Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz: The Costs of Deception

my baby [Music] Shalom thank you for coming uh Rabbi posting is away this week but we have iron number two who's uh very generously set things up plus uh my cover Arya who's also here as a professional uh I want to say that today's tonight's share is dedicated for a refuge Lima for yonatan Michal benchhava Arya Ben Rifka Hadas batsara and khanabadita edel and may all of them have a report Israel may discuss of the learning give them a good health last week we were when we were learning we were discussing marriage so I want to actually hold over one thought even though it's technically not from this partial but it's a I think a useful thought to think about when little Rifka shows up when she's finally brought back to where rich Israel so the posic says that Yitzhak brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and he loved her very very Rashi brings a very very beautiful medrish Rashi says that there were three Miracles that were associated with the tent the home of Sarah emmanu one was near Dalek when she would light a candle a light in honor of Shabbos it lasted the whole week the second was a bracha baisa in her dough in her bread there was a blessing when you ate it you felt good you felt full no matter how little you ate and finally the Shekinah was there as symbolized by a Cloud of Glory over her tent when Sora died at the age of 127 although avram was still alive avram was alive but all of those Miracles ceased because they came in the Merit of Sorrow when Rifka came into the tent the home of sorry mainu all of those Miracles returned in spite of the fact that she was a very young girl some say three some say 14. either way she was very young so then Yitzhak loved her because he saw in her not a replacement of his mother but a woman that would be like his mother to be holy and righteous so the first point about this is reverse's well-known observation that true love comes after marriage and not before right it doesn't say that he loved her and he married her but rather she became his wife he loved her he brought her into the tent of Sarah Etc meaning Love Comes not before you're married right people think sometimes that we have to have a Hollywood romance in which I See Stars I'm a dumbstruck and only then do I know it's my best shirts no obviously when you make a decision to marry somebody you make an assessment that it looks like it makes sense but the true love comes from a shared experience of building a life when you have husband and wife then there is love until that point you only have prediction which may or may not be be accurate that's refers famous observation but there's another observation that some before should make based on the ramban the ramban points out a very striking analogy the ramban points out that the three miracles of service tense corresponds very closely to three miracles in the mishkan and later the base the candle burning from Shabbat corresponds to one of the candles of the menorah that was a near tamid that they would like to manure every day but there was one candle that Burns continuously right that's why we have in the show as isator to the nearest amen we have a light over the aranakodesh so the near tamid corresponds to the nerdal look mayor of Chavez the air of Shabbos foreign a blessing in her dough corresponds to the lechem upon him remember there was a gold shohan in the mishkan and later the base of mikdar in which every Shabbos they would put 12 Carlos is a little misleading this is actually unleavened bread so think about the lava or something like that you know Spartacus but 12 of them and they would be on the show Khan the entire week till next Shabbos and the next Shabbos they would put new Bread on it and the old bread would be taken by the kohanim and it would be eaten so it's more than a week old but it was still warm and fresh that is the bracha in the dough that corresponds to the second Miracle of Sarah's tense the third Miracle of Summer's tent was there was a Cloud of Glory over her tent that symbolized the shechina the mishkan indeed also had an Anan over the Michigan so the ramban says sorry stands anticipated the three major miracles of the Michigan what is the significance of that comparison the significance of that comparison is that the mikdash the mishkan and later the base of miktas is simply an imitation of the divine presence that lives in a Jewish Home between the husband and wife in other words the base of miktash is a reminder to us of the potentiality we have to create a base on mikdash in our homes and therefore the real base amicdush the real place where God's presence resides is in the loving relationship of a husband and a wife and that's very very significant you know it's a cliche but it's an old cliche but the truth of matter is cliches are almost always true because how does something become a cliche because it's said over and over and over again but why is it said over and over and over again because it actually is true so cliches are not false statements they're often repeated statements but they're usually true and the old cliche is that the most important institution in Judaism is not the show and it's not the Yeshiva and it's not even the basic it is the Jewish home because from The Jewish Home everything else is built when you have strong marriages and a strong relationship of parents and children then the Torah is transmitted the Torah is passed down the Torah is experienced and then you'll have your shows and you'll have your