they say right blessed is a truthful judge what happens if something good happens like you you make a on a bottle of wine and someone brings out a nicer bottle of wine right and then you make a right what what do you make blessed is one who is good and bestows goodness so what does the gar mean when it says just like you make a blessing for the not good you make a blessing for the good let me do the footp thing just like you do it for the good you do it for the not good it's not the same thing it's different so what's it just like give me a word feeling give me a word give it give me a word rhymes with Sim Sim is correct right and that's what just like we make a blessing on good what do we do it with when good things happen what do we say like yes I get the job yes she said yes again yes whatever it may be right and we say what happens if God forbid something bad happens I'm not saying to go yes because smiling is not necessarily Sim don't confuse a smile with joy a lot of depressed people out there that smile I heard a beautiful idea from Rabbi Dove break I believe is his name is that somebody then he says the following I I told it to me in his name he said the following he said that somebody asked him once you know why is it that we're trying to like get people that are secular to get involved in religious Judaism like what like what is it about like you know they look happy you could have it's funny because maybe there was a time I don't know maybe there was a time I just know my I just don't know my generation now is that I hear about the concept of in particular I teach in one of the places I teach is a and nober blessed memory very big on the concept of speaking about you want to be happy in life you want pleasure you want to enjoy you want to whatever and and people were searching at least I'm told I don't know people were searching and they come to you know travel through the countries and you know the backpack and the long hair the whole thing right and they come they be looking for they be looking for some sort of whatever and you didn't really have to convince somebody that they want happiness because everybody was like yeah I do want happiness I'm searching for something nowadays in my experience it seems perhaps that people aren't searching as much maybe because it except for on Google right but they're not they're not searching as much right there just just there not we're too busy searching for search you understand so what I need to do is I need to show them they're not happy and then show them how to be happy you say it's a d it's double work now I got to show how you really you're not happy and then show how you're happy but what am I talking about aren the people that are happy so this is what somebody asked the rabbi people are happy look at secular people they're happy people why are you trying to mess up their lives why you trying to give them meaning so he said did you ever see a kid when you tickle a kid when you tickle somebody how do they look how do they look how do they look right they look full of joy don't they what are they yelling stop but they're smiling it means they really like it it's say no that's just a reaction they really don't like it so they say stop because actually tickling comes from Pain a person can't feel pain they can't feel tickling either and that's why you can't tickle yourself because you can't really give yourself pain I know people that can okay but I get it I understand we're not getting that's another discussion with other medic professionals yeah point is that that generally you understand the concept that that a person isn't able to do certain things so whatever you can't generally can't tickle yourself no I do remember once my six-year-old when my six-year-old was about two and a half years old I have a video of this I think he started laughing he was cracking up in the back of the car I think we were in California sitting in the back of the car laughing his head off I'm like what are you laughing at turned around he was tickling himself I like what are you doing and he was like full on like crying he was like stop he's thinking himself okay so generally it doesn't happen but all right see I okay he's he's he's amazing anyway so the idea is that when how so happy don't confuse smiling with happiness doesn't mean you're happy because you're smiling there was a stimulus right that caused a person to go and smile so understand when a person God forbid go through some sort of pain doesn't mean they can't be happy doesn't mean they can't be happy it does mean you don't go yay they died let's make a bar cake right you don't do that you understand that's messed up but understand that we still have to do with the same understanding and F the focus and recognition that really everything but everything hasm does is good G I would have Saida but for you oh you know it after all these years I got to do something for you all right so it says like this say okay it's going off the here this is amazing you know [Music] says so what does he say amazing idea it's a focus is talking about the fact if you look in that to he going through pain I think it's he going through pain hard stuff he says but I certain with your I know you're gonna get me out of this I know it's good I know everything's right so I'm able to sing right now in the rain I tell you it's it's amazing if you see the way we're raised has such an impact in the way that we think obviously right our