When Zaidy Was Young by Rabbi Shmuel Kunda from Oorah's Shmorg

[Music] Zadei. My friend Yona told me that his Zadei was born in Europe in a place called Frankfforter and his Bubby was born in the city of Hamburger. I told him that in places with those kind of names, I bet they were never hungry. They're pronounced Frankfurt and Hamburgelli. Those are cities in Germany. Where were you born, Zadeie? Oh, I was born and raised on the Lower East Side. Which part of Europe was that? There was right here in New York City. That's where many of the Jews lived before the war. Really? I didn't know there were any Jews here before the Civil War. The Civil War? You think I'm that old? I'm not that old. Was it much different when you were a little boy than it is today, Z? Oh, it most certainly was. For example, we didn't have a nice house like this to live in. Well, where did you live, Zadeie? We lived in an apartment on the fourth floor of an old tenement building on East Broadway. It was some job shing groceries up the stairs. Yes, I remember it well. Here I think he has three cents for carrying my groceries up to my apartment. Oh, thank you Mrs. Fishevski. I can't believe it. Three whole pennies. Wait till I show my friends. But Zadeie, what good is three pennies? You can't even buy a half eaten pashkus jelly bean with that. In those days, three pennies bought you a rubber ball, a toy ring, and a long pretzel. It did? Oh, it must have been great to be a kid on the east side in ancient times. A lady, I could just imagine how much fun it was. When I was just a little boy, life was full of fun and joy. So many things that could be tried. When I grew up on the east side, every face was full of smiles. Laundry hanging out for a miles. And you never ate a pickle with a fork. People hungled on the price. Then returned the merchandise in that crowded little corner of New York. When we were all just little guys, went and borrowed some old bikes. The other kids made me the guy to show them all that old side. We saw peddlers push their wares and shoes on the stairs. Daddy's river mounting boat holds a bike. From the Lansancy street to brand, everybody waved a hand. They all knew me on the side of New [Music] [Applause] York. When I was just a little youth and I still had a shaky tooth. When I was still a little kid, the funny things I saw and did. We built castles in the snow. Then twinkling the living. Friday night we took a frosty midnight wall. Every neighbor was a friend and the memories never end. on that lower east side of New York. [Music] Did you have your own room, Syd? Why sure, except I had to share it with my three brothers and two baby sisters. that when my cousin Level came to visit, he slept there, too. That sounds awfully crowded. Ellie, did you ever hear the expression, he put his foot in his mouth? I think so. Well, when I woke up in the morning, I often thought of that expression because I would usually find my cousin Leml's foot inside my mouth. Cousin Leml, could my mouse? Oh, Zadeie, how did you ever get any sleep? You must have been very tired when you got on the school bus the next day, Zadeie. Oh, we didn't have a school bus in those days. I took the trolley to Yeshiva every morning down East Broadway. Trolley? What's a trolley? What's a trolley? How can I describe it? It was a kind of wooden box on wheels running on trash in the middle of the street. And did it make a noise? I bite the jala. Let's go, Hashy. Hurry or we'll miss the 815 trolley. I'm coming, Manny. I'm coming. But these books are so heavy. Wait, Mr. Trolley driver. My brother's almost here. Please wait. Come along, Raj. I'll hold the door open only a few more seconds. Hurry, Ashie. Please [Music] hurry. Shoo. I made it. Here's my nickel, Mr. Trolley man. Driver person. Just put it in the box and take a seat. Here come the trolley. There goes the trolley. I see the trolley rolling down the street. Let's watch the trolley. Let's catch the trolley. Jump on the trolley. Find yourself a sea rattling and shaking. The neighborhood's awakening. When that old trolley comes a clanking down the track to the west side, down through the east side. Look everybody, the trolley's coming back. So jump on the trolley. You'll feel so jolly riding the trolley. From Henry Street to East Broadway. I'm on the trolley. Climb on the trolley. Let's ride the trolley the entire day. All right, Large. This should be your stop