WHY is life so DIFFICULT? | Rabbi Shais Taub in London, UK

you know the perennial questions of any thinking person are why is life so difficult what's the point of it all what's the point of suffering did anybody ask me deep questions this was the topic that I was asked to speak about as I got off the plane in London England recently and uh here's my talk give it a listen tell me what you think I I just came from the airport it's my first stop I haven't been in England since uh pre -covered this is my first time here in a few years so it's nice to be back oh okay I'm literally just getting off the plane I don't have com I don't really completely have my bearings yet um but we're going to talk about know yourself inside and out right that was the idea yeah that's the expectation okay so let's talk about that um yeah you know the old uh Cuts could have art about knowing yourself about self-knowledge the katsuka said what I'll do this do do business though what does that mean why am I because you are you and you are you because I'm I I'm not I you are not you but if I am I because I am I you are you because you are you I am I and you are you what does that mean it means to put it simple that if I look to another human being if I look to a relationship with a person to give me a sense of identity then I'm looking in the wrong place and I'm never going to find it and the one thing I'm desperately asking somebody to give me which is a sense of self-worth they can't give to me they don't have it to give to me only my maker can give me permission to exist and as long as I'm trying to get it from somebody else I'm always going to be disappointed and because I'm disappointed it's very easy to get uh addicted to looking for it more and more and more maybe you didn't know but maybe the next guy maybe the next one the next one and just becomes this lifelong Quest maybe finally somebody's approval will make my life worth living and obviously that's not a it's not a healthy way to live so the first thing that we need to know is that our existence is pre-validated that I belong here how do I know I belong here because Hashem put me here right here at this moment and I don't need another person to agree with that in order to make to make it okay I know we're not talking about marriage but I'll uh mention to you throw in some free shown bias over here why not I could always use help in that area somebody once observed and I thought it was uh it was very accurate that almost every dysfunctional situation that I that a married couple can can have is either caused or at the very least exacerbated by one or maybe even both parties looking to get from a human being meaning the other spouse that which only Hashem can give you and think about how much trouble that could cause if you're trying to get from another human being that which only Hashem can give you so a broken person an incomplete person a person who's unsure of their own worth gets involved in a relationship in the hopes that this relationship will finally give me a sense of of worthiness and that it never works out well okay so how do we understand this this concept this is my coffee this is this is very important for the success of this talk it's what time is it 5 a.m right now in New York okay when I left JFK it was matzah Shabbos and it's in my mind it's still not Sunday morning yet okay so I could say this is a very like General pep talk you're worthy you matter you don't need other people's approval but I suppose you would appreciate if I would I would back that up and explain it with something that you could sink your teeth into something with substance right that's what you wanted right okay all right okay so let's go deep um let's go really deep let's just go let's let's skip the half an hour of warming up the crowd let's just go to the Deep stuff um the soul comes down to the world and it's plunged into a body and the body has this drive this survival mechanism that we sometimes refer to as enough the animal soul which only understands material things physical things and the soul is this Transcendent spiritual being that just once Oneness and connection with with infinity and it's obviously a very uncomfortable situation to put this this uh Godly entity called the the soul into a into a body that is really inundated with uh sensorial stimuli that sort of trigger that animalistic uh impulse and and uh and the the the the the the soul is is uncomfortable to to state it mildly and um it's it's really it's sometimes it's described as a war so it's described as a war the soul is fighting a war and it's it's fighting a war Behind Enemy Lines because the soul doesn't come from here it comes from up there it's a Heavenly being and it's dropped parachuted down into this Earthly realm and then it's like deposited within the body so it's like sort of surrounded on all sides and its voice is muted and its senses are muted like all of its sensitivities are covered up by all the bombardment of of physical stuff it's it's not easy so it's often it's called a war and in fact in uh in Toyota there's a it's a Parsha case explains that that's describing the Soul's Journey to the body when you go out to War what does it mean you go out to war when you the soul leaves heaven that's going out it's to war it's a it's a war it's a it's a battle what's interesting is that if you look in that verse Rashi says that this verse that says when you go out to war at least the the simple meaning of the verse is referring to an optional War you know that they had two different kinds of Wars they had multemus an optional war and then there's a miltimist Mitzvah an obligatory War you know an example of Muhammad mitzvah excellent very good example right