Why is she dressed like Chava

Every problem began as a solution. When I listen to a story, especially about a young 14, 15year-old, and I listen to their behavior. So the problem the parent is describing is the behavior. I'm listening that that behavior is a solution. The child is behaving a way to solve a problem. Something is off inside happening to them that is so disturbing possibly suicidal that this behavior is a way of coping with what's going on inside. There's a reason why she's coming downstairs dressed like you know kava before you know the there's a reason for it. That's a solution to a problem. Let's work out what the problem is. Why is this hard for the psychiatric community to grasp and for many even psychologists? >> I think it there's more and more people in our world that are seeing this clearer and clearer. What kind of leika gahum is it for sincere good kid to sit in class and realize I'm affirmed as being stupid every day? Good kid >> for 10 years. >> For 10 years and my parents sent me back into that. What does that do to my attachments? When I'm affirmed I'm a loser, I'm stupid. when my classmates, three of them were mess for the bra mitzvah and they got that act and I wanted that too when I was 12. I really wanted it too but it wasn't shy for me and I had to sit with my shame and my embarrassment about myself. Many of them by the time the the late teenage years will say I will never put my child through what I went through and so will be will cut off from Judaism as they've known it even at the great great loss of the culture of the cha of the good side not consciously not his prefrontal cortex not his thoughtful parts but the amygdala the survival parts are saying to him connection to this world causes you grief about yourself. It affirms you're a loser. You're stupid. >> So, you need to go to the secular world and probably even get a tattoo. That helps. How does the tattoo help me? >> Well, okay. So, it's all part of the disconnect that I'm affirming. I'm disconnected to this religious. >> So, the tattoo is a statement. >> I'm done. I'm done. Let my grandmother see. >> Correct. Let everyone see I'm out. I'm done with this. >> And now the father, who doesn't understand any of this, we're talking about really good people. And he comes home and the father tells him, "That's not how you walk into this house. What just happened to this kid's brain?" He went instantly into survival mode. that why can't I walk into my own loving home with my own loving parents with my own bed my things my clothing why can't I walk into the warmth of my home the safety and security of my home because religion says I'm worthless so it distances him even more so the answer to all of the issues is connection that we have connection with the child. Because if we allow disconnection, then trust me, there's a world out there that they will use to fill their minds and their hearts while they're disconnected from our world. And the way you connect is by making them feel respected and making them feel safe. Then they open up and they tell you everything because they can trust you. And then you can help them.