What's with All the Tests? - Rabbi Eliezer Zeytouneh

Shout out to everybody watching. Thank you so much for joining us everybody. With that being said, we hope that you enjoy tonight's class and you find it to be very inspiring. It's a class that I think everybody, everybody has got the ear. Shavuot is 2 weeks away. 2 weeks away. You know, the rabbi's right. Be'ezrat Hashem. Rabbi's right that on Shavuot, when Benei Yisrael accepted the Torah, they were healed from all their ailments. All the ailments, the pain, all the handicaps, all the flaws went away. All disappeared. Baruch Hashem Rofeh Cholim. That's why the rabbi's right. The Torah is a refuah. It is a refuah. It heals a person. Now, it's wonderful. So, the rabbi's right. It's a very big segulah to pray for a refuah on Shavuot. Unbelievable. However, the rabbi's also right that when a person accepts upon himself something, in Shamayim, they consider it as if it was already done. So, therefore, if tonight, right now, as I sit in this class, I take upon myself to accept the Torah in its entirety, without fragments, without saying, "You know what? This part is not for me." But, I accept the Torah wholeheartedly in its entirety, so I now can pray for a refuah. And Baruch Hashem, just like Benei Yisrael when they said, "Na'aseh v'nishma." All everything was healed. All of their ailments were remedied. I can also ask for Baruch Hashem to heal my ailments, my pain, my suffering, my issues, my pressures, my stress. This is an opportune time, not on Shavuot, but tonight, to get rid once and for all of my mother. I mean, of my problems, not my mother. My husband is going. So, let's get started. We're on week five of Pirkei Avot. Week five, okay? Look at this. It's after Lag B'Omer. There's a lot of parties going on. That's the same, right? So, everybody I'm in. I wanted to focus tonight on one very important Mishnah. And that's a Mishnah that can be found in the fifth Perek, the fourth Mishnah. Listen very carefully. Says the Mishnah, according to some, it's the third Mishnah, Asarah nisyonot nisa Avraham Avinu v'amad b'chulam. Avraham Avinu was tested with 10 different trials, and he stood in all of them. L'hodi'a, says the Mishnah, to inform a person Kama hibato shel Avraham Avinu alav alav hashalom. To show how much love there was with Avraham Avinu alav hashalom. So, I have a couple of questions. Okay? We always start our class with questions. Ready? So, question number one. What is the test all about? Why does what Elokim test me? Why are there trials? Why are there challenges? Why are there tribulations? Why is there stress? Why are there pressures? Why put Elokim? Why are you testing me? Question number one. Question number two is what does that mean? What Elokim wanted to reveal, l'hodi'a, to reveal the love of Avraham Avinu. Whose love? Did God want to show Avraham Avinu's love? Or was it God's love? What exactly was being re- revealed, sorry, every time a test was passed? What's going on here? And of course, question number three is how do you pass tests? Everyone has tests. There is nobody in life that's not constantly accosted by different trials and tribulations in life, by challenges. How do I pass them? Is there a you know one size fit all equation? Is there any hints that I can be given that will aid, will abet, will assist in passing my tests? And of course, question number four is what's the lesson for me. You know, in high school it was very easy. I got hundreds on all my tests because I sat next to the right people. Okay? It's very nice. It's very easy to score 100 when the guy next to you is a is a brilliant genius. So that's not a problem, but you can't do that in life's tests. In life's tests there's no cheating. When God gives you a test, there's nothing you can do. You got to pass it. You got to persevere. You got to excel. You got to propel yourself. You got to elevate yourself. And you got to do it on your own. So the question is, Rabbi Zeitooni, why did I come here tonight? What is the lesson that Borei Olam, not Rabbi Zeitooni, Z E I T O U N I H, just in case you want to know, in case you want to write a check, by the way. And what is the reason that I'm here tonight? Why am I not somewhere else? I mean there are some people who are who are going to weddings. Baruch Hashem, there's a lot of weddings going on tonight. And they didn't go. They came here. Why did you come? Now I'm asking you, why did you come? Now I'm saying it's good here. Okay? It's great. But you're here for a reason. What's the reason? So let's get started. Rabbi Pinchasi comes and says a wonderful thing. Listen to this. Says the Imrei Shefer, I'm going to read it to you. A person has to realize, has to understand, that Borei Olam, and everyone knows this already, does not give you a test that you cannot pass. Borei Olam gives you only tests that he knows that you're able to persevere, to succeed, to accomplish, to achieve. Those are the only tests that you're going to face. You're never going to face a test that's impossible for you to pass. And he says, "You know what? Unbelievable." He says, "Take a Take a cup." Okay? Anybody have ever a cup? So, there's certain things certain uh you know, protocol when handling cups. I'll give you an example. When I was in Israel, I remember I went to a shul one time. And in America, when you drink tea, you drink tea in a Styrofoam