that's an obligatory War or against the the Canaanite Nations that's obligatory then there's other Wars that were at the discretion of the the king and the Sanhedrin so those are optional Wars so the simple meaning of the verse is it's talking about an optional War and that's a parent from the context I won't get into the whole discussion there about that Parsha because that's not really my point here but it's obvious from the context that it's an optional War not an obligatory War but the question that's asked is the balotanya says that this verse is referring to at least on the on the spiritual level it's referring to The Descent of the Soul into the body down here on the physical plane uh how does that stim how does that uh align itself with the fact that in the original context the literal meaning of that verse is it's an optional war in other words I was given a choice means when your soul leaves heaven to go fight the battle down here in the physical body how can you say that that's the source or that's a description of that condition when the literal meaning is something that's optional and as far as I'm aware I was not given any say in the matter of whether or not my soul would be embodied you hear what I'm saying so uh good question right good question okay [Music] so you know before Hashem created the world we're told that um he spoke with his Consultants you know we have this yeah the me nimlock with whom did Hashem consult who did Hashem consult with before he created the world foreign he consulted The Souls of the righteous now that shouldn't surprise you so much that there are souls of the righteous to consult before creation because we know that boracious the first word of Torah Rashi tells us is base erases that the world was created for the sake of two things which existed before creation anyone remember two things that existed before creation it's the first rashian Hamish what and you saw very good so before creation Toto existed and you throw the Jewish people existed not the Jewish people as people and bodies obviously because bodies didn't exist because the physical plane did not exist none of the worlds existed not even the spiritual worlds but in their ultimate source The Souls of the Jewish people existed and the Torah also existed as a as a spiritual entity and then Hashem created the world as a as a forum within which these two things could be actualized that the Jewish Soul could come down to the world and live according to Torah as souls in bodies but the The Souls of the Jewish people and the Torah existed before the world was created so with whom did Hashem consult he consulted with the souls adiq yeah as the navi says all of the Jewish people are called sadikim especially up there up there in our source we're all still pristine and pure so to answer the question how can we say that our embodiment was something that we consented to well I'll tell you even more not only did you consent to your embodiment but you consented to the entire concept of the physical world being created now I know we don't necessarily remember that being in that state um that kind of stuff gets erased from our consciousness even stuff from previous lifetimes from previous embodiments we don't remember is this nohardinor this River of fire that cleanses it wipes the hard drive so we don't even remember previous embodiments although the psychic will tell you you know she'll oh you were so and so in a previous lifetime right how do they how do they always known like that you were always somebody famous so it's like never heard a guy went and found out who he was in a previous lifetime and you should say it was somebody like a regular guy who's always like Napoleon or something so we don't even remember our previous lifetimes let alone what it was like before embodiment existed at all but when I speak to you and I say like who are you who's the real you like if you go really deep who's the real you obviously you know I'm not just talking about the container the physical container that you're inhabiting obviously you know I'm not just talking about your body that's not the real you that's not the essential you you know that you existed before your embodiment you know that you'll exist after your embodiment So you you're already comfortable with this idea I'm assuming a crowd like this you're comfortable the idea of having an identity that transcends your physical circumstances in this lifetime so what I'm saying is if we really want to go deep and think about who are we well we are we are the cause for everything that we see we are not part of the effect we are part of the cause we consented to the entire concept of creation that's our true identity we are not victims of some plan that we had no say in we are partners with Hashem in this project called creation is this too deep it's not too deep okay good so if it's not too deep then let's talk about let's bring it back down I'll give you whiplash just we're going hi we'll go low so let's bring it back down what are the practical implications of an idea like this you know if we really if we really accept this concept well first of all it means that were never truly powerless we're not victims of circumstance there's a story about when the late Rabbi Jonathan sacks Aloha Shalom was a college student and he basically figured out a clever way to get a free trip to America he said he was going to interview Jewish leaders in America so he got a grant to go take a trip across the United States and interview different Jewish leaders he said when he got to the LA Baba in Crown Heights he said whatever flipped it on him and instead of allowing himself to be interviewed that ever started interviewing the Young Jonathan saxo at