When Religious People Are Agitated, Angry & Judgmental

Today's class, this week's classes in fact, including today's class is dedicated by our dear friends Liz and Dr. Michael Michelle from the pillars of our community here in Muny. In memory of Liz's father, Raiska Khvi Ben Harav Binyamin, who passed away 22 years ago on the 11th day of Tavis. Rabbi Irving Levy Zakra was a respected Talmud, a legendary Balasset and one of the earliest founders of the Muny community, one of the great pillars of this beautiful community and somebody who became an ear and a voice for countless people who needed help, guidance, mentorship both materially, emotionally, spiritually for individuals and families. May his memory serve as an everlasting source of light, blessing, and inspiration to you, to the entire family, to all of us, to all of Rockland County, to the entire Rockland County community, and to all of the Jewish people, to thank you very, very much for your friendship and for your contribution and for your dedication and for your love. Happy birthday also to Kana Gwartz on the 13th of Tavis, dedicated by Elliot Kaplan. Thank you so so much and a year of tremendous blessing and success to you and to all of your loved ones among all of uh the good people in the world. Today we're going to learn by hashem a piece from the m ofash one of the earlyic masters in the third generation of uh second or third generation of uh of uhis was one of the great sages and rabbis was known as the mo of shemish I'm soon going to give you a very brief biography I like always to give a little historical context. This is going to be a piece we're going to learn. I took out a segment of his and afterwards a piece from the Balsham articulated by his grandson the deaf. Let's begin with the first piece. If you open your source sheets, you right away see the first source is a quote from Peric meme. That's Genesis chapter 49 verse 5. Let's remember the context. Yakov Au, our patriarch Yakov is about to say goodbye to this world and he gathers all of his children around his bed and he speaks to each one of the children. He speaks about their future. He blesses them. He discusses some of their challenges. Uve is the first one. He speaks to him about the fact that he was his oldest. In in many ways, he had more power and more strength than the other brothers. He says, "You were the beginning of my strength, the genesis of my strength." But then he chastises Ru for an event that happened in his life many many years ago when he interfered into the private life of Yakov which we learned back in Parish story with Bilah after after Raul's passing and uh that's his message to Ruven. Then comes the next two brothers Shiman and Ley. Let's see what does he tell them. His message to them consists of three verses 49 verse 5 6 and 7. Let's read together. Shim listen carefully. Shim Shim and Ley are brothers. Their weapons are weapons of robbery or as Rashi puts it their weapons are stolen instruments. They're stolen. Next, let my soul not enter their council, their secrets. Let not my honor join their assembly, their why? Because in their wrath they killed a man and with their will they hamstrung a bull. Next verse. Cursed be their anger for it so fierce and their wrath which is so relentless. I will divide them throughout Yakov, throughout Jacob, throughout the nation. And I will scatter them throughout Israel, throughout Israel. That's the message of Yakov. Then afterwards, he goes to Yehuda. We now come to the Marsh. You see, who is the M of? One of the great early kasidic masters was a man named Rabbi Cloyamus Kalman Epstein Epstein. He was born in Poland in 1751 tok alf. That's 9 years before the bash passed away. He passed away in Krakow on the first day of tamos tok giml 1823. So he's born in 1751. He passes away in 1823. He's known in theidic world as the which is a term from Tahillim because that's the name of hisidic work. He was born in Poland. As a child they moved to Krakow and he was known as a as a child prodigy. As a teenager, a young man, he became cognizant of one of the greatest masters of the day. The Reb Ali Melik of Ljensk known as the Noal Melik was a student of the Mag of Misri who was of course the successor of the Balsh. I think Melik visited Krakow and that's where Kman met him. He became one of the greatest students of the Naimal Melik of Relik of Ljensk. And after some years around TK Me, which would mean 1785, he he moved to Lejensk to be by his Reb, he moved back to Krakow and he began teaching there and began spreading the teachings of there was strong and fierce opposition in Krakow because of the local spiritual leadership. There was Rabitzka Khi Lando and his Bezdon. They banned him from allowing to teach and spread his Tyra. But over the years things became calmer and as the kidic teachings began to spread in western Galitia the opposition calmed down and the name of Riplo is Kalman became known as one of the great holy men and the great mystics of his time. He also was a student of the the mag of zlvik of zlv who was a student of the balv after the passing of rebelik of ljansk in 1787. He also became a student of the lublin the s of lublin harowits as well as mendel mirinovend and of kajnit known as the knit. These are the great luminaries of the kasidic movement in Poland. Marshesh is the name of his work. Mo means the luminary and the sonsh. It's from it was published the first time a few years few decades two decades after around two decades after he passed away and it became quite well known and is still very well known in the world ofidism. He's buried as I said he passed away in Tamos 1823 and is buried in the cemetery in Kraka. There's a lot of fascinating teachings in Marvsh and the one we're learning today is certainly extremely extremely fascinating especially considering the time it was written in. Let's get right to it. Clear everybody any questions? Okay. This is the whole piece word for word. Apparently this is misunderstood. This is not not to understand that Yakov our father should not bless these two holy tribes these two holy brothers Shim and Ley the only one not a single positive word no word of encouragement no blessing it's true they received a blessing as part of the collective of the Jew Jewish family as the Tyra says later that blessed all of them and Rashi says that he gave every he conferred all of the blessings on all of them but that's collectively but specifically in terms of the unique message that he gave them there is not a positive word of blessing only chastisement only negativity this needs explanation this needs insight even He also chastises for interfering in the private life of Yak. But at least he begins, you're my you're my eldest. You're the beginning of the family. You represented my foremost primal strength. He he he also encourages him and builds them up. But Shim and Ley, it's all negative. He right away starts, "Your brothers, your stolen instruments, your weapons, your your your your war weapons are stolen instruments. I don't want to have to do with you. I don't want my soul to be part of your secret. I don't want my honor to be part of your assembly because of what you have done. Your wrath is relentless and fierce and I'm just going to scatter you among the Jewish people. You shouldn't be together." And that's why the descendants of Shiman and Ley did not live in one territory. As Rashi explains, the descendants of Shiman were teachers and scribes and they traveled the country and Ley they lived in different cities, many different cities and they also had to go around in order to get the tithing of the Jewish people which were given to the Levites. So these words of Yakov indeed materialized in Jewish history. But the Mashh is asking how do we understand that on his deathbed these two brothers the only thing he says to them is something negative. Wow, what a question, huh? Veneer. So he's going to give a what you would call uh a spiritual homalytical answer and explanation to Yakov's words on a deeper level. Vin this is what it seems to me. He's now going to describe a certain character and later later in the piece he's going to give the German Yiddish name for this person. I put it in the title already. So that's a sneak preview. The path of a Jewish man, a Jewish person who merits to have real awe of God and serves Hashem with complete truth. He becomes his greatest critic. He's always finding flaws in himself and he's very humble. He always finds things that he has done wrong, sins, transgressions, errors, mistakes. Even though objectively they may be pretty thin as a hair strand, but in his eyes it's like a thick beam. It's not a hair strand. It's like a thick kra, like a thick rafter. And he's he gets upset at himself. He criticizes himself. He's perturbed with himself. People come to talk to him. It seems like he's angry. He's upset. But the truth is he's not angry at them as