now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Zadeie, were you a good student? Well, good. a stu I was I a a what was I a good what you know a good student in school well in school that's a very good uh question Elliot well I guess I was pretty good in humish and rashi but in geography oh that sometimes drove me insane hel himstein are Are you paying undivided attention? I think so, Mrs. Zamberg. Well, then tell us the name of a southern state beginning with the letter V. Uh, Williamsburg. I will have none of this grearious laughter in this class. Hashel, please write Virginia 25 times. Yes, Mrs. Did you ever go shopping in the supermarket, lady? Supermarket? We had no supermarkets when I was a boy. On Wednesday, mama would take us to the fish market to buy a big live fish, which she brought home in a metal pale. [Music] Mommy, look a fishy. Oo, one of them looked at me. Hello, Antonio. Could you take me out of this? Here she go. Will you look at this a bigger boy? He tell me this morning he wants to go home with a Mr. Hamilton for now. Isn't that a nicer? Now, Mr. Hamilton. What's it going to be? You going to take this a bombino? No, Antonio. This one looks like he could use a good doctor. I'll take this one here. He looks nice and healthy. I'll carry you, Mr. Hamilton. Whatever you say. Here she goes. Antonio, please weigh it and tell me how much it is, but this time give me a good price. I charge you with just the 85 cents. I That's so overpriced. It's a sh ridiculous. Here, take 75 and be happy. Okay. Okay, Mr. Hamilton. But then you send me back a nice piece of yoga fil. And then we got a deal. Yes, we finally did manage to get it into the pale and luggage the three blocks to my house and up the four flights of stairs. But where did you put it once you brought it home? Where we put it? In the bathtub, of course. In the bathtub. Well, where else? The fish didn't seem to mind. At least he never complained. We kids watched our pet fishers swim around and around till mama chased us off to bed. But Zadi, did everyone have fishes in their bathtub? No, not everyone. My uncle Isidor from the Bronx didn't know anything about it till he came to visit us for a few days. But he sure found out the hard way. Where are you going, Uncle Lizor? I'm going to take a bath. Good for the spirit, you know. I don't think Wednesday night is a good time to take a bath, Uncle Isidor. Nonsense, my boy. It's always a good time for a bath. Wednesday night, Thursday, Tuesday, anytime you feel like it. Ah, I can hear the water running in the tub. Your mother must have gotten it ready for me. I really don't think Wednesday night is a good night for a bath. Uncle Lizor [Music] ridiculous. Help! Help! Help! A monster! A monster! Help! Is it? What happened? What happened in the bathtub? Zelda, it's a monster. A monster. Keep it off my foot. Keep it off my leg. Lock the door. Don't let him out. It's a monster. I tell you monster. Is the door? Is it? Your leg is fine. Better go in the kitchen. Take a hot tea with milk. I'll put the sea serpent back in the pale so you can take a bath. You'll find the bottle of milk in the ice box and water boiling in the old chinic stove. Why didn't your mama keep the milk in the fridge instead of in a box of ice, Zadeie? Oh, there were no refrigerators around yet, and we couldn't afford one even if there was. We kept our food cold in the old ice box. The iceman brought a fresh piece each day on his horsedrawn wagon. He would yell and scream, "Ice for sale, ice for sale." I could hear him down the street. Lady, do you mean that every day a man came around to sell ice and a horse and wagon? Of course, lots of things were sold by peddlers on wagons. Sometimes they were dragged by a horse and sometimes the peddler himself was the horse. Yes, I remember it like yesterday. Every Thursday on the corner of Orchard Street and Broom, it was wallto-wall pushcards. Over here, misses. Over here, watermelon. Pantulo. Absolutely. Look, lady. Absolutely no pits. No pits whatsoever. I show you. Can you watermelon? No pitch whatsoever. That's a guarantee. And probably no insides either. Potatoes. Sweet potatoes. Onions. Here you go. Onions. Onions. Onions. Onions. Here you go. Onions. Onions. 