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Why You Shouldn't Yell At Your Child
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It is all too common for parents to mistake a child's mental health struggles for bad behavior or rebellion. This powerful message highlights the crucial difference between a child acting out and a child suffering from deep emotional pain. By comparing mental health battles to physical illnesses, this perspective challenges parents to rethink their discipline approach. Sometimes the best way to teach is to offer grace and stability before expecting compliance, realizing that a child in crisis needs empathy, not criticism. #parenting #mentalhealth #empathy #childpsychology #parentingtips
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
What's the matter with you? How could
you do this? Why are you doing this?
You're being so selfish. Teaching
muscle, showing upset, frustration.
Then you now in the nefesh ha'alah to
the emotional pain person who is only
acting this way because of pain. You're
now causing them to feel again hated.
And everybody will tell you you're
right. Parents have a right to have
rules and boundaries. You should show
that you're not happy about this
behavior. You have to make them feel
that there's a line. But you don't
realize what you're doing to the kid in
pain. Mashal l'ma adama da'ima. What is
it similar to? And we all understand a
kid who's a tzaddik tzalah, a great kid.
And they get sick. Let's say they have
mono.
Mono, you could be sick for 2 months,
for 3 months. You can't even lift
anything. You can't
And imagine instead of caring because I
know I have a diagnosis of mono. So my
kid doesn't get up for shacharis. I
don't yell at them. They're sick. They
wake up at 4:00 in the morning you say,
"I am
Tell me when you need breakfast. Oh, you
want to eat breakfast? No problem.
Whatever you want." Everybody's nice to
Chaim. Why? He didn't go to shacharis.
He didn't He didn't daven nicely. He
didn't go to minyan. He didn't learn.
What do you love about him? What's so
good to love about him? Anaras at least
palalti. What? Anaras at least palalti.
Come on. I remember him kedem sheyechta.
I remember acher sheyechta. I remember
before before when things were normal. I
remember after now that he he's
struggling. He's sick.
Your friends come over Friday night and
he wakes up cuz he's all off schedule
and he comes to the shabbos table in his
pajamas and your friends say,
"That's the chinuch of your house? Azoy
kid means a shabbos tish?" And you say,
"No, no, no. He has mono.
He's sick."
Oh, he's sick. Everybody Oh, good to see
you. That's it. We all understand
physical.
You have a diagnosis on your child of
mental illness, of mental health issues,
anxiety. It's a machlah. Depression is a
machlah. PTSD is a machlah. Symptoms of
PTSD means that probably they went
through a trauma. You have to diagnose
according to the most likely scenario.
Look at the behavior, you'll realize
most likely something happened there to
this kid. A breakdown. They're going
through a breakdown. And now I'm going
to also make them feel bad?
And now I have to teach them like a
father told me, she she has no concept
of money. I have to teach her. He had
money.
Not that he didn't have money. Harder
when you don't have it. But he had it.
She has no I have to teach her the value
of a dollar.
You're right. But while she's in the
middle of having a heart attack?
She just got hit by a car. She's lying
in a pool of blood. Now I'm going to
start teaching her the value of a
dollar? Can we wait until she's stable?
Can we wait until she doesn't want to
die? Can we wait until she's functional
and then we'll teach her the value of a
dollar? Why does it have to be now?
And the surprise at the end as I always
say is, when she's functional, you'll
see she's going to know the value of a
dollar. Cuz your clinical was fine. Your
mechanical is the same as your other
kids. And they know what the value of a
dollar is. But not when you're
suffering.