Women's Shemos Class: "He Turned Here and There" -- The Courage to Embrace Your Truth

There's one source sheet, so please take it. Welcome everybody. Thank you for gracing us this morning. Today's class is dedicated by a few very special people. First of all, it's dedicated in honor of Miriam Klene as a for her family dedicated by laser and Gila Klene with heartfelt gratitude and thanks. [applause] Thank you very very much for all dedicated by Risa Schulman in honor of her parents' wedding anniversary. Edward and Anna Ruven Edward and Anna Ruven Kaya and Karabaska Schulman with heartfelt gratitude for their unending love and care. Thank you very much Maztov. Happy anniversary. Many many more. Also dedicated by Denille and Carol Akaloka for a complete and speedy recovery for her brother Dr. Michael Rim Mayor Lee Ben Barrel. Amen. A complete recovery. And the class is also dedicated by Mandana Mazlev Balur in honor of her new granddaughter Ayala Ayala Kaya. May her family merit to see her raise with health, happiness, serenity, tranquility and abundance and all the blessings. Thank you very very much. I also want to mention that one of the members of our class, one of the pillars of our class, Mrs. Balman has lost her husband and uh she went and I want to on behalf of myself and all of us express our condolences to Mrs. and to the entire family, all of her children. And may your husband's soul always continue to be a source of light and love and empowerment and for you money more happy, healthy, and prosperous years with with nas and abundant blessings. Amen. And we're very, very sorry for the loss. Today we're going to go back to familiar stories. But really all the familiar stories are also unfamiliar stories because the stories have within themselves so many untold layers and dep of depth and dimensions that you can always go back to those stories and revisit. The Tanak says the says about the that meaning its size is longer than the planet earth and its breath is larger than the sea than the ocean which is referring to the fact that just like the water you know you look at the water and you know there's so much I don't know if you know but even today in 2026 there's still probably one or two million species of fish that we don't know about. We haven't gotten to them yet. And that's after thousands of years of research. So there's so many layers of untold depth that you could excavate and excavate and search and always see more because really you're talking about something that's infinite. So when you have an infinite reality, so how much did you get of it? As much as you got, you can always start over again because it's infinite. Now the distance between one to infinity is similar to the distance between 1 billion and infinity. So having one billion dollars I mean it's nice to have a billion dollars. I'm not knocking anybody having a billion dollars. You'll do good things with it. But still the distance to infinity is equal like the distance of one to infinity or zero to infinity. And the same is true with the once said it says. So what does it mean? Literally it's means whole complete. So the said it's complete like nobody ever touched it. Imagine a birthday cake that was brought out and people are nibbling on the cake for three and a half thousand years. I'm saying nibbling. If it was a men's birthday party would be eaten within the first few minutes. But the women they nibble. You know how at all these events like you nibble like this this balabusta sets up this grand grand you know magical display and they come and you eat like a half a grape. You cut a chocolate into eight pieces and uh you nibble. So imagine you're nibbling on this cake for three and a half thousand years. Nobody's going to say that it's untouched. It's not untouched. And the say hashem it's still like untouched. What do you mean it's untouched? Three and a half thousand years it's not untouched. Jews have been pretty busy with it and others. But the answer is because it's infinite. So when you're talking about infinity, right? You could take you could take a dollar, you could take $100. Imagine infinite amount of money. You could take and take and take, but you didn't take anything. You didn't take you didn't deplete it like the oil of Kaneka. So all these stories you come back and you see a whole new a whole new depth. And we want to take some of these stories of parishes and revisit them from a deeper place and see the relevance even today so many years later. how timely, relevant and powerful it is, which is the reason it was recorded in the Torah because the Torah, as we always say, is not just a book of history or stories, but primarily a blueprint for life. As the Z says, the word Tyra doesn't mean law. It comes from the word, which means instruction, guidance. It's like a road map. It's a road map like like is to teach, to direct. So even stories of the past are not stories. They're also stories, but they're really directions. They're blueprints for the journeys that every person needs to navigate throughout life. Which means every story in the Tyra is really an individual story that's happening right now inside my psyche, inside my soul, inside my heart. Parish is the first para, the second book of of of the second book of of of the second where we're introduced to the person who will then be mentioned in every single para besides one Misha Rabenu. Misha is born in Pares and he assumes his role in Pares. He'll be mentioned literally in every portion because he's at the center of it besides one para stats which is a separate story why there's one exclusively one par the whole after mo is born that he's completely deleted from that is quite uh quite fascinating the nay famously says that parab falls out on Zion usually which is the week that passes away so it's pretty fascinating that that's the week his name is not mentioned even though he is mentioned but not with a name you he's mentioned as you not not not as a name but besides that from Schmis Rabenu is in every portion and for good reason because he's uh he's uh he's the reb he's the leader he's the one who's uh you know he's the prophet he's go God god Hashem but when we ask a question why did Hashem choose Mosher Rabenu why him so the which is a good reason it's a good question like it says why hashem chose no because he says he was the only you know at least halfdeent man I mean pretty decent man, a sadic, but they argue what it means relative to his generation, relative to other generations, but he was certainly a decent man and therefore he was saved. Okay, great. I understand. The same is true with other personalities that are chosen. You want to understand why they're chosen. Why them? There's other people. What about the says he was a shepherd. He was shephering the flock of his father-in-law. He was minding his own business, as they say in English. He was busy with the sheep. He was a good, beautiful, wonderful, loyal, dedicated shepherd. And then out of the blue, he sees this bush, this thorn bush on fire. And as they say, life has never been the same since he decided to turn around and look. Right? Your mother said, "Don't look. Don't look. Go further." But he decided to look and the rest is history as they say. But what's the context of that? Just because he was a shepherd. So doesn't clearly say why, but it does through stories. It tells us three stories about Mosher Rabenu. Those are the only three stories we know about him before he's chosen to become the redeemer, the leader of the Jewish people. The fact that the Tyra chooses to tell three stories about him, not four, not two, not 10, just three means that those three stories are essential to understand the profile, the person, the character. What are the three stories told about him? So this you have in your source sheet. After the first story, which is not about him, it's about his mother and about his sister. Misha is born. Of course, it's during the terrible time where every Jewish male, every Jewish child, male child is abducted by the Egyptian forces and cast into the Nile. Mosha's mother knows that this shall be his fate. Probably under natural circumstances, she hides him for 3 months. After 3 months, it's impossible to hide him. She puts him in a basket, puts him in the Nile, hoping beyond hope that maybe maybe somebody will come and save him. What was the chances that this kid will be saved? this little baby is in a basket in the marsh of the Nile Delta, but staying at home would be a certain death. So, this was her hope. And indeed, we all know the rest of the story. The daughter of Par comes out to bathe, sees this basket, retrieves it, sees a child who's crying, and decides that this person must this child she's taking home. Miriam, who was there a whole time watching from a distance, simply wanting to know what will be the fate of her brother, runs over to her and in a brilliant, brilliant stroke of genius, says, "You may need a wet nurse. You may need somebody to nurse this baby. Should I go get a Hebrew wet nurse, somebody to nurse this baby?" And Batia says, "Of course." And of course, Miriam in this brilliant moment goes and gets her mother who is the mother of the baby. And what happens? So basically this is with the moment this is Exodus chapter 3 in the Hebrew and in the English par the daughter of par meets the woman we know her name is of course Miriam didn't tell uh this person who's the princess of Egypt who this person is maybe she speculated maybe she guessed the doesn't say you know people sometimes have a hunch and uh she was certainly one special woman but she says her take this child and nurse this baby for me. It's interesting. She's talking to the mother. And she's saying, "You're nursing this baby for me." Really? But she was wise enough to be quiet. Yes, I'm nursing the baby for you. I will pay you for it. Isn't that an amazing thing? Yeah. Imagine somebody was paying you every time you fed your children. That's an amazing arrangement. Only in Egypt. Only with the daughter of Par, right? You're nursing my baby. I'll pay you. You're staying up at night. I'll pay you. You know, people pay nurses to stay up. What if people would just pay the mothers instead of paying all the nurses? Okay. I'm actually going to pay you. In other words, this is a real deal. You're getting paid. You got to be responsible. If you don't get paid, I don't know if you're going to do it, but if you get paid, you're going to do it. So, the woman takes the child and nurses the baby. So, in many ways, this is like the most perfect arrangement. You get to mother when you want. the baby is too messy. You give him back to the daughter of parro, right? So, it's amazing arrangement. She's getting paid for nursing her own child officially. It's not her child. This is the deal that the daughter of Pharaoh made with this woman who we know is Misha's mother. Now comes the