Pursuing Kindness and Truth Shaarei Teshuva 1:46-48 with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] everybody back to the shari truvahbora we're using this safer it's a great book if you don't have it buy it it's not the only one out there but this is one highly recommended and um i just want to mention before we actually begin uh for shalem of israel to shaman are learning we will um affect the heavens and there should be refusal lame we're praying and davening hard for rabbi um rabbi pinto haraf pinto his name is yashiyao yoshi yahoo yosef ben zakri and also um a very dear friend of ours a new friend of the family his name is jonathan ben iris so all these people have refused name of the talk shock holy israel amongst all the jewish people and amongst all the people of the world who are ill tonight now today morning wherever you are when you're listening to this i know the people online i don't even know where you are you're all over hashem uh we're still in char alef no surprise there but we are in paragraph 46 bizrat 47 and even a bigger with the help of god we will get to 48 which is quite short but 47 as long as somebody had noticed so let's begin i just want to make a little bit of a not a preface introduction but a reminder that the last few paragraphs we were talking about the very important idea before you do the doi before you approach hashem and confess as part of the chuva process there are some baby steps maybe they're large steps that have to be done first and that is we already mentioned regret of course but in terms of any type of rectification that is not only internal but external as well if you affected another human being it's necessary let's call it a prerequisite at least the way we're going to look at it and have looked at it and we'll continue to look at it as a prerequisite to appeasing hashem not that hashem needs appeasing in favor but that we talk kavyakov and we're going to talk about that again tonight in a little bit okay so what we do is we there's one particular verse that we used in last week's part in last week's class and we should just become familiar with it again it would be in psalms 51 6 because we will be quoting several other verses in chapter 51 of psalms this is king david's famous psalm of his true process of his repentance for the sin involving now surrounding bashar against you alone have i sinned and i have done what is evil in your sight in order that you be justified in your conduct and right in your judgment so the last part is translating the hebrew from hebrew tisket very important we heard those words before we're going to hear them again but let's start with chat paragraph 46 knowing that phrase al hadaric so there is different approaches to that you'll have to listen to last week's class according there are several different explanations according to the first approach the rabbi said regarding that verse is a analogous to a doctor now imagine the doctor coming in what kind of bedside manners is this wow that's really really bad i mean i guess to a certain extent if you were on the receiving end you might think i ain't going to make it like this is not good but the doctor really gives it to you and he says what a terrible wound this is how can i the doctor how can i possibly heal it what is the patient's response what would you respond now this is amazing you when you say hey you're just an instrument of god i'm here we're testing the instrument of god of course you can do it you just have to work hard figure it out listen to what he says hello i share who katie why this is the very reason i was struck with such a severe wound lojai zoski liv avoir why was i hit so hard it was specifically so that your exceptional medical skill can be revealed you're told hashem work it out unbelievable and this is the exact reason why i came so you can demonstrate your abilities and heal me i'll just read his words so that you should have the opportunity to demonstrate its power by healing the wound this is what king david actually is anticipating that hashem might tell him that his sin was too great to be forgiven but no so he said i succumb to this terrible sin in order the word this is one of the explanations in order that what in order that the extent of your charity your kindness hashem by forgiving me should be revealed to the world by forgiving me now we discussed last week like for example um the person in the desert collecting the sticks was we called it we called it sinning the shame shaman now we don't suggest doing this but apparently he did it he collected the sticks knowing the penalty was death but not knowing which death penalty it was he felt that it should be revealed to the jewish people so that they would really consider shabbos as sacred in other words he did it for the sake of the jewish people he did it for the sake of clarity he did it for the sake of truth he did something that in the end he was killed for but nevertheless he did it for clarification purposes for something good and we said last week that it was as if dovid did the same thing although we kind of backtracked and explained it's not that he did it initially for that reason but retroactively once he realized he sinned and this is an opportunity to teach people about truva take full advantage and let the world know this is what happened even says i have sinned right so he admitted to something he confessed but it was for the sake of like the shame shaman so in the same way he wants people to know how forgiving hashem is you may feel i have i am so bad i am beyond reproach i mean beyond repair there's no um hope wrong right hashem loves you now it's going to be very important that one should not