NEW SERIES (Part 6) In-depth Analysis of the Mitzva of Tzitzit with Rabbi Aryeh Grossnass

[Music] You see your tomorrow [Music] walking the Hashem, we are here at the beginning at the beginning of a siren and we're about to learn Torah. There's nothing more gishmack and there's no bigger kadeshm than sitting and learning in the midst of a war. Now, this is a war. It's a quite a serious war. Somebody was telling me today that imagine we were going for a minute. It's like the lack of security that a bomb can come through the window. They they have nothing to hold on to. They have nothing to hold on. They don't have any sense of they don't have any sense of we can dav Hashem. Hashem's our father. He He controls every single till, every single rocket. He's going to make sure he goes to the right place. They have any sense of that. Imagine the the sense of panic they must be feeling in a war. We we have who speaks out that there's and hashem has a address for every rocket and it will not go anywhere except for where he wants. There's a gar which says someone has a headache you should learn to actually goes through a whole list of things. If you have a pain here I haven't seen inside. Somebody told me it's I'm going to believe him. He says I've had a headache and I learned and it didn't go away. What does the Quran mean? What's what's the meaning of this? says, "You have a headache. What are you going to do? You going to go to bed?" Hey, a toss and turn. Yeah, sometimes going to bed helps. Lots of times it doesn't. You wake up with a in a worse mood. No, sometimes it does. Don't get me wrong. Stomach is the same thing, by the way. Stomach is the same thing. Says, "If you anyway got a headache, you might as well go learn to where you going to lose out." So the art people it's a time of war okay don't go to work don't go to learn just freeze freeze it's paralyzed I said you're paralyzed and they get really scared you could just learn from the co mistakes making lockdowns and everything the amount of people who suffered from mental health physical health from being stuck at home for so long of course within reason you have to you know you have to be careful and follow the the the basic guidelines which are given not to be stupid but to freeze all day always through all the wars Eden carried on as Rab Poston said the show must go on but I want to say that it's it's it's the next stage it's not just that we've got nothing else to do so let's learn that's that's not you know we're bored we could play chess so we can learn so we're learning so we're sadik It's a little bit more than that. The nephe at the beginning of his safer speaks out the power of a ye the extreme power of a ye and he says every time a ye does a mitzvah he's he's changing things up in sham we have a without sh with the mitzvah we were given we can change things it's amazing we can we bring down with a same thing happens you bring kil kulum you bring destructive powers down the quot something it's just it's very very powerful to hear we know the mdish got destroyed and the simple way of understanding it is yes misbehaved the gummor discusses why it got destroyed but quotes a medish and the medish says like this. Look in source number one. Source number one. Yeah, I changed my mind. I do it often. Um, he quotes a long medus. I don't want to go into it. The med starts off in source number five, but I don't want to go through it inside. Now at the time of the then they said to the this Russia tit the who came to to to destroy the base of mikdosh different times they're going to say you see I destroyed the base of mikdosh yeah the the the going to say I destroyed the base of mikdosh isn't isn't that isn't that andem turned around and said a line. This line goes like this. This is in source number one and big you say that you can fight with me. If from shmayim it wasn't sent you have killed a dead lion. You have you are grounding ground flour. You are burning something that is burned. You're burning a beauty that is burnt. A a city that is burnt. says the med titus doesn't have a k to burn the base of mikdash titus doesn't have a kak to destroy the b mikdash he is destroying a destroyed building he gives it through mashim it's like grounding ground wheat what you're doing you're doing absolutely nothing cuz it's ground doesn't become fine and there's a certain level it will get to and there's nothing you can do about that if you shoot an animal which is dead you shoot a dead lion doesn't become more geted it just stays dead. What does this mean? This means like this is trying to bring out his point that when a ye does a mitzvah when a ye does learns he gives it gives in for whatever we need for whatever we have it takes away something that we need something that we have so they did a they didn't deserve the B mikdash anymore. The B mikdash in Shayim was gone. Titus only has a kayak to take down the B mikdash because the B mikdash was not there in Sham. The Kak to keep the B mikdash. The spiritual B mikdash was gone. And therefore Tetus could come along and burn it. But Tetus doesn't have a K to burn the B mikdash. He has no K whatsoever to burn the B mikdash. If there's no shim, if we're not to it, if we don't have the mitzvah which give us the merit for it, we don't then tas can destroy it. Nothing can be destroyed. Nothing could be could be created without