What triggers you vs what inspires you: choose your lens

So many couples come in trying to figure out what their triggers are thinking that if they can identify the triggers and why they're happening, they can minimize them or reduce them. But they end up paying a lot of attention to themselves and the problems that they have and that gets exaggerated. And if they would have put as much attention on what inspires them, on what brings them peace, on what brings them hope, they'd either get triggered less often or when they get triggered they'd be more equipped internally to actually deal with it.