next part. The child grows up a little bit. We assume this means, as most commentators say, he's weaned. She's weaned him. Basically, he can start eating regular food. He doesn't have to nurse. He's a little older. So does that mean one years old or 2 years old or then they used to nurse sometimes for 24 months or some people for a few years but he's a little older but the boss pirate remember it's not her child officially she was getting paid so she brings this baby to Pharaoh's daughter and she he is adopted as her son he becomes a child to her so essentially Mosha is growing up from the youngest of ages understanding that he is an Egyptian a prince the daughter of par the clearly says she didn't just raise him in the palace like a you know somebody I'm taking in for shelter that wasn't the pointain she adopted him as her son he is her now her son here comes the question does Mosa have any memory of where he came from if she brought him back to the daughter of pyro when he was one years old one and a half years old two years old a little older could be doesn't have a memory I'm not talking about subconscious memory and a soul memory everybody has an inner knowing I'm talking about on a more conscious level the Torah doesn't say but clearly He is now the child of Batya. Not only that, she's the one who gives him his name. So that means she's not just raising him. She actually gives him his name, his identity. And our his name till today is not the name of his tat and mommy. In fact, the medish says that Mosha's parents gave him other names. Most people don't even know those names. His name was Tuvia. Another name was T. Another name was Yusil. They gave him a bunch of names. There's 10 opinions. The 10 names that he had. We most people don't know any of them. It's in medra. The one name that was chosen is chose the name. Hashem adopted also this name. Why? Because I plucked him out. Is I drew him out. I I retrieved him. I extricated him. That's the word. I extricated him. I drew him out from the water. And that's what Mosha means. Masha says I took him out. Fine. So [snorts] now where is the story holding? We just know that Misha has a Jewish mother, a Jewish father. His mother's ploy worked miraculously. It worked. Her boy was saved and she got to see it. It's not like she came back to the Nile and she doesn't know what happened with the baby. Maybe he was capsized. Maybe he was saved. Maybe he wasn't. Because of Miriam, that little girl who was only six years old who decided to stand far and watch, hold gaze. You know, we talk about the maternal gaze, maternal holding. So between and Miriam, Mosher Abenu not only survived, but they knew he survived and he was living quite a comfortable life. He couldn't get a more comfortable life in the house of par. What's the next scene? The Tyra now skips over many, many years as it usually does. What did Mosha play with? Who were the babysitters? What did he have for breakfast? Did he take piano lessons, violin lessons, guitar lessons, drumming? Did what was happening? You'll figure it out. We don't know. The terra continues now skips over to becoming an adult. So from being a baby, he's now an adult. How old is he? The terror doesn't say. Of course, as always, we argue about it. So the med says some people say 20, some people say 40, some people say a little younger than 20, a little older, but there's different opinions theor doesn't say clearly. happened in those days. Now, Mosha has grown up. Now, obviously, now growing up is not just growing up that he's not nursing anymore. In other words, he's he's not an infant, but he's he's a little older, but here is he grows up to the point he goes out to his brothers. So, he's now old enough to actually explore. He's independent person. He goes out to his brothers. We know the story. He sees their civil civil means their burdens, their pressures, their labors. He sees an Egyptian, an Egyptian man beating, striking, beating, a Hebrew man of one of his brothers. I want you to notice an interesting thing in this verse. It says his brothers twice. What What are you thinking about the interesting thing? Same thing. Somebody's nodding. I just want to know. Okay. It says twice his brothers, right? It says he grew up and he went out to his brothers. It could have said he went out to the Jews. He went out to the Hebrews. It says he went out to his brothers. And we assume we know what that means. Later it says he sees an Egyptian man beating a Hebrew man, one of his brothers. Something seems redundant here. It could have said he saw an Egyptian man beating a Jew. It's very clear. It could have said like it said the first time, Egyptian man beating one of his brothers. The first time it doesn't say Jew, it says it doesn't say. So he could have just followed that theme and said he saw an Egyptian man beating one of his brothers. You already know who his brothers. But here suddenly it changes which is what led the Evan Ezra to give a radical interpretation to this PK unlike most people interpret it. And I want you to take a look at Devanzra for a moment. It's the last source. Evanzra now Devanzra lived in Spain. Abenu Ara Iban Ezra and he was one of the greatest poets in Jewish history. Ara Iban Ezra was also a genius. He was an astronomer. He was a linguist. He was a philosopher. He was a sage. He was a rabbi. And he wrote a very interesting commentary on Kush. Very very original, very audacious, very independent thinker. He also had a very difficult life. Rab Ibanzra. One of his he would he he traveled everywhere. He traveled. I mean those days the 12th century you're talking about the 1100s 11th century 12th century he was older than the Rambam and he was from the Spanish golden era the golden the golden era of Jews in Spain zahav they call it in Hebrew of Ram bin Ezra he had a very very difficult life extremely difficult life to the point he has he has very interesting poems very fascinating poems and one of his poems he says that he has such bad masle in life he says if I would start selling candles so that people can have light at night the sun would not set anymore so that I would not have panosa he says not only that if I would go into kadisha people would stop dying that's what he says he had a very very biting funny humor about himself and others trying to describe the character was a very interesting person so he has his own way of interpreting kish but very acceptor rabbz was a great great at he's in all the cries. He'll always see Evan Ezra, Iban Ezra. His father's name was Ezra. He also had a son who converted to Christianity under the crazy times of the Spanish uh the Spanish pressures. So, it was I I believe that I think I once read that. I have to look it up. The historians will probably correct me, but I think I think one of he had a famous son-in-law, the author of the Kuzari. In any case, so he gives a very different interpretation says it doesn't say he went out to the Hebrews. You know who his brothers are? He went out to see the Egyptians. He was in the palace of the king. His brothers are not Jews at this point. His brothers are Egyptians. He's the grandson of Pharaoh of the king. He is the son of Batya. He is a real Egyptian. If anybody is an Egyptian, he is the man. He is the quintessential Egyptian. He's actually one perhaps the ear to the throne or certainly capable. Mosha wasn't mean was great. It means that parro appointed him to the CEO of the palace alenu at this point had serious responsibility. He was in charge on the entire household of pyra. So obviously pyra recognized this man this young man his grandson was skilled and brilliant for us. It's not a kdesh but pyra saw this kid and he said you know what he's going to take over here. So he puts him in charge of his home. So Deanzra says when it says he went out to his brothers, it means actually his brothers, his kinsmen, the people of his nationality, the people he was comfortable with. It's not the Jews. He went to see what's happening in Mitzim. He wanted to get a feel. He was protected in the palace with all the comfort in the world. And he wanted to go see his people. He wanted to go learn about his nation, about his ancestry, about his supposed lineage. That's what Debz says. Now we understand why it says brothers twice. It's not the same brothers. The first time it says it's the Egyptian brothers. He thought he's an Egyptian. He was in the palace. So he went out of the palace to go see the Egyptians. The second already is not brothers in sense of camaraderie like you're my brother in camaraderie. It's more biological brother. Tells we are brothers in the sense that you're my nephew biologically. The second brothers is different. It's the biological brothers. But what happened in the in between? What happened in the middle? I should say Ramban argues with Evanzra. Ramban lived after Evanzra. Also in Spain, but he lived at least more than 100 years after the Evanzra. He wrote a commentary on Kish. As you know, Damban was also one of the greatest leaders of Spanish jury. Besides being one of the great rabbis and sages, he was also a physician, a doctor, and a great commentator and a great debater. He debated the Christians a lot. Take a look at the Raan right above Devanzra. He says, you know why he went out to his brothers? Somebody spilled the beans. Not like Deanzra. He went out to his brothers cuz somebody told him that he is a Yehudi. He's a Jew. He's actually paraphrasing here the words of McGillis Esther. Shahuy comes from the words of McGillis Esther where Hmon was told that Mardai is a Jew and Hmon went crazy. So he uses these words. Somebody spilled the beans. He doesn't say who. Was it Batya herself? His mother who adopted him? Was it somebody else? Was it maybe somebody trying to make fun of him? You know, you think you're going to take over in the palace, you're just another Jew. Ramban doesn't say, but he says obviously somebody told it to him because he wouldn't have known. He wanted to see them. People want to know who where they come from. They want to know who they are, who their people are. He wanted to go see them. And suddenly he never knew about this. He was protected in the palace. Batya never told him you're a Jew and your people are suffering terribly because then he probably would have protested. The reason that believes that Moshe didn't know he was a Jew, he thought he was an Egyptian is probably if Bata would have told him I'm a Jew and this is what's happening. Mosha would have said you saved me. What about everybody else? So she never told him. The Ramban says some somebody did tell him and he wants to go see them and suddenly he sees that this is not so simple. These people are suffering. Very interesting words of the Ramb. Mosha could not deal with it. He could not tolerate it. So therefore like instinctively he killed the Egyptian who was beating and abusing the is the Jew who