that time was a student at Cambridge so uh the rabba asks the young Jonathan sacks what are you doing for the Jewish students on campus at Cambridge and Jonathan sax is not prepared for this he wasn't prepared to be questioned at all at all he was prepared to ask questions not to answer them and specifically wasn't prepared to answer questions of accountability about his avedis haklal about his Public Service in fact he didn't even he did not even perceive himself as a public servant he was just a college kid just a student um so the whole question the whole line of questioning really took him aback so he said I started doing something very English and I started constructing a very convoluted sentence that would you know be sufficiently long-winded enough to say nothing while using a lot of words and basically excuse myself so he said I I started to say well in the situation in which I currently find myself and he said at that moment that Eva did something which he believes was quite uncharacteristic for the rabbit he that interrupted him he cut him off mid-sentence and said one does not find oneself in a situation one creates one situation there there are two ways of looking at any any situation we find ourselves in foreign perspective is the immediate uh short-sighted view of it but then the other come out so to speak and you take the Eternal look at it and you say hold on a second um I existed and I exist even now in a manner that completely transcends whatever it is that's happening right now and somehow my Transcendent Eternal Soul is needed in this situation right now for some type of improvement for some type of tikkun that will make the physical world a Holier place furthering Hashem and my agenda I mean and I'm decidedly I'm decidedly calling hashems as well as our agenda because again we agreed to it Hashem said should we create a physical plane and then Endeavor to make that physical world holier than heaven and we said let's go for it so somehow my Transcendent Eternal truest identity my soul the real me had to come down and be in this situation which I presently find myself for some type of rectification that will bring at least this little corner of this world a little bit closer to the state of perfection where ultimately the physical world will be holier than heaven where ultimately the greatest revelation of spirituality will will take place in the ultimate Paradox of the infinite revealed within the finite now I'm getting lofty again okay um how well do you think we know Hashem when we're in heaven you know what if Souls do in heaven you know what they do in heaven they it's is it pleasurable yes but is pleasurable they enjoy the ray of the divine presence what does that mean souls are consciousness and they enjoy Consciousness they enjoy understanding the pleasure of souls in Ghanaian is appreciating the infinite depth of Truth they learn total on a spiritual plane and it's profoundly pleasurable for them so what do Souls do in heaven is they behold the the Splendor and the magnificence of the truth of the Torah an increasingly deeper and deeper levels yeah and that's how they know Hashem when a soul comes down to the world it's very hard to achieve that level of spiritual sensitivity and Clarity and Consciousness very hard because again you have this container on top of the Soul and it distracts you because it's picking up on all these stimuli and it gets it gets focused on the wrong thing sometimes because the that's the the survival mechanism it did it's it it it it it becomes focused on and Petty things that are not really of Eternal value but you know that's part of being a physical drive is it just it it gets focused on things that feel very important right now the tyranny of the urgent um and and so it becomes very hard in the embodied state to transcend all that and to remember what's really of enduring value of Eternal value so it's very hard for souls in bodies down here to know Hashem in the way that souls in heaven know Hashem like and having all that all the all the the filters and the covering and the the the blockage is is removed and there's this imagine like just just this transparent window opens up and the soul is able to to to have profound understanding of of Truth and it's it's very very uh fulfilling down here is an Alma de shikra it's a world of falsehood and it's a struggle to even Glimpse one little piece of Truth foreign there's an advantage of being down here in this world what's the advantage the Vilma gone was near his end he was about to pass away and he's told me that we're standing around him and he was crying and he was saying I'm about to leave a world where for a few copics you can buy one of these and he reached and he grabbed his Talus cotton and I'm going to a world where for all of the treasures of that world you cannot procure one mitzvah yeah you know the the the the the the understanding of godliness that the souls have in in Paradise is commensurate to the Torah that they learned while they were in the world everything up there is Hazara it's all review so you're talking about the villagon who learned the entire Tyra he had a lot to review up there he was headed toward a pretty pleasurable situation and he was crying I'm leaving a place or for here down here I can for a few compacts I can buy one of these by Talus cotton and I'm going to a place where you can't do one Mitzvah anymore yeah but forget about the Mitzvahs you're going to Absolute Bliss you're going to be able to finally have you know to whatever extent such a holy person had blockage because of because of the physical body that's all going to be removed and he's just going to have completely straight access into the depths of the truth that