environment and the people we're with when we go outside and it's raining my kids instinctively I just remember particular my son most recently said to me I was like oh it's raining he said right because we brainwash educated him young right how do you look at things everything is good and my daughter just said my two and half she's four now my four-year-old she was two and a half once she said she said something like oh no my toy almost broke but it's okay cuz even if it would have broke it would be good cuz everything is good you know it's like it's amazing and then when something actually broke she's crying I'm like I thought it's good because it is but I want it not broken right so it's like how how are we taught to look at life and if we could learn something then we could learn another way and it all comes down to a choice if a person wants or it don't want it that's what it comes down to a person goes ahead you make a choice of how to do it now it goes down brought down what does a person need to do this is where it comes that a person should accustom themselves to say G this two is for the best get into a mode where you're practicing and getting into a mode where we say this too is for the best now when do you do that when do you do that now I want to share with you a story which is unfortunate it's not really a whole story but I was teaching somewhere once somewhere around the world and there I was and this woman came to me after this class was about faith and trust is Loosely translated and so someone came over to me after and said okay great class great class You Gotta Have auna You Gotta Be Tak very good very good you gotta Faith gotta trust you gotta have faith right and Trust okay got it I got a question for you what are you going to tell my sister whose husband just got diagnosed with that unfortunate terrible illness the doctor seem to to say that he doesn't really look like he stands so much of a chance what are you going to say to her have faith trust what are you going to say to her so I said first of all not going to say anything to her what can I say to her I could only say to you and even to you is going to be a little bit difficult because although although it's not your particular spouse it's only your brother your brother-in-law brother-in-law like my father-in-law was once introducing me to someone he goes this is my son-in-law I love him like a sonin-law I said thanks dad-in-law right but even though he's he's not he's close enough that it's hard but it's far enough away that I can still say something to you the answer is to say to a person who's in the midst of pain and going through tragedy and suffering and you know experiencing uh things that don't seem to be so good there's nothing to say to a person that's going through that nothing to say but what I could say to you who's not there is I could say the following we need to train ourselves we need to train ourselves we need to go through what's it called when you start in the Army it's called um boot yeah boot camp another one something training basic basic training right basic training in boot camp right in order to be able to to get up the part to be able to deal with things you don't just throw a soldier right into battle right you first put them through basic training basic training can be quite scary basic training I mean if you're really messing with it they say Marines excuse me for the graphic nature of this content but Marines the first time that they go to battle is very common that they will go out wearing certain garments underneath their garments to make sure that they protect themselves it depends on what they're going through but you get my point right in other words they wear diapers Marines talking about big tough guys going out like the tattoos and the things and the blanks and all that and they'll still go out and they'll go why with a DI because you're scar that's scary and you have sometimes simulate that right order to to get used to it if something's going to happen train yourself to be able to deal with circumstances just like the body isn't able to handle stress unless you work it through I mean physical stress something's pushing on you you need to push off besides adrenaline right to push off something unless a person is able to go ahead and train their body same thing with the mind got to train your mind have you train your mind the ran talks about it right in the beginning of raan essentially getting into a habit when a person gets into a habit to doing something over and over and over again it becomes part of them when it becomes a part of them it's a second nature it's a second nature I saw an amazing idea once saying that um they were finding that there was a an elite unit I can't remember where this was or what this was I just remember basically there was an elite unit that was training and it it turns out that none of the people were able to finish the training because the last part of the training was that they would this is like some sort of Navy SEALs thing the last part of the training is is that they would throw you off your boat into the water and the dark and the whatever and then the trainers would come at you when you're not ready for it they would grab your water your oxygen and pull your oxygen app and you had to be able to stay underwater and still fulfill your task or your mission that what you have to do and no one was able to succeed everyone was failing they didn't know