Yiboneh Beit Midrash Presents Rabbi Aryeh Grossnass "Part #3 Jewish Perspective on Drinking"

[Music] okay okay I'm going to start with a question the question goes like this there's many many many mitzvas in the T there's many difficult mites in the Torah there's many easy mites in the Torah what is the most difficult mitvah in the straight up for you okay anyone else the toughest mitzvah honoring a parents keeping shabos uh what else have we got T tons yeah probably the most difficult Mitzvah maybe one that we might think is one of the Easter MIT there we go I know what it is I go know is you're going to say to be happy the whole time be happy the the Von the Von the very famous vagon says that the hardest Mitzvah is to be happy on the three festivals maybe even rash there's a Mitzvah so there's a special Mitzvah to be happy not the whole time which might just y just ytu if I may uh if I may I don't know maybe this is a little bit controversial we say it anyway get shot afterwards um is everyone knows the song right in Israel everywhere you go you got these these these uh bu right that's that's how the song goes this is says this that is the First Source for this Mitzvah the in we find you should have a lot of when you do a mitzvah that's what we find before came along and he saw that the generation was you know they weren't serving asem properly there was there was it was there was there was something missing that's when start was very different movements started then and lots of people believe and makes a lot of sense that we're here because of the they revived they gave energy to where you know just learning TOA wasn't hitting all people right lots of so people can learn to it's a great thing but some people found it harder so they weren't so connected so came along as he got guys into yish through that way some some other had like a different Niche how to get people into it but um in the tah we find there's a Mitzvah to be happy on yam now hopefully at the end of the sh we're going to have possibly a couple of reasons why did the Von the Von never said it's not clear why he said it's the hardest SM if you ask me to be happy I just crying have a bagel with some smoked salmon with with locks you know it makes me happy I'll be happy after I'll be smiling for a while like what's so hard about being happy for 7 days you know and with wine and and meat rega rega wine and meat is is there din to have wine and meat what with what do we get happy it's just hard to be happy constantly 24/7 great I think we be helped a lot if we've got meat and the wine and it's a y it should be easy it should flow with it but no it's still it's still a my say I think we need to define happiness whether it's being satisfied or whether it's something chemical or just a drop not the whole time obviously but anything you want to Define quickly so we can then put that in aha aha so this was the topic I was hoping to avoid what is happiness what is happiness you got to M you have to forgive me I said this was the topic this was the topic that I was hoping to avoid what is happiness to define happiness we sort of know but I just we sort of know right we sort of know um I guess we can say what it isn't it's easy to say what happen us isn't it's not thrill it's not like um a passing you know people get very excited go to theme parks remember as a kid go to theme park and there's nothing like we got a Brit here okay yeah Alton Towers th park right there's there's some of these famous rides in England yeah and you get to the top of of you know there's Oblivion it's a great ride okay if you ever in England go to Alon Towers okay I think is it Oblivion I think it's called Oblivion it takes you to the top and then it puts you on this tip you you're very very high up and it stops there so you're facing a hole in the ground but very very far down I don't know how many meters I think it's hundreds I don't know if it's hundreds but it's very far at least when I was a kid they look like that and you're looking into a hole with steam coming up and then it drops just drops and you you you go flying down that that second that thrill that energy right that's what isn't that's not happiness I never forget that thrill I'm you know a few times right you go around you cure up for another hour um coming down and the Mist comes into your face and you go underground you come out the top Rush a rush Adrenaline Rush people love it people love it that's not that's not happiness to say What happiness is is it's I I can't say it it's the absence of the opposite I think that's fair enough people would then understand the opposite of sadness it's something uplifted and hopefulness it's a combination disposition that combines a number of things and psychologists and social scientists can right right well well the truth is we're all going to Define we are going to Define somewhat What happiness is because go more rides also sorry we be going on more rides maybe maybe okay so says it's the most difficult mitzah AR here is saying the reason must be because for seven days to be happy it's crazy you heard is saying just take some meat and wine you know you sort it out let's get to the sources let's work out where the Mitzvah started where it ended um be happy for the right reasons I would say without having seen the sources maybe happy but for the right reasons and something