yeshivas and you'll have everything that a Jewish Community needs when the family is weakened when the family is destroyed when there is not shalom in being husband and wife then it's very difficult I'm not saying it's impossible great people have come even from broken homes so it's not impossible but it's much much more difficult to be able to do and that is why hola quickly when a Jewish Community is being established and we have to fundraise for different uh institutions the very first institution we have to have is a Mikvah a Mikvah has priority over a baked knesset and even over Yeshiva and the reason is because the Mikvah is the institution that enables the maintenance of a marriage relationship without to make whether it couldn't be issues there couldn't be marriage Etc that highlights the idea that that is the holiest thing and once again that comes from the ramban's observation that the three miracles of the mikdash are just replications of the three miracles of the tent of Sarah Emmanuel and sorry maina was kind of the Prototype of the Jewish wife the Jewish mother the one who builds the foundation of the entire family um in fact if I could put in a little commercial there is a an organization I'm involved with a little bit so it's not my organization anyway it's called core you can actually Google core see oh are you familiar with it and core is actually devoted to this idea that when you strengthen women in a Jewish family that's going to have Ripple effects on husbands on children and it's a tremendous thing in which women get together and they talk about you know how to contribute more how to make kadusha both professionally and within the family within the community a year into your involvement say again sure yes yeah oh yeah sure sure sure sure right right yeah she was very very much involved with it yeah so that kind of ties into the rampant's point that the base of miktas is just reminding us of the power of Sarah emmanu in her home and by extension every Jewish woman can be a servant he may know you know at least in microcosm and the like so I apologize for kind of continuing something from last week but I thought it was a worthwhile thing to talk about but now we move to the new generation already we talk about yitzvah avram technically didn't die yet but but in a sense the way the Torah writes when the Torah is going to shift the action to a new person it always talks about the old person as dying even though the old person is actually living a number of more years but he's no longer the center of attention so abramovino is no longer the center of attention of the narrative we talk about and it mentions that yitzra can Rifka were married of course we know that last week and Rifka and yitzlak were not able to have children and they didn't have children for 20 years 20 years now lamita uh you took Mary drift at 40. so you took was 60 when he had children uh if rivka was only three years old so a 20 year weight isn't so bad she was 23 but still 20 years is a long wait she could have had children before that 18 or whatever it would be and it mentions that they both haven't they dive into Hashem for children you stuck in one corner and Rifka in the other corner and the plastic says Hashem listened to yitzhak's prayer and rivka conceived and had carrying twins which now we'll get into the twins in a moment but the simple question that Rashi raises from Ghazal is if it's both praying then why is it the case that Hashem listens to yet such prayer and doesn't say he listens to rifica's prayer sirashi gives an answer again it's from the madrish anodama Fila sadik Ben sadik Lichfield in Russia the prayer of a righteous person who is a son of a righteous person is much more powerful than the prayer of a righteous person who is the child of Russia is not only at Sadiq but she's the daughter of a Russia the Sewell so the prayer of assadic Ben Sadiq has greater power than the prayer of the in the case of sadikas Bas Russia this is what Rashi brings and that's why they had children in the Merit of yitzrak and not in the Merit of rivka so the question that people ask is a very obvious question in truth I would make the opposite argument I would say hey you're excited because you were raised by a righteous person so of course you were Sonic but Rifka to come from a house of idolatry a house of immorality a house of dishonesty and to somehow even as a young person be righteous and holy and devoted to God that's a much greater accomplishment because I'll say for example we know this that the balchuva the one who was not religious who came to the Torah is greater than the Sadiq who never sinned because the balchuva was involved in the world of Tuma and was able to go beyond it that's a much greater accomplishment than the person who was never in that world at all so it's a share it's a difficult why do gazelle say that the prayer of the Sadiq Ben Sadiq is greater than the prayer of the Sadiq in this case Russia so there is a again a well-known thought very powerful thought from Brady is known as the altar the old man of Kellum Kellum was a town and the German Lithuanian border and with sympresiso was the greatest well not remember the month starts the greatest but certainly one of the greatest for sure and actually probably the closest talmud to a visual cilante and he started a school devoted to training teenagers not just in Yeshiva but in Worcester in ethics in fact I could give I could talk a whole hour about the unusual methodologies of Kellen he wanted to train boys these are boys like between 