what to do so they brought in you know a psychologist to come and see and take a look and see and they started training them they started having them Envision and imagine what they're going to go through try to imagine what you're going to go through because the mind can't make a distinction between reality and fantasy you can't make a distinction between it the mind will live it if you're thinking something you will have physical reactions to that think about something sad I mean how many people do this y own Kipper you know you should be crying but you're not so you do that association thing you think about somebody who died you're like yipper right and then you just start pretending like it's because I care how much I sin you know associative so what we do is again because our minds can't make a distinction between what's really happening and what's not really happening so so if you're able to go ahead and get yourself in a place where it's happening I.E you're going to get it next week or tomorrow you just put yourself in that place you didn't even get it it doesn't matter because you think you're going to so therefore it's as if already even without even having it fascinating so they started training the soldiers to imagine and envision it happening and before they even went in the water imagine yourself in the water imagine yourself being attacked imagine yourself getting the water the your oxygen taken imagine yourself having 2 minutes imagine yourself having to fulfill the task and the beginning was hard but they trained them to a point that when they started taking the test 100% pro pass rate because everyone all of a sudden was able to go and see such an idea we have to train ourselves we have to train ourselves this two is for the good this two is for the best this two is for the good I'll share it with you with a song a song that we sing all the time we say it every chabas and it's funny because so many times when we go and we sing songs we don't really know we're singing we're not really paying attention to the words that's in English and Hebrew even in English even though we are like a lot of different songs like um yeah I can't think of one but anyway yeah but that was a hit single uh so so those type of things you know how many how many songs do we know the tune and like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but like you don't actually know the words right and then you stop and listen to the words you're like this is quite depressing this song right it's like this is not like a good language say again you think it's language oh I'll give you an example oh that's a different language I'm talking the language of your your language I said even English because most are Anglo but but if for Hebrew even Hebrew we're not paying attention to what we're saying of course I agree so I'll give you one one cats in the cradles right cats in the cradles right by who who wrote that song har good it goes like Cat Stevens right Harry chapen why why did they write that song do you know why he wrote it right it actually it was his wife who gave him the idea from her first husband who had an issue with his father and then he is equated to his own son how do I know that because my father sent me a WhatsApp about two days ago he goes who wrote Cats in the Cradle said Harry chap so he said who do he write it for I said I don't know he said he wrote it because of his son in the meantime I Wikipedia what you got now and I came back with wasn't technically for his son it was really his wife's ex-husband the father is but anyway if you if you go and you heting right back I don't know any but if you go ahead and you listen to the song it's unbelievably depressing it's a depressing song right the whole thing is and it's amazing to see because I'll sometimes sing it in a class I'll go through like a whole discussion about it's actually connected very to P right I think we're going to have it after the Grier anyway so but basically you go through the PES I mean that's essentially what what Cats in the Cradle is right that we continue living to the Next Generation that which we learned earlier right so passing it on and continuing it hopefully for the positive not for the negative when you come in home son I don't know when we'll get together then Dad you know we'll have a good time then depressing right and we you listen to it like that to and I love watching people to get into the song what does it mean I don't [Applause] know oh let's he this is going to be good tell me because when the night is dark we need to taste of how much godes us so it's easy to thank when things are good like when it's and when are rough us sold right outside for only 75 sheel or 100 depending if it's English or Hebrew all right so now yeah there we go you throw a you get you get money off this what's going on here all right so one what's that oh unbelievable unbeliev you just brought I believe it's nice yeah said that what you got now okay so if you want to go the easiest on to the source okay yeah yeah yeah well I don't remember asking a question I do remember saying we generally don't know what it means but if you took that as a question why do we what what does it mean oh you're so funny yeah yeah I hear that you haven't heard of rhetorical yet all right so um rhetorical means oh I'm so sorry okay so it goes like this what does rhetorical so here we go so um I wasn't looking for but I'm glad that you said that I'm glad that