our mitzvah and filler. Right? So this this this gives us an understanding that no rocket can have a k unless the decides it should have a k. No pilot can be shot down unless unless gives them a k. Where does it where do we get the kus to stop a rocket fall? Where do we get the kus to stop a pilot being shot down? from learning Tyra, from doing mitzvah, from davening. That's what gives us the k mikdash can only be destroyed if it was already destroyed. You cannot destroy a b mikdash which has which has sh. So if we learn and we dav and we do mitzvah properly, it gives us a kus. So let's this is why it's an amazing kdish hashem that we're here today giving a sh when there's a sire because this is what saves us because you have to follow the guidel [Music] it's just the sources he's just quoting the sources which he he made these notes I don't think so I think the nephe quotes lots of different quotes um you want to read it you want to know what he's talking about. So he just quoted one bit um which said so it brings the whole metric okay let's start discussing some hilus last year we discussed the different stages of creating sitsus let's go back there I asked my friend to get me wool unfortunately he hasn't managed so you know the next time you see a sheep will come wool wool from a sheep machine. Yeah, there's a process. Take a piece of wool. It's dirty, right? Sheep. They're not very clean. It's got all different garbage. It's It's rough. And they used to comb it to get all the garbage out. Impurities. Impurities. They used to comb it. Following that, I guess they cleaned it. You guess you got to have it clean. If you wanted to get it into a thread, it's all soft and everything, they had to kind of pull it. That's called, right? So, the first stage is nippets. Nippets is combing to get all the garbage out. And then there's with you end up with a thread, not just fluff, a thread. Now, for titis, there's an extra ding called shazira. You take a thread and another thread and you put them together. If you look at your titsus, you'll notice that there's more than one put together, right? That's what you see. It's called shazer. It's been shaz. Um after that, you have your tits ready to go inside your bag. Okay. Shaz the Rambam holds you only need you should do it for the mitzv by nothing else all other say no you need to all the way through that means and then you have a begged let's take a begged see if we can get it out slap it up here's your beard right so you got your hole So what you need to do is you need to put your tits through the hole. So you take a thread four fourin four threads you put it through that putting it through is making the titus. Now we're starting to create the tits hanging it on the garment. And then what do you do? You need to make a knot. It's the next stage. After that one one round one ring that's all that's needed and then another kashir that is tits the rest what we do is do our bon very nice things but mida that's all we need to do okay so starts with nipp which according to most most most you do not need lash so we're going to leave that it's a it's a nice thing to have lash for that Okay. That means you're doing it for no other reason except for the mitzvah of not for style, not cuz you're bored. Following that is shaz when you wrap them together. I think we do four and it's different in hogam how you do shazer but it has to be more than one right you take two put it around together you end up with something like this. This is a very thick synthesis. After that you need to do ta. You put it through the hole. You make a knot. You make one round. You make another knot. And hey presto, you ended up with a pair of tits. Right? We do more than that, but that is the main thing you need lash for. Okay, that is the basics of having forus. We got a little bit into can you use a machine for lashma right meaning to have it you need to need should be you right otherwise what does it you I'm doing this and then you give it to someone else to do right of course that's not the mitz cuz he's doing it so if I make get a machine to do it I can say I'm doing this but then machine's doing it so what does it make a difference what you say no one really cares what you say cuz the machine did it not So could you do a machine? No. What do we think? Is a machine okay or not okay? You already know that you eat machine. Machine matzah. I eat machine matzah. We know that matzah has to be made lash. Matzah must be made lash. But I along with uh there's quite min mostly don't have. Yeah, thank you. mostly do not have mash first night. I do along with lots of other goritz from gates gates [Music] used to have there's a lot of problems. So how can you get away with it? So I asked this turb gurvitz the rashiva of gates said and I said to him how is it possible to eat machine mats on the first night when you need lashar and he said to me like this there's a garra that says if somebody has a huge body of water and it's held with a dam and he picks up the dam and what happens all the water goes flying out and it goes and ruins a whole load of fields are you or are you potter right what do you do there. It's grammar. No, you couldn't. Nothing could have happened if you didn't do it. Nothing could have happened if you didn't do it. What do you mean? If you didn't understand, it wouldn't have happened. Grammar lots