Women's Class | Why Are We So Anxious by the Seder (And How to Repair It)

let me begin with a story that was shared by the former chief rabbi of israel chief rabbi of netanyahu then chief rabbi of tel aviv and ashkenazic chief rabbi of israel for many years rabbi yisroel mayor lao and he said you know after communism fell and the gates of the soviet union were opened finally the iron curtain was removed and jews and others can emigrate from the former soviet union to whichever country they wished you remember maybe in 1990 there was mass immigration to israel i think close to one million or more of jews and others from russia came to israel and because they were living under the tyranny of the communist regime for 70 years in which there was a strategic and successful attempt to uproot every last vestige of yiddishkeit of judaism of jewish practice of jewish religion naturally there was a question about many people whether they were jewish or not you know perhaps they intermarried perhaps their you know grandparents were jewish but they were not jewish so the courts the rabbinic courts in israel then were very involved with trying to help determine who is a jew just because you came out of russia and you called yourself a jew did it mean that you were actually a jew and this was obviously important rabbi laos says that one day he was sitting in the best and he was sitting in the courtroom and a fellow came in 42 years old a jew who grew up in russia and the soviet union identified himself as a jew made aliyah to israel and now he wanted so to speak to be endorsed and approved and receive a certificate that he is indeed a yohudi a jew so you had to bring some evidence this man had two witnesses the first witness was an elderly jew who also came from russia and he said that he was at his bris he was at his circumcision 42 years earlier when this boy was born the second witness was a chabad khasid and the khabad khasid shared the following story not about him but about his mother he knew his mother for many years and this is what he told rabbi lau she was a director of a hospital because she was director of a hospital i don't have to tell you maybe i do have to tell you but the fight the the economic conditions in the soviet union for most people was horrible you had to wait online for hours and hours to be able to get some food never mind to be able to get some clothes it was a desperate situation but they were just used to it everybody had a television even before americans had televisions everybody in the soviet union had a television because this was sponsored by the state because it was their biggest tool for propaganda this was their their instrument to be able to indoctrinate and indoctrinate and feed all their information to the populace but in terms of all other needs it was there was a tremendous shortage you had to wait for hours and hours online and therefore the black market was very very alive and well in the soviet union a lot of things you couldn't even get on the regular market you had to only get it in illegal ways through the black market so this khabad khasi tells rabbi lao that this man's mother had a prominent position in a hospital she was director of a hospital administrator director because of that she was privy to get two cigarettes a day this was a time when cigarettes in russia were extremely extremely precious most people smoked they i guess didn't know about the you know negative effect whatever the case is but this was a tremendous you know stress release for them but to get the cigarette was very very difficult and this woman was privy to get two cigarettes a day one cigarette she would smoke another one she would hide in a special box in a special container under her bed nobody should find it and this chabad hostage says every year purim time she would come to me with a box that contained 365 cigarettes because every single day she got two and she put one away and she would say to me and now get me the matzah and i would take the cigarettes sell them on the black market get flour and baker a certain amount of matzah so she would have matzah for pesach and he tells rabbi lao you know to get an extra cigarette in russia was very very precious but she put it away every single day so she should be able to eat matzah on pesach rabbi lau was extremely moved by the story and he asked this fellow is your mother still alive he said yeah she's living in the in russia said can i speak to her. and of course they arranged a telephone call and rabbi lao from his office in tel aviv or in jerusalem where he was probably jerusalem calls this woman and she gets on the phone and he starts talking to her and she confirms the entire story and then he says to her you know the difference between you and i i observe the sader night once a year you observe the seder 365 days out of the year every single day when you put away that cigarette you were observing the seder and celebrating pesach and then i understood that pasik says that tyra says you should remember the day that you left egypt you should remember it not only on the day that you left egypt which is passover but you should recall it every single day of your life and that's the jewish law we mention and we remember and we recall the experience of the exodus of isis mitzrayim the experience of our freedom liberty emancipation every single day in fact by day and by night as we explain in the beginning of the why we do it by day and by night so here's a woman who didn't only mention it verbally rabbi lao said you actually experience pesach every single day of the year and experience it through a serious commitment and sacrifice by putting away that cigarette sushi we're able to have matza for pesach i say this because it's a beautiful and moving story but i think it also gives us perspective when we think today about our own zarim in a different climate in a different environment under different circumstances but with our own unique set of challenges and that's what we're going to discuss today the fact is that many people experience a lot of anxiety and passover and especially the night of the seder that anxiety doubles triples sometimes quadruples or even more there's a lot of anxiety of what it's supposed to look like people feel it wasn't good enough it's not good enough i'm tired i'm exhausted i'm not in the mood why am i not feeling all the light all the energy all the electricity all the holiness all the godliness and a lot of other sources of anxiety that people have it triggers and brings up a lot of memories repressed memories or non-repressed memories conscious stuff unconscious stuff not everybody some people enjoy it immensely but for many people it's a difficult night they have shared it with me they continue to share it with me or personally or via email and that's what i want to discuss with you this evening today not this evening i've already had to say their night this morning for some of you i see it's already evening but here it's still tuesday morning and today's class is dedicated by uh their friend khanna zelda minkowitz in loving memory of her father above ram aaron schneiderman getzel halevi rabashkin who passed away one year ago on the ninth of nissan his yacht set was celebrated and commemorated yesterday one of the great hearts of the jewish community of brooklyn of bharara park above ramaran rabashkin father also of our friend of solomon the famous rabashkin family in beautiful family and dynasty in honor of his first yard site died a year ago from the coronavirus just a few days before pesach may he be a source of everlasting blessing and inspiration to you hanazelda and to your your mother to the entire family health happiness prosperity and reyes also dedicated by a very dear friend the leader of the nave institutions in erits israel rabbi david refsen thank you so so much for your continuous friendship and dedication to god's children and the type of leadership which is not directed by a tunnel vision but rather broad and expansive encompassing the full rainbow of colaliuserol and the full richness of tyrus israel and the lachey israel and eritrea it's been a year for everybody it's been an intense year for everybody no question everybody's going through something some of us have lost loved ones some of us have lost friends relatives some of us have struggled with illness some of us have struggled financially some of us have struggled with ourselves with our children with our family some of us have struggled mentally psychologically spiritually it's a difficult time for many people it's a time for deep compassion and deep love and deep connection and reaching out and it's been a year it's been a full year just remember this time last year it was extremely intense and you know the results are still here and the future is still not completely certain what can i do what can you do to be able to repair our sense of anxiety and stress when pesach comes when the seder comes that's