you said that and that by the way is actually I'm happy you said that because it's quite accurate it's quite accurate most people translate it wrong most people translate it wrong and I'm going to share with you the wrong way to translate it as many people do this is the easy way of getting out of the issue of it being wrong is I'm just going to start by saying homolytically right then it's okay then I can say whatever I want okay so homiletically speaking there are myriads of understandings of what this could be okay but I'm going to sh with you one it is good what's lodos Tok to thank you agree just hun right right to to recognize to acknowledge to admit to thank it's good and to sing to his great name and to sing how how many of us sing to Hashem if you do great there's a real question now okay you're welcome yeah how many of us how many of us sing to Hashem you're PR live no so how many of us sing I know a guy in France how many of us sing to Hashem other we go we say I say how many of you thank God how many people thank God sometimes great sometimes how many of you sing to God sometimes okay good good we're getting good right I'm not the talking yeah we say we should be singing should be thank you thank you thank you graas thank you in Spanish the friend say all these mean thank you so we go we thank we thank but we sing now translated wrong I'm not being fous I'm being serious to speak out in the mornings your your kindness your acts of kindness towards us which literally me means your faith in us but homolytically means and then our faith in you how does one have faith in God during the night in other words when things are dark and difficult the only way you'll be able to handle life challenges as if we were first if we admit and we thank and we recognize and we speak out and we thank God and then along with that we go ahead during the good times and everything is clear that when the bad times or the not so good times or the seemingly bad times come to us we'll be fortified to be able to mentally handle it does it make sense what I'm saying do this make sense a person has to prepare themselves and I want to share with you what I did because of this there's a song I think it's an uncle M song I can't promise but I think it's Uncle Mishi I wish I would say that it's you know something that I would love to listen to but actually actually half of my kids actually hate it now because the younger one right it's like put it on right so my kid's in a stage now that everyone's Uncle Mishi he's young he's only 14 any so I don't have a 14 okay anyway so um UNC m is this great song if you miss a bus or a train you must name never never complain if you miss or train or a bus you must never never make a fuss because G everyone now okay so I have like this yeah I love it what I stop okay so this is one of the greatest stories my wife and I and our children were traveling from I I don't remember exactly the details I know we were coming from Israel or maybe from a different country I don't remember any of details so I know we were going on a plane we were attempting to go on a plane I'm going to fill and I think I think we went from here to Philly does that make sense is that a hub yeah what is not anymore Philly's done I'm going to Philly in like a week I hope it's not done no it's not done oh Philly's there okay good right scaring me here this made a new Rocky Philly better be around okay anyway so that uh so we it could have been Toronto you know what I'm saying Philly Toronto anyway so we uh but we're on our way to M to Canada right so we we went and the plane in Israel took off so late that it was so unlikely they were going to make the next flight and you know how people get when they're going to miss their flight even though it wasn't like AR shab it was like a Tuesday you know but if you miss your flight then that means you're not going to get another flight for like six weeks you have to live in the airport you're not allow to eat anything then we just think like crazy things oh my gosh we're going to miss that so you'll miss your fly like what's a big deal okay no it's very big yeah why you know cuz I don't want to miss it right and we make it to this huge thing anyway so we're going and uh when we land in Philly or Toronto or wherever we landed we had to first take a train to then take a bus to then take the pl like it was like this whole thing and then we had to run and we had to crawl through this course and uh we was basically train it was boot camp it was nuts anyway yeah I told you the story anyway so basically I didn't want to get into that part yet but anyway so so you know we have this whole thing and we we finally we get to the now when we get to the bus place it just the bus takes off and I said to the kids I'm like kids if you miss a bus or a train now my 11-year-old's like this you're in stop it now okay just stop it yeah I'm like what you know and my younger one's like yay and I'm like dancing Gul kids like what are wrong with I'm like isn't this the best thing ever going to happen guys comes we've been listening to the song for years for this moment you better dance I'm getting rid of that CD right if you miss a trainer a bus I miss a bus or a plane nothing better we miss a bus and we're going to miss our plane what's better than that coms a Lova right my my wife already was get had enough of me but anyway so finally a bus comes we get we get to the next terminal and now we're running