was under crazy insane pressure. The Ramban says he could not his heart could not watch what is happening and therefore in the next story as we're going to see he kills the Egyptian. So what happens? So he goes out and he sees this happening and the Tyra says so he's watching an Egyptian beating a Jew. Again we have the argument that Ezra says when he goes out initially he doesn't know he's Jewish. He's going out to the Egyptians. Ramban says no of course he knows he's Jewish but he doesn't know how much they're suffering. What happens next? This is the one, two, three. The fourth line in the Hebrew lines from the top. He turns this way and he turns this way literally means here. So it would be almost physically like you look here and you look there and he sees that there is no person. There is no man which most people would interpret. He saw the coast is clear. There's no video cameras. There's no policemen. There's no watch guards. There's nobody there. Nobody's going to know. He strikes down the Egyptian. He kills him. It says he strikes him down, but it's clear that he kills him because he hides him in the sand. He buries him in the sand. So, he just saved this Jew from death by killing the perpetrator, by killing the wouldbe murderer. Okay, this is the first story we know about Marsh. He comes out of the palace and he right away gets in trouble. His first act is he saves this Jew. You know, curiosity brings him out the second day. Curiosity, caring. Now, there's two people fighting, but it's two Hebrews fighting. It's not an Egyptian beating a Jew. It's one Jew wanting to kill, beat another Jew. He was He wasn't quiet yesterday. He's not going to be quiet today. So he turns to the Russia, meaning he turns to the to the to the wicked one, to the rebellious one, to the offender, and he says, "Why do you strike your friend? Why do you beat your fellow friend, your this other Jew?" The person does not remain mute. He says, "Who made you the chief and the ruler over us? are you going to kill me like you killed the Egyptian was afraid and he said I guess it's been known it's already out on the WhatsApps that I have killed the Egyptian so when it says there was no man there was a man because this man knew this Jew knew that an Egyptian was killed by Mosha and he says is that what you're going to do to me now we know what happens next par finds out and he wants to kill Mosha He wants to kill Mosa and Mosha runs away from Egypt and he runs to Midion. Now he is a fugitive. So from living in a palace in prosperity and comfort. He's now a refugee who was almost killed by his own grandfather for doing such an act of killing an Egyptian to save a Jew. And therefore he's out of the country. He escapes to a place called Midyan. He goes to a well. And here we have the third story about Misha Rabenu. So we had in story number one, Misha confronting the Egyptian, Mosha confronting the Jew. And here is three story number three. The priest of Midian has seven daughters. They all came and drew water to fill the troughs with water for their father's flock. Their father had a lot of flock, sheep or goats or other animals, primarily sheep, goats, and they need a drink. So you had what's called raatim. are truffs which you fill with water so that the animals can drink whether it's cows or horses or camels and so forth. So they come to the well to fill the trough so that all the flock can drink. The other shepherds come and drive these girls away. There's seven daughters and they're all expelled. They are being hunted down, harassed. Mosha and son once again Mosha decides not to mind his own business. Mosha rises to their defense via and he saves them vayasham and he himself waters their flock and of course we know the end of the story they come home and their father wants to know what happened and they tell him and he says why didn't you bring him home to eat bread which was his way of saying somebody here is a potential son-in-law and they bring Mosha home and he marries of course one of the daughters the next story is Mosha is shephering the flock of his father-in-law and he has the vision of the burning bush. So you see that the followup to that moment and Hashem will send him back to Egypt. And when does he come back to Egypt? When he's 80 years old. So this is not a story that happened over a few weeks. You're talking about a story that continues here over 80 years. Just a few verses covered 80 years. Because it says that Moshe when he comes to par and he takes the Jews out of Egypt, he is 80 years old. And then he would travel in the desert for 40 years with the Jews and he would pass away at 120 40 years later. So what happened for the first 80 years of Mosher Rabenu? We only know three stories after the first story of him being saved by the daughter of Par and his mother nursing him anonymously I guess and then bringing him back to Bas Par. He grows up. We have three stories. He kills an Egyptian. He speaks to a Jew who's beating another Jew. He saves and helps the seven daughters of Midyan. Those are the three stories we know. Obviously in 80 years more stories happened but the terra just tells us these three stories in Medish. You have some other stories but these are the only three stories in the one right after that is Hashem reveals himself and says you're the man. I want you to go back to Egypt and liberate my people. And Mosha asks Hashem no who am I? Why me? What am I doing here? It's a funny question to ask what you think God thinks your name is Goldberg. You think he doesn't know who you are? You think you're he thinks you're Rosenberg or Schwarz. He made a mistake. What do you mean? Who am I? Me? I know who you are. I came to you here. Could have gone to other people. But obviously was asking an existential question. He didn't feel worthy for this job at all. And that becomes a long debate between him and Hashem. Should I go? Should I not go? How could I go? Nobody's going to believe me. I don't even know how to speak. I can't communicate. I'm the wrong guy. Send somebody else. There was anybody who did not want this job. You read Mosherenu. He did not want this job. And at no at no point did he become very excited about it. He was this was not his his natural his natural proclivity which is why when he did it he did it right because he was not looking for any validation or leadership or power or influence. It was not his thing. So when he did it he did it because he knew this was his mission. The fact that these three stories are the only stories recorded before are so significant because they really capture and tell us exactly who this person was and why Hashem chose him. What's the common denominator in all of the three stories? one common denominator and that is when Moshe faces injustice. When he is confronted with evil, with darkness, with not only insensitivity, insensitivity, but cruelty, barbarity, selfishness, narcissism, narcissism, sadism, he's not quiet. That's the common denominator of all three stories. In the Gmorra, there's always an expression when you bring a few examples, always question, why do you need all of them? One already tells you the story. The answer is cuz each one of these stories tells us a different dimension. The first one is also a big deal. He grew up in the Egyptian palace. He sees an Egyptian beating a Jew. He could be quiet, but he's not. He decides that he wants to protect his people. As the Ramban says, these are his brothers. I cannot tolerate this. And he kills the Egyptian. So, it is a courageous moment. We understand that because he himself puts himself on the line. He knows that this is an act of treason. He knows that parro probably knows or speculates where he comes from and this is a direct defiance of the king. You're saving the Jew, right? It would be somebody who grew up in the home of Hitler or in the home of Aishman or in the home of Gobels or Rosenberg or Himmler Yakam somebody who grew up in their home. This was Par. It's not a far-fetched example. Parro was the Hitler of the time. How Bati got away with it is another crazy story. once spoke about her arm extending and what that really means. She really got away with murder, pun intended. She brings a Jewish kid into the house of Adolf, of Pyro, the one who wanted every Jewish boy dead. And she's like, I'm going to raise him in YOUR HOUSE UNDER YOUR NOSE. IN FACT, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE STEAK for him at night. Parro, I have news for you. You know how divine providence works. But she gets away with it. But now suddenly the real colors of this of this yud of this Jew is coming out. He kills an Egyptian. So this was a lot of courage from Misha and he probably knew that he's putting his life in danger but he couldn't tolerate. He's not going to stand. He's not going to be quiet. So he kills the Egyptian. But the second day you could say it's two Jews killing each other. What do you have to mix in fet? If you mix in you're just really getting in trouble. This is local Jewish politics. I understand a Jew is being beaten by a non-Jew. You want to defend the Jewish people. Yet a lot of Jews when they see anti-semitism, they scream, they holler, they fight. But one JEW KILLING ANOTHER JEW. YEAH. That's you know what means natural. What do you have to mix it? What do you have to mix it? This is politics in a community. Two people they already going back generations. You had to know what happened with the 60 years ago. You know, everybody has a story. Before the war, they were already killing each other in theat shin continued. And then there's the business and then there was the yusha and then she was supposed to make a shvas and then he didn't bring the napkins and then what happened at the bitzvasal embarrassing. He didn't EVEN LOOK MY WAY. WHATEVER. AND HIS MOTHER, IF YOU KNEW HIS mother and her mother, whatever. What are you getting involved? Too many people are laughing when I'm saying this. I don't know why. [snorts] What are you getting involved? let them figure it out. Not only that, if you get involved, it could be and people are going to know. Suddenly, Moshe says, "No, no, no. One person wants to beat another person." So, this is a Jew towards a Jew. But now comes a third story. The third story, he's in Midyan. He's outside of his own country. And who is bothering who? It's not an Egyptian bothering a Jew. It's not a Jew bothering a Jew. It's strangers that are completely not connected to him. So let them mind their own business over here. You also have to make trouble much. You saw what your trouble did already. You saw WHERE IT GOT YOU, how successful you became. You're now a fugitive, a refugee. You have nothing besides being at a well. That's your whole future basically. So now you need another now you need to get yourself into more trouble. So I understand it's your people. You want to defend, but these are not your people. These are