the question i'm addressing today and the answer i'm going to share with you today is actually a story it's a long story and it's a story recorded in a hasidic discourse which you have on your source sheets if you open your sources if you go to the yeshiva.net that's t-h-e-y-e-s-h-i-v-a-dot-net and you'll see women's class why do we have anxiety at the pace of cedar and how to fix it and you'll see under the video there's something called download you can download the source sheets or on top is view storage streets you can bring them up on the screen you can make it larger you can print it out you can put it on whatever you want below you have download on top you have view let me tell you what we're going to be studying today we're going to be studying what's called a mimer a mimer means a hasidic discourse a hasidic presentation that was shared by the sixth lubavitcher rebbe known as the rabbi yosef yitzhak schneiderson i'm privileged to carry his name my name is yasif yitzhak which is why why joseph isaac and the rebel ayats was the sixth rebbe in the dynasty of the seven chabad rebels which begins with the altar rabbi rabbi schneider zalman of lyadi the author of the tanya and the shulkin who passed away in 1812 he was the founder of he was a student of the maggot of ms rich who was the successor of the balshampton of the founder of the founder of the hasidic movement and the al-bir abhishe called him called the balsham of the zayd spiritual grandfather and the maggot the tata spiritual father his grandson his daughter's son was the the tamariki great grandson was the rabbit he's some people call him the previous lubavitcher the freedom he was born in the year tough meme which means 1880. he lived for 69 years he passed away passed away tough shinjud 1950 on the 10th of schwarzwat he was born in lubavich which is a little town in belarus but throughout his life he relocated his father fled the germans during the first world war and they moved to rastav on the dan river and then a few years later he relocated to lenigrad which used to be called petersburg the bolshevik exchanged the name to lenigrad he was arrested and after his arrest he ultimately left russia he moved to latvia then he moved to warsaw then he moved to which is a suburb a rush of war so they went back to wars after the war broke out he escaped from the nazis and arrived in the united states in march 1940 tess under shaini tafshin and he lived here in new york for 10 years his hasidim bought the home the famous home 770 eastern parkway brooklyn in new york crown heights where the rebbe lived for 10 years until he passed away shop this morning parishes 1950 and he's interred in the montefiore cemetery in queens he was succeeded by his son-in-law abimen known as the rebel who was the seventh rabbi in the khabar dynasty and if you go to the oil to the resting place you'll see that the rebbe and his father-in-law are there side by side they have rabies and near him his son-in-law the labor chief of the most recent laboratory ever the previous laboratory was an extraordinary figure and i spoke about him a few times with you one of the unique features was he was one of the last standing jewish leaders in russia that remained there under the communist tyranny the bolsheviks and the efsexia the jewish part the jewish section of the communist party uprooted judaism almost completely and all the rabbis and teachers either went underground or or fled and you're talking about the greatest of einstein ultimately they were there but in order to sustain any vibrant judaism you couldn't you couldn't do it and there never remained and he said shlokham he sent emissaries throughout the soviet union one of them was my grandfather to hold up yiddish under impossible circumstances they never built 600 underground schools 600 underground schools most of them were closed down of course by the communists until he was arrested he was sentenced to death and then he was sentenced to 10 years in exile it gives you a little bit of an appreciation of the magnitude the stature of this person he would teach maimaru which our discourse is hasidic discourses and they're published in a set of sephirah maimaru when he came to america he published periodically maimarum in yiddish he would say and then write down and publish discourses and he did them in yiddish usually they've done in hebrew we did them in yiddish because most of much of the population understood the yiddish and he wanted that these ideas should be able to reach them in their native languages a lot of jews didn't know hebrew but they came from eastern europe and they all knew yiddish so these maimon were published in yiddish and later they were compiled into a book called safer hamaimarim yiddish from the previous the sixth of july the last discourse of the book begins on the pasek shalom great peace to those who love your torah who do not stumble and in that mimer the last one of this book which you have here in your source sheet and we posted it both in yiddish and then in hebrew because i know not everybody understands yadish so i wanted to post the original in yiddish because you may appreciate that but if not if you understand hebrew we found the hebrew translation and and it's posted as well in the source sheets in this discourse he shares a story and i'm thankful to a friend repfitcher rabin who pointed who pointed me to the story because i wasn't aware of it so thank you very much and it really i think is so powerful because it teaches us that a lot of the struggles you know we're dealing with today didn't begin today they may be manifested in different ways but they began a long time ago and this is a story about the holy bashamtif and about two people running their say their on pace of night with completely different perspectives different attitudes different dispositions and there was a completely different vibe in the home and what the balsamic had to say about it that's the story i'm going to share with you and i hope this will give us all some guidance some direction some meaningful inspiration and set us on the right track of when we are thinking and experiencing these types of dilemmas and questions it's a long story so i'm not going to read the whole story you could read it inside that's your homework but i'm going to share the first part of the story verbally and then there's a section that i want to read with you inside and i'm going to translate everybody will be able to understand even if you don't understand yiddish the story begins with the fact that the baal shem tiv rabbi straub al-shamdiv which means the master of a good name you know i like my history so he was born in 1698. he passed away in 1760. he was born high ello the 18th of ello 1698 which is hey i love him tough nunchus they call it nachas the year of nachas the year of nachas it was really a year of nachas with the mosham came into the world then and he passed away schwarzkopf 1760. he's of course buried in measure bush which is a little city in ukraine some of you have been there i've had the supposed to be there a few times and then he was succeeded by the rebel barrio dave bear the margaret of misrich who took over the leadership of hasidis one year after the basham that was passing for one year was the basham to sun ripped three and the next three was he gave it over to the bear rebel brother margaret of misrich so this mymus says that the basham there are different types of students the washington had students who were going they were great great they were rabbis of great cities you had people like the told us of yosef review he was a big giraffe people like rappaport people like taka like uh like somebody who's going somebody who's going to describe here the market of ms rich himself was a gun island if you go through the list we know many of the talmidim of the of the many of them were great great geniuses great scholars in halo they were rabbis of big cities some of them headed yeshivas and they were closed they became talmudim or hasidim of the baal shem tov was one group but also had many disciples or many hasidim many people who were connected to them who you could he would call pasha pashta means simple jews many of them were not very literate some of them could barely read or understand they worked hard and the balchemt of the balsamic spoke to their soul gave them a new passion a new fire a new love because of course one of the major ideas of the balsamic is that don't get stuck only in the rituals of yiddishkait and in the scholarship of judaism one has to be able to appreciate the soul of yiddish and the first way and the way to do that is to appreciate your own soul your own hashem the washington really helped people identify their own inner infinite greatness how close they were to infinity kirvasa kim lee taif how close they were to how much hashem loves them this was these were major ideas that he taught and therefore he attracted all of these different types of students