Why the Sea Split… And What It Means for YOU Today - Passover 2026 - Rabbi YY Jacobson

We're living now, everybody can feel it probably in their bones, in extraordinary times, which was the theme of last week's class, with the war against Iran that began literally in the morning of Parshas Zachor, Asher Amalek, a few days before Purim, and still continues with full force as we can prepare for the redemption of Pesach. It's always important, I think, to be sensitive to the fact that even though we're not living in the Holy Land, precisely we're not living in the Holy Land, all the Jewish people are one body, literally one body, the Gemara says in Yerushalmi Maseches Nedarim, like limbs of one body, and that there are millions of our brothers and sisters often spending full nights in shelters and and mamad rooms, and somehow combining normal life in very, very extraordinary and not simple circumstances, to say the least. And uh even though we're living here in very different environment, every very different circumstances, but as brothers and sisters and really one family, Klal Yisrael is literally one family, and it's been that way thousands of years, and it's the source of our strength, our resilience, it affects us in ways that we know and we don't know, but it's literally like one body, it's literally limbs of a body, and those who are more sensitive feel it even more, even though it's true about every single Jew who's connected to every other Jew. I once said uh I once saw something very, very powerful, and that is uh the Sfas Emes says in the Haggadah, we say the "Shebe'ehe amda lanu u'lavoseinu, shelo echad bilvad amad aleinu lechaloseinu, bechol dor vador amdu lechaloseinu." You know, sometimes Jews, a few years ago, sometimes doubted, really now? We live in different times, you know, 70, 80 years after the Holocaust, beautiful country, beautiful democracies, peace in the world, and then suddenly out of the blue you saw that the words of the Haggadah were not, unfortunately, were not only ancient, but literally "Bechol dor vador amdu aleinu lechaloseinu, u'Hakadosh Baruchu matzileinu miyadam." So, the Sfas Emes gives an interpretation, he says "Shelo echad bilvad" literally, the meaning is, it's not just one who decided to annihilate us, you know, we had a Pharaoh, we had a Haman, we had a Hitler, it's not one. "Bechol dor vador" it's in every generation, but he said there's also a deeper interpretation. That even though that's true, he says it's the "Shelo echad bilvad" it's the fact that we are not echad, that is "Amad aleinu lechaloseinu." The "Shelo echad bilvad" it's a very emotional very emotional idea. In other words, people want to do what they want to do, but the power of a unified divine nation is so powerful that that trumps everything, pun intended. With the help of uh Trump sent by God, it trumps everything. >> [laughter] >> May Hashem give him the strength and the resilience not to back down in the face of so much pressure. It's not simple, it's not simple what's happening. Such a a unity between Israel and America, we haven't seen in any war fighting literally side by side. So, he said it's the "Shelo echad bilvad" that's really "Amad aleinu lechaloseinu." And it doesn't only mean on a global level, that's of course true, but also in a very, very individual way. And a beautiful example for this in the world of of of science and botany is, if you ever go to California, the area of San Francisco, you can go visit the sequoia trees, the redwoods they're called, redwoods, sequoias. These are the most ancient trees on the planet. Some of them date back 3,000 years, some 3,500 years, and some 4,000 years. That means you're looking at a tree that's literally literally been around from the days of Noach, uh Methuselah, uh >> [snorts] >> before Moshe Rabbeinu was born, and it's like real, like this tree has been here 3,500 years. It's like physical, you know, it's not an idea, it's not a concept, it's not a faith, it's literally looking at the tree. Now, scientists wondered a number of years ago, what would be the secret of the success of these trees? How does a tree gain such longevity? I mean, trees, like anything in nature, is threatened, right? You have forest fires in California, which are actually which are actually good for sequoias, but you have viruses, and you have infections, and you have bacteria, and you have weeds, and you have worms, and you have insects, and you have all different types of creatures that attack trees and take down trees. 4,000 years is a long, long time to live and grow, you're talking about a few hundred feet tall often. So, they imagined that the roots of such trees are so deep, maybe 50 feet deep, 100 feet deep, to be able to weather every type of storm, every type of tsunami, every type of attack, when you have such powerful roots, that's the source of longevity. How astounded they were a number of years ago when the technology was developed to be able to see what is happening on the subterranean levels under the earth, that the roots are actually very shallow. They're sometimes 4 or 5 feet deep. What is then the secret of this miracle? And then they realized something incredible. What the roots don't have in depth, they have in breadth. Meaning, when the sequoia tree the starts developing roots, that's the first thing, the roots like grow out on the bottom, they grow down, and they search for sources of water to be able to channel all the nutrients and the energy and the water that the tree needs, when the roots of a sequoia tree meet the roots of another sequoia tree, instead of just worrying about their own roots, they entangle themselves, they start embracing the roots of the other tree, and they make a yad achas, literally, like like they you could physically they entangle each other, like they embrace each other, and now they start searching for others, and when they find other sequoia trees, they all embrace each other. So, on the top of the earth it looks like you have 100 different trees, but if you go down, they're actually all hugging each other. So, they're not they're not deep, they're shallow, but in breadth you can have 100 trees, and all the roots are literally interconnected and integrated and intertwined with each other, and that you can't destroy. You know, a storm that could destroy one tree, they can't destroy so many trees together. Zeh sefer toldos Adam, the Jewish people are the sequoias of history. What exists in nature is always a reflection of the inner world. We are the sequoias of peoplehood, of of nations. And that's what the Sfas Emes means, "Shelo echad bilvad amad aleinu lechaloseinu." And it doesn't mean that the trees are one, because on top of the earth every tree has a different personality, different shape, different color, different flavor, different creed, different identity, there are distinctions, and those are not bad, those are actually blessings. But that's at the surface. If you go deep, deep down, and the deeper you go, the more you will encounter it, you'll see that there's an essential oneness. Like the Baal HaTanya says in Tanya perek aleph, chapter heart, chapter 32, that all neshamos are one, rak she hagufim mechulakim, the bodies they are manifested differently, which is the way it's supposed to be. Ein dayos sheyonos, our faces are not the same, our mindsets are not the same, and therefore the quality of our souls and what we manifest in this world is not the same, and yet on a deeper level, there is that oneness. So, therefore, as though we live distant, but that oneness is always at the core of everything and the success of everything, and the truth of everything, and the source of healing and blessing for everything. In all of this, we often feel and experience a tug in different directions. Like on one hand, you know, the separation has been called epic fury, and that's what a lot of people feel like, like epic fury. In Israel they called it "Sha'agas Aryeh" the roar of the lion, which is also not a very serene name. Or as some yeshiva boys are calling it "Sha'agas Aryeh" which is one of the very famous svarim in learning, "Sha'agas Aryeh" the roar of the lion. Actually, I should say "Lehavdil" but roar of the lion. Aryeh the navi says "Aryeh sha'ag, mi lo yira?" When the lion roars, who does not who does not tremble? If you ever heard a real lion's roar, you know exactly what that is like. It's it literally represents its dominance, and it demonstrates its power and its force. So, there is that that that intensity, that emotion. And yet on the other hand, everybody, even in Israel, and certainly it continues to live life, there's shopping, and there's laundry, and there's cooking, and there's cleaning, and there's preparing, and sometimes, you know, that is very, very it's always dealing with details and and and small things and family dynamics, and who's coming and how they're coming, and do we have enough beds, and who's getting ready, and how stressed are we, how not stressed we are. The combination often seems very, very very difficult, very challenging. And generally, Pesach is called "Zman Cheiruseinu" it's a time of liberation, and yet people know that the stress before Pesach and the levels of dysregulation are from the highest throughout the entire year. So, I would like to address this on a very in a more personal, psychological way, but through the Haggadah. And I want to focus on one piece, be'ezras Hashem, one piece of the Haggadah that we're all familiar with, even though usually when we come to this part of the Haggadah, exhaustion has saturated pretty profoundly, and some people have already lost all their patience, and they're ready for "L'shanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim" or even for "Chad Gadya" and certainly for the main course, but every piece of the Haggadah is really a priceless nugget. So, before Pesach, when we still have a little more serenity to focus on it, gives us perspective as we experience it and we say it on the night of Pesach, "Haba'inu al kol Yisrael letovah u'livrachah." is, of [snorts] course, the famous Dayeinu piece. And the piece of dayenu begins with kama mailis toivous lamakoin aleinu. As you could see in your first source sheet, I quoted it from I took it from the Haggadah, one of the Haggadahs. And we start going through a list. A list of things we're grateful for. But it's built in an interesting way. We don't just say we're grateful for this and this and this and this. We do it in a very interesting way. And that is known as dayenu. It would have been enough this with this. And it would have been enough with this. And it would have been enough with this. It would have been enough with this. Right? So we say, ilu itzi'anu ilu ilu itzi'anu I don't want to bring nightmare. I want to remind you of >> [laughter] >> ONE GUY WHY YOU RUSHING? SING IT SLOW. Don't sing it. Just get through it. Whatever. Okay. Every family with its own beautiful dynamics. Just stay present and breathe and enjoy the moment. So ilu itzi'anu mimitzrayim v'lo asah bahem shvatim dayenu. If he would have