towards a plane we're running and and it starts you know and we're going and we're and I said my wife is pushing the Stoller and my kids all running and like wife just I'm like what do I do she's like just go ahead I'm like okay right starts running and my three I three kids running ahead of me and this is the best moment they're all wearing Crocs now I don't know what happened I don't know what happened I don't know what was there but literally all of them at the same time at some point SW they just all fell just went straight down on their faces out of a SL or got sticky at something but they're all like running I'm like just go kids honey I'll see you sometime I love you my kids are like running I'm like go kids like all right I was like oh my goodness and I jumped over them I kept going right you what happen we got to make this flight and we get to that I get to the gate to the thing ofama jig and I go woman like till we miss the plane till we miss the plane like for sure we missed the plane it's like a half hour after take off you know I'm like do we missed the plane and she goes no I was like what do you mean she goes the crew isn't even here yet they're running late I was like oh so I look back my kids are like bleeding my wife is running she knocked one over with the stroller and she's like what happened I said we missed it and there's not a fight for another week and this woman bursts out laughing she's like what I'm like no I'm just kidding she's like oh yeah that's anyway I don't want to go into what happened next but but the the point is in that circumstance I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm not saying I mess up a lot that you could ask my wife too she'll tell you but in this particular instance I I had no I was totally a state of Joy the whole time maybe because we were going to my in-laws and but and we had a little delay but but but I'm saying that no but I was on what happens is I train without even realizing every day I'm listening to you say it you speak about it what happens it becomes a part of you when you say it you speak about you think about it it actually starts to enter into you the more one thinks about the more someone speaks about it the more one focuses and FOC the more one focuses the more it enters and it becomes them and it starts to be natural starts to be natural it's no longer you have to think about it starts to be natural let's talk about negativity wise person goes ahead and they they grow up in a home which is very nice decent home and everyone is raised in a way which is proper appropriate behavior and the way they speak and the way they dress the way they behave and then they hang out with people that there's there their Moe of language is not exactly the same You Know M cooking and jamas yeah it's more like be jamas yeah and and you go ahead and you start hanging out with them what happens you start to speak like them we start to get we adapt to our surroundings when you start to speak like some like that it starts to happen without us even realizing it the same thing is so we start to push it how does a person keep the joy of per how does a person ever have joy when we start to see the good things in our lives and we speak them out and we sing them we sing them something good happens I found a pen thank you Lord for this pen we go we sing them we sing to hasem and it starts to becomea something bad happens what's considered bad not getting into the discussion of the gar here I'm just saying something small you st your toe and when you stub your toe you right away say not like you don't need like bad for bid somebody died or whatever you can't find your you can't find your keys well that's an intense one I shouldn't have said that one but let's say you can't find a pen all right you can't find a pen get into a mode where we're constantly saying it when a person is constantly saying it starts to enter in when it starts to enter in it starts to change everything all right peeps let's do it like this quick recap everything we did end off with one story then fin we go so we start the begin go into we lesser joy we increase our joy what are you supposed to feel Tav joy joy joy Joy just a little bit less me say the joy sometimes more sometimes less but always say the joy how you always Happ you don't know but how does a person why would you not be happy well I'll tell you why I wouldn't be happy because of this problem that problem the other problem why would you be happy but give me examples what is it I would say this what you got to smoke your own you got to smoke your own your grass is the greenest that exists there is no greener grass your grass is the greenest everything have do we blessing the good things what do you mean same not the same don't get confused by a smile doesn't mean it's stop it me right start to realize that what happens we go ahead and we feel likea when we start to focus on the good things that happen you're going to get it next week whatever I don't even care no you do care right you're going to get next week for the ladies two weeks all right you'll be able to lose the weight whatever it is yeah what happens come the real effect we're going to get it unbeliev am me you're going to get it next week in two weeks whatever you want I me amen oh there you go you too you too amen thank you right okay we are the beautiful V's faith in us the improper translation me what that we are faith in hem says woman how you going to