What Happens to Your Soul When You Die? - Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva.net [Music] my brother told me that he did stop using GPS in his car because he was once traveling to the montaur cemetery and when he uh arrived there the GPS announced you have arrived to your final [Laughter] destination so my dearest friends brothers and sisters I'm so glad and thrilled that you're here with us and uh I want to welcome all of you to the jli National Jewish Retreat haven't been here for a few years so it's really a great great uh privilege and honor to return with so many so many wonderful and beloved uh friends old friends and hopefully new friends by the time uh The Retreat is over I just want to thank each and every one of you for being here with us today and so many other sessions and opportunities uh to learn and grow and St and experience yish in its full Majesty love and depth there's one of these good and old Jewish anecdotes and you know the oldies are always the best basically from my experience there's only 200 Jewish jokes by the way there's no more there's 200 Jewish Jes uh 50 of them are about rabbis 50 of them are about uh lawyers 25 of them are about food and the rest are about marriage mothers-in-law uh Etc so uh this is one of those you know old ones but good ones the rabbi and the priest and the minister who are sitting in Starbucks and sipping a latte and schmoozing and what can a rabbi a priest and a minister talk about that is not controversial what they would like to hear people say at their funeral the priest says you know I would love if someone got up at my funeral and said he was a true servant of the Lord dedicated 24/7 to bringing the love and the light of the Lord to his constituents the minister says I would like to hear somebody speak at my funeral about my unique empathy he was a real friend to the congregation you could rely on him you could trust him he was there for you in the good times and the challenging times Rabbi how about you what would you like to hear somebody say at your funeral the Rabbi says I would like if somebody would say at my funeral you know I think he's moving yeah okay I I just got it like every anecdote it captures something very Jewish and that is we are a nation that loves life a nation that's obsessed with life a nation that believes in life a nation that holds life to be sacred Moses tells the Jewish people at the end of his life there are two paths in life there's the path to life and the path of death in Deuteronomy you should choose life two words those words have become immortalized and enshrined in the Jewish psyche over thousands of years the Jewish people have lived up to this instruction of Moses choose life always choose life Jews were liberated from ashwoods burkan now in January 1945 they walked out of those accursed gates with the sign arbit M fry and thousands of them heard those two words and the deepest parts of their soul choose life and that's why we're here today the only reason we're here today it's so profoundly ingrained in the Jewish psyche that in the five books of Moses and in the tanak you will not find clear explicit clear explicit conversation about the afterlife because one of the reasons gives 10 reasons but one of the reasons I think is because when the Torah was given there was such an obsession with the Afterlife with death with violence with Bloodshed as there still is in many Cults and religions we you are promised a glorious afterlife and if you die as a Shahid and a martyr you come to heaven and are greeted by 72 pies of pizza or 72 rolls of sushi or whatever the most recent version we're not going to go there at the moment it was such an obsession in ancient times and still by some that the the contrast is glaring choose life but there's also another side to it many Jews don't even know what Judaism says about the afterlife many Jews don't even know that Judaism believes in an afterlife often in my Journeys people have asked me is it true that Judaism believes in an afterlife is there's such a thing in Judaism they never hear about it they heard sermons from rabbis for many years many of them put them to sleep other one spoke about social justice what we call tiun which is awesome but after you die H Christian ideas Buddhist ideas Hindu ideas what does Judaism have with after you die so that's the other side of it and that's a problem because it's a very real part of Judaism and there's an enormous literature within Judaism and the talmud and the mid and the Zohar in many many sources in Jewish philosophy Jewish ethics cabala Jewish mysticism hash branches of Jewish literature cidic spirituality about the afterlife so I'm going to try today to touch on a few of those seminal points briefly and just obviously the topic is is profound and long and not easily uh digestable and exhaustible but at least we can begin the journey with some basic insights and ideas into the Jewish perspective on after to life the first thing that we always have to understand when exploring this topic is what do we mean when we say the words after life people ask a question is there life after death that question in Judaism is a non-starter and the reason is because of course there's no life after death that which is dead is dead and that which live which is alive lives if it's life it lives if it's death it's dead there's no life after death the question is what is alive and what is dead if something is