cup. You drink tea in a paper cup. You drink tea in a in in a uh what do you call those things? It's a China cup. Okay? In a clay cup. But, when I went to Israel, I was a little kid, and we went to City Hall. In one of these beautiful shuls, really magnificent. And I'm sitting down 4:00 in the morning, I'm half sleeping. And the guy comes in and he gives me a hot chocolate in a glass cup. And I touch the glass cup, and it was hot. Cuz you don't put hot liquid in a glass cup. It doesn't make sense. There are certain things that are appropriate, and certain things that are not appropriate. A person's not supposed to drink hot tea in a plastic cup. Why? It's going to melt. Okay? Now, that means that when a person uses a cup, you have to know the power, the strength, the durability of that cup. So, I'll give you an example. You know, when we were kids, and I know everybody did this. So, stop acting like you're cool, cuz we all know you did this. When I was a kid, people wanted to play with cups. So, what would they do? Okay? Cuz now it's commonplace on in on the WhatsApp, everyone does this with their mouths, right? So, you put the cup here, and you would suck in. Wait, you know that's how the way it went. Hold on. I wasn't good at this. People always laughed at me. Right? Good. Where's my selfie on that? But, you can't do that with a Styrofoam cup. Why? Because it'll crumble. It'll crack. But Adonai, when he gives you a test, knows what he can do and what he can't do. What he can give you and what he can't give you. How hard he can test you before you crack. And listen very carefully. It's very possible that that's the meaning of the Mishna. What does the Mishna say? Lehodia kama chibato shel Avraham Avinu alav hashalom. Every test that Avraham Avinu faced, every test that happened upon him, every test that Avraham Avinu had to go through, was what Adonai was showing Avraham Avinu, you can do it. I believe in you. I believe that you have the power to endure these trials and tribulations, to go through what you're going and come out unscathed. I believe in you. Lehodia chibato shel Avraham Avinu means not Avraham Avinu's love for God, but Adonai's love for Avraham Avinu. Because that's what happens every time we are tested. Every time we are tested, Adonai is coming and saying, "My son, my daughter, Eliezer, you can do it. You have the ability to endure. You have the ability to succeed. You have the ability to achieve. Don't be down and don't give up and don't despair. It's within your capabilities. And therefore, every time we're faced with a test, that's what Adonai is saying, "I believe in you. I think, I know that you're that strong. I know that you're that powerful." You know what it's like? Anybody ever try to teach a baby how to walk? Anybody ever have a baby, a little baby, and you try to teach them how to walk? And what do you do? The baby's grasping onto you for dear life and holding onto you. And you take the baby and you turn the baby around and you plop the baby on the feet and the baby's holding on, clutching. And what do you do? You remove your hands. And now the baby's standing there. What's the first thing the babies generally do when you let go? You know what they do? They plop down. They just plop in their place. But you give up? No. You take the baby and you stand up the baby again. And you take a little candy, all right, the sugar or something, and you put in front of them. And they take a step. And you move back. And they take another step. Now 1 second. Would anyone ever do that, I don't know, to a 3-month-old? Of course not. Cuz you know that that baby's not walking. The only one you ever do that to is a baby that you know is ready to walk. And therefore God, when he comes and tests you, and he puts you on your two feet, and he puts that candy in front of you, and he gives you that test, but Allah knows that you can walk, that you can get that candy, that you can run, you can excel, and you can succeed. That is the point of a test. But Allah is showing him how showing you how much he believes in you, how much he cares about you, how much he loves you. And that's really what I want to talk about tonight. Tonight I want to talk about life-long tests. And why we go through the tests we do go through. And what is the point? What am I supposed to bring out? What am I supposed to extract from every time God tests me? What is the point of life tests? So, here we go. Says the Messiah Shalom again, I think we spoke about this a couple of months ago. Let's talk about it again. I'm going to bring a couple of new sources. Says the Messiah Shalom. There are so many different things that can distance us from what Allah Right? It's all the materialism and all of the different types of things. Everything in life is a test for a person. Everything in life is a trial. A tribulations, is a challenge. And says once again, I'll prove it to you. Ready? Poverty on one side is a test, is a challenge. And so is wealth. Affluence, affluence, opulence. When a person is wealthy, that's also a test. Poverty is a test, wealth is a test. Everything in a person's life is a test. When a person's healthy, well and when he's not healthy. When a person is married, people think, "Wow, marriage is wonderful. Once a person's married, he's made." That's not true. I'm not saying don't get married. Get married. Rosie fist, let's