taken us out of mitzrayim and not make shvatim in them, which means not um execute judgment on the Egyptians, that would have been sufficient. Dayenu, it would have been enough. Like dai. Ilu asah bahem shvatim v'lo asah b'elohayhem dayenu. If he would have If he would have executed judgment on them but not on their gods, dayenu. Ilu asah b'elohayhem v'lo harag b'chureyhem dayenu. He could have executed judgment on their gods but not killed their firstborns, would have been beautiful. Ilu harag b'chureyhem v'lo asah b'elohayhem He could have done that but not given us their money. WE WOULD GO OUT WITHOUT THEIR MONEY. DAYENU, free people. Ilu asah b'elohayhem v'lo karah lanu et hayam dayenu. Could have given us their money, not split the sea, it would have been beautiful. Dayenu. Next. Ilu karah lanu et hayam v'lo he'eviranu b'tocho b'charavah dayenu. If he would have split the sea for us but not have us pass through the sea, through dry land. Dayenu, it would have been enough. Ilu he'eviranu b'tocho b'charavah v'lo shika tzanenu b'tocho dayenu. If he would have passed us through dry land but not have them drown in the land in in the sea, dayenu, it would have been enough. And so he goes through everything all the way till coming into Eretz Israel. Dayenu. And then we finish al achas kama v'chama toivous v'chama kepelous lamakoin aleinu she'hotzi'anu mimitzrayim v'asah bahem shvatim v'asah b'elohayhem v'harag b'chureyhem v'nasan lanu et mamonam v'karah lanu et hayam all the way all of this al bonah al base hachurvah al kol niseinu. That is the piece of dayenu. The meforshim of the Haggadah, the Haggadah has quite a lot of commentators, quite many this quite many many commentaries on the Haggadah for many generations, focus on one something that's very enigmatic. And that is dayenu means it would have been enough. It would have worked. And we want to be grateful for it. What is the point of doing it this way? The point is that gratitude always comes by having the ability to be able to see not just one big thing but to be able to be able to really in a granular fashion identify this point and this point and this point and not take anything for granted. Like we spoke last week about walking on dry land. It's the idea of not taking anything for granted. Because then there is so much more appreciation. But there's something strange. He says ilu karah lanu et hayam v'lo he'eviranu b'tocho b'charavah. He would have split the sea and we wouldn't have passed in dry land. What would that look like? What's the dayenu? The He splits the sea and we don't go through. Why? Either the water comes back or he doesn't want to take us through, whatever it is. So we're stuck. The Egyptians came to take the Jewish people back to Egypt. I could understand the next one. He took us through the dry land and he didn't have them drown. Maybe they got afraid. They backed off. Okay, we're free. But the first one, you split the sea and we're still stuck on the other side. What's the dayenu? So some meforshim want to say there's a sefer called Zevach Pesach, the Maharal, that the focus is b'charavah. He didn't take us through on dry land. Meaning we went through and we got wet. The the the the the sea was muddy and dirty. So we didn't go through with luxury. It wasn't Krias Yam Suf deluxe. It was Krias Yam Suf, you know, economy. It wasn't first class. That's what they want to say. He would have taken us through but it would be schmutzik and smelly and it WOULDN'T BE GISHMAK. NOW IT was b'charavah. The question on that is though in Hebrew there's two words, charavah and yabashah. Yabashah is really dry. Charavah means semi-dry. We have it by the mabul. There was a time that charvah ha'aretz and yafshah ha'aretz. Yafshah is really dry. So the word should have been yabashah. He'eviranu b'tocho b'yabashah much more than b'charavah. That's number one. Number two, when we see in Tehillim kuf lamed vov, which we also say at the seder, it's known as hallel hagadol, where we do the 26 ki lo olam chasdo. Tehillim kuf lamed vov, over there he says l'gozer yam suf l'gzarim ki lo olam chasdo, that's the next source. He split the sea into different pieces. Gzarim is different paths. Ki lo olam chasdo, because his kindness is eternal. Then there's a new pasuk. V'he'evir Yisrael b'tocho ki lo olam chasdo. And he passed the Jewish people through it because his kindness is everlasting. What do we see here? Two separate psukim. There's one ki lo olam chasdo for splitting the sea. There's a second ki lo olam chasdo for taking us through the sea. Apparently one without the other would be inconsequential. I mean it's very nice to split the sea. It's a major dramatic event. But what would be the benefit if not us passing through there to be able to avoid our enemy that wanted to who wanted to bring us back to Egypt? So it should have said l'gozer yam suf l'gzarim v'he'evir Yisrael b'tocho ki lo olam chasdo. You see he says two separate ones and in two separate verses. One is kuf lamed vov pasuk gimmel. One is kuf lamed vov pasuk dalet. Verse 13 and then verse 14. So here you see again that there's two separate experiences. One is the splitting of the sea in and of itself. Then there's a second thing, we actually passed through it. And that's WHY THE HAGGADAH ALSO says there's two dayenus. One is karah lanu et hayam, just splitting the sea even if we didn't pass through it. And then there's a whole new chesed, a whole new dayenu. And that is he'eviranu b'tocho. He passed us He passed through it and then it was b'charavah. What what what is the inyan of this then? How how how do we how do we actually How do we actually understand this? What would be the benefit of splitting the sea in and of itself? So This is what we say in the Haggadah. We also know that the second half of Pesach, the last days of Pesach, celebrate Krias Yam Suf. The first days of Pesach celebrate the exodus of Egypt. On the seventh day of Pesach, Shvi'i shel Pesach, that's when the Jewish people walked through the sea early in the morning and that's why we read that we read that on Shvi'i shel Pesach and that's what we celebrate on the seventh day of Pesach, Krias Yam Suf. In fact, a number of years ago I got a call from somebody, quite a few years ago. He wants to He offered me an invitation to go on a cruise for Pesach where in the Red Sea. The boat would be in the Red Sea and it stay there for Pesach. Yeah, he invited me to come to speak there as scholar-in-residence. So I don't know what I didn't get so excited. He said imagine Shvi'i shel Pesach in the morning, you'll be saying shira, Az Yashir, we read the shira, Az Yashir Moshe u'vnei Yisrael, and Miriam's song and you'll be doing it where? IN THE YAM SUF, IN THE RED SEA. LIKE HOW CAN IT GET BETTER? So I told him, okay, I'll do it but with one condition, if you could guarantee that it's going to split. I want to say shira on the Krias Yam Suf. He said that I can't guarantee. So I said, okay, so I'm going to do it spiritually wherever I am. [laughter] But I still remember that invitation. I don't know if it ever worked out. I didn't hear about it. So we have a very special celebration for Krias Yam Suf. Now that's also very very interesting because actually what is fascinating is that Tosfos writes in Maseches Erchin, if you're familiar with the geography of how the Jewish people left Egypt and started their journey, they didn't have to go through the Yam Suf. They literally didn't need it. Not only that, according to Chazal, they went in a semicircle. They went in and they didn't go across. They came out from the same side. Literally the same side they went in. It was like a semicircle. They came up from the same side. So that's a interesting thing. That means that Krias Yam Suf wasn't a practical solution in order to get to the other side. It was rather an objective in and of itself. So you might say in order to drown the Egyptians. But just like there were other 10 plagues, he could have had a lot of other ways of getting rid of them. So this means that Krias Yam Suf had some inherent objective in and of itself. And that's why the Haggadah points out the dayenu of Krias Yam Suf itself. Let's understand what this is cuz this gives us a perspective not just on Pesach and on Krias Yam Suf and on dayenu but on all of life itself. And in order to appreciate this, we're going to learn a term from the Zohar today. You'll see in your next source. This is the introduction to Tikunei Zohar known as Pasach Eliyahu. And he says Hashem created two types of worlds. Almin stimin v'almin d'isgalin. Almin stimin literally means satum means concealed. Isgalin from the word gili means revealed. There are concealed worlds and there are revealed worlds. Now what does that mean? What does the Zohar mean concealed worlds and revealed worlds? So there's a ma'amar from one of the great masters known as the Mitteler Rebbe, the son of the Baal HaTanya, which begins with the words b'kea yam lifnei Moshe, which we say in the evening of Mayriv, Hashem split the sea before Moshe and the Jewish people, as it says in Kelim Anavim Amru. And there he gives tremendous perspective on this whole this whole idea of what Krias Yam Suf is and how it relates to our lives. And another interesting thing is that there's a halacha that we have to mention Krias Yam Suf every single day. In the Torah it says to mention Yitziat Mitzrayim every day. L'man tizkor Yitziat Mitzrayim kol y'mei chayechah. We say it also in the Haggadah. But in addition to that, Chazal say in Tosefta Berachot that there's a mitzvah to mention Krias Yam Suf there, and that's what we do in Shacharit twice. We do Az Yashir, we literally do the song every day, and then before Shmoneh Esrei there's a whole section Az Yashir Hashem Eloheinu where we go through the story of the splitting of the sea. Why is that so important? Apparently every single day Krias Yam Suf has to be remembered, including the dayenu. So the idea here is we could understand it through a physical contemplation of the difference between the sea and the dry land. Everybody knows there's a very special attraction in going to the water. When you go on vacation to the beach, there's something very special about it. Even people who live near the ocean often years later still marvel at the beauty, even though it says tinok she midi eno tinok, but nonetheless if you don't live by it, everybody knows there's a something very special that when you go to the water, you walk by the water, or you see the water, you wake up in the morning and you see a sunrise over the ocean or you take a cruise into the ocean, there's something very moving about it. So you could say on one level it's beautiful. It's really really beautiful. And it's true, it is it is beautiful. But there is always there's something much deeper. And what it is much deeper is it stirs something in a person. It reminds us of something. It's not just it's not just there's an ocean, it's water, the grandness, the expansiveness, which is all true, just watching the waves, hearing the waves, seeing the sight, the broadness, the expansiveness, that's