he had that he had spent his life studying so why is he crying about losing the opportunity to wear a Talus cotton thank you so you know the difference between subjectivity and objectivity subjectivity is your personal perspective objectivity is the truth whether you know it or not objectivity means it does not matter does not depend on your you know the the famous philosophical question if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it does it make a sound and they say if a man says something in a forest his wife isn't there to disagree with him is he still wrong that's the more humorous version of it I don't know if it's humorous or not um action objectivity is something that is what it is because that's what it is and whether you understand it or not that's what it is so your embodied Soul does a mitzvah and in that embodied Condition it's very hard for it to appreciate what it's really accomplishing in fact sometimes it could even be you don't feel like you're accomplishing anything because that's part of what embodiment does to us it numbs our spiritual sensitivity so from a subjective point of view it's not that impressive we're not really seeing anything we're not seeing fireworks to say the least but the objective reality is something's happening a soul down here in this world is doing a mitzvah and the will of the infinite is being expressed in the finite which is an incredible paradox an incredible uh incredible accomplishment to contain the will of the infinite Within the finite physical world in other words how much value is there to a mitzvah infinite value so one act done by one person at one moment in one place foreign value it's mind-blowing but what's even more mind-blowing about it is that all of that is true whether you appreciate it or not so that's what an objective truth is an objective truth is it is what it is whether you observe it judge it experience it are aware of it or not so in heaven a Soul's experience is completely subjective which is why it feels so good for the soul because that's the definition of a subjective experience it's defined by how I experience it how it makes me feel how much I appreciate it and how much does the soul appreciate it up there in heaven a lot but it's finite it's still Limited it's limited to the capacity of the Soul to appreciate it now it's a pretty big limit because souls are capable of of a very uh of a great amount of of of of appreciation of understanding but at the end of it it's still finite still Limited which is why there are levels in in Ghanaian according to your capacity according to how much of the truth you're able to handle and that's why Souls graduate that's what a yard site is they go to another level so the soul in heaven has a subjective experience and it appreciates as much as it can appreciate as much as it can appreciate that's the limit the soul and a body May appreciate nothing you may do a Mitzvah and it doesn't even feel like anything's happening but what's happening is unlimited precisely because your ability to appreciate it is irrelevant so what's your relationship with Hashem before embodiment what's your relationship with Hashem during embodiment before embodiment you're able to behold Hashem to observe to stand in awe and it's very moving that's that's the soul in heaven what it sees and what it what it perceives it has a has a profound effect so you're able to have a a yeah a relationship with Hashem Where You observe godliness you behold godliness that's in heaven before embodiment as well as after down here you're able to be at one with the godliness not as an observer but as a conduit as a channel you are actually an extension of hashem's will Hashem Wills that the Mitzvah be done and you are his arms and his feet to carry out that desire so it's not two parties one observing the other it's actually a total Unity where you become an extension of him without separation so think about the closeness that we had before the world was created and think about the closeness we're able to have once the world is created in other words let me reframe the whole scenario the world doesn't yet exist Hashem turns to you and says should we create a world okay so you could look at that and say why would I create a with this no no no there's so many problems in the world it's not a nice place it's a lot of bad people doing bad things and for a soul especially it's a really disturbing situation to be in no no no I don't know why we would do that doesn't sound like a good plan or alternatively Hashem says should we create a world and you say will it bring us closer and if you're a soul that's probably all you're concerned with anyway right what do you want what does a soul want just wants to be closer and closer to Hashem and Hashem says yes the closest and that's the whole reason why I want a world a physical world is so that we can be the closest that we could be so ironically I'm going to send you far quote unquote it's not a geographical Journey it's not like flying from JFK to Heathrow it's a it's a distance in your state of awareness you're going to shift from a situation where you're able to know Hashem subjectively to a situation where you will lose much of that subjective knowledge of God but you will objectively be able to gain Oneness with him you guys follow what I'm saying yeah now this is all well and good I mean I think up to this point it seems like people I'm just scaling the room it seems like people are in agreement at least nobody visibly appears to be upset by this idea but um let's let's go a little bit deeper because um when I'm describing the the challenge of embodiment I I'm giving it a pretty tame description I didn't really fully describe some of the