much as he's angry at at himself because he feels that his service of Hashem has taken His service of Hashem is in very incomplete. In other words, the Marash is describing the Jew who's always challenging himself because he's always trying to refine himself and work on himself and grow and he really has real. He really has awe of heaven and he's trying to serve Hashem with absolute dedication and authenticity and integrity. He's not busy uh covering up for himself. He's not busy, you know, patting himself on the back and giving himself compliments. He's not busy filling out his checklist. I did this. I did this. I did this. And now I could plop down on the couch and say ceu may I cisu, you know, bang my stomach, you know, as the as the gorillas do and say, "Hey, I'm the greatest guy." He's not that person. And there's a humility in him because he always knows that the human mind is so biased and so subjective and human temptation comes so easy and therefore he always he always sees what's missing and there's this humility and he always finds you know this was wrong and this was wrong. He's very hard on himself. Now when you want to communicate with this person you get this sense there's a certain heaviness there's a certain intensity let me call it a certain intros there's a certain intensity that comes from profound introspection so he says when you meet him he's upset who is he upset at he's upset at himself ruptur This is in sync with what I heard from the great pious Jews means the holy bin is like a pillar of light. The holy pillar of lightnal the great rabbi of ruptitz. He's known as naftali ruptitzer. He was a contemporary ofamus halevi. In fact ruptitz's name was Harowitz harowitz. He was born on the day the balv passed away. He was born which means nine years after. He was born in 1760 on and he passed away a few years before Alf Zion which is 1827. He was one of the great kasidic masters in Poland in Galitzia and he lived in a city called Rupshitz and that's why he's known as Rabb Nafali of Ruptitz. In fact, he too as a young person became close to theidic movement and he was a student of Rebel Malik of the Malik just like the he was also a student by Mikl of the student of the BMP. was also a student later of the kajnet of the of just like also of and uh he became the rabbi in the city of of ruptitz and became known as one of the greatest mastersic masters in his day. He passed away in Lansut as I said 1827 Ydalafir that's where he is he is buried the is quoting here what he heard from of it seems like he heard it directly from him he explained this is what the garra says I added here in parentheses where This garra is especially some of you just finished learning mass's tightness and I want to wish you a big maz. So I hope you still remember this gum for me's tiness. Do you ever learn's tightness? The Gammor says as follows said when you see when you see a scholar means he's very angry he's agitated agitated heated upset you should know forgive him says give him the benefit of it's the that's that's causing this agitation causing this upsetness. Rashi says something very interesting there. Rashi says that the learning of makes a person more sensitive and he takes things to heart much more. So Rashi says over there interesting it's the that's making him making him upset. It's a that's making him agitated. And what does this mean? What does this mean? Later the Gammorrah says as we're soon going to see that despite this right despite this he's going to quote soon the end of the Gmorrah despite this a person you know the person has to learn to be calm and and collective and and kind but ra says when you see when you see him agitated and upset it's because of the now what does this mean so the says this is what I heard er of reruptions canal. It means what we were talking about. You know who he's upset at? He's upset at himself because when he's full of Tyra, he feels that he did not immerse himself and learn Tyra in the most appropriate way with the proper awe and the proper love or he didn't fulfill the mitzvah of Tyra in a way that is appropriate and suitable for him even if for another person it's perfect but for him not based on his standards. So therefore he's agitated with himself. He's angry at himself. He's upset at himself. When you see him upset, he's not upset at you. He's upset at himself. He lives with an inner tention, with an inner lack of satisfaction and upsetness. Says, "Such a sadic, such a righteous person. He's righteous. He's a good man. He's a moral rather very morally sensitive person. But he cannot be integrated with the masses, with the people. He serves Hashem in a segregated isolated way on his own. Why? Because he's in the state of upsetness. He's upset at himself because of something that occurred that he feels was inappropriate and he could have done better. something that he nullified he did not manage to do or do at least perfectly and it happened to him and therefore he has this as I said very intense introspection so it's very hard for him to be integrated with the masses because he's living in a in a in a very introspective way there's a certain let's not call it bitterness but there's a certain frustration or there's a certain intensity what is more he explains even more it's also very difficult for him to speak to people about things of the world about what's going on in their life which they may want to talk about and they may need to have a listening ear for because in his mind he is going away from serving God. So it's difficult for him to integrate to mix with people. So therefore he feels the need to be isolated. He serves Hashem on his own. His relationships with people are very compromised. Says of this path, even though it's a great level, you're talking about a lofty person. Somebody is trying to work on himself and do the right thing and go and grow in his or her emotional, spiritual, psychological service of Hashem. And they're always challenging themselves. It's a great lofty level. It's not the ultimate truth. This person is still living in the world of depression, in the world of melancholy. I'm not laughing at what he's saying. I'm laughing at the intensity of what he's saying. Like he's a great person and he commends him. He says it's a great level because this person is really trying to work on himself. But he says there's something missing in the truth here. He's a person of integrity. He's not a person who's doing this for other people. No, he's a person of integrity. But he says he lives by sitra. Citra means the side. Citra is decide like sitra is the side in the realm in the world of of of melancholy of dejection of of dispondency. In other words, this is a lifestyle of one of I'm never good enough. There's always that internal critic. Now, it's not an internal critic that just trying to knock me down that's trying to knock me down because uh because I'm insecure. That's not what he's talking about. Obviously, that also may be happen. You know, sometimes we have the internal critic because this part of me that always feels I'm not good enough and I'm bad and and I'm negative. But even talking about a person that what he's he's using it to serve God, right? Nonetheless, he says it puts you in a it puts you you're living in a place of of negativity of dispondency. And indeed it may be caused. I'm saying this it may be caused because we have those parts in us that become internal critics. Maybe I I somehow I feel if I'm not always criticizing myself, I'm not good enough. Whatever it may be, whatever the cause may be, the bottom line is even this person who's harnessing it in a in a productive way, in a meaningful way, in a spiritual way, he says, but the person is living in a space of depression, of melancholy. You ought to know when you have an opportunity, something happens that's going to take you away from your regular service of Hashem. For example, smoozing with people about things of the world. You're not talking to them in learning. There's talking. You're going to talk to them about their needs, their concerns, their issues, your issues. You're going to talk to people. going to connect the people on their terms where they are. He has to know. This is also serving Hashem. Hashem doesn't look one way. It doesn't have one color. We serve Hashem through every different type of method and every different venue in the world. We don't always consistently use one method to serve Hashem. says in proverbs King Solomon says in all of your ways you should know him in all of your ways there's no one path in which you serve Hashem this person that we were describing feels that only when he is isolated or segregated insulated completely detached from people aloof and sublime challenging himself more and more that's why he's connecting to Hashem and that's why it's so hard for him to connect to the masses to integrate with people as We say he feels like it's a waste