says the boshantov says the maimer says one of the students of the boshemtiv was a jew who lived in broad broad was a very famous city a very famous jewish community his name was live and handler livened in yiddish is linen handler is he was a merchant he handled like handled as a handler a handler he was called rabinosan livened handler because he dealt with linen this was his source of revenue very successful extremely successful he was wealthy and affluent he did well he was also a talmud which means he was a great terrorist scholar and every single day whenever he had free time from his business especially at night when the store was closed he would sit and learn for hours with great hus mother with great dedication with great diligence but the mimer continues when it came to midas when it came to his own inner working on himself his emotions his experiences his relationships with himself with other people he says in a nice way says which means it was not very worked out his main focus was to learn and learn and learn and learn more and to observe mitzvahs with hidder which means to observe mitzvahs in the most perfected way he also followed everything that it says in the tyrant he was a a religious jew a god-fearing jew but in terms of working on himself refining his character tuning in to what is going on inside of him and becoming the true person that he's capable of becoming this was not his focus the balchemtev told him a few times and made him aware of how important it is to work on your midis to work on your interactions with people your empathy your sense of connection and this is a major part of avoiding hashem of serving god but rebnos and live intently he said it's a faith in he had his own way of doing things and that's what he came to the bashamtive but you know he he ultimately remained in his comfort zone years passed ribnaston had children the children grow grew up he educated them well he mentored them they were london they were tamid they were all involved in learning and they followed the path that their father has created the balshemptiv had another jew who was connected to him he was a makushita museum he was a pasha and he was a simple jew his name was avraham bellish senecer because he came from a town that was called bellish senates it was a little darf a little town in the ukraine apparently in the ukraine so they called them bellish seneca just like they called the first person livened handler rob nelson lavender because of his business he came from bellish senate's they called him the bhavram bellage senator he says as givenzaire prostin lernen his learning abilities were very impoverished in fact he couldn't understand hebrew so his entire source of information were only books that were printed in the yiddish language and there weren't many books in the yiddish language and even that was not easy for him to understand so he could daven he can read hebrew but he didn't understand the words so he would darwin he wouldn't understand the perishables very few words he understood he would read hummus or say to hillam but he didn't understand the words only that which was translated in yiddish but he was a balawida he always tried to work on himself he always tried to become a better person he always tried to be self-aware to refine his character and he says whenever it came to something of serving hashem or doing a mitzvah he did it with a tremendous inner commitment and a joy and he was self-aware he was extremely self-aware always trying to refine his character one day says the maimer the story continues it was a shabbos and both of these people happened to come to the balsamic and live and handler came to the mosham to for shabbos and now came to the most hunter for shabbos that shabbos that was used to teach a lot i don't know if you know that would give a daily sheer to his close students in gemara rashid tyson's and richard that was a very very deep sheer ashamed of himself was a huge gone but the washington said different types of different types of teachings that shabbos over shabbos the balsamic said a torah on a verse in yeshaya one of our greatest prophets is ishaya navi and the first chapter of ishaiah which we read in the haftarah of shabbas khazang says and i quote and i translate oh before it by the way i am now in the second chapter of the mimer if you're in your source streets it's page 216. till now i was doing the end of 215 at the top of 260. now i'm on the bottom of 216. i'm not reading inside i'm just giving you a digest of the story that's being recorded here but if you want to follow inside you could follow inside the navi ushaya says god says literally when you spread out your hands in prayer it just says when you spread out your hands which the commentators rashi and others say means in prayer god says i will not look at you i will hide my eyes from you even if you increase in davening i'm not listening because your hands are filled with blood literally the prophet yoshai is chastising the jewish people the fact that you learn a lot the fact that you dive in a lot the fact that you spread out your hands to me and you increase in your tv god says but if your hands are filled with blood if there's violence in your communities if there's bigotry if there's racism if there's a lack of respect if there's narcissism if there's selfishness if you're killing people hurting people robbing people embarrassing people tormenting people abusing people it's sickening god says i don't need your religious religiosity i'm not interested in your prayers i'm not interested in your learning and this is a major theme of ishayah navi we also say in the haftarah of yam kippur ishaya navi says god says you think i need your sacrifices you think i need your offerings you think when you fast and bring animals that's what's going to make it a special day that's not what's going to make this but those mediterranean day is remove the shackles of those who are being tormented and abused those who have been imprisoned physically or emotionally take care of the orphans take care of the widows take care of people who have been hurt that's the most important thing social justice to be able to be there for people who are suffering and not to allow criminals and abusers of all types to get away with murder there's a lot to say about this as you know this is the main thrust of this verse as well even as you spread out your hands i'm not going to look at you even if you increase in dominance i'm not going to listen you they because your hands are filled with blood comes the balsham and he adds a deeper interpretation to this passage which was the style of the basham siddhis generally is known as prinimiya part of plymouth there it means the inner core of terror which basically reveals deeper layers and dimensions in every aspect of terror or mitzvahs that you're learning and observing so the bashamtv explained that there's two ways of serving god one is called avadas one is called avoid the saliva this working with your mind and is working with your heart this is the void of tifila this divide of learning the divide of davening which represents two modes of connection with hashem and when somebody learns and when somebody darwin's and they're sincere people they also give to dhaka because much of tired and much of thrill is about helping somebody else rebecca says the loving somebody is a great principal of tyrann hillel says the whole terror is about not to be done not to do with somebody else what you don't want to be done to you shabbos the flaming half and that's the idea of before israel before you spread out your hands so it doesn't only mean you spread out your hands to davin it also means you spread out your hands because you're giving money to people who are destitute you spread out your hands in generosity in benevolence you spread out your hands you're not just keeping things for yourself you're actually giving sadaqa and maybe you're doing it with a sense of expansiveness but recovery you're spreading your hands you're not being stingy you're giving handsomely and generously but nonetheless he says your hands are still filled with blood why they filled with blood because even if i may be doing the right thing i may be giving you money what's missing is the empathy i'm not experiencing your pain i'm not interested in you i'm not attentive to you i'm still completely in my own world the bashar is describing somebody who may on paper you have a checklist you're giving to dhaka you're saying the right thing which is wonderful which is good but nonetheless the navy says god wants you should feel another person i could be saying the right thing i could be doing the right thing but am i experiencing the other person am i really connecting emotionally do i even know how to do that it takes time it takes mental space it's not just about saying the right things and doing the right thing which is of course the baseline but can i really experience you