When Life Throws a Curveball, Surrender Becomes a Lifeline - Likkutei Torah Shlach Vata Yigdal #4

[music] the yeshiva.net. Okay. So, we're middle of the in page where are we holding page column one in the English it's 77 page we're middle of B right we finished The line starts. It's actually the same where we that I announced last time. It's never got to it right. Okay. Today's class is dedicated by our very own Reb Israel Yehuda Hakayan Angel in honor of his birthday this week on the 23rd day of Sivven. He's not here physically, but I hope he's here virtually. Happy birthday. And everything you learn should be internalized inside of you and inside of us and to radiate it to others. Thank you very very much. also dedicated by somebody anonymously in honor of their anniversary maztov with blessings that our children live up to their fullest beautiful potential. Amen. [snorts] And all the blessings. Thank you. So after a long discussion or relatively long discussion that there are two ways in which we can experience or celebrate mitzvah one would seem lower than the other but really on a deeper level it's much higher and when we say much higher means you're actually experiencing the truth of the mitzvah in a much more authentic way. Alterba said one way of looking at the mitzvah is focusing on the particular energy that this mitzvah represents because every mitzvah has layers and layers of significance according to according to according to douch according to and the more sensitive you are the more spiritually attuned you are the more you could see in it he says but that's not really the core of the mitzvah the core of the mitzvah is when a person does it without any reason not because you do it without any reason. So it's like meaningless on the contrary that has the greatest meaning of the mitzvah. Realizing that all the reasons in the world pale in comparison to the most powerful opportunity and gift that is the mitzvah and that is Hashem says I want this. This is me. I'm giving you me. I'm giving you me. And to put me into reason or into experience is a very very uh impoverished attempt. It's a uh you would say it's a pathetic attempt. It's it's depriving one from a relationship with everything and and limiting it and reducing it to an experience that could be retained and experienced by my identity and my consciousness and my nervous system and my brain and my heart today which which is a nice thing. It's a beautiful thing in the context of that which I can experience and there is that aspect in the mitzvah that's the first element of the mitzvah in that itself there are endless layers of growth right how much how much do you perceive what are what are you experiencing but in its core I'm I'm sharing with I'm sharing me he says that's what a really means a means a servant what does it mean a servant what makes somebody a servant is not I appreciate the depth of what my master is telling me. I'm a partner with him. We share we share the same ideals in life. We had a business meeting this morning and therefore he said this is the plan and I'm going to do it with enthusiasm. That's not the definition of an EVID. Now, usually we say this in a negative way. An EV has no choice. Basically, he has he's a servant. He's a slave. He has no choice. But in pimius in in a much deeper way here the evid becomes the the richest of experiences because it's the ability to put away any agenda even the most intellectually sophisticated spiritual agenda as he puts it it's agula it's a rafua it's a masatan it's agula which means there's a gift here there's a healing element here there's masomatan there's a business here which is all things that allow ow people to grow and that's why we do these things. I don't go to a doctor because I like what he looks like and I don't go for a gula because I'm bored and I don't invest in a business because I have nothing to do. It's all in order to gain. I want to gain. I want to grow from it. So that's not the core of the mitzvah. It's all true. But the core of the mitzvah is something infinitely transcendent which I can only touch and experience by stripping away everything else besides the fact that it's what it's what you shared with me. It's what you told me. And as I said last time this is reflected of course in a more limited way in every real relationship that in every real relationship even in listening. Yeah. You talk about listening right what is real listening to somebody else to be connecting to somebody else. It's not so easy for us. But real listening is to listen to somebody in order to be able to understand and appreciate their views, their experiences, their perspectives, their inner feelings, and reflecting back to them that we actually heard it without any judgment. Now, that's not so easy because you're wrong. [laughter] you don't know what you're talking about or you're just insecure or you just have a lot of broken parts and you're responding to it so I should not reflect it back to you. So do [laughter] we're tempted right away to like you know either roll our eyes or give a sigh like even if I'm going to tolerate it I'm going to tolerate it at best because I know that it's better than the alternative. I don't want to get into a fight but to really really appreciate it that's already you're asking for too much. But the truth is in every relationship that is the key. The key is can I really really suspend all judgment. It's not you say but they're wrong. Maybe they're wrong. Maybe they're not wrong. For a moment let's put that aside. We're talking now about the relationship. We're not talking about if they're right or wrong. Maybe they're 100% wrong. Maybe they're 50% wrong. Maybe you don't realize that you're also responding to something. That's all good a good discussion, right? That's where you are. But can >> [snorts] >> the the we're talking about the value of the rel the value of the relationship is that you should be able to know that I'm actually connecting to you where you are maybe tomorrow you're going to be somewhere else paradoxically of course you can only grow to a much deeper space by this type of connection right by full acceptance of you today you'll actually be able to open up to your potential tomorrow so it actually it helps for growth and and this is not because I need a reason. I don't have to put it into a context. I can actually you'll you'll try it with people and you'll see how powerful it is, especially close relationships. It's not something we're used to because we're all brilliant correctors. All of us, right? Whoever you are, we're all brilliant correctors. So, right away, this is wrong, that's wrong, and there's no opportunity to actually really really connect. It's it's it's actually a magical I don't magical it's a very very powerful experience just to tune in. And when somebody can really do that to you, you could feel how powerful it is when somebody can really do that to you. It's it's pretty rare. It's not so common because I'm like already waiting. Where am I going wrong? What's the real point here? The real point here is you're tuning in to them without any judgment. I I I want to know who you are right now. Who you are. This is not but you're supposed to be this, you're supposed to be that. And this is also connected to the fact that when somebody is sharing, there was a uh there was a therapist once told me that uh when people come into his office [snorts] um so he'll ask them often about different experiences of life, why they feel this way about this and why they feel this way about this. He says, "As long as they have a why, he knows that he didn't hit their most raw spot." So why do you feel like this? Because this and why this because of this and and then and why does that bother you? So why does that bother you? And uh usually, you know, a tear will come down the eye and says, "I don't know. It just bothers me." And he knows that he actually touched a much deeper space. Wh why I'm now asking why on the why, right? And the truth is because all the logical constructs are not touching the core. When you're touching the core, there's no wides. We're going to see about that. It's deeper than why. Why itself is a certain template that we create to fit it into logic. At the core, there's things that are deeper than why. So, it's not when he says, "Do the mitzvah without a why because I'm afraid of why because we don't like logic." Because we spoke in previous classes on the contrary. It's because I want to actually touch you pre the why pre the logic and just to force it into my logic. I'm not touching you. And the same again you could see it in relationships, right? As long as I'm forcing my partner or my soulmate or my child or my wife or my husband to give me a why and if not I can't accept it, I'm depriving myself from a real connection with them. There is respecting the rawness of an experience at its core which is always higher than a logical construct. Logic comes afterwards. Kabala always understood this when it said that kesser is prema. Rats is prema. It's not after ratson is higher than no. What do you mean? Give me logic and then I want it. Doesn't work that way. It's not true. Ratsen is deeper than it starts with rats and then there is. So this is also true when I could connect to your ratsen higher than your I'm connecting to a much deeper space in you and that's the power this is all a metaphor for our relationship with Hashem. So now continues the other side. >> This is a very deep level connecting to the is maybe a level before that if you're sort of going just not doing things based on other words. >> Oh for sure you're you're you're you talking about there's three levels of mitzvah. There's actually four levels of mitzvah here. He's discussing only the highest two. You're right. If you if you're discussing the full picture, you should discuss another two levels that are much lower. The first is which means just by wrote. The second is I want reward or I'm afraid of punishment. And those are not mentioned here in the mimer. [laughter] >> I guess the discussed it's not discussed even. You're right. It should be discussed but it's in this m is not even going there. It's like duh. the the the the the lowest level here is really the one of the highest levels and that is I'm doing the mitzvah to experience to experience the flow the opportunity in the relationship and that's what he's not negating it but he's saying there's something deeper than that and that is to do the mitzvah stripped away from any agenda even the most spiritual sophisticated lofty agenda [snorts] besides like the fact that I don't need any why. It's good enough for me that you you say you you want it. Wow. Amazing. I I and in fact any any anything after that is just going to take away. It's just going to ruin it. Well, I don't need to go there. This is better than everything. It's it's you. It's the essence. That's going to be the best re the best reason is that there's no reason. It's the best reason. You're not going to get any better reason. Everything you're going to get after that is already dumbing it down. It's making it suitable to my ego or to my brain or to my art which is nice. It's a good thing. But when you appreciate even a little bit what a cyh really is it's it's a dumbed down version said in galdic so it's not just a vart is [snorts] multil is the famous is the basic commentary of pa once there's two multilas multil and mika So says so the ask what's lamer usually lay is to repeat to repeated you remember from school it's lamer to say over I'm not giving it to mo for him to learn it's to say over he's ah Don't keep it for yourself. But by everybody was there. So what's the lame? So you might say for their children they should all say it over to their children who weren't born yet. If they weren't there but says that all the gay were there. So say in that here means different than the whole lamer means God said I want feedback. I want to hear from you what you think about what I said. That's the lamer. Interesting. I want to know feedback though. I'm not just giving you my 10 things. Tell me what you think. Yeah. I finished a Shia. I want feedback. You agree. You don't agree. You think it was great. You think it was okay. 10 suggestions, ten commandments. