Transcript
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tell us about your rule on parenting and
your thoughts on how children are raised
how they are raised and perhaps how they
should be raised don't let your children
do anything that makes you dislike them
right right right well that's it's a
it's a funny rule in in a kind of harsh
way again the first part of it that's
harsh is the Frank admission that
children can do things that make them
dislikable right right and that's
something everyone knows but no one
wants to say and the second part is that
you as a parent despite loving your
children might also not like them let me
tell you my reaction to that first of
all it is factually correct this what
that's Jordan Peterson by the way he's
famous guy um he says that there are two
things basically implicit in oh those
are his rules for living he has a bunch
of rules for living and I looked at I
actually had never seen the list of the
rules for living before but somebody
this same person who sent me this sent
me the list of rules for living one of
the rules for living is parenting
related and this is is the parenting
related rule for living um
so forget about the rule for a second
you know the difference between a
descriptive statement and a prescriptive
statement a descript a descriptive
statement is the just a description of
this is what it is it's not a judgment
I'm not saying it's good or bad I'm not
saying it's right or wrong I'm just
telling you the fact prescriptive means
like a prescription like a doctor says
take two of these and call me in the
morning meaning this is what you should
do so set aside whether this is good
advice or not let me just zero in on the
descriptive aspect of it so he says that
it's implicit in his rule this sort of I
don't know I don't remember if he uses
the word shocking but uh the shocking
implication that children can do things
that make them unlikable and that like
he says this as a second thing that a
parent could actually love a child but
dislike them so I want to agree with
that as a descriptive statement it is
true that children or anybody can do
things that make them unlikable that's
that's true second of all it is true
that a parent yes even a parent could
love a child and dislike a child at the
same time totally true I'm I'm agreeing
that that is true now there's where my
agreement ends because if you get into
the
prescriptive part of it meaning what you
should do meaning what is guidance or
advice or
Direction um I would go in a totally
different a totally different approach
and I would say like
this yes it's true that people including
children can do things that make us
dislike them yes it's true that a parent
could even love a child and at the same
time dislike their own child yes it's
true and because precisely because then
that's
true my advice to parents is you got to
be on top of
that don't let
yourself succumb to disliking your child
because of their behavior in other words
it is only human nature to dislike
People based on their behavior I know
that I'm saying as a
parent you got to dig deep and you have
to transcend that you have to transcend
that and why why am I saying you have to
dig deep and transcend that
because Jordan Peterson is
saying don't let your children do
anything that would make you dislike
them as if he's saying it as
if making sure that your children do
things or don't do things
that are dislikable that is the path to
successful
parenting and I would say it's exactly
the
opposite it's exactly the
opposite successful parenting is not the
result of not letting your kids do
things that you would that would make
you dislike them but
rather being immune to dis liking your
child is the path to successful
parenting hey this is rabish shab you
were just watching a clip from my six-
week online parenting course which I
offer about once or twice a year we're
opening up enrollment right now for
another cohort of that course if you
want to get in on it there's information
how to register in the description of
this video below hope to see you there