can i really feel your heartbeat can i really connect to where you are can our hearts connect and that's the challenge the navi is addressing you may spread out your hands you may be davoning a lot you may be doing the right things but still you they come down and malayo because you're not feeling what the other person is going through you just don't feel them you're in your own comfort zone you're in your own spiritual world but you have a checklist god wants you to give sadaqa you give to dhaka god wants you to say a nice thing you'll say a nice thing you'll say thank you you'll say good morning you're not embarrassing anybody it's wonderful but it's about the checklist you checked over the list what's missing is the heartbeat the shama the experience the emotional bonding the connection the attachment as they call it today you're having an attachment disorder you may never you may you may not even be aware of it this was his message the way that washington put it is a person could give a poor person a poor person means physically or spiritually a poor person doesn't necessarily mean you need money it could be you need something else i may give him a donation with a broad hand is felt they're her master but i don't know how to feel you i just don't that's a form of dummy malayal my hands are filled with this blood here and god says therefore it's hard for me to look at it this is avoid the real avoidance that means connecting hashem really means connecting to the core of life connecting to the core of life means connecting to the oneness of life it means being fully present in the moment and being fully present with people and being fully present with god and being fully present with yourself and that means really connecting to a person so god says even when you're doing all this i can't see it and i can't hear it because it's not real connection it's not real avoid and then and then the balsam tuft says the pasta continues your hands are filled with blood he said what does it mean your hands are filled with blood he says even though these hands are giving even your middles sometimes even my middle stuyves he says are really blemished because they're not refined with this typhus i just happen to be a nice guy but again it's about my checklist it's about me fulfilling my obligation i'm a good person i'm going to get ill i'm happy i'm not going to be punished i'm doing everything right but the connection is not there it's hard to really connect so he says even your midis tivas are brute they're coarse they're unrefined this is sharp stuff there's an expression in gemara called gasos even my spirituality is coarse what do you mean sometimes my spirituality could be coarse it's unrefined it's missing bitter it's missing a lacus it's missing the anointed i do everything again don't minimize it it's much better than other situations when people are are acting and behaving obnoxiously and narcissistically these are midas tyvers you know i'm giving you a smile and i'll do you a favor and i'll give to duck and i'll say the right thing you know and i'll but what's missing is i didn't really go out of myself i didn't really go out of my comfort zone my insecurities i haven't emancipated myself from my own toxicity to really really really tune into you just tune in to you it's not about me doing the right thing this is even midas typos can also be gas this is the toyota the balsam have taught on shabbos ribnoss and liven handler was there rabbi rambella's senator was there they both go home the bashant of the the mimer says and what happens rebnossen who was a talmud he meditated he thought about what the balsamic said and his focus was that spoke about avoiding how you serve hashem with your brain how you serve hashem with your heart this was the focus of ramnasan he was analyzing the torah of the bolshevik senator he didn't even understand everything that was said but those words that he got wow they penetrated right to his core they got right into him and he decided that at that moment he has to reinvent himself and even though he was a person who was self-aware and he worked on himself and he refined himself but when he heard those words that when a person cannot really experience the pain of another person so even if you're giving them and you're giving them with expansiveness it's still called schwitz is dumb it's still called my hands are bloody they did not let him rest and when he came home he really he really opened himself up to a much deeper life to much deeper relationships too much deeper connections and he said as his life progressed is there alzheimer's digest he was stagging he was growing deeper in his avoidance in his inner personal work we now come to the actual punchline of the story which happens on pesach at the cedar and this is chapter three of the mimer and here i'm going to read inside because i want you to get all the details till now i gave a general summation page in your source sheets please follow me i'm going to read it in original in yiddish as i said you have also on your text the hebrew version which you could read but i'm now going to do the yiddish one because that's the original my mirror of the rebel rayats gimmel page 217. some of the students of the bolshev came to be him came to be with him on pesach and the system was that they would spend the meals with him with the balshemptiv and his wife and his family had two children although they've had a a daughter adult and a son ripped smith so the tamidim would spend yomtif with the mashem tiff was home and broad and above rum was home in ballistics but uh the other students were there and they come pace and it's by the seder that was sitting by the table and he's very happy over gillette means he is in a very serene and tranquil inspired and uplifting mood and spirit is is teaching his students some of them geniuses great scholars they should appreciate the tremendous the tremendous pleasure and the light and ecstasy that hashem has from the service of hashem of simple jews who are just there sincerely attentively with their heart and soul even relative to the service of people who are great in wisdom and great in scholarship and have great accomplishments in davoninger learning remember how in camp we would sometimes you know he had a bunk everybody put their hands on the shoulders of their friends right so we were all connected in this circle everybody had their hands and usually you would sing these camp songs so the bashemto says he tells to all of his students he wants they should all close their eyes and everybody should place his right arm on the shoulder of the person sitting near him and the left arm the left hand on the shoulder of the person sitting near him the balchemt of elena himself sitting at the table he takes both of his holy arms and he places them on the shoulders of the two students who are sitting on his two sides to his right and to his left so now they're all connected by virtue of their hands interlacing them and interconnecting them and the mahashantiv begins to sing a melody and remember all their eyes are closed and they're all connected to the balsamic and they're all singing the directed by the who began this and at that moment the doors of perception are cleansed and they are allowed to see reality on a deeper level you know the soul has infinite vision the soul could see from one end of the world to the other end of the world because the vision of the soul is not hindered it's not mitigated by the unique properties and containers of the retina so when the soul comes into the body and we're blessed with eye vision we could see but our seeing our vision our eyesight is limited hopefully our vision is not as limited helen keller said the only thing that's worse than not having eyesight is lacking vision but the soul itself is capable of seeing much more in fact the gemara is the ghazal tell us that the light that god created the first day messiah it says the first day hashem said let there be light that light you could see to the other end of the world but then he hid that light it says gun it was too too intense gonzalez said they can be hid that light and in the future it's going to be used but those who live in the future they can use that light today so the mosham have had access to that light the zoyo says hashem hit it in the tire if you know how to return you can have access to that light and it allows you to see to see reality on a diff to see a different layer of reality and to be able to see distances that we usually don't see the balsamic gave them that gift at that moment they went into that state of consciousness where the doors of their perception were cleansed and this is what happens suddenly they have a vision they see this man above rambella's tennis sir sitting at the seder table with his wife and his children in their little town called bellish senate they're sitting at the cedar they live in a small home he's a poor man they live in a small room