all part of it. Water generally has something very special. Most of the body is made up of water. Our formation is in the amniotic sac of our mothers, which is of course we are submerged in water, and then there's a Krias Yam Suf, which the Arizal says birth is Krias Yam Suf. It's literally Krias Yam Suf when Kria means tearing, when things tear open and the souls can come out as the Jewish people went through it. There's something very deep about this experience. And that is the following. The difference between creatures that live in the sea or the oceans or the rivers and creatures that live in dry land, amphibian creatures that live in water, or creatures that live what's called by yabasha on dry land, like humans and mammals and so forth, is as follows. When you come to the ocean, you usually don't see the millions and millions or billions and billions of living fish and organisms under the water. If you ever went snorkeling, ever went snorkeling or scuba diving, it's an incredible experience because you go under the water and suddenly there's like a whole universe that you never knew about. The Gemara says kol mash kol mash bayam yesh bayabasha, kol mash yesh bayabasha yesh bayam. Whatever is on the is in the dry land you'll find in the sea, whatever is in the sea you'll find in dry land, but the difference is when you come to the seas or the oceans it's invisible. You have to go down and sometimes deep down, and even till today when there's so much research and so much incredible awareness, they still they estimate one or two million species of fish that they still don't know about. So you talk even today thousands of years after creation, millions of species of fish that they don't even know about. They push it don't know about. I'm not talking about actual fish. That's the billions, but it's talking about species, species of fish that they estimate we don't know about, even though we know already million. Most people can't name more than a few types of fish. Of course we have tuna, we have the hake, and we have the carp, and if you want you can mention gefilte fish and sushi if you really know about fish. But uh salmon, of course we won't forget salmon and Chilean sea bass and of course, and turbot and all of the other good stuff. However, there's still there's still so much we don't know about. Why? Because it's invisible. The creatures of dry land you see. Just like we see each other, and any creature on dry land, whether it's a squirrel or a deer or a bear or a groundhog or a raccoon or a lioness or an elephant or a tiger or a or an antelope or a giraffe, we could see it. So that's one difference. Creatures of the sea are invisible, creatures of dry land are chasuf, they're conspicuous, they're revealed. There's another difference. And that is, as Rabbi Akiva famously gave his metaphor, the moment you take a fish out of the water, it can't survive. Not only does it have to be near the water or on top of the water, it needs to be submerged in the water. It is so profound that there's a an opinion, it's not the halacha, but there's an opinion of Shimon ben Gamliel who holds that when somebody goes to the mikvah, a fish if a fish gets stuck, it's not a chatzitza. Again, it's not the halacha because fish are completely like one with the water. So they're not separate from water. That is the view of Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel in the Mishnah, even though the hachamim argue with him and they say person should take out the fish or part of the fish that gets stuck. It is a chatzitza. But what does this mean? What this means is that creatures of the sea, in order to live, they can't just they don't have to be near the water, they're completely submerged in the water. Submerged, submerged, invisible and inside the source of their life. People or creatures on dry land, we also live from the earth. We all need the earth. Hakol hayom min ha'afar. Without earth, nobody could live. Because it's earth that gives us all the produce. It's earth that trees that give us oxygen. Even if you're eating animals, the animals get their nutrients from the earth and what grows from the earth. So everybody needs the earth. But if you'll offer a person and say, "Oh, you need the earth, so why don't you go inside the earth?" We know that when somebody's put inside the earth, it means that they already passed away. Right? So it's exactly an it's exactly an opposite. It's exactly It's It's fine. It's exactly an opposite dynamic. If somebody comes to a fish and says, "You know, I would like to honor you for all your service to humanity and to the universe and to the planet for so many years, and therefore I'm going to invite you to come to a dinner, we're going to take pictures, we're going to make you famous, we're going to you know, give you a channel, a YouTube channel, everybody will talk about you, and and you'll you'll you'll get a lot of honor." And the fish, if it could speak, will tell you "Finish kein tov vis. Don't do me any favors. I would love to remain as invisible as possible forever. Because it's my invisibility that is actually the source of my life. The moment I become visible, too visible, maybe for a second I could jump up, that is death. If you come to a person and you say, "So why don't you go to the fish? Like be like the fish, right? Let's make you as invisible as possible. Go into the source." And that for a person or for a mammal means chas v'shalom the opposite of life. Birds fly above the earth. Even produce, it grows not inside the earth. It comes out. Fish remain inside. So what does this teach us? The meaning of life for a fish is to be eclipsed and covered and invisible, submerged in its source of life, which is the water. That which is life for the fish is death for a human being or a mammal living on dry land. What spells life for one creature spells death for the other. On the contrary, what spells life for us spells death for the fish if it would be taken out from being submerged and and and and invisible. Why? We can't live in the ocean and we can't live under the earth. On the contrary, that's the that's the space of burial. This is all a metaphor. It's a metaphor for life. There's two states of life. There's two states of consciousness. There is the consciousness of the sea and the consciousness of dry land. That's what the Zohar means. There's olam hatimmin and olam degalyan. Olam hatimmin is the world of water, and olam degalyan is the world of dry land. What is the difference? What is the difference? There is existence that is similar to the existence of the fish. When you're looking for the fish, it's invisible. He's inside the water, completely submerged in the water. And in fact, if you take out the fish to take a picture or to spend time with him, the fish says, "You're killing me, you're killing me." In other words, if you want me to be alive, you can't see me. I need to be covered over in the water, and that's the most beautiful place to be. What does this represent in life? This represents a state of life where there's no I, there's no ego outside of the source of life. Literally like a fish inside the water. So what is there? There is the water. THE FISH IS A FULLY ALIVE, BUT WHAT MAKES IT ALIVE? That it's actually not separate even for a moment. The moment you take it out even for 5 seconds, it's over. I once had a student and a very very deep soul. He was a baal teshuvah. And he told me that his teshuvah process began with an experience that he had when he was 4 years old. He wanted to have a gift, a goldfish, for his birthday. So his mother bought him a beautiful goldfish with a tank of water, and the goldfish was in the dining room and the living room, and he loved his goldfish. But he told me I felt bad for it. Life was so boring. The goldfish would stay in one place for like 12 hours, and then go to the other side, and then stay there for another 10 hours. I'm like, that's not a life. That is so boring and uneventful. There's no relationships. So I decided I want to become its friend. So I took out the goldfish. AND SUDDENLY IT BECAME LEVITIC. IT'S JUMPING. IT'S JUMPING UP AND DOWN. I PUT IT ON THE FLOOR AND I RUN TO THE KITCHEN. I SAY, "MA, THE FISH IS SO EXCITED to have a friend." And the mother is like, "What do YOU MEAN?" I TOOK IT OUT AND IT'S JUMPING ALL OVER THE PLACE. THERE'S EXCITEMENT. AND THE mother said, "Oy oy oy oy oy oy oy oy oy! YOU'RE KILLING IT." COMES RUNNING. At that moment, it breathed its last and it was gone. Yeah. I'm sorry. And this boy told me something very profound. He said, "I realized sometimes you see people and they're jumping all over the place. Every night there's another event. They're excited because they're busy dying. And sometimes you have a person in one space very, very calm. Very internal, very regulated, but they're busy living. Either I'm busy living or I'm busy dying. And living doesn't always look exciting on the outside. Sometimes it's actually the frequencies that are most invisible even to the ego itself. It's like, "Eh, it's nothing." It's everything. That fish was not lonely. That fish was not depressed. He was projecting his own stuff on the fish. And he said it taught him a lot as he grew up and he watched different friends of his. He asked himself, "Am I busy living or am I busy running from one distraction to another distraction?" And yes, there's always something going on. Every night THERE'S A NEW EVENT. But it's actually it's not really alive. So, now if we take this to the internal landscape of a person the life of the water, the life of the fish in the water, that's called almen stimen, a concealed word. What does it mean it's a concealed word? Not that it's not alive. That there's no separateness from the source of life. The source of life is what is visible. And the fish's entire objective is to be as invisible as possible, to be submerged completely. In order to explain what this means practically, I mean practically, what this means in our life, take a look at your next source. This is the third, the fourth source, the third to the last. The Baal Hatanya says very, very deep words. I'm going to translate and then explain. Every single existence and yesh that exists is really invisible and considered subsumed in the divine power that activates it and brings it into existence every moment from nothingness to somethingness. Why does every created being seem so real and its ego so powerful? Because we don't see the divine energy in it. If the eye would be given permission to detect the divine energy of every single creation that is flowing in it and through it from Hashem's mouth, we wouldn't even notice the physicality of it and its physical substance because it is completely subsumed in the divine energy. Cuz without that energy would be not and nothing like it was before the six days of creation. And it's the divine energy that flows in it, which is literally extricating it from nothingness into somethingness. And therefore, anything outside of it doesn't have a real existence besides embodying that divine energy. What is