2 cents a pound. Come on. while it's fresh. Come on, get your onion. Sweet potatoes, onions over here, lady. Come on, get your celery. Celery. Hey, hey, hey. Celery here. Celery. Come on. Get your celery here. I'll take two pounds of carrots and 10 tomatoes, please. Right here, lady. I've got apples, lady. Apples, red, juicy ones. Big chubby ones, lady. A penny a piece. You can't go wrong. Look. Look. A penny. Here, I'll show you. I'll eat one by one [Music] myself. A penny a piece. True. Yeah. A penny a piece. And since when did apples become a food for millionaires? Okay, lady. Okay. Three for two cents. Make it four for two cents. Oh, lady. Lady, you're choking me, lady. You're choking me. What else did you get for Shabas? 80. Oh, we got lots of seltzer. Lots of seltzer. Yeah, we certainly did. We would spritz ourselves a big glass full of selzer and we were like mama would say in seventh heaven. You spritzed seltzer. Naturally, it came in big glass bottles with a spritzer on top. It was the original water gun. Unfortunately, my brother Manny didn't always look where he was aiming it. He once hit one of our shabas guests right in the face. That was so in my life. I know. I I right in the face. He got me. I've never been so mad. I never humiliated in my library. I said I was I'm sorry. I could see it now. The old Selza truck would come Friday at noon time. Their painted letters on the side read Sydney supernatural sparkling salsa water. Mrs. Hammerstein. Mr. Hammerstein, are you home? It's me, Sydney, the sparkling salsa man. And where would I be on a Friday afternoon? On a trip to Alapco. Of course, I'm home. You can bring up a new case of filt bottles. Okay, Mr. Hamilton, but please get the case of empty bottles ready for me to take down. But Zadeie, didn't your mama ever buy some Pepsi or Seven Up for Chabis? No. No. We drank only Selza. And it's a good thing we did. Why, Zie? Because believe it or not, Selza helped our whole family keep Shabas. Keep Shabas? How? How's that possible? Well, it's a long story. One evening, we kids came home from school and found mama and papa sitting around the table looking very unhappy. Iman, what will we do? This is the third job you lost this month. I know, Zelda, but I'm sure something else will turn up soon with a jalam's help. Mama. Papa, what's wrong? Papa just got fired from his job at the hat factory because he won't work on Shabas. I don't know what we'll do for money to pay our bills. Tell her please. There's no need to tell the children. Papa, why did you tell your boss that you don't work on chapters? Why didn't you say that your tie got caught in the door of the trolley and you had to run alongside it for 2 days till it opened up? Well, I don't really think I want to say so. Yeah, could have told him that your suspender snapped in half on the way to work and he had to run back home for a new pair. And by that time, the day was over. Papa, why you don't take? You have a a tummy ache. No, no, children. I never like to tell a lie, even when it's the truth. I don't care what Michael says to me. I'm not working on chies. I don't care whatever's going to be. I'm not working that day. Even if the ones will fire me, I'm not working on shies. I don't care if they don't hire me. I'm just staying away. You can call me a fool, but I'm going to show them. I'm not working on sh. Oh, you won't catch me if I can on that day. I don't care if they say they'll cut my pay. I'm not working on sh even if I'm broke. To me, it's a joke to think I'm working at day. I'm not working on that. Even if the horse will threaten me, I'm not working on let him try to come and get me. I'm not working that day. Even if the boss becomes annoyed, I'm not working on shab. If he says to me, "You're unemployed. I'm not working that day. It's a day to spend with my family and friends. So I'm not working on shabas. No, you won't catch me in a grocery on that holiest day. I'm not taking the train, just rest in my brain. And I'm not working on shabas. I'm not drinking an egg. Just going to relax on that holiest day. Children, I'm afraid that until papa gets another job, we'll have to stop buying certain things that we can no longer afford. Like what, mama? Like the fish on chabas and the chicken. We'll just have to do without it for now. And the chollet will be cooked with only potatoes and beans and maybe a bone for flavor. But no more meat. It's just too expensive. Zelda, are you sure it's right? After all, we're supposed to honor Chavez with our very best. Oh, Hyman, it will be our very best. But we have to be practical. As soon as you have a job, we'll celebrate Chabas royally. And