tell me be talking when they going through such a thingers I can't once you're in it when you're being crushed by something you can't lift it off CU you don't work out and if you don't work out your mind you're going be able to deal with it when the things happen in our lives because we got to train ourselves against come overaa you miss a train or bus you must make a fuss Miss bus or a chain never complain even when you're run through an airpl your wife is running after you got no planes for next week we don't have any food we're dying right what Happ comes to fact hey it's everything's good everything's all right everything's good got to thank hashm we got to speak with hm we got to sing to Hashem and consistency over and over drill it in and F focus focus focus this is for the best this is for the best this is for the best and with a good happen this is for the best start to realize the fact everything is good everything is good and then a person always has joy and we'll end with the story which some of you I'm sure have heard in other context certainly With Me Maybe with others as well the story don't be that guy if you know it don't be that guy don't bust me out here we go story is told about a guy there was this guy named Carlos everybody love this guy just want to be next to this guy back to your home country come on right so what do we got this guy Carlos was always in a good mood everybody loved just being around him he worked in a restaurant people would go to the restaurante just to be in his presence they just want to hang out with the guy because he was so right he's always in a good mood so one day you know some guy goes to him you know hey Carlos what's up it's like couldn't be better if I was my own twin you know they're like all right dude you know what I'm saying like it's a little weird you know but all right you know like yo man how are you always so happy he said well it's quite simple now I wake up in the morning I think to myself I have two options today I could either be in a good mood or a bad mood today I could look at things favorably or unfavorably today I can be in a state of positivity or negativity I decide good favorable positive that's about it I just choose to be in a good mood like come on man it's no F that ain't so easy said yeah it is it's that simple come on it's that simple okay this fellow Carlos like we mentioned worked in a restaurant did anyone you ever work in a restaurant work in a restaurant did anyone you ever close a restaurant at night the when you do it the lesson you've closed the restaurant before what is the first thing you're meant to do when you're closing the restaurant the first thing you do people you say thank you for coming they leave what's the first thing you do good lock the door why do you lock the door nobody else that's one idea there's another reason generally the most amount of money that's found is at the end of the day because people go unless you send someone in the middle of the day to go cash in right but you have the most amount the money people are coming in whatever it is you have all the money there most robberies occur by closing time turn out all the lights cuz they go ahead what happens closing so the first thing you do is lock the doors don't let anyone in either to bother you or in order to go ahead and steal the money so one time was closing up he forgot to lock the door Cardinal said and he goes and he's by you know and two peopleas you got that two people coming with guns they're like all right for get over rap give over the cash so he he like takes the key back to the to the cash and he gets nervous he fumbles them they get nervous and they shoot him and he's hits the floor they run out he calls up the ambulance police whatever it isance gets there they're like all man you going to make it they take him they throw him in the ambulance they missed he hit his head they pick him up again they put him gently and they take him let's f fast forward a year and a half later a year and a half later he's walking down the street after operations and after physical therapy and after who knows what here he is walking down the street and his friend sees [Applause] him happen man a long time how you doing he said I couldn't be better if I got you shot again want to see my scar like okay ad raka you know what I mean like come on you know what I mean I get it here in happiness but what do you mean you got shot you're dead you almost shot through the heart and that guy was to blame you know what I'm saying You Give Love a Bad Thing so he says let me tell you a story story in the story he says so I got shot and there I was am came they threw me in they missed it hurt they P me in gently we went to the to the hospital when we got to the hospital they ra to head so of course there's a whole team of doctors is waiting and they're ready to work on me and when the doors fly open I see them they see me and then I look at their faces and I see the look of death on their faces and I think to myself I must not look too good and they start working on me they pulling out the needle and doing this and go and then all of a sudden one of them yells out are you allergic to anything right cuz you can't put in the wrong medications and I said yes so everybody stopped working said well what is it I said bullets and they burst out laughing and I said listen let me tell you something I made a decision I want to live can you please treat me like aive person