think they can get away with anything we'll talk about this idea a vatran is someone who forgoes we're going to talk about this i just want to mention it now that one should not think oh god so forgive me i can do whatever i want okay it's very important not to go in that direction but king david nevertheless okay david he wanted us to know how precious this relationship with god is how it can be repaired and hashem does forgive but there's work there's there's work so he said um so we're we're not in we're still in the shah but later on in the fourth gate the fourth chapter fourth chapter we'll eventually get to it so now we're on the 17th principle paragraph 47 is now beginning a new idea it says um right the 17th principle it's lyrdov lyrdov is to chase after just like we have said the teddy we have to chase after righteousness we have to chase after what the ms one should and what does this have to do with children we'll find out one should chase like seek after make every effort for actions of which is acts of kindness and truth there's going to be a reason why if you go to proverbs chapter 16 verse 6. aren't we looking for this the verse says with loving kindness and truth right this i've talked to many ex-christians right and they're whoa i never saw that verse i didn't understand that it's amazing you're talking about the torah itself right when i say the time tanakh itself says with acts of love and kindness and with learning torah that's truth with both with acts of loving kindness and learning torah iniquity iniquity will be expiated that's the translation here atoned for cleared away covered over expunged you name it so that's the verse that is being brought down there's also a second part of the verse we're not going to deal with right now that's going to be dealt with later but i'll just tell you what it is in case i didn't read it and that is and through fear of the lord turn away from evil okay we're not going to deal with that right now but that's the rest of the verse i'll just read it in hebrew right through the fear of proper healthy awesome recognition of hashem turn away from evil okay there is a interesting comment and i do want to read it because on yom kippur of course we do um the video is the confession so the lengthy of robino ribenu nissengon which many people read on aerith yom kippur and brings down an idea that's expressed in the midrash so i'll just read it's like three lines but this is this is what we should have with us all year round when i do find time to read it on error of yom kippur i say to myself why don't i read this every single day the truth is if you can incorporate it into your life it'll be it's invaluable right there's no price you can put on it imagine having these feelings master of the universe crying out to hashem we're not for our errors if it wasn't for our mistakes and our willful sins even the sins we had intention to we would not be ashamed and embarrassed for what would what could we confess for it is impossible for someone to beg mercy for a sin that he did not commit and the power of your mercy could not be known unless you overlook the sins of those who revere you so keep in mind this was david king david who had this in mind to let people know we make mistakes but that's only going to propel us through the trooper process which is a life-saving right i mean we're talking about an intimate relationship with god imagine if someone didn't sin at all okay never made mistakes and never even thought of let's say charging his relationship renewing his relationship excelling at the relationship look we know that arunachalene he he saw the other princes bring korbanot and he had this her gusher he had this feeling i also want that you don't have to sin to get there but you have to want that okay so imagine we're not all it's a deakin and if we're aware of our shortcomings we can use that to propel us in that relationship um just another idea that yes we already know in this verse right that it says listen every jew anyway is obligated not just jew non-jew as well is obligated truth be told incessant and in emes so what's the big deal here he mentions every jew is already obligated to perform and is amidst incumbent upon everyone so too a jew is obligated to adhere to the truth and avoid falsehood so what is different here the difference here is the pentaton individual has to go out of his way run towards pursue kindness and truth to a greater extent than anybody else meaning those great siddiqui like aaron and cohen you have to be greater you have to make a greater effort that's what he says to a greater extent than others in order for the chuva to become complete right we soil the relationship and we need to do something so keep this in mind because hashem is all forgiving provided we do what we need to do okay there has to be a pursuing and that's going to be like you know very important okay it's very important that we just don't think oh yeah just believe and everything is like okay it is okay but you have work the auto and now hit bonane basod hamik razeh we need to really get into the literal meaning of these verses you know if the sinner doesn't do anything to return to hashem his sin will not be forgiven just by performing so don't think just because you do has it in truth it could be maybe for the very latest mitzvahs you know a guy like arnold cohen if he got you know i don't know if he released in but let's just say you know we're human beings so you didn't do anything serious it could be it could be just doing casanovas will have a major effect right but we wanted we wanted to have a major i'm sorry minor effect we wanted to have a major effect so there's a verse in the