Why Relationships Go Stale & Why Jews Still Feel Oppression [Lech Lecha]

Okay friends, paras we're going to explore a passage which is probably one of the most challenging moments in Jewish history. One of the most important moments in Jewish history and maybe I don't have the authority to say this but so I'm not going to say the most fundamental moment in Jewish history but a fundamental moment in Jewish history. And that is the covenant that God makes with Abraham, with Abraham. And at this point, it's really just Abraham. Ara um let's give a little context over here. Abraham or really Ara had discovered God at a young age independently. It's not very clear what age he be discovered God but um I think the common understanding is he began his journey of discovery at age three and was fully confident in his discovery at age 40. He was born into an idolatrous home into an idolatrous environment. He didn't know any person of faith of faith in God and finally found God on his own with his own mind. And there's all sorts of stories of Arainu preaching and teaching to tens of thousands of people. Nimrod wanted to kill him and threw him into the furnace. He said, "Deny your God or die." He said, "I'd rather die. I'd rather live for truth." And he ended up surviving the furnace miracle of miracles. None of this is written in the Torah. By the way, in this week's para, we pick up from uh God meeting Abraham, appearing to Abraham and saying, "Go forward. Go forth to this land which I'm going to show you." And at this point, Abraham is 75 years old. So, we know when Abrau is born in last week's para, we know what happens when he's 75. But all the stories of him discovering God independently and the miracles and the tests and the inspiration that he had shared with the entire world. We don't know anything about this from the text of the Torah itself. We know this from the Midrashim. But from the Torah, we know that God finally appears to him and says, "Go forth to your land. I'm going to share with you this special land. It's going to go to your children, to your children's children." And after much journeying to the land, then getting there and there's famine, leaving the land, finally going back. He went to Egypt for a little bit, had some issues there with with Sarai being abducted and all. Um, he finally goes back and he says, "Uh, God, remember that promise you made me? You're going to give this land to my children? Um, sounds good, but one problem. I'm an old man and I don't have children. And God says, "Come out of the tent. Gaze at the heavens. Habima. You can't count those stars. Neither are you going to be able to count your children." We don't count Jews. We don't look at numbers. There's too many of us. By the way, just side thing, it's not the point that I want to mention today, but I think this is important. Commentaries point out that the language the Torah uses, gaze at the heavens in Hebrew. There's different words for seeing. You could say like the word of which means to see to look, but it says hab to gaze. And the commentaries point out that whenever the Torah in Tanakh uses the term hab gaze, it's looking top down. When you're looking down at something, you're gazing. If you're gazing over a mountain, over a valley, so that's called that's gazing. So God is telling Abraham, gaze at the stars. Even though it's an expression of top down, in other words, you are above those stars. Astrologically speaking, you might not have children. that might not be in the stars and that's okay because Jewish people are not a people like Jonathan Sax says of blessed memory Rabbi Jonathan Saxs the Jewish people are not a people of probability we are a people of possibility not everything is pro is probable everything is possible or anything is possible and God is telling Abraham it might not be probable that you're going to have children but it's possible that you're going to have children you have to look above the stars you have to reach beyond. You have to realize that you are not limited to the astrological limitations. [snorts] [sighs] Then God says, however, there is good news and there is bad news or there's good news and there's uncomfortable news. And that is that being Jewish comes with a price. We know through for thousands and thousands of years of Jewish history that Judaism has come with a price, a heavy price. Existing means, we'll put it this way. If we never existed, there wouldn't have been a holocaust. If we've never existed, there wouldn't have been a Spanish Inquisition. If we never would have existed, the Romans wouldn't try destroying the Bas Mikdash and massacring us. the Greeks wouldn't try converting us to Hellenism and so on and so forth throughout Jewish history. None of the atrocities October 7th, none of this would have happened if we don't didn't exist, which means our existence does come with a price. And God says, "Your children are going to be in exile for 400 years." Exile in Egypt. They're going to be slaves in 400 years. That's part of the covenant that God is building with Abraham. Your children are going to get this land, but they're not going to be born in the land. They're going to be born in a place of oppression. They're going to have to break free or be freed. They're going to have to come to the land on their own and connect by journeying here. It's not going to just happen. Although we are born as Jews, experiencing the full uh existence of Judaism comes through a journey. A journey of going to the land of Israel. A journey. A journey is a big part of it. When the Torah introduces this journey and God telling Abraham, there's going to be a covenant. This is going to be given to your children, but you are going to have to go through the years of oppression. It says in the Torah that um alham deep slumber fell upon Abraham. It got dark and a fear came above him. And then God told him the heavy news. Your children are going to have to go through the land of Egypt for a very long time. Why did asleep fall upon Abraham? Why did he fall asleep? It's kind of like a funny thing. Abraham, I have important news for you. It's heavy news. Go to bed and I'll tell you. It's like what? So commentaries talk about the symbolism of this sleep being symbolic of the heaviness, being symbolic of exile. Some say it's just that's how prophecy works. Prophecy happens when you're sleeping in a vision at night in a dream. But the Arizal and the cabalists point out something interesting. There are many instances in the