they're the seder is in a small room a fantastic layman caleb on the table there's a few earthenware vessels clay harris very cheap you know earthenware vessels there's no you know fancy beautiful exquisite pieces of furniture or or or cutlery on the table or vessels on the table it's layman that laymen are earthenware and he didn't even have enough money to be able to have many candles that had a little oil that he can afford to have some candles obviously a light jumped off candles so his wife lit candles so there was a little a little some of some some some fire on the table from the little oil that he had sitting with his family and they're sitting with tremendous joy and they're celebrating the sade so they're seeing a little room physically not very comfortable economically not very prosperous but emotionally there's a beautiful spirit there's just a beautiful ambiance there's semirabba there's a lot of joy everybody is happy to be there live and handlers this is this vision continues their eyes now travel to broad where the enlivened handler the successful linden merchant is also sitting cedar night with his family in his house in a lichtich grayson crader he has a big house it's a huge dining room it's bright it's luminescent a lot of candles everywhere by artisan great with culture and the table doesn't just have a little oil and a few earthenware vessels that are mostly empty the table is filled and saturated with everything you can ask for abba alas how do i translate this everybody's under blossom how do i say anger blows in a year dish everybody is angry everybody is upset anger blossom literally means anger blows and upon him is like an inflated face you know when you're like very stern and angry and upset and depressed and melancholy and anxious everybody is upset everybody's they're not happy with each other there's just what you would call a negative vibe a toxic atmosphere in the home everybody's upset at each other nobody's happy physically it's wonderful it's a beautiful room it's a beautiful table it's light it's bright it's luminescent you can't ask for anything more but emotionally they're miserable they're miserable with themselves they're miserable with each other at some point the balsamic removes his hands his holy hands from these two students and he stops singing the song and then he tells everybody to open their eyes and come back so the bashamtv really took them on a journey through his music through his soul through his depth through his consciousness he took them on a journey and now it was time to come back you know when you say okay come back open your eyes take a deep breath and the boshamtiv says to them here you see the difference between a jew who's self-aware a jew who works on himself or herself somebody who is not stuck in their comfort zones not stuck in their toxicity but operates from a place of expansiveness operates from a place of deep emotional psychological spiritual awareness in yiddish it's called somebody who really i challenge myself i open myself up to higher reality to a deeper reality there's a humility in me i'm ready to be vulnerable i'm ready for real self-transformation there's authenticity nothing replaces authenticity nothing replaces somebody who really works on themselves and that doesn't mean work on themselves that all day i'm busy thinking about me and i'm self-conscious that's not called working on myself that means i'm getting more stuck in myself it means working to be able to liberate myself from my self-consciousness to be able to really be in the moment to really be able to connect to the opportunity that exists right now to be able to emancipate myself for my self-consciousness and for my stress to be able to be present to show up for the people who are in my life right now to be able to really connect to my inner soul to be able to connect to god without expectations of what it's supposed to look like but to really tune into the opportunity to the gift of this moment so he says even though you have a person there he's not a scholar he doesn't know a lot he doesn't have a lot of vert for the sader he didn't purchase 40 haggadahs before pesach in the store or online and he could preach for seven hours about every type of shot and vert and remiss and drush and sod and geshmaq ideas and gdorium and halois and their hairs and mahalaks of the cedar the guy doesn't even understand hebrew he can barely read through the haggadah but because he works on himself so the bashamtv said in everything and in every moment he sees the beauty he sees the opportunity he sees the opportunity to connect he also appreciates every person where they are he appreciates them he can love people he can respect them and therefore in all circumstances he is a happy person and he's in a good place you want to be around him and even though the table is empty there's not enough food for the children in this yamatov the joy is inside he may be missing things some things may be difficult but there's an inner simcha that's which like says better dry bread but there is peace there there is serenity there there is tranquil tranquility there rather than biased malaysia than a home that's filled with meat and filled with abundance but it's full of fighting it's full of negativity it's full of toxicity give me dry bread but it should be salvaba there should be peace in the bread there should be peace in the kitchen there should be peace in the dining room then a house that has everything but you don't want to walk in there the vibe is then you have another person and he works he also he's a good man he's trying he works with his brain he works with his heart he's davinci he learns hagam this is a greater but if he never learned how to really live a life of middle stuyvesa what does it mean the life of mr stuyves to know how to really connect to know how to really connect to his spouse to know how to really connect to his children to know how to really connect to god to know how to really connect to himself to know how to really really connect he's not suffering from attachment disorder there's real connection is this bias molly's if it could be a home that's filled with everything but they're all anger blossom they're all under stop they're all on the blossom there they're they're not happy and he continues that's the meaning of the passage there's tremendous peace for those who love your torah the mind then continues on to another theme and it reaches its conclusion but this is the crux of the story about the holy bashamtiv and his two students ibnas and live and handler and abraham belichick what does this tell us what it tells us is when it comes to the seder i think the most important thing is not to live in the delusional world of expectations i come with expectations what it's supposed to look like what my wife is supposed to look like what i'm supposed to look like what my kids are supposed to look like what my grandkids are supposed to look like what type of ambience there has to be and i'm disappointed and i'm let down i'm not there they're not there people are nervous people are anxious but friends learned from rabbi rambella's senator along with the basham is saying it's about where i am are you really at peace with yourself can you embrace reality can you just realize that to say there is is exactly the way it's supposed to be because if this is how it is this is how it's supposed to be god tells martian the place where you're standing on a sacred if this is the situation this is exactly how it's supposed to be this is where hashem is this is how we're going out of mitzrayim can you tune into this moment with serenity without judgment don't judge yourself and don't judge everybody else just really tune in and can i open my heart and can i really love and connect to all the people that god has given me in my life without giving them names and without labeling the situation and without describing what my family is and what my family is not and what my children are and what my children are not and who my wife is and who she's not and who my husband is and who he's not and who i am and who i'm not let's go out of mitzrayim you know what mitzrayim as much time as labels names descriptions those are all mitzrayims those are all things that keep us confined and limited we love labels can i go out of that i don't have to give anything names and descriptions that's what it means tuning on into god god has no names god has no name doesn't mean to tune into god tune into the fact there's no name for this reality but i want to tune into the truth i want you to hear what i'm saying because this is this is so important in life tuning into hashem every moment means tuning into a reality that is nameless god doesn't have god transcends names all the names we give for hashem are just individual ways of perceiving him through a certain filter that's why we're learning in the morning i am who i am i don't have a name could you not give your