14 and 18 basically Kellum was more or less a high school I mean there were older people there too but you know his main family were young kids and he wanted to train them in inner discipline in reflection in thinking about things not being impulsive so he had all sorts of rituals for example if you got a food package from home or a letter from home you had to wait 24 hours until you opened it you shouldn't be like an animal We're Not Gonna you know I gotta do it Etc uh or there was a requirement in the middle of the night for the five minute Learning Center five minutes no more no less okay no less I understand you gotta what's wrong with no one I want to learn 15 minutes the answer is no the point wasn't so much the learning the point was don't waste time because you know people say I'll be a minute late I'll be three minutes late like what's the big deal no no no when it's a five minute learning session you can't really be late if you're one minute late you've already you know lost 20 25 or 20 of the learning so this was a discipline in time so I had all of these exercises time management and neatness um in fact as a young boy I actually went to Callum and he tells the story he used to tell the story that the first time he came to calendar was a Monday or Thursday Korea Satora and it looked like there was no coming and reviakov noticed a Cohen into the show so he went over to the guy by and he said we have a calling so the guy by said thank you very much you owe the Yeshiva Aruba so he said why do I owe the Yeshiva Aruba because you're not allowed to look around you're in governing if you look around during the evening that shows you're not fully concentrating so you did us a favor but you got to pay a canal because you're not supposed to look around so Kellum was that way so if yaakov said later about Kellum that every young boy should spend six months and tell him but he said no more he says no more I said six months he said was enough for him so the object of Callum was really a pedagogue he was a psychologist of the Soul he really like understood what motivated people uh and and that's what he was he really was an architect of nishamas that many of them without going over all the personalities many of the next generation of the Bali mustard of Mir were tamidam of the altar of Kellam Rev destler was atonement of Automotive desler's father was a very close Comet of the uh of the uh of them I'm sorry of the altar of Callum through of desler was in fact tell them was rev dustlers town in fact Kellum survived as a Yeshiva till the Holocaust and in fact rev destler was already in England where investor went to England before World War II but recession lost much of his family in the Nazi Massacre of talent and somehow there were some survivors who filled in the details and told them the story of how the Nazis massacred that Sage and if desler writes about it in a very powerful almost unusually personal account he writes about the idea that part of what the Nazis wanted the Nazis didn't only want to kill Jews they also wanted to humiliate them they wanted to shame them they wanted to you know reduce them to people who were crying and screaming like animals and the Nazis had a sadistic pleasure in that humiliation but they're confronting the people of Calum whose whole life was about self-control and thoughtfulness and they were quiet and they were dignified and they would talk to each other we're getting ready to die now we have to purify ourselves so we come to God in a holy way and that we be a capara for calling Israel and nobody was excited nobody was agitated they just understood that just as they lived all of their lives rashem now is the time to die for Hashem and that's part of our job part of their job and what always gets me this is I find this almost spooky the Nazi guards who are supposed to just kill these people they didn't know how to deal with this they had never seen like such dignity such holiness and they started even asking The Hires up you know maybe we'll let's let these people go just leave them alone and unfortunately the the very short-lived Yates are Tov that the Nazis had was replaced by the more dominant so they did their job but isn't it a powerful thing that there could be a caducea that's so strong that even the Nazi gets overwhelmed with it a little bit that the Nazi feels powerless to act now the altar of count had been dead uh you know by the 1890s so he was long gone but this was the Yeshiva that he established the altar of killing so going back to the question because this is all just ordered by by graphical detail but going back to the question why is the prayer of isadiq bensada Greater than the prayer of itsadiq been Russia so he says it's very important to raise our children properly to give them guidance give them Direction give them structure But ultimately each person must learn to serve Hashem as an individual we're not supposed to be uh cookie cutter we're supposed to be individuals we're supposed to find our uniqueness within the common framework of Torah and Mitzvahs which is a common denominator we have to find a unique way that we serve alcohol now if you understand that spiritual growth requires the introspection and insight find your individual way then in a sense the job of assadic Ben sadik is actually harder because if your father is phenomenally great Sadiq like avramabena the easiest most natural thing in the world would have been I will imitate my father and yet did not imitate Abram had a different approach in the service of God avram's approach