Torah where people have gone to sleep. Yakov had gone to sleep and put the stones around his head. Moshe had gone to sleep and so did Aaron when they had gone to uh to lay to rest. Yona had gone to sleep on the ship. So there's a lot of sleep in the Torah. It's not the first time that it's it's not the only time that that term is being used. But points out that the word tardma is not a usual word for sleep. tardma. That's not that's not biblical sleep lingo. In fact, points out that the word tardema is not even Hebrew. The word tardma is actually Aramaic. It's an Aramaic word. And he points out that the in the entire Torah that word is only used one more time. There's only two times in the Torah. Once it's over here where somebody goes to sleep and there's this expression tardma and that one other time it that expression being used suggests a connection. What is that other time that the Torah says tardma a heavy slumber and not not only asleep a heavy sleep falling on somebody and the answer is two paras ago Adam God creates Adam and the way the midrashim explained it the way Rashi explained it is You know people people get uh offended by the story of creation because of they say it's chauvinistic. It starts off with a man and then woman comes out of the man. But that's not actually what it says. It says that God created male and female. And the way Rashi explains it is it was man and woman as one human being as one unit. That was Adam. One man was one unit male and female together. And one of the reasons why God split them apart was there was there was this fear that um well everything else has a pair. The only thing that doesn't have a pair is God and man might think he's God. So now he splits them apart and he calls the wife an ezer kdau a help across from him. And Rashi says it's to remind him that he's not God. That's the job of your wife is to remind you that you're not God. [laughter] Rashi literally says that. Um, but here's the thing. Adam is naming all the animals for the first time. This is within the first three hours of creation. Adam is naming all the animals. He's identifying what they really are, what they truly represent. and he can't find his own match. He sees all the animals cavitating. He sees that they all have pairs. They all have connection. And where's my connection? Which is an interesting thing because the Torah already said that God had created male and female. You know where his connection was? Right behind him. It was a part of him. It was too close. He couldn't find connection because connection was within him. His counterpart was within him. So God put him to sleep. Vapelard, God put this deep slumber. The same expression, this deep slumber on him. He fell asleep. God split them apart. The whole rib thing, by the way, I don't know where people got the ribb thing. Uh the Hebrew word is cela, which in modern Hebrew means rib, but in ancient Hebrew actually means the side. God took off the whole side of them, split them into two, and said, "Now you can intentionally connect. Now you can find your spouse. They were attached. They couldn't find each other. They were too close. But when you give each other a little bit of space, you can now find each other. When there's respect, there can be love. If there's just love, there can't be respect. You need a little bit of space of of of that's the difference between love and and respect. Love is connection. Space is and and commonality. Uh respect is appreciating the differences and God had created differences. Why did Adam have to go to sleep? And why the same terminology? God separates man and woman and in order to do that he has to fall asleep. God is announcing that there's going to be this Egyptian exile of Abraham's descendants for 400 years. In order to announce that to him, he has to go to sleep. And again, the same language of sleep, the only time used in the Torah. What is the message here? The message here is exile is a product of sleep. ex because what is sleep? Sleep is a lack of awareness. When a person is sleeping, they are technically alive. The Talmet says there's a portion of you that's dead when you're sleeping. There's an element of death involved in sleep, which is why we wash our hands to purify ourselves when we wake up in the morning. There is an element of death there, but you're technically alive. Your body's there. Your soul isn't. This is what the Maharal of Prague says. You're sleeping, which means you are physically present, but you're not spiritually present. You could even think when you sleep. You dream, but you don't intentionally think. You can even have feelings or maybe when you wake up, you have feelings. I don't know. Um, but they're not intentional. You don't get to choose who you are. You don't get to choose who you want to be. You kind of just whatever happens happens. Your eyes are there, they don't see. Your ears are there, they don't hear. Your body is very much present if it's very much not functional. You are more body than soul when you're sleeping at least uh perceptually speaking. That's where exile comes from. Adam Harishon went to sleep. Kava was produced from him. So something good came out of that sleep. But so did the tree of knowledge. So did sin because they were asleep. Exile happened because they were asleep. And God is telling Ara, your children are going to be in exile. Your children are going to be in a land that does not belong to them for 400 years. And it's because they're sleeping. In the story of Purim, Hammon wanted to eradicate the Jewish nation. And when he proposed the idea of killing Jews, of committing a Jewish genocide to the king, to King Aash, he said, "Yes, no. There is a particular nation that does things differently than us. They don't eat our food. They don't celebrate our holidays. They're not going to show up to our holiday party and to our Halloween party. They're not going to put on the costumes and they're not going to eat any of the candy. There's a nation that does things differently. And the way he introduces them is yes. There is a particular nation. But the commentaries point out that the word yes there is can also be read as yes, which means they are sleeping. There's a nation that's sleeping. The Jewish people are sleeping. The Jewish people are not inspired right now. They're physically present, but they're not spiritually present. Their body is there, but their soul isn't. They're outwardly Jewish, but they're not internally bought in. Now is the time to infiltrate. That