children names can you not give your family labels could you not give your say their descriptions tune into god don't give it a name there's no name it is exactly what it is it's a reflection of hashem's infinity he's here be here just connect open your heart to the people who are in your life everybody's on their own journey everybody's trying to leave live mitsuram let's be in us in a more peaceful place now i know that it's easier said than done because there's a lot of triggers a lot of things come up a lot of thoughts especially if that's why it's so important for me to be worked out it's so important for me to open myself up to all of the type of help that i maybe need in order to be able to be in this real real space of attachment of connection and this is the main teaching of the balsamic that change above rom my hands can be generous i can be out there but my hands are still are not giving the people what they really need because my heart is not there my connection is not there i can't just follow the rules it's not about a checklist it's about connection it's about attachment there's nothing that replaces that when it says to say to teach your child vegada who it's not a sermon i'm not giving you a speech my children don't need my speeches i should tell that to myself right my children don't need my speeches they need me they need you they need your soul they need you they need your heart beautiful vitamin c label sausage beautiful vert why is it called pesach why is pesos called pesach we all know passover because god passed over what did he pass over he passed over jewish homes right it says in parishes by and exodus god says that night you're going to have we're going to have the the marcus previous midnight vehicle at midnight every first male born in egypt dies from a sudden pandemic from a sudden plague but i'm going to pass over a peso i'm going to jump over i'm going to leap over the jewish homes so when it comes to a jewish song god is gonna i'm gonna jump and that's why we have the name pesach it's a little strange right god jumping over homes and that's the name of the holiday and my shalap sausage said the meaning of it is that when god comes to a jewish home and he's about to approach this jewish home you know what he does he says hashem comes to a jewish home he starts jumping and dancing you know when you dance and you jump you take leaps and you skip over he's dancing can you do that can you look at everyone who's around your table and start dancing these are the people god gave me in my life they're not perfect i'm not perfect we're all on a journey can i really embrace them can i really connect them can i really just appreciate them appreciate them doesn't mean i agree with everything it doesn't mean they don't make mistakes i also don't make mistakes but it doesn't mean they're trying hard they're on their journey they're trying to figure things out dance appreciate them bond with them connect with them and finally avoid ever maisha of cobrin and then we open up the questions the holy rep my shop cabrin one of the great masters waldek he said you know i elaborated on this we have on the yeshiva.net a lecture called you're stress-free pesach cedar you're stress-free you could put it in the search or go to pace you're stress-free pay success which you may enjoy you may want to watch from a few years ago you're sweat you may you may enjoy it so there is uh there is a a vart over my shoe of cobrin he said as follows what do we tell the rebellious child if you would have been there you would have never been liberated how is that going to help him can you tell me tell your child if you would have been in egypt nobody would have taken you out great wonderful mommy mommy you're so brilliant tati that was a stroke of genius telling me that if i would have been there i would have never been liberated okay thank you in other words i'm a lost case wonderful ramoshav cabrin says no no no no open your hearts he says actually you're telling him something so special what is he saying about himself he's saying what's all these things that you're doing they don't belong to me i'm not part of this he doesn't really see how he can be successful here how he has something to contribute how he has something to give there's no happiness here for me there's no future here for me luffy hoytsie atsume he doesn't feel connected to you he doesn't feel attached and that's why he has to justify it so kapha beaker how do you justify it it's hard for me to say i'm in pain because i'm not attached so what do i say kaphra baker i don't believe in god it doesn't start with not believing in god it starts with having attachment disorder and now i have to explain to myself who i am so i say oh i don't believe in god so i make a new life for myself you know what we tell this boy we say illu you know if we would have had that attitude we would have never ever left egypt we would have looked at ourselves and said we can't leave we are destined to be slaves forever but we knew that people are capable of transformation people are capable of renewal people are capable of reinventing ourselves we're actually giving him the most powerful message understand that this attitude is what would have kept us enslaved forever becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you are probably right thank you very much let's open up the floor for some questions and dialogue question beautiful teachings thank you touching you gave me a memory growing up by my parents and they used to use the word um i didn't know what it means i guess it means a gloomy attitude yes a gloomy grouchy out there anger blossom is like you're saying you divorce it's too as i anger blood it's like i'm sitting and everybody sees that i don't want to be here you know i'm not interested in being i'm just angry i'm upset i may be doing all the right things but i'm gonna blossom you know sometimes you come to a table and you feel it right away you can have everything is perfect but nobody wants to be there there's just no flow of energy everybody is anxious they may not even know why and then sometimes you come to a table there's nothing to eat but there's a good vibe there's people there you want to connect you want to connect next question uh could you explain what god says when it comes to the house of a jew yet a martial ape sausage says god says that god starts dancing and jumping here lives a jew here lives a jew here that's what pesach is pesach is that when you come into your home we even look at your home from the roof you start dancing and jumping and making leaps and jumps celebrating who lives here and i think maybe that's the most important thing that's why the name is pesach the most important thing is that we should be able to connect to those people in our lives can you also celebrate them just celebrate them celebrate them exactly exactly where they are and tune in and connect and it's not about teaching and giving a sermon it's about sharing your soul sharing your love sharing your deepest ideals sharing your faith sharing your vulnerability rabbi how do you recommend helping everyone at the seder to feel that they themselves have left egypt oh i can only do that if i work on myself leaving egypt you know if i myself leave egypt then i exude that energy you know when you're around a person who's free you know when you're around a person who's not self-conscious you feel it right you're around a person who has a halo of refinement of light around them it affects everybody my wife told me this morning she said she said if we're calm inside everybody is changed in the house and it's very true if we are calm inside everybody becomes calmer remember that kids pick up much more than you pick up much more than i pick up they pick up the subconscious right they pick up the subconscious i'm going to tell you something very very deep why is it that we hide daffy caiman and who exposes it who finds that for climbing and brings it back to us our children you know why because what we hide they expose whatever you hide whatever i hide my child is going to find and bring it to the fore for many generations we have been hiding our afikaimans very very very well we have become professional afikomon hiders this has been going on for hundreds of years maybe thousands of years we have suppressed our feelings or we have suppressed our feelings not because we're bad it's called survival skills it's called coping mechanism nobody was bad nobody everybody was just trying to survive and put one foot ahead of the other foot so we could continue our journey and you know what we're here but there comes a point towards the end of the cedar when our children say tati and mommy it's time to face the afique man you know that section in the cedar is called suffon you know what suffer means suffer means hidden so one of the great hasidic masters said that this is the time to bring out all the things that are hidden and deal with it this is