there's one more thing, Hyman. Yes, Zelda. When you go to Schula for my roof, please leave this note on the door of Sydney's Selza Place on Division Street. What kind of note, Zelda? What kind of note? A note to cancel this week's Selza order. Of course. Cancel the order. You mean no seltzer? Oh, mama, please. No. We can't have Shabas without Selzer. That's like Hanukkah without LKAS. It's like Pesak without her roas. Like like Pim without sneakers. Prim sneakers. Oh, Fagela. You mean I'm kipper? Wait, without your kipper. Mama, please. We can live without the fish or chicken. But how can we live without selzer? You can live perfectly well drinking water from the tap. Gaza hates. But Zelda, maybe just a bottle or two. No, Hyman. As soon as they see one bottle, they'll want more and more. And I'll never hear the end of it. But mama, not another word. Finished. Yes, mama. Hyman here. Please take the note when you go for my riv and stick it on Sydney's door with this thumbtack. All right, Zelda. Whatever you say, I'll do it. Oh, Zadeie, I'll bet everyone's spirits were down there, Araf of Shabas. Well, we tried not to show it, but deep down we all felt pretty unhappy. All except mama. She kept us hustling and bustling as usual while Papa was out looking for work. Come, come. No time for moping. We've got to be coping. Let's go, Hesshy. Sweep the hall. Manny, pull the laundry and off the wine. Simma, put out the candlestick. Sender, you go to the store. Mr. Hammerstein. Mr. Hammerstein, are you home? I got your case of fresh sel for you. I don't believe what I'm hearing. What's Sydney doing here now? We cancelled the Selza order last night. Sydney, what are you doing here? Didn't you get the note from my husband that the Selza order was cancelled? Note? What are you talking about a note? I never got no note. I had a slept this deluppy truck all the way from Division Street loaded down with 40 cases of Selza. And now you're canceling the order on me. That takes a lot of hootsp. What's the problem, Sydney? Mr. Hamilton, what's this all about? A note to cancel the shelter order after I had to practically drag this heap of a truck here by hand. Hi, Papa. Were you able to find a job? I'm sorry, Kinder. I'm afraid not. Hey, now what do I do with this order of soldier? You expect me to slip it back to Division Street all by myself? Help! Help! Fire! Fire! Help! Help! Fire! Fire! What's happening? Where's the fire? What's burning? That's the Maru's capeless defensive factory. It's full of drying strips of wood and pales of yellow paint. Stuff that burns very easily. Quickly, call the fire department. But papa, didn't you get fired from that place last year for not working on chopping? That's not important right now. Hi. We've got to get some water and contact the fire department by phone immediately. All the phones of the neighborhood are out of sliver for repair. A squed up the main wall yesterday. What are we going to do? Fire. Fire, fire, fire. Quickly, someone pull the handle on the red fire alarm box in the corner of the street. They'll hear that in the fire station. I already pulled it. So, what happened? Yeah. Here's the handle. It's broken. Help. Help. Fire. Help. [Music] Help. Help. Fire. Fire. Fire. Z. What did your father do? What could anyone do? Well, there really wasn't much anyone could do. But you know that Hashem helps in very unexpected ways. I suddenly turned to Manny. Manny? Manny, quick, get me a bottle of Selza from the truck. Hashi, are you nishan? Now you want a drink of selzer? I'll take it myself. Papa. Papa, here. Take a bottle of salsa. Angie, please stay out of my way. I don't need a drink of Selza right now. Who said a drink? Papa, with the fire going on, everyone should grab a bottle of salt. What does a bottle of Selza have to do with a fire? That Wait, wait a minute. Wait a simple. Everyone, friends, neighbors, anybody, quickly grab a bottle of Selzer of Sydney's truck and over to the pencil factory. There's no time to lose. I can already see the flames coming out of the door. Hey, wait a minute. Where do you think you're going with my bottles of supernatural sparkling Selza? Py, we'll pay you for each bottle of Selsa. Would we folks? Of course. Yes, of course. All right. All right. As long as I get paid, they're all yours. It was sight to see over a hund people, men, women, and even children spritzing salts into the doors and windows of the Mars cables. The