go, okay? Get married. But don't think that marriage is not a challenge. Because until you get married, it's a challenge. And once you're married, it's a challenge. These challenges don't cease, they don't stop. There's no cessation of challenges in life. But listen very carefully. What did we just say? Poverty is a challenge and wealth is a challenge. But who sets up these challenges? You ever wonder? Who sets up these challenges? You know, when I was a kid, we took something called the BJE. If you took the BJE when you were a kid of AZN, right? Okay, okay, we all take Didn't you ever wonder, when you're studying for these BJEs, who's giving me this test? Who's testing me? Who's the guy who's writing the questions for these BJEs? I don't I want to know. WHO'S THE GUY? I want to give him a piece of my mind. What is that? No, really, I want to get the answers. Forget about the piece of my mind. But when it comes to life's tests, who's writing the questions? Who's giving us the test? So, listen very carefully. There's a Gemara Maseches Niddah. And the Gemara Maseches Niddah daf tet zayin amud bet comes and writes a phenomenal thing. Ready, Shirley? Who is in this? You writing notes? I'm impressed. Wow. After all these years, he's still writing notes wherever he's a Jew in his stuff. Okay, but don't tell him when I repeat things. Okay, ready? Here we go. Says the Gemara, da'i she'i be chadina bar papa o to malacha memuneh al herayon There's a certain malach, he's in charge of pregnancy. He's in charge of the embryos. laila shemo His name is Laila. venot tel tipa he takes the embryo umam meda lifnei Hakadosh Baruchu and he puts it in front of Borei Olam. ve'omer lefanav Ribono shel Olam he says, "Master of the universe, tipa zo this embryo ma tehe alaya? What's going to be with this embryo? Ready? gibor o chalash Is he going to be strong or is he going to be weak? chacham o tipesh Is he going to be smart, intelligent, or maybe not so smart? ashir o ani Is he going to be wealthy or impoverished? ve'im lo rasha o tzadik o kama But the the malach does not determine if he's going to be righteous or wicked. One second. What did we just say? Maseches writes, "If you're wealthy, it's a test. Impoverished, it's a test. If a person's strong, it's a test. If you're weak, it's a test. If you're smart, it's a test. If you're not so smart, it's a test. If you're handsome, Rabbi Situnin, it's a test. If you're not so handsome, it's a test. But who determines what you are? God. That means who's the writing the questions for your test? God. Borei alum is personally personalizing your test for you. For what you can withstand. For the amount that you can endure. For the amount that you can persevere. For the amount that you can succeed. It's a personalized test that every person has. And my test is nothing like your test. My test is based on what God thinks of me. And your test is based on what God thinks of you. And every time I'm presented with a test, but alum is saying, "Eliezer, you see that test? You can do it." You can persevere. And God personalized it for me, sending me a personal message, "I believe in you. I love you. You can do this." It's a new thing. You can do this. Right? What do you say? How do you say, Isaac? I got this, right? He got you. I got you. You got me what? You got me nothing. It's about time you do me something. Give me a hug. Oh, no, you can pull out the wallet. Okay. Ready? One second. I love you. You always get me. Don't worry. But, I want you to hear this. Because the truth of the matter is that in life, like we said, our tests are personalized. That means the person that I marry, God gave me that wife for a reason. And the struggles I have with that wife for a reason. And many times, the wife is nothing like me. I want to tell you something. You know, I spoke at a chuppah yesterday. And at the chuppah, I said the following. I said, "You know, we know Rabbi like this." The Rabbi said, uh Berachot. Tough. I believe it's aleph. I'm with Al Fried. That the original man was created back-to-back with his wife. Back-to-back with his wife. Girls, you know how good that is? You never have to do your hair. He cannot see you anyway. Okay? And do you know how good that is for me? I would just have to borrow some of her here. I'm good. There's some Okay? One second. And I ask the following question. Put it on alarm. If at the end of the day you're going to separate man and his wife, why create them that way to begin with? Why would I sham create men and wife back-to-back with one another and then separate them? It makes no sense to me. I don't understand it. And I have another question. Why create them back-to-back? If anything, create them like Siamese twins, facing the same way. Why you're creating them with different perspectives on life? And I said, "You know why? Because what Allah wants to show the husband and the wife that ideally you could be one. Ideally, you could be one. Naturally, you could be attached. And then God separated us and said, "But now you got to work on it. Now you got to work on it. It's not going to be easy. You know why? Because you'll look at two different things. Men and women don't think the same. They don't function the same. They don't understand the same. Women are more emotional. Men are more I don't know if I want to say reasonable, but they're more logical sometimes. And