was outgoing giving extroverted foreign concentrated on inner strength and discipline book was not just the son of asadic followed his father in his own way even though he was the son of assadic now in the case of rivka once Rifka understands that her father's way is no good she knows she has to find her own way because there's no other role model so the altar of Kellum used to say it's a much greater accomplishment to be exotic when you're the son of exotic and to find your own path instead of just imitating your father than it is for the Sadiq the son of a Russia because the subject the son of Russia knows they got to find their own way because there is no other way the Sadiq bensonic wouldn't necessarily know that and therefore the lesson here is one of individuality one of uniqueness foreign or beauty it's reminiscent of another discusses the Mitzvah of writing a Taurus girl you know that one there's a Mitzvah in the Torah that at least every man woman but every man is supposed to write or commission a sofa to write a safer Tower now obviously most of us do not do the Mitzvah in that literal way part of it is money it costs 225 000 at least to get a Savory tour written and if you want to write one yourself that's quite hard and you need a lot of training for that one so how we fulfill the myths for today is a big big muklocus you can you can fulfill the mitzvahan partnership so when a show as writing a safer Torah so you buy a letter so even though there are 100 people let's say or 500 people who are contributing but your makayam Siva safritera with that partnership the shark brings an opinion of the rush that says that the reason why there was a midst for the right of safer Torah is because people used to learn from safer terrorists and therefore the Mitzvah was to increase the availability of texts from which you learn since bismar we actually do not use the Taurus Roe for learning says by buying swarim that you will learn from I add that you will learn from not just to buy this morning so that's a very easy way to be my kind of it's a normal probability it's advisable that you try to do both meaning if you're not going to actually commission a whole safer Torah on one hand participate in the writing of a Taurus grow and at the same time buy a safer even one safer already and you're my kind of now the way the gemara describes the mitzvitz is the following even though you yarn you inherit it a safer Terror from your parents you must write your own safer Tower in other words inheriting it from a parent is not good enough so bederic Rush homolytically the way it's expressed is the following the safer Terror refers to the Legacy I get from my parents how to serve God how to live a good life and what does it saying even though your parents gave you a beautiful safe return you have to write your own safer Torah you don't simply imitate now what's interesting is when a safe recovery is written you do have to copy it from another safe return or a chicken which is you know based on a safer Torah so on one level when I create my religious life I do base that I want my parents taught me but every software has its own different handwriting Etc so yeah you're copying the same basic Torah but you have to bring your individual touch to it and that's very important and this is what shlomon Melo says in mishlay the wisest of all men in the Book of Proverbs train educate a young person according to their way and the Vilma God says every child every person has their particular way of connecting to him and the goal of a parent and the goal of an educator whether you're a teacher whether you're a parent because every parent is a teacher and ideally every teacher should also be a parent that's how a teacher should function is not to impose some structure on the child take the goodness within the child and direct it in a good and productive way self-discovery open them up let them discover what is inside of them that is great and Noble and beautiful and that of course is why the ideal educational system in the Torah was homeschooling where a parent learns with a child ideally that was better than a school ideally and the reason is simple one-to-one interaction I'm attuned to the child later parents were not always capable there were many orphans so we created a school system problem with the school system even when the school is very good in British event there are I mean there are schools that we could be critical of but there are very very fine schools as well and very devoted teachers men and women that who do a tremendous job but still if you have even 20 people in a class and that's a relatively small class how can you respond to the uniqueness of every person 20 students need 20 teachers and the 20 teachers each of them may have to be different in a sense and that's sometimes the tragedy of uh you know as they say uh people are are gifted in many many ways you know the in the Yeshiva system we prize a certain component of intelligence kind of analytical textual intelligence meaning you're successful in the Yeshiva World because you understand Gomorrah well you you think quickly you have a good memory so someone that doesn't have that skill set which is a very important skill set obviously kind of gets stigmatized as maybe dumb or substandard or not really you know accomplishing that much and even if it's not said even if it's not said that sometimes a message that's communicated but the thing is instead of saying some people are better and some people are worse the idea is people can be great in different ways so