is when exile happens. And by the way, marriages, going back to relationships, relationships go stale when couples are physically present but not spiritually present. They show up but they're not there. I was recently reading a letter from the Lava Reb penned to two brothers who were in a fight and wanted a path toward making peace, wanted a path toward connection. And the Reb told them that peace among human beings can only happen when you're at peace with your soul. If your soul dominates the body, you can have peace with other people. Relationships go stale when just bodies show up. when two pieces of meat are in the room and they're taking up each other's space. But when the soul becomes a little bit more present, when we wake up, there's connection. And to symbolize that there's going to be a long exile 400 years. God tells Arau shows Ara that there's this sleep. There is this presence of body no presence of soul. And if we want this exile to end we got to wake up. And the Arizal points out, by the way, that what God what what the purpose of going down into Egypt for 400 years? What's the purpose of this exile? No pain, no gain, right? But that doesn't seem very fair. Going down into Egypt had a purpose to elevate Egypt. Because when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge, which was a product of them sleeping, because that's where exile sneaks in when we sleep. So now we have to go into the world and elevate the world. We have to go pick it up. Commentaries including Rashi and many others ask uh an important question. This exile is going to last 400 years. That's what God tells Abrau. And Rashi right away asks, well, let's do some math here. How long were we in Egypt for? from when Yoseph's brothers descended to Egypt and Yakov after you know during that whole famine situation until the exodus of Egypt it wasn't 400 years it was 210 years the math is off so Rashi says that the count starts from when Yitzk was born although Yeetszk himself had never been to Egypt himself had never left the holy land of Israel. It starts from when Yeitak was born because it doesn't say Egypt. It just says in a land that doesn't belong to them. Israel didn't yet belong to them. Which teaches us you can be geographically free but you're still not free because from when was born they were technically in exile. But there's another commentary I had read which I thought was very meaningful. This commentary is known as the Basy. Basin was a student of he wrote a book on the para called Bas and he explained something fascinating you know what he says and it's along the line it's along the lines of our theme tonight waking up from exile it was supposed to be 400 years exile was supposed to be 400 years it was only 210 almost half there's [snorts] a lot more math going on here cuz other places say 430. Okay, but just to keep it simple for our discussion for now. Why did God cut it in short? You know what the answer is? When we descended to Egypt, you might recognize this line from the Hagada. It says 70 souls descended into Egypt. 70 people descended into Egypt. Okay, that's a mistransation. It doesn't say that. It says 70 soul to send it into Egypt. Yakov and his children and their spouses and their grandchildren were a total of 70 not souls or 70 people but 70 person 70 soul singular. That's what the Torah says. It says it in the singular because they were all united. Why were they united? They empathized with each other. They felt each other's pain. They had self-awareness beyond their own selves. It's human nature to when somebody's going through a difficult time to be more aware of their own pain than they are going to be of other people's pain. But the Jewish people had this magical ability to empathize, to feel other people's pain, which means they were able to experience if everybody's feeling each other's pain, you could feel 400 years of exile in 200 years. It was compacted because of the empathy they had. And you know why they had that empathy? They were awake. They weren't sleeping. They weren't self-absorbed and wallowing exclusively in their own difficulties, but they were noticing other people. And when we notice other people, that's a sign of being alive. That's a sign of being awake. And when you notice other people, if if there's if everybody's experiencing everybody's pain, that's double the pain in half the amount of time. That's what the basian says. Literally being awake and being aware and noticing the pain of other people got us out of exile. The Bion points out that this is what Yseph had done. Yoseph was in prison for a crime he didn't do. And when he was joined by other inmates, the first thing he said is, "You guys seem a little uh sad. You guys seem like you're going through a difficult time." He noticed their pain, which ultimately got him out of prison and able to interpret Parro's dreams and and save the entire Egypt and get his brothers out of famine. Um, yeah. similar like like you're saying John similar to today's hayomy where rebukial was given a blessing for long life and he said but not pheasant years I want years where I where I'm awake where I could see where I could see truth when I could see life for what it truly is that mindset of opening up our eyes to what life really is about what our purpose is what the soul is. It takes us out of exile. It wakes us up from that slumber. It gets us out of Egypt when we find ourselves in difficult pos uh situations, difficult positions, difficult circumstances, whether it be um a relationship, a relationship with God, a relationship with people, whether it be financial, health, really anything. One of the things we do right away is we pray. But what is the purpose of praying? To wake ourselves up. When [snorts] Abrahamu prayed, when Abraham prayed, it says Ara woke up in the morning. The whole purpose of prayer was to wake himself up, to wake up the soul to realize what reality really is. What is this relationship really about beyond two bodies in the room? What is my connection really about beyond the ritualistic observance of mitzvah? Although that is important. What is the function of financial success beyond positive cash flow? Like what is the spiritual meaning? What is the depth inside? And when we open ourselves up to that depth, when we open ourselves up to that meaning, when we wake up from our slumber, we can finally exit exile. We can enter gula. We can enter redemption. we could enter this better state of of existence, this truer state of existence.