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to do it. That's the lay. >> Repeat what you heard. >> Repeat what you heard. Yeah. It's like in therapy, they'll sometimes say, "Can you repeat back?" Yeah. You ever do this? Repeat back to your husband or to your wife what you just heard. And right away you'll see you know you approve you don't approve etc. Yeah. Okay great beautiful. So that the Jews was an interactive experience. It doesn't say. So that's the lay it was an interactive experience. Hashem spoke and they answered. Now the question is what did they answer? So you would think this is enough. But of course you know we argue. We argue about whatever we can argue about. So get into an argument. Now the argument is a fascinating argument. What did they say? So says al love love on the positive commandments they said THEIR FEEDBACK WAS YEAH on the negative commandments their feedback was no of course not. So for example that's very logical. No. No. That we won't do it. Of course not. Of course I'm not murdering anybody. Of course not. Of course not. All the on the on the yes they said yes. And on the nose they also said yes. Meaning when Hashem said, >> "Yes." Yeah. He didn't mean yes, we'll kill. Yes. We won't do it. Yeah. So the question is, we really have to argue about everything. Like it's pure semantics semantics. Yeah. It's it's it's it's it's like you can get an argument that seems less thematic. It's like what's the difference? You tell your child don't cross the street without holding my hand. Don't cross the street without holding my hand cuz you can hurt yourself. What's your child says I won't or says okay? Yes. It's the same point I'm not going to kill. If you said no, you said yeah. Like it's like now you could say if it's if it's something even if it's something that's still happening still you have to understand this is about something that happened once. So they're arguing about something that happened thousands of years ago. And what's the argument? If they said the word, they said the word and right the two giants of the generation. And this is the whole this is a huge argument. So the one said in he said that it's a very deep argument. It's not it's not a small argument. And he said you could see it from one detail. So [snorts] gobaka is agreeing with on the h right he's only arguing on the lav. So why does he repeat that line says alavak should have said yeah on the he agrees with doesn't argue yeah even if he wants to repeat it to make sure you know what he means he could have said al he doesn't do that he repeats the hane again al so he said from here you could see the of they're arguing about the whole approach to Yiddish. It's an approach to Yiddish says the the approach by Maida was you're going to internalize the value of every mitzvah. So if it's a mitzvah that's positive, your whole SYSTEM IS SCREAMING. OF COURSE, YEAH, I LOVE IT. And if it's what's your system screaming laugh, this is disgusting. Eckled never I'm not getting who steals please that their system screamed out love it was an organic love it was like no it's horrible I'm going to vomit that's the love and be says because that was the whole point that it's integrated into their psyche so what's positive they feel the positivity and when it's negative they feel how negative it is of course that that has no room in my life. It's I'm I'm out. This is not something I will ever allow in my house. Says is the main of the mitzvah is the B to the not my experience of it but the fact that you want it you want it. So it's not nea the nature of the mitzvah if it's positive or negative it's yes my opportunity to connect to you >> how I feel. Yeah, regardless of how I feel, it's not nea what you said. It's neg who said it like in a relationship sometimes it's very important what you said this I like this I don't like this I like in one way this I like in a different way here the says what's important is not who said it not what was said who said it oh you said it of course no but this is this is shabas that's software that's software that's how your is being expressed here it's being expressed this way it's says this way, but the fact that you said it, that's what matters most. Not the specific of the mitzvah. And that's why repeats because the hak even in the hannes is not the same h like he's not AGREEING ON THE H EITHER THE h is yeah I like it. That's the h but even the h on the hes is not I like it it's hane. Yes. This is this is I'm surrendering completely. means that there's a fundamental acceptance of the relationship and therefore you don't have to tell me the details that's by everybody but in that itself in the nishma itself in the nishma it should be integrated and even is the hav and this is connected to their life story. Rabishal was a kayal. Rabishal was born into the Jewish people. Rabishal was says was a he was a satikim. So it was all integrated into a system. Rabaka's whole life was a Beng's life was it was a life of transcendence. Yet till 40 he didn't learn. He was a bouva he was a Bengim. his life was says in that when the Romans were killing him said my whole life I was waiting his whole life was so his whole was the more transcendent the more he appreciated it the more out of the better it was not because not because of a negative thing because for him that was the deepest experience what is real miserious never mish means that you realize that BL completely mitas is the only reality that is truly truly who you are that that's the ultimate self really but it's not a self that's integrated within the system it's one that transcends the system so that's the that's the high that's the highest mga here he's talking about >> even if there's an experience not to allow even the experience to distract from the purity of Of course, he had experience [laughter] >> and that's why that's why in the orchard he didn't get stuck in the paradise. That's what we spoke about in a previous year about all the journeys, healing journeys with mitzvah. Only didn't get stuck in the paradise. The garra says that Ben Za lost his mind. died. He became a heretic. He couldn't deal anymore with reality. And was the only one. So this explains it. That's the what he says here used to say that the said that all their came from I I think I told you the other of this. It's clearly that was speaking about says its because it says in inel told this to people. He said it to his about himself. There was nobody who experienced the depth of mitzvah like because the cabala the kabala is is a huge part of it is about the the meaning of mitzvah on the highest frequencies. But if the cav is if there's hay hane lav so ultimately the experience can become a distraction not but it could become and therefore when you go into the orchard you don't want to come out in peace it's too overwhelming it's too powerful I get lost in my experience but there was the of so that to the rat al he never got he never took a detour he never got off track he stayed completely loyal to the truth and this is one of the most important important powerful lessons in life like you say what's neg the fourth level here in the mind I'm fine even with the third level [laughter] sometimes I'm fine with doing it as a robot you know just get out of bed and put on fillin and enough you even appreciate that there's going to be benefits the third level the highest level that you're actually doing it for for a relationship with God. It's like it's it's a good investment for you. It's healing. If somebody tells me I'm going to Davin because it's healing. You ever something better than that? I never I'm going to because I need some healing. You ever heard anybody say that? I'm going to say some because I need healing. I'm going to because I need a heal. I need a heal. I need to heal. Huh? >> Urgent care. >> Urgent care. Exactly. Exactly. free therapy three times a day by the cosmic therapist. I don't even have to pay and you have it here every 15 minutes. Where do you get a better healing deal? But for some reason, not everybody feels that shakus might have heals them and you'd be out of business, right? All the couples coming for therapy. Let's just go do min together. [laughter] Let's just do ma. We'll go find a with a woman section. We'll do min together and we'll heal. Now the truth is if they would do min together they will heal. [laughter] That's true. >> No offense. >> No offense. Huh? No. The point is I want I I I I'm trying to glorify what he's saying here. It's it's that a person experiences the depth of it. But the truth is and it's all true and it's true and one one when and the truth is when you learn you start cultivating this element of mitzvah the personal psychological emotional experience of it and those who are just matalate are depriving God from a malikalment. Don't deprive God from that's not fair. said, right? The whole the whole life is really ding one big ding. But the truth is that the fourth level is neg to everybody because and especially to sensitive people and spiritually sensitive people because the higher you climb the ladder and you go into deeper frequencies there's also distractions and the skeletons that come out on the from the closet on the higher levels are much more subtle and much more lethal. Yeah. That's what we spoke about the clip of Atsilus Ruma see my B. And when you go to that place because there's so much