for example someone who is not particularly gifted in analytical learning might have a very high emotional intelligence in terms of empathy in terms of understanding people and the other person who might be brilliant in gemara might be a little obtuse on the Asperger Spectrum or something in terms of not understanding what people are so it's not a question if somebody is better than somebody else all of us have strengths all of us have weaknesses Hashem made a world that needs all of these quantities so I as a parent I as an educator all of us we got to identify what those qualities are and help the person develop them in the best way that that we can and as they say that's why the static lymphatic is greater because he becomes an individual notwithstanding the existing role model that he has now in the negative sense this comes up in the story of Jacob and asaph again and this again is a thought from reverse the project says that Rifka was very perturbed in her pregnancy because while literally the Columbus just says because there was constant agitation in the womb but hazal basically explained it in the madrish that whenever she didn't know what was going on whenever she walked by a house of abodeazara there was a lot of kicking and when she walked by a house of Hashem there was a lot of kicking so either way she's getting kicked and she goes to shame the son of Noah who's a prophet and he says oh the reason why is because you have two kids that you're carrying good kid bad kid so to speak bad kid wants to go out to the other Zora Etc now the project says that she gives birth and the children even look physically to their twins right twins you'd figure even if they're not ident obviously they're not identical twins okay but even so I mean they should look somewhat the same but Ace of is ready and Ace of his hairy and yaakov is light complexions and yaakov is smooth and the public says the young children grew up together as twins and Ace of became a hunter and yaakov became the dweller in the tents to listen to what our first says and again I uh I have to cover myself because in my experience when I've said over this thought people look if people attacked me how dare you criticize the ovos and you'll hear in a moment so I hate Santa this is not my thought at all this is from a verse and her first says the following you know what the problem was you know when people have twins they kind of dress they think it's cute you dress them the same I think you slime I see they dress they can have 10 kids dress them all the same okay that's Ryan Hara but at least in America where we dress our kids differently but twins they often dress them the same right to look the same and the light so here is the idea there's a Jacob and an ASA and yet wanted to raise them together put them both in the basement make them both learn Torah all day whatever Torah meant at that time no make them all go to minions again I have this anachronistic but you know I'm just applying it today they got to go to show and they got to sit at the Shoppers table quietly in other words means they were raised the same way and the first says the reason why ASA went off the Derek is because this was not the way that was appropriate to asaph also had abilities asab also had strengths he was a go-getter he was an organizer he knew how to get things done but he didn't have and Yiddish the zits flesh to sit in the basement and learn all day when you try to make an Asaf into a yaakov not only are you not going to get a Yakov you're not going to get the Ace of that you could have got asaph could have been a Sonic on a different level asaph could have been the guy that you know makes millions of dollars and contributes it to panovich asaph could have been the Builder of Lakewood get him applying a thermometer and yaakov would have been the Russia Shiva of Lakewood despised it but he would have had that highlight so reverse says no no again as I say some people are critical who are we what gives us the right to criticize the parental decisions okay I mean even if that's true the point is a good point the point is a very important Point even if it's a little bit of a hutzpah to apply it to yaakov and asaph but this is where the first says this is how important is you try to put a square peg in a round hole you know and you keep on pushing it and stripping it what happens it's going to break it's gonna break I can't get it in there and once again this is a you know the phenomenon that we have in the from Community whether it's called off the Derek or kids at risk and whatever terminology you want to use is a very complicated problem you can't reduce it to one or two things and every family will have its own story so I don't mean to suggest some Universal reason for why these things happen but certainly one of the reasons you know and I've heard this myself you know many many times is that the child was forced into an environment that didn't allow his personality to breathe and all of his interests and all of his co-hosts that could have been assimilated within a Torah framework were squelched we're ignored we're disparaged and the only thing that counted were doing things that he was not even necessarily fully capable of doing that breaks his spirit creates depression makes a person feel like a failure so a person needs validation a person needs encouragement person needs to feel good about themselves so they go into other Pathways of course that's that doesn't bring that does not bring them satisfaction that happens to be true but at least they're looking