the only way we can leave egypt is it's commemorating the carbon pacer which represented the key staple food of the seder representing inner emancipation and liberation and freedom and freedom as you know doesn't mean that the gates are open i have to choose freedom you can open the gates but i refuse to leave i have to choose him i have to choose to go out so my children show me the afikaiman and say if we all want to be free let's not hide from our afrikaimans let's look at them let's see them and let's use them as a springboard for awareness for rejuvenation and then together we could say la shanahabba birushal i am next question do you push your adult child to join the seder when they have absolutely no interest listen if you have a way of inviting them but a way that they will not feel that you're judging that you have an agenda that you're trying to pressure them which will probably make them say no if you can have a genuine genuine love for them in your heart if you can be proud of who they are even if there's disappointment and pain if you can really understand that they have their own struggle that they're trying very hard that they're doing the best they can maybe and that god loves them the way they are even if he takes pride in what they can be can you really connect to them on that level and invite them from that space then yeah push them and pressure them if you're dealing with an adult child i don't know how you're going to be successful i mean i don't you know your relationship with them much better than i do so you have to really judge that but what i would suggest is that if you could come from a real place of connection that may work but remember without expectations they may say no and you have to be fine with that in other words don't be nice on condition that they say yeah and when they say no it's like you rotten apple you rotten potato why are you in my house if that's what's gonna happen it's just gonna make the relationship worse and it's not good for you it's not good for them so no expectations you just be nice you be loving you be connected you connect to them to the best of your ability now i know it's easier said and done i know i'm not i'm not here you know shooting out brilliant ideas you know from a detached place i'm not i'm not coming from a detached place at all i know that this is difficult but this is our work this is what the balsamic teaches i can't change other people i have to change myself we are so good in preaching to everybody else besides talking to ourselves and sometimes i can't talk to myself let's face it sometimes i have traumas and words are not gonna help you all know by now that the body keeps the score you all now but you all know by now that you know somatic therapy they're not they you know the the leaders of samaria therapy says there's places that words will not achieve words will not achieve anything there's trauma sitting in my body and in my amygdala and i have to deal with it so that's my own work my onitsi is betraying man i may be there to say tonight i may not be there to say tonight but at least i could be open to all these truths and and try to operate from a much more expansive godly place remember god has no names don't give your children names that's what it means to be in touch with god you don't give your kids names and labels god has no labels you allow infinity to play out to play itself out next question beautiful comments i'm on the chat comments now and then we'll go to the website comments i'm on the zoom commons i love i like your insight about what we hide our children reveal it resonates yeah yeah you're not the only one it resonates for [Laughter] next i find expectations of myself and family easier to deal with in a healthy way but i struggle more with expectations i feel from guests and community is that really just expectations for myself listen it's very normal you know ultimately family is family and you know we're not disowning family it's all part of me my my husband my children my wife it's part of me with strangers with people in the community it's a little different but i think a similar principle applies i can only spread out my hands and give people food i also want to be able to connect to people's hearts and everybody's on their own journey and again i think boundaries are important and if you have certain needs you have to articulate them you know i don't think it's healthy to be able to give and give and give and give and you're frustrated and you're resentful and nobody's giving back and you're just angry i think it's important to create the boundaries that work for you you know especially people who are out there in communities and helping a lot of people and giving and giving i think it just has to be in a way that you know you don't feel used and and exploited so that's important as soon as you have to communicate to people according to to your needs but but not from a place of weakness and not from a place of anger not from a place of resentment from a place of inner confidence and wholesomeness and really you know we always want to see the best in people and try to bring out the best in people and i think when we operate from that space people can respond how do i help how do i set up healthy boundaries you're not being specific in what area i mean if you could be more specific maybe i could say something but the first and foremost thing is awareness of who you are and who you're not and try to emancipate ourselves from codependence i cannot live other people's lives i can't even live my children's lives i can't i can teach i can educate i can live by example i can model i can be calm i can be loving but you're not mine you're gods and you have to live your life i can't live your life for you i can't the more we can integrate that the freer we can become i want to also this is a commercial for two classes i gave this week that i think you'll gain a lot sunday i gave a class entitled when i don't need anything i can go free this was a class to uh to where was it chicago to the chicago community and it's on the yeshiva.net it went up yesterday it's on the home page when i'm free i don't when i don't need anything i can go free i know it sounds counterintuitive but watch it i think you'll gain from it and the second class was sunday morning i did one with young israel of century city los angeles shabbos russia it was titled entitled the double dip of jewish history why we dip twice really fascinating historical exposition if you want interesting inspiring material for the seder while you're cleaning the kitchen and making cushion a piece of cheesecake this may be a nice a nice addition okay next question beautiful questions thank you you know i like when people ask questions because it means they were listening okay let me tell you how i reduce my anxiety at the seder i say just do it drink four cups of wine no grape juice nobody is anxious after so much wine either they're sleepy or they're happy that must have been a man writing no who do you think what do you think but yeah i get it i get it you're saying just drink four cups of wine and follow the system of the sages you don't have to come up with any other ideas but i still think what the valhamtiv said is very very valuable next question what were the names of the two students rab nasa enlivened handler and okay practice rabbavram bellish senator he came from a town called bellish senates the other one was livened handler he was a merchant of livent which is linen i love how you explain the different vibes that we can have at the seder how can you make sure that you have that vibe when you are solely responsible for people sader it's just you and your husband no outside help because of locked borders everybody is on lockdown but there's going to be lots of people there is so much responsibility the stress will be on how can i tell myself all these beautiful ideas when the anxiety and the stress will be very much there wow that is a good question you know it's all nice in theory but the bottom line is i'm gonna get stressful i'm gonna get anxious and how do i deal with it first of all thank you for this question i think it's uh it's such an important question uh the first thing is and i i i i'm not such i'm not so good with practicalities i have to be honest i need i still need help with that so maybe one of the women here wants to answer this question um because they'll give it like a very practical touch that i probably will not be able to do it's just my own mitzrayim that i have to work on you know gotta come down a little bit bring it down so i'm just you know i'm just thinking i'm not saying anything authoritatively but it's it's the first question on the yeshiva.net on the class maybe some people could give some comments or you could sit write it on the chat and i'll say it but i think a few things may be helpful first of all to know what to know what to anticipate meaning you know no you know what's happening