of time and he's going away from aid hashem and the internal critic doesn't let him do that. He's also generally in an intense mode. He can't really connect to people because they feel he's angry even though he's angry at himself. Says the bute in most genuine way doesn't look one way. Obviously there are times of Hashem that are very insulated when you spend time with yourself and with your God in prayer and meditation and study certain mitzvah you do. He says, "But we serve Hashem through endless methods, through everything in life. In all of your ways, you should know him." When I'm talking to somebody, when I'ming with somebody that's also avoid Hashem, that's also in Hashem. We once learned a v from the I once shared with you a beautiful v from the was the women's class of parishes was written by of Chernobyl who was a student of the bal and the magat. He passed away 1798 1797 that the father of the Chernobyl. So in a par he says something beautiful turns to Hashem. Hashem appears to Arainu and and then Arainu sees the three guests the three bedin Arabs that are approaching and walking by his tent and he runs out and he invites them to the home and he turns to Hashem at least one of interpretations he turns to Hashem and he says please don't leave from your servant he ap you know he excuses himself and he says you know I have to take care of all of these guests please don't leave so he asks Hashem to stay there to stay put until finishes tending to his guests which may have taken a few hours and this is from where our sages learned that that welcoming guests is greater inviting guests to the house is greater than welcoming the divine presence ask I don't understand I thought Hashem is everywhere as uncle sings with us Hashem is here hashem is there hashem is truly everywhere up down right left and all around. So what do you mean? So what does it mean that Abraham says to Hashem, "Please don't leave my house. Where is God going to go? He's going to go to he's going to go to the Bish. He's going to go to the grocery store." If Hashem is is everywhere, everything. So he's here anyway. Ahab says what was asking Hashem is don't leave from me. Don't go away from me when I'm being involved and immersed in tending to my guests. He's going to be serving them three tongues with mustard. He's going to be serving them yogurt and cream cheese and milk. He's going to be giving them a lavish meal and tending to their needs and smoozing with them and asking them what they need and having a great conversation with them. We have a great time together. And it's very easy for a person to feel that that's the moment when I'm being det when I'm becoming detached so to speak from Hashem from the allow me to experience my intimacy with you at these moments of being there with my guest just like in the moments when it's just you and I in an absolute transcendent moment of intimacy. That's what the saying in all of your ways you know him. And in this true path of a person ought to be not tense. A person ought to be always joyous. I are you challenging yourself and according to your perception there are things in the service of Hashem that you're taking the short path and therefore you're upset. Even if there are times of introspection and we're not nullifying introspection, but right after that it has to bring you to joy. This is a theme that's discussed at length also in Tanya in chapter 26 and 27 and 28 and 29 30 all the way through chapter 34 26-34 in Tanya. The main point he's saying is the mode of a Jew needs to be not thinking how I'm not good, I'm negative. First thing he says is you're serving Hashem through many different methods and you don't have to go into isolation and you don't have to be in a place of endless introspection with an internal critic that tells you how bad you are. The state of the Jew is in fact the end of speaks about the celebrations of the first when there's a leap year like this year, right? Should we make a celebration on Purim? And the Rama finishes off the whole the last words of the Rama quoting again quoting the a good heart is always in a state of feasting. Of course according to and every day has its unique its unique gifts, its unique avoid its unique opportunities. But the motive of a Jew he says is not in a depression always happy always joyous always know that right now and have an opportunity to connect to truth to be part of truth to serve Hashem to be one with Hashem I could find this flu and this flu and that flu and that flow he says okay if you have to correct something you'll correct it but right away go into a state of joy this internal critic that shles you down and always tells you how guilty you are and that it's a mitzvah to be anxious he says not not to way of a Jew and then your mind becomes integrated with people. You connect with people. You could become close to people. That's what the finish says over there. Despite the fact that justified and said, you're getting upset because of your you feel that your is incomplete and therefore you're upset. He says, nonetheless, a person has to learn has to learn. He has to teach himself to be happy, to be content, to be satisfied. Now, we're going to come back to understand the saga of Shim and Ley. Wow. We're going to go to Shim and Ley now. But I like to take some comments here, questions. So, let's go. Okay. Mendle says this is galdic. Some people revel. They revel and marvel in fakvetkite in being what's the word? recoiled. They revel in their misery. They don't know how to relax and enjoy life. Some go so far as to connect as to connect their misery with their yiddishkite. They call it frunkite. And they feel the more from the more miserable. And the more miserable they become more from Mendel. You stole the word that he's going to use here soon. You stole the word he's going to use here soon. Let's see question. But we all learn to criticize ourselves because it hurts less to criticize oursel than to be criticized by others. Oo very deep. Very deep. Yes. So let me tell you something. We have an internal critic and some of us Jews have it a little more than other people maybe. I don't know. What do they say? A Jew feels guilty. And if he doesn't feel guilty, he blames himself. But that internal critic is a voice that doesn't stop sometimes and it's always questioning and always delegitimizing. You make a beautiful event, right? Some of you are out there leading communities. You make a beautiful event. You come home and you have something negative to say to yourself. You come home from a beautiful sim and you have something negative to say to yourself inside. Whatever you do, you can't win. If you win, we'll find the flaw. And if you lost, ah, we always knew you're a loser. But that internal critic, the Rashmish is saying sometimes it could be harnessed in a positive way and sometimes it brings people to do good things. And maybe some people's souls are just designed that way and sometimes when they learn seriously and they're they really take it seriously and they develop it. they develop it but common says it's not msl this is not the real ultimate authentic way he said I could respect it have compassion for it you know we don't have to delegitimize everything understand it understand where it's coming from but then realize there's something much deeper there's something more true because yes we have this sometimes for many of us this is true this internal critic in us has become who it has become because it's trying to protect us it's very often a survival mechanism. You know, let me give you an example. And if this resonates with you, please share this with me cuz I would really be interested in knowing this. Sometimes you may feel deep, deep down, listen to me, that you're not deserving of love. Sometimes you really, really feel that deep down if somebody would know who you are, if all the garments were removed, if the truth came out, nobody would love you. Sometimes deep deep down we suffer from this tremendous tremendous lack of inner confidence. And therefore I have to become my most internal critic to make sure that my true colors don't show that I'm always going to be better. I have to I have to I always have to criticize myself because if I let down my guard if I just relax what's going to happen? Somebody may see who I am. I'm always on at on the edge. I'm always at edge. I'm always on alert. It's always a crisis. That's what one level. Maybe if I was criticized in a very deep way as a child and I just don't feel worthy as who I am. I need to be my greatest internal critic. Now, that is so sad because that's the place where I live in. And I have to be able to tell my internal critic, you know, you're doing a good job. You did a wonderful job protecting me. But could you ensure and give confidence to your inner child and say you're good and we don't need the internal critic to always protect us. This is just one manifestation