of times is if you didn't do it, it wouldn't have happened. Okay, that's right. But there is a concept which Robert Poston is saying which is called grammar. Grammar means that you caused it. It wasn't like a for sure, you caused it. Indirect direct, right? It's a person say it's indirect. You think it's direct? It's a [Music] English. True. It's a it's a it's a it's a optical illusion. Why say optical illusion? Because it's not indirect. It's direct. If you if you it doesn't matter how many gears or how many ropes and pulleys you have. If you if it couldn't have happened without you, it's all you. Oh, look look look I I'm going to I'm going to argue with you on one point and that is sometimes grammar happens even uh with without you it wouldn't have happened but because you did it it's going to happen and you're not you're putter so then that has to be measured if it's measured then uh then if it has to be measured there's such a thing as measuring example if I take a tiny uh dental string and I hang a kum kum from the roof and then I say everybody Please be careful. Excuse me. You You'll meet people in life that are like that by you know that like they'll they'll put like their bike in the middle of the entrance and they'll say, "What do you want? I'm trying to sleep here." You know, something like that. You know, and they're like, "It's your fault." You know, so it's like I Okay. Okay. I hear what you're saying. It's miserable. A person wants to tell his grammar lisa. It's not. Why is it not? What? Yeah. He wants a tiny more than that. The water is is pressed against the dam. It's pressed against the dam. By you pulling it up, you are causing not even causing you are making it's your kayak. It's what we call kerition. You are making it go into hashem. You are making it go into the fields. It's the dam the whole time that's stopping it the entire time. by you taking away that's enough called your says if you press the button it's true that what's happening what damages the field after he pulled the dam is not him but we say it's yours because it was pushing against the dam and you pulled it off even though it's it's happening 5 minutes later think about it yeah you're in the countryside and there it's on top of a mountain it's on top of a hill and you pulled out this dam even though 5 minutes later it's trickling ling down and ruin the guy's field. It's all you. You're all you initiated it, right? So, we consider it all yours. So, you're saying there's a difference. If you have a D, which means you're opening a valve when there's water pressed against the wall? What about when you open it when it's not pressed against? That that will probably be Christian. If it's not pressed against the wall and it could and could not fall out then the rain comes and it's not withheld that's I I would think that that's not that also I don't know I don't yeah I can think yeah you're for sure not question is where where exactly is that also goes into like later into AI and stuff where you have presets and all these sort of things and are you blamed for something but at the end of the day if that the programming whatever the line code says what they want as much But yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that's what Grovit says. 5 minutes later, it's all the way down in the valley and it's ruining the guy's vineyard. It's me. What did I do? What did I do? Says the Gmorra. Because you pulled it away. Even though it's it's 5 minutes later has no you're already sleeping. Doesn't make a difference cuz you pulled it away. It's your it remains you. So it says it so too if you press a button of a machine and it's gone for hours for hours it's it's put it's needing I don't know what exactly a machine mount it does it's all considered you but it's a big heated debate cuz at the end of the day the guy 5 miles downream could say what did you do about your dam what did you do about your property lines what about the neighbor this guy that guy that the water came maybe you know if you would have done it it should have been expected that you should have been able to hold with that that height or whatever it is. But because you know there's there's there's there's a lot of of tightness and it's it's been spoken about a lot a lot a lot. We're just bringing it in to understand why sitsas in any of the good I don't believe they have machines and that is because they've worked out very good systems how to do it by hand. Um hopefully we're going to go to a factory if they're still open in the war. Sure they are. um business as usual and they there's pictures of it. I don't want to ruin it for you. I don't want to ruin it. So, it's basically they have a big wheel and you have this guy going like this. Shame it shites and he's turning the wheel. By him turning the wheel turns a different wheel, turns a different wheel and it's doing it's strengthening it or it's doing shazira all with one wheel just going around. Amazing. Yeah. I've got a question for you. What happens if you're turning the wheel? This guy's going like this. Turning the wheel. Alicia's a question for you. Turn the wheel. And then you got this. You do it on the bike sometimes. Push it really hard and then you leave go for a minute cuz you want to scratch your hair. That's right. Yeah. M like that. Hang on a second. When it carries on going, is it still you? How does it start? M Carell says that. Listen says even if you leave go and it carries on going, it's still your it's moving because of your that's you know cuz we're probably going to see that in the factory. So that's that's fine. Okay, that is we make tits. Go on. What you saying? No, I'm not saying okay. Is that a what is the significance of that? Of what? Spinning and spinning and spinning so fast that the thing could run for 5 seconds. 