Why Do So Many of Us Feel Empty? Can We Stop Blaming “The System?” l Meaningful People Podcast

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> Have we become firmer than the Torah? I heard a speech of yours recently where you had said terara that's real doesn't consume you. [music] It warms you up. If I find Yiddish dulling my senses, crushing me, making me feel horrible about myself. This is not the divine flame that's futile. [music] It's not the point. Real Yiddish. It brings out the best in you. It makes you more creative, not less creative, more [music] alive, not numb and dead, more passionate, not frozen and disassociated and detached. >> Have we become firmer than the terra? If Mosher Bainu got off a plane and came into Claire today, would he recognize us? >> We [music] can't just have a relationship with Yiddish that is skin deep or that is based on pressure or that [music] is based on fear and doing the right thing in order to be able to conform to the system, become part of the machine. It feels like though a little bit of a steer between the reality in which you're speaking of and the way our system is structured. How does anything you just said translate into the systems we currently have in the from world in every step of the way from yeshiva bakov seminary how you drop off your kid at school and it's uniform figuratively and literally we're not taught to think for ourselves. We've become very good followers. Is there room for us to be different? We have to take a deep breath for that. I think the [music] most authentic answer I can give to myself and to each and every one of us is >> the the world we live in is really crazy. You you have a front row seat. I feel like you you have your ear to the ground and you hear and you see what's going on in the world. Without getting into particulars of assassination attempts and I know, you know, uh something that everyone knows about is, you know, Charlie Kirk was killed for having an opinion that people didn't like. And of course, you know, we have to look no further than the leader of our country who had his life threatened many times already at this point. Some serious, some not so serious, but nonetheless, it's real. We're living in a world that um call it liberal culture, woke, whatever it is, there's an extreme intolerance for other opinions. Now the question is is are we seeing that culture in any way seep into the from world at all? It's an interesting question. Um I don't see that with such intensity. We have an age-old Jewish problem of divisiveness of of of lack of trust. Um we are an amy Jews have very strong convictions. I once heard Gavald from the labba he said how is it that the students of rabaka from all people were the ones who disrespected each other. After all it was their rebba their mentor their teacher who taught Yeah. >> And it's not like we say, "Oh, they weren't real students. You know, they were wannabes. They invaded the bish. They didn't really get accepted." The Gomorrah says, "That means they are truly disciples of Rabbi Yakiva." The Torah calls them disciples of Rabbi Yaka. And he said something very moving. He said, "Precisely because they were students of Rabi AKA. They were so passionate about convincing their friends with the truth. They wouldn't be students of Ryaka. Live and let live. Do your own thing. I couldn't care less. I'm I'm going to worry about me and maybe my own family. But because they were students of so now if somebody disagreed with their approach, somebody had a different perspective, they couldn't just let it go. Says, "I really need to get you to the truth. I need to convert you. I need to transform you. I need to help you. I need to heal you." And because they were authentic people, they stopped respecting each other. So in many ways our deep connection with each other and our deep uh commitment to moral conviction for many generations has created a lot of mistrust in the Jewish community. [snorts] And uh I think though in recent years you know we like always to criticize our generation but I think a I think in this area many of us have learned a lot of lessons. I think if I'm not mistaken what I'm saying what I'm experiencing and I don't have you know data factual data but just more anecdotal experience with people I think we have learned a lot of lessons and we have advanced in this area >> can't say for everybody I can't say in every situation but I think we have seen that our infighting our internal fighting and mistrust towards each other um only creates absolute disasters as FAMA says wrote this uh to passed away 1905. He was the third GB and he writes that the first episode of the first Jewish leader Mosher Rabeno in Pares. The first story we have about our first leader is he comes out and he sees an Egyptian beating a Jew to death and he knows what to do. He turns there, he turns there, he sees there's nobody there, he kills the Egyptian, he buries him in the sand and he saves the Jew from death. The Tory says he goes out the second day, next day. And now he sees something else. Now he sees now it's two Jews who want to kill each other. And he turns to one and he says, "Why would you beat your friend? Why would you strike your fellow human being?" And now the person responds, "Ah, you're going to kill me too like you killed the Egyptian." and Mosha is forced to flee the country. See, so the first situation of exile, there is two casualties of exile. I'm putting it in my own words. One is non-Jews don't like Jews. There's another casualty of exile. Jews don't like Jews. >> Yeah, I think that's the that's that's the most dangerous. >> Oh, yeah. It's self-hating or it's hating of the people who are such be closest to you. And he said, for the first one, Misha had a solution. He could fight back. The second one is he didn't have a solution. He had to run away in many ways. It's more painful because you know the fighting inside the family is of a different nature. >> So do do we ever figure out a solution since then? So I I so so this is a struggle that we have to know this as a people you know we have so many uh blessings and talents and we like to talk about them and it's amazing but this is a weakness of vulnerability that we need to confront constantly because if you don't confront your weakness you can fall prey to it. I just find that on many levels many people and many communities we have learned a lot of lessons. We have seen the horrific [laughter] effects of Jews turning up against each other. Even when we have disagreements, disagreements is not the end. That's not that's not the worst problem. You know, the Isf and his brothers, the Torah says, they couldn't talk anymore. When there's no talking, when there's just gaslighting, >> drifting away, stonewalling, when we stop talking, when there's no communication, trust breaks down. And now conspiracies are built. Now I start imagining who you are without even talking to you. I build cases against you. And when we do that on a famil in families or in communities or communities against other communities, it's very very sad. And sometimes the results are tragic. I I'll tell you what I mean that I see I see progress. I lecture all over the world today. When I was a child, if you would get up on Shabas in your synagogue and you would speak out against the community, it was almost a way of gaining popularity. At least in many places, I don't mean all places. Today, I would say in most places, people would be very, very disgraced. They would find it very distasteful. It's not what they call it's not what's getting you hits. >> No, >> it's not what's getting you likes. There is a certain internal disgust, a genuine disgust. And I think this is credit to a spiritual sensitivity in this generation of Jews. I don't mean to sound like this uh [laughter] this blind optimist who's completely naive and living in the stars and doesn't know what's happening but I I still feel that there's a huge amount of Jews today who have learned lessons doesn't mean we agree about everything but I think we understand that when Hashem asked cen where's your brother and he said three words am I my brother's keeper I have my own problems. I'm not my brother's keeper. And that's the story of the first murder in history when one brother kills his other brother. And we need to contrast that with Ysef who was also estranged from his brothers. And when somebody met him, he was lost. And the person said in par, what are you searching for? He said, "I'm searching for my brothers." That was the difference between Cayenne and Yisf. And we can always respond in two ways. Am I my brother's keeper? I got my own problems. I have my own mortgage. I have my own crisis. I got my own issues. Or I could say, I have I have a challenge with my brother. I have challen We have challenges with our brothers and sisters. But I'm looking for my brothers. It's a different posture. >> Yeah. >> From one bloodshed is born, violence is born. Certainly war and conflict and misunderstanding. and divisiveness is born and from the other one redemption is born, reconciliation is born. >> It's very interesting. I think um you know from this the seed I sit in and I I really just have conversations with people and then we put it out there and kind of see the the reactions of many there there are I've definitely had situations where I either did an episode or put out a video and had um very like strong feeling responses from people like and and it made me think like like wait a minute we could disagree and still be like okay but I feel like the the uh the tolerance for differing opinions is we see it we see it in society and thank god in the firm world political violence is not is not really a thing but but like is there room is there room for us to be different and if there isn't then there's no such thing as a right like do we have aus because we can take a nice picture put it on mky and do # brothers >> it it takes a lot of inner work. I'll tell you, you see, it's easy to agree with everybody and be at peace with everybody when I'm spineless, when I don't have a position, when I don't care. >> Right. >> So then, >> like you said, aka students, they very >> Exactly. If I'm not passionate, if I don't have convictions, if I don't really feel strong about something, everything goes. I agree, I disagree, I couldn't care