enlightenment because you went into the orchard whatever that orchard looks like for you you can easily get stuck there because you're not stuck in a in a garbage in a in a dust bin in a heap of garbage. You're stuck in a paradise. You're stuck in an orchard of healing of enlightenment. You've seen things. You've you you've gotten over your trauma, quote unquote. You're not like the rest of your family. [laughter] Your whole family is stuck is stuck in trauma. And you have Yeah. You're healed. You're a healed man. >> Exactly. You have a document how many journeys you did. You went so now you're the Leoi to your family. Hula, you're the the one who's heralding redemption. And there's some very very powerful powerful energy there. And that's where one needs to be extremely careful not to go off track. If you're not feeling more brittle in that space, there's something off. Because the closer you get to, there's more bitt not less bit. If you're feeling more arrogant, more judgmental, more I know everything, like we learned it previously with a closer you are, the further you are. That's the rule. is only has a letter he wrote right after he was telling how to respond. The closer you are to Kame, the more you feel the not the less. So if you're feeling more mitas, there's something off here. There's something off. >> You have to go back to escafia. That's why it's so important. Yeah. not to become a bal Madrega right the moment you become a bal Madrega when something is challenging you it's like I'm I'm staying a bal Madrega so something is challenging me I just have to become judgmental when you're not a bal Madrega you can go up and down you're you're flexible you're pliable you're not stuck if you're mad you're challenging that Madrega now you become the enemy or I go into denial you understand it's it's very subtle stuff if you're open like we learned in the before But you're on a ramp. It's not going to be you're going to see you know that you have an it's going to be fine. You're you're open to the weaknesses of people. You know that you have skeletons and therefore you know that in every stage you need bit to leave it in the highest place. And Rabaka never lost that. He was the highest. He was the greatest of the great. Nobody nobody had the greatness of the Gmorrah says in the whole that we have the whole is based from we don't have anything else outside of because he's the one who bequeath after the 24,000 students died he had five students and he built the say and therefore is the one for but had that of of of so that's why he repeats the hayne twice because The h of even is like it's a different hyish it's a h of mitus and by it's a h of so even in the hannes they weren't saying the same thing you could say you learn from this two people could say the same words they're not saying the same thing says ali means one thing says ali means something else so of course he has to repeat it don't think it's THE SAME IT'S NOT JUST WE'RE arguing about the love we're arguing about the >> huh Huh? Yeah. Real mit. Because he never went into the paras for an experience. If you're going in for an experience, then it's too good. You don't come out or you die or whatever happens. It's you're going never went in for the experience. He remained connected. He remained aligned to truth. The experience will be there. I'm not worried about the experience. It's not like if you're if you're if you're if you're if you're in the if you're connected to the core, you'll have all the experiences in the world, but they're not a distraction ever. >> No, never. Okay. So now goes vh. >> Exactly. And especially especially when life sends curve balls and things don't fit in to a person's uh experience in a positive way, you have no framework. You see, this is where everybody needs the fourth level, the highest level of the mitzvah because the the the all the levels work when there's a framework. I can appreciate it. But sometimes there's a moment Yeah. what the bump calls you're in. You lose all the madas. There's nothing left. And now the only way of remaining afloat is complete surrender. Letting the mind take a long vacation, a long extended vacation. And we all know that there's moments in life where I don't have a framework to fit it in. It's too painful. It's too challenging. It's uh it's very very deep. It's it's a very deep painful experience a person is going through and sometimes it doesn't stop and all the frameworks in the world are not going to hold it. They're going to all crumble. We do it. We do it because we like listen we all like being safe. We like predictability. We like being in control. Right? That's what our animal soul learns to do. Predictability, safe control. So we try to do that in life, you know? And we do it also in the world of religion. If I do this, I'll get this. And if I do this, it's like God is a vending machine. You know, if you put in, oh, you didn't put enough money, put another dollar, you'll get a tradition soup. Oh, you wanted sushi. For that, you need $20. You know the vending machines. Your credit card doesn't have enough money. Go get a job. So, it's like we negotiate with God. I'll do this. I'll do this. I won't do I won't speak. I'll start dying with a minion. I'll start learning whatever it is. And you know what? The sandwich is still not coming out. So, now two things can happen. Either you become very, very disillusioned. And you become very very angry. You become very frustrated which are all normal human reactions that which huh start kicking the machine and breaking the machine and and then you call lawyers and you start suing the company that made the machine and for the next 50 years you're in court suing the lawyers. You're busy suing God for the world that he created that you don't like. And sometimes people live this way. It's a very very hard way to live because you lose your energy. You're cynical or you're just angry. It's very very hard. And this is where there's only one inion and that's going to save you and that is BL. B is not weakness. BL is the ability to know that your relationship is as powerful as ever. And you were invited into ais with you heard. You were invited for with ais with is a different type of experience. is with is you weren't thrown away. You were invited into something. You say, "I don't need this invitation." Okay, that I understand that you have to find out from your if your didn't agree with it because it's not so simple. When you say, "I didn't need this." Your ego didn't need it. >> You say, "Let me think about it." >> Or you say, "Let me think about it." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your ego says, "I didn't ask you for this." God, find other people to go on with. Okay. Find other people. This says Tanya. The Reb says that all pain comes from amadesia not from amades gala which means it's a with the intimacy of which is beyond Caleb. God is like sharing with you secrets. You're saying share your secrets with somebody else. [laughter] I'm a simple guy. Okay. I just need a cup of coffee. Like share your secrets with somebody else. Just want to pay my mortgage and be normal. So that's a very good question. It's a good question. But you first have to ask your own what it knows about your life because you may be surprised because says it says in say that every agrees to everything that it goes through in life before that's writes it's based on that everything was created the gammor says I think everything was created based on its everybody agreed even animals everything everybody agreed to what's going to happen That's crazy stuff. Think about it. You'll say, "No, no, not me. I didn't agree to any of this." Do you know yourself? You find out who you are. Find out all your layers and then let's find out. You're not So, do you know all the layers of yourself? You got to open up. You got to crack open and let's see what your soul has to say about this. Don't just respond with your ego and your insecurity. We learned in many he brings a medish from Roose the says before he consulted the before Hashem created the world he consulted with somebody who the souls of sob asks I don't understand the souls were also created so what who did he consult with about creating the souls so thehat is that come from a place that's pre-briya because the soul is part of so he was consulting himself, so to speak, the part of himself that's going to become the nama. He consulted and the nama had to say, "God, I got this. We're good." Now, the says that means because in that space, everybody is a sad. It's not like a few people. So, [snorts] so in this state when when when I can't fit anything into the framework, I can just become very angry or cynical or this is an invitation for absolute surrender and say I don't need reasons. I really don't need reasons. This is what trust is. And this is what happened with Aramu by the really that's really the point. What happened by the really what happened? Aramu should have told Hashem this does not make sense. You know why? my whole life. What am I teaching? You don't slaughter children for gods. We don't do that. It's my whole life. I've been teaching it. Yuk was 37 according to Raman was 137 years old. Okay. So, more than a century I'm walking around every day giving classes and lectures that we don't slaughter kids. That's not what God wants. We don't do this. This my whole life. So now finally I'm reaching the height of my life. What what are you telling me to do? Kill your child. Really? How is that going to help anybody? [snorts] Not only that, I die. Who's continuing the tradition of yishkite? Only one man, not went to get another job. Huh. Until today. [laughter] Very good. Yeah. So there's only one person. It's didn't have you know 12 kids right one IS LOST THERE'S ANOTHER 11 children had 12 you don't have you have you have good with one boy now he's slaughtering him so what's that he's not having another child so this is it so you you said you're choosing me to create a new revolution in the world [laughter] and now you want me to take a sword and literally cut and sever the last the last hope for godliness in the world. IN OTHER WORDS, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT KILLING YOU. NO, I'm killing I'm killing God. Ni Ni could declare God is dead already. Then that's who I'm doing it. This does not make sense. This is what Abraham should say. Forget me personally. I'm a good I'm I'm I'm undoing the whole project. Huh? The once said that was a sign of that wasn't a sign of that. There was no there was no spiritual framework for this. I understand surrenderes growing truth in the world is you're finishing truth in the world. And then Abra is going to come home and his friends are going to say by the way where is and he's going to say oh I slaughtered him. Oh interesting why Hashem SAID [laughter] SO YOUR GOD IS LIKE ALL THE OTHER GODS. OKAY. FINALLY, THE CAT CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET. THE ZELUGA, THE SAME ABUSIVE, VINDICTIVE, nut job, pagan idol like everybody else. Fine. So what what are you screaming about? About about everybody else about the mik burning kids and the bowels. What you doing the same thing? [snorts] So the popularity of that religion is done. What's the answer to this question? The answer is that that was the there was no framework. [snorts] I once heard somebody say it's one of my teachers. He said, "What do you think happened by that?" He says, Hem sat down with and they learned together a page of [laughter] not it's not the it's in life everybody has things that don't fit into a framework. There's no framework for it. It's not like it's not workable. And that's the moment that you can go to a place of complete liberation. I can also go to a place of complete darkness and one can never judge anybody because it's not an easy test. I can either crack open the last vestage of ego and soar on the wings of eternity or I could refuse to do that because there's so much fear and loneliness and pain and then there is a bitterness or cynicism or depression and fear that sets in. And both make sense because it's the human fabric of creation and one could never be judgmental of this type of experience. So this highest level in mitzvah is really very relatable because every person in their life you know that invitation to crack open completely is ultimately a gift. >> Good question. You hear this question? BL is also dangerous because it can make a person not do anything. So there's two types of BL. The word BL needs to be defined. If BL brings somebody to become a couch potato and look like just like I'm nothing. Huh? >> A couch potato. [laughter] >> In in in Israel they have good words for it. [snorts] Um then you're right. Then it's not real BL. Then it's just mash real B means like we spoke the other day in when uh when milk falls into a pot of chalant. Yeah. So we say it's bashim. So what's bashim? There's so much meat that the milk is bottled. The milk is nullified. B because there's a ratio of 60 to1 has a lash. What is the milk is now? It's not that the milk assimilates. It's nothing. You're not going to eat milk. You're not eating milk. You're eating cholin. Sorry. It's just a drop of milk. It's much deeper than that. Because of the overpowering intensity and the quantity of the meat, it swallows up the milk that now the milk is actually it's part of the meat. You actually have more meat because of the milk. That's what real B is. So when it's a very important idea, right? B doesn't mean the milk is not here. It's here. It's just here as the flesh. So when you say bit to Hashem, what does it mean? Not that you're not here. You're bottle. You're nothing. What does it mean? You become Hashem. >> You're not a mistake. >> You're not a mistake. Your challenge is God's challenge. I'm now flying on his wings. Means you are Hashem. any other form of BL is abusive and it's not true. Real BL means that you matter in an infinite way and what you're going through is actually God's experience going through and there's no greater empowerment in the world all parts. of all parts. So even the challenge itself, it's almost like I surrender my separateness and now Hashem is going through this challenge through me. I am infinite consciousness having a human experience. I'm not finite consciousness dreaming about infinite experiences. I am infinite consciousness going through a very human experience which may be a very small experience or a very painful experience but it's infinite consciousness. So it really brings out the deepest creativity in people because it's like a a real you represent the if the here is infinite so the is infinite. So when you find that ble is dulling your creativity or your joy or your empowerment, it's a it's it's a fake BL that's using BL as a crutch for the ego or for the insecurity. It's like oh I'm nothing so you can't embarrass me. You know I'm nothing. It's like shiflo. It's like I'm nothing. I'm nothing. It's a way of repressing my pain and not dealing with it by saying I'm nothing. You know when husbands tell their wives, YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT. YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT. I'm always wrong. YOU ALWAYS YOUR WAY. IT'S THE ONLY WAY. IT'S THE ONLY WAY. And the deep hope is he'll be on the mat. They're going to write. I was at Kadar. I had no way, no desires, no priorities, nothing. I was deep down. What he wants is she's a maf. I'm a sadic. I'm the mater. Here's a stubborn stubborn. Right. It's not being said. What's being said is I don't need anything. Yo, you you you call the shots. I mean, I don't need anything. I'm going to sleep in the back of the pickup truck. That's where I'm going to sleep. It's fine. I don't even need a mattress. I don't need anything. You could put some straw. I'll sleep with the deer in the forest near Viola Park. really you're the mishuga. You're you're self-centered. You always get it your way. [laughter] So you have to be very careful. The word ble could be very very uh degraded and used as a defensive me as a defense mechanism. [snorts] >> It's it's it's when a person says I have no needs. I have no I have no priorities. That's not ble. B means understanding who you really are. That's it's a whole different experience. Is this need coming because of my truth, my authenticity, my divinity, or is it coming because of my brokenness and insecurity that I could work with? That's the that's the whole different experience. >> Huh? >> So, isn't it like remembering who who [snorts] you are and remembering the agreement that [clears throat] you signed? Exactly. >> Be aligned to that agreement. >> Yeah. >> Realign constantly. >> Remember the remember the agreement you made with Hashem. Not only the agreement, you're the one who reassured him. What does it mean? It's a fascinating idea. It's really a very daring idea and it comes from the medish. It's not a somewhere. It's in medus. It's like said it said it. You know, you're saying you want to open up a company. So you sit down with Yidim with experts or you want to open up a high-tech company. You want to open up an AI company. You want to you sit down with people who are experts who have experience who have failed who know what it means to dabble in such money and you discuss it with them. Huh? Yeah. So soam here has a project. It's called creation of the universe. It's a pretty big big project as we know. [laughter] It's been going on for a long time and he needs a consultation. So that itself seems heretical. Niml really there's a there's a committee where God has a board who there's a gab. I thought God doesn't have gabo. I thought gaboam we have to deal with in this world over there. There's no gaboam anymore. Huh? There's a committee. Wait wait wait wait. It's not so simple. Who's the committee there? >> Who's on the board there? Yeah. What did they give him to be on the board down here? What it takes? But what what happened over there? Those are the words. Nobody himself. >> Yeah. So So what you're saying is the person in this moment, you know, you take a deep breath and you recommmit to that agreement that you made and that you're making. [snorts] But we just have to say one thing and that is just important in the name of uh you know just to be real that sometimes the pain of something is so deep that a person can't just say I agree wholeheartedly there's a deep pain [snorts] so the agreement comes also with a lot of pain with a lot of tears with a lot of grief but that's not a contradiction it just actually means that you are doing it the right way as a human being with the human experience The grief is because you're a human being who doesn't see the full picture. So the surrender comes also with the fact that it's a human being surrendering. And the human touch is what's creating the grief. And that is as important as the surrender. Yeah. And and and and that and and you agree to that too. [laughter] You you agree to that too. You agree to that too. That's in other words that that's an important part of it. When somebody says, "Okay, just smile. Everything is perfect. Everything is perfect. If you t that frequency says he doesn't understand what it means to thank Hashem for bad things like good things because he never had a bad day in his life. So there's a frequency of complete vas. The definition of of bliss is dus says I never even registered that there was something not like that. But if somebody is a human being who's experiencing the pain that experience is part of what they agreed that is part that's the human experience. That's a means I'm a human being. I'm not an angel. It means that I may have had a dream that was shattered or there's something that's very very painful. It's touching the heart. It's it's piercing through the heart and that itself is part of the experience. It's not you surrender and therefore that goes away. That is part of the surrender. Yeah. You're feeling that and you're surrendering with it. Yeah. That that's all part of the relationship. That itself is an essential part of the relationship. It's important to emphasize that because you know we often to go here and then you forget this and then you beget you get judgmental of yourself and there's no need for guilt and shame and judgmentalism. All the parts are part of it. All the parts we're doing very well to be able to really accept that to be able to accept that. So this was all inspired by Rabbi Oliver's question. Yeah. Why he discusses here the high levels of mitzvah when there's really lower levels. But the real point is that even the highest level here, it's called level, but it's not really level. It's really touching something that's relatable to everybody when there's no framework for things. This is what becomes the most valuable reality. And I'm going to say one last thing. This one last thing. I don't know if some of you will all of you will relate to this or not. Just I know this from my own personal experience. And that is and in this in this level this I'm calling it level. It's not really level. It's it's just like the the it's it's it's reality. It's at the core of reality. At this moment, you when you touch this, you realize that you don't need a reason. Not because you're not logical, but because there's really no reasons over there. In other words, even if we have the most amazing reasons in the world, they can take us higher and higher and higher and higher, but all of them at some point fall short. They they they reach a stumbling block. They hit they hit a brick wall. There's a place where reality is really not based on logic. It's only only based on trust. So you'll say, "But why should I trust it? Why?" And the answer is nobody could tell you to trust it. You can't. If I'm telling you to trust somebody, it's already not good. It's that deep, deep down in the soul, you have a visceral experience and awareness that you could trust us. that in this space everything is okay. Everything is perfect. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed TO BE. BUT BUT BUT GREAT QUESTIONS. No need to demonize questions or make believe they don't exist. It's not that I don't ask because there's no question. It's because you're in a space of trust that transcends questions and even transcends answers. To put it simply that everyone said in a about remember real amuna means a question won't weaken it and an answer won't strengthen it. If you're not in that frequency it's fine but that's not the frequency of amuna. Amuna is not I believe even though there's questions but of course if you have an answer it'll make it much better. No that's not amuna. That's that's philosophy. You have a question it makes it weaker. You have an answer makes us stronger. Amuna is an experience of the core of the soul experiencing a answer will not actually help me. [laughter] It's nice to have answers in the world of logic. I don't mind an answer. Great. We'll put it somewhere in the in the files. We'll put the answer and we'll we'll take it out when we need it to. But in the trust and in the relationship, the answer doesn't add anything because the question didn't take away from it. So what is it based on? And the answer is it's based on the fact that And it feels and it experiences and it is it sees it. It perceives it. It it's it. And therefore when it's it knows that when everything else falls away, it can just trust fully. We come from radical infinite love. We go back to radical infinite love. And when we're here in this world, we can choose radical infinite love. And that's the this the death is talking about here. And that's the mitzvah that the sadikim were talking about. It was the simka that came from the relationship and that was their big deepest simka the simka that comes the bliss that comes from real ble in that ble there is always tremendous bliss why why is there so much bliss if you don't understand to say I have an answer is going to be defeating the purpose but I'm going to say a few words it's just important to to put into words I think and that is because hashem is the source of bliss The more we strip away our separateness and we merge into oneness with oneness, there is bliss over there. It's not like why is it blissful? What? There's a roller coaster in heaven. This cotton candy. Hashem is the source of all bliss. Separateness is the source of all misery. Remember that Hashem is the source of all bliss. Separatess is the source of all anxiety. No anxiety in the world has ever existed or will ever exist that is not rooted in separateness from source. All anxiety is separateness from source. All anxiety. There's no other anxiety. >> Forgetting the agreement. >> Forgetting the agreement. investing in a reality that doesn't really exist that's separate from source and all the failures and expectations and disappointments live over there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not in the mission anymore. All anxiety is that the says in we say it every day in his space there's confidence and there's joy is confidence. like this joy. He's the source of all the all the bliss. So the more I go away from separateness, the more I melt the ego, the more I merge into oneness. In other words, the deeper the BL automatically, the more joy, the more bliss, the more you'll see it. And by the way, that's how you know the two types of B. The B that makes you a will not bring you more joy. It will make you more like leave me alone. I hate you guys. How did I end up in this crazy system? The BL that brings you into relationship with where you become Hashem. There's no greater sim than that. It's like, oh wow, this is pretty cool. And it's an internal it's an internal sense of not being burdened. You're not burdened anymore. You don't have anybody to live up to. You're not here to impress anybody. All the anxiety in the world is because of a disassociation with the source. So either I'm trying to impress you or I'm trying to impress myself or I'm responding to guilt or to shame. What? Think about any anxiety you have in your life, right? >> Huh? >> What about Goya? >> This is about everybody. There's the Goya inside of us. This is about everybody. >> Huh? [snorts] You come from Benra, huh? >> Everybody. This is the sevil of the whole world. is not just uh Ben and everybody needs >> even [laughter] I don't know if the word religious divine divine divine alignso [snorts] all the se of Gam is also this is the anxiety of of existence. The anxiety of existence is separation from source and then everything that happens after that >> you can't fake the >> you can never fake bit because you speak to your nervous system and say are you very calm you'll know right away. >> Yeah. When I was a kid I started to pull the hair out of my head at a very young age. What is it called? Trickle. Uh what's the word for it? Uh, huh? Tratilamania. Yeah, I didn't know the word then. I still don't know the word. Yeah, in those days they spoke much less about anxiety. [laughter] This is the 1970s. I mean, some people spoke about anxiety, but at least where I came from, it wasn't part of the dictionary, right? It took me years to understand. I still don't fully understand that my body was telling me that there's an anxiety inside of me. And the only way for it to talk about that anxiety was through this destructive habit of pulling out my hair. And it wasn't conscious. I mean, it was conscious, but it was like uh compulsive. There was something the body desperately needed either as a protest or as an outlet or maybe distracting one pain with another pain, whatever the psychological framework for that is. Yeah. And whenever a person is suffering from an anxiety including myself deep deep down there's a certain core shame that I was experiencing and all core shame is I don't know who I am. I'm I'm this I'm in in my at least in my own messaging there's a disconnect and the substitute self is not doing the job. Right? Right? So, you always have to ask yourself if you're not suffering from anxiety, just make sure it's not coming because you numbing it and you substituted it with something that is not allowing you to feel it because that's not taking it away. It's just distracting it with something very powerful and therefore it's going to come back one day with a vengeance. And that's why a lot of solutions that people look for, it comes back to haunt them because there's only one solution to all anxiety. It's called bitt. I've tried many years to find other solutions. Trust me, I didn't come to this initially. Bittl is not the first bus bus stop that I chose. It's actually the last one because it's not something you want to go to. No, it's not bit. Let me figure out something is bothering me, right? But the truth is you could figure out a lot of things and they may be helpful to a certain degree. But deep deep deep down if you're not going to get to the place of ble the anxiety is always going to come back in one form or another because you didn't deal with the core of the infection. There's a band-aid another band-aid another band-aid. Some band-aids work. Sometimes they're even good. Sometimes they're even good. Maybe short term. Whatever. It's fine. But at the core of everything is who I am. Who I am in my core. And this is not words. It's an experience. It's not words. There's no words that can be said to help somebody experience this. I could speak for another 9,000 hours about this. I have spoken about it for 9,000 hours. Doesn't help. It's all about experience because this the anxiety is not words. It's not like you the anxiety didn't come in through words. It's not going to go out through words. You know, in in in the way it came in, that's how it goes out. If the anxiety came in through words, maybe it can go out through words. It definitely come in through words. It came in through some type of messaging system that's preverbal usually. So how is it going to go out? It's not going to go out through words. It's not going to go through another lecture. The lectures are good. The sh are good. But it's not going to take out the anxiety. It's a cosmic condition. It's the cosmic condition. It's going back to it's going back to the original. What's the agreement I made with God? And did I go away from that? Because if I went away from that, I'm living a false life. I'm living a wrong a wrong life. Who I think I am and who I am are not the same person. So who am I really? Not who I think I am. Not who you think I am, not who other think I should be or I think I should be or I was trained to think I should be. Those are all recipes for absolute anxiety. >> Well, yeah. A what's a real sad? A real saddic is somebody who can mirror to you who you are. That's the definition of a real sadic. A real saddic is somebody who's doing this work constantly and therefore when they see you, they can actually see you and they can help you see yourself, right? When you speak about his you also have to be careful with that. The same idea of it's a sadic who's really showing you who you are. >> Not a substitute. not a substitute and not an agenda. I mean that's not a sad right sometimes if there's an agenda here it becomes worse because now you give up your last independence and this was your hope and really you're being hijacked so it's a very very sensitive thing right that's what I said last time from what he told alterba see that's how speaks to a reb that level of honesty think today somebody telling that to the rebba you deserve it and this was the alterba you understand this was this was Alterba one of the greatest souls in history [snorts] and this is what his told him imagine speaking like that but just understand if he couldn't speak like that to alterba what type of could he be it's not like said okay you spoke to me this way we're done not only that somebody had to tell over the story who told over the story I assume it wasn't alter it was probably that means he wasn't even embarrassed with himself unless Unless alterba I don't in other words we we got the story from one of the two nobody else was there they were hiding right so one of the two had to tell the story who told the story I don't know maybe it could be loved it so much what he said could be he said it over because the truth is it came from the heard it from the who heard it from the reb who heard it from his father heard from the probably heard it from unless he heard from I don't know it doesn't say where huh [snorts] huh it's in the it's in the diary of the that he heard from his father