6 seconds. Well, he just wants a break. That's all. 40 seconds, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes. When at what point does it become you? At what point does it become It always will stay you cuz it's moving because of you. You can't say that. What happens if it can still run for like one of those like what do you call those science experiments that like it has like the the the I saw one. It has like a funnel and it comes down and then it curves so that the water either goes back or the balls come flying back and go again. I'll be honest, I don't I don't know. You understand what I'm describing to you? You're you're basically saying if you start something that can carry him for let's say an hour, can that still be considered yours? I I don't really understand the scenario properly how how it's set up. It sounds like it should it sounds like it should still be yours. And it and it has like the tracks and it rolls down. It's at a certain height and it just like it comes up and it shoot it shoots back into the the the bowl and it has the funnel and it goes back and it sound it sounds like it'll still be his cl cuz he started it. He let it go. That's what I would think. Okay. Okay. I want to discuss now if ladies can make sitsus. Touched up. We touched upon it. What is the significance? There was a time by October 7 when it was very very in fashion for everybody to wear tits. I don't know if it's still in fashion, but um and they they couldn't get them out quick enough. Were ladies making tits? Were they they were so for the and the people who were making it had only they were making for they were allowing the women. Oh that's very interesting. Yeah. This where a person says that when they made the for the when they're making for the soldiers they let women or even Ashkanazi women. No even Ashkanazi women. Yeah. Make it style. They were making for theim. They were making for the but the Ashka they couldn't they weren't making for the Ashkanaz. What's the problem with women? Oh, this is what we're going to see. Why should any equality, right? Isn't it right? Why why are they any different about the whole social aspect? They were being lenient when there was a great need even for the Ashazi. We had stock at least right away for this. Yeah. Okay. So, let's have a look at source number two. H. It's in the Gammorra. One, two, three, four, five, six lines up in the Gumarra. So, on the right is Tismas. On the left is the Gamarra. Shuna Run. Yeah, it's probably a place ra the son of ra from says have you got it that was written. Yeah. It was either by a min someone who's a what's mean not sure what it means here to be honest could mean a I'm not sure I don't there's no rashy I didn't bring print the rashi let's see if rashi says that it's not in gith so it won't be in it um a servant ish a lady the cotton anus the yol m or yrol who is a mama Who is does Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that Yeah, that's a balm. Yeah. Yeah. Very similar. So if any of these wrote wrote wrote it's going to be a possle you should put it onto and you should write it says the whoever has the mitzvah of writing it whoever doesn't have the mitzvah of doesn't have the mitzah The Gomorra learns that from a Joshua in order to write in order to write a safer to write you have to have the mitzvah of putting on the if you don't have the mitzvah to put on fillin you cannot write it. Okay. So that tells us by fillin this is a posin we asked the question by titus. So we know a lady can't write. That's okay. What about tits? Let's have a look at this is on the right side right at the top from here says aim a lady cannot tie a lulus and she cannot make because she doesn't have a says we see from this p that if you have from this dasha if you have the mitzvah, you can make it. If you don't have the mitzvah, you can't make it. So, ladies cannot make sites. Ladies cannot make it's all a sudden it's gone to all the mitzvah. It seems like it's it's a it's a broad concept this it's not by it's not only by where we've learned it from. It's also by Titus. It's also by Suk. It's also by Lulov says in it does not seem so he's arguing about says how often do you get to learn to in the time of war? Get involved. I'm going to do something very cheeky and say a little story here. It was in the first world war was a song called the big I think it was it was the first world war somewhere in Eastern Europe I don't know exactly I think it was on the Ukrainian broader and there was a rule at night you were not allowed to have any lights on why because the the planes used to go flying low looking for lights wherever there's a light that means it's civilization so you weren't allowed any lights on was upload burning and of course he covered the windows and everything and it must have been that one of the blinds got pushed aside somehow and the soldiers who were patrolling was punishable by death. Means you're a