he saying here? Saying here something that the truth is, when this was written in the 1700s, it was hard to understand this. But today, actually, even in the world of science and physics, this language is already very, very common. So, one way of understanding it or just to try to bring it down a little bit is as follows. What he's really telling us here is that every physical reality that we touch, we see, within ourselves or in the world is really just a physical embodiment of divine energy. It's the divine energy becoming incarnated and assuming a physical manifestation, a physical identity. But it's the way our physical eyes can translate spiritual energy. And I'll give you a very interesting There was a very famous physicist, his name was Heisenberg. And he had a big fight with Albert Einstein about quantum mechanics and so forth. And he gave a brilliant, brilliant metaphor. He said there was a fisherman who decided that he wants to determine how many fish are there in the Pacific Ocean. So, he built this grand net and he put it down into the Pacific Ocean for a few weeks and then lifted it up and he had all these millions of fish. And he said there's no fish that's smaller than 10 in. And he became the laughing stock of humanity cuz in your own living room, you have fish that are smaller than 10 in. Your starfish, your goldfish. And then they realized he actually was a lying. You know what the issue was? The holes in the net were 10 in. The holes in the net were 10 in, so there were no fish smaller than 10 in. It's the tools that we use to define reality that will determine the nature of reality that we are going to define. So, now my eyes have a construct that God gave them. It's the retina. It's the way we process things. So, my eyes interpret divine energy as something physical. Just like there are colors we can't see. Birds can see them. There are sounds dogs can hear, we can't hear them. Not because they don't exist. Those colors exist, but our eyes simply don't have the receptacles, the sensors to be able to interpret it. So, what do we say? It doesn't exist. Cuz that's what it does. It doesn't say it exists and I DON'T SEE IT. NO, it doesn't exist. I don't have the Caleb. The way eyes interpret reality is it's physical. So, the Baal Hatanya says if we had microscopic eyes what would happen if we had actually microscopic eyes? If I'm looking at this beamer, you know what I would be seeing? I would be seeing trillions and trillions and trillions of atoms, literally. And it wouldn't be We call this domem. Domem means lifeless. This is anything but lifeless. As we're talking in the point of a needle, in the point of a pen, in the point of your pencil that you're using right now, in the pencil that you're using right now, whatever you're writing with, that point has atoms beyond what we can even say. It's not trillions, it's not zillions, it's beyond. Because atoms are the building blocks of matter, but it's so tiny the eye can't see it. So, the eye makes it a solid reality and we say this is it. So, who's right? They're both right. From an external perspective, it's one big solid. If you go a little deeper and you use microsco- you use a microscope, you see a whole different universe. So, the Baal Hatanya says if you go even deeper if you have a spiritual microscope, you know what you're going to see? You're going to see it's all divine energy. It's all basara mamarish nivra hoil. And as a result of that, he says when if you would see the world that way, you would just see the physical simply as just manifesting energy. Everything is manifesting energy. Our eyes, therefore our eyes cannot detect that. So, that's what he says. If the eye would have permission to see and the moment the eye does have permission to see, the whole world essentially is divine energy. It's a divine flow. And our eyes are interpreting it a particular way. So, now, now and and the truth is that even in plain, plain science and physics anything, anything in the physical world is made up of molecules. Everything. Molecules are atoms combined, literally. They're atoms combined. Every atom is made up of subatomic particles. Most of an atom, 99% of an atom is empty space, literally empty space. As somebody once said, half jokingly, that if you wanted to take actually the matter of the planet, anything that's real matter, it could fit into a carry-on suitcase because most of it is really, really empty space. And at the source of it all is baruch she'amar v'haya oilam, which is divine energy. The creatures of almen stimen feel this. They're aware of this. They have microscopic eyes that see the divine energy in everything. So, therefore, if you would come to such a type of creature and say, "I want to see you. I want to see your ego. I want to see you." And the person would say "You want to kill me. You want to kill me." The moment there's an eye outside of the source, it's like literally taking a fish and taking it out of the water and celebrating it. You're killing me. On that level of reality all ego is a death sentence. Because ego is easing God out. Ego, easing greatness out. Easing tru- It's It's it's detaching myself from the source of my life. The beauty of life here is the definition of life is that it's completely, completely submerged in cosmic oneness. And it's just channeling it, channeling it. There's no self-consciousness outside of that. There's no self-conscious. Self-consciousness is the greatest form of death. Some people live for ego, live for validation, live for attention. For a creature of this world, that's the worst thing in the world. The worst thing in the world is that you notice me, that even I notice me. BECAUSE THE VERY experience of a self outside of the source of life is already not just a migraine headache, but it's the greatest tragedy for this type of creature. It's literally like taking a fish outside of the water. That's called almond stemming. It's a world, it exists like fish, but completely invisible. What do I mean invisible? Not that it's not alive. It's invisible as anything outside of the source. It's completely alive, it's completely submerged. It just feels itself as a complete channel. Like we spoke many times by he can not gain, how many not gain. By he can not gain how many not gain when the one who sings becomes like the niggun itself. Just channeling, channeling, channeling the music. So, this is the reason the Gemara says that arrogance is like avodah zarah. Why? Why is arrogance like idolatry? So, the Tanya explains in chapter 22 something very, very powerful. Because why am I looking for ego? Why do I need you to validate me? Why do I need your attention? Why do I need to be boastful? Why? What is it? Why do I need people to adore me? What is it? The answer is cuz I'm so broken. Because I feel myself lonely and separate from the source. So, my eye is a broken eye. So, the eye needs somebody to build it up. So, the more you can validate me, the more my fake eye can start believing it has existence. And it's never enough. It's like the cup in the hole. You can pour and pour and pour and it never really fills it up. You know why? Cuz the eye doesn't really exist. Cuz the eye is really submerged in the source. So, really the eye doesn't want to be separate. The eye just wants to channel the source, which is Hashem. And that's why avodah zarah What's avodah zarah? Avodah zarah the source of avodah zarah is the idea that you are lonely, broken, separate from the source. The fish is outside of the water. So, the fish wants to live. So, the fish creates a new definition for life. And that is Imagine the fish is outside of the water and it wants to live. So, it says, "You know what? We're going to call death life." That's what we're going to do. So, the fish is now dead and we start calling it life and the fish starts imagining that it's alive and that's what the ego does. Literally, it's what it does. And that's why it's so torturous. That's why it's so torturous. Those who live in this frequency I used to live this. I'm speaking from experience. Those who live in this frequency I still sometimes live there. It's daily work not to live there. But, those who live who those who understand this struggle, it's very deep. It's not just an ego, it's anything where I am trying to build something that doesn't really exist. And yet I'm trying to give it validity and give it power and invest more in camouflaging the truth in order to be able to survive. Ultimately, it does not work. It's futile. Because the source of life is one source of life and the greatest bliss of the soul is to be completely submerged, submerged in that place. So, the beginning of the source of avodah zarah is not idolatry. The source of avodah zarah is that I think that I'm anything outside of a channel of the infinity. I'm broken, I'm alone. In fact, the word ra in Hebrew is evil, but the source of the word ra, the etymology is in Kli Yakar ruus ruach, which means broken. It's interesting. The word in Hebrew for evil is broken. In Gemara we have Bava Kamma, you could test your son kasel raua. A bad wall. What's mean a bad wall? How does a wall bad? The definition of raua is flimsy, shaky, wobbly, broken. Why? Why is that ra? Because the source of ra is a sense of brokenness. A sense that I'm separate I'm separate from the source. The source is one. Hashem echad. achdus. ONE. BUT, I'M SEPARATE. I'M BROKE. SO, ego now is broken. I'm I'm So, now and I want to live. So, I have to build IT UP. SO, NOW everybody finds ways how to build it up. One person needs validation, another person becomes a people pleaser, another person becomes a high achiever, another person is in control of everything, another person becomes everything has to be predictable, everything Whatever it is, I find mechanisms in order to be able to feel that I'm small and safe, but at least I'm in control. I'm in control. Now, it gets depleted to tomorrow, I need more stuff and more stuff and more stuff. Some people do it through binging and some people do it through their phone and some people do it through distractions and some people do it through crushes and different types of relationships and all different types of things. But, the point is I'm trying to feed a self that is desperately looking to nurture something that is essentially broken. And that's why ga'avah arrogance is called avodah zarah. It's not a judgmental statement. It's more a compassionate statement to understand what I'm looking for. I'm looking for to invest and validate my most broken, non-existent part. So, therefore almond stemming is a world where this is so clear that I don't want anything outside of the source. In fact, visibility is a punishment. You know, the Baal Shem Tov once told his students When the Baal Shem Tov revealed himself, he said he was told by his teacher Achiyah Hashiloni that because he sinned, whatever his sin was, he's going to be punished. And what's the punishment? The punishment is that he has to reveal himself to the world. So, what for the whole world was a reward, the greatest light that existed for him was a punishment. Like Moshe Rabbeinu, shlach navi at shlach. Right? It's hard for people to understand this cuz so many people they search for the attention. But, real, real people is the exact opposite. They did it because it's a shlichus, cuz that's what Hashem wants. Moshe Rabbeinu had to come out and the Baal Shem Tov had to come out and so forth. But, essentially on a deeper level, it's like the less visibility the the the the the the healthier it is. Moshe said, "I can't even speak." Lo yish dvar b'fi. Why can't I speak? So, the Maharal says cuz like a fish. Fish don't even utter sounds. People speak. Mammals utter sounds. Meh. Fish don't even do that. Because it's COMPLETE BITTUL. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SOUND. PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE SOPHISTICATED, so we have words. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Shut up. Macht kein shaynik. Look who's talking. I could talk more about not talking and hacking and shining. Right? It says that when a child is born in the womb, we learn the whole Torah. And then the child is born, the malach comes, satrei al piv, right? They always told you that to this day, yeah? And then the kid asked his teacher, "So, what do the Japanese have it?" So, you got a flask just like the malach. Umashcha'cha and he forget the whole Torah. What does this mean? Well, it comes and he gives you a little thing on your mouth. What what What is that? What is that? So, the Maharal of Prague says something very profound. He says it represents the mouth which gives you the ability to speak. He says the moment we stop talking, we start talking, we forget the Torah that we learned in the womb. Cuz the Torah that you learned in the womb was one and words categorize, they define things. So, that's where we start thinking of life in a compartmentalized way. Moshe said, "Lo yish dvar b'fi." I can't talk. Kvad peh kvad lashon. I'm submerged in the water. What is Moshe's name? Moshe. Why was he named Moshe? Ki min hamayim mishisihu. SO, JUST BECAUSE YOU PLUCKED HIM OUT OF THE WATER, that's his name? No, that's his essence. Even when he was out of the water, he came from water. Fish don't even utter a sound. COMPLETELY INVISIBLE. THAT'S WHY HE'S THE MOST humble person on earth. He's not the most humble person cuz he doesn't know who he is. Of course he knew who he was. Moshe wasn't naive. Humility doesn't MEAN YOU'RE TALL AND you say YOU'RE SHORT. I'M SMART AND I SAY I'M DUMB. THAT'S NOT HUMILITY, THAT'S STUPIDITY. >> [laughter] >> WHEN SOMEBODY HAS A SKILL and a talent that God gave them, it's not humble to say, "Nah, nah, nah. Weiß nicht. Ich kann nicht. Ich bin blind. Ich bin taub. Ich bin alles. Ich bin blind. Ich bin taub." That's not humility, it's fake. You know when people get up at a sheva brachos and they say, "I have nothing to say." And I'm You'll forgive my arrogance. And I'm thinking like I agree. And then the person says And then the person says, "And after everything" talking about humility. "After everything that was said a whole night" cuz there were already 13 speeches. "I don't have anything to add." And I'm thinking, "Great. Say mazel tov and sit down." And 45 minutes later, he still HAS WHAT TO ADD. AT LEAST IN HIS OWN ESTIMATION. WE learn sometimes to be humble, but it's not very authentic. I have nothing to say. I I don't believe that. He doesn't believe that. So, if you don't believe it, don't say I have nothing to say. Say, "I want to share something. I hope it's I want it to come from my heart." And then say it. Try to say it short. I should learn from that. Yeah, there was a guy who once There was a guy who once introduced a speaker. He says, "THIS SPEAKER DOESN'T NEED AN INTRODUCTION. HE NEEDS an ending." Yeah. >> [laughter] >> And the And the MC was right. The MC was right. Yeah, there was a There was a professor of of of physics who was a little too arrogant for his brain. And he spoke at a conference. He was supposed to speak for 45 minutes, reveal his his revelations. So, the head of the conference, the chairman, comes over to him right before and he says, "Professor, 7 minutes. Speak for 7 minutes." He was so insulted. He said, "WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY IN 7 MINUTES?" HE SAID, "SPEAK SLOWLY." >> [laughter] >> OKAY, very good. Not all my audiences get that. Wow, I'm very proud. You want to ask something? Great question. Great question. Is the need to be seen only from the animal consciousness that feels separate from Hashem? That's a beautiful, beautiful question. It's the truth is Is the need to be seen, the need to be seen, acknowledged, validated, is that only a need of the animal soul that feels broken and therefore is looking for that external validation, or is it deeper than that? That's a beautiful question. It's a beautiful question because it can come from two different places. It can come from a place of real brokenness. I'll tell you to be honest and vulnerable I I I I I know this so well because there were years of my life where when I finished a class, I would seek the validation from the audience. And it was it was a very torturous feeling because it's not like seeking validation in order to get feedback which is constructive. People understood, they didn't understand. It was amazing, it could have been more clear, whatever that's it's feedback is good, right? You want to taste your dish to see if it's too salty or if it's too sweet. That's not a bad thing. But I knew inside that there was something wounded that I was searching to compensate. I was searching to fill, but that void you can't fill through anybody. You can only fill it internally. And the and I knew it, but I didn't understand it fully. But this is exactly where one has to be able to ascertain where it's coming from. What is the need here? What am I searching for? So in the world of almond stemon, the invisibility becomes the most blissful experience. Moshe Rabbeinu says because he was always in ecstasy. You know when you ever came to the Grand Canyon, the first 30 seconds you can't like breathe or speak. You Moshe Rabbeinu was always like in the presence of infinity, he was so mesmerized. He was so mesmerized, he couldn't talk. That's what Alter Rebbe says in one of his discourses, he couldn't talk. He was like Like literally, somebody was like, "How do YOU CATCH YOUR BREATH? LIKE THIS THIS IS THIS IS INCREDIBLE. This is amazing." Helen Keller writes that somebody once came back from a hike in the forest. You know, Helen Keller once said, "The only thing that's worse than not having eyesight is lacking vision." So there somebody came back from the forest and Helen Keller said, "How was it?" And the person said it was boring. And Helen Keller said, "What? How can you go out to nature and call it boring?" There was once a Yeshiva bochur came to Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz Rabbi Adin Even Yisrael and he said, "You know, the davening is so boring. Every day the same thing. Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah. I'm done. I'm done. I know it already. I'm done." So Rabbi Steinsaltz says, "It's true, the davening is bore The davening is the text is the same, but the person is different. YOU'RE NOT TODAY who you were yesterday. Your struggles, your your experiences, your internal emotions, that's what makes it exciting." And he says, "And what if not?" Then he says, "So it's not the davening that's boring, you're boring. What do you want? You're just like THE SAME YOU'RE THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING LIKE FIND YOURSELF, FIND YOUR ENERGY. Like what are you dealing with? Let's see your emotion Emotions are never boring, come on." People's experiences are not boring, they're not boring. In fact, if God's energy is flowing through you every moment, THAT'S NOT BORING. Ain Sof. INFINITY HAS NEVER BEEN BORING, it's never going to be boring, it can't be boring because it's infinite. And infinity never gets old cuz it's infinite. It's not even defined by time. So every day it's as fresh AS IT GETS. REAL real energy never gets boring. There's no such a thing. WE GET BORED because we're in touch with fake energy, not real energy. Fake energy gets stale. Real energy can't get stale. It can't, it's flowing. It's it's alive. It's Ain Sof, it's infinite. That's what it means that the world has a core. That core is real. Brokenness means I don't even know about this part of the world. I just know about matrix, it's simulations. It's like fake energy. You understand what I'm saying? Does this not do for state? Okay. All too well, huh? So so now let's understand this is also where real connection between people come from. The after come the end of the passage is I need Hashem. What's the connection? The after come love somebody else like yourself I need Hashem. Because essentially, when you go to the ocean, what do you see? You see oneness. Even though on the bottom inside the ocean, there's diversity, but you see oneness. The moment we go into the frequency of the divine that we're all part of, there's oneness. We may be different personalities like the sequoia trees. We may be different personalities, but on a deeper level, there's a cosmic oneness that connects us. Over here, there's no competitiveness. It's like the rays of the sun, they don't compete with each other because there's enough light for every ray. It's not like the ray coming into this barn is like, "I'm jealous of the ray in THE OTHER HOUSE. STOP SHINING. Why should I stop shining? We're both manifesting the sun in different homes, in different environments. That's what real unity looks like. That's what real connection looks like. That's what a powerful relationship looks like. I need Hashem. When you recognize the I need I see is I am. The letters of I and the whole Yesh comes from the I am. So then there's a very very very powerful unity. Now let's take this one step further. The Gemara says in Aizo Haraya What does that mean? Who is a wise person? Somebody who sees that which is born. Literally it means wise people see the future. They don't just see now, they see what will be born. They could look at things 5 years ahead, 10 years ahead. They see consequences. It's called long-term vision. But the question is then it should have said not not they see what is born now. For that you don't HAVE TO BE A THE BABY IS BORN, EVERYBODY COULD SEE THE BABY. They see the future. What's the load? So there's an incredible incredible interpretation in your next source the second to last source Tanya Mem Gimmel. So rich Aizo Pirush She called Ain Load Vinnis May Ain the Var Hashem Pif Pif Pif called Sva. Aizo means you see that the whole world is being born right now. You see the Yesh as emerging birth being birth from the Ain from the source. The source is called Ain which means nothing, but really means no thing because a thing can't give birth to everything cuz it's just one thing. But no thing is the place of possibility. It's the place of Ain. That's the source from which all creativity happens. In life generally, when