stuff that happens while we're down here um life can be difficult we can be tested and um it can can be rather painful there's two guys in Helm philosophizing one day one says you know uh when you look at how difficult life is you think sometimes a person would be lucky or never to have been born so uh the other guy says yeah make sure but how many guys do you know who are actually that lucky like one in a hundred it's a Hound joke how many guys do you know who are that lucky how many guys you know who are never born right okay that the sage is debated and they finally came to the conclusion it's better not to be created actually don't say better they say it's easier just totally true it's much easier not to be created so let's talk about what it's what it's like when when life is difficult um okay should we talk about this so we spoke about the creation of the world the physical world is really just the the tip of the iceberg is a whole extensive system of creation that is behind the physical facade There Are Spiritual worlds and in general we speak out for uh spiritual worlds and if you need to know the names of them they're called that silos Asia and they correspond to the four letters of hashem's name the yod and the hey and The Verve and the hey so uh I'll explain like this the higher worlds the yod and the hey what does it mean they are higher it means they're a loftier level of of perception they are closer to Creator than creation yeah it's a different premise it's a different Axiom for reality than what we're used to in embodiment in other words the Creator is an empirical reality creation is a philosophical construct like down here everybody takes for granted that creation exists now you're gonna have to prove to me that there's a creator up in the loftier world is the exact opposite the fact there's a Creator that's readily apparent the fact that there are created beings wow that's that's a weird concept you're gonna have to explain that one to me so it's a very different way of understanding things and as things come down as they devolve uh they they attenuate they they adjust to the the consciousness of those worlds until finally it comes down to this physical world and um things present themselves in in a manner that we can relate to that we can make sense of at least on some level so it says in uh and tell him fortunate is the one who Hashem chastises disciplines and the name for Hashem that's used there is how we pronounce this car but it's yoden hey the two top letters so it's explained that when we experience something that's harsh something that feels like a uh a punishment it's coming from those two letters meaning it's coming from the loftier Source the loftier worlds okay what does that mean s like this some things were translated so that we could relate to them as gifts from Hashem some things were not translated so we do not relate to them as gifts from Hashem and yet they are also gifts from Hashem and in fact from a certain perspective they are truer gifts than the gifts that were translated for us you know imagine a little kid and it's fifth birthday he wants a little toy truck a little play truck costs twenty dollars at the store and you can exchange that for pounds I don't know pounds are down right now yeah still they're done last time I was here was like pounds away up so 20 he wants a little toy truck that cost twenty dollars you know what a truck is a lorry right okay talk about translating so um so imagine what you do is for his fifth birthday instead of buying them the 20 truck you go to the bank and you take out a twenty thousand dollar certificate of deposit and uh you wrap it up in a box about the size of a truck and you give it to this little five-year-old on his birthday he sees the Box oh he's a little toy truck and he opens it up and what's inside the Box no truck the little piece of paper but he can't read so he doesn't even know what it says so you tell him well it says it says it's a CD it's a certificate of deposit and he starts crying you say bubble you could buy a thousand trucks with that the truck cost twenty dollars it's twenty thousand dollars in a year from now when you cash in the CD you can buy a thousand trucks doesn't help he's he's wailing he's crying he ruined his birthday I don't know did you give him a good present or you didn't give him a good present subjectively speaking it's not a good present he didn't appreciate it he really didn't appreciate it but objectively speaking it was a much better present so sometimes Hashem translates his presence for us and he dumbs it down for us you know like sometimes I'll go speak somewhere and I'll know that I'm not in gold is great am I in gold is green right now because I came straight from the airport so okay good all right sometimes I'm not in Gold this green so I can't speak on such a lofty level you know especially if I'm in America you know about Americans short attention span and yeah okay so yeah I just have to come now and tell some jokes and some stories and don't don't say anything too deep right ah but around you know some somewhere like goldish green I could speak pretty close to the way that I think I can just talk the way that I think I don't have to translate so much but imagine if we took somebody who is coming from a totally different background different cultural milieu didn't understand the references maybe wasn't even sure they believed that my premise had any validity and you sit them down here I mean would not be so inspiring maybe it would even be upsetting maybe they'd have a very negative experience just scanning them to make sure that nobody here is like that is my experience right now this is not what I signed up for didn't tell me they're