pencil factory from on top of cars, hanging from fire escaped from the rooftops, even from the manholes. They spritzed one bottle after another. Everyone on the ground got soaked while big black clouds of smoke came billowing out into the street. Papa. Papa, it's out. It's finally out. Look, it's Marish Ka, the millionaire owner of the pencil factory. What happened to my pencil factory? My beautiful pencil factory. No, no, it burned to the ground. Mr. Bliss, your factory didn't burn down. Only a few boxes of pencils got burned. We put the fire out with these Selza bottles. Tons of Selza. How? What? What are you talking about? If it hadn't been for Mr. Himlstein, your place really would have bo down to the ground. I'll tell you how Himlstein No, I'll tell you how Hamilton stretched your pencil factory with Selzer like a clown. Everybody took a squirt. I socked up my undershirt. Himstein gave Sela out to everyone in town. People spritzing everywhere. I got seltzer in my ear. That's the way he saved the pencil face from burning down. Hamilton is the greatest. Hamilton, you saved my factory, my fortune, my pencils, my erasers. You're the Sela hero of the east side. It's all right. It's all right. I really didn't do more than anyone else here did. Nonsense. Nonsense. Is there anything I can do to repay you? He doesn't have a job, Mr. Blister. Ky, please. A job? Well, he's got one now. I want you to be the foreman of my soontobe renovated Morris Kister pencil factory. You'll run my entire operations. Thank you very much, Mr. Bister. I really appreciate it greatly. But you see, I'm a religious person. I don't work Friday night and Saturday. It's how is Chavez. I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn down your kind offer. Impossible. No one turns down an offer by Maris Kistister. I'm a man of means, you know. That means when I say something, I mean to do it. I want you, Himlski, to be my foreman. And you can come in any day of the week you want. I don't care when. And take a vacation any day you like. Sunday, Monday, Friday, or shabubas. I'll start you off at $35 a week plus a bonus at the end of the year. $35 a week. I must be dreaming. Is it true that you got a job? Manny just ran to tell me. Yes. Bashem and all because of Heshi and a bottle of Selzer and Mr. Blistister over here. Oh, Sydney, I'm really very sorry about you having to shle down here and then losing all your senses to the fire. Are you kidding, Mr. Hamilton? This was the best day in 18 years in a shelter line. I made $150 in about a half an hour. Now I can buy myself a new truck where the engine's not falling out and the cabaret is not collapsing. Here. Here. There's still one case of shelter left. You can have it. Pay me next week when you start your new job. I got to run now. Have I get the shabas? I'll see you next week. This has turned out to be the most wonderful air of shabas we've had in a very long time. We'll even have our beloved Seltza. By the way, Hyman, whatever did happen to the note I gave you to check on Sydney's door. H. Oh, yes. The note, Zelda. The note. The notes. Well, uh, I did I Oh, by the way, Zelda, that reminds me. Did anyone empty the tray under the ice box today? The tray? Oh, no. Quick, up the stairs. There must be a flood. Hurry, let's go get them up. Get the move. Oh, it's hurry. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, Zadei, those stories are so unbelievable. I had no idea that things were so different when you were young. It must have been really fantastic growing up in those days. As you can see, Ellie, there were some pretty rough parts, too. But we had good times as well. And we always believed that the Rebainous Shaum would pull us through. And he always did. Z, could you tell me more things that happened when you were growing up? Right now, I'm just about all talked out. I could use a glass of nice hot tea and milk with a sugar cube, just like Papa used to drink. I'll go boil some water in the kitchen and I'll get my Baby, be careful. I think the tray under the ice box overflowed just before. Oh no, I must have forgotten to empty it out. Quickly, get the schmatas before mama finds out and spread them out on the floor and I'll get the mop and you'll get the Hey, one second. Ice box tray hot. Are you trying to fool your hole? Say the Ellie. You really got me going that time. But I guess you can see that growing up when I was young wasn't all that easy as you