can be last okay we have a second shot here Judah right that's your name still nothing changed um Judah is saying aat that maybe the Villard said this the toughest Mitzvah to be happy for the right reasons yeah yeah lovely lovely jubly let's see I just realized the big thing is when you have to that's the big thing there sorry bit slow slow all right so you heard to saying another another if you have to be happy be happy you ever tried to go to sleep when you have to go to sleep you have a meeting the next day and you have to be there so you need to get some sleep you you can't fall as sleep then right you have to do anything okay let's start from the sources number one this is in darim um it's a which is talking about y you should be happy in front of your son your daughter your servants your which are in your gates in your area neighborhood and the the the the mock him in the place where has chosen for his name to rest I mean where hashem's where the is okay this is the P it's inim you should be happy you your son your daughter your maid servant the people around you the aw people who are less fortunate okay so be happy what with what with the POs doesn't say there's another which is later on which says schlam him this is talking not about y you should Slaughter schlam him you should offer up a schlam him it's a type of carbon you should eat it there which is talking about in I don't think it's talking about I don't remember exactly and you should be happy in front of hasem so two both them talking about happiness one is talking about Y and one is talking about it's following the Claus of har a and it says you should bring up a carbon and you should be happy so the rambam says that from the fact that we see it says Happiness by a carbon when it says happiness when it says Happiness by Y what does it mean bring up a carbon and eat the meat this is what the r says this is it's taken from the gumar of course so in the times of the B says the I'll quote it I did not put it on the source sheet apologies the which is said that is you should offer up a a type of on top of your other you bring is it a commandment is a like a cause like that to response you will be happy not necessarily or the I mean I know that the in the Torah like you have different different ways I was think as I was reading it you will be happy not you have to be you shall be happy it's a good question it's a good question said says it even sounds like it will happen by itself like a cause yeah result result yeah it's a very good it's a very good point you're bringing up I don't know I don't know why why why would it be said like that cuz we definitely we definitely take on what we're going to see in the gar in the the we're bringing here that's a Mitzvah it's not something it's not optional if you want to be happy it's it's at time this is a mix what want to be happy you're saying the lotion of the P the way it's put down is is is is different for that don't know I don't know it's a good question it's a great question okay so we brought the r in which tells us that what it means is to bring an extra carbon and that is your okay I would like to go now to Source number five Source number five is a garim the garim discusses the Mitzvah of and what we haven't discussed is it's very nice in the times when we had the bik in the times when we had the temple all those days the good days which they're long gone unfortunately so you could bring a carbon and Y you're done you eat the meat and that's your midst of what do we do in Ouray the gar is going to discuss it let's have a look at the gar this is the very first line tonon that tough race is for tonon a person that's obligated to make happy his children and his household wow thear is opening our eyes it doesn't say you should be happy you should make other people happy make your household happy that's that's a new one okay we're going to come back to that sha says you should be happy on the here we say is a festivals what with what should you make them happy you got a whole load of people around your table how do you make them happy should you hire a comedian yes yes says Mr comedian right the gar ask with what should you make them happy says the gar with wine we're back to Wine again okay with wine says men with what they get happy and ladies with what they get happy ladies do not generally there if you want to say let's have a good time say okay let's have a glass of wine it's not usually how it goes you know I want to go shopping they got all sorts of uh different ideas to us bles what uh what makes them happy they TI differently so says the gamar you can't it's not a one one cure for all just wine men with what is befitting for them and ladies with what makes them happy men which is what is befitting for them for them it's wine for what do ladies get happy with says the gar says b in B which is uh where was B exactly rert Poston you know was bble exactly it's a highly Iraq I think I think it was somewhere there I don't know I'm not great at these types of things exactly where there's books and books written about this but bille in bville which was where the gamor was written to bavy babylonin with nice clothes colored clothes that's what makes them happy bar to St but if the fashion is different don't get them big d own him you come home with the wrong thing well what are you doing I sent you out for