alive it's alive does anybody know what I'm talking about cuz I don't but it sounds good no okay that's the main thing so what is this guy talking about so let me try to make sense of what my subconscious just said um you got to wake up over there in the back you got to wake up go take a coffee and wake up um so if you listen carefully everyone has something to say everything says something right so the other day I had an imaginary conversation with my refrigerator I spent time at the refrigerator I I open it I close it uh when I'm stressed I open the refrigerator I opened it 5 minutes ago but somehow I hope that the Prophet Elijah put in some new items in the refrigerator did you ever realize how many times people open the refrigerator I just opened it no no no but there's probably something I didn't find right like some cheesecake from SCH whatever something must be in the refrigerator my much people open the refrigerator it's like it's a stickle a stickle addiction it's called refrigerator addiction some people call it food addiction but it sounds better if it's a refrigerator addiction so in any case I'm having this conversation with my refrigerator and the refrigerator is like you know I am sick and tired of being under a dictator I really want to be autonomous I really need self-actualization I really need to be independent I cannot stand being and living under the tyranny of monarch and dictators who control everything about me and I looked at the refrigerator and I'm like yeah I agree free at last free at last how are we going to do this and the refrigerator says you know this whole thing with this uh I'm always plugged into this wall and I'm always connected near the wall I have to be near the wall and dependent on then this electricity I just want to be free I want to be free to roam wherever I want to be whatever I want to do whatever I want do me a favor Unplug Me me unplug me and very good so I unplugged the refrigerator and you know what happened Yash the cheesecake died the fruits and vegetables died the refrigerator dead it was dead it was a big lifeless useless body that had occupied extra space in my home for no reason H so how do we understand that electricity when the refrigerator is unplugged did the electricity die what do you think no electricity doesn't die where did electricity go where did it go to huh it went okay I don't know the answer I know that it went to the place where El electricity belongs which which electric so what happened where is the electricity it was here my refrigerator was working my refrigerator was working to bring it to this room M to this room your iPhone I had a conversation with my iPhone you know we have had a old good relationship pretty good relationship I mean the boundaries are blurred and uh we're trying to separate for a little bit and see if we could go on with our lives independently so we can come back from a healthier place together because I have my needs the telephone has its needs the needs of the telephones are complete and absolute control 24 hours a day 7 days a week even when I'm taking a bath I have needs for my own space so we're trying to work out the separation so I unplugged it dead Mish dead few hours it still lingered and then it was gone finished dead no return nothing no texts Mish not even WhatsApp it was all dead unplugged the plug somehow was channeling something vacuum cleaner refrigerator computer iPhone used to be the tape recorders Al the air conditioner what happened for thousands of years we didn't even know about electricity M didn't know about electricity imagine and then one day not very long ago in the 19th century human civilization Humanity discovered this extraordinary force that exists in our planet called electricity and what happened we just opened ourselves up to the availability of electricity we created then the vessels the the channels to channel electricity so when electricity when the refrigerator is plugged into the wall electricity flows through it and the refrigerator can do what it has to do the same is true with your laptop the same is true with your phone same is true with your vacuum cleaner the same is true with your air conditioner same is true with your radio or alarm clock or whatever else you're using electricity for what happens when you unplug it the electricity doesn't die the electricity just goes back to where it always belongs because the channel channeling the electricity to allow it to flow through the refrigerator to cool the food has been interrupted you get the point life doesn't die is there life after death of course not but that which is alive Never Dies the human body is like the refrigerator extraordinary refrigerator far more complex 50 trillion cells 100 billion neurons and it's a channel for the electricity which we call the soul and that electricity is manifested through the body what is the body without electricity it's a corpse that decomposes ultimately so it's the electricity that gives Vitality it vivifies I it's the current that gives Vitality personality to the body which we call the N the soul what happens by death what happens by death is it's unplugged we're unplugged so the soul literally becomes part of what it always was and where it always was barring the years that the soul was manifested electricity was manifested through the physical body which is why the real world word for death in Jewish mysticism is not death the talmud says in tractus page