so like you see it coming like you know this is what's going to happen so you could brace yourself in other words it's not something spontaneous overwhelming that's going to startle you you know there's certain things you know that's coming and your and and you could prepare for it somebody a therapist told me that there's a couple that's going somewhere for the seder and he does not get along with his in-laws so he does not want to go but his wife really wants to go and the therapist said make a checklist of everything your father-in-law might say to you that's going to really really get you angry so that when he says it you'll look at your wife and you'll just check it off the checklist in other words you're prepared for it so and he said it was the best pace ever because it was like it was like here we go you know instead of oh and he said this they made a list of like 40 obnoxious comments that they expect and when he's sitting at the table his father-in-law says so he looks at his wife they smile check again you know if you could prepare yourself for what's coming and you see it coming i think it can help number one number two you may have to say no maybe certain things you can do without or maybe you need other people to help with certain things so that's i think also helpful another element is do you have tools to be able to breathe to be able to be aware to be able to calm down your nerves you know there's a lot of mindful mindfulness techniques somatic therapy techniques meditation techniques is this the ability is this something that you can do when spaghetti spaghetti hits the fan and you're feeling overwhelmed do you have a way to go into your body to observe what's happening to respect it to create space for it not to judge it and to be able to give yourself the tools ground yourself you know there's different tools that they discuss which you can look up or you can ask somebody to really be able to sit in the moment to be able to experience what you're experiencing be able to experience it and to allow your body to really release it and then you can operate from a place that is much more integrated you don't want your prefrontal cortex overriding your amygdala you don't want that we're all good at that jews ashkenazic jews are good at that the prefrontal overrides the amygdala and our primal self goes into hiding that's the afikaiman and then it comes out in weird ways you want to work with your amygdala and bring it into the situation it's extremely important somebody says to have the tools for all the physiological things that are reflexive it may also help for you you need rest maybe some exercise is good for you um awareness is so important so important to be prepared and also let go let go and ask yourself if this will matter in 10 minutes or also in 10 years and in 10 months i'm quoting one of the women here who wrote in other words some things you have to let go it's not going to be perfect will the effects be in 10 years will this destroy your home what about 10 months you know if it's not affecting you in 10 months and in 10 years we could let go some things remember above rama seder had a little oil and some earthenware vessels but they were happy they were in a good place don't get attached to what things have to look like let go of these things okay this is a vote for a beautiful mimer it's been the best preparation for pesach for me helps keep everything in perspective helps me to prepare for and enter yamtif with the wrong right headspace that is beautiful beautiful feedback and i really appreciate it you're a true kindred spirit and a great soul as i wrote you by email your class for chicago about not needing things and letting go was so helpful and meaningful i want to really recommend it oh stephanie mazeltov i really want to recommend it to everybody because i think it's going to be very helpful okay next question beautiful questions and comments thank you is any of this that you said practical i love that i don't know what's not practical this is all about practicalities i think this is as practical as it gets you know we are so used to living a judaism that is robotic so it's like you know we say everything we do everything we know all them and hug him and the rituals and the halakhas but i don't think we're there anymore i think we need experiential judaism i think we need experiential pesach i need we i think we need experiential davenings i think we need experiential learning we need experiential yiddish guys we need experiential love we need experience i have to feel it in my body and my gut and my kishkas you know we're all living in a time of goo we're preparing for what do you think is going to happen when mashiach comes godliness is going to flow through the veins of our body in other words we're going to be able to be tuned in to the experience of the divine and that's where we want to go to today that's that's that's the place to be these are the places you want to hang out these are the places i want to hang out in with i come to a class there's people here on the zoo who go to a lot of classes educated women talented women intellectually enriched women teachers mentors principals and on the on the yeshiva.net a lot of people here you know you all go to classes there's classes that are just my wife sometimes tells me i listened to this class and it was just dead it was dead the speaker could be screaming but it's dead it's dead i said what do you mean it's dead he's a good speaker no the information was dead you know what you know what it means and for the speaker was good and he meant well or she meant well but it's just like you're repeating things that your mother said your grandmother said don't repeat stop repeating nothing wrong with repeating but we have to live it i have to experience it i have to whenever you experience something it's alive when you repeat it it's dead we have to stop giving dead classes that classes doesn't mean boring classes dead classes means their information is dead it's not alive because it's not coming from depth it's not coming from from my soul it's not coming from my body it's not coming from my energy i'm just like repeating things i'm like a robot my computer can do it better you know my computer knows everything google does it much better you have all the information don't information is important i love information you know i give information i try to give a lot of i try to give a lot of information i love information but the information needs to be alive so i think that's what you're struggling with you're used to like many of us are used to we're used to a certain way of talking about things and i think we need a much deeper level of experience i think the children need it in schools today i think i think children in schools need to not only do the rituals and say what you have to do but really be given the tools to experience it i don't have the answers to all the questions i don't have a clear curriculum of how to do it but i think this is what we want to think about giving children the tools to be able to experience their souls their bodies their minds to experience god experience oneness and give them the tools to be able to deal with their own moods and their own challenges and their own fears and their own insecurities this is this is so important but i can't give anything to anybody if i don't uh if i don't go there okay this has been great i thank you very much for the opportunity and the experience i wish you all a question afraid a meaningful a meaningful and happy and genuine and authentic festival of liberation and uh tomorrow morning we're going to have a 7 30 morning class continuing and concluding the mimer of the altareb of the balatanya but the secret of matzah the concept of a munna real amuna last night by the way we had a great session about dating it was for bakram for boys and young men who are in the dating scene before dating in the middle of dating trying to date dealing with dates it was really interesting it went for like i think two and a half hours i think from like 10 till 12 15 or 12 30 it was really great some amazing questions came up i didn't expect the question a lot of the questions really really good questions genuine stuff and i know this is officially a women's class but i'm still gonna recommend it i'm still gonna recommend it because i think it's good i think it's good for people to hear what is going on what boys are experiencing you know we're gonna have one after peso for girls we did one for parents and last night we did for boys so you can also watch it on the yeshiva.net okay have a beautiful beautiful yamtif i send you all my light all our light and all the blessings let's keep it real and let's allow ourselves to experience real freedom by aligning ourselves with the true infinite vibe that vibrates through the core of our beings and exude it to all the people around us without judgment but with deep deep connection and deep deep love