and he heard from the heard from the man who heard from who was who was uh who was around. So uh so but the fact that he could speak like that that's the that's what allows a real relationship. If I cannot tell you everything, what type of connection is there going to be? Trust, you know, trust. This is the deepest thing about you know, we learn trust in terms of like a commandment. You have to trust. That's not trust. Trust is something that you need to be able not even you need to. The word need, I have to get rid of that. Trust is something that your nervous system experiences. Yeah. You know it. is not an intellectual thing. It says that Hashem is XYZ blah blah all this 10 things and then 20 things and 30 things and therefore don't be an idiot. Trust the words don't be an idiot, you're not trusting anymore. The guy who says don't be an idiot, you don't trust that guy. You know what I mean? Uh trust me, trust me. You know when people tell you a story and they say trust me I'm not lying. [laughter] Why do you think I think you were lying? Huh? You know people tell the story. It's a true story. I'm not lying. Really? Why? Before that you the story before was a lie. >> People say to be honest >> to be honest with you to be very honest with you. So so what the point here is so it's a very very in intimate internal internal experience. Okay. We could learn a little inside I hope. Yeah. At least a permanut. I don't want to next time say we're holding but this is uh this is very very uh >> there is more [laughter] should I tell you I'm telling you I tried a lot of other things besides b I tried I tried a lot of other things in haza you're not taught b right in ephabah doesn't come with like BL it's it's a it's real it's it it takes BL to come to this place I didn't even I can't even give myself credit by the way I didn't even do it voluntarily [laughter] no in other words it was the desperation of nothing else working it's not it wasn't even voluntary it's not like wow I reached I didn't reach anything it's literally life pushes you in a corner and you try everything and nothing is really working. >> The truth is it's a it's a kindness. It's a kindness. >> Ah, >> exactly. That's true. That's true. Says the snake was cursed, right? You're going to eat dust sand your entire life the greatest blessing in the world. You don't have to go to sha for food. You don't need y breakfast, lunch, dinner, afar. All the other animals are always a whole day they're looking for food. You ever see them? If you can eat afar, your meals are always available. So what's the curse? He says the curse is you will never even once have to think that maybe there's a creator because everything is available. He says there's no greater curse in the world. There's no greater curse in the world where your life is so perfect that you will never ever have to challenge anything in your ego. That's there's no bigger cla in the world. Everything is available. Everything is perfect. So you're right about that. It's a very powerful I think I saw it in one of his that's the [snorts] so sometimes what we think is the greatest curse is the greatest blessing it's not working amazing so you could find the truth you don't have to live in a lie the truth of being cracked open what a what what a what a blessing you know you remember we learned the greatest shameful experience in the world is the second the soul leaves the body and you see everything with Whenever you say I think when I say in the morning right you come and imagine in a split second you see that the whole reality I lived in was pure lies that inner shame there's there's no replacement for it and what's a greater kindness than at least knowing that that there's something to be cracked open you know that I'm living in an egg and and if the egg cracks open there's a whole different reality but in the bust In the bus stops that we search for in life, there's a lot of different things. I thought I'll be successful. I'll get validation. I'll be famous. I'll be have this and that. I'll do good things. But ultimately, it did not uh it did not match up. It [snorts] did not cut it as they say in English. And once you taste even for a millisecond the experience that Alba talks about in every mimer, it's checkmate. You know right away >> is it probably tasted all the time and just fall back. >> Of course my animal soul has fakus. The animal soul always will yeah it's not transformed. It has fus. It says oh here you go again on your trips. Fine. But if I sit with myself and I go a little deeper I know I I I I felt it. What we spoke when we speak about the important of feeling your own experiences. Like we often taught not to trust your feelings but that's the only thing we have. >> [snorts] >> Your nervous system knows the truth. It's feeling it. It experiences it. I know that I'm sitting on a chair. Just to tell people not to trust any feelings is also very abusive. That's ultimately the litmus test for truth that we have. A hashem is the biggest lickmas test. If you're feeling a hashem, if you're feeling inner simka, [snorts] Part of part of part part of one of my my struggles was that I learned so much that not to trust yourself that I stopped trusting my emotions because we learned that we learned that there's there you know there's a there's a that's MS everything else is and therefore you stop trusting yourself but really it becomes a recipe for disaster because just using it in a wrong way. Of course this terrace ms and of course all my feelings are not authentic and of course not every instinct of mine is holy. It's extremely important to know that but ultimately is about integrating. It's about coming into yourself not going away from yourself. This was my my talk to the women this week from I heard from the when told unbelievable idea. So Mosha should have said I'm out of this. If Hashem is telling me I'm not getting involved, I'm also not getting involved. Why did he even think of doing it? And the Reb said that what Mosha heard in the words was actually a tremendous vote of confidence that there comes a point in life where God says, "I'm not mixing in because I trust you. You got this. Figure it out." It's a whole opposite approach. Ah, wow. You trust me, right? That that's it. And he said I remember I heard this from the he said he said there's two one is and one is and one is much deeper means I don't trust myself. So God tell me what you want and I'll do it. The said there's something deeper. He trusts you that you could work yourself out to the point that your desire is the divine desire. that if this is what my inner inner nervous system is telling me to do, I can trust that this is what God wants. It was a life-changing insight. I never thought of I never heard that. We always taught don't trust yourself. Don't trust yourself. Don't trust yourself. It's a hurry. It's a hurry. It's And it's true. There's a lot of good there's a lot of truth to that. In the secular liberal world, you trust everything you want. So today I'm a woman. Today I decided I'm a woman. Jacobson is a woman. Right. Trust me. Right. The BL is important. Like it's really what kept the Jewish people going. We still have we still have a moral value system because not everybody just wakes up in the morning and today I'm getting divorced cuz I want to get divorced. >> But what the taught then was that's not the don't think that's the pinnacle of hiddite. It's important. It's like a scafia. It's very very important. And here we're learning that it's important also that even after you understand everything, there's the BL that's higher than everything. But in that process, there's another thing that's very important. And that is God says, I don't think you're a robot. I think we can be partners. Or to put it differently, if you agreed to this whole project, so you probably have a lot of interesting things to contribute to the project. So let's hear what you have to say. I was 16 years old and this was a life-changing moment for me. I didn't even know how life-changing, but when I heard it, I knew. I'm like, "Wow, this is powerful." And it was a day before my birthday, too. With Shabas 1989, [snorts] how many years ago is that? 37 years ago. I was 16 years old. I just became 60. >> Takes 40 years to understand what your Reb taught, right? Not 40 years yet, but getting there and he started a few minutes into this the first talk. [snorts] Shabas test the 28th day of 1989. Shabas. So the came into the he started off the first talk he spoke about then he went into the parish and he asked this question says this year is the same date I'm not telling you to do it if you want to do it. So the Reb then asked the question. He says doesn't make sense because till now anything that Mosha asked, Hashem told him what to do or what not to do or told him what to do. Here's the first time ever that he asks him a question and he says keep me out of this. You want to do it. I'm not telling you to do it. Mos asked about Pes, right? The people couldn't make a carbon p they would tell me. Hashem said what to do. Later he asked about Hashem said what to do. Sometimes Moshe did things on his own but God didn't object. He broke the lus on his own. God said after but most things Hashem told him and he did or he asked and he told him here first time he's like God you want to invest. No no no no no I'm staying away. So what should have Misha done? I'm also staying away. The Jews are pressuring. Tough luck. I'm out of this. I'm done. He goes along. He goes ahead with it. Usually the question always on the parish is how the miracle made such a mistake. How the people made such a mistake. But here the question was when Hashem said remember the said should have smelled that this is trouble and he goes ahead with it. That's that's the next part of the that's not such a cynical question. It's a good question. Who [snorts] taught you to say that it's a cynical question? The Reba asked this asked this himself in the second half of the >> It's not a sin. It's a very good question. I had it as I told the woman as when the Reb asked this question, he answered with such a and I appreciated the question so much that I was thinking to myself, I should have I should have not, but that was the fact. I'm like, there's no way your answer is going to be as good as your questions. [laughter] the question is too good. Whatever you do, we all have we've heard questions. We've heard answers and sometimes you say the question was better than the answer. You know what I mean? It's like fine. That's what I was thinking. But I have to say that the proved me wrong because he didn't stop answer the question. He he gave a whole new he said that for Mosha this actually was a sim. He said when Mosha heard this he broke into a huge sim because he felt that Hashem was giving him a new