seven girls, the daughters of the priest of Midian, who are being expelled or being hurt or being harassed by these shepherds. Okay, you want to be a nice person, call 911. Go tell somebody. You could think Misha says, "Okay, this is out of my realm." What does he do? No, he stands up and he fights the shepherds and he saves these girls. And you have to understand also, this is this is before this is a few thousand years before feminism. Unfortunately, at that time, if you know a little bit about history, women, most women in most cultures were treated very some cultures till today and some people till today, but they were treated in a very, very different way. Extremely different way. So, Mosher Rabenu really is going here against the whole status quo. It's not just these people he's fighting. And yet, and it's not even it's not girls he knows, it's not his family, it's not his people, it's not his nation. by he rises by he saves them. These are the three stories. The next story is Hashem reveals himself and says you're the man. You're the leader. So here the clear message is what is the most important qualification of a manager of a true leader by the Jewish people beyond everything else. But what's the most important vital thing? What is indispensable? It's the courage to be able to speak out and to stand up to injustice, to darkness, to toxicity, to stupidity, to hatred, to poison of all forms. It could be the Jew suffering from a non-Jew. It could be the Jew suffering from a Jew. And if you take sides, YOU'RE GOING AGAINST A JEW. He doesn't say that. No, I'm not only going to scream when there's a non-Jew beating a Jew. I'll also scream when there's a Jew here hurting a Jew. That's not any more right because it's a Jew. I'm not going to cover it up and say it's dirty laundry in public. We don't deal with dirty laundry. We just let it smell for another hundred years. And then I'll stand up for other people, too. Even if it's not my realm, I'm going to stand up. I'm going to stand up for truth. What's my what's my business? There's a whole world that's sick. Let God deal with his world. But Rabenu sees it and he does what he can. If he can do something, he does it. even when this means putting himself in tremendous risk. Now it's important to emphasize this because sometimes people don't realize that before the exodus of Egypt before matra before the whole Judaism was revealed developed before he became a nation what's the opening message of the terra that the greatest leader ever of the Jewish people what made him who he is to become a prophet to become God's messenger to become the redeemer to become the rebal to give us the and everything else what was the first thing he was not quiet when he saw evil, when he saw abuse, he was not. Sometimes over many centuries, these basic messages can be forgotten in the name of ritual, in the name of religion, in the name of protecting God, protecting communities, protecting infrastructures, not rubbing people the wrong way, not being controversial, making sure everyone loves me and likes me for eternity. You put a zipper on your mouth and you still close your eyes by and you really believe you're serving God. And here the Tyra says you could take your God and throw him into the Nile. This is not the real thing. You want to learn what it means to be before you is don't be quiet because it's the silence that allows evil to prosper. It's the silence of good people who say I'll do something else. I don't see. I don't know. I'm on my phone. I'm busy giving stuck. I'm busy saying tumm. I'm busy fasting. I'm busy learning. I'm busy running to a shir. And as a result of that, perpetrators of all forms get away with murder because good people don't want to, you know, create any ruckus. I want to be good people and my kids needim and they still need to get into seminaries and yeshivists and I'm ash of a person and even after THE KIDS ARE MARRIED BUT the grandkids have to get married and even after they're married but the great grandkids have to get married. So as a result of that let's just be quiet and the darkness celebrates. Skeletons lives in live in closets. Ghosts love darkness and demons love the middle of the night. How do you like my poetry today? Okay, thank you. [laughter] [panting] Now, but let's take this let's take this one step deeper. When the Torah introduces the story the first time, the first story Mosha comes out to his brothers. He turns there, he turns there. He sees there's no person. There's no person, no man, which literally means nobody's seeing the crime. Nobody's seeing what I'm going to do and therefore I can get away with it. The problem with that is that the next verse we see, somebody did see. If nobody was there, nobody would have known that he killed the Egyptian because the Egyptian was dead. So he couldn't tell the story and the Jew who was saved probably would not go and you know tell the story to publicize just saved his life because but obviously there was a person next day who told Merenu you're going to kill me like you killed Egyptian yesterday and not only that somebody sent the news to par so it wasn't just somebody knew the story and told Misha about it but the story went to par so this is a great what does it mean by yish so some People will say like the for example writes obviously Mosha didn't see right he thought there was no person doesn't mean there was no person in his you know we have blind spots vy in his vision there was no person but there was a person rashi struggles with this and rashi gives a whole different interpretation he says it doesn't even mean literally that there was no person it means he looked into what would be the lineage of this Egyptian who is going to what is in the DNA moenu I guess had a ability to be able to see into the DNA what is going to come out of this Egyptian. So he had to make a based a judgment not only based on him but based on future generations. Another fascinating interpretation but on the most literal level the clearly says it very literally. There's no person. So either you could say Misha made a mistake or you could take the words out from their literal interpretation. But there's also another interpretation. It's not physical. It's rather talking about from an existential or from a place from a leadership from a moral position. He saw there was no person. And other commentators say this he turned here. He turned as you would say in English. He saw there was no man. There was no man here to take responsibility. There was nobody who would open their mouth. Doesn't mean necessarily there was no person. Maybe there were a thousand people. Maybe there were 100 people. Maybe there were 50 people. But he saw there was nobody who's going to say a word. Everybody is going to acquies. Everybody's going to say, "Yeah, there's somebody beating a Jew. Yeah, that's life. What are we supposed to do? We're in gallos. We're in exile. It's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe they'll turn away. Maybe they'll hold their hearts. Maybe they'll sigh. Maybe they'll cuddle up. Whatever it is, fight, not fight, flight, freeze, but nobody's saying a word. And this was what saw at that moment. And when sees this at that moment, now he has to ask himself a question. And the question is this question. Do I say nobody's saying anything? There's no man here. There's nobody who's going to take a position. There's nobody who's even going to protest. Certainly, there's nobody who's going to touch and and beat the Egyptian. Do I say to myself, I'll do like everybody else does. They always tell us follow the community, right? We have all these mitzvah. Follow the majority. Don't go away from the Don't be a don't be a misfit. Don't be a defect. Don't be the black sheep in the family. You are, but don't be >> they all mentality. They were terrified. >> Perhaps. Perhaps. Yeah. >> Yeah. Perhaps. So, I could say everybody's quiet and there's good people here. I see there's good people. So that's just a message. I should also be quiet. Marsha could have done that. Or there's another way of thinking of it. Everybody is quiet. Therefore, I must make sure that I'm not quiet. You see, you could use the same facts and circumstances to lead to two different conclusions. One conclusion is logically do like everybody else. They seem fine. I'll be fine. Let me just fit in. That's one way of looking at it. And it makes sense. And we have good sources for it. WHO ARE YOU? VISTO. Who made you a king? Yeah. Where did you get this figuring things out? You have to go find out, make a committee, bring in great experts. We'll do research for a couple of years. And then after a couple of years, maybe maybe we'll make another committee that will meet again to do a little more research to make a fundraiser and then build a website. And then after a few years, the final committee will maybe to make a decision to stop this Egyptian. By that time, this Jew has long been dead. So, Misha decided the opposite. If nobody is talking, then the conclusion is if I become like everybody else, this Jew is dead because nobody's saying anything. Because there's no ish, I'm going to be an ish. And this perhaps inspired the statement. But where did they get this expression from? Right here. It's fascinating. But you see there's no men. We don't mean physical men. There's no men in terms of leaders, people who have courage, people who could say something real. They're not just trying to plate them, people's please, and make sure that everybody loves them and they're accepted in the right circle so they could be honored to do whatever they want to do. There's no So I could say I'm also not going to be Why should I be the only weird one? Why should I get the hate email? He's not going to get hate email or hate mail. said if there's no now the buck stops here. So at least you be the MAN CUZ IF YOU'RE not here the whole thing is going to become a shipwreck. Nobody's going to stand up. So what did what did that tell him? Not I'm also not going to be an ish. Therefore I'll be an ish. It teaches us a different type of response because there's two responses in life and they both make sense. >> [snorts] >> One response is follow because sometimes following is a beautiful beautiful thing and if everybody is doing this they must know what I don't know maybe they have experience maybe they have knowledge maybe they ask the shila and that's makes sense but misha teaches a different way of thinking precisely because nobody is doing this that's why I'm going to be the one to do it and at that moment he becomes raenu that's the moment oment. That's literally the moment. Now, in the second story, it gets even more dramatic because now he's not saving a Jew from a non-Jew. And in the third story, he's not even saving a Jew. He's not even saving somebody from his nation, from his family. So all of this shows you the character