for it they're looking for something so this is the Insight of reverse foreign so now though let's move a little ahead there are two scenes in partially told us of yaakov taking advantage of asaph the first is when they are 15 years old that actually gives you a calculation when yaakov is cooking lentils and uh and it is said that this is the day that avrah mabinu died and the lentils are the food you give to a mourner to feed he's going to feed his father Etc and asab comes in hunting and he's a starving and ASAP says how retaining now which is a very kind of a disgusting language take the whole bowl and pour it down my throat pour it down and and the like and the yaakov says them you sell me your bakara is the firstborn right to do service Divine service that that was given to the Bahar before there was a Mishka and sell it to me and ASAP sells it to him and what does Asaf say yes it was very honest he says I'm gonna die meaning quite literally you know I don't need spiritual things I don't know because there's only eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we will die I don't need it is he despised it so yaakov acquired now is this again I what type of label you put on it is very clear first of all it's very very clear this did not involve deception of any way there was no deception yaakov said exactly what he wanted and they've agreed so the issue is not deception here unlike the bracos we'll get to the issue I guess would be duress coercion if ASA was really starving yaakov seems to be taking advantage but on the other hand you know ASAP is not going to literally die here and divisive says the Bukhara is not even worth a pot of beans to me or a pot of beans is worth more than a bakara then ASAP doesn't deserve it ASAP does not deserve that distinction okay so that's scene number one scene number two is many many years later and I won't go into the calculations but according to Rashi yaakov and asev are 63 years old 123. because they were born when yitzraek was 60. now this is a little funny though because if you think about this seems to be describing I'm about to die and I have to bless my sons before I die now wound up living 180 years so this is many many many years death it's like thinks he's dying okay it's like thinks he's dying because he doesn't he doesn't know yet he didn't read to her yet he doesn't know he's going to live 180 years wants to give a blessing and he wants to give a blessing to asab his oldest son and you know the story that Rifka gets a hold of this dresses up yaakov in the hairy goatskins which feel like Ace of's arms and it winds up that the blessing that yitra wanted to give to asaph he winds up giving to yaakov and then Ace of shows up with the food that he was hunting and he says I'm ready for the bracha Abba and your success I already gave it away it says is there nothing left for me so he gives him another bracha you know you'll live by your sword not not so great so this is actually one of the most perplexing stories in the entire Torah and every single year we read it and every single year we talk about it and next year we're going to talk about it too because it's one of those things that you can't really get your head around totally I will say one thing you know people often discuss uh how do we know the Taurus from God maybe maybe people wrote it right how do you know the tourism of God so I'll tell you to me one of the strong proofs that the Torah is from God is that if we wrote Our Own Story there's a lot of stuff we wouldn't put in uh I mean the I mean basically the hummus is telling me the whole foundation of the Jewish people was based on the deception that yaakov perpetrated on his brother asaph gee is it Ace of that's the bad guy I mean invasive is upset you know he has plenty of reasons to be upset so to me that's proof that cover comes from God because we would not have written the story that way so there are a lot of questions here but let's take a few questions one at a time question one why did Yitzhak wanna bless ASAP did you suck think now he says yitzek was blind that's true did Yitzhak think that ASA was a bigger Sadiq than yaakov so the Fortune have a few of him say yeah was full Ace of used to ask technical very you know mockmeyer questions how do you take mice there from Salt and from water you don't have to do but uh was by the way very meticulous and honoring his father and some want to say that because the it's like experienced the Arcada he was connected to a Heavenly realm he didn't understand duplicity hypocrisy lying he didn't understand the notion of two-faced where a person looks righteous and it's not in fact the state statement that Rashi means that yes was blinded by the tears that the Angels shed at the time of the akeda is understood allegorically to mean the Holiness he reached made him blind to the sordid realities of the world so shot number one is it's like what's fooled he thought asaph was more righteous but there are two textual cautious on that interpretation that would indicate that it's not correct because you'll recall when yaakov dresses up as asaph and comes to yitzrak and mentioned sashab's name Hashem asks him how did you get back so quickly from hunting and uh Jakob says oh Hashem made the animal come to me so when yitzra says the voice is the voice of yaakov but the hands are the hands of asaph so the way Rashi interprets it it doesn't mean the voice per se but the manner of speech because ASAP never refers to Hashem and yaakov refers to Hashem so wait a second so that means Yitzhak knows that yaakov