less. That's not the big deal. what we're talking about. Judaism has very deep convictions and communities have deep convictions and people are raised and molded and crafted by a deep relationship with truth. Ultimately, what is Yiddish if not a dedication to truth? We want the truth and only the truth and nothing but the truth. Hashem and if it's not true, the Gmorrah says the seal of Hashem is true. If it's not true, what is it worth? It's worth nothing. It's the it's the statues that Abrau broke. What are we serving? We're serving statues or we're looking for truth. And when I feel very strongly about the truth and suddenly I find that you are espousing a very different perspective. It's not so simple. It's not so easy. This is where the real challenge comes in. How deep and authentic is my relationship to Hashem? And I'll explain to you what I mean. Somebody once asked the balatanya the alterba. And I find it it was a trick question. I think even though it doesn't say it in the sources, he asked him a question. I think he wanted to catch him. He wanted, you know, stump the rabbi as we call it today. Stump theb. And he asked him a question. He said, "In your estimation, in your opinion, which is a greater mitzvah or loving God or loving another Jew?" I think it was a trick question because whatever he would say would be distasteful. If you say is greater really another person is more important than God >> right >> that's not good if you would say is greater the wholeidic movement that he espoused you know as a student of the m of the bump was so in so saturated with Israel bump said that a soul comes down for 70 80 years sometimes to do one favor to another Jew physically and especially spiritually so this was like almost how do you answer this? And the Balatana said, I'll say it in Yiddish and then I'll translate. He said, it's it's like a real litish [laughter] answer all in one. He said is a an uptight of the premise of your question is wrong. One is a commentary on the other. Loving another Jew is a commentary on loving Hashem. It's loving what my beloved one loves. Somebody comes to me and says, "Rabbi Y, I love you. I love you. I love you. I like your personality. I love your classes. I hate your kids. I hate their guts. I hate their guts. I hate your spouse." I'm like, "Do me a favor. Go find somebody else to love." >> Yeah. Don't even love me. Yeah. If I'm standing in she I love with all my heart but Hashem says about every single Jew that these are my children these are my children. So he said it's a commentary on a hashem. You're not dealing about a competition. It's like what's more important the gammor or rashi? Rashi is a commentary on the gammor. Rashi is not competing. Shall I learn Gamaru? Shall I learn Rashi? [laughter] Rashi is trying to make the Gammorra real accessible. ism in the most real way. You're loving the you're loving the so I think that takes inner work that means I may disagree with you and the disagreement may even be very deep just like sometimes my child may espouse an opinion that I really think is not true but if I am a father or a mother I don't tell my child that's said you're not my child I hate your guts I can't trust you anymore and you can't trust me The greatest value of parenting is I stay close to you, openhearted to you even if there are things in which we seriously seriously disagree. And I think when religion becomes divorced from real aid from really working on my ego and cracking open my ego then we face divisiveness then we face fragmentation because then it becomes color war. But if I'm really really dedicated to Hashem, I'm not dedicated to my ego. I'm not dedicated that you should say that I'm dedicated to God. I'm really vulnerable. It's not about my ego or my insecurity. I'm here to channel God's light. So then in my relationship with you, I see Hashem's light in you. And there is a real real connection. There's real trust. And that takes a lot of inner work. This is this is not about religious uh verbiage or declarations or slangs. This is about internal, spiritual, emotional, psychological work. And I think our generation is really searching for that. And people get that. People get that. You can't be at peace of God with God if you're at war with other people. It's just it's it's just it's not real. It's not authentic. Something is off. It's a narcissistic God, which sometimes works for people. >> Yeah. You know, it's it's interesting. It's kind of it might be a little bit of a topic. It's a tangent. Um, but I I heard a a speech of yours recently where you had said about um the the burning bush that Mosher Benu saw and it wasn't consumed and it wasn't consumed and therefore Mosher Benu knew that it was it was true. It was the real Tyra and Tyra that's real doesn't consume you. It warms you up. It's something that you can uh you know and obviously you know by the time we're recording this it's just a couple weeks past the para with um with um a view and they brought you know foreign fire. Yeah. >> Right. Do [snorts] we do we have nowadays and this might be a struggle that we we we do in fact have um foreign fires or we do have things that that look like ydishkite that sound like ydishkite that smell like ydishkite but that's no that's not like that's not that's not exactly it and it could be we even have people who uh who are like that and it's it can be very confusing be very confusing It can be very confusing in a lot of ways for for our kids and in a way when certain like have we pushed it have we pushed the needle needle too far in some ways when it comes to self-imposing certain guidelines whether it's certain snear is about this kari's about that so how can one truly if mosheru got off a plane and came into kal today would he recognize us. [laughter] So the story with the burning bush is actually it's a very very moving insight. It comes from the sad and I when I saw it the first time a a number of years ago um it was it was life-changing because you know Mosher Rabain was about to liberate the Jewish people from bondage but suddenly they're starting to experience a bondage of a whole new level. a hashem, servants of Hashem. In many ways, when you're a servant of par, at least you can, you know, run away into hiding and and be free for a few minutes. When you're a servant of God, it's 24/7. Where you going to run from? >> You can't complain. >> So, you're taking me from one bondage into a whole different level of servitude, which is infinitely more consuming. >> Right? >> So, the first vision that he experienced was there's two types of fires. There's a fire that consumes you. There's a fire that obliterates you. There's a fire in which you're left consumed, not absolute. You're gone. And at that moment, he's teaching him what real is, what real, it brings out the best in you. It brings out the deepest serenity in you. It brings out the blessings of your personality. It makes you more creative, not like not less creative, more alive, not numb and dead, more passionate, not frozen and disassociated and detached. It's it's it it brings out the best version of you. Suddenly, you're alive. A relationship with Hashem means that your most authentic part is alive. your deepest, most authentic, most beautiful, most passionate, most dearing, most vulnerable, most pure, most pristine part is is resurrected. If I find Yiddishkite, you know, dulling my senses, uh crushing me, making me feel horrible about myself, making the people around me miserable, the closest people around me are anxious are anxious because of me. You know, somebody sent out a clip before somebody sends me it's I guess, you know, it was humorous. was they [laughter] they say it may not be a mitzvah to be anxious on PES but it's certainly a mitzvah to make everybody around you anxious you know if [snorts] I find that the people around me as a result of of my demeanor my behavior instead of being elevated instead of experiencing more love more depth more awe more reverence instead they're experiencing more tension and more anxiety you know if the sn is burning us up he's saying this is not the divine flame the med says as infusal. How do you know it's a divine fire? It burns. It's passionate. There's a lot of heat and intensity. But it doesn't eat you up. It doesn't consume you. Why doesn't it consume you? Because real bal real surrender to Hashem means that I am part of infinity. That I become a channel for infinity. It's not here to destroy me. It means that I'm part of Hashem. I'm an expression of Hashem. So when you become an expression of Hashem, so people suddenly experience your infinity, your infinite love, your infinite wisdom, your infinite depth. And I think you know these are some of the litmus tests in our own relationships and in our in our in our own yiddish kite. Of course the fire may challenge me, challenge me, uh [snorts] crack open my ego, force me to face things that I don't want to face, but those are things that ultimately are here to crack me open. You know, somebody once said, "When I was young, I worshiped perfection. Today, I search for everything that has a crack because it's the cracks that allow the light to come in." You know, being cracked open is not a negative. It's allowing the light to come in. But just cracking somebody without allowing their light to come in, >> that's that's feutal. That's not the point. >> It's like a John uh from the Beatles, John Lennon. So, he has a line like that about the Was it him or was >> I think this comes from Leonard. Leonard Cone. Leonard Cohen who was uh his name was Alza Cohen. >> Oh yeah. Alza he was he was a cayenne. >> He lived in Montreal and [snorts] my brother actually had a relationship with him. He passed away already and then I think he went to Zen Buddhism or something. He was a very very deep spiritual soul. He had a [snorts] lot of correspondence with my older brother Rabbi Simon Jacobson. He showed it to me once. Very very deep soul. So this is a line from him but really it comes from leim. Hashem doesn't disgrace a broken heart. What does a broken heart mean? The Balatana, right? What does it mean to have a broken heart? It doesn't mean I take your heart, I break it into pieces so you feel horrible. A broken heart means a cracked heart. It's not a heart that lives behind facades and masks and protections and