they see things black and white. Women, woo, the colors. Okay? She might sell and if you don't see it like that, you're going to see red. Got it? And somehow, even though we see opposite ways, we're supposed to mold into one. So, the wife that I married, God help her. Uh the wife that I married is a test for me to learn how to acquiesce and to meld and mold my ways with hers. That's the test in life. Yesterday I was a bachelor. I was doing my thing. I was strutting my thing. I wore what I wanted to wear. And I gelled my hair a la la la shalom and I said the things I wanted to say. And today I have to wear what she buys me. Like my tie? You like my tie? My wife. Like my jacket? My wife. Like the face? That's a shame. Okay? One second. Because it's all a test. What about babies? A person has a child. You think that child came by mistake? You think it came as a random neshama that was just thrown into a body saying, "Okay, let's go. Let's give Lenny kid. Yallah." No. The neshama that is in the child that you have was given to you on purpose. God said you could do this. Wait a second. Yesterday I was a 19-year-old girl. No, I wasn't. Don't please don't get scared. Okay? Yesterday I was a 19-year-old girl. And today I became a mommy. How am I going to do this? How am I going to be responsible enough? I got to teach you know I still have a problem changing diapers. I do. I find it to be very very difficult. And I remember when I first had to hold my baby she had a body. I said, "I'm supposed to take care of this kid? I can't take care of myself. What am I doing?" But if you have a child God is saying this test you can pass. You can be a great father. You can be a great mother. You can be a great wife. You can be a great person. One second. You know, I got to tell you I think that one of the best quickest tickets to olam haba is having kids. Easily. You know, the other day, I have a teenager she should be at she should live many many years with other sham and she should with other sham have any kids that she could do the same thing now. So, teenage girls are very different than teenage boys. Because there's something that happens to them when they become teenagers that's quite frightening if you ask me. Okay? Quite frightening. I think it was the scare of my life. Okay? She might stop. So, one day she's sitting down and all of a sudden she just starts crying. For no reason. And she's crying. Now, I have a very hard time watching my kids cry. It hurts me to the core. So, I start talking to her and whatever I do, she only cries more. AND I START JOKING WITH her and all the jokes and I'm a funny guy, funny looking, funny guy. AND SHE JUST CRIES MORE. I SAID TO MYSELF, what am I supposed to do? So, I go into my wife, I go into my room and surely my wife is like half asleep. So, I said, "Honey, the daughter's crying." She goes, "Okay." I said, "What do you mean okay?" She goes, "You don't understand. I'm telling you it's okay." I said, "No, it's not okay." I said, "You know what? Fine." I made believe I'm sleepwalking and I stumble into her room like this and I'm expecting her to laugh. And she cries more. I said, "What's going on here?" So, I stumble back and I go to my wife. I said, "Honey, she's still crying." She says, "Okay." She says, "Don't worry." I said, "What do you mean?" She says, "It's normal." It's normal? Yeah, she's a normal teenager. I said, "What kind of crazy teenager were you when you were a kid?" I said, "I wasn't like that." Like, "What what what are you talking about?" It's a test. And God says, "I know you can pass." The kind of parents that we have. You're born with a set of parents. And you got to deal with them. God didn't give you those parents by mistake. That's a test in life you have to endure. A test in life you got to succeed. A test in life you got to pass. Or, I know it sounds already cliché with Rabbi Zeitouni, but your in-laws. The type of in-laws you have. That's a test. And they want you to come over every Sunday with your kids. Uh I'm sorry, that's not how to Okay. At And that's a test. And God says, you can pass. You can pass that test. What about religion? In religion, everything that happens in religion. Every time a rabbi comes and says, "You know what, Isaac? There's a class tonight. You should come." That's God testing you. Cuz your yetsar is going to say, "No, what are you talking about? You want me to go to a class? No, no, my friends invited me for steaks." Or I have a wedding. Or there's Monday night football on. Does that still exist? Does it exist, Monday night football? It does? Really? They didn't learn how to change it to Tuesday night already? What's going on? Right? Monday night football. God says, "You can do this. You can pass this test. This is the test you can endure, succeed." God says, "I believe in you." Says Rav Dessler. You know what happens sometimes, and you can tell me if it happens to you. Rav Dessler writes that there's sometimes when a person first becomes religious, things are great. Bracha unbelievable. You see bracha parnassa, you see bracha shidduchim. You're getting calls off the hook. So a person says, "You know what? I'm going to entertain this. I love this. I'm going to become religious." And you do. And the bracha stops. It says to us, "Why does that happen? Why is it that as I'm growing, all the brachos are showered upon me? And once I reach