five b mace Jacob Our Father didn't die how can the talmon speak these words the answer is when you're sensitive to the electricity of life you realize death is not really described by death a more accurate definition of death is unplugged unplugged the Same Soul that same reality continues to live in a way even with more intensity because it's not being channeled through a limited vessel that's what the Tanya says with more intensity so Yakov Our Father who was always in tuned with electricity didn't die nobody dies what happens is the connection is not manifested the electricity is not flowing through your laptop it's not flowing through the body I'm talking to the body and it's dead one of the most transformative moments in my life was when I walked into the hospital room where my father lay ill just moments after and a moments later he returned I I was there in the morning and then I left and I came back and when I came to the door I saw that something was wrong and when I came and I saw that he's just passed away I was with him in the morning we were communicating he was fully alive some of you sitting in this audience knew my father he was a very very vivacious creative engaging interesting personality he was a little different he was quite original and he had a lot inside of him he was a very interesting conversationalist and a fascinating dad and human being and journalist he was just a one hell of a guy as they say and even when he was Ill the personal was still there and I'm looking at him and nothing is there it's just a corpse and the machines are all quiet you know how the machines go dead just a everything is silent there's an eerie Serenity because there's nobody to help anymore there's nobody to heal and just my mind asked one question where did my father's personality go where did 70 years he was 70 where did 70 years of his life go where did it go what happened to it did it just mamish all Fade Away into Oblivion and all that's left for my father is Father for the worms in a cemetery in Queens Mish is that really it I wasn't asking then a scientific question and a question that's going to the laboratory it was just in my kishkas I was looking at my father and I was trying to where is it all CU it's not here anymore there's nothing here and then I knew at the moment it was all there it was just not being manifested through that vehicle we call the body which of course for us who stay behind is very very painful and it's a pain that we don't overcome which is why you should never confuse belief in the afterlife with elimination of pain because I can't relate to electricity you know what happens if I put my hand into the core of electricity you know what happens right and it's not a place you want to be in refrigerators I like phones I can deal with you know why cuz the electricity is being channeled through the food that I'm good good fresh tomato I'm fine it's impacted by the electricity but electricity in its core nobody ever saw electricity nobody can Define what it is there's not a person in the world who can say what it is but nobody doubts that it exists I never heard somebody say I'm an atheist electricity does not exist you never saw it that's true you never saw nobody saw it and nobody can describe what it is nobody knows what it is but we see it manifested constantly which is why it's not too hot in the room even though for me it is hot cuz the electricity I can't see it and if I'm there I'm not here and that's why the pain of death is a very real pain because the contact through the physical manifestation is gone somebody once told me something very meaningful and uh I found it helpful for me and I found it very helpful sharing it with others when I was sitting shiver for my late father whom I just mentioned somebody came in to visit and he said something very profound simple and profound and he said when a loved one dies a parent dies or another loved one dies a ditch opens up in your heart a ditch opens up in your life literally a ditch a sstn a cave a hole in the ground a hole in your ground and you know what happens he says in the beginning you keep on falling into that pit says imagine in your dining room suddenly there's a huge hole that opens up in the dining room literally a pit and each time you walk from the kitchen to your living room through the dining room you know what happens you fall right in and you got to climb out and it's not easy to climb out he says that's exactly what it looks like a hole just opened up in your life and every time you try to walk through your home you're going to be falling right into it you're going to wake up in the morning you're going to fall into the ditch you're going to sit down to eat lunch well the shabas is coming you're going to fall in every Milestone every moment many times every time you walk through the house you're in that place and then he said with time the ditch does not go away the pit never goes away with time you just learn to walk around it that's all you look at it you see it you know it maybe you even wink at it you just learn to walk around but not always sometimes you forget and you walk right back into it maybe before holiday maybe as you're marrying off a child maybe as you're experiencing something in life maybe just on a Thursday morning or Thursday evening unconsciously you walk right back into it but it will always be there when I was a child they always would chase us out of schul for Yar you're