defensiveness. It's a cracked heart so that the light could come in. >> And that's the point of it when the when when when the point of the sn is of course to crack open so that you experience the light, not that I just feel guilty and make the people around me feel guilty. >> Do you think Yeah. Do you think we're susceptible to that type of Yiddish kite though? Do you think that do you think that you know again that Mosher Benu would recognize us if he were to come into our community? Have we become firmer than uh than him and firmer than the than the Terra? >> It's it's it's it's it's a great question. I think the most authentic way to answer it is more on an individual basis. what we're seeing today now, what I'm seeing at least from my many many interactions with people when I teach, when I talk to people, the emails I receive, um the ones on the one-on- ones, lectures around the country and many different demographics and communities that I'm privileged to address. What I'm seeing is that there is a extremely profound yearning and angst by so many young people. There's there's there's tension. There's there's anxiety. And people are wondering where is this anxiety coming from. Let's face it, in terms of prosperity and opportunity and gifts and blessings, we have lives that our grandparents, our great-grandparents, and certainly our great great-grandparents couldn't even dream of. Not that they didn't have it. They couldn't even imagine it in their wildest dreams. Of course, there's crisis and of course there's tragedy and of course there's loss and of course we're still in exile. But relative to previous generations of Jewish history, we've been blessed in extraordinary ways. And people are wondering, I don't understand. Our parents, our grandparents, greats were orphans. Many of them were orphans. Many of them had miserable lives. Many of them have seen things that we can't even conceive of. Even when we read about it, we can't even conceive of. And yet it didn't seem like that they had so much anxiety. At least not many of them. Maybe they repressed it. Maybe they were into survival. And now there's a generation that relatively speaking, >> yeah, >> has so many blessings. And yet there's a deep anxiety. So some people, you know, like to blame the internet. And some people say we're just entitled generation. We are just bratty. We're spoiled. We're narcissistic. We have no gratitude. We have no appreciation. Um, [snorts] you know, there's a lot of different explanations and there may be grains or points of truth in each of explanation. I'm not the expert to delegitimize one or the other, but I think what we often don't uh catch on to is that there is a very powerful positive element in this anxiety and that is that so many people are searching for an deep embodied relationship with Hashem with Hashem MS a deep embodied experiential relationship with Yiddish that is not just based on checklists and showing up and doing the right thing in order to be able to conform to the system become part of the NASA machine or somebody once said the goal in my community is I hatch them I match them I dispatch them next call me but [snorts] rather a very very deep relationship and therefore a lot of things that maybe in previous generations they either didn't have the bandwidth or the mental space or the time to deal with is now coming up. >> Yeah, we're dealing with it now. >> Not not not because we're evil, because it's Hashem giving our generation the opportunity to repair, to fix, transform, and to take the Jewish people in the world from a posture of gulos, exile, into a posture of redemptive consciousness of gula. But to go into that space of Gulu, we have to be able to clear out our blockages. We can't just have a relationship with Yiddish that is skin deep or that is based on pressure or that is based on fear or that is based on not disappointing my parents. It's actually going from a relationship that's based on survival to a relationship that's based on bliss. Absolute bliss. But to get from survival to bliss, I have to work through all my blockages, all the triggers, all the stuff that separate us from each other. And I think what's coming up is a blessing for our generation to actually be able to heal all of this. I think it's good news. But teachers, parents, educators, mentors, instead of being afraid of this, I think we must see it for what it really, really is. I think that enormous amounts of people. They're just looking for truth. They're looking for real truth. They're looking for real healing. They want Hashem to be alive in their nervous system, not just on the books and not just [snorts] tell them a story of what used to be and therefore they have to live up to that even when they're not there. They want a deep relationship. This is the one of the great prophets was and he says he quotes Hashem that there's going to come a day Hashem says, "You're going to stop calling me my master. You're going to stop calling Hashem you're my master. What's wrong? By bi master. You're going to start calling me ishi my fire, my husband, my best friend, my passion. That's what the mafaram say. You heard of the of Leblin, the sear of Leblin, one of the great masters, student of the magazal 1914. >> [snorts] >> So the of writes that he heard from his friend the rebush of Anipali was one of the great masters also in the rich and he he says may he be well in other words he was still alive passed away a few years before the so he he was still alive and he said I heard from him [laughter] and this is from who was known as a very holy Jew if somebody else would say it you know he would probably be banned for this line. says that the Mishna says at the end of track date that one of the signs before Mashiach is coming is there's going to be a lot of and a lot of other like not not nice things a lot of things that we see today and one of the things is one of the signs is those who fear sin will be denigrated people will be repulsed by them if you fear sin you're not going to be popular you're not getting the likes you need you're not getting your subscribers you're not getting your fans You're not getting your advertisement. Those who fear sin will be disregarded, disgraced, denigrated. So the world understands it to mean that what our sages are saying is that there'll come a time when those who are fearful of sin will be the outcasts of society. We can't respect them. We're not interested in them. He said I heard from that there is a deeper interpretation here that there's going to be before Mashiach was actually very deeply spiritual and sensitive prediction. There's going to be a generation that serving God with fear and dread won't be working for them. They're going to disregard it cuz it's not firing them up. They're going to be looking for a relationship that is based on real connection, attachment, and love. So he says it's actually the greatness of a generation. And what meant with that is not that hashem, fear of God is not applicable today. God forbid is a mitzvah. It's a mitzvah. It's one of the mitzvah just like putting on fill and just like loving God, just like loving. But there's two types of fear of God. One is I fear you and therefore I really hate you. If I could only get rid of you. [laughter] I would love to get rid of you. I can't. So, I fear you. I dread your presence. But what should I do? I'm stuck. You're the boss. You're the master. You're bigger. You're stronger. I desperately need you. Even if I think in this world I don't need you, in next world for sure I need you. And I need you also in this world. That's one type of fear because that's what people are going to be disgusted with. It's not going to speak to them. It's not going to ignite them. They're looking for something else. They're looking for a different type of fear. There's a fear. I cherish our relationship so much. I am afraid to do anything that will ruin it. It's too good. You know, when you have a blissful marriage, you have a really amazing marriage. You come home at night and you're looking forward to come home. There's husband, [laughter] some people may be laughing. There's husbands or wives. Imagine they're coming home and even and before they enter into the house, they breathe and they thank Hashem that this is the person waiting for them in their house. Imagine a person has such a marriage. >> Yeah. >> This person will not avoid cheating, flirting, betraying because Google may know and somebody may find out and the police may found it out and my wife may found it out and my husband may find out and therefore I got to be careful cuz I don't want to do anything stupid to destroy my life. If that's your only motivation, okay, listen, I feel bad. But usually when there's a blissful relationship, it's like I am afraid to destroy something so amazing, so beautiful. And I know the blood, sweat, tears, love, passion, therapy, authenticity, vulnerability that went into build this relationship over 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 30 years. Yes, I am afraid in the most healthy way of obliterating and destroying something extraordinary for 5 minutes of superficial fun. That's what realashem is writes is actually in Paris. It's it's it's it's the fear of destroying something so amazing, so beautiful. I can't fake this. This is not fake. This is not on paper. This is something in my nervous system. If you want to put it in different words, you could say as follows. Knowing how much you really matter to somebody else is scary in a beautiful way. Knowing how much somebody cares about me for real is very scary. It means that I'm in a real relationship. It means what I say matters. What I do, what I what I do or don't do matters. It means that my presence is serious. It's meaningful. It's significant. You know, that's scary. There's something very very not scary about being irrelevant. >> That's why society doesn't get in relationships anymore. >> Exactly. >> Too messy. >> Exactly. That's why a relationship with Hashem is the most blissful experience. But it comes with tremendous sense of awe and reverence. Not awe because you're going to strike me down because you hate me because I'm a piece of garbage. It's the opposite. Knowing how infinite you are, knowing how meaningful your life is, knowing how much you're loved. Imagine if somebody would be able to experience for a minute how God experiences them. Imagine I should be able to experience Y Jacobson from Hashem's perspective for for 25 seconds. >> It probably change a lot of of preconceived notions that people have. >> Wow. Remember change everything. Remember before I existed, he conceived of me. >> My existence didn't start with my existence. My existence started with Hashem thinking about me, conceiving me, conceiving you, conceiving you. What was he thinking about? What did he imagine? >> Who did he see? What did he see in me? >> It's a scary thought. A lot of responsibility. >> Scary thought, but also the most powerful truth about our greatness. >> It's motivating. It's like, okay, I have a lot to I am not just an what they call an NPC, you know, a non-playable character that's just roaming around, a random guy walking in the back of a movie set. Everyone's a main character in a way. Everybody's a main character. That's and the Mishna says this 37, it's like a real thing. They believe this. Some sages believed [snorts] that the foundation or a foundational idea in Judaism, every person ought to say, "For me, the world was created." Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Relax, relax. There's a big world out there. Okay, I can understand Donald Trump having an assassination attempt. Again, if so many people want to kill him constantly, I guess there's something at stake. I get that. For me, a regular person, what are you? Are you crazy? Are you narcissistic? Do you have a god complex? But this is actually a very sincere idea. It's a very authentic idea. It means there's something at stake in my existence that is very, very real. It's very, very powerful. There's so much that Hashem has invested in my heart, in my soul, in my showing up, in my choices, in my presence. That's a different type of fear. So Rabzusha says there come a generation where people will not be inspired by somebody who can simply scare the living daylights out of them or imagine or or or be successful on imposing pressure on them. Maybe it's going to work and maybe it'll work for some people and fine. But what you're seeing today is that people really need to feel an internal experiential relationship with Hashem and nothing replaces that. There's nothing that can replace it. And over there there's no ego. There's no judgmentalism. It's almost a very deep, serene, tranquil place where you know you matter. You feel that you matter. You don't even know it. And you're not busy threatening your kids. You're not busy living in angst. You're radiating a peacefulness. And people feel it immediately. They just they know it. They feel it in their nervous system. You you regulated and you co-regulate people. It it feels like though a little bit of a steer between the the reality in which you're you're speaking of what the truth is about the world we live in and what's going on the the the meta world >> and kind of the way our system is is structured. We're kind of like it's like we have like this kind of cookie cutter uh system where this is this is and again I don't know if there is a better way how you educate masses >> but how how does how does anything you just said translate into the systems we currently have in the from world >> in every step of the way from yeshiva bakov seminary how where >> yeah oh you're asking uh you're asking a very very deep question are answer. [sighs and gasps] >> We have to take a deep breath for that. [laughter] >> You caught the the like the >> You know, it's like >> Yeah. [snorts] >> Cuz what you're [clears throat] say what you're putting down is so real and it makes a lot of sense. >> Yeah. >> And then you drop off your kid at school and it's >> uniform. >> Yeah. >> Figuratively and literally. >> Yeah. So I think the most authentic answer I can give to myself and to each and every one of us is ultimately my job in this world is not to change systems and not to fix systems, not to nuke them and not to criticize them all day and all night, but really to live in a different frequency. And we will be shocked by the impact of that. In other words, we can all get up and criticize this system, that system, that system. Maybe I'll be 100% right. Maybe I'll be 50% right. Maybe I'll be 10% right. Maybe I'll be wrong. But even if I'm 100% right, I am actually abandoning my responsibility and I'm actually going into victimhood mode. the big system city hall that nobody can change is just so powerful and it's bullying all of us into submission and we're all a bunch of neb cases. >> Bunch of rats, you know. Yeah. >> What are we supposed to do? >> But I think that's the wrong approach. >> Okay. So, you're saying the approach isn't to see yourself as a victim, submissive to a system that you live in. The the approach is if I am really channeling God's light through me at this very moment. This means that as the garra says of a person assumes the properties of the one who sent him. If Hashem has sent my soul into this world and I am his writ that means in a very real way I'm infinite. I'm channeling infinite line not because my ego is big or because of a superiority complex because when I surrender my ego to Hashem I start channeling Hashem and when that happens there's so many powerful transformations first of all in my heart. Second of all, in my kitchen, in my dining room, in my living room, in my marriage, in my children, in my students. And there's so much trust. Trust that every soul has it. Every soul has its capacity. Every soul has the courage it needs. My job here is not to tell people how bad everything is, how corrupt everything is, how everything has to be completely transformed because then again I'm going into the cycle of blame. I'm going into the cycle of victimhood. Let me be the change that I'm asking from other people. Let me embody that. I will never I've learned this in my life. I will never change anybody in the world. only to the extent that I'm ready to change myself. And I'll tell you something else. I will never be able, nobody will ever be able to meet anybody at a certain depth. If I want somebody to meet me at a certain depth, it's only if they met themselves on that level of depth. If not, the conversation will never go to those places. Only the places that I was ready to go into myself, those are the places I can go with you. And the same is true with everything else. So it's very nice to say, you know, this should change, that should change, that should change. A lot of times people are doing the best they can with the tools they have. Not always, you know, I don't I don't mean to use that cliche again, but the point is I heard something very powerful from my wife a while ago, and it it was very very powerful. I have to say my wife said, "Life is like a chess game. There's no way you can touch the pieces of the other side. If you're white, there's no way you can't touch not the pawns and not the king and not the queen. There's no way. You have no access to it in the game. But here's what you can do. You can move your piece. And when you move your pieces, they are forced to start moving their pieces. >> Okay? >> In a dance, in a dance, I cannot tell you how to dance. But if I start dancing in a particular rhythm, it compels you to change your dance. And not because I want you to change your piece. It's because you're responding to my chess pieces. >> It changes the conversation. >> It changes the conversation. It changes. >> Well, do it. Do it. Do just don't don't go. >> So, I could sit and say, "What a horrible [snorts] chess player you are. You don't know how to set up your pieces. You don't, you know, pawn and you don't move a horse here and a bishop here and a knight." And you know what? I may be right. I may be right. You're a horrible chess player. And I don't know why I'm playing chess with you. Okay, fine. And what happens? You could do one more thing. Take your pawn and move one step ahead. >> That That being said, right, Jacobson's not going to come on here and say, "Oh, the system the way it is is not good. It's well, you know, for for many reasons. One of them being what you just said. There's no there's there's nothing nothing you can't tell someone else to change." But if you were to create the system, [laughter] I found a loophole. If you were to create the system, right, do your own dance, move your own piece, what what what would you do? Meaning just like I want consistency with everything we just discussed. It kind of I I kind of feel that down. Like I feel like wow, that's really really awesome. Are we giving that over? >> Let's remember. No, the system is created by individual people who live in a particular mindset who have to answer to particular groups and communities. who have grown up in particular homes and communities >> who have been molded and crafted by their own parents, siblings, friends, rebies, teachers. >> Yeah. >> Right. The system is not some abstract galaxy living in a vacuum. >> It's not Dr. Midos or something, you know. >> Number one. Number two, inside the system you will find countless amazing blessings, gifts, opportunities, love, sacrifice, friendship, benevolence, people who stretch themselves, people who really care, people who know how to see other people. Just like you will find other things, >> right? >> You'll find other things. >> Now I have to ask me myself every morning when I wake up What does my creator want from me today? That's my question. I need to stay in my lane because if I go into another lane, all I'll do is cause an accident, create ruckus, create tension, confuse everybody. I will not help order on the highway. [laughter] I will not help the highway. I could stay in my lane. And that's the system I can create. The system I can create is the love, the authenticity that I try to channel into my heart, into my soul, and radiate it to my students, to my disciples, to my loved ones, and to anybody who's ready to share this incredible journey. I hear it's an on answer, though. That's the place where we have real power. That's the place where we have real power, >> right? I just I I hear it. I it just it feels I've had a lot of conversations. creates a great vision of art the old he said the mission says in the beginning oft we all have to dots everybody got to search for theirs but there's one condition a place that I don't