of it. Question is the problem. the introspection or the resulting negative feeling. What if introspection leads to motivation, positive resolve that doesn't come from a negative place? That's wonderful. That's what he says. Even if I made mistakes, we all make mistakes and I should learn from my mistakes. I botched up tomorrow. I got to do better. But what does he But why is that leading you into upsetness and agitation and melancholy? That's already coming from a different place. That's already telling me that there's something essential that's just bad. Let me learn from it and move on. The fact is that we often become internal critics simply to keep our supposed flaws covered. I'm going to be my greatest critic. You know why? Cuz if not, you're going to be my greatest critic. And I'm frightened. It's a very very this is a serious thing by the way. This is a very serious issue for those of you who deal with it. You know how you it's not easy. It's not a simple thing. Comes and said among the children of Yakov there were two of them who dealt with this. This was their struggle. Let's go back to our discussion. Shim and Ley were in a very lofty spiritual level and they served Hashem with true awe, with true fear and therefore they were upset. They were agitated with sin with transgression. This is what happened by the says in Shim and Ley, the two brothers of Dina, each of them took a sword and they killed out the entire city of Shem. Why them? Yakov was upset at them. Yakov says, "You made us look so bad. They're all come they'll all come and gang up on us and and and slay us all." And what was their answer? Will we allow our sister to be violated and abused and abducted in such a way? Why Shim and Ley says the marshes? Because Shim and Ley could not tolerate any form of of sin of corruption of negativity. They were the great zealots who stood up to it. Says they couldn't integrate with people well. It always appeared that they were upset at people. The truth is the truth is they were upset at themselves. It was the that was making them upset. It was their feeling of inadequacy of their flaws in their learning and their mitzvah. That's what made them agitated and made them upset. They were very allergic to any flaw in themselves to anything challenging in themselves. They couldn't accept themselves. They were always challenging themselves, stimulating themselves. But it also results in the fact that I'm in a I'm in a difficult state. I'm in a very intense intense space of introspection and demanding for myself more and more and deeper. There was very deep criticism in them. And in fact, it's what happens with Ysef. As we learn later in Vay, one man tells his brother, "Let's kill Ysef. Who was it?" doesn't say clearly in but as Rashi says it was shibb and ley just as they stood up to because they felt that they could not tolerate sin as he says they had this tremendous agitation with when they saw evil when they saw corruption but this didn't come because they were evil people because they love to fight because they wanted to kill he says no it was their relationship with Hashem that was one of very very harsh intensity and therefore they couldn't integrate with people as he says such a person it's very hard for me because I feel like I'm wasting time and I should be doing other things and it's also hard to connect to people because they feel that I'm angry and I'm upset I'm upset at myself yeah I'm upset myself it's just a certain mode of life those of you who know such people you know what you know what he's talking about and I guess the Marsh had firsthand experience of a lot of such people if you wish. Suzanne says, "Is it possible that they were trying to live up to Yakov's expectations of them and their comparison to Ysef who had Yakov's love and therefore they felt so upset and inadequate because they felt that Yakov's expectations and Yitzk's expectations expectations were so deep?" That's part of it. Perhaps when they looked at who their father is and who their grandfather is and who their great-grandfather was, the expectations were so profound. than maybe Ysef who really got the approval of his father. You're saying it made him just feel so much less adequate and therefore they they despised Ysef. Listen, we can analyze it on different levels. You're talking about great people here, but there's different levels of analyzing it. And certainly the way we apply it to our lives. All of these things are very big factors that sometimes my brother or my sister or my friend or somebody else is triggering me in such a deep way because they're making me cognizant and aware of certain things I'm lacking and therefore I become agitated with them. That is a very very real and genuine experience that we have. So they have this deep deep spiritual zealousness towards themselves and it comes out with they just can't tolerate it. They cannot tolerate it. They cannot relax and look at it from different perspectives and say maybe there's a different approach to deal with this. What do they do? They go and they kill out. This is reflective of the world they live in. Is it possible that what he's saying is that the more somebody is lofty or pious, the harsher he or she is in judgment of themselves and of human behavior in generally. and they expect a somewhat perfect pious attitude within themselves and others. Yes, that's exactly his point. If they weren't lofty, they wouldn't have this challenge because they were sublime and they were really pious. They were trying to do the right thing. It expressed itself in a lack of tolerance from themselves and therefore from others as well. Yakov is now on his deathbed. Listen to this. He wants to speak to his children. And each child, he tunes into their nishama, to their soul. And the Marshmesh very movingly says that Yakov is going to teach these two brothers of a different approach to Yiddishkite of a different approach to serving God. And even though at the surface Yakov's words seem so harsh, he says when you understand what he's saying, they're actually very loving and very moving and even forgiving. You have to listen to the words. Or to put it differently, because Shim and Ley were so tough on themselves, Yakov couldn't just communicate to them with lovey, dovy, affectionate words that wouldn't hit the spot because they would feel Yakov is just patronizing them and really coming down, descending from his own spiritual space just to just to plate them. They didn't want they didn't want to be placated that way. Yakov spoke to them very harshly apparently but in those words in those intense words was deep understanding. Let's see Yakov's message. This is what Yakov says to them. Shim Shim and Ley your brothers. Now what's that supposed to mean? Obviously they're brothers. All of them were brothers. We know that they're brothers. He means that they have this kinship. They have this common denominator. And what's the common denominator? Means weapons. And weapons. So literally we translated their weapons were stolen. He's translating it a little differently. Their weapons are full of full of the need. They're always robbing themselves. They're always challenging themselves. They're always taking away from themselves what is theirs. They're always delegitimizing themselves. They're always finding where they went wrong. They can't forgive themselves. They're always finding their flaws. They have this tremendous this tremendous awe and fear of so they're angry. They're angry at themselves. They're agitated with themselves. They have these weapons. They're very tough. They're very harsh. They're fighting with themselves. They're angry at themselves. And he calls them clay kamas. They're weapons of of of robbery. A robber comes and he takes away what is yours. He challenge always challenging it. It's an agitating experience. Here he's capturing it. In other words, we say a from means from religious but from he's describing a certain type of personality. Somebody that they're fromite is so intense people they cannot mingle with people. They can't be integrated with people. They don't understand people. They can't tolerate people. They don't relate to people again because they're upset at themselves. and I can't waste my time and you also can't connect because you're in you're there's a negativity there. They remain isolated. His means they're alone and they live in a secret place meaning they live in an insulated oasis in a bubble. They can't there's there's no smooth energy of of love of affection of integration. And I want to go off for a moment and use this word fum. What do he means? Some people really feel that way. As somebody mentioned before in the comments, this was Rebendel from Toronto says that sometimes you see that a person feels that to be real be really really from to have real shim. It means that a certain part of me is is depressed. A certain part of me is angry, is