deuteronomy chapter 10 verse 17. now it's true that a regular judge is already warned right in last week's marsha right a judge should not favor people nor should he take bribes but this verse is about hashem who of course is a judge baruch right he is he's the true judge so let's look at i don't know if i mentioned in proverbs chapter 10 verse 2 just to hear the whole verse it says charity will save from death okay you know what that's out of we'll get to it in deuteronomy chapter 10 verse 17 for the lord your god for the lord your god is god of god and the lord of lords and he doesn't take bribes so what is this all about in other words think about it oh i want to do truva so i'm going to go and do and sign up with your banana and do some tested projects right or i'm going to sign up to do some catching problems i'm going to run across the street and this way i'll be forgiven it doesn't work like that right it's not tit-for-tat it's like oh i'll do another mitzvah another nice kind act and that'll wipe away i said it doesn't work like that you still have to do chuva okay this is going to be the most important thing hashem is not taking bribes there's work on your part you have to do the truva and i'm looking at three is important we'll talk about that a second uh shows the chronological and the rabbis explained this right that this verse is telling you god will not just take one mitzvah and take it as payment against other sins now it just reminds me because the and i again i i don't like doing this but there's in christianity and maybe that's why the reform movement what they call the protestant movement started up there was a lot of corruption a lot of corruption i'm gonna say it again there's like no end to the corruption but dispensation that is that the word i'm not even sure if that's the word but it seems like that's the word people used to pay money for their sins and not only for their past sins you can even pay upfront apparently okay there's nothing to do judaism because god is not a god that will take a bribe okay you understand this point um so this is part of the corruption of the church of course many people have let krishna that's christianity because of corruption but this is very important so i want to read this comment even if a righteous person performed many mitzvas and he also committed a transgression hashem will not say let one of these mitzvahs let's say for example giving charity cancel out this transgression rather he will punish the person he said sadiq he's got like 99 mitzvahs one transgression he thinks i'll just do another mitzvah and not erase the transgression now he will punish the person for his transgression the one transgression and will reward him for all his misses the other 99 you can't just add another mitzvah and then it wipes out the transgression it doesn't work like that this must be the meaning of the verse for there's no other form of a bribe that can even be spoken about when we talk about hashem so this is this is obviously shot is what it's talking about thus the performing without doing truva will not gain a person atonement even though the verse says with love and kindness and truth will iniquity be ex expiated that's with chuba with proper truth very important point here now let's go on vodamru the the sages further explain is someone who makes themselves small and allows other people to trample on him let's just you know in a you know you have two stubborn people going head to head and one of them says you know what okay you win okay forget it i i'll let you take it right like to allow water to run off your back you know there's a lot of ways to try to explain it but i have the gemara so we will use the words that the gemara uses i did the best i can to explain it but if someone says anybody who says god is a vatran he'll submit he'll overlook transgression basically means overlook okay he'll overlook the transgression his own life will be overlooked in other words measure for measure now let's go to gomorrah baba kama 50a it's um short so let me just stick with it anyone who states that the holy one blessed be he is forgiving of transgressions forgiving in a vatron sense just willing to look the other way his life will be relinquished hashem will look the other way and we know from a verse in deuteronomy chapter 32 verse 4 the rock his work is perfect for all his ways are justice you can't slide by right god is a god of justice all of his ways are just in other words do not god does not waive heavenly justice he's not going to do that rabbi khanna says and some say it was rabbi shmoop nakhmani what is the meaning we have another verse hashem hashem ellicott if you look it up in exodus 34 verse 6. so longsuffering god is patient erich now the word of pain is plural ape is my face a pie in his face but it's long suffering okay long face long suffering also means anger but okay using the plural form it is not written erich in a singular why in order to teach you that he is long-suffering meaning he's very patient for both the righteous and the wicked and does not punish them immediately for their transgressions hashem allows us they say in english he gives us enough rope to hang ourselves but that's a negative he gives us enough enough time to do chuba really you know we talked about this before about first generation second generation how maybe he doesn't punish the father now but he'll punish the sun if the sun continues because he gives us time to do truva right we don't get oh you do a sin and lightning comes out of the sky you know he is patient he loves us and he's willing to take the time for us to wake up smell the coffee okay all right so now we go on [Music] indeed the