spy. If you leave a light on it means you're giving the enemy away. So if you get caught that's it bullet through your head. So he was busy learning schmack narama and the door bursts open and they find him learning with a candle there. They pick him up and they start taking to the door. I'm going to kill you. Look, you left the window open. He says, "Give me one minute. Give me one minute." He says, "What? Give me one minute." I'm in the middle of a ram. I don't know ra Let me finish off the ram and then you can kill me. just let me finish off the ram. In the middle of a war, he was so into his learning. Let me finish off the ram. The story carries on. So they said, "Okay, you'll finish the ram." Say no. They made sure that the the curtain was closed and no one could see. And he starts learning the ram and he getting old. He's trying to work. And then the commander came. He said, "Guys, let's taxi outside. We have to go right now." They left him. He left King was the tlic. So middle of middle of a war toy let's get involved. So Tyus started off with Raben what does Rabut say that just like we learn by fillin that if a lady who doesn't have the mitzvah she doesn't need to put it on she can't write it. Somebody who's not in the mitzvah cannot make it. So she can't and she can't make senses turns around says it doesn't seem so why from the fact that we ple we make a beginning of [Music] [Applause] it says B is talking to B is and the Gar there learns out B is not can't make says the M you see from that I isha is kasha I isha can make tits only a guy do we learn out they can't but we don't say a lady can't so says to cannot be correct brings another that a lady who makes a suka from Nami sukas gambach gambach stands for noshim I know what's bass don't remember is it kash it's kasha what's what's base um goshim races Okay. So this is this Joshua is only by right and he has a he has a ray because we have a Joshua which says double bene form and the gammor are only bene are not ladies. So let's recap two First is when it says would seem to imply that also women don't have to wear isn't that last two lines. No. So he says that's make but we didn't make that. Yeah. But it doesn't say not ladies. The doesn't say not ladies. Women doesn't say it says but is we learned and yed means not go. It doesn't mean not not ladies. But then you would have the same thing with follow that same path. Yeah. It's not in the same it doesn't doesn't say it doesn't mention doesn't mention all we learn out from whoever has the mitzvah can make it that's what we learn out okay two says ladies cannot make any mitzvah which are not that's what it sounds like and then we have another which is who says what what it says leave it by there's Dasha that says go can't make senses. It doesn't say ladies can't make senses. Okay. Okay. There is another shitta. I don't think we should do it inside. The other is that when it says den it says ben ben means ben. So even though it doesn't say it in the the Gomorrah it says double ben is speak to the ben is the children ben the sons of isra it says the sons of isra doesn't says b doesn't say the daughters so ladies cannot make sus that's the third it's maram brought over here in source number four um yeah it's okay and and anytime he says that anytime the word bene is not referring to Jewish people but he's referring to the men of Israel so this is Uh this is a very good question when it says Ben is it only referring to men whenever it says it. It's a good question gets busy with it. Um it's it's spoken about anywhere in Jewish literature when using the term Israel. Does it only mean does it mean the Jewish people or does it only mean men of Israel? That is a very good question. It's spoken about but I don't want to get into it. It's a it's a schmoo for itself. It's a it's a it's a big topic and we're not going to get into it. Okay. So, we have three Three Now, I want to give you a interesting scenario which I came across. How long ago was it? Maybe a year ago. Longer than a year ago. Now, um I had operation on my shoulder. I used to get dislocated very often. So for 4 weeks I had to have my arm it was held like this and I couldn't use it at all. Couldn't put on my fill in. So at the beginning when I was still very uh much in pain and I wasn't going out and I asked my wife to help me to put on fillin. She wasn't very good at it because she's never put on fillain before but she was very nice and she used to help me put on fillin. Could she do that? You helping you put on your own so she pulls it over here and she puts the filling on me. Is that okay? Sure she can. What do you think, Lawrence? Just tying them. What do you say? She's tying them. She's just tying them. She's just tying them. She's just tying them. Yeah. Oh, okay. Let's have a look in source number four. Let's have a look in source number four. four lines down in middle of the line. So, right which a lady is not could go in like she cannot tie the second and she cannot um prepare the You're implying that it has ritual significance 100% because we have so of course it's got significance says there have been a time he has a this time we've saw before the whoever has a mitzvah of putting on has a mitzvah of but if you don't have the mitz of you don't know there was a story in a place called this is where the rash was born Yeah. Yes. Interesting. Isa