that the in a very subtle way is trying to depict in order to be able to appreciate who this person is and why he becomes the role model of what it means to be a leader. And when we say leader doesn't necessarily mean a leader in the magnitude of Mosher Rabenu, but every person in their own sphere of influence, whether it's a mother or a father, an older brother, an older sister, a teacher, a say, every person in their own sphere of influence. What this means in their own corner, in their own little universe, but it's not so little. But now, let's take it one step deeper into the internal world. Okay, it's interesting. If there was no person there according to there was somebody there. What's the terra trying to say? He turned here. He turned there and there was no person. Obviously the wants us to know that if it was just a strategic move because he doesn't want to be caught. Okay, that makes sense. If I'm going to do something, you know, people who go to rob banks make sure that there's nobody there. people who go do things that they can be caught. They make sure if you you know if you followed a few what was it like a two or three months ago they went to the Louv in Paris you saw and they stole the crown jewels of Napoleon $100 million it took them eight minutes they brought a pickup truck they made believe that they're construction workers with a cherry picker they went up they got into the window and they stole $100 million of Napoleon's crown jewels in the Louv Museum in Paris and they got away with it. >> Huh? >> They were never caught. Yeah, they did. They dropped they dropped I think one of the jewels, one crown or something they dropped on the way because they went away with motorcycles. But most of that they took of course you make sure nobody is there every knows this is emphasizing this what that had and the fact that somebody did see him actually means he made a mistake. So obviously the wants to teach us something here. But let's now go back to the argument of the Evan Ezra and the Ramban which we opened with. When Mosha comes out, the Ramban says he knows he's a Jew. They told him he's a Jew and he goes out because he wants to see his brothers and then he sees how much they're suffering and he cannot tolerate the pain. Evanzar says no. He went out to his brothers are the Egyptians. He went to see Egyptian culture. He went to learn about his heritage. He thought it was his heritage and then everything changes. He goes out to brothers who are Egyptians and in the middle of that journey he finds out that he has different brothers. That's what the Ramban says. It's beautiful because the as we said says twice [clears throat] that's Egyptians. And then his brothers changed his brothers now became Jews. So what is really Nebuchadnezzar teaching us? His identity is he's an Egyptian. He goes out, he starts looking around and something happens. He looks at his brother, an Egyptian, beating a Jew and something clicks for him. What clicks for him? He sees this is not sitting inside of him well. But I'm an Egyptian. I'm Par's grandson. I'm Batia's son. I'm the ear to the throne or certainly a capable ear of the throne or potentially of the throne. Why is this not sitting well with me? I'm an Egyptian, right? I'm I grew up here. These are my people. I love Par. I love Batya. This is my future. This is my identity. It's my successful place. Misha has been successful there. Par didn't treat him as a par appointed him as the CEO of the palace. There's a lot of potential here. But something is not sitting with him. Something is not resonating. And what happens? Mosha asks himself a question. Why is this not working for me? This is a moment that Mosha has to go much deeper. Something is off. This is the inner knowing that something is wrong. Something is not working. Somehow I cannot I cannot be complacent. I cannot make peace with this experience. And suddenly he has to go on a search. Then doesn't get into all of the details, but obviously he realizes something. Whether it's an instinctive epiphany, whether it's somebody who told him something, probably something from very very deep inside, he knows right away that he got his brothers wrong. Who he thought were his brothers were not his brothers. They're actually represent everything that's contrary to his soul. And suddenly the changes. So when in the beginning of the verse I thought I had one brother. At the end of the verse I suddenly discover I have a new brother. So of course it has to say brothers twice. That's why the first time it doesn't say the Hebrews. They weren't Hebrews. They were Egyptians according to Evan Ezra. The second time from the pain from the questions from the insanity something amazing happened. Moshe found out who he is. So it's not just the Egyptian that was killed and the Jew that was saved. Somebody else was saved. Mosha's soul was saved. His righteousness was saved. His sanity was saved. He was asking himself, "Am I an insane person? These are my people. I'm an Egyptian. WHY DON'T I LIKE THIS? WHY AM I NOT FINE WITH IT? WHAT DO I have with the Jews? I do have something." And this brings him on a search, an inner inner search. And suddenly at the end of this search, the Egyptian is dead. The Jew is saved. And now Misha has to run away. But the Ramban argues the Ramban says no. Moshe knew he was Jewish. He went out as a Jew. So now I ask you a question. Which one was it? WAS EVANZAR RIGHT OR IS THE Ramban right? Now who am I to say if but it can't be both. Either you know YOU'RE A JEW OR YOU DON'T KNOW you're a Jew. I mean right? I don't know if anybody is sitting here. Am I an Egyptian? Anybody? Am I a Jew? Right? [snorts] You don't even ask if you're a Sparty or Ashkanazi. Maybe that in my lineage it's a little confusing. You're this, you're this, you're that, you're that. Everybody has a file on themselves. If you don't, if you don't know, ask Google. If you don't do, ask BT. They'll tell you more about you than you ever knew. They'll make up stuff if they have to make up to make you feel good. Who was right? There's no two way. I mean, I know I'm a Jew. My mother is a Jew. My grandmother was a Jew. My great-grandmother was a Jew, as far as I know. And they certainly have the, you know, we all have the Jewish some very powerful Jewish qualities for the good and for the challenging to what what is this argument here? But maybe maybe there's something very deep that the Torah is telling us here. Maybe Evanzra and Raman are not arguing because a person is not made up of one part and a person does doesn't only have one thought and one identity. Identity as everybody knows is very complicated. Maybe when Moshe goes out, the Tory is so ambiguous. And I want you to see here the precision in the If you go back again to that uh third verse on the top of your sorcery, the third Hebrew line, brothers, it says twice, but only the second time does it say it was a Jew. So we ask there's a problem here. Either you say brothers, just brothers. He went out to his brothers and he saw an Egyptian beating his brother. Or just say he went out to the Jews and he saw an Egyptian beating a Jew. SO THEY HAVE SAYS THE FIRST time it was an Egyptian. The second time it was a Jew. That's why the first time he can't say to his brothers, the Hebrews, he thought the Egyptians were his brothers. So it should have said just like the second time it says but maybe maybe the first time it says he goes out to his brothers and what does it mean he goes out to his brothers he's actually going out to check who are his brothers he's not just going out to his brothers he's going to find out who are his brothers or to put it a little poetically mobu went out in order to reconcile the argument between Ramban and Evanzra I know the argument would happen 2,000 years later. I get that. But the essential argument, the argument between Ramb and Evanzra, who Mosha is and what he knows about himself, THAT'S THE ARGUMENT HE WAS GOING TO CONFRONT THAT MOMENT. WHO? I don't know. That's what [snorts] I'm trying to figure out. I WANT MY BROTHERS. We have it already by Ysef, which is how we ended up in Egypt the first time when Ysef is on the way to his brothers. And it's interesting why the Torah tells us the story. It doesn't seem so relevant. He gets lost and somebody finds him in par and says and what does sayim I'm SEARCHING FOR MY BROTHERS TELL ME WHERE THEY are shephering and the person says they left they went to a place called Dson and he goes and he approaches them and we all know the end of the story he's put into a pit and sold as a SLAVE AND THAT'S WHY THEY'RE in Egypt. So centuries later, Ysef already passed away. The Jews were in Egypt for 210 years. Ysef died when he was 110. So this is already years years later. Mosher Rabenu is now in Egypt. He's already a few generations later cuz his father Amram was the son of Kahus who was the son of Ley who was the son of Yakov was one generation closer. He's also looking for his brothers. But here's a deeper question. Who are my brothers? Ysef knew he who his brothers were, but he was looking for them. With Mosha, the search was much deeper. I don't even know who my brothers are. Ysef and his brothers had a difficult relationship. We know that. But he knew what he was searching for. Mosha didn't know who his brothers are. Who are the people I'm searching for? I need to once and for all make peace between Ramban and Evanzrad. >> Identity. Identity. Now take a look at the next verse. What does it say? Turns here and he turns near. YOU CAN EXPLAIN it right, left, east, west, south, north. You can explain it. He just looks around. He looks at the environment at the ambiance. But maybe means internally. It's almost like you can hear and see two people inside of you. Two hearts, two minds. We don't have a mono mind. We have many, many. We have one brain, many minds. If you don't believe me, just watch yourself for a few minutes. Just watch yourself for a few minutes. [laughter] Our minds are SO INTERESTING BECAUSE WITHIN 20 MINUTES, YOUR MIND CAN PRODUCE HUNDREDS OF paradoxical thoughts that are completely inconsistent with each other and yet you kill you call yourself normal. I don't, but some people call themselves normal. You know, just to imagine you have a scan. And it's going to Elon Musk will certainly develop an ability for me to attach something to your brain and see everything you're thinking. Would anybody want that? [laughter] We'll have more compassion for each other. No. Imagine there's nobody in our life. Let's face it, even your closest friend and even if you have an amazing marriage and your amazing relationship, but nobody really knows what's going on in your brain. I mean, even your best friend, you tell them, let's face it, 3%. BECAUSE EVEN YOURSELF, you don't tell. How much of yourself do you tell? Wow. You give yourself a diagnosis. Is I turned here and I turned there. Inside