that point, it ceases. Doesn't make any sense. I don't understand it. If anything, the more I become religious, the more bracha I got to see. The more bracha I got to experience. The more bracha I got to have. That prosperity has to be showered upon me. Why doesn't that happen? It says to us, it says, "You know why? Because what it all works in two ways. There's something called itaruta d'letata. Itaruta d'letata means when we agitate, when we inspire something from here, God responds in kind. That means I decide on my on my own, I'm going to become religious. So, God helps us become religious. But there are sometimes where God does the inspiring. You go to a class that you're dragged to with a friend. You're sitting in the class. The rabbi has a great class. And it inspires you to do something that the rabbi's talking about. That's itaruta d'leila. God is inspiring that. So, comes all of a sudden, you get all inspired and all into it. And then God says, "Good. You saw how excited you just got? You saw how excited you just got? Now I'm going to take away the bracha for a moment. And now I want you to get there on your own." That's scary. But let me tell you something. When you do get there on your own, then it's permanent. Because then you worked for it. Because then it's it's itaruta d'letata. Because then you agitated it on your own. You inspired it. You did it. And then it will never ever abandon you. So, yes, sometimes God does inspire us. And then God says, "Listen, now I'm going to I'm going to do this. I'm letting go. Now do it on your own." You know what it's like? Training wheels. I remember training wheels. I remember when I had training wheels. You know, and I remember how scary it was when I took off my training wheels. Last week. No, that's not how long it took me. Okay, but I remember how scary it was when I took off my training wheels. But my father told me, "If you don't take off your training wheels, you're not a bike rider." Imagine you have a 13 or 14 or 15-year-old guy driving riding with the training wheels. It's ridiculous. The training wheels are only there to stabilize you. Now you got to take them off and you got to ride on your own. That's what happens in religion. God comes and inspires us. And he gives us better and things are great and wonderful. It's working well AND IT'S working well. And then GOD SAYS, "GREAT! Now I'm just going to take off the training wheels for a moment. And you got to start riding on your own." And that's what we got to do. But God won't do that if he doesn't think you're ready to take off the training wheels. And therefore, every time that it seems hard God says, "Just keep pedaling. Pedal a little bit more. Ride a little bit farther. And you'll get the hang of it. How to persevere and how to pass that test." In fact, preparing for this class I think this was my favorite source. Ready? Comes and actually it says something phenomenal. Listen what he writes. Okay, actually before that let's let's go before that. Uh Yeah, writes the same. Comes and he says the following. Listen to this. Ready? Take a look at the greatness of how he became so great. Much the love in his soul. Right? How did that all happen? The It told us about the great trials and tribulations that he faced. Why? It's the trials, the tests that made him rise. That's what propelled him into greatness. That's what made him a legend. It was the tests. Because without the tests, he never would have become who he became. The Midrash comes and writes, Midrash how did he become the viceroy of Egypt? How did he become so great? It was the test that happened. Right? It says over here, the why? Because he because he had the test with Potiphar. And he persevered. So, those tests they make us great. It's those tests that build our legacy. It's those tests that cause us and enable us to reach higher heights. And that's what I want to talk about tonight. Because says Rashi a phenomenal thing. Rashi writes, what's the next Mishna? This Mishna writes that he was tested 10 times and he stood in every one of those times. Every single one he passed. To show how much he loved them. What's the next Mishna? Says the next Mishna, the nation of Israel had 10 miracles in the desert. But they still experienced 10 miracles in the desert. And 10 on the Yam Suf. So, Rashi writes, in what merit did the nation of Israel get those 10 miracles in the desert and 10 on the Yam Suf? Why? Rashi writes, in the merit of the 10 tests that he passed. That's why they were so happy. They merited to get those 10 miracles in Mitzrayim and 10 Makkot. Not only Not only that, writes Rashi, that's why they got the 10 dibrot on Har Sinai. Because of the 10 tests of Avraham Avinu. Unbelievable. Now, what does that mean? That means that every time I pass a test, every time God comes and shows me, "Look, I believe in you." Every time we persevere, every time we succeed, not only do we become greater, but we give greatness to our children. Why? So, listen to the Sifrei Midot. Comes Rav Nachman and says something phenomenal. And I think really this is a very important idea that every time you're facing a test, have this in mind. Ready? Rav Nachman comes and writes, Mishusho let be tzarah. When a person comes and you control your yetzer hara, you overcome your yetzer hara, your evil inclination, banav einam yotzim letarbut ra'ah. Your children will