agitated, is miserable. How could it not be? Look at this crazy world and look at this crazy self. How can I not be agitated? How can I be forgiving? Look what did look what this one did. In fact, sometimes a person feels that this sign of real religiosity is somebody once told me that for him the sign of real religiosity is somebody who is depressed, who's fakfetched, who recoils, who retreats, who's in a very negative state. You can't smile too much. Why? Because if you smile too much, you may be lightheaded. You may be callous. You may be careless. You're apathetic. You're insensitive. You just want to chill. You don't take life seriously. If you take life seriously, you realize you're here to serve God. And there's Haba. The person is very, very intense. And sometimes people feel that that is the sign of a really religious person. There's a certain misery. There's a certain agony. There's a certain negativity. There's a certain judgmentalism that seeps it. Now at its core, the says Shim and Ley were very great people. At its core, it may actually come from a very deep and authentic spiritual place. It can often be manifested in destructive ways. It could often be manifested in in ways that hurt people and hurt yourself. But here he's talking about even in a even in an aloof and a sublime way. It's where the person really feels that the greatest form of life. This almost becomes some people's joy is to be miserable, to be upset, to be in a bad mood. And it makes everybody around them in a bad mood. And they always justify it as a part of a hashem. I'm not saying this about Shiman and Levy, but I'm saying this what we have to learn from this message. We sometimes use God to camouflage our own misery, to camouflage our own anxiety, to camouflage the fact that I'm not ready to confront what is going on in me. And I camouflage it on God on God. And that idealism allows me to continue with my dysfunction and make everybody around me miserable. So some people really are miserable and they just live there. Some people then use their yiddeskite to justify it. I'm I'm just from that's what he's saying here. So we use the depression and we name it holy and then we use the name of God to justify it. That's really sad. Yes. Very well said. It's interesting that we find so many different mid in theatim because they are the forefathers of all the Jewish people. Yes. So whatever will happen in Jewish history is going to come out in theatim. So now let's see what happens. Yakov speaks to them and he says, "You guys are very tough. Your weapons are weapons. They're weapons of war and they're weapons of kamas. They rob you and others from joy. They rob you and others from sim, from relaxation, from from enthusiasm, from inspiration. You guys live in secrecy. You guys live in isolation. My soul should not join your secrets. I do not want this behavior. My soul is my soul. My desire cannot really join this lifestyle because it's ultimately rooted in the realm of depression. And even though they also cat together, they can also have a not often but once in a while. Even when they get together, it's with melancholy. It's not that they get together with a joy, with a fluidity. There's not not there. There's always this heaviness. And again, we're talking here about great people. Sometimes it's manifested in very crude and ridiculous and narcissistic ways. But we're talking here even about great people. So he says, "Your life is in aid. You're segregated. You can't be with others. My soul can't join it. I I don't want I'm telling you. This is not where my nephesh can be because it's too heavy. It's too negative. Ultimately, yiddesh is about it's about joy. It's about positive energy. It's about seeing the light and the hope and the positivity and accentuating it and building on it. Do we need introspection? Yes. Do I need to do chuva? Yes. Do I need to sometimes criticize myself or criticize others and tell them the truth? Absolutely. This is not about everything is good and everything is wonderful and everything is dandy and if I made a serious mistake I don't have to make amends. That's not what he's saying. saying even if you have to make amends but afterwards it brings to so even when they get together sometimes they get together they also have their conferences he says but even then what's missing is that sense of and here is describing what the in the first generations the institute instituted what we call today a fabenan a real one we're not talking about a drinking party but a real faban which is the forerunner of the 12step program where people come together in a state of serenity, of tranquility, most importantly of positivity, to encourage people, to inspire people. This is what he means. Literally, it means in their in their assembly, my honor will not join. But he says it's deeper than that. Why? The word means joy. Like it says in paradis rejoiced like happiness right we say in the right what's the even when they come together. My is not rejoicing over there. My presence can't rejoice there because what's missing is the sense of there's so much negative there's so much despondency continues cursed is their cursed be their anger because it's so fierce says the Jacob is actually explaining He's saying, "I want you to know who you guys are. I know where your anger is coming from. You're cursed as your anger. It's so fierce." But the word, fierceness, confidence, strength, represents. It says, in other words, it's the makes you angry. It's the that makes you upset. Even though it's as it comes from the key would mean even though or because your your anger is coming because of it's because of you're so upset at yourself. Not that you're upset at people, you're upset at yourself. You're very very harsh with yourself and therefore you're also harsh with others. People feel it. I get it. And then he continues and says their anger is relentless. It's it's hard. And he says look in the medish how the medish explains what these words mean that their wrath was very harsh. And it fits in very well with what we're saying. You know that why their anger is so relentless. You know why their wrath is so heavy? Because they have very serious years. Hashem, their life is hard. They're trying to do the right thing. Life is hard. The fires are raging. The powers of promiscuity and negativity are there. It's so easy to be derailed. It's hard. That's why they're angry. They always are intense. They're always alert. You know, when you're in a war zone, you have to be on alert. You can't just uh relax. They can they're upset at themselves. They feel that I always did something wrong. I did an a and they're very introspective and they always find something. So this creates an internal sense of agitation, a lack of satisfaction and they look down at people who are relaxed or are happy because it means you don't take life seriously. So Yakov is explaining to them who they are. Wow. You can't just tell people not to be them. Explain to them what's happening. There's always this voice in you that's trying to say that if you really want to serve God, if you really have Hashem, this is the right mindset. It's so important because Yakov is not just telling them don't do it. He's explaining the beauty of it, the depth of it. They're trying to protect something. They're trying to protect themselves. They're trying to protect their world. They're trying to protect their sister. They're trying to protect their family. That's why they're so upset at that's why they're so upset at Ysef. So, you know what Yakov tells them? He says, "Kev, I get it. But I want to tell you what do I want you to do. Unbelievable words. What are his last words to them? I'm going to divide you guys among Jacob and scatter you among listen to these words. I'm going to send you around to be with Jews. Learn about people, be with people, mix your minds with people, become integrated with people. The Gar says in it speaks there about the argument between Sh and right how you praise a kala during her wedding. So B Shame says each Kala you praise her according to her genuine qualities and Basil says no you say she's gracious and beautiful asks B what if she's not says if somebody buys something from their store you compliment it or you criticize it you compliment it because a person has to be integrated with other people you have to tune into people so says I'm going to divide You have to with Eden. You have to spend time with the Jews. You can't stay in your bubble. You only know about life from your own perspective. You have to learn about what people go through. You have to understand what people's lives are like. You have to be integrated with yeden. You'll see God in every soul, in every heart, in every mind. And your attitudes will be developed. Your horizons will expand. And he uses two words There are Jews who are called Yakov. There are Jews who are called. You may think, okay, I'll integrate