with a lady. She was rogel. She used to fix tits and make tits likeis and she used to make the gadim. She used to do do the things. She was the tits maker. You bought titsus and you have the strings. You wanted someone to do it. You gave it to this lady and she made it. Raben raan said the pusle stood up. I'm sure he said the what this lady's doing from this which we saw before in says the there was a story with a lady. She was married to shares and she used to tie the villain on his hand as the girls is how can you tell me if a lady isn't in the in the mitzvah she can't do it she can't prepare it we see this story they used to help her husband put on the so it means that that God's moment is understanding that if you're not in the mitzvah, you can't put it on. That's what it says over there. So, my wife putting on my for me, I don't know how correct it was. We're going to have to see says that God's no she wasn't tying it. She was helping him. the actual tie the the last pull that made it tight. He must have done it. But she she helped a bit. But to do the actual tying, not that couldn't be. Why? Because she's not in the midst. She can't do it. Different. It's not forbidden for a lady to do only preparation. Means preparing it. Um making it. Ah I see. Yeah. Yeah. preparing the object. I see here like writing preparing and tying the before you do the forz she's allowed to do it. Okay. He says this is the end of the these are golden words the din would be the same with doing the let's think for a second we need to think for a second we've said that it's questionable if ladies can make what about that means when we have ta when you're putting it in the pegged. That's making the tits. You put it through, you make the knot, you do the the the you put it around once, and you do another knot. That's making tits. What about when I'm doing is that called making tits? Was that like before I put it on a garment? What about this is tits? Nothing yet. To sites, I'm taking wool and I'm making it into a thread. Now I'm saying because I know what the end result is. But is that called making tas? Am I making tas when I'm making a thread? It's not only it can't it is it could be used for this multi-purpose. It could be multi-purpose but I'm saying it's titas. I'm saying this for tits but but that's not I'm not making the tits. Now am I creating the tits? Now go says that even though we're learning out that a lady cannot make tits, she can still do spinning the titas that she's allowed to do. Why? Because that's not really part of making tits. Let's recap and discuss. We have three. One is a lady cannot do any mitzvah which is not that means al that means titas that means fillin all across the board. Why? Because we have a special Joshin and we learn that out to everywhere. So says Rabin. We have the next which says what that's only said by fillin leave it by fillin ISA learns out means only are not going not going. It doesn't say not ladies. So he says of course ladies can make tits. This is a lot a lot of restraint. uh we saw inas we saw in it's a lot of and then we have a third that he doesn't say that that what we see back to fillin if you not in the mitzvah you can't make it he doesn't say that he says there's another special it says b is means the boys the men and it doesn't mean the ladies which means according to that rish can can you make a lulf can a lady prepare the lulaf of course you cuz he's not learning it like which is like whenever you don't you're not you can't make it three seems to say let's read it out I didn't print it this is in simle is which makes it possible. So speak to come to exclude a lady is cautious to make it. This is the the one that the go after says the are those that they say that you need men to do it and it's good to do this. So I guess that's why they let for the apparently when they were doing the when they making the for the let ladies do it for the Ashkanazim they said better I passed it was my place to pass. Mhm. They asked me, I said, I personally would say to all the women coming, let the men put the strings through the hole, let them tie the first knot and then then it's all right. Let the women continue. That's great. They said like we just said here that the the the boss is is make the the revol was was not here. Oh, this is what they said. And I I I'm I'm afraid I'm embarrassed to say this on film, but I saw it myself. There were 80% of the volunteers were women. And the few men that showed up, their figures were so uh what's the word? Inept. It took them, let's say, two times as long, three times as long, maybe even four times as long to make a pairus. And they needed a rush. So they took all the I'm going to call them coolers, but whatever. All the different they didn't listen to me. And they just had the women do it because of the the situation situation. So then they turned it into a and they just had the women. Interesting. What do you think about why? Well, what do you think? So for the and I would think it's okay. It sounds like it's okay from the I didn't I didn't look into it especially for but um it's it is written that even for Ashkanaz it's okay. Yeah. So if you tell them for for Ashkanazim if the if a man starts off and he puts it through and does the first and the first ring around and the second and it's fine. Yeah. Thank you very much. Heat. Heat. [Music] Oh my