never ever go off the path. They'll never falter. They'll never fail. They'll never stumble. V'al yedei zeh mimonai yitparekh. And you get to benefit out of wealth from your money. V'al yedei zeh lo ya'avod ledei nisayon. And then no more tests. One second. I don't understand. When I pass a test, what does that mean my children are not going to stray? I don't understand. So, the other day, I was in my house, and I was remembering what I was like as a child. Uh And as I was remembering it, there's one other thing I remembered. I remembered the the one time when I decided that from now on I'm going to wear a kippah. I remember the time when I made a decision that from then on the kippah will be on my head at all times. Now, by the way, my first kippah was a little shiny. It was my bar mitzvah yarmulke. Okay? And you know how everyone has the colorful bar mitzvah yarmulkes? No, nobody knows what I'm talking about. So, they had all different colors. Mine was like bright blue. Okay? It was like turquoise blue. And I decided, "I'll put on a kippah all the time, but it's got to be a satin kippah or a zipper, right? A satin kippah." And I wore steadfast. And it got dirty. It got black. It went from blue to black. And now it's not bad, right? Reminds you of my wife. She gives me black and blue. Anyway, but and I decided one day, "What am I wearing this blue kippah for?" So, I changed to velvet. And then I looked at my son, Shaya buddy. And I said, "You know what? My son never had this test. My son never had a yetzer hara not to put on a kippah. Because I decided and I passed the test. I passed that struggle. And I wore a kippah on my head. And did not only elevate myself, but my son was elevated, also. He started his life on a new plateau. On a higher level. On a higher plane. Because of the decision I made as a child. One second. Same thing with tzitzit. I didn't look at my son. He won't move without a tzitzit. Huh, of course not. He wants to leave. That's part of his parcel. That's it. Every A part of parcel of his day. Of his attire. Of his daily attire. What am I going to I've got to put on a tzitzit. It's not a sport. Because I had to make the decision that I'm going to start wearing tzitzit. When a woman decides that she's going to be more modest in her dress, it's hard. It's very hard. But, you're making an investment for your children. Because if you decide that you're going to be steadfast in your attire, to dress up with modesty, when you have children, they won't have your test. It won't be a trial. It won't be a struggle. So, that's what it means. You elevate your kids. Why would you do the terrible Why? Because you faced the test. So, that way they won't have to. Unbelievable. Ora minyan. Minyan. You know, my father should have a full recovery. People take a look at me and I walk into shul 6:00, sometimes 6:05, sometimes 6:15, and people take a look at me and say, "Rabbi, how are you doing? How is it possible for you every morning to wake up early? I don't understand it." And the answer is that my father, again, should have a full recovery, my father, his entire life woke up at 4:30 every morning. He had to face that struggle. He had that test. And because it was a test for him, it was never a test for me. Yeah, when I was a little kid, I remember my father used to call me and say, "Tell me, okay, get up. Get up." "Daddy, Daddy, 5 minutes." "Daddy, get up." He used to go to the door. And he go, "Okay, I'm leaving." And he shut the door he used to open and and jam it down. I thought my father left without me. I used to run downstairs. He used to be sitting sipping his coffee. All right, come down. But, it wasn't hard for me. Because he faced the hardship. And therefore, if I want to invest in my family now, I should take those tests and appreciate them. Look at them as avenues and availabilities and possibilities to make my children better before they're even born. But the question is how do I do it? How do I say 20? Say 20. How do I do it? What are the mechanisms that I can employ to pass my tests? So I want to tell you, there's no secret formula. If you came here tonight for a secret formula, you're not going to get it. But I'm going to give you hints. And I'm going to give you secrets. And I'm going to give you methods that you can institute to begin persevering in every test that you face. So if I do you ready? Here we go. There's a message I could do. And the guy I could do that you'd have comes and writes the following. Ready? Something about it like this. It says let's say a person is married. And he decides to write a get. And he puts the get in his pocket. And he says listen, if me and my wife are good, wonderful. No need for the get. If not, right? Pop in 25 cents, get comes out. And I'll give it to her. So they go no, no, no. That doesn't happen. Why? I'll read the words to you. Ready? The money you need to put on top of your head. A person never precedes hardships and failure before he tries. That means if I go into a test with a possibility of I'm going to fail, you're in trouble. A guy goes into marriage. If I go into a marriage with idea in my back if it DOESN'T WORK OUT, I'LL get a divorce. That's a recipe for disaster. Because you're already a thinking failure in the back of your mind. Person goes into marriage failure is not an option. I'm going to do this. I got this. I'm going to succeed. That's