truth is that hashem is benevolent very loving and patient towards sinners and he's slow to anger just like he's slow to sinners slow to anger his percentage is also slow to anger for the righteous and he patiently awaits them to repent but if they do not obey him he will meet out at the payment of their actions into their bosom now there's another verse well we actually read it already this is what king solomon went meant when he said with kindness or let's say and truth the the sin will be expiated this is regarding about through who how about the sugar regarding someone who had who's in the process of doing shuva the bear that's what it's talking about so as we said the verse the whole verse was through kindness and truth sin will be forgiven is referring to someone with the truth and that means by actually practicing kindness and truth in addition to the actual repentance you have to do to the then the sin will be forgiven now there are additional practices that are necessary that explain the function of kindness in the context of doing sugar derose right again in the fourth chapter we'll discuss this further but just know we discussed this before some sins you can just do true before some it's not enough and you have to go through a yom kippur the 24 hour 25 hour period of the holiness and the forgiveness of that day has to go through your system and only then we're talking about as we go on more severe sins and there are some that you surrender more pains suffering right you have to suffer some sometimes for the more severe sins you actually have to now the suffering could be varied right it could be very extreme painful it could be hashem's mercy a small amount of suffering and there's some sins that only death will help atone for keeping that in mind he says oh let me just clarify something about this is a famous expression i can only say in the name of rabbi kessen he's the one who said it right hashem set up a system it's very simple you have misses god gave you gave us the manual the instruction manual for living it's called the torah outright the best path for life is to follow the torah right it's a no-brainer right well guess what we're human beings we're flesh and blood yes we make some mistakes along the way so there's plan b and that's called truva repentance and we can fix those mistakes for not keeping the torah perfectly okay that works but he also knows we're flesh and blood and we're not all going to do true but this is the there's 20 steps here even though originally we said there's only three but the verbation is helping break it down into let's say bite-sized pieces and we want to do truva on a mojadra a hydrogen level right and really do it right so he broke it down to for us not everyone is going to do full chuva right i'm not going to do it completely maybe so then there's your serene your thorium is suffering and that cleanses us that is part of the process because we're all going to end up with hashem we're all going to end up in the same place you know okay how we get there that's up to you right to the mixes plan b the um truva plan c usually even death part of death is usuri okay now the next idea is as we just mentioned that there are certain severe transgressions for which chuva and yom kippur it just merely suspends the punishment it just holds the punishment right because god is is um patient yes and he'll hold it off and there are that only usurim perhaps god forbid but afflictions are working but will help purge the sin completely now it's true that performing can also protect and shield the sinner and protect him from other usurim from other let's say harsher afflictions but guess what it could even rescue you from death because that is part of the surim and we have this that's where michelle chapter 10 verse 2 comes in where it says charity will save from death yes charity can save from death so there's a few important things i want to mention here number six since a person committed a sin that is punishable with either cars or execution right cars is a heavenly type of execution a cutting off from the jewish people or a physical execution in this world until his truth is accepted he's under the threat of death at the hands of heaven charity as well as well as other acts of hesit can rescue a person from death and surely right because you saw him or less than death surely from affliction as well by giving charity to or otherwise helping a person in desperate need one gives that person life remember measure for measure so you are giving was if someone is poor it's like they're dead no seriously this is a very difficult concept to come around to but there's like the life force is missing and it's like they're dead and therefore when you give them charity you're giving them life so god will give you life in return measure for measure in return the giver is granted life now i do want to mention well there's a lot more to talk about but i want to mention this uh gamora in shabbos 156b maybe i'll just say it out loud and not read it to you but um we're talking the demora is talking about is there um astrology are they are the jews under the zodiac or are we beyond the zodiac so certain astrologers had approached rabbi kiva and told him that one day his daughter gets married she's going to be bitten by a snake and die okay we don't believe that but nevertheless what happened she was getting dressed whatever happens happens right then she took a broach i guess it's a pin and she stuck it in the wall and she didn't think twice about it the next morning she woke up and realized there's a snake hanging from the wall from she stabbed the snake and the snake is dead and everyone saw wow what a miracle