with certain individuals who are called, you know, great great sages, great personalities. says no can be I'm going to split you up to go around with to yakovs people who are on a more basic level they're called yakov yakov means a heal and people who are of a great spiritual stature they're called all of them learn to connect to them don't make differences you have to learn about the yaks of the world you have to learn about the of the world because everybody carries the light of hashem in a unique way everybody has something to teach you everybody has something amazing inside their life something beautiful, something inspiring. Learn to connect. Learn to listen. You say you're wasting your time. It's not Hashem's service. That's why Jacob says, "No, this is sometimes a deeper form of avoid I but I'm too upset. That's why you have to learn to be integrated with people." And this is the true wholesome way of serving Hashem as we explained and get into this more. These are the final words of Jacob to Shim and Ley. He's not just chastising them and telling them that that uh they did this and they did that and just talking about their negativity. That's not what he's doing. He's challenging them, but he's challenging them from a place of understanding them even complimenting them, complimenting their wrath, complimenting their anger, complimenting their agitation, really empathizing with it, understanding it, and understanding what it's trying to accomplish. And by the way, this is so true psychologically as well. The only way you can get rid of your internal critic or at least have him calm down a little bit is by understanding it. If you scream at your internal critic, "Oh, whoa, whoa." Try it. Try it. Next time your internal critic criticize you, you start telling me you're so you're driving me crazy. Stop criticizing me. Oh, is he going to get you? Oh, is he going to get you? I shouldn't criticize you when you're such an idiot. And look what you just did. You're telling me that I shouldn't criticize you when you know what a liar you are. You understand? He's going to use your criticism of the internal critic as the greatest weapon of internal criticism. Your very criticism of him is going to become the greatest tool in his hand to criticize you, to cut you down. You're going to have to understand him. And you have to understand what he's trying to protect. And then you can invite him to let go because that's which he's trying to protect is going to be protected. This is various forms today of therapy. Internal family systems, IFS, internal family systems and other forms of of therapy today focus very much on this. It's a very very this very profound ideas and it's really based Tanya often discusses you know the whole idea that that sadic transforms the animal. soul into the godly soul because the animal soul is not bad. It's not evil. It's trying to protect you. It's trying to survive so you can appreciate what it is and then you can invite it to let go of holding on to old stuff and then it can become your greatest ally in your in your oneness. So this is the approach Yakov is not just knocking them because it doesn't work. They're talking about deep emotions. Thea once said if you cut a ta if you cut your tya you make from one two if you cut your addiction your craving yeah he said when you break your craving what happens when you break a matzah from one you have two you can't just break it you have to you have to work with it you have to understand it you can discipline yourself not to fall prey to it but ultimately transformation comes from deep awareness deep self-awareness Yes. Questions questions. Beautiful. Is Yakov's ultimate blessing to them giving them self-awareness so they can use this to grow? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yakov is is is making them aware of what's going on. And Yakov is also explaining where it's coming from. And then Yakov is saying, "Let me tell you what to do. You got to connect to people. Don't now go in again into hiding and criticizing the world and yourself. Don't go into this mode of melancholy and dejection and isolation and you can't trust anybody." No. Connect. Connect. What's the advice for somebody who is like this by nature? We learned that the mid are part of a person's identity. If a person is by nature an agitated person, how do you use this mida for the service of God in a positive way and also how does he learn to be more if his nature is rooted in? Didn't you say a few times that you can't change your mid? We learned in the m of in the summer that you can't change your midi. So what if a person is by nature this agitated person? Okay, excellent question. Your primal drives are not agitated. Your primal innate drives may be focused on yer but ya doesn't mean agitation. Yera means you're in awe of life. Year means you cherish structure. You cherish discipline. Not not agitation. The agitation is usually coming because of something that is wounded. A message you told yourself at a very young age. an impaired core belief about yourself, a trauma. So it's important to distinguish. We want to work on our midas. Yes, my innate primal drives I'm not going to change. I don't have to change them. On the contrary, I want to be aware of them and harness them. But the agitation, the feeling of negativity about yourself that is incessant is not something you have to live with forever, for eternity. I may have to know how to deal with it. And for a while it may be really part of my life and you have to be compassionate towards it but it's ultimately something that I want to be able to grow from and grow with and reach a place of much deeper sim of much deeper self-acceptance. Self-acceptance doesn't mean I'm not upset about something I did wrong. I am upset about what I did wrong but that upsetness doesn't ruin my core and doesn't make me believe that I am the wrong thing. Essentially the challenge for humans is that a lot of negative things can masquerade as holiness and vice versa and it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes. You once shared this idea I think it comes from the Tanya that the way to tell the difference is to look at the results. If introspection breeds negative feelings then it's coming from the Sahara. If the thought inspires, encourages, motivates, brings more light, more joy, then it's a holy thought. Yes. Well said. Can we say that Yakinu's prophecy? What he was telling Shim and Ley is that they have to integrate with the people is disconnected to the fact that Ley served in the Bikash. Yeah. The balatanya writes in paral and in other places that ley was given the avoid of singing. They were in charge on the daily concertos in the B mikdash. They were vocalists. They were musicians which really represents the cloffesh the yearning the yearning to go upwards. the need the desire to escape and flee from the material world and transcend into the oneness. So there is this element of gura like fire that rises upwards that is embedded into the spiritual DNA of ley that fits very very well very well with this the word shim also comes from the word which means listening perceptiveness there's a lot of perceptiveness like ley also comes from the word ye love my husband now will be part of me he'll accompany me so it's represented by a wanting for oneness with hashem and therefore maybe they're agitate ated by the world is also connected to that is in the water. Look, we once learned to about remember souls that are the the fish of the sea that that walk in dry land, but they're essentially in submerged in the water. They don't want to be visible. So, this is all this concept on on higher levels. Danil sent me last night a beautiful tight from the it says in you have to pray for the welfare of the king right because if not for the fear of the melik people will swallow each other alive so it says spiritually it means hashem you have to d for hashem's one is to be revealed in the world. What's the malus? Is that is a that you need because if you don't have if you only have you can uh you can uh melt away in with love like you crave the infinite and and a person could swallow up another person alive because of so you need so there's a very delicate balance. Sometimes we speak about this way. Sometimes we speak about ava this way. But there is this tension that I want to go up and I want to be swallowed up and then I have to come down. It's called and so generally it says in Kabal and that the were associated with rats with a yearning upwards. It's also explained in Tanya chapter 50 and that's all consistent with this idea in a much higher level the need the desire to to to ascend. And then there is to be connected to people. Also, if you remember our last year 5781 on the yeshiva.net, we spoke at length about what Alterbus said the difference of an ailus and the story of Yam Kipper when he took off his talis and he went to help the