he saw two voices, two people. It wasn't outside. The deeper turning was here, here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here. And what did he see? He really saw a person, a young man who grew up in the vortex between two cultures, two different destinies. As the adopted grandson of Pyro, the adopted son of Batya, he may be the next king of Egypt. He may be heir to the throne of the superpower as long as he behaves nicely. He follows etiquette. He doesn't kill Egyptians. He supports Py. He goes to the demonstrations and he SCREAMS AND THEN MAYBE AFTER PARRO KICKS THE BUCKET, he will be the next. That's one way of looking at it. And you know what? There is a deep empathy here. Let's face it. Who saved him? There's no question that there's one person who saved this man and that is the daughter of Py. She physically saved him and she gave him a good life. She gave him not only shelter, she gave him comfort. She gave him prosperity. She gave him even a good woman to nurse him for a couple of years. She gave him everything. She paid that woman. So he had a beautiful, beautiful life. And she gave him royalty and aristocracy. An opportunity he would never get anywhere else. Certainly not as a Jew. As a Jew, he would have been dead in denial. And even IF HE WOULD HAVE BEEN saved by some Egyptian peasant, maybe fine. So he may have been another Egyptian peasant. Here this woman gave him everything. And not only that, you have to understand something. The Tanakh says about that his wisdom was greater than the wisdom of Egypt. So the Mafarim say that the greatest wisdom of the time was where it was in Egypt. Now Mosher Rabenu wasn't a binger or a chocolate addict or an alcoholic. Mosher Rabenu was a great great person. So even in the palace of Egypt, what do you think he was doing with his time? He wasn't squandering his time. Mosh Rabenu immersed himself. People don't understand this about Misha. He immersed himself in the wisdom of Egyp which was the greatest wisdom of the time to the point that it says wisdom was greater. What was the wisdom of Egypt? So the commentators explain the cabalists explain Egypt had brilliance and understanding nature and I want to say this in one minute. I'm not going to elaborate on this but I just want you to understand Judaism grew out from Egypt. We are a continuum of Egypt. That is why Mosher Rabenu constantly warns the Jewish people against idolatry because Egypt was the center of idolatry. We have to understand what idolatry is. We spoke about this a little bit about Khan. It's not the stupidity that you sometimes think I'm just bowing down to a statue. So, what are you bowing down to statues? Bowing down to a snake. Bowing down to a frog. Bowing down to a cow. Aar is really the idea that the whole world is alive. The whole world is filled with energy. A rock has energy. The wind has energy. The earth, a blade of grass, a cat, a squirrel, a dog, a bear, ALLAH. EVERY EVERY CREATURE has divine energy flowing through it. Of course, you can worship it. What's the mistake? The mistake is they don't see that it's all one. Huh? >> What's the source? >> There's no one source. It's not Hashem. It's fragmented. So, there's the god of the wind and there's the god of the sun and there's the god of the moon and there's the feminine god and the masculine god and this god and that god. It's fragmented. But the world is alive. Everything is alive. Even a rock is alive. A mountain speaks. There's a deep life there. There's a force of divinity that flows through but it's fragmented and they're fighting with each other. JUDAISM GREW OUT OF that but gave the revolution of it's all one. Later when a desire was eliminated eliminated especially by the Greeks who focused more on philosophy in many ways it became further from Judaism because it became a detached universe. It's like a cerebral universe. And that's when Judaism for many became a cerebral religion which kills its real energy which is a vivaceious experiential nervous system embodiment of your oneness with Hashem. I should say this again. That's assuming I know what I said. No, I actually know what I said. If I could feel what I said, it would be even deeper. But we're working on it. I'm working on it. Basically the the Greeks the Greeks everything was about science. It's understanding the universe as an objective reality. If you could see it in a laboratory, if you can prove it, it exists. If not, it doesn't exist. Now, there's a beauty to that because you're using the mind. It's very rational. It's very scientific. But with that, they also killed the experiential relationship with life because you cannot live life through your mind. I tried many years. You can only live life experientially. You live life in your body, in your nervous system, in your heart, in your emotions. The mind is an amazing tool and it's part of that experience. For the Egyptians, their brilliance was in nature. They understood the life force and everything, but it was crippled by the avoid element. That's why Moshe kept on talking to the Jews about it because Judaism grew out of that. It didn't grow out of the deadness of cerebral intellectualism. It became that much later. And that's why we spoke about Khaneka that it's not so certain that we won the Greeks that's still the battle is still going on a Judaism just of the mind but detached or experiential an experiential embodiment of Hashem. So as a result of that you have to understand that Mosha in the palace had a very very deep experience. It was not just he was wasting his time in a in in a corrupt space. There was obviously corruption. Excuse me. There was there was obviously corruption but Mishabenu was spending his time immersed in the greatest wisdom that existed in the time and because their economy was strong and there was was a superpower every ounce of wisdom that was available was by Mosha's feet. So now he's looking he's looking at a life in the palace that in many ways was nothing but a glorious blessing and a glorious opportunity and something he needs to be grateful for. That's K. But then there's another K. He's a Jew. His father is Amram. His mother is his sister is Miriam. His brother is Aaron. His grandfather is Ley. Jakenu Aramino. These slaves, these wretched slaves who have nothing are his brothers. Their DNA is identical. He's a Jew. He sees the barbarism. He sees the sadism. He has to decide who's right, the Ramban or the Evanzra. Who is he? Who is his brother? And here's the question. Will he be quiet and indeed inherit the throne and then he could do amazing things? Or will he stand up and say, "I'm going to beat this Egyptian to death and I'm going to save the Jew." Ah, he turns here and he turns there. What's the question? The question is, who am I? What do they say in Hebrew? My Who am I? Am I the son of Par or the son of Amram? Am I the son of Batya? or the son of Yv? Am I the sister of other Am I the brother of other Egyptian princesses or am I the brother of Miriam? Am I from the royals from the aristocrats or am I one of the wretched slaves? Am I from the lucky privileged ones or I'm the ones who are broken and crushed as slave laborers? Am I an Egyptian or a Jew? This is not an easy choice. What happens next? Take a look. He saw there's no ish. There's no person. You understand what he saw? He realized that in this eternal struggle, you never become a person. You remain a spineless human being always on the fence. Var he saw that in this space there's no person is I have no real identity. There is no core. I'm basically somebody without a spine rolling around fitting in here some days fitting in here other days. There's no courage. There's no there's no core eye. There's no I'm like a floating leaf. What do we say in the like a floating grain of dust literally a particle of dust floating around and asking where should I land today I'll land here tomorrow I land here when I'm hungry I land here when I'm thirsty I land here when I need attention I land here I'm now applying this to our own lives sees This is the price of ambivalence gone in the wind. There's a piece of straw. The wind blows here. I go here. The wind blows here, I go there. You can't live this way. Who are you? Who am I? What makes you tick? What do you believe in? Do I have a heart or have I become artificial intelligence? Chat GBT and AI is whatever you want it to be. If you're telling them I have a hard day, can you tell me how great I am? That's what they will do. >> You tell them you want to end your life and they might >> Yeah, they'll do what you want. Do I have an inner life force that I'm connected to? Can you feel the divine energy flowing, cruising through your veins, cruising through your bones? Am I alive? Do you feel your life force? Or to put it simply, am I alive or am I emotionally dead, paralyzed? Am I surviving or am I living? Am I ready to stand up for something not from pressure from an inner inner knowing of this is who I am? There's a real atsmas or I'm just here surviving. So today I become aggressive. That's how I'm going to become powerful. I need to PLEASE EVERYBODY. WHO ARE you raenu a ish? He sees there's no ish here. There's no there's no person. How many of us can relate to this? Sometimes my entire life I'm busy fitting in, fitting in, copying people, emulating people, not knowing who I really am. Sometimes it expresses itself in fight. Sometimes it expresses itself in flight. Sometimes even my carving my own identity is not really my own identity. Is the identity I carve to be independent so that people can feel I'm independent. There's a deadness in it. There's a torture in it. I don't really I'm not living life from an inner inner inner core from an inner inner knowing. It's such a torturous way to live because it's almost what pulls me at this moment. I'm responding to instinct. Now I'm tired. Now I'm hungry. Now I'm exhausted. Now I'm bored. Now I'm lonely. Now I need a distraction. Now I need another distraction. Now I need this type of distraction. But internally nobody's looking. I don't know aish. There's no person. There's no real person there. Why? I don't have a core. I don't know my core. I have it, but I don't know it. And this is sometimes I would say one of the greatest tragedies in life. Probably every pain in the world is better than the pain of not feeling. Somebody once told me, I'd rather feel every pain in the world rather than not have a heart that feels. A heart that shuts down, that numbs itself and can't experience. I don't know what is my life force. Who is inside of me? Now, many of us did this. We were forced to do it consciously, unconsciously, choice, not choice. Mostly not by choice, but it becomes a survival technique where I just show up. I'm a soldier. I do the right things. Who am I? I don't know. I don't go there. I can't go there. To be able to go there, I have to have a relationship with my