uses the name of Hashem so he knows Jacob is the righteous one yeah that's one Kasha on the notion that yitzek was fooled another country is that right before this whole scene of the Broncos his mentions that yet that Ace of married Canaanite women and the ishmael's daughters and this was a source of bitterness he saw that ASAP had said so because of this it's difficult to imagine that yitzrak actually thought that ASA was greater than yaakov so what the malbim says is the following idea certainly it was the case that Yitzhak knew that yaakov was the Sadiq and certainly yitzrak understood that yaakov would be the founder of a Jewish Nation that would bring Holiness into the world but Yitzhak is for church because she does love his son the other son asaph he wants to do something for his son he wants to find a way in which Asaf can participate in the Holy work of yaakov and in a sense if the original mistake in their youth was trying to raise asaph to be like yaakov wants to fix that and that's why refresh and the malibin point out let's look at the blessing that the it's gave yaakov that he had intended to give ASAP meaning what did Yitzhak intend to give asaph the bracha is a bracha about kashmir's physicality may God give you Metallica from the Dew of the heavens from the fat of the land May Nations be subservient to you when other nations bow down to you will have Mastery over your brethren the malibim and refresh point out these were the bracos of Allah envisioned something similar to what later in his own yaakov's own children became the suckers of women partnership what was that idea was learning Torah zavola and was engaged in Commerce but savolin used his resources to support you saw her and in that ways the bullet has a share in isaka's learning plan was I will give Eric Israel to my son Asa he will build the cities he will make the Farms he will raise the Army he will create the political systems he will negotiate with all different countries and he will create the wrecker he will create the atmosphere where yaakov can learn and service him in other words never intended to give the spiritual blessings through ACE of he intended to give eighth of the material blessings to create a soccer is a woman partnership now let me show you how this is so madoic later when yaakov's life is being threatened by asaph so both yitzrak and Rifka send yaakov to go to Karen in order to find a wife now at this point yet knows he's talking to Yakov when he knows he's talking to yadav he gives a Yakov that says I give to you the blessings of avraham that Hashem blessed are from to be a nation devoted to Hashem that's the masora that's the tradition of the others so here is what the Melbourne says the bracha of being a Hampshire a continuation of avram was always intended to go to Yakov but Yitzhak wanted the physical blessing to go to asaph and that would be good for ASA because that would give Asa a way of participating in the work of yaakov and it's good for yaakov because it Frees yaakov from all of the distractions all of the politics right to run a country you know you can't really be that spiritual you know from our religious parties in the knesses and the like how difficult it is to remain in the world of politics so that's a really nice specimen meaning he knew I used to have had this problem so what's Rifkin now rifk is negating Rifka does understand deception much better than that much better than yet lived she grew up in a house of liars Rifka knew much better than yet that appearances can be very very deceiving and the tragedy essentially is that Rifka understood that yitzrak has a very legitimate plan but it's too little too late had yet done this 50 years before it might have worked another rejective could have been directed in those positive channels but right now a Serv is so far away that if you give him this bracha he's not going to use it for yaakov he's going to use it to destroy yaakov and therefore we have to give the bracha of Kashmir the Brach Israel we have to give it to yaakov we can't give it away asaph will just use it to harm the future of Israel and not to build them up but there's still a lot of questions and that is why didn't Rifka tell her husband that I mean they don't talk I mean let's compare and again this is interesting let's compare avram and Sarah because they had a somewhat of a similar problem good son bad son I'm from Missouri how do you smile so Sarah goes over to her husband and says Ishmael is a bad destructive influence in this home we have to take dramatic action avram didn't want to do it this is his son in fact it actually is a very tragic scene Ivan didn't want to do it but Hashem said your wife is right whatever sorry says you better do so Sarah saw a problem she confronted her husband she stated her position and you remind me of marriage counseling lessons here she stated her position there was debates then the question he needed a tiebreaker so they could call on Hashem to break the tie now rivka is confronting the same same problem basically good son bad son and the broccoli is going to go to the one who doesn't deserve it and the brook is going to go to the person that's going to destroy everything why doesn't she just tell her husband why engage in deception so one response actually is this is actually very fascinating from a marriage Dynamic standpoint then it suggests that drifka's relationship to yitzrak was very different than service relationship to Abraham Sarah and avram were kind of equal in other Ages were not so different 10 years actually but you