that snake was a killer snake a very poisonous venomous snake and they could have done you in your wedding day whatever and so rabbi kim asked her my daughter what did you do to me to merit this miracle and she said you know when someone came to the door everyone's so busy taking care of me nobody at time i went and answered the door and i gave some sadaka i get some charity he says this is it see charity saves from death now he'll make this verse this is as we said it's king solomon but charity stands for death and that's what the gomorrah discusses over there okay but again it's chuva chuva chuva without the truth it's not the same vod that's like the one of the worst sins that we have and it's called a desecration of god okay and number seven let's see hashem is generally described as any sin that causes others to also sin or that denigrates the honor of the torah it's not so simple that it's exactly kaloshem but it's like a okay so let's take that seriously if you cause other people to sin or if you denigrate the torah it is an act of achilles the ultimate hashem is denying you're jewish or denying god as god right any one of the three major sins doing it when you're told for example if you're putting a corner and say look i'm going to kill you some terrorist or some crazy person says i'm going to kill you unless you bow down to that item so by dying it's called the kiddush hashem obviously performing what they want you to do is called the coalition so that's like the paradigm examples [Music] what happens is that even chuva and yom kippur and even yasuri even pains and difficulties all that's happening is they're going to be suspended the only thing that helps purge this in is death itself now as my students know i talk about being born again and i don't mean in christian sense i mean in the real sense when someone does truva they really are shedding an old life you can transform yourself into a new human being in fact every single day we're given a new chance another chance and if you grab it you're like a tino chinola dummy which is a convert a convert has a status of a newborn child that's a halachic status so too a balchuva to a certain extent has a very similar status as a convert right their old life is their whole life not even the same human being not the same person so there is this aspect of i'm going to call it death and being reborn so because how else can you do chuba from hashem you can you can and used to pursue used to mamish go out of your way to become a new person like if okay they mentioned like if someone was not careful about nida right so then learn the laws of need and teach other women teach the harassment how to have family purity give money to create a mikvah in your neighborhood right start a campaign whatever it is for shalom bias whatever it is there's there's things one can do but you have to get up off your turrets right and make every effort beyond what a normal person would you're not normal i mean you're beyond you're in a good sense you're about shuver you have a special status okay so it's let's say it's transcendental right you're a glimmering star on this planet as a balchuva as a convert as someone who takes their truevas seriously whatever sin was done go beyond try to do something to make a correction in this world and let's see there's a verse in isaiah chapter 22 14. what does it say in 2214 did i copy it down yeah and it was revealed in my eyes the lord of hosts i therefore swear that this iniquity will not be atoned for you until you die oh well does that make any sense person dies so let's see that's the verse the sin will never be atoned for you until you die i want to read number eight for a second um uh later on in chapter four he's going to explain why the sinner must die in order to receive his atonement we're going to skip right now to where we're at here he named when this person is making every effort and to support the way of truth right to go out of your way to learn torah to support torah the azor aharavi it odaid bidvarav he facilitates the acceptance of truth and reinforces this message so he's teaching right or right doing everything you can to get the the the message out we're talking about king david he sinned and he wanted everyone to know how great chuba is so that as a result of what efforts you have in your chuva process it its light shines forth before the eyes of all the fellows of your community of the jewish nation and guides them it just reminds me of the 12-step program we spoke about i think it was the 12th step right going out and sharing this message with others this helps the addict the whoever is reading the process of recovery well guess what rabbi twersky unbelievable right recovery and and repentance it they got it from us right the 12 steps seem to work guess what they got it from us okay it's all in the torah this is something that obviously someone who was an addict and is no longer acting in the same way we call them a about true though whatever level right this in a certain let's say very uh narrow sense but it shouldn't be narrow right the whole life is changed if they're doing it properly so you go out and you want the light to shine before the eyes of your fellow members of the community the the the nasu roshan and in addition you strengthen the hands of the men of truth by praising them so that they can lift their heads with pride because they're teaching torah and you're following the torah you're an example of that it works while the groups that follow falsehoods right those false religions are the false and people what they call peddling shack air politically or whatever it is that lowers them to the ground and brings them down to the dirt