woman. That was also the there was a whole somebody reminded me that we we focused on this theme. We have to come to realize that we are both negative and positive. We're kind and mean. We're good and bad. We're quiet and loud etc. It's at the center point and integration of these both sides of ourselves that we are real that we are authentic. We are our true authentic selves. You don't have to deny anything. You have to learn to integrate. Thank you. The work involves understanding, acknowledging, and honoring the protective emotional parts of ourselves while understanding that there are other emotional parts of ourselves, loving, desire of connections, longing, grief that have been placed in exile as a result of the protective parts. The work is to integrate all of our emotional parts. That's beautifully said. I think that's an IFP, right? IFS, which means we we and this is really it's such a fundamental idea in in Jewish spirituality and that parts of us are in exile. And guula means liberating all of our parts. Gu means none of your parts have to be hidden away in exile anymore. So you have to understand what's going on. You have to acknowledge. You have to honor the protective emotional parts. It's like the scab or the crust that grows in order to protect something under it and it doesn't want you to see it. The banana peel is protecting the banana. The walnut shell is protecting the walnut as is the orange peel. You don't get angry at the peel. You have to understand it. You have to understand what it's protecting. And you have to understand the emotional parts that went into hiding, that went into exile. They have become isolated. We don't have access to them. They have been hidden away because it was too painful to have them there. They would have been hurt too badly. I couldn't deal with it. So I put them in exile. And now I want guula. So this is all part of the work of spiritual, psychological, emotional, personal redemption questions that are u that we're taking here are connected to the shar the other questions you can email me about. Okay. Should we take more questions? Beautiful questions. I wanted to learn a second piece still from the bos, but we won't have time for that. I always think we'll have more time than we had. What I find is that some very firm people still have a lot of ego and a lot of pride and it exists in them. and their level of drum beatat. They revel in being holier than thou. They secretly peel. They secretly feel proud of themselves that they are at least in their own mind in a very high level. You could see they walk how they walk into the synagogue. They look down at people maybe not even consciously perhaps being on a high level on the from meter and still possessing pride and ego. They look down in condensation at low levels. This can appear to them being sad, depressed. Maybe they're not sad, depressed. Maybe they're just have a lot of ego and pride. And maybe sometimes it's justified because they really worked on themselves. Yeah, I get it. That's another manifestation of this. But as demaresh says, there's something fundamentally missing. Because when you're in a real relationship with Hashem and a real relationship with self, the holier than thou doesn't really work. Because holier than thou is, you know, all about judgmentalism and all about comparing myself to you and the need to put you down, to lift myself up. That's an ultimate wound that I have inside of me that I really have to work on and and see what's happening. There's a lot of anxiety in my service of God. The mar is not even addressing this. He's talking about not the concept of holier than thou, but just the concept of real internal challenging myself to the point of I am agitated inside and therefore I demand that from people as well. I don't think he's talking about here more of a superficial holier than thou attitude. But it's certainly one more manifestation of this where in the name of from kite I can't connect to people. I can't really enjoy people. I can't really enjoy myself. That's the problem. And when you can't enjoy yourself, you can't enjoy anybody else. Maybe the idea of making them agitated is that people who are totally oblivious to the deeper things in life are bothered by inexplicable pain and suffering because they generally live a more superficial life. They don't think about things. In the midst of agonizing over deep philosophical questions, Woody Allen asks a happy golucky couple, how they manage, and they answer, "We are very superficial and nothing bothers us." That's a way of living. Maybe the Talm struggles with the deepest questions and problems of the world. These questions have no answers on our level. Like why do good people suffer? Why do bad people prosper? Perhaps the fact that these questions and problems have no answers and grapple with these questions. This causes profound agitation and pain and melancholy and dejection. So is somebody who's very sensitive to deeper questions. It's a very good point you're making. In fact, I once read an article I think by Sivan Rahav Mayor or maybe somebody. Yeah, I think that when she became a Baltua, I think she met Rabbi Adinstein Rabin Evan Israel and he said to her, don't think that becoming religious, becoming a Baltu means that your questions get answered. It just means that you have deeper questions. Some people say that from is an acronym of filicious venic mitzvah a lot of wickedness and a few mitzvah. Well, sometimes that's sad. That's what he's describing, right? Sometimes people think being f means being aloof, being segregated from others. But it's these two brothers after what is done to Dina who acted upon it and they sought revenge with a plan. They don't seem so aloof and segregated. They seem like very very involved. Um, yeah, they certainly had a plan and were involved. They obviously had a practical side to them. But the point is that they were so agitated because of their lack of tolerance of any evil. question. How does this connect to the fact that later in the story in the desert, it's the tribe of Shim? 24,000 people in the tribe of Shim that justify idol uh adultery of Zimry and Kusby who was a Midionite woman. And that's when Pinus goes and kills Zim. These are the same. This is the same tribe of Shim. Wow. It's a good question. It's a good question. Maybe maybe the answer is that sometimes I'm not sure but maybe sometimes when a person gets so agitated and then they crack they go to the other extreme because it's not fully integrated. You know when I'm so demanding on myself and I plot then I act out in the opposite extreme. So you really have to have a balance. Maybe maybe that's what happened. I don't understand. Somebody commented that the more from somebody is sometimes they think that that's a reason to be more miserable. Why isn't from Jewish religious devotion? How can being devoted make somebody miserable? I'm thinking that being from does that to all who are from? What does this person mean in his comment? Raendel, you're being challenged here. I think what he meant was it's not what really being from being from means being afraid means as you said devoted to Tyra devoted to Judaism devoted to God devoted to Jewish law but when it's not studied or internalized in the proper way it can become a cover up for misery that's what he meant You asked before does this message resonate? I tell myself I am worthy because that is what I have learned from fromus. Is that cerebral? Is that real? Do I really feel worthy or do I think worthy? Many of us think worthy but we don't feel worthy. I don't struggle with feeling worthy at my core or not. But I do feel often unworthiness in our bubble from the rigid ways of our communities. On the other hand, if I truly felt worthy, would I be bothered? Maybe I'm bothered because I don't really feel worthy. If I really feel worthy at my core, would I be judgmental of the people I consider to be holier than thou kum f? Or am I discerning the truth or is it me may really reflecting my own insecurity? Does my discernment protect me? Maybe because I don't want to face my own insecurity. Am I too much in my brain? If I spend time accepting my feelings of unworthiness in our community and being kind to myself for it, I could accept that there are shim and leies among us and then let let them intimidate me. Bottom line, all of this resonates. We have to be careful and have a lot of and is for people. Don't judge externalities because sometimes people who look like they think they're holier than thou are hurting inside. Sometimes you look at a person it looks like he has a healthy ego. He's all proud of himself. There's a lot of inner spiritual pride. He walks into shul he feels holier than other people but really deep down he's smashed and devastated and crushed and there's nothing there and it's just his little shell to protect him. So just have compassion for him too. Beautiful