Why I'm posting this very unpolished, low-effort video

okay random unfiltered thought um kind of unpolished I'll explain at the end why I'm putting it out like this uh like in this low effort content style there's actually a specific reason why I'm putting out content like this and actually that's what I want to talk to you about this is my random thought I have been on this planet for almost 50 years yeah I know with the white beard you think I'm much older but anyways I've spent almost 50 years basically uh working very very very hard to learn how to curate the projection of myself that you have access to by you I mean humanity and I've learned to do that because I learned early on that people didn't want all of me the real me um and that in fact there were often times very painful harsh repercussions some people were actually merciless in enforcing the repercussions for me being my true un unfiltered self um so obviously as a person who lives in a society right in a society we live in a society so you have to to some extent you have to adapt um and so there's this masking this um like I said it's curating which aspects of your personality you're going to allow people to have access to um it's not meant for deception God forbid it's not supposed to trick people it's just for self- protection so that you don't judge me or hurt me or reject me for stuff that you think is weird but basically that's what it is okay so I've spent almost 50 years sorry shaking the phone so much I've spent almost 50 years really really getting good at that so that my experience with other human beings should be as smooth as possible and then comes this thing called the internet and I start creating content and I have this YouTube channel which you're watching me on and I learn this totally counterintuitive lesson which runs so counter to all of my self-training for the past almost 50 years that it's almost it's like trying to stick your face into a fan blade that's moving like that that your instincts are resisting it with every single fiber of your being and and here's what it is is that there's this weird thing called the algorithm and with the algorithm and I've discovered this and it's actually been very healing it's painful but it's healing it's painful healing that the more unfiltered I am meaning the more authentic I am I I mean I try to always be authentic even when I'm filtered but I'm saying I I everything I let out is mostly authentic but I don't let everything that's authentic out and then I started realizing on on the Internet it's the exact opposite just let it all out I don't mean an exhibitionistic self-indulgent way of voyerism the more my speech sounds like my internal thoughts the more the algorithm finds you people who get me who aren't judging and rejecting yeah there is a lot of that and there will be the negative comments and those negative comments actually just drive up engagement and those people disappear and they never come back to the channel but the people who speak my language are finding me and so the thing that made me lonely for 50 years meaning revealing too much of my internal World actually in the internet world is the exact inverse it's the more quirky and I don't mean quirky as a deliberate affectation God forbid I mean authentic Quirk the more idiosyncratic the more unedited I am the more the community my community the my likeminded my Kindred Spirits find me and the less alone I am so thank you for finding me and thank the algorithm thank God for creating the algorithm by the way when I mention God that makes a lot of people upset that's good though because I'm not trying to win over everybody I'm just trying to find the people who speak my language now to a certain extent I'm also trying to be an ambassador so I do try to create content that translates my internal world to a language that is more accessible to people who don't already think like me but this content is for you this is for you if you made it this far into this video then we speak a Common Language and I I feel less alone knowing you're watching I hope you feel less alone