but VI if you come with VI you're out of fashion what what's what's the trend in n v pishon with clothes of flax M motson um I think it means irons right good I think in AIT as well pred pressed America you say pressed that's that's what you say you also say iron yeah okay all fine I think the sh say in B they didn't iron their stuff you know but you don't to be caught dead walking out with a dress which is not IR you know so you want to make them happy you got to get iron clothes fine let's carry on so so far men you make them happy with wine says thear ladies with what's in fashion get them clothed that in fashion let's carry on the what else says b man when we had the the temple was around there was no when it says in the it did not mean it only meant with meat this is the we brought you should Slaughter you should offer up you should eat it so when the Bas make this around it was with meat meat which we explained means bringing a carbon and eating the meat now that there's no there's only with wine says wine makes the the gladdens the heart of a man a lovely word gladdens the the heart of a man okay so I think it's it's quite clear from this gar that there's two different times which we had in clol one was when we had the bik when we had the bik how did we do it we did it with this carbon which was the carbon schlim and they ate the meat and with in our days after the temple after the men with what is befitting for them ladies which is what what is befitting for them what what works for men Ying that's wine and for ladies get them clothes that are in fashion but used to be me nowed me that's who said wine yeah me in those days yeah it was only the carbon there's a big uh there's a bigus if they were obligated in eating meat in those days or not and there's also the line a simp but probably comes from a different Source where does this Source this is really coming from this here only say he only says yeah that's true was there wine along with the schlim like a to same way but I don't know but then it was on the no only I think so yeah I don't I don't know from one thing I helpes the the Marone he said that's what all the meat would taste like in the B that was it's a rem all everything taste like so that I can imagine was pleasure so that's not around okay okay so you're saying it was really good meat it was yeah something special okay which we don't have nowadays there another reason to want the Bas me I'm smiling okay so let's let's let's recap b m Das at the moment all we see is Bosa meat the meat of the carbon and then in our days after the B mikdash the Mitzvah is with wine ladies with what's per fitting for them okay okay what's what what's in fashion don't give me a dress from 25 years AG it's quite clear because quite C amazing amazing it has to make them happy if you get them a dress that doesn't make them Happ I don't know give it back you is expensive has to be the right unless they just like spend money after know you know um I think the entire family they had to be they had to be pure had to be pure there's a whole discussion what happens if they weren't pure they happen to be not pure they touch something you bring on on itself maybe carbon a so this is the interesting thing it has to be on top something extra this carbon has to be something extra yeah um maybe if you had leftover from the PES I don't know yeah but it has to be something extra definitely extra than the every y you brought a carbon R says has be extra to that fine let's have a look at source number three Source number three is the ramam the ramam is going to discuss a little bit more in detail how we do this let's start with for the seven days of P coming very soon and the eight days of with the rest of the Assuming he's meaning it's AA to make a hes I think it's called e eulogy in English English my English is you know not like a foreigner with my English these are the words we're waiting for a person is obligated to be happy good hearted how do we explain that you could see one of the guys in the to who him and his children and his his wife grandchildren and whoever's there whoever's part of that situ you should another which we didn't bring this is everyone knows the song you should be happy on your holid days let's have a look how he is going to yeah then he goes on let's he goes back even though the is as we discussed like I told you before the ra which we quoted in including in that that he should be happy his children whoever's there each person befitting for him now the ram is going to go even more in detail into what is befitting Kate said how do we do this okay so we have to get a picture in our mind you have a person and he's got a y of table how is he going to make people happy Kate said how do we do itan the little children he gives them clothes mdon he gives them nuts gives them little toys and those days they didn't have fish a price and various other uh Toy products what did they play with nuts Stones you know football for the Americans here soccer it's a big discussion how it came around but there was always Sterns around so you never actually needed the ball to play soccer you make two you know gopers so olden day toys is how you make the children happy ladies get them clothes and nice jewelry according to how much money you have and the men they eat they eat meat and they drink wine this is what you said there's