we're dealing with a lot, it's one of the hardest things, but also one of the most beautiful things, is to go into a place of Ain. Meaning I am stuck in my perception of my kid should be like this, my husband, my wife, the seder, whatever it is. I don't have the answers, but can I go into a place where I don't have to have the answers? I could just be comfortable with not knowing and just like No no no, you'll see part of us No NO NO, YOU HAVE TO KNOW. YOU HAVE to figure it out. You have to make A CALL. YOU HAVE TO TEXT. Can I be comfortable in that place cuz actually in that place, from there everything is created. All the possibility comes from there. So Aizo I constantly look at everything, but I don't allow myself to get stuck in the existence and the ego of this existence. I see that it's being born. It's being born right now. It's being born from the source. And that's what he says. The Zois the whole the tail of Mamesh the Var Hashem Pif called Mamesh the Ain called Bitul or Ziv Hashem the Shamesh Atsma. It's an example, the ray of the sun inside the sun itself. Imagine the ray of the sun inside the solar core. When we look at the ray of the sun, it already left the sun. In fact, it takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the sun to us. So the sun that you see now is not the sun existing now. It's the sun 8 minutes ago cuz light travels 186,000 miles per second. You don't have to remember all this information and be tested. You're going to be tested by the seder. Okay. I'm sorry I'm speaking fast because I want to get a lot in and you can hear a recording if you need to or just take it in, it's fine. But the sunlight is an incredible thing. It travels 186,000 miles per second. The sun to get for the light of the sun to get to us takes 8 minutes. 186,000 miles per second. You can make a how much 8 minutes is. It's a long long talucha. It's a long journey. It's a long parade. >> [panting] >> And it actually comes here. The reason we see the ray is because it left the sun. Inside the sun, you have much more energy, much more heat. In fact, nobody's ever thinking even Elon Musk of landing on the sun. The moon, yeah. Other planets, yeah. Mars, maybe, but the sun? No, cuz if you get close to the sun, you become French toast or in our case American toast. And it's not even toast. There's nobody to tell the story. RIGHT. SO INSIDE THE SUN, YOU HAVE MUCH MORE INTENSITY, but over there, it's just inside the sun. It doesn't have an ego. Outside of the sun, it's the ray, it's separate. So the Bal Tanya says really in the metaphor in spirituality, the sun is here, Hashem is here. The ray is inside the sun. Aizo the person lives with such a sense of intimacy in the source like the child in the womb, completely subsumed in the womb. It's not separate. That's what real bitul means. It's not I don't have an ego because I'm a shmata. I don't have an ego because I'm infinite. The fish doesn't have an ego not because it's a shmata, because it's alive. The more alive, the less death. The more alive, the less ego. The more ego, the less alive. The reason I need a big ego is cuz I'm not alive. Whenever you're really alive, you don't need any external validation. The same is true with anxiety. The same is true with depression. The same is true with laziness. The same is true with people boasting. All of these things, anger, arrogance, you know, are all normal things, normal emotions that we all deal with. But they're usually coming from a place in me that's broken. And because it's broken, I have to the brokenness has to go into different emotional postures in order to feel that it survives. So one person is looking for validation. Another person does it through always being nervous and anxious and that way I'm in control. I need to be in control. This is a way of living. Some of you may relate to it. If you don't relate to it, that's pretty amazing. For some reason I think some of us relate to it. If I'm in control, it's good. And whenever life throws a curveball and I'm not in control anymore, so what do I do? Either I fall apart, I get angry, I start making deals with God, I get resentful, I get upset, I need somebody to blame, or on the other hand, I buckle under and I take more control. I now get more in control. Now I become even more assertive and aggressive and predictable until I can't anymore. And that's when I fall apart. And then one of two things happens. Either we crack open and we let go. And that's called bliss. >> [laughter] >> Or or what happens is we never let go and that's when our system starts rebelling. Our system starts rebelling. There's a lot of pain, there's a lot of ache, there's a lot of disassociation, and there's a lot a lot of anger and rage and resentment. And these are all normal things. We're actually living now in a generation. It's a fascinating time now. I'm just telling you my observations, but I feel that they're somehow authentic, and that is people have been holding together things so much for such a long time and have done it well, have done it well. And that was the model that deep down everybody felt is the way to go. And it's simply not working even for the most successful successful people. And it's not even rational because you look at a person, okay, baruch hashem, he can afford 100 people to help him clean his house for Pesach or help him clean the Pesach. There are such people, thank God, let everybody have that money. And there is comfort and there's prosperity. And like from a physical technical level, he has things or she has things that their grandparents couldn't even dream of in their sweetest dreams. And yet falling apart. Why? Why they falling apart? The real answer is the closer we get to redemption, there is an invitation for truth. There's an invitation for authenticity. And as long as I was holding everything together by camouflaging and wearing masks and keeping it together even though I didn't realize, the more the fake energy can't really enter into truth. So it's the truthfulness that's helping us crack open and it's tremendous gift, but the gift comes with fear. The fear is to really really let go. It's not easy. It's not easy. The animal soul that's detached doesn't feel it's connected to Hashem wants to always blame. It wants to blame. Now here's the thing. This I want you to understand very deeply. It blames one of two people. Either it blames the world or it blames itself. Those who blame themselves are also blaming. It's just a much more kind and holy way of being detached. When I blame the world, it's like the world the world the world but my wife my this my husband my father my mother my brother my sister the world THE GOD WHAT WHAT will be blame blame blame. My children my in-laws your daughter-in-law your son-in-law your machuten is a good one. THE SHVIGER WHATEVER IT IS SHUT. BLAME blame blame. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're wrong. I'm not getting into it. Sometimes I don't do that. I blame myself. You know what the common denominator in both is? Disassociation. When I blame the world, I disassociate from the world. When I blame myself, I disassociate from myself. I'm like I can't deal with that part. That part is evil and horrible and I end off all relationships. And the most the greatest tragedy is I'm not connected to myself anymore. Cuz that part of me that I'm blaming is who I am. Talk to it. Listen to it. There's something going on over there. But I don't want to do that. So I want to blame. Blame gives me fake control. If I have somebody to blame in my life, either me or you, I'm in control. I'M GOOD. YOU'RE CRAZY. OR I'M CRAZY SO I'M NOT GOOD. BUT AS LONG AS I KNOW who's crazy, real real connection requires a whole different set of skills. The first thing it requires is this element of surrender. Imagining the ray of the sun inside the sun. Imagining the fish inside the water safe, protected in the womb of the shchina in the womb of Hashem. Now let's go to dry land. Dry land has the opposite paradigm. What's the opposite in dry land? I don't want to go into the earth. When I'm dead, I go under the into the earth. That's what burial is. For us, invisibility is death. What is existence? Visibility. That's what it looks like on dry land. I exist. You see me. I see you. In other words, there is separateness. And I'm not submerged in my source. I may use the earth, but you could be in a plane for 22 hours and be disconnected from the earth. We don't have to be like fish. On the contrary, WE CAN'T EVEN LIVE LIKE FISH submerged in the earth. So here everything is different. I may know that I have a source. I may believe that Hashem exists. That's not the issue. The issue is not emunah. The issue is am I experiencing myself as separate? That's why emunah is much deeper. We're not talking about basic I believe that the earth gives me produce. I know it. BUT I'M NOT INSIDE the earth. I have an ego outside of the earth. AND EVERY ANIMAL KNOWS IT AND EVEN TREES grow from outside of the earth. This is called olam digalya, a world in which my existence is revealed as a yesh as a separate being outside of Hashem. Usually there are two different types of creatures. There's what the Zohar calls nunei yamma, the fish of the sea. No ego, completely submerged in the divine like angels. Malachim. Kadosh kadosh kadosh. And then you have physical creatures, mammals, humans that walk on the earth. And we all have our own ego, our own existence. I may acknowledge I have a creator, but I the I is who I am. Now comes the secret of creation. When Yakov Avinu was speaking to his children right before he passes away, it's the last source. You remember hamalach hagoel otzi yevarech es hanaarim asher shimesh avosai Avraham v'Yitzchak. And then he says something fascinating. V'yidgu larov b'kerev ha'aretz. The word v'yidgu, you know what v'yidgu means? From the word dagim, fish. V'YIDGU LAROV B'KEREV HA'ARETZ. YOU SHOULD BECOME LIKE FISH on the earth. What type of blessing is that? Yakov That's the blessing? I should become LIKE A FISH ON THE EARTH. B'KEREV HA'ARETZ, IN THE MIDST OF THE EARTH. DON'T GO TO THE OCEAN. I WANT YOU TO BE ON THE EARTH and be a fish. What's Yakov Avinu saying? What's this blessing? Which month is mazal dagim? You remember? Adar. V'ischu, the fish. What is this? What is this? So the Gemara tells a story about Rabba bar bar Chana. It's an amazing story. Rabba bar bar Chana. He tells a story, we once went on a cruise. That's what he says. Cruises didn't get invented in the 21st century. We went on a cruise. It was amazing. But everybody got seasick. The sea was not ending and we got sick and we didn't see the end in sight and we had enough of it. And suddenly we saw a beautiful island. So we got off the boat and we went onto the island. And this is what he says, we brought out the meat and the chicken and we made a barbecue. They gathered wood and they lit fire and they started grill al ha'esh and they made lebedik with shish kebabs and burgers and steaks and probably they had barbecue sauce from Iraq. It was amazing. That's what the Gemara says about Rabba