nervous system. I have to relationship with my heart, with my emotions, with my body. That's going to bring up stuff that I ran away from many, many, many years ago. Some people at some point in my life, I wouldn't, if I heard this class, I wouldn't even understand what this Rabbi Wa is talking about. What in the world are you talking about? Just wake up, go to Shakris, do what you're supposed to be, be a mench, have good mid, be a nice person, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, say that's it. Isn't that a good Jew? And even mid is how you act. You smile to the right person. You say hi to the janitor. Like you say hi to the janitor. That's sometimes all of Judaism. Of course, you should say hi to the janitor. [panting] But what where is we can I see the soul of the janitor or it's just a checklist. I said hi to the janitor and I didn't speak lashhara for three hours a month. I went out to eat with my friends and we didn't speak lashhara. Wow. No prize. What's the issue? The issue is everything becomes external. It's concretized. My inner life was can you experience an oid mv in your bones in your nervous system. What does that even look like? Who am I? What is this life force? An ish. I'm showing up. I'm doing the right things, but I don't know who I am. And the worst is I don't even know that I don't know. That's my wife told this to me. I DON'T KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW. [panting] When you don't know that, you don't know. You don't know. That was deep. When you don't know that, you don't know. You don't know that. You don't know. It's like pretty real. You don't know. You really don't know. I I'm simply not aware. That's what it means essentially. I'm a robot. A robot means I'm responding to things. Robots are very, very efficient. [laughter] The house is clean. The shabas table is set. The best food in the world. Amazing, amazing stuff. And these are all important things. But the inner presence of a life force that is everything. It's the relationship right now. Presence right now with me. I don't even know what that looks like. I couldn't and I couldn't afford to because it would take away maybe from everything. It's much Let's Let's face it, artificial intelligence work much better than people. >> [laughter] >> They never need vacation. They never stop. So there's a lot of advantages to that. Once you start feeling, it's messy. Oh my god, you feel. Leave me alone. Who wants to know about feelings? The problem is living means feeling. Living means presence. Living means attunement. Leaving living means a soul is alive. If I speak from a personal experience, I grew up myself in a very very highly intellectual environment. extremely intellectual environment. Very challenging and very rewarding. Very challenging intellectual environment, very demanding and very very rewarding because it's it's good stuff. Good stuff. But extremely intellectual environment with a lot of demand and a lot of learning and a lot of studying and a lot of using the brain brain brain brain brain brain. [panting] And it was in many ways a great blessing and gave me a lot of amazing things in life with God's grace. But I do have to say my heart was closed. I couldn't feel myself. Of course I felt when I'm hungry. Of course I felt when I'm tired. Not always but a little bit. Of course I felt when I was exhausted or I was thirsty. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about feeling your in my internal life flow. It's it's not even in words. It's like it's almost a secret because you can't articulate it. It's not that I'm hungry or I'm tired or I need a coat or I need to take off my jacket. Of course, these are physical things. Thank God we feel and that's how we could protect ourselves and do what we have to need. I'm talking about an inner inner spiritual energy. If Hashem's energy is right now flowing through me, through you, through you, and it's real. It's alive. What What is that? What is that? It's just that now I need potato chips. Now I need a black and white. Now I need to eat. Now I need a drink. that internal internal sense of aliveness that I'm channeling Hashem's energy through me in my body in my heart in my nervous system also through my brain of course the brain is a central ner is the center of the center the central nervous system the [snorts] brain is the center of life but it's an embodied experience that's what ish means I don't even know who I am and in people's lives that can be so so so paralyzing Because we sometimes uh the truth is I didn't even know this exists. I have to tell you the truth. I mean I read about it but it was another intellectual experience. It was mathematics. You understand what I'm saying? Mathematics. This exists that exists. That exists. And in every person that can happen in different ways. There's no ish. Look what happens at this moment. Yakamitri Mosher Rabenu strikes the Egyptian. You know which Egyptian? Not the Egyptian on the outside, the Egyptian on the inside. He strikes that Egyptian. He says goodbye. Bye-bye. He doesn't just dispose. He buries him in the sand. He's there. He knows about him. He can even come back to his burial place. could put a rack a rack on the tombstone humorously speaking. He buries the Egyptian inside of him for good. That's the moment where Mosha experiences a second birth. He is reborn. At this moment, God's prophet was created. At this moment, the first Jewish leader was created. once and for all he said goodbye forever to the Egyptian inside of him at that moment internally this was this can't be an external decision if I'm doing it because you're telling me to do it or because Rabbi Wi gave a class and said you should do it you're not doing it that's another another artificial intelligence taking over this is internally it's the most internal thing you can do because this is never for anybody else never it's not for your spouse not even for your kids. I know you're not allowed to say that to Jewish mothers, but I'm going to say it anyway before you stone me. You can't even do this for your kids. You know why? Cuz if you do this for your kids, your kids will do this for their kids, AND THEY'LL DO IT FOR their kids. AND THEN I FINALLY WANT TO KNOW, WHO IS THAT KID THAT we're all killing ourselves for? Cuz I want to kill them. Who is that kid going to live in like 19 million years that everybody's I don't care. For the kids, Shabas for the kids. SURE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT FOR THE KIDS. And that's what they do. For the kids. For the kids. For the kids. You have to be a mench for the kids. Beautiful. That child. I want to see him. I want to meet that child. [laughter] You want to do the greatest thing for your children? Do something for your soul, for yourself. Because what we can give our children more than anything else is the self presence, heart, love. And that cannot be forged. That could only be when I'm an ish. When there's no anymore. When I'm an ish, I can give something. I can't give something that I don't have. So at that moment internally, he knows who I am. I'm a servant of God. I am not a child of par. I'm an hashem. I'm a I'm a reflection of an of infinity. I'm not a slave of parro. I don't worship his success. I don't worship his money. I don't worship his palace. I don't worship his throne. I don't worship his influence. I don't worship his YouTube channel. I don't worship his websites. I don't worship his Instagram. I don't worship his noble pri. I don't worship him. I'm done. I'm thankful to Bata forever. She was God's messenger. But I'm not Batya's essential child. I'm not Par's grandchild. When David says in the presence of Hashem, everything is everything is subsumed in infinite reality. That moment experience everything is subsumed in infinite reality. I am his reflection in the world and a moment later he can sacrifice his life to save this Jew. So was a deep internal experience. He's reborn. And you look inside sometimes people are working so hard to do everything right. Everybody you're sleing to therapists and going to therapists and sleing kids to therapists and grandkids to therapist and looking for professionals and reading up and doing this. You're even coming to the shar. You're doing everything right and trying to be organized and trying to get the house together and trying to make all the kids happy and you want to boost their self-confidence and you want them to the right class and the right yeshiva and the right camp and you're so open-minded. You're so different than your mother was when you were a girl and you're ready to compromise in the seminary and you're even ready to marry a balta whatever it is. Forgive all my humor. I'm just talking to different people from different demographics. So you have to know inside jokes. You're even ready. You'll do anything. You'll go to Kashnavshi and you go to this one and you go to that one and you'll become a pretzel and you'll do somersaults in the millions just to be able to say ah there's one issue is or in this case it's sometimes a isa there's ish and isha both from the same word is and I ish is the fire of yud isha is ashhe the fire of hay But there's a deep fear. There's a deep fear because the only way I could find my blisses if I touch my pain. The only way I can go into my deepest core is if I'm ready to deal with all the parts that I had to disassociate. I know with myself that's exactly how it happens. There's no way of finding your life force if you're not ready to face all the blockages because they are all blocking the life force. In Tanya it's called kipa and it's real. Kipa is real. A plug for my wife's Tanya class every other Monday in Mal Foyer's home. They say the women say it's life-changing. True. Okay. M foyer's house 49 Linkrest because the main theme of the Tanya is that Kipa is real. What's Kipa? Kipa is husk shells. If that kipa surrounding me, of course there's a I don't know who I am. I just know my kipa. I know my husks. I know my shells. So now I need your validation. Now I need your approval. Now I need you to tell me after this class that it was the best class you ever heard in my life cuz if not I have to go to therapy tomorrow. Whatever it is in everybody's in everybody's life. I'm just responding constantly responding with pressure and it's good things. I'm not trying to do you're not nobody's trying to do bad things. Good people is a great man. But in that process there's the fear of confrontation of looking at it of feeling it of experiencing it. And we all need support for this. And there's also the fear of being different and the fear of of of just being really authentic. I just want to make sure I'm I'm fine. I'm safe. These are survival templates. They're called kipa. And there comes a moment, a gift. God gives you a gift. Suddenly, you have an inner knowing. Andu says, "Right now, I can make a decision. Right