no except for meat and there's no except for fine okay this is basically what we've seen in more detail now perhaps we are going to understand a little bit better why the vulon said it's a difficult up until now it sounds like paradise for 7 Days sit down and get good food you e and eat it all you can eat right sit down and eat what's what's the issue what was the Von struggling with now is where things are going to take a turn says the when you eat and you drink you are obligated to feed to the G Le to the orphan and to the Widow with the other poor people a somebody a but me someone he locks the door of his Courtyard and he eats and drinks him who him his children and his wife and he doesn't feed or drink to people who are bitter when we say poor people we just it's an it's an example for people who are bitter for people who aren't so happy a this is a very very sharp line from the r this is not a happiness of a mitzvah it's the happiness of C his stomach this is cool you just want your tummy to be full you just want to you know walk around ah what a good meal that's not mitvah this is the first time which we've seen we read the should be happy in front of hem no mention Mitzvah ra puts in mitzvah this is this putting a whole new Twist on everything if you do it just yourself and you don't include people who are needy people who need to be made happy that's that's just called filling your stomach H okay R goes on now let's bring the rambam this is number six Source number six ra explains a little bit more gives us a bit more of an idea of what he means when he says when a person eats and drinks he's happy with don't get drawn after wine overation with light headedness and and jokes not really jokes jokes are good yeah like uh what's a good way to explain this post you have to home frivolity I don't know what frivolity means but he says it's a good frivol right that's great I need to spend time learning the Oxford dictionary it's terrible um anyone who carries on carries on with frivolity that's how we say it I'm trusting you it's on camera you know don't say it wrong but Y and you s call me sh whoever carries on with this frivolity I'm doing a Mitzvah so a guy comes in he sees a bunch of guys they're drinking wine they're eating meat and they they're being lightheaded they're you know it's it's not a respectable um situation lack of serious and lack of seriousness winess right something like that and you say what are you doing he says what do you mean the Raam told me it's a Mitzvah he says don't say that this is a Mitzvah the guys are going to say whoever carries on with this he's doing more don't say that sorry someone who is drunk getting drunk lots of Li heartedness you know yeah that is not called Happiness ra is touching on a little bit of happiness that's not happiness H for H don't have good words for These Foolish foolishness yeah H yeah is foolishness it's that's that's not happiness weren't commanded to do foolishness these are the words we're waiting for what what type of Happiness were we were we told to do on S happiness which has in it serving y serving the Creator so take somebody like the vagon the Von knows how to serve Hashem he's professional at it okay he is very good at serving Hashem and then we come to yam and Hashem says drink wine eat meat be happy we know what it's like after a meal you know just finished bagels and a good meal you feel relaxed feel happy you know there's the there's a measure you know like centimeter meter foot all different types of measurements in by by the measurements of the Torah there's also there's a am there's a these are different measurements and there's a few different types of is usually a fist yeah that's how big a is adult an adult's fist I got a small fist oh with that yeah I don't know exactly what is I don't know if it's with that without right oh with the children with do there's two types of a laughing sad what's a you open your hands a little bit that's a laughing one cuz if somebody laughs and someone's happy he's he's open he's open in not only in a physical way in an emotional way person's person's open someone's wants wants to get get something out of a business meeting you someone wants something of someone else right you want to talk someone into something what's the first thing you do give him a good meal give him a good meal at the end of a good meal that's when you put give over your pitch you're businessman you know what I'm talking about you're sa if you haven't done it do it you're satiated you're satiated that is when you're open you're happy like you know in the olden days when they when they finished the meal you to unhook the top of their trousers I know this from my grandfather he told us about it it's like a certain sense you're laughing right you doing now days you get kicked out kicked out the restaurant you open you you know but that's how they did in the olden days it's like a certain sense I've had my food I'm satisfied satisfied now what do you do with that satisfaction what do you do with it happiness can be a vehicle to take you somewhere that mood that place where you've gotten to with your meat and your wine and your on your your sud can take you somewhere says the ra can take you to to to being stupid to foolishness you're calm you're relaxed you don't have the The Daily Grind it's not on your head you you don't have