tip number one. With every test that you face, whatever trials you might encounter, always go in saying I got this. I'm going to succeed. I'm going to persevere. I'm going to do this. So, that's tip number one. Person comes and says, "You know what? I have an anger problem." I have an anger problem. But if you keep thinking, "I have an anger problem." you're going to have an anger problem. But if you come in and you say, "I'm going to conquer my anger problem. I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going I'm going to be serene. I'm going to chill." Right? I'm going to be calm. I'm not going to let anything bother me. And that's your mindset going into the test or taking a piss. You know, I know people they go for the driver's test. Everybody here drive? Does everybody here Does anyone here not drive? Okay. Okay, good. You have a couple of You don't drive? You drive me crazy. That's what you do. What I think. You don't drive? I thought you drive. You don't drive? I'm going to take you for driving lessons. Here's my car. Say to me, "You want to Okay? One second. You don't want to drive like me. I'll tell you that much. But there are people that go into the driver's test saying, "I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to go, "Guys, I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail." Do a U-turn. I'm going to fail. Right? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? HE FAILS. BUT IF YOU GO into the driver's test and say, "I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass." You know what happens? You pass. Because you believe in yourself. SO, TIP NUMBER one is encounter every test with optimism. "I got this. I'm going to do this." Ladies and gentlemen, I want to read to you a Ben Ish Hai. The Ben Ish Hai says, "What a beautiful Ben Ish Hai." You know, when we go into Shabbat, there's one word that we say three times. Actually, there's one phrase that we say three times. Freddy, are you listening? The phrase that we say three times is Boi Kalah. We say three times. Boi Kalah. Boi Kalah. Boi Kalah. Why do we say it three times? So, writes the Ben Ish Hai, because on Friday, Friday night, the atmosphere in the house is very tense. The woman just worked for 7 hours straight. My grandmother, she would be out from 6:00 in the morning is already making the kibbeh. Well, she probably makes it on Thursday, right? She's just hiding them from me at 6:00 in the morning. Okay? She And she's busy. She makes all the all the all the wonderful delicacies. And comes in the man and he wants to taste everything. Tell him that that's a bite, not the whole That's a bite, not the plate. And the guy comes and he takes 14 kibbehs and he comes and he takes 13 latkes and he takes all the And maybe that's a smidgen over you people. And the wife goes ballistic. Says the Ben Ish Hai, "Before you go home on Friday night, say Boi Kalah, Boi Kalah, Boi Kalah." "Why three times?" Writes the Ben Ish Hai, "Take the gematria of the word Boi. Boi is gematria 13. Bet Aleph Yod. What word is Gematria 13? The word ahava. And says the Ben Ish Chai, cuz before you go home on Shabbat, infuse yourself with love in your machshava, in your dibbur, in your speech, and in your action. Set yourself up for success. Don't come home and say, "I'm going to fight with my wife. I'm going to fight with MY WIFE." NO, NO, NO. WOW, THAT IS But go and say I'm going to succeed. I'm infusing myself with ahava now. With the potency to be great. So, that's number one. Number one rule is I am going to succeed. I'm going to pass this test. I'm going to persevere. I'm going to be a hero. Number one. Number two. There's a Gemara in Maseches Kiddushin. And I know that I've quoted this Gemara before. Gemara in Maseches Kiddushin daf mem alef. And it writes like this. Listen very carefully. Everybody ready? Says the Gemara, here we go. Amoraim Eliahu Zaken. Im roeh adam sheyitzei mitgaber alav, person sees that he has a strong yetzer hara, a test, yelech lemakom she'ein makirin oto, go to a place where nobody knows you. Vilbash shchorim, wear black clothing. V'yitkaseh shchorim, cover yourself with black. V'ya'aseh kemo shelibo chafetz, and then do whatever you want. What? What do you mean do whatever you want? You just tell me to violate the Torah? Guy has a strong yetzer hara, go hide somewhere, wear black, and then sin? Says Tosafos, that's how it means. What it means is by the time you go away somewhere where nobody knows you, and you change into black clothes, and you cover yourself with black clothes, by then the yetzer hara went away. You don't have the desire. Cuz the yetzer hara wants you to do it and wants you to do it now. So, tip number two is, when a person has a test in life, don't act with haste. Take your time. Push it off a little bit. And delay a little bit. And and then, you know, uh postpone it a little bit. Cuz by then, the yetzer hara is weaker. Cuz he wants you to act immediately. And when we act immediately, you always make mistakes. You know, the other day, somebody called me from Chase Bank. I said, "Chase Bank?" Okay. Now, usually when they call me from Chase Bank, it's not a good one. I owe them money. No one ever called me and said, "Hey, Rabbi, guess what? We owe We owe you money." Okay? Never. So, they call me up and they say, "Rabbi, I see you have a credit card balance." I said, "What do you