path in Yiddish that was not given till now. Till now the path of it was and now the was it's not a mixing out because it's horrible. It's because you got this because I trust you. You you are equipped. You have it inside of you. I trust you. So Misha didn't run away from it. He said this is not my responsibility. Comes a time God says trust yourself. I trust you. Trust yourself. You have an inner knowing. You have an inner knowing. Now comes Abshaw and says he wants to ask a cynical. It's not a cynical question. It's a great question and that is look what happened. Look what happens when you trust yourself. [laughter] Right? Gavald question. You trusted yourself and what happened? YOU CREATED A CATASTROPHE. SO THE LESSON OF SCHLACK SHOULD be never trust yourself right >> or opposite that's exactly what that worker wanted and your mistake is part of the process >> acceptance >> in other words that's part of the price you pay for trust you're going to make mistakes and that's also part of the plan >> so when the That's what it sounded he was saying when he edited it to middle of the week. He added another piece in writing and [snorts] that is that it made it a little even more gushmak and that is he said Mosha's plan was actually exactly it was a perfect plan his was perfect the miragalim on the way decided that they have a new mission their mission from Misha was to come back and tell the Jews what's the best way of conquering the land what's the most effective way they decided that they have the authority to decide whether we're going into or not going into they changed their mission and in that process they weren't anymore his representatives they changed their if I send somebody a to be mad to give whatever it is and he decides he has a better option [laughter] he's not a anymore as long as You're at some point they decided Roosevelt sent Eisenhower to defeat Hitler. If Eisenhower would come back and say Hitler is not defeatable, we all surrendering to Germany. That's what the miraal we're grasshoppers. This was not this was already they were and now was a whole different matas. In other words, in other words, trust yourself, but there's always one condition. The self that you're trusting, does it see itself as an ambassador of infinity? If this if the self that you're trusting sees itself as a grasshopper, pause before you trust. You see, trust yourself. Of course, trust yourself. But if I'm looking around, I'm a grasshopper. There's no way I can do it. I'm frightened. Everybody's going to beat me. No, no. This this pause now. Now you Now you Now we need a re a re uh a remake, a readjustment. So they completely deviated. They lost it. This is where the Laita can go sour, right? This is always that you have to understand. >> Very good. They trusted their anxiety, not their divinity. Beautiful. It's almost as good as uh hex t-shirts. They trusted their anxiety, not their divinity. Very good. Is I trust you. You know why? Cuz you're a part of me. Cuz we're in it together. You could trust yourself. When you know you could trust yourself and you know what that self looks like. If you've never tasted your higher self, [snorts] then you need then it's true. You need That's why people have such a hard time with the idea of trusting themselves, right? People sometimes, somebody once wrote to me that in your classes, you talk about people trusting themselves. Do you realize if I would trust myself, I would do horrible, horrible things. And if my kids trust themselves, they're going to do horrible things. And if generally people trust themselves, they're going to wreak havoc. >> That shows how much they trust. [laughter] >> Right? Very good. And I get it. Sometimes in in yeshivas or or or or schools, there's such a mistrust for the students because you're afraid if you, God forbid, let them do things on their own, they're going to destroy the building, they're going to destroy their lives. So you keep them, you know, like cows on a yoke to be able to plow so that everything is safe. And at first glance, it looks very beautiful because everything looks safe. The problem is the moment they have a little independence, their levels of disappointment or frustration or rebellion are so profound. So right, so people get very upset. So what's the opposite? So just let everybody do whatever they want. But the truth is this is where we have it wrong because we don't really understand who people are. We only know about people's anxieties, about people's insecurities, about people's animal consciousness, about people's templates of survival, coping mechanisms, and it's true. But there's also a self that is infinite. That's what you want to help people get to. They should see it. And once they see it, there's no unseeing it. Once you know this part of yourself, there's no unseeing it. It's there forever. You know, you know who you are. You know what makes you feel good. You know what touches you in your deepest space. You know what brings out your deepest creativity, emotion, love. You know what opens your heart. You just know it. And then it's it's done. You're you're a different person. But I guess if people never felt it in themselves, they don't feel that they could see it in other people. Okay. I want to learn mamish for five minutes and then we'll take a break. We'll learn till the end of the paragraph. Mish 5 minutes. So says that the biggest mitzvah is the sim of the mitzvah itself. the of the mitzvah itself the is the deepest that's the deepest page 77 says it says we say it many people say it when they put on their talisma dawn he wraps himself with with lightma like a tunic, like a coat. A salsa is a shirt. We put on a shirt or a coat and Hashem puts on light on himself. He garbs himself with light. So refers to So this means that the light of is a salma. It's a garment for what? What's being dressed up in the Tyra mitzvah? The is a it's a for the mitzvah that are being enclosed inside the What does this mean? It says in comes it's Hashem's wisdom inside that something is dressed up. Thema is a lavush. What is it a lavush for? It's a lavush for desire. The divine desire is in the salma in the tunic in the in the coat which is the source of all the mitzvah even the given to us the we learn because exists on many levels there's a here there's a tra of a higher world's higher higher but even the in our world whether you're learning learning nigla or you're learning nigla means the part of that's more concrete and revealed which includes of course the whole and all the and then later the and all the that's called the which deals mostly with and then you have the the concealed part both parts of the fact is they have a common denominator. Take a look at any title. What is it basically doing? It's discussing mitzvah. It's a it's an explanation commentary for all the mitzvah for example. take it's a whole and then you have yeah the on it and then you have the on it and then you have and you have all the till today what is it from the first till the end it's a on the mitzvah of on the mitzvah how what does it mean to suk it says in what's a suk do you make a roof of glass do you have even a roof Is it a kaziba? What is it? What's a suk? I don't know. Doesn't say it says bisuk. It's a heart. What is that? So the whole the first all the way through explains to you what is mitzvah take what's explaining all the carbonus is explaining all the says about it. It's in but all this is an explanation on it. the details, the reasons, the conditions, the things that disqualify it, how to do it, what not to do, the times, the place, the locations, the people, all the ingredients. Any says, the same is true in it's not going to be the technicalities, how to build a suka or the technicalities, how to bring the carbon, how to bring the min. It's going to be the nister of it, the the spiritual dimension of it, the metaphysical dimension of it, the emotional dimension of it, but it's going to be discussing a mitzvah. It could be or it could be shabas, it could be pes or it could be but it's always discussing a mitzvah. What does this mean? This means that the whole is for the mitzvah. That's what it means. It means just like a garment. You're being dressed up in the garment. The TA is basically dressing up. The TA is basically channeling and expressing and bringing out the mitzvah, explaining it, giving commentary to it, getting into the details. The mitzvah themselves, that's pure will. This is the opportunity to access to give a flow of the light of infinity down here through the mitzvah which make up 620 in Kabala you have 620 pillars of light why they called pillars a pillar connects the roof to the ground so every mitzvah is that connects but it's down Here I want to give you my how do I give it to you? Hashem says I want to give you my infinity, my purity. How do I give it to you? Everybody is a limited person with a limited brain, a limited heart. So this is the mitzvah. Every mitzvah is another pillar of light. 620 pillars of light that connect heaven to earth. meaning that in your life you're given I will dwell among them inside of them not is the wisdom limits and shrinks it's it confines and gives the parameters how the will be how to make this dra how this hashra will be how the will dwell in you for example you have a mitzvah of and then you have the explanation of it what's the explanation of how do you make a mishna starts off if a is higher than 20 it's possible what are you saying that if you put this higher than 20 there's no there's no or the first mission The shadow has to be more than the sun. If there's more sun coming into the than the shadow, again, it's not a good. The whole taida what is it? The ta is packaging it's channeling it's uh structuring structuring this pure how it can come into this world and that's why he says it's with it's with that's why it's a garment it's channeling it through this garment that's the wisdom of hashem that this flow of happens through this so it limits of only in the way that the says the ratson is going to be channeled Finayas I want to put on fill in that are that are circles. What's the difference? Same paras same. No it's not fill you. There's no fill in there. Why not? What's the big deal? It's a difference if it's round or square. But that's one of the 10 things about filling. The brings fill is you need square small or big but you need square bottom orus. What's wrong if I have red ruis? Red is such a bad color or blue ruis. The answer is it's blacker to us. The puts the blood here. The puts the blood there. He has this that this. It's possible. What's the difference? Who cares? That's why is called food for the soul. It says your is in my stomach. What does it mean in my stomach? It's a metaphor. Food is not around you. It's inside of you. The is your food becomes part of your