now, this is it. You don't have to live this way anymore. I don't have to be ambivalent anymore. Of course, I know about this voice. Of course, it will sometimes come up. I'm not Mosha. Moshe became Mosha. We all still have those struggles ongoing. But you could know, have an inner knowing. This I embrace. This gets buried. Buried doesn't mean repression. Buried means it's not taking control over my life. It's not coming to the surface to take over my system. Take over. I can go back there. I can visit. I could listen. The mitzvah wants to scream to me from under the earth. inside. I could choose I could choose to strike down that Egyptian to be who I really really really am to be my most authentic authentic self and that changes everything. I should say that in Jewish history I think we are such a time because there was a whole generation of Jews that their main mandate was to please everybody. Our job is to please everybody and that's how we'll get rid of all the demons of the Holocaust and anti-semitism and the pgrams and the dees will be normal nice civilized people who will please the whole world a little Jewish a little not Jewish the best best of both worlds and it's a tolerant society and then literally in our own generation just with October 7th and the whole para that happened afterwards until this very day suddenly Jews are confronted to decide who are their brothers in the most beautiful beautiful way. Who are you? Who are you real? What do you stand for? What are you ready to live for? What are you ready to die for? Who is your inner soul? Do you have a soul? Are you really alive? Is there an authentic person? Is there a real people I'm talking to? And even though we so many of us ran away from this, a whole generation, it's almost like the whole world is screaming, "You're Jewish for heaven's sake." [panting] It's almost I feel like there's an unconscious outcry of the world to the Jewish people. Can anybody finally tell us the truth about themselves? Can the Jews finally speak up and tell us who they really are? [panting] And it's really really such a powerful gift in many ways even if it comes with crisis if it comes with adversity because there comes that point in life where it's not about an intellectual debate. I'm not debating who I am, who you are. It's not about intellectualism. It's about an internal embodied experience of feeling your source, of feeling your divine life force that's flowing through you. I want to conclude with a story. The story literally just unfolded and the person who it happened with shared it with me. So this is not a story you know clay sheni kamishi there's a man named Rabbi Aaron Mal Karito an Italian Jew lives in Rome and uh has been influenced by the community there grew up there and not long ago became the kabach in the ghetto of Rome. Rome has a ghetto and a year and a year ago he shared this with me a year ago he put up the Kabad house in the Rome ghetto. It's a building that's 500 years old. It's the old ghetto of Rome if you know the history of Jews in Rome. And he got that building and he put up a kabad house in the ghetto of Rome. Rabbi Karito Canarito Italian name Arin M. He starts making programs, davining and learning and Jewish programs and educational programs, social programs, youth programs. A lot of people come to the ghetto of Rome. So it's very very successful just a year just mamish a year a year and a half. And he tells me on Kanek a Jew comes 90 year old Jew comes into the house in this Roman in the in the ghetto of Rome 500y old building and he asks the Jew did you ever have a bitzvah? No, he never had a bitzvah. Wow. Didn't put on fill in. Didn't have a b mitzvah. Nothing. So he says, "You know what? There's going to be a few bakram coming. A few yeshiva boys came for Kaneka to help him out with all the activities. So let's wait till they come. We'll make a minion. Bring out the tyel. Get an aliyah." With him comes to his mitzvah. Another Jew. What's your name? Gabriel. How old are you? 86 years old. You had a bitzvah. No. So they make two bait mitzvah. 90 year old Jew, 86 year old Jew. They're putting on the fifth day of Kaneka palace Israel. They both get aliyah. He sent me a video of them dancing with the safety. You should see the the the it's like a a soul coming out of something otherworldly. They're both like dancing so emotionally. They never learned any of this. Holocaust survivors. Shine 86 years old, 90 years old. A beautiful, beautiful event. There was a few bakum in the shul and the rabbi the and these guys that dancing with the sat very emotional khan the last night of kaneka was when Sunday night right Sunday night the last night of kaneka I think the boys had to go to the airport they're going back to yeshiva whatever it is so he said he'll drive them to the airport but he wants to do a public kaneka lighting before just that kaneka should be the khan should be lit but there was nobody really there so he got together a few people and the bakim came but as He starts the midnight. A whole crowd comes over. It's suddenly huge. People gather from everywhere to the public line in the last night of Kaneka. And suddenly who shows up? The 86 year old Jew who had the bitzvah just a few days ago whose name is Gabriel Sanino, an Italian Jew. He shows up. So the says, "You know what? We have here a Jew who had a bitzvah. Now he's a survivor of the war. We want to give him the honor to light the last night of Khanek, the min here in front of the Kabad house in the Rome ghetto to kindle the eternal flame of of the Jewish people and of Judaism. So this Gabriel, this 86y old Jew who just put on film the first time in his life a few days before had his bitzvah, was dancing with potato, gets up and he lights the eight candles. It's very emotional. It's very moving. And the tells the people, look, look at this. We're in the ghetto of Rome. [panting] The Nazis made this the ghetto of Rome from where the Jews were sent to uh liquidation and murder. And Kaneka is burning. Our light is burning. And who lights it? A survivor who just had his mamits with his friend. And he sped a few words and he inspired the people and they danced and they sang and life moves on. The tells me, Rabbi Karito tells me, he left me a a voice note on WhatsApp and he says this Jew afterwards, Gabriel tells him something. When the Nazis entered the Rome ghetto, the ghetto of Rome, they put all the Jews into the ghetto of Rome in Italy. The Jews were there for a long time. There were two little Jewish children, a brother and a sister. Mameish cla a few years old. They didn't know. They didn't understand Hitler, the Nazis, the ghetto. They didn't understand. They didn't have that knowledge yet. So this brother and sister were playing in the ghetto in the street innocently, unaware of any danger. You know, little kids, they kids adopt to circumstances very, very fast and they're just playing innocently in the streets. They didn't know that you have to be careful of certain people. And there's a Nazi soldier walking down the street. And you know, by the Nazis, if you were a mouse, you had more significance than if you were a Jew. If you were an ant, you got more dignity than if you were a Jew. The Nazi soldier is walking in the ghetto. And what does he see? He sees a little Jewish boy, an angelic cute Jewish boy with his beautiful little sister playing around, having fun, laughing, running. Violently he sees them. He seizes both of them. He cups both of them with his monstrous arms and he shles them down to take them to uh be murdered. He's shleing both of the kids, this little brother and this sister going through the ghetto. And he passes by the Nazi with the kids. passes by a dairy shop by a local Italian man, a non-Jewish Italian man who had a dairy shop. He would milk cows and sell milk and other dairy products. The owner was there and he sees this. He sees the Nazi schleing these two little kids and he's not a Jewish guy. He's a has a quick thinking. He started to scream at these kids. I'M LOOKING FOR YOU FOR HOURS. WHERE ARE [screaming] YOU? YOUR MOTHER IS SCARED. YOUR BROTHER IS SCARED. I'M SCARED. I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY. I WANTED TO CALL THE POLICE. He runs over and he slaps the GIRL IN HER FACE. NEVER DO THIS. Never do this. NEVER DO THIS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? And the Nazi says, "Oh, you're their father." He says, "Yeah." He says, "Oh, I'm sorry." The Nazi apologizes. The Nazi apologizes and he says, "Take your children." The kids apparently were so shell shocked from everything that thank God they didn't protest because they were just, you know, overwhelmed. And the Nazi says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I thought they were Jewish children. That's why I took them. I didn't realize they were your children. Here, take them back." The Nazi left. He took these kids in. He saved their lives. Gavia looks at the [snorts] and he says, "I want you to know something. I stood up to lit the minura. This was the place where I was saved 82 years ago. This very spot where this minura is standing, that's where I was with my sister and the milkman came out, slapped her and saved her and me. I didn't think that 82 years after that event because he's 86 years old now. He was four years old. I would light the minora zaneka in the place where we were actually physically saved. And he says and your kabad house is the dairy store [panting] from where he came out because the mana was in front of the kabad house. Your kabad house is the dairy store. That's where he came out from. And right here at this mana we were saved. This is this is what Rabbi Canarito shared with me literally a few days ago at that moment you know literally talk about that Italian man and talk about these children this person was saved they told him he was a non-Jew he told the Nazi they were non-Jews that's how they got them in exactly like Mosher Rabeno 82 years later he knows exactly who he is. He has a bitzvah 82 years later and lights the minority. Have a beautiful week. >> First of all I live in Cleveland. This is my mother. >> Who? >> My mother. >> Oh okay. opportunity >> because he saw that his brothers were very different, right? You didn't say I love you. >> Oh, you mean the guys would like the boys singing >> very good. >> I'm talking about Benny Friedman. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Benny Friedman got it from Welcome. We appreciate having we appreciate having >> a miracle you mentioned that they you said started off there's a miracle my sister was making hospice tonight was the same one I just read I couldn't come for two weeks because I was afraid of >> oh the guy yeah he he thanked yeah he got them yeah >> I don't know Miriam or somebody else >> where is Miriam >> Miriam had an event she couldn't come Thank you. >> We're going to take that train of thought.