bring to I not responsible to check so for example should I go into your house and start checking your pants pockets the answer is I never put kts in your pants but I may have put kts in my pants I got to check my pants. So he said once, you know, it's interesting. Many of us do it the exact opposite where I put int I don't have to check. I'm checking for in those places where I did not put int. I did not putts into other people. That's not where I have to dots. You know why? Cuz I don't know where it is. I don't know what it is. I'm going to be wasting my time. I may be searching in the wrong places and what I find may not even be what I'm looking for. But if I search for me, for my it's going to be successful. I know where I put in my I know where to search for. And that's true with all of these things. And that's really the most powerful thing. And you know what? When everybody does real in their own home, Clausal gets ready for PES. If I go to your home and you go to my house to dots, doesn't really work. And I think it's true with in every other area of life. Sometimes myik is the most inspirational thing that helps other people do their living. >> People have to realize how much influence they have. People have to realize how much influence they have. It's not a joke is not a joke. It's very very real. It's very powerful. People need to see their greatness, not their mediocrity. We are not mediocre. We are not small. We are not at the mercy. That requires I think it requires thinking for yourself. It requires a lot of using your brain. I recently recently did a live stream. >> Using your brain. >> Yeah. >> And remaining humble and vulnerable and having people who call you out on your facades and on your lies. So yeah, using your own brain, being creative, not just thinking what other people want you to think. That's true. That's part of God is counting at me to redeem the world. I have to think for myself. I can't just take orders from you and say this is how you're going to be creative. That's not how you redeem the world. That's 100% true. >> But without arrogance I just I just question where there where there is space for for one to actually feel. I I did a live stream recently on for our our um meaning plus and one of the topics that came up was Sha from Los Angeles was saying how it used to be that in order to ask a question to Sanhedrin. You really needed to not know the answer. You really needed to learn it and understand it for yourself. And if you could not find the answer, then you ask Sanhedrin and >> and you went to the local and then they went to the larger one, the larger one and nobody knew they finally went all the way up >> the end to the 71, right? >> And the first step today in 2026 is I call up and say, is this spoon kosher? It's like we're nobody's using their brain. We're not taught to think for ourselves, to act for ourselves. We've become very good followers and very good direction listeners and and and just you know abide by these guidelines do these things and it just it comes fa it comes face to face as we it's it's it's powerful what you're saying and I assume true for many of us and it reminds me there's a prophecy in your mo about the gula and he says that day that time It's going to be a time where people will not be teaching each other and say, "Come, let me tell you how to know God cuz everybody will know me from the youngest to the oldest, from the smallest to the greatest." So here we see a depiction of what gula looks like. It doesn't mean I'm not going to learn from anybody else. It doesn't mean I become an arrogant, superior, judgmental person to. It means there's going to be the deepest knowing is my inner knowing. Let me tell you something. Even if I have the most unbelievable person to consult, a really righteous, brilliant, genuine, holy person. Let's say I have that person. It still pales in comparison to the inner knowing. Your soul knows. Your soul is God is channeling a light through me. Of course, I want teachers and I want mentors and I want friends and I need feedback. And God wants us to get married in order to be able to get not just compliments, but to get critical feedback, right? The nitiv says as sometimes the greatest help your spouse can give you is when she opposes you, when she says you're barking of the wrong tree. It's all important, but it's important as a mitzvah. It's important as a prep. What's the ultimate? ultimate is your inner knowing. It's it's your inner knowing. It's your own rule. I I I for me one of the most I don't know I it's such a moving pH it's one of the most I find it such a moving versehu comes to moenu and he says there's two guys elder and maid they weren't appointed as prophets you appointed 70 prophets and they are mak they're doing their own thing they made their own system [laughter] they created their own school of prophecy incarcerate them, climb, put them in a bayaka. The Gomorrah says, "Incarcate, put them in prison. Silence them, suppress them. They're like a real competition. Moshe is the man. He's the Nvy. Like, he's the guy. And you appointed 70 people under you. Great. But these guys are doing it on their own, right? Yua is a good student." And Misha responds to him and says to him these words, "Are you jealous for me?" Let me tell you my dream. I have a dream. My dream is that the entire nation of God become prophets. That Hashem confers his spirit on every single Jew. You're telling me that there are two Jews prophesizing? I'm looking forward to the day when I could see 15 million prophets. That's my dream. That's what he tells you at. You're becoming a canoy. You're jealous [laughter] for me. You don't know. You don't understand me. You think there's a company called mosha.com. Moses.com, right? >> Incorporated. Nonforprofit of course, but incorporated. 501c3. And we have we have a brand. We have a brand. And we live in a world with brands, right? You have a brand. People have brands. I have my he says Yeshua, you're you're you're missing you're missing the core. And if one day you're going to become a leader, [laughter] you're going to have to understand this. The moment you're getting jealous because somebody else is channeling God's wisdom, then you shouldn't look asu. If that's who I am, fine. I should go into real estate. I should go into a different field. [laughter] I could go into a field where, you know, where there's this type of competition. My dream is now this is a this is what is he teaching us here this is a eternal message that the dream of the greatest prophet was that everybody should be a prophet really come on this is your brand Misha is the na'vi like come there's no prophet like this is not that's how we view it from a place of insecurity place of brokenness from a place of not understanding what infinity is, of thinking that if I own God and I have a monopoly on God, somehow my brand will be the best in the world and it's going to go for eternity. And it's completely stripping myself from the gift of a real real relationship with truth and there's nothing that replaces that because no ego in the world, no validation in the world can replace that. So Mosha says this is my deepest dream. What does this me really mean? That's what I want for my child. That's what I want for my student. You're the prophet. You're the prophet. Now, if I stand up tomorrow and I say, "Guys, YJ is a prophet and God told me that the million dollars you have in your bank account should be transferred to my >> seen that documentary, >> right?" So, I we understand what that means because to be a prophet means I'm constantly constantly cleaning my antenna. Constantly cleaning my antenna. But this is really what inner knowing is. This is what inner knowing is. And all education is to help us get to this point. It's to help you get in touch with the knowledge that you have embedded in the DNA of your soul, which is a piece of God. >> I love it. I love it. But it's not. >> Okay, here we go. >> You know what I'm saying? >> Famino, you as me, but why? I I just uh with what with what we've been taught, what's in our our what's in our the blueprint for our life and and the the things that we settled for. It just it just seems like a disconnect. It just seems like we're we're we're we're settling we're like missing the forest of the trees. We're settling like if everyone is meant to be a prophet, everyone's meant to achieve that level of to shine the light that Hashem put are we do you think that we're creating leaders or creating followers? >> It's it's a great question. >> We're not putting anyone we're not putting anybody down. Everyone's amazing. Are we creating leaders in Cly? >> What's your gut say? I hope that anybody listening to this podcast will have their fire ignited in their belly >> 100% >> to say that I could think for myself. I have access to the truth. I am a channel for Hashem. deep down I am a prophet and I could embody the greatness that God has conferred upon me. So if that's the case, the greatest answer to your question is we are creating them right now. >> I hope so. It doesn't matter about the past. You're right. >> We're creating them right now. >> I I you know like I think that's first that's a great answer. >> [laughter] >> You know, you want to run for president. You do great on the debate stage. Um, >> it's also the truth. >> Yeah. No, I hear it. It's future focus. >> You sound like I squirreled out of your question. >> It's future focused. I I understand it. I I appreciate it also because >> it's future focused and it's also focused on the truth that exists in every single person deep down in the present that even in the past. Now [snorts] you do have to understand that we Jews have been through a lot. We've been through purgatory. We have been through ganim a million times over physically, emotionally, spiritually. You know, we look at the Holocaust as the greatest black hole of history. But if you would do Jewish history till the Holocaust, there was enough to create the thousand tishabs every day of the year. That's before Hitler. Yeah. before Hitler. So, we also have to cut the Jewish people some slack. We like to be very hard on ourselves. But I want you to understand, God spoke to us once 3,338 years ago. Once he revealed himself once 3,338 years ago. And you still have millions of Jews who are obeying