to the dust this is how you make a ketu in other words if god forbid someone did it with desecration you have to turn it around and bring out the sanctification of god's name you have to work hard at doing the opposite i think there's a good number eleven to look at later on in chart three rebellion will speak at the great length about how praising the ways of the righteous and denigrating the ways of the wicked is critical to kids hashem thus he says here that one must not only support and publicize the way of truth but also uplift those who follow the path and belittle those who oppose it okay um did i read the whole thing now let's go on either dark through these ways the kiddush hashem his glory and majesty for the concepts of faith in hashem and serving him are brought into the world by doing kids hashem like i said if someone wasn't careful neither they could teach they can get support the teachers that do teach and you can give money to the mikvah things like that vote for ferris bumiktas toronto and its continuation these ideas the might and splendor are brought into the sanctuary of history therefore by performing many actions many mitzvahs in order to sanctify the name of hashem by working to reinforce the truth to set its firm's foundation and to support it that one could receive this atonement now in this world you don't wait for the death you can already atone your you receive your atonement now for that horrible sin of hilo hashem provided you combined it with chuba the guilt of hashem so the measure of his truva corresponds to the measure that you strayed everything is measured for measure okay okay so roberto yonah concludes zeb viewer this is very clear now with kindness and truth the sin will be expediated will be forgiven but it's only with truva true is such an important part now we are vazranth hashem it's a very short paragraph we'll go into 48. hashmona asar the 18th principle is hayot khatto now this is like you'll see this proves to be positive but it sounds like who wants to walk around with their the recognition of their sins all the time in front of them but that's what it sounds like right to be conscious of one's sins at all times knowing knowing that you're ready to true the knowing that you already did and worked so hard right to change your life and never to go back that there again we're not talking about confessing over and over again that's not what we're talking about we're talking about being conscious of the fact that you've done chuba as well let's see ki roy le nefesh liz cor it's actually necessary for that balchuva for the person who repented to just be aware of the fact that he had sin now let me read his this requirement of truth because it's proper for the sinful soul to always remember its transgressions do not forget them even after many days and years have passed will be vavveau and within his heart lo yah luthor khalifa don't let them depart from your heart until the time comes for you to depart from this world there's a verse in psalms 51 5. remember 51 chapter 51 is king david's king david's um psalm of truth he himself says if king david said it it's got to be good right he says i know my sins for i know my transgression and my sin is always before me no come on hit the truth the whole thing is about juva i'll just read the rashi on that since i regret my sin and worry about it it is those constantly before me the very fact that i did true because regret is part of chuva you want to make sure you don't do it again don't feel bad right you've already gone through the regret past tense but knowing how far you've come knowing that you are putting guards you're not going to transgress again you're not going to do it again it doesn't mean you're wallowing in your your pity not at all right i know we talk about this many bots they feel hopeless and helpless no once you've done chuva and you know you've done true but you've gone through all the actions and you're continuing why is he continuing the why is she continuingly every year giving money to the mikvah she did juve for not keeping neither but she wants to make sure right so she's going to keep that strength going this is such an elevating experience to maybe host a fundraiser for the mikvah right like one level to the next i mean there's there's not enough we can do hashem is so good to us he's so kind to us we can never pay him back right so that we can only keep figuring out being creative thinking of more ways that we can serve hashem with more gusto and more you know energy he gave us a brain let's use it there has a buyer bashar the e but he says we'll elaborate more on this in in the fourth in the fourth chapter so that's where we'll end today because hashem will pick this up uh next week for sure we're on the following week i'm not sure because it's here in jerusalem it's three days purim is three days so um we're talking about thursday night friday right we have the mitzvah of reading the magilla like everyone else in the world and then shabbos is really purim so at least in our prayers but the before she can bring down the the commentators bring down the the post can bring now that one should still increase and have a little bit of a meal do what they do but in the prayers that's the main thing and then sunday we have our sudha where this is only jerusalem maybe there's other cities in the world that were walled from the time of yeshua none maybe out of a suffolk whatever out of a doubt so we so that that following sunday is um for us so anyway next week we meet the following week we probably will not meet we'll just have to come together after that so i'm gonna turn off the camera and we'll take questions from [Music] is