bar bar Chana, save the barbecue sauce. And suddenly this island starts moving. It's moving and moving and moving and moving. And suddenly the island wants to scratch its back. But it doesn't know how to scratch its back so decides to make a mahapecha v'nahapechu. And the island turns over onto its back and we are all in the ocean. What we thought was an island was a huge huge fish, a huge whale. We thought it was an island. We set up a barbecue. I guess it didn't like the fire. >> [laughter] >> It didn't like the shvitz too much and it had enough of us. And he says, thank God the boat was not too far so we all so we got saved. That's the story. What's What is he talking about? What a funny story. Did you ever go on an island and suddenly it was a fish? So the meforshim say it's a metaphor for life. It's this metaphor that we're talking about. I'm looking for an island. I want serenity. This ocean is long. It's hard. It's intense. It never ends. And you can't own the ocean. You know you can't own the ocean. When you're in the ocean, you're like this is beyond. It's beyond. It's not a place where we can control. So I want my little island. THE OCEAN IS BIG, BUT I WANT MY LITTLE ISLAND, SMALL, SAFE, IN CONTROL. AND I WANT MY BARBECUE. DON'T TOUCH MY BARBECUE. WHATEVER THAT MY BARBECUE LOOKS LIKE. And suddenly the island is not stable. It's starting to get rocked. It's It's starting to fidget. It's starting to get tumultuous. And suddenly it turns me over completely. V'yidgu larov b'kerev ha'aretz is the great blessing of Yakov. What it means to be a Jew. You're a fish b'kerev ha'aretz on dry land. Of course it's easy to be a fish in water. That's what's job. Of course it's easy to be a malach in heaven. It's heaven. V'yidgu larov b'kerev ha'aretz. In the language of the Zohar, they call the Jewish people nunei yamma d'ozlin b'ya bishta, fish of the sea who walk on dry land. So the Mitteler Rebbe says this is the metaphor of life. You're walking on dry land. I'm walking in a world where I am visible. I have emotions. I have separateness. I need validation. I have triggers. I get insecure. I have pain. I don't know what's going to be. All these parts tell me I'm separate separate separate separate. I'm feeling separateness CUZ I'M B'ARETZ. I'M NOT B'YAM. I'm not in olam histamen. I don't have microscopic eyes. I I the noilad every moment. I don't see the ray of the sun inside of the sun. Some of them I don't even know if there's a sun. And yet, the yidgola b'kara varits. Can you be a fish b'kara varits? What was the uniqueness of the month of Adar? This was the whole class last week, that the teva itself was miraculous. You remember we explained the difference of Pesach and Purim. PURIM WAS A NATURAL STORY, but it was ALL A MIRACLE. THAT'S WHY PURIM is not going to be nullified when Mashiach comes, because that's the whole idea of geulah, that the nature is miracle. The nature is a miracle. BY A BOSHA, [screaming] B'SICHE HAYAM, REMEMBER? IT'S ALL ONE HEMSHECH. WHEN WE COME INTO KRIYAS YAM SUF, it says b'siche HAYAM BY A BOSHA. BUT THE PURPOSE IS IT SHOULD BE BY A BOSHA B'SICHE HAYAM. WHEN YOU'RE walking on dry land, is it say miracle? That was the uniqueness of the month of Adar. That's why it's mazel dagim, but it's in the time of the year. So, Rabba bar bar Chana says, we had a boat not to get deceived by this reality, by this component. So, what Yaakov Avinu is telling the children of Yosef, and Yosef had to personify this because he went down to the lowest of places, is even higher than angels. When the angels came down on the fillim yardu bar, it says on the fillim hayu bar, the angels came down cuz they told God, people are corrupt. So, God said, "Okay, you do the work." And it says that the malachim fell down terribly, cuz they didn't have the mechanism of integration. In the ocean they're great, but when you come down to dry land, they lost everything. So, they're amazing. They're amazing in heaven. The moment you take a malach outside of his comfort zone, pun intended, he loses it. The uniqueness of a person is neshama and guf. Neshama and guf means to reveal the divinity inside the body. Inside the triggers, INSIDE THE EGO, INSIDE THE EARTH. THIS COMES BACK TO WHAT WE SPOKE ABOUT LAST WEEK. What I once heard from the Lubavitcher Rebbe that says in Pirkei Avot, "Ha'omer davar b'shem omro mayvi geulah l'olam." You remember you say something in the name of the speaker, you bring redemption. On a deeper level, IN EVERYTHING YOU IDENTIFY SHEM OMRO. DAVAR IS THING, davar is dibur, like we spoke from Reb Moshe Shapiro, "Mayvi geulah l'olam." You redeem the world from its concealment. In other words, you identify baruch she'amar v'haya olam. That's the whole purpose of Torah. So, now, what does it really mean? It means you don't get embarrassed and ashamed by the fact that I have an By By the fact that we have an ego. And by the fact that we have to work through things. That is B'KARA VARITS. THE GUILT and the shame that I'm not a fish is foolish. Of course you're not a fish. That's not your purpose. The yidgola raiv b'kara varits. SO, I MUST DEAL with all of the dynamics that exist in eretz, where there is a sense of separateness. Where the ego reigns supreme and I can live there completely. And yet, I have the choice through a lot of inner, gentle, compassionate avodah, avodas Hashem, to be able to synthesize. [snorts] And now we can understand kriyas yam suf. "Ilu kara lanu es hayam, v'lo he'eviranu b'socho b'charavah, dayenu." Chazal say that when kriyas yam suf happened, all the waters in the world split. So, if I was giving my child a bathtub, suddenly the bathtub would split. What does that mean? And who needs that? >> [laughter] >> Like, what's the point? You're having a cup of water, split. Right? You're trying to wash the dishes, yeah? Shvi'i shel Pesach, or your cleaning lady's trying to split, boom. All the water is split. Okay, it's nice. What's the idea? What's wrong if only the Yam Suf splits so they should go through? The point is, this was a moment that changed history forever. >> [snorts] >> For one moment, we saw b'siche hayam by a bosha. They had a vision of what the world looks like under the water. Usually, when we go under the water, we can't survive. It's death. That's the power of a mikvah. Why is a mikvah such a central theme in Jewish life? A mikvah is a place really where we can't survive for too long. If I stay under the water for too long, I can't live. In other words, it's ego death. We live in a world where there is separateness. And yet, the mikvah is the source of purity. Because what's the mikvah? The mikvah is going into that space, recharging, and then emerging. I can't stay in a mikvah forever. I can't. But I emerge from the mikvah a new person, a metzius chadasha, a b'riah chadasha. It's a whole different experience. And that is why the concept of kriyas yam suf wasn't just a concept. It was that at that moment, it opened up, and the sea became dry land. Meaning, in our visceral experience on dry land, we can experience the truth of reality the way it's experienced by almin stimin, by those who live in the frequency of oneness without any visibility. That's why chazal say, they said, "Zakeili van veyu, ra'asa shifcha l'yam shelo ra'ah Yechezkel." A maid on the sea saw what Yechezkel Hanavi, the great prophet, did not see. Zakeili van veyu, because a navi divests himself from the physical. In fact, they said that the nevi'im would take off their clothes during nevu'ah. And here, in their physical life, the shifcha in the yabasha, they can experience it. Now, look here at the depth of this. What happens the next step? The Jewish people walk through, and the Egyptians drown. So, we look at it as a great miracle. The water came back, and they couldn't survive. They drowned. The water was split, so we walked through, and then they came back, they went into it, and the water came back, and they died. There's also a much deeper interpretation. And that is as follows. What happens to your existence during kriyas yam suf? What happens to me when I have an ego death? There's a big difference. Who I am. If my entire existence is ego, so what happens when there's an ego death, you think? I'm done. I'm dead. But if my whole existence really is I'm ein sof, I'm part of Hashem, so what happens when I have an ego death? I start to live. Kriyas yam suf was ego death. For the Jewish people, they came to life. For the Egyptians, they died. It was the same experience. It's not two separate stories. It's the same experience. What happens when all the curtains are gone? When the doors of perception are cleansed? When the egg cracks open, and all the veils and curtains and camouflage and MASKS AND COVER-UPS, EVERYTHING IS GONE. How comfortable will you be? Right? Think about it. If everybody could know everything about me. >> [laughter] >> OR EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY BUT MAMESH LIKE THE DEEPEST DEEPEST SECRETS. Let's see how you're doing with that. Don't worry, you're a tzadekes inside also, it's fine. We know. We're not worried. Got it. I don't I'm not talking about private things. I'm talking about the real like who am I for real? Of course we all make mistakes, and that's why we could say I'm sorry, and that's the beauty of teshuvah. How comfortable am I really really really really with that? The truth is, that's the question. The whole philosophy of Egypt was based on sheker. The When everything's based on sheker, the moment truth opens up, there's nothing left. If my existence is oppressing people, if my existence is manipulation, exploitation, deception, brokenness, so now when the truth comes out, when ein sof comes out, there's nothing left. I'm dead. But when the truth is that the ego is just a layer, it's just an external layer, now with kriyas yam suf, ah, you could finally breathe. You come to life. I let go of everything else. I let go OF EVERYTHING ELSE. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. It's a moment when you realize you could let go of every definition of self outside of the fact that your real self is subsumed in infinity in the ein sof, like the ray of the sun inside the sun, like the child inside the womb. Haraya es ha'noilet, like the fish inside the sea, and it's completely safe, completely completely regulated. And yet, a moment later, the water may come back together, and suddenly I don't have that vision anymore. I'm on dry land, but I remember it. I have a reference point. And the moment you have a reference point of what's true, what's not true, you know where to live, where to go. So, in a person's life, what that means is that when the Egyptian exposed When the truth is exposed, if I'm divine, I start to live. If I'm a lie, that's when I die. I can't live anymore. I can only live in a world of cover-ups. And that's what the real avodah here is. That's what the real avodah is. To be able to let go of every other definition of self. Why have we been trying so hard? Cuz we try to keep it together. Why is it not happening anymore? It's a gift. Hashem is expediting consciousness. Expediting consciousness. Allowing us to be able to let go of everything that doesn't really belong to us. It's hard, because if I'm wearing this coat for 100,000 years, >> [laughter] >> I can't let go. This is me. This is me. This is my shirt. This is my tie. THIS IS MY WATCH. THIS is my identity. THIS IS WHO I AM. I CAN'T LET GO. IF I LET GO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN. NOBODY'S GOING TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN. I'm not going to look at myself. I'M TOO UGLY. WHOA. I GOT TO let go of that, TOO. IT'S SO much letting go. Letting go. Letting go. And yet, when you really really let go, it's an energetic experience that nobody will see, but you will see it. You will feel it, and you'll know that that's what Krias Yam Suf is. That's exactly what it looks like. That's the moment where I really, really let go of control. It doesn't mean I become an irresponsible couch potato. I'm like, "God, you make Pesach. Rabbi YY said, 'Let go.' I'm going to go out. I want an iced coffee, then this Pilates, then this yoga, then this gym, then this going on a hike." Which is not a bad idea, all these things anyway to do. And we're going to do some window shopping. Maybe I'll go away to Florida for a few days, and I'll come back Monday, and hopefully my husband, knowing him, will have the whole house prepared for Pesach. So, sometimes you we talk about letting go, it's like, "Okay, so let's just be couch potatoes." It's the opposite. Letting go means I actually realize Haroyas Ainaylech. Every moment is being born. And control is an illusion. It's poshut an illusion. I want to show up with an open heart to do the shlichus that Hashem wants me to do right now. And that may be cleaning my room. That may be shopping. That may be doing something else. But with complete, complete presence. And when other things come into me, which they will, cuz we're all normal, we're not fish, we're people, I can watch that. I can observe it. I could see what's happening. I don't have to crush it. I don't have to judge it. I don't have to denigrate it. And I also don't have to repress IT AND DENY IT BECAUSE I BECAME A FISH. You did not become a fish. Thank God. We want you to be human. >> [laughter] >> We want you to remain human. It's the power of the human being to work at this, to work on this, to realize it, to make space for it. And as somebody told me yesterday, when you can observe, when there's an eye, somebody told me yesterday a very profound line. Disassociated people don't know that they're disassociated. When you know that you're disassociated, you're not disassociated because there's an eye that's observing it. So, when I can watch a sandbox in my chest with a hundred little babies screaming, but there's an eye that's watching it, I'm not this regulated. I'm watching my dysregulation. Give yourself credit. The fact that you can watch your thoughts, you can watch your emotions, you can observe the craziness inside your heart right now, that means you're not that craziness. If you would really be that craziness, YOU WOULD JUST BE CRAZY. You're actually observing it and like, "Wow. Wow. Wow, these little kids are very scared. They want control. They need to do this." They Okay. Wow. They didn't hear the shiur. Fine. >> [laughter] >> They didn't get the memo or they don't believe it. Give them a little hug. Give them a little hug. Watch them, and then you can choose to stay open-hearted without blame, and turn to Hashem and say, "Hineni. I'm ready to let go and channel the love and infinity." And you'll see the miracles that happen emotionally. This is not a snap of the finger and my system is clear forever. That's not true, and if that's the expectation, it's always going to be disappointed cuz it's not the way it even. The way it is Vayigdal Oreiv B'keirev Ha'aretz. And that's why that's why we say Eelu Korah Lonu Al Sayam V'lo Heeviranu B'sochah B'charavah Dayeinu. The splitting of the sea, just to see the truth. Wow. Just to see truth, just to see authenticity. I said Shabbos in my morning class, I think probably one of the I think the greatest, but probably certainly one of the greatest gifts of life is authenticity. If you would give me every blissful experience in the world, but you say, "Rabbi YY, there's one price to pay. Give up your authenticity. Give up your truth. Just lie, but you'll have every bliss IN THE WORLD. PERFECT NACHAS, PERFECT DAVID, OUTS, OUTS, [screaming] OUTS. NEVER. WHAT A CURSE. What a curse. Right? I would rather all the pain, all the pain, but authenticity. Now, nobody should have any pain. It should be authentic bliss. But my point is that the greatest gift is the gift of authenticity. Just to see the truth. I don't want to live in lies anymore. I don't want to live in lies. Cuz that's what the gift of Krias Yam Suf is. IT OPENED UP. THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION WERE CLEANSED, and everything appeared as is, infinite. You got to see it. You got to see what Ain Sof LOOKS LIKE. NOW CAME the second miracle. Heeviranu B'sochah B'charavah. We walked through this experience, and it remained dry land. Wow. That's the SECOND ONE. L'GOZER YAM SUF L'GZARIM WAS AMAZING. YOU GOT TO SEE REALITY. NOW THERE'S SOMETHING EVEN DEEPER. V'heevi Yisrael B'sochah. We walked through it, and we came out on the other side, and it was dry land. You walked through the consciousness of infinity, huh? That's integration? Integration. And you brought it into your identity. Wow, which brings us to the answer to your question. We live in a world where we need feedback, but the feedback could come from two places. It could come from an integris place where I desire connection, and all connection is based on feedback. What did these words do to you? What did these words do to you? It's the connection of sharing, of emotions and experiences. And then there is I need feedback because I'm in a desperate, desperate space of disconnection, and I just need you to fill my cup in any way I can. And I do it in so many, so many different ways. The danger here is that as so many of us are really everybody is a is a good person. And people are trying to keep it together for themselves, for their children, for their grandchildren, for their marriages, for Pesach, for Hashem, for the world. And therefore often the masks that we put on are not sinister. They look very selfless. They're filled with goodness and good deeds. And yet sometimes we become more and more disassociated from ourselves, doing amazing things and keeping it together. So, Pesach is here. The Seder is here. Everything is here. Maror mit Charoses mit Beitzas mit Zero'as. One year when I was a little kid, erev Pesach, I was starving. And I was I guess a little absent-minded. I went into the kitchen and I saw this amazing pan with a bunch of little gargalach. Uh what are they called? Zero'as. Chicken necks. Huh? The necks, chicken necks. And they looked so juicy and good and everything. So, and I was starving. So, you know, one doesn't really satisfy uh most people. I should say at least certainly not me. So, I basically finished them. I didn't think. I still thought my mother made some chicken for the cover of Yom Tov. You know, you can all kids come in and they eat up all the kuglach you made, all the chicken you made, and then somehow they really believe in you that when you light the candles, the heavens will open up and the manna will fall down and there'll be a second Shabbos dinner that suddenly appears. I wasn't really thinking that much. So, uh suddenly comes to the Seder a few hours later. "Zero'as!" Everybody's looking for Zero'as. My mother's like, "I MADE A LOT OF THEM. I MADE A LOT OF THEM." And there was no Zero'as to be found in the house. I don't I still don't remember if I confessed or I didn't, but probably I did, or somebody figured out that I ate all the Zero'as. So, we have everything. Today you have Zero'as, Beitzas, Maror, Charoses, Karpas, Chazeret, DAG GADOL. THE HOUSE IS AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING. And sometimes the saddest thing is I have everything ready. We have everything ready. There's one person who's not there. I'm not there. I'm not there. Deep down I'm just disconnected. I have it on the control, but deep down there's such a disconnect. And you can't even blame somebody. Between the exhaustion and the depletion and the responsibilities and the emotional stuff. And then when people start acting out in the middle of the Seder, cuz that's when families act out. They're all around the same table. Everybody shows up. Nobody's running to their room. So, that's where all the beautiful family dynamics show up. And that's where this is the most important avodah. We always I always want to put it on somebody else. It's never about that person. If I can go in and Azo Chochma Araya Ainaylech, I am right now a part of God. So, this person shouldn't have the power to destroy my Pesach. Now I could with compassion stay open-hearted. Instead of like, "If she would just learn how to behave, and if he would learn how to behave, and if this person would be quiet for the next 3 hours, I WOULD BE A HAPPY and we would have the most beautiful Seder." The beauty of the Seder, the Maharal says is, like I said told you last week, it's not an orderly night. Let's face it. If you have a house where tonight, that night is mesuder, organized, then you somehow sell that copyright and pat- and patent because it's unique. The Maharal says the Seder happens inside. And the Seder happens inside doesn't mean I don't get disregular, I don't get triggered. I'm not a malach. It means that I know how to bring it back in for it. When I see that what just happened is getting me off course, and it's literally shutting me down, I could compassionately be present with what is happening. Observe it. Watch it. And tune in also to another part that is completely safe and one with Hashem at that moment. And I could really, really be present in that. And nobody else can do that for me. That's a very, very internal, internal space. I'm speaking to myself. I'm not preaching to you. Because these are it's a stressful time. And in that moment, things soften. The heart softens. The heart opens. And when we learn to stay there more and more and be able to go into the iron that doesn't have to control. And we ask Hashem for help to be able to be there and still present and open-hearted without blame. That's where we start experiencing a little bit of that taste of Krias Yam Suf. And then have Yironu Besaycha Becharava. And each one of those is Dayenu. And that's why Acharon Shel Pesach, when the Navi wants to describe the time of redemption, how does he describe it? One word, Ki Mal'ah Ha'aretz De'ah Es Hashem Kamayim Layom Mechaseh. The earth will be filled with divine consciousness like the water covers the sea. May we experience that fully and viscerally even before Pesach, take it from me ad mamash, have a beautiful and amazing and redemptive Yom Tov Akashernu V'Kiyemanu Pesach and complete victory and complete redemption.