gonna take some guy straight off a plane and have them talk philosophy on a Sunday afternoon but the twenty thousand dollar CD is actually a better present than the 20 truck problem is the kid can't depreciate it there are certain things that are coming from a loftier level they were not translated and so we don't relate to them as being gifts but it doesn't make them less gifts and actually in a certain way we could appreciate how they are more gifts than the gifts everything's a gift but these gifts that we relate to as being painful experiences are actually loftier gifts which is precisely why we don't enjoy them because we can't relate to them and that's why we say actually I give a to you so now you're okay the top two letters the four letters of hashem's name because these painful experiences are coming from a loftier place now of course you might say well why do I care if it's coming from a loftier place is not what I want it's like telling somebody I'm going to take you to a fancy restaurant and you say but I don't enjoy fancy restaurants I just want hamburger and fries no no we're gonna go to a fancy restaurant but that's not what I like all right so why do I have to have something that's from a higher level if that's not what I like so then you have to understand well hold on a second do you want an experience it's more pleasant on experience that's more meaningful do I have to choose I don't want to choose that that doesn't sound like a doesn't sound like a good choice to have to make okay well luckily we don't have to choose Hashem doesn't torture us and make us actually make that choice in fact every morning when we say the morning blessings we ask Hashem not to give us a messiah not to give us a difficult situation so for our part we say Hashem do not give us a difficult situation so he never tortures us to make us actually ask for a difficult situation we we say we don't want one and then sometimes he says hmm But I'm going to give you one anyway and that's what happens and now that it's in our lives we have to ask ourselves the question do we want an experience that's more pleasant or an experience that's more meaningful it's already here it's not it's not like by choosing meaning over pleasantness I'm causing myself pain to the contrary the pain is here and how I have a decision now I have a decision don't don't be scared you're not you're not bringing unpleasantness upon yourself it's already here the situation is here I'm in it and now I'm being asked a question or I'm asking myself a question if I can understand every single thing that happens to me as a gift every single reality that Hashem is creating at every moment is a gift sounds corny but they say every moment is a gift that's why they call it the present so any moment that I'm in right now whatever the situation is it's all a gift if I readily automatically relate to it as being a positive pleasing situation that's certainly a gift if I relate to it as being unpleasant it's an even loftier gift how how in the world is it a loftier gift because it's coming from a higher source but I told you I'm not so fancy I don't need the higher source stuff I'm a simple guy okay so let's explain what does a higher source mean it means it's coming from a deeper place within Hashem okay I'm still not convinced why that's worth going through this pain you know David and Malik said as for me closeness to Hashem is good what does that mean closeness to Hashem is good it means that what I'm presented with a situation and you tell me a bunch of stuff about the situation the thing that I'm most concerned with is how close will it bring me to Hashem and if you'll tell me this situation is going to be very pleasant but it's not going to particularly deepen your relationship with Hashem oh well I'm not that interested and if you tell me conversely the situation is going to be extremely challenging to the point where you may question your ability to deal with it but it will bring you closer to our Sheriff closer to Hashem that's what I like great so that's that's what I want again as I said earlier the purpose of embodiment the purpose of Hashem sending your soul down here was the paradox that by sending you away he's actually bringing you closer the closest the entire purpose of the Journey of the Soul is to come closer to Usher and I explained earlier that when you do a mitzvah that that's a special type of objective closeness that's greater than any subjective appreciation of Hashem that the soul has in in heaven now I'm adding an element to it and that is there's a certain intimacy with Hashem that can only be gained not only through embodiment but through the particularly gruesome things that happen from time to time in embodiment the purpose is not to hurt us the purpose is not to punish us the purpose is to bring us closer and when you're going through it it doesn't feel like that and sometimes it even feels like the opposite and you say you know I would have a whole lot more faith if this thing weren't happening to me right now and it sounds convincing when we say that to ourselves but the reality is and anyone can attest to this who's made it out the other side that our closeness with Hashem that we gain through going through the particularly challenging situations of life is is is incomparably greater than what we gain through through the easy stuff and we just have to make it through to the other side or like Winston Churchill said you guys know Churchill right yeah If You're Going Through Hell keep going make it through to the other side and what awaits you is a profound closeness now we don't go looking for it we're going to ask for it to the contrary every morning we beg Hashem don't do this to us we