Why Moses Lost His Faith - Ari Abramowitz: The Land of Israel Fellowship

regardless of which reason we may prefer whatever speaks to us the most we see here the thread that connects all of these perspectives is that Moshe lacked Faith at that very moment but the question I want to focus on for the rest of the fellowship is why why was Moshe the most faithful of all servants all of a sudden lacking faith and so Rabbi sax I need to credit him with this he shared a perspective that spoke to my heart so deeply and really in a very personal way so he points out that the verse immediately preceding this entire episode is the key it's the secret to the whole thing here's the verse chapter 20 verses uh one to two in the first month the whole Israelite Community arrive at the Wilderness of zine of meadbart scene and they stated Kadesh their Miriam died and was buried there was no water for the community so what was it that happened immediately preceding moshe's inexplicable loss of faith that's right Miriam died he was a mourning for his sister Miriam now I'm going to share something very personal I don't know very personal but it's a personal thing I too have an older sister named Miriam and the older and the more mature I get the more of my life Journey that I go through the more I see the unbelievable parallels between my relationship with my sister Miriam and uh and Moses relationship with his sister Mary and not to in any way God forbid you'll compare myself to Moshe I'm saying the essence of their relationship you know moshe's sister was responsible for his very life she was more than just a sister she was always looking out for him she was like his protector she placed them in the basket in the Nile followed the baskets she convinced the daughter of pharaoh to hire a Hebrew woman to nurse him you know when he returned from median she continued to accompany him throughout his entire life journey and Mission up until this point and so without going into all of the details my sister Miriam has played and continues to play much of that same role in my life you know my UPS and my Downs particularly my Downs she has always been protectively overseeing me taking me in giving me Refuge to heal from whatever thing I just got myself into whatever I just went through from my stabbing to when I got burned to my greatest pains my greatest Falls she's always been there guiding me and I really don't know how I would have made it my life Journey thus far without her and by the way I think that the episode the most reminds me of my sister and my relationship with her is the episode in which Miriam speaks about Moshe regarding his separating from his wife you know when she gets leprosy she says why you know why did he separate from her we've been getting prophecy as well anyways she spoke against Moshe in some way and I'll tell you if Shane and I ever have any sort of disagreement or argument my sister Miriam always sometimes violently takes her side and defends her and she does this that's because Shayna is always right that's because Shayna is right that's why she takes Shane aside not because her name is Miriam but because you are wrong and Shayna is Right always that's the point I'm making though it is not that is not the reason it's true what you're saying Shayna is always right and very rarely do we really have fights or disagreements or arguments that's true she is always right but I don't think that that's the real reason that Miriam is signing with her because she she sides that they're not only due to her great love for Shayna and she really loves Shayna my whole family loves Shayna my father made memory uh be a blessing he loved Shayna but uh she also my sister she sides with Shane out of her love for me and her desire for me to be in a happy marriage with the wife who knows that she's loved and defended not only by her husband but also by her husband's family by the way it's clear to me that Miriam Moses sister was obviously not driven by any negative feelings towards Moses God forbid but rather by her love and her compassion for her sister-in-lotzipora and her desire for her brother also to have a loving healthy happy marriage I believe that I don't know if you and the fellowship agree with that I'd love to hear your thoughts on it but to me it's just self-evidently true maybe I'm projecting too much and so I can only imagine the the crippling grief that Moshe felt after losing his beloved sister who guided him and supported him and loved him in such a unique brother-sister relationship I can only imagine how I would feel you know in some ways it would rival losing my father it's just it's a different thing altogether losing a sibling and yes it's true Moshe was absolutely the greatest of all prophets there's no question about it but he was also moish you know he was also emotion who lost his older sister and was in the midst of intense grief and mourning and maybe again maybe I'm projecting here but maybe he was even afraid that he wouldn't be able to be the leader of the nation that he needed to be that the nation needed him to be that he wouldn't be able to be that without her