care?" They said, "Well, you know what? We want you to pay it now. If you don't pay it now, we're going to close the credit card." I go, "I said, close the credit card. What do I care for me?" They said, "You want to pay it now?" I said, "Truth is, my secretary deals with all my all my payments. Let me ask her." They said, "Well, use the app. She'll pay it." They said, "NO, NO, NO. PAY NOW. Pay now." Pay now? What do you care? What are you going to do with my money, right? What are you doing with my money? Oh, what are you What are you What are you What are you doing? They said, "No, you got to pay." I said, "Thank you. I'll take care of it." And I hung up. I went on to Google and I typed in the phone number. And it was a phone number of a scam artist. And if I would have acted immediately, I would have given this woman the shul's money. But now is never good. Always wait and delay. Because the more you wait, the more the yetzer hara is weakened. The more the test becomes easy. And you'll be able to do it with great facility. Take your time. My grandmother had a similar situation. She got a phone call and all that. I went to eat my hidden kibbeh. I went and ate my kibbeh. I said she makes a lot of kibbeh. And I gave her a bracha you know, before Pesach, that she should make a thousand kibbeh. Like the bracha. You're not getting any. Don't try. Okay? And I went in she was shaking. I said teta. That's what we call you know. There's a machlokes bobby, teta. Right? How do you guys say it? Bukharian, how do you say it? Grandma. You don't call your grandma? What? Who? Bibi? You call your grandma Bibi? Oh, Bibi. That's different. Okay. So anyway, I went I said Bibi, I said teta. I said, "Why are you so shaken up?" She said, "You'll never You'll never guess what happened." Yesterday, the IRS called me. They called you? Yeah. Why? I know they said, "You owe us money. How come you didn't pay?" And I said, "What are you talking about? You didn't give me a You didn't give me a letter. Send me a letter." "What do you mean? We sent you a letter." I said, "Good. Could you send me another one?" She says, "No, you have to They said you have to go to Washington to get the letter there." Washington? "Pay! YOU GOT TO PAY NOW! PAY NOW! What are you talking Pay! Pay! You got to pay!" My grandmother's shaking. IRS. They're going to take you to jail. I said, "Grandma, don't worry. I was there twice. No no no problem. No, it's I said and I right? So, what happened?" She comes my mother walks in. And she's shaky. My mother gets on the phone and says, "What do you want?" So, he said, "Does she What do you mean? Does she have money?" My mom said, "No." He said, "Okay, have a good day." And hung up. Imagine my grandmother would have acted hastily and sent the money. That was the test. My grandmother pushed it off. Because it's one of the most important tips that a person could exercise when he's faced with a test. Final tip. Right to the pillow Kiddushin daf lamed amud aleph. And the Gamara says Yisro shel Adam govel al kol yom. A person's yetzer hara gets stronger and stronger daily. V'ilmalei Hakadosh Baruchu ozro if God doesn't help you right? Ino yachol. You can't succeed. So, therefore tip number three ladies and gentlemen tonight is you're going through tests say "Ribbono shel Olam I know you believe in me. I know that you love me. I know you want me to know how strong I really am. I know you want me to ride the bike on my own. Please help me. Because without your assistance I can't do this. Without your assistance I can't go through another boy not working out on a shidduch date. Or another time that my boss tells me I can't give you a raise. Or without another time where an employer says, "I'm sorry. You're not what we're looking for." Or another time where my teenage daughter cries incessantly and I don't know what to do. Without putting Allah there holding my hand and helping me. I can't do it. So tip number three is you're going through trials, hardships, tribulations, desires, jealousy, pray. Pray that sin. Talk to your father. Say, "Daddy, I am riding the bike alone. Please make sure that I'm able to do it all the way." So ladies and gentlemen, yes, as you walk into that room, there's at the sham right after we speak the rabbi's going to speak to us. But as you walk into that room, there's going to be tests right away. Do I remember to make a better do I remember to make better did I count the homer? All these are tests and trials and tribulations. Understand God is giving them to you today to show you how much he loves you. And when you leave this room and someone says, "Wow, YOU DIDN'T GO TO THE WEDDING. WHAT A WEDDING it was!" It's a trial and tribulation. Cuz he doesn't want you to regret coming here. Just remember how much God loves you. So ladies and gentlemen, let's go home a little bit more confident. Let's walk around life saying, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to walk on my own without my father holding me, my kids holding me. Kids, without my father holding me. I'm going to ride the bike without the training wheels. I'm going to climb the mountain without the harness. I'm going to persevere. I'm going to succeed. And by doing that, not only are you going to reach greatness, but you'll reach greatness for your children and your progeny forever more. I thank you so much for listening to me. but I