what they heard three and a half thousand years ago. >> Beautiful. They're not eating for 8 days. They're putting on fill it in the morning. They're not igniting a fire on Shabas. >> Hopefully, they're getting matzah also. Depends where they are for PES, you know. >> Depends which program depends which program, right? I heard about a program that Matzah didn't. >> I know. Yeah. >> Crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. >> Yeah. Wow. [snorts] So, so we we have to understand that of course we have developed survival templates in very very dramatic ways. >> Yeah. And some of the deepest experiential prophetic elements of Judaism went undercover. It went undercover. Um, >> we got to uncover. We got to we got to bring it back now. >> That's that's the void of our generation. This is it. You're touching it now. You're touching it. And it's it's very very exciting times because we're at the cusp of it. The says he says this what everything I'm saying he says there's going to come a time my spirit is going to be poured on every living organism and your sons and daughters will all be prophets. So we could look at it and say yeah when Mashiach comes God will make all these weird miracles and and all of us simple dummies will become prophets. But that's a very superficial way of looking at it because history is evolving. Gulus morphs into gula. It's not two separate worlds. So what that really means is that as we get closer to the end of gullus, we're cracking open. Our antennas are starting to channel this. And until you don't find the prophet inside of you, you haven't found yourself. >> And that's why and that's why there's anxiety. People are looking for a prophet inside of them and when they're the response that we give TO THEM IS OH just follow the rules. OH, YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ALL THE RABBIS. OH, A NEW BRILLIANT PHILOSOPHER. You and a you and Chad GBT have the answers to everything. Your father knew Zen knew your Ela Za. Good points. Good points. Because my father has had a lot of wisdom. My grandfather had a lot of wisdom. But don't don't destroy the prophet. They're looking for the prophet inside of them. They're looking to change the world. They're looking for their fire. And they have it. The garra says in Shabas, page 119, don't touch, don't damage my Messiah, my anointed ones. So the Gmorrah says, who are my Messiah's children? Every Jewish child has a little Messiah [snorts] flickering inside of them. Either they want to be Mashiach or they want to bring Msiah. As we get older, we conform. We become cynical. I got to make a living. I got to pay my mortgage. I got to pay tuition. Got to send your daughter to seminary. You got to make a wedding. You're just trying to survive. You're not trying to heal the world anymore. You know, when we're young, we're idealistic. So the says, "Don't kill that spark in people. Don't kill that Msiah sparking people. That child inside of you who is still stareyed, curious, inquisitive. That child walking with you to Schul and says, "Tati, why is the sky blue? Why is the sidewalk gray? Why are streets black and why are trees green? Why are there no grass in Brooklyn? Why don't we have grass? Tati city? We're talking talking Yeah. You know those kind. Oh, leave me alone. I don't know. You'll figure it out. You'll ask your science teacher." Yeah, >> right. That openness, you know, don't kill that in people. >> So, I don't want to ask you the old 20 minutes ago would have asked you would have asked you, "Yeah, but do you think that we're how do we how do we on an individual level on an indiv individual basis in the fast-paced world we live in in the Shabas to Shabasia just trying to get through the week? We all go to work. We all and we're just trying to keep our head above water with with finances, with with marriage, with kids, with everything. How do we not how do we how do we p how do we like keep that that that spark alive in in our in ourselves but in our kids? How when the world we live in? Yeah. With all the chaos you know what I just had Dr. Rosemary in here sitting in your seat. He's >> Yeah. an expert in anxiety. And he had said that the the average child walking around today has more anxiety than the kid in the 1950s would be put into a a cycle for the average child walking around today in 2026. >> Wow. >> Has the same or if not more anxiety than >> he's a Harvard professor, isn't it? >> He's a Harvard professor. Yeah. >> So he did his research. >> He's done his research and that is a that's in his book. I read in his book even that stat >> for that the child would be put into a psych wart for for what the average child is walking around today. >> Wow. Wow. W >> and we're trying to uh we say that there's a messiah spark inside of him. >> But I think it's literally the same thing. I think it's the other side of this Msiah spark. It's an inf it's an infinite energy. And if I don't open myself up to the infinity of the energy, you know what it translates as? infinite anxiety, infinite stress, infinite depression. >> See the floodgates are open disord floodgates are open literally. >> It's just whatever you're going to channel right now. >> So either I'm channeling light in a powerful powerful way. I'm stepping up to the plate >> and it takes a lot. I have to let go of my pain. I have to let go of my stories of victimhood. Remember our stories of pain are real. And we need to grieve them and we need to give them credit and we need to legitimize them. And we spoke last time about the challenges of stigmatizing mental illness, anxiety. I spoke to you about, you know, when I was a child, how much I would pull pull my hair out. And you should know after that thing, I got so many responses of people who have this what is it called? Trickle mania where they pull their hair out. Yeah. >> It was so it was so refreshing for them that I could sit here and say that I struggled with this for many years. In fact, till not long ago, I would still pull my hair out. And this is I started at age eight. And you know, then I didn't know the word anxiet anxiety. >> Definitely didn't know the word trickle. Yeah. >> Exactly. And people did not go to therapy then. Um it wasn't even part of the you know equation in at least many of our communities. It was so refreshing for people. So I think it's very very important. You know part of our cracking open is that we can talk about things in a vulnerable way and then realize that we are greater than our pain. Of course, pain is part of our story and we need to be able to pay tribute to it and we need to be able to grieve it and we need a support system. And then we need to know that if I am forced or anybody's forced to reduce the power of my life to my pain thinking that that's what makes me exciting and appealing and dramatic and romantic and rich. I am so depriving myself of my real greatness. Your infinity is so much more exciting than your pain. >> Your pain is exciting and your pain should be spoken about, but it's so much more exciting. So, it takes a lot of courage to let go of that, to let go of all these. >> I was discussing this with Dr. Shami Zman recently about like there obviously is a lot of people who have experienced a lot of pain whether it's abuse or whatever it may be. there's no shortage, you know, and and it could be we overcorrected in how we deal with a lot of these things from not dealing with that at all to to coddling people who have experienced pain. And they can kind of feel um absolved from the responsibility to grab a hold of their own life and say that you were hurt, you were wronged, you were you were you were violated, but do you want to live your life? Do you want to grab a hold of your life and make it yours? or do you want to surrender it to the person who hurt you? >> Okay. So, I have this with this I have very I have deep experience both personal and with many people. So, it's very true what you're saying but there's a very important caveat. >> Mhm. >> And that is many people who were hurt take for example victims of molestation or other forms of emotional or physical abuse. And sometimes emotional abuse, you know, just because it's emotional and it's not physical and it's not sexual, it doesn't mean that it does not wreak havoc in the person's psyche and life. Lack of attunement, uh, emotional neglect, uh, internal shame and guilt and all these things. Many of them have heard throughout their life explicitly or implicitly, do you want to wallow in your grief? Do you want to wallow in your pain and go on podcasts and tell us how horrible your house is, your system, your school, the Orthodox community, the from community, the kadesha community, this community, that community, or you want to live. What that did was reinforced their pain. It reinforced their victimhood. It told them once again, I cannot trust anybody. Nobody's really here for me. The only one who knows my pain is me and therefore let me go again into isolation. Let me once again detach because nobody gets my connect because nobody really gets it. And even the nice people, even those nice naki Gordens of the world or Dr. Zimman who's dealing with abusers, all they have to say is, "Okay, you're in pain. You were wrong. We're going to protest the perpetrators. We're going to yell at them. We're going to say the truth. No problem. And now time to get up. Get your act together. What do you think? You think you think >> what they're hearing and and he means well and you mean well and everybody means well. Everybody really you're not talking about sinister perpetrators, God forbid, talking about people who actually want to see them thrive. What their nervous system which is still three years old, >> right? >> There's an infantile nervous system who is hypervigilant and alert. And what he's hearing is loser. Again, I'm the loser. I misunderstand loser. You know what? I'm not going to do this. Either he goes into more shame or he becomes aggressive. And now he's going to speak out against all the professionals who also fell prey to the system that doesn't validate. >> So you think there's no there's no scenario and >> so so the only we have to work with their nervous system. >> So it's very it's very clinical. >> It's it's very I wouldn't use the word clinical. It's very very sensitive. >> Okay. What I could do is what we