Rabbarin, you're an ambassador of love. Underneath my ego and my pride, somebody says, is fear and dread. My protective measure is detachment. Detachment from people. But ultimately, there is a forlorn desire and attachment. We need to take it out of exile. This class really deserves a song and a circle dance with hands clasped afterwards. Huh? Having a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful comments and feedback and questions. What a lovely conversation today. Ah, what a lovely conversation. I don't hear anybody. Why does nobody speak? Okay, next question. Beautiful stuff. Okay, next comment or question. As a recovering overthinker, I appreciate this class. Always a good reminder. I love that. A recovering overthinker. Gavaldic. Is that your own phrase? You know, you have recovering alcoholics, recovering other forms of addiction. This is a recovering overthinker. Very good. Very good. I like how do I deal with all of this inside of me, the expectations and projections of ourselves and to others happens when we make Hashem the monster in the sky and expect children and ourselves to live up to ideals that are meant to be attained over a lifetime. So we create all of these expectations and projections. We need to be sensitive to reality. I agree with Raban. People who feel holier than thou might be hurting inside. And people have to realize this and help them overcome it. But you will only do it if you yourself are not trapped in your own exile. And you can have compassion for your own lack of worthiness. And then you can really embrace yourself and find yourself. And then you can really be there for other people who need to feel holier than other people simply to tell themselves that they're worthy. Feel compassion. But the only way you will do that is if you really are self-aware is the antidote to overthinking. It cuts right to the truth of reality. It appreciates the brain but doesn't allow us to worship our brains and get caught up there. The brain is a tool for reality. Beautiful. Okay. I love you all. Sending love and blessings and light. What a message to be able to have a to be able to really experience the delight in in being there for a person and lifting up a person and doing a favor for another Jew. The BMP says a soul comes down for 70 80 years to do one favor to a Jew spiritually or physically. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Have an amazing day. God willing. I'm just going to announce this. Monday morning, we have our 7:30 a.m. class. That's next Monday morning. Important. Sunday night 9:30 p.m. Rabbi Shiman Russell, the famous therapist, and myself will have a Zoom live session on Coach Manim, the famous Lakewood Sunday evening Zoom with Asha Parnes and Coach Manakim. The question we're going to be dealing us is with why are so many teenagers miserable today and how could we help them? Rabbi, I'm going to ask the questions. Rabbi Russell hopefully is going to give some answers, but that's going to be Sunday evening, 9:30. 9:30, you can get the Zoom link from us. If you if you can get on to Zoom because there may be more than a thousand people. It's also going to be streamed live on the yeshiva.net. Another important one, a week later, excuse me, Monday night, the 24th of Tavis, the yard of the alterba, we're going to have a big zoom, myself and Rabbi Sha Ta on teaching Tanya in our generation. How to teach Tanya, how to understand it, how to live it, how to internalize it, how to teach it. That's going to be not this Monday night, but a week from this Monday night, 10:00 p.m. Again, also on the yeshiva.net. net and on Zoom. Everybody is invited. You can also watch the replays of everything. Okay. In the meantime, the next class will be Mon Sunday night 9:30 with Rabbi Russell on Zoom and the yeshiva.net. Not this Zoom. It's going to be a different Zoom. It's the Zoom of Coach Manim. And Monday morning, I'll see you 7:30. Bye-bye. Amen. Amen. Whoever is in Florida, take some vitamin D for me. The pett said, "The greatest thing in the world is to do somebody else a favor." Yeah. Yeah. He was very connected to the mar of you have to with the you have to spread yourself around. Go to Yakov. Go to Israel. Go learn about Eden. Learn about Eden. Embrace Jews. Hug them. Lift them up. Watch them. Somebody once shared with me. His name is Rabbi Schmully Rabbi. He once visited Rabbi Adinstein and he asked him who should he go meet in Jerusalem whom he can be inspired by and guided by. He was looking for the great sages and personalities living in Jerusalem. Rabiadin told him, "The great people of Jerusalem, you're going to find in the barber shops and in the cleaners and in the kioskim, you know, the little grocery stands and the vendors and the tailor and the shoe makers and those selling lafas and fruits, the simple Jews going to shul going to the kaisil. Very simple, very modest. don't seem to be very interesting or colorful or or fascinating, intriguing personalities. He says, "Go hang out with them, spend time with them, listen to them, and you're going to learn the most important things about life." Yeah, I think I saw some of them recently. Yeah. Listen, they're everywhere, but certainly in Uraya, it's taka. You know, you have people, they live very modest lives. Many of them came with nothing, endured difficult circumstances and situations. You watch them walking in the streets of sometimes with a cane. older people going into the same store that they have been visiting for 40 years, 50 years since the liberation of Jerusalem. But you see the schina on their face, a simplicity and you could learn a lot from these people. A commitment, a dedication, a faith in God. I remember I once needed a taxi in Israel many years ago. I was there. It was the middle of the night. I finished a lecture. My ride didn't show up. They ordered me a taxi. Taxi from Tel a Viv back to it. It was 3 in the morning. Anyway, I went into the taxi and I was a little afraid because the person wasn't wearing a keepa and he had a darker complexion. I didn't know if he's a Jew, is an Arab, you know, I didn't know if it was safe. It was in the time of the inifat. I was afraid. Uh, and then he puts on, he asked me if I mind if he puts on the things that he listens to. I said, "No, put it on." I was hoping, let me hear what it's going to be. Maybe it'll be a shar for me and then I'll calm down. And he puts on a recording of Tahillum. Recording of Tahillim. Somebody a Yemenite Jew saying the in a Yemenite accent and sing song. I say what's this? He says listen unfortunately I can't go to shul I'm not very religious but I want to say tah tom to hashem. So in my taxi journeys I have this recording somebody says tom and I listen to their words. I said, "How many times do you go through the Tahill a day?" And he says, "Four or five." You hear the baron. Here's a Jew in the middle of the night driving a taxi. You look at him, he's completely not connected, but he listens to the whole recording of Tahill four or five times a day because, you know, he goes on long journeys. Whatever it takes, the Yemenes, they have a good a good hav. So it took an hour, an hour and a half over his hours. That's what he listens to. And I felt so humbled, you know. I walk into the car and I was hesitant. Who is he? Am I safe? Am I not safe? It would have been so much more comfortable with me, you know, if he would have had a beard and pay and a big yamla. But it just showed me that you never know where you're going to find the presence of God, the presence of truth. the presence of love. That's what Aram said. Don't go away from me when I'm giving mustard and tongue to my guests. Don't go away from me. You don't know where you find God. Sometimes you encounter God in prayer and in transcendence and in tyra study and in meditation. And sometimes you encounter God in the face of a stranger in a taxi ride. If you would tell me to say the whole Tahillum a whole day, every single day, the whole we do once a month. Shabas, I'm not always in the mood. And here's a Jew every single day, four or five times. Ah, yeden yeden. You understand this? You can only get from mixing with people. You have to have to learn about people. You can't get this in your bubble. There's things you have on your own. Everybody has their own unique relationship and you need that privacy and that confidentiality and that inner core. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a rabbitson here from Texas who writes, "The sincerity and courage I witness in Jews I encounter rivals much of what we see in regular religious life." Absolutely inspiring. Yeah, we see this all the time. It's beautiful. Thank you very much. How do you deal with the habits? The bad habits. Oh, the bad habits. Well, the first the first the first step is to be aware. become aware and not let them control our lives and then to be curious what is going on. Sometimes we need help with from somebody