bloodstream. The whole idea of that you can integrate inside your soul. Your soul gets it. The whole of is it's learning about the ways, the methods, the channels, the filters and the limits of how to access through the mitzvah whether it's nigla or nister which is what they learn in gaden. In other words, there's the of nigla which is telling you how to access the through the physical properties of the mitzvah. The suka has to be like this and not like this. The has to be like this and not like this. The have to be like this and not like this. The has to be like this or not like this. The has to be like this or not like this. That's a nigler. And the same as a nister nister also. It's just nister is not the concrete physical details. It's what is the energy of the mitzvah but it's this energy. It's not that energy. It's opening yourself up to what is the divine energy that is communicated through this mitzvah. What's the maka? What's the mindset? What's the internal mida I'm working on? This is but it's the same. This is the that channels it and filters it and restricts it. It gives it a particular modality and structure of how you whether it's you go to the mikvah. There's the of what a mikvah has to be to be this is the of no how much they have to dip whatever it is how you dip where what part of the body it has to go into where the water comes from then there's the of the says the letters is habit hey bes is habit what's the kavan of mikvah the kavan of mikvah is alistister what's mikvah in ganeden in ganed they don't have the hot mikvah over here 110°. So what's a mikvah? What's a mikvah? [laughter] A mikvalen is pure ble the energy of b. That's the nister of mikvah. What what what what is the kavana of b? That's also in tells you what mikvah is whether it's niggler or nister. The same is with every single mitzvah in the world. Davening this is the niggl of davening, right? You say these words, you have this and then there's the nist of ding. Most by ding it's much more mixed up because the whole ding is nister because ding is a major part of ding. But all mitzvah has these two elements. There's eating and eating. [snorts] But the mitzvah itself this is not food. This doesn't come into the this always stays. So the is a garment for the which is beyond it because it can't be contained inside the soul. There's a footnote from the but he finishes here the last the last four lines from this paragraph. The of the of the is a garment which is the the highest level. Only by being an will you become Lee. Will you become me? Will you become infinite? You would think the opposite. An means you're the furthest. No. Literally, everybody tites because they are servants to me. He says, "No, ONLY WHEN YOU'RE AN EV ARE YOU lee because that's complete B." What's saying here? The same vert. He's just bringing it out in a DIFFERENT WAY. THE CORE of the mitzvah is nothing that you can eat. It can't become part of you because it's pure infinity. If you would feel experience the core of the mitzvah, you wouldn't exist. The is the lush. It's the package of the mitzvah. It structures the mitzvah. That's what is. It's the that channels the so every mitzvah at its core is just what is I desire. Whose eye and that's the gift of the mitzvah. And that's why the deepest way you could do a mitzvah is I don't need a reason. No reason you. But then there is the lavush of mitzvah. The packaging of the mitzvah. That's what t is t isma and that's why it's called salma. It's the garment. The ta you can eat you can digest everybody on their level. Niggla higher level a higher level. You got a deeper layer deeper layer. And then there's the of the mitzvah. That's like the the the DNA the rat that's inside the that's the pure the is a packaging. It's a lv for it. And there's so many levels of that. And over there from there comes the experience of the mitzvah. understanding of the mitzvah the appreciation of the mitzah according to nigla according to nister but it doesn't take away and it doesn't compromise or dilute the real beyond all of that which is not something I can digest in my pious it stays makif not because it's not connected to me because it's a connection that if you digest it in your pimus you're you're you're dumbing it down you're reducing it to your experience of it and that's the through the you become lee you leave your own mitas And now you're mit that's what real B is and that's the the real mitzvah the of the there's no greater than the B because in that B you become him and he's the source of all bliss and that's why in there is the greatest bliss. So when you speak about reasons for mitzvah that's essentially the word means reason the word means flavor. Yeah, they say in Hebrew and when you speak about what's the time to is reason and it's also flavor. Reason gives you flavor. Every reason gives you a flavor. Aishmak you get it. How much do you get it? Depends what soul you're from. There's getting it in there getting it in. There's getting it in bri's getting IT IN AT HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER. BUT IT'S ALL STARTS OFF WITH WHAT rats and rats is higher than anything. No reason can even can even get it because it's beyond reason. Logic was also created. The logic is a lavush for the so that's why never get stuck in the lavush. The lavush you need the you need because pure is infinite. And that's why we don't have many limitations of mitzvah. It's in it's in also in because that's the element of the element of is it channels into aum that we can relate to but really at its core it's pure and the is what channels it in a way that we can digest it an interesting thing I'll just finish with this it's very gishmak the rama has a calledim in the third section of The Rambam has reasons for all the mitzvah. He goes through the mitzvah. He gives reasons. [snorts] The Rambam has a lot of interesting reasons like Kbanus. He has his famous reason why we do Kbanus because people would slaughter other human beings and God wanted to uh train the Jewish people to become more normal. So he said start killing animals not people. This was a way of maturing them. He has a lot of reasons like that. The Ramban Ramban argues with them the because the smell in the bdish was very bad. There were a lot of people who argued with a lot of the reasons of the Rambam. It's interesting. There's one mitzvah that the Rambam says he has no reason for it. The upon him they had the 12 loaves of bread a whole week in the B of Mik. The would eat it on Shabas and then they would replace it with two two with a new set of bread. They would eat the next Shabas. And says ain't dua. He wrote it in Arabic but we have the Hebrew translations. He says for this there's no reason. We don't have a reason. It's strange because from all the mitzvah is not the strangest mitzvah in the world. Let's face it. Okay, you put bread on the table and the made ate it every it's true. It was old bread. That's that's true. Thei says that the parish was making fun that a king eats cold bread that God is interested in cold bread. Okay, but it's bread. Everybody has bread. What's the big deal? A lot of people use Mishna. They have 12 breads. And not only that in you have reasons for upon it says the source of of bread in the whole world came from the BD the source of you have reasons says ain't now found reasons for everything. I told you he finds interesting reasons and here he says I once heard from Khan [snorts] he said he s and I think I found it I think it's in the ishit of bak I think maybe I saw it over there years later says a fascinating thing there's a there's a poem that wrote for Shabas yeah a famous niggan put it into the to say the only he put in was from Friday night and Friday over there has a line it's may he reveal to us the reason of the 12 loaves of bread says I would love to know the reason of 12 loaves of bread. So here you have a fascinating thing in the world and are completely opposed. The first person to say thatim is really the same level of emis like kabala was he always trying to reconcile the ra with KABAL BUT TRADITIONALLY DON'T GO there the ra was philosophy philosophy philosophy kabala is kabala kabala two different worlds but there's one mitzvah upon him that says he doesn't know the reason and says he doesn't know the reason so from here you see something very deep and that is I remember when told us He said also it's not like people think that made up reasons. No, no, no. The reasons of begin with and then they come down, they evolve is infinity. Then there's the way comes down INTO AND THEN THERE'S in this world in this world would be why should you keep what's the logical? And the answer is it's very good for a couple to have space. [laughter] That's a very very reason right all the reasons people give why should you keep shabas and the answer is to be 24 hours off your cell phone is a very healthy thing in life you can even talk to your psychologist and he'll agree beautiful reasons kashus hygiene and the way the animal dies with less anxiety AND STRESS ALL THESE NICE EXPLANATIONS that barb Banell loves these explanations. These are all explanations. So it's not how do you know it's because it's really it's the way the comes down into but it's the same of the highest. How do you see it? When has no reason has no reason but it's two completely different worlds. And of course the lived hundreds of years after the but the point is you see here that the didn't just give reasons because he needed to squeeze out and find a reason. That's where you see that is it's just a different it's it's not so simple because was was for generations very controversial and a lot of people were afraid of because takes an approach that's you know very different style than many other and many other but here you see the em. Only reason there's a tom of upon him down here is a tom up there. The reason says I don't know the reason says I also don't know the reason. So that's what is saying here is that all of a s it's the way it comes down lower lower but it's always a on the mitzvah. What's the mitzvah itself? The mitzvah itself is that's higher than Tom. Why is it higher than Tom? Not because there's no tom and it's because not not in the mitzvah. It's the most powerful thing of the mitzvah. After that you have the rats and coming into. Now the question is how many layers of did Hashem give it? We have we have mishbatim. We have adis right inim the layers of reason are less are less intense or they're less formulated in mishbatim. They come down even more. But that's all the second phase. The first phase is the of the mitzvah which is okay to finish the mimer on Monday. Everybody have a beautiful beautiful day. >> This class [music] is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. [music] Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.