what we ought to do from my experience is we need to give them an experiential emotional feeling. What does it feel like in your nervous system if you let go of your pain and you feel your bliss? An experiential experience, not a not a lecture. The lecture may be amazing. I may have stories about Victor Victor Frankle and all of the other heroes who were in the worst darkest places and they used it as a catalyst for growth and they stopped complaining. But the nervous system is a four-year-old boy, a six-year-old girl who suffered for so many years and they're just shutting down on you again. And I think a lot of us with good intentions don't realize that they're not. >> It takes time and it takes attunement to that space. >> I don't want to tell them get your life together. I don't want them I want them to feel something else. I want them to experience in their nervous system. What does it feel like to know themselves from their own space of infinity and greatness rather than from the place of pain? What does their soul look like? Back to my question before, can they experience themselves the way God experiences them? When Hashem thinks of them, what does he think of? Oh, this molested victim. uh this wretched heart. Oh, this insecure person who thinks he's a loser. Is that like his initial thought? >> Probably [laughter] like like probably for for many of us. >> That's what I know. Exactly. >> It's uh Torah VR should make like of this this update. See yourself through Hashem how Hashem sees you. >> But but but this is an issue. You see information is information. what I'm feeling in my bones, what I'm feeling in my nervous system, which is the bridge between my mind and my body, I won't be able to deny. And there is such a deep delight and joy and serenity that comes over, it washes over the person like a mikvah when you can experience for once the feeling of safety in Hashem's arms. By the way, the whole Tahillim is this. I shouldn't say the whole much of is describing this viscerally. He had so much pain from his own family. So much pain. My own brothers have out sent me away. My father and mother. Wherever he serve, wherever he looked, it was abandonment. Abandonment. Abandonment. And yet what made David was he managed to be able to find that self, that child who was given the unconditional sense of his non-negotiable value in the eyes of God. He describes himself. Now here you're talking about a king, a warrior, commander-in-chief, a very powerful person who knew how to fight wars. And he says, "But I experienced myself as a silent child in the arms of his mother, literally a suckling child." You know that sense of safety and regulation that the child experiences when his mother is looking at him or looking at her and the child feels that the mother does not want to be anywhere in the world but right here. And suddenly you're overtaken by a sense of inner dignity and safety that nothing can cancel. Now so few of us have this. Many of us don't even know what it means. So we learn to survive and we build up personalities and templates and coping mechanisms to be able to avoid this pain to be able to avoid this void and be successful in a world. But in this particular space we are orphaned. where you feel so bereff the moment a person can experience that space now I don't have to tell them anymore you're bigger than your pain you don't have to wallow in it I can look at them and they know themselves that they have touched something in them that all the pain in the world can't bring them to because the pain can simply bring them to a lot of places but this is their infinity it's it's it's their love it's their indispensable value. It's their a scythe. And suddenly they realize that all their pain was a catalyst and a springboard simply to be able to appreciate this even more to be able to empathize with people more to be able to become beacons of light, ambassadors of healing for so many others. So this is just a a I think a very important caveat for all of us, >> right? And I think it's so true also with many teachers, rashas, rebes, rebes, mashim, mothers, fathers. You know, we see a person struggling and we want to get them out of it and we give them this amazing lecture with kindness, with stories. We mean well, but I'm not addressing their templates. I'm not addressing what is blocking them. What's blocking them is not the lecture. They have all the information. They would love to. What's blocking them is an infantile child who will not let go of that because if he lets go of that or she lets go of that and they let go of their hypervigilance, they may be stabbed once again and they're not going to go there. They don't even want to go there. So I think this is part of uh of really helping ourselves and others. I speak from personal experience here by the way. I hope you realize this. I'm not preaching here uh abstract philosophical psychological truths that I read in some book or checked up on AI before. I'm talking from personal experience, my own journey. I've had some very painful experiences in my life and there was times in my life that this pain was completely repressed. I did not know about it. It was trauma completely unaccessed by me, unprocessed, subconscious, but wreaking havoc in my system. One of the examples was me pulling my hair out. It was my body protesting what's happening inside of me, demonstrating anxiety, but I didn't have a language or a vocabulary even to know where to search for it. And then there came a period in my life where I began to process it more. I began to see it more. And I I I I had to go through that journey where realizing that the pain is important. Telling people to repress it, forcing them to repress it is a crime. It also doesn't work. It comes back in vengeance. We don't have to amputate any part of ourselves. We're allowed to see everything. We need to see everything. When we need to cry, we're allowed to cry. When we need to grieve, we're allowed to grieve. We have a tish above. We have a we don't have to confuse the two. And then I also realized one of my mentors said, you know, you have to make a choice and realize that as valuable as your pain is, if you think for a moment that without your pain, you're going to become a boring person. Rabbi Ya will be a boring guy. So that meaningful minute will not interview you. Nobody else will interview you. Cuz what are you going to say? What are you going to say? Oh, I enjoyed Chulland last Shabas and uh yeah, you know, Schul is fine and Pes was fine and we're preparing for cheesecake was like if you don't have a story of pain like what's the drama? What are you selling? What are you selling? What that life is good? Nobody's interested. You know pain is traumatic. And if this person said if that's what you're deep subconsciously if you're worried about it simply means that you haven't scratched the surface of your greatness. It simply means that you don't realize who you are. Because if God is living inside of you and he's living inside all of us, God is much more interesting than all the pain that happened to you. It's it's infinite. It's there's infinite richness there. And then the pain actually is part of the journey. It's part of your greatness. It's part of what made you who you are. It's part of what made you the sensitive person you are. All the depth. And I know in my life there's certain there's certain experiences that I can relate to and resonate with. And when people hear me talk about it, they know I get it. And there's only one reason cuz I was there. I was in the trenches. I felt it. If I just read about it in a book or heard about it, I may be able to talk about it, but it's not on the same level. So suddenly I realize that all these experiences are transformed into tremendous tools for bringing light into the world. Yeah, that might be I mean it could be people didn't know that. It could be they listened to to you speak and they said, "Oh, he's has a lot of knowledge. Must have read a lot of uh I mean you must have photographic memory." But but you said like this is experience. This is not this is not something you're just saying from a matter of logic. It's from emotion as well. >> I think I think it resonates with people in a very different way. >> Yeah. >> I think it resonates. I think we know when our brain is hearing something or when our body, nervous system and soul is also hearing it. My brain can hear it and it goes in from brain to brain. Brain to brain. I register it. I file it. And if I'm an emotional person, I may even, you know, translate it into some emotion. But then there's sometimes, you know, when you feel that somebody is emboding something. They're just like living it. They're emboding it. It's almost more important than their words is their embodiment and it just it touches a different cord. >> Yeah. Words that emanate from the nervous system penetrates the nervous system. Very good. >> Perhaps. >> Yeah. Perhaps paraphrase. >> Yeah. >> One of my children who is a very deep soul once told me something and I was like whoops. You know sometimes you hear from your child something you won't hear 10 years in a therapist's office or from your best friends or teachers. He said to me, "Tati," these were his words literally almost verbatim. He says, "Tati, when you start embodying everything you teach, you won't have to be using so many words." [laughter] >> Wow. >> That's like worse than a Shiva world comment, you know? [laughter] >> How'd you respond? >> He says, "You use so many words because you're still not embodying what you're teaching. So, you're looking for the words to to convey it because you're not embodying it. What What was my response? I paused. I breathed. My insecure, traumatic ego wanted to, of course, convince him that he's wrong right away, >> you know, >> by saying a lot of words. >> By saying a lot of words, by explaining to him not understanding what teaching is, you know, I had my whole lecture. There was even another part that would, you know, would protest the disrespect. You know, those were all little infantile, undeveloped parts. I'm grateful that I'm in a stage in life where I could see them. I could see them popping up. I could see them wanting to take over the conversation. >> And then I could make a choice. Am I going to be a four-year-old listening to my child [laughter] >> or am I going to be a father >> who's listening to my child? So, I actually I don't I don't even know if I said anything. I think I was silent. >> How long ago was this? >> This must have been a year. Probably a year ago, maybe a little more. >> It's probably not something you >> It was It wasn't like It wasn't like, "Let's sit down on the couch, talk to you." It was in the kitchen. I probably came to get an apple. He came to get an orange. And it was almost in passing. He's like, "Thest forks. Oh, by the way, >> by the way, [laughter] all your words." Now, he was saying something. I knew it was true. I knew I knew with my inner knowing it was true. >> Did Did anything change for you after hearing that? It's only a year. >> I hope that things are changed and I hope that things are constantly changing and I don't know that I have the perfect answer cuz on one hand I'm teaching a lot of people and I don't know exactly who's listening, >> right? You know, if it's not chabas, it's live streamed. And even if it's chabas, there's a lot of people. And everybody's in a different space. And we live in a world where words are quite valuable. And I shouldn't be the one to attack words cuz it's how I make my living. But it is so true that uh one of the most beautiful teachings of the Alba the Balatana is that words are both the greatest blessing of existence and also the greatest trap of existence. They're the greatest blessings because they allow us to communicate and convey. We have this conversation because of words. >> Yeah. >> On the other hand, they are the greatest trap because they allow us to make believe we're having an experience when we're not having an experience. We're just using words to describe the experience. Words become a great substitute for truth. And that's when they become a trap, especially when you're talking about deep emotional, spiritual truths. And it's a it's it's a very it's a very deep challenge for all of us. The word of the the Maharal of Pra has something incredible. The Gmorra says in that when a child is in the womb, child learns the whole Torah. And then when we come out, right, the angel comes and gives you a little flick on your mouth [snorts] and you forget the whole Torah. So the moral of Prague says what does this mean? Like what's this whole Torah that you learned in nine months? You learned the whole Torah. Why am I in yeshiva for 15 years? Do it in nine months. Right? And then this Malik comes on your mouth and and the Maral says the mouth represents the power of speech. He says, "The moment we learn about speaking and articulating things in words, we forget the whole Torah." Meaning in the womb, you're given an experience of the entire Torah as a holistic, indivisible, infinite entity. It's not words. It's an experience of the divine. But we live in a world where everything has to come into words and words create fragmentation. You don't have anymore the holistic experience of it. And we could make believe that that's substituting an experience. And that's where it becomes a very deep trap. In fact, in one of my own u internal uh moments of reckoning, I had a very very deep experience where I asked somebody to give me an emotional experience. I wanted to feel an emotional experience. And the response that I imagined hearing from this person was I can't give you an emotional experience but I will give you the words in which you can describe the emotional experience and the fact the person said that will be much better for you because in the world emotions are messy and words will actually create order out of the chaos. The pain I felt that moment was so visceral because I realized that the definition of life is our emotional connections. And it was almost like this person was telling me that wire is not available. Like that wire can't connect. I will give you words to compensate for it. But when words compensate for it, it's really a very deep painful experience because they can't. >> Yeah. >> Words are blessings as long as they know their role. The moment they forget their role and they're stepping in to fulfill another role, they become actually such a great trap. And I learned that in my own life. I learned it in my own life because I'm good with words. [laughter] >> God has given me the gift of verbiage. >> You can get away with any. You have the words. You don't have to you don't have to approach anything. >> Yeah. Yeah. My wife jokes on one of our dates. It was I don't know the third or fourth date. She was trying to tell me something and it wasn't coming out. So I said, you know, Estie, just tell me what you want to tell me and I'll tell you how to say it. >> [laughter] >> you know, so and and I I I should say that for I I think in many years in my life for many years at least that was partially true for me where I got away with the words. I knew the right words. And I wouldn't I wouldn't say that they were lies. I I never tried to deceive or lie. But by definition, there was an emptiness there because I knew how to get away with the words. I knew how to describe things that I didn't really experience. I think I experienced it subconsciously. So the words were gleaning from some inner wisdom but I had no conscious awareness of it. >> So from my perspective it was detached and ultimately it was painful. >> Do you have do you do you ever look back at at I mean it could be there's videos or those there's speeches >> a lot of that. Well yeah >> and and you and you see you look at yourself and that was kind of before you had the consciousness of what your journey was. >> Yeah. So it is sometimes very hard for me to uh see pictures or videos or hear myself because I feel I feel the brokenness. I feel the inauthenticity and not even consciously necessarily like I may have been trying to do the right thing. I think at least most times I try to do the right thing at least very often but it was just almost like unconscious which is sometimes even worse because it reres havoc without me even knowing. So yeah, it is hard for me. I asked once one of my mentors. Um I said there's a part of me that feels like a desire to erase hundreds and thousands of videos, clips, audio messages from those years because I felt that I was not emboding a lot of things like I I think my messages were good. They weren't like destructive and horrible, >> you know. I wasn't. But for me, I felt that once you have the truth. >> Exactly. Or at least more of it. I'm not going to say I have the truth, but at least at least I'm I I'm try to be more aware of it and striving for it. >> And this person told me something very comforting, a very very authentic person who was heard a lot of my classes. And this person said, "You should know that God used you as a channel even when you weren't there. >> You should just realize that >> God used you as a channel. Don't make this all about yourself. I was there. I wasn't there. God used you as a channel and a lot of healing and a lot of wisdom and a lot of truth came through you. Even if you didn't know what in the world you were talking about and part of you said, I don't even believe this or I don't feel this and therefore I don't I think I don't believe it. That you don't have to erase it. That was a very comforting That was a very comforting feeling. >> Wow. Wow. I really really appreciate the time. We're almost at an hour and a half, but uh we're going to have to have another follow up, you know, but uh I think people are going to hear the authenticity and they're going to really feel that it's palpable and u I think they'll a lot we we covered a lot of different ground in this podcast. We you were asking me for a few days like what's the topic? What's the topic? I'm like >> Rabbi, we'll just sit down. We'll figure it out, you know? We'll just go, you know. >> Yeah. Because there's a part of my brain that always searches for structure. And part of that is good, you know, preparing a class. I don't like when people give speeches and they don't have structure, >> right? >> A beginning, a middle, an end. You know, somebody once said to me, "Tell them what you're going to tell them, then tell it to them. Tell them what you told them and sit down." >> So, there's, you know, part of my brain that thrives on structure, loves structure, cherishes structure. That's what I was asking you for. >> Podcast world, that's the beauty of 2026. There's no structure. Exactly. >> It's just infinite just flowing, you know? >> Right. >> But thank you. Thank you so much for for all the wisdom and all the realness you brought. I appreciate it. >> Thank you for the thank you for the opportunity. Thank you for the privilege. I feel you know those words of I just want to conclude with this. Those words of you know it wasn't just a feudal dream of a generous man who was hoping that the nation will be prophets. When speaks he's identifying potential. This is a statement of discernment. What he was telling Yah Yeshua is when you look at a Jew, I want you to see the prophet inside of him, the prophet inside of her. And then there won't be any jealousy anymore. Because when we're all prophets, we're all rays of the sun, channeling the light of the sun. I never saw a ray of the sun getting angry at another ray and like, "Don't go to his house. Don't go to his I'm going to his house." >> Why don't rays get upset at each other? The answer is two things. First of all, they know that the sun has enough light for every house, for every ray. [laughter and snorts] And number two, they just see themselves as being so privileged to channel the sun. So, it's not about them. And I think when we realize these two things, we heal our people and we heal our world. Thank you. >> Amen. >> Thank you all for watching this episode. I want to let you know that these episodes are available early and adree on meaningful plus. And of course, there is follow-up to most of these episodes. Like last week's episode with Dr. Rosemary, we had an extra 10 minutes with him that was published just on meaningful plus. So to get access to that, plus a lot more content from a lot more creators. Go ahead and become a plus member right now. 3-day free trial. So you could try it out, make an account, and after 2 days you say, "Oh, it's not for me." No problem. Cancel it. You're not charged. 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