say don't give us a messiah because we're not qualified to determine whether we're capable of making it through the Messiah maybe we're going to ask to be tested and it's a mistake we're not able to to make it through the test but if Hashem has chosen us for a test and he's deemed us capable then then surely we can make it through and what we gain through going through that difficulty is a closeness that could not have been gained if we would have remained in the safety in the security of Heaven so think about that just think about that think about everything that your soul agreed to before the world was even created and think about why your soul was willing to agree to it why was your soul willing to agree to be placed in a situation that's so foreign from its from from its its nature to be plunged into a body to be limited that way bombarded with these distractions potentially tested with all types of difficult situations why did your soul say okay I think that might be worth it only one reason there's only one thing your soul cares about and it was that was why your soul agreed to do this I told you earlier to get closer to Hashem and if it will bring us closer then what's the point and why would you so agree to it the entire purpose was to bring us closer you know there's a it's an interesting question in yirushami which is why do we create so much stress on pesach by making matzah matzah is the one thing in your house that's probably the biggest risk of comets think about how you clean your house before pesach he goes through all that work to clean your house from helmets and then what do you do when you're all done you bring into the house something that's made from water and flour and the only thing that's keeping it from being comics comics is if it was baked in less than 18 minutes doesn't that seem crazy so there's a question you know xiaomi why don't we just make matzah out of other ingredients like instead of using flour you'll use uh I mean it's a it's also called flour but instead of using uh the grains what is it wheat barley oh spelled Rye instead of using those well you'll use something else like I mean I guess now you can't use kidneys in terms of yushami you could use kidneys but uh okay uh what can we use chickpea flour no that's kidneys what the potato flour yeah yeah okay potato flour they didn't have potatoes in times of your xiaomi by the way yeah you didn't know that you know what potatoes are from potatoes are American like me potatoes were not known in Europe until the 1700s yeah that's true you guys didn't know that it's true yeah potatoes come from the new world foreign why not potato flour and you know what your xiaomi says no doesn't work because Titus says that you have to be Shimmer you have to watch you have to guard the comments meaning you have to guard it that it shouldn't become a comet so only that which can become comets can be matzo whether you have to be showing at the matzo is in order that they don't become comments so if it can't become comets it can't be matzah you got it if it can't become comets it can't become think about that if it can't become comets it can't become matzah that's that's the meaning of life right there what's matzah Matt says Bittle selflessness complete transparency that's what Matt says the flat matzah tumble more than humble it's totally surrendered to God to the point where it's just a clear conduit to channel the power of God that's what to be matzah means it means that my selfhood is no longer an impediment to the glory of Hashem my selfhood is so surrendered that it is a reflection and a manifestation of the glory of Hashem okay that's what matzah is comets is the opposite comets is puffed up it's ego to where my selfhood becomes a distraction it becomes a focus becomes an end unto itself It Takes Me Away From God consciousness Separates Me ego ego edging God out that's comments if it can't become comets it can't become matzah foreign you thought you were close to Hashem before embodiment no no you weren't you want to know what closeness is consent to the creation of a world milit a world is a concealment a world is a concealment because you see Creator you see creation instead of creator and in that concealment ironically paradoxically is where you actually get to become your true self and where you become United with your true source foreign so we have to understand that this whole Wild Ride that we're experiencing that we call Our Lives this is it this is it this is the ultimate spiritual experience this is the ultimate intimacy with Hashem intimacy is into me see to really understand Hashem to see Hashem it's not as a soul in heaven as wonderful as that experience is as a soul and a body who does Mitzvahs and therefore acts as a an extension of God's will and who goes through nissianics and difficulties and tests and challenges and there and thereby proves that Hashem is everywhere even in the dark places what is a greater testimony to hashem's Infinity than the fact that we can be in situations that feel ungodly and that even there we find him and in fact we find him there more than in the the well-lit places so really to understand your life is to understand that it's all about your relationship with Hashem it's all about closeness leadership and that's why as I started I said uh if you're going to go around asking people to tell you you're okay and to give you validation and approval so that your existence will have meaning you're looking in the wrong place because people can't grant us that they don't need to grant us that our existence is inherently meaningful in fact our existence is is as meaningful as hashem's existence our true existence there's there's been a lot of Secrets for