and not like a dead person I don't know those of you are familiar with the medical system but unfortunately when a patient comes in that doesn't seem like they're gonna make it you do protocol do what you got to do and it's okay unfortunate make it but if you think someone stands a chance what happens to you what happens to all of us you get energized and then you put more in you go above protocol so he said please treat me like aive person and not like a dead person my friends everything in life the way in which we see it is totally up to us if you were in a bad mood today another day sometime in your life you chose to be in a bad mood you can't blame anyone but your you couldn't blame your in-laws but other than that you can blame no one but yourself men since time of moral have been blaming their wives but the understanding is that really you can't blame any because nobody can affect you unless you let them affect you and if we're not in a good mood it's because we decided to not be focusing and F on the positive things in our life and if we were to take the time to focus on the positive and we're able to get into a mode where we train ourselves gamov able to work it out step by step what ends up happening then we could take not only the joy of purm to continuing it we can continue not just for now but really for our entire lives any questions comments stories jokes attacks please he the verbal and physical what you got buddy no no not you behind you behind you behind you yeah what you got um today I was trying to get back to Baka from M and I took the wrong bus I end started took time to figure that out took your time to figure that one out huh so I'll tell you something it's fascinating because the gar says in I believe it's on page 53 but you're not going to check anyways so I can make it up the Kamar says you're going to check uh oh in that case it's it's found in the page that says that I think it's page 53 you can check right that says says that any place a person's legs take them that's where they're meant to be nothing random thear tells a story it's a funny story it's not funny at all actually it's horrible but it's humorous depends if you're from England or not what type of humor you have right but the story goes like this there was a there was a uh a fellow by the name of King Solomon and King Solomon saw Satan he saw the Satan he saw that he was he was sad he was upset so he goes what's the problem he goes yeah I'm trying to kill this guy but he's not going to the place where he's supposed to die because there's really a time and a place for everything in this life even a place where one is supposed to die and the person's not going to where they need to die so I'm not able to kill them so quickly sh says oh okay thanks yeah have a good day Satan and he listens to St at Heaven backwards and it says here you sing and he goes ahead and he goes to uh you have to know that one to know that one but anyway so he goes ahead and he goes to uh he quickly goes to the guy he says listen quickly go to the city of L I was hoping you were gonna get this you did so good I did go to the city of did in E grade okay go to the still I'm holding you to that level go to the city of LZ why because the city of LZ you're protected Satan can't get in the guy says okay next day he's walking down the street and he sees Satan and he's laughing he says why are you laughing he says because somebody told me tomorrow I'm going to get what I want so he said so why are you laughing so he said because remember that guy well I couldn't get killed because he wasn't going to the right place well I was finally able to kill him because what do you mean you know he goes he was supposed to be killed by the entrance to the city of LZ and someone sent him to LZ so before he got there I killed him that's why I say it's not funny it's actually a sad story it's a depressing song when he come at home son but any place a person's likes take them that's where they're meant to be a person lives a life like that it's a whole another world yeah no no no no no so I said I said is to say to your sister and to your brother-in-law I can't say anything to them they're going through right now to you I could say because you're less your one step remove that you could maybe hear what I'm saying but even that's going to be challenging I'm only going to see this someone one time in life I have an opportunity what can I say really when someone's going through an emotional experience there's really nothing to say other than I'm sorry you know I feel your pain right to give a little hug but if you have that Shania thing so you maybe don't do that yeah so that you grab some woman do you mind hugging her please thank you right so that could be awkward but okay you go ahead I only did it once anyway so so you go ahead and and but what I was saying hopefully to say is like listen you want to know the question this particular one there's nothing I could say but you want to know for life we need to prepare ourselves we don't prepare ourselves we don't stand a chance if we prepare our El We Stand more of a chance not a guarantee but we stand more of a chance all right people till next time been a pleasure to see when I see [Applause] you thank you very much I just want to quickly make it thank you very much for everybody coming once again of God our dear friend Aon goldsher is outside selling his so if you're interested please oh you didn't know stava what the