your regular schedule you have time to just sit right we're meant to make a sud on say so says the ram don't don't don't go left don't go left don't use it for nothing it's use it for use it to serve hem use it for something higher take this to the next level like the he knows that serve hasem that's when it all that's when he kicked in that's when it all kicked in a way to explain this is yaku he had his benzak his favorite son so to speak how we can talk about the others you know it's hard to talk about it but the way it's put over by the is he loved y who was from ra love the most look like ra YF goes missing not for one year not for 2 years for 22 years and the Tor tells us he never got happy afterwards he never got happy he never got comforted he never got comforted after he went the fact that he was missing Y and after 22 years he he hears that he's alive goes down to M can you imagine the excitement of a father meeting his son after 22 years of missing him and he meets him he gives him a hug and says says Rashi what did he do when he hugged him sh he said sh you saying sh you just met your son you haven't met for 22 years and know say say I love you y it's so good to see you I don't know what would what would someone doing such a in a different situation but unfortunately we've seen the terrible terrible situation of the hostages right and they're coming back imagine the parents the siblings the friends to see to see someone who's been through such a thing like that you know what do they say it's the pictures and videos that go around people are desperate to see cuz such a moment is so full of emotion it's so full it's like whoa let's sh all the hostages to come back very soon so you haveu after 22 years seeing y he's gone to M you know it's a little bit of the same it's right I don't know how nice they were to he went he was in jail for years he took the emotion he took the emotion he took the love the love a father has for a son and he used that fash can you imagine 22 years of missing a son we say what's the first thing we say in we love Hashem we you should love Hashem with your whole heart your whole soul and all your money that's POS something like that says says the that y channeled this this moment this buildup of love and just outpouring of emotion shift it use it so now we understand a little bit more the V when he finished his his his his meat and wine he started working he started working we're not going to go through it but the T brings the and he says when the pious people the people who were very holy when they got happy he said they started praising hem when they happy they blessed they sang Praises they said praises the one to make them happy that is what he did with it so to summarize the mitvah the Mitzvah of have meat have wine the ladies for what they for what they have so clothes couldn't tell how much money you have can't get clothes buy them new pair of shoes and you know jewelry whatever it is children get them get them uh get them toys remember growing up we always got new books for y always got new books for y yeah so after the meal we all thought about the books it was great simp I usually want to fight um that is the POS in the MIT and be happy be happy for seven days try try not to be sad try try keeping that good mood keep in that good mood you know sometimes something sad happens and you feel sad you feel sad because of you ad mied to be happy special time to be happy and then there's this bonus this bonus that the happiness we're trying to work towards that happiness which we get to try and channel it that's the difficult bit that's the difficult bit it's written I didn't bring this Ram there's another at the end of by the the has got a much more than all the and the ram speaks out there that it's a something like that it's a very hard a it's a very hard to use your for the the how how can you thank hasem how could be happy with his mitz happy with daving happy with with everyone's got their own thing which they can get in touch with with Y with try and use your sim for something higher something more halic but the mitvah is to be with people to give like you said definitely with people it's to make us s you do it by yourself it won work you I guess you could do it it's will be better with people you can do it by yourself of course generally it's talking to a person who has who has a family has a wife and kids so so he has a Mitzvah we didn't disc just us perhaps next week we'll talk about it a little bit more but for some he has a mitzah to make small children happy you don't want threeyear olds they have a MIT they don't have there's nothing for little children what's the it why they say the is if you're happy if you're really happy you can't see another person sad you need to take everyone with you and there whoever says can I have some money you might to give them why it's a MIT of cuz if you're really happy you can't see someone outside so if someone says I need money my neighbor's going through a hard time this person is you can't if you're really happy you'll give him money so that's that's why he has a Mitzvah to make everyone else happy but if he's there by himself person could be happy by himself eat meat drink wine sing a bit learn a bit with him with him a question about it no question about it person can can be happy by himself no question about it [Music] oh n