a lot of uh generations for centuries for millennia and as the time goes by we reveal more and more of those secrets and uh those secrets are revealed on a need to know basis we don't reveal them for fun we don't reveal them because we want to have a good speech to say we don't we don't need to reveal them to inspire people so that they can get excited we reveal them because we come to a juncture we come to a a fork in the road where to not reveal these secrets is simply not viable anymore um I'm assuming you're aware that in a couple of days is your test Kiss Live which is the liberation of the the balatanya from imprisonment and the entire significance of that event is that he was not only on trial by the Imperial Russian court but he was on trial in the Heavenly court for revealing the secrets of the Torah and after 53 days of interrogation it was determined that he was to be acquitted and as he was made to understand through his Rabbi and his that when he was acquitted in the Earthly Court it was only because he had been acquitted in the Heavenly court and he was given permission not only permission but encouragement to share these secrets of Torah because it was deemed absolutely necessary that the survival of the Jewish people depended on it and if he wouldn't share these heretofore Hidden Mysteries that were relegated to students of Kabbalah if he wouldn't share those secrets the outcome would be disastrous so the survival of the Jewish people required that these things be known so what I'm saying to you is that there there may have been a time in history where people didn't have access to this kind of information and they didn't need access to this kind of information they were able to get by with their simple faith and uh Press On but in our generation I see this all too clearly this type of knowledge is not a luxury anymore if we can't explain in this generation if we can't explain Our Lives as profoundly necessary and meaningful and godly somehow it's just too too hard to go on so we don't have the luxury of withholding these secrets anymore we have to understand that just how incredibly potent every moment of our embodiment is and what it accomplishes on a cosmic scale and how necessary it is and how worth it it is to the extent that we agreed to take it all on even knowing what it entailed and that what it ultimately is is the ultimate closeness with Hashem and if we'll keep pressing on ultimately that condition will become objectively revealed to the entire world when mashiach comes the entire world the Flesh of the world will see that the mouth of Hashem has spoken in other words that Hashem is speaking the world into being that every single thing in creation is really an extension of the creator that Hashem and his world are one like the gemara says tried to teach people not just but Kell Islam not just that God is God of the world but that the world is ultimately Inseparable from God it has no independent existence only Hashem has absolute existence and every other existence is just an extension of his existence and that by having an experience in this world ultimately we're experiencing Hashem and in fact the greatest experience of Hashem that could ever be had is by being in this world and maybe for now that's something that we have to learn the holy books in order to wrap our heads around but very soon mashiach will come and it's going to become the absolute empirical truth it'll be as obvious as anything that we can physically see we have to keep pushing on we have to keep living Our Lives cherishing every moment as an opportunity for for divine intimacy and we have to spread this message and we have to tell other people every moment is an opportunity for closeness more than that it's not just an opportunity for closeness but the essence of every moment of every individual's life is divine closeness and we have to look for we have to know that it's there and we have to find it he's with us we're not alone we're not sent away from him we were brought closer even in the difficult times especially in the difficult times and no one has ever lived the life that you've lived no one has ever had the exact experiences that you've had for eternity your soul existed and awaited this this opportunity to have this unique connection to Hashem that no soul has ever or will ever have again so you want to know what it means to get to know the real you this is the real you this is the real you the real you isn't what it says on your passport it's not your uh your height your your color eyes it's not your age your place of birth this isn't this isn't the philosophy anymore like I said one Once Upon a Time perhaps historically this kind of kind of information was uh maybe only something that the very deep spiritual people needed to know today we can't survive without it how do we go on without knowing this and if I had to pick whether to live in this generation or a previous generation it's funny because I think I would tell you I would want to live in a previous generation it would be easier but apparently that's not what I picked because I'm here having my embodiment during this very interesting time in history where we're so close to mashiach we're so close to all the truth being revealed you're so close to all of the truth being revealed yeah yeah should should happen already but for the last few seconds of it try to flip the switch and see the truth about ourselves okay so that explains a little bit about why we go through what we go through but it doesn't really talk about the Practical tools of how to manage for that I want to recommend this class about be talking about how to increase our trust in Hashem and increase our general sense of well-being [Music]