know but uh Sarah stood around started Sarah was very proactive she and avram were kind of equal power cup says Rifka was in awe of Yitzhak there was a certain awe in which he did not always feel free to communicate directly part of it is of course if you go with the Ghazal that she entered the home at the age of three so essentially technically it's like it's her husband but in a sense it's almost like he'd suck as her father but besides the age difference as I mentioned Yitzhak had a certain we don't even understand it a certain other worldly aura was not really in this world there was a certain Holiness that was lamala from normal human interactions so she couldn't approach him directly and then it says it then sip says she couldn't approach her husband directly in the way that Sarah approached Abra but rehearse gives another twist to it and that is the following part of why Yitzhak again this is all going with the approach that just like knows Jacob was the bigger Sonic right he knows that but part of why he wants to give Eric Israel Society so to speak to Ace of his number one he wants asaph to have been the benefit of in the Holiness of yaakov but number two he's afraid that Yakov cannot live in the physical world the physical world is full of deception and yaakov is a man of Truth and a man of Ms and that's going to destroy him so Rifka needs to show that even yaakov knows deception even yaakov is capable of deception and if he's capable of deception he's capable of being protected against it so it's a way of communicating to yitzra that some of your fears are not valid yaakov too knows how to play the game and if yaakov knows how to play the game he's not going to be victimized by The Game and therefore let him have it and that's why I get to agree because otherwise you have a question if Yitzhak blessed the wrong person then when Asif shows up he should have just said oh I'm giving you the brother understood now that the breakfast belong to Yakov now there is one final point I want to make about this and that is yep yaakov deserved the brachos and yaakov was given the brachos and the bracos of Eric Israel go to Yahoo but let's remember that this is not without a cause there's an old saying I actually think it's from the Christian Bible but if you live by the sword you die by the sword that wait the comment it's a common thing and that is the following the measures points out that because of the deception that yaakov caused ASAP yaakov the rest of yaakov's life he will be victimized by deception 20 years he's in loveland's house well the first deception was he worked seven years to marry he gets Leia and when he complains to love him Lovin says you're my brother what are you complaining and Rocky points out we're brothers in deception you know how to cheat I know how to cheat we're a team and love and even becomes self-righteous he says uh in our place we don't give the older the the younger daughter before the older I don't know where you come from maybe the younger people take over but we have you know a higher standard of morality that's the hypocrisy of love so we have the switching of the wives and then we have the business manipulations of the cattle right the deal that Jacob was supposed to get certain cattle and all sorts of deals are made cheating a hundred times and then of course the great tragedy of Yosef that is torn away from yaakov for 22 years by yaakov's own children telling him that he was killed by a wild animal the Metro says because of the deception he perpetrated against asaph he becomes a victim of that deception and many hundreds of years later at the time of the poem story when Haman decrees that all of the Jewish people have to be wiped out and Mordechai hears this so it says in mcgillus Esther umara he cried a loud and bitter cry because I'll point out in the age before computers that does exact words he cried aloud and bitter cried I appear one other place in Tanakh when asaph comes back in fact you have to feel for Asif and he's not a joke I mean he comes the bitterness of his cry the destruction of his helps there's actually something very powerful in the way the Torah describes that anguish and because I'll say because yaakov made ASAP cry a bitter and Loud cry a descendant of asaph causes grandson was a Malik and hermanus mamalek so Haman a descendant of Asia makes a descendant of yaakov Mordechai have that same pain the pain that we cause others even when it's Justified let's assume Jacob was justified he did the right thing under those circumstances but the same way when you put your hands in a fire you're going to get burnt even if you're saving a baby you did the right thing but you hurt somebody or you put your hands in fire causing pain to others is playing with fire there's always going to be a cost so you see how nuanced and how layered the Torah is on one hand the Torah is presenting a narrative to justify what yaakov did and at the same time telling you there's gonna be a cost when you hurt people there's gonna be a cost and you don't have a Hatcher so to speak oh I did it for a good reason this is a Law of Spiritual nature so this is an approach in this in this Parsha and again it reminds us as well that sometimes people humiliate others or disparage others and they Comfort themselves by saying oh I acted the same shamayam maybe so but just remember that does not immunize you from the consequences of your actions so thank you for coming I want to wish you all the wonderful Shabbos and holy stove and we'll see you miss Hashem next week thank you [Music]