familiar with the Yar Services we do on the holidays and they never allowed people with parents to stay in the synagogue you know that it's a very interesting custom now I loved it because it was a free permission to leave the synagogue and once you were out you never came back so it was good once you are you so I didn't mind I didn't mind but when I got older already so I had an interesting experience once I grew up in the konight section of Brooklyn and yum Kipper the laich would say What's called MAA the ma about Jonah being swallowed in the f fish and it was a very emotional experience to hear him say it and then at the end of Yip he would jump up on a chair and dance some song that Napoleon soldiers used to sing It's called Napoleon's March and he would get up on a chair at the end of Y Kipper a very powerful spiritual experience and I had a good place and I didn't want to lose it but by Yar I had to go out cuz both of my parents are alive and once you went out to were 10,000 people rushing back in you lost your place so I decided I'm going to hide in the shore behind a beam so people won't see me and that way I'll be there and the sh was empty cuz anybody who had parents which means a lot of young people were gone and then by the time the doors open and everybody crosses back in I'll be the first cuz I'm already in the synagogue the was on the be and they were starting Yar and I remember there was an eerie silence in the it was mostly empty people who didn't have parents but most of the people were young and they had Parents thank God and uh the rebba looked around and his eyes hit the point where I was behind the beam and he looked at me with such intensity and a very H how do I say it clear and intense way you really don't belong here so I ran out of sh I just I ran out of sh it was fascinating cuz I was behind a beam if he was standing I was like behind the beam and I was like hiding I was was near those who know the structure there was near the entrance to what used to be the back bathrooms and I was said he gave a look I ran out when I grew up I remember my father died I was already 31 or 32 and I was an adult I was married thank God and the first time I was by isar was Shu Shu 2005 I was by isar and I remembered wondering why did they always chase out the kids and again they chased out anybody who didn't have parents and I remained alone in the room and then I understood immediately that everybody in that room shared something in common with each other everybody had a piece of them that was swallowed up by the Earth everyone had a little piece of them that died because when a loved one dies a piece of the person also goes everyone in that room had that and somebody who has thank God their loved ones present could not be in that room it wasn't fear for them and wasn't fear for everybody else there was also a certain presence of the souls in the room and if you weren't connected on that level you really didn't belong there and that's why there is a paradox in Judaism on one hand we talk about the fact that there's a very real pain we don't look at death and say e it's nothing the soul is in a good place I cannot tell you about the stupid things I have heard people say at shiv I can write a book of the brilliant idiotic comments like you must be relieved that he's gone yes absolutely I was looking forward for this day my whole life at least he's in a good place but why don't you go to those places yeah or I was not not long ago at a Shiva at a Shiva call and some guy was just nudging The Living Daylights out of the guy sing shiv and he says I have to say this in yish there's this P there's this Stan of this verse that we say I have to say it in he says uh people whatever they don't have se you know when you don't got SE or you feel awkward you sit down and say stupid things the pain is very real because the contact is not there on the other hand when we understand what life is a soul doesn't die Soul doesn't live after its death it never died unplugged that's the word unplugged the soul was there before birth so was there after death because electricity was not created when you pluged in the refrigerator electricity is here since God created the MOS plugging in the refrigerator only means that you channeled the electricity through your refrigerator or computer or vacuum cleaner or iPhone or AC that's principle number one we have to understand principle number two and now I get to the exciting reality of paradise versus hell what does it look like anybody knows there was a girl dating a Jewish boy she came from a very religious family she came home from the 10th date and she said Ma I like him but I cannot marry him mom said why not he doesn't believe in hell he doesn't believe in this oh the mother says you don't worry about that between you and me we will show him it exists so you like that but you're laughing too loud you are going to get a punishment for that I just know so what is what is this what is what is this all about and I'm talking about conversation I have with refrigerators you'll forgive me the women will forgive me I have to deal with fungus in my feet a lot and the doctor told my foot doctor told me you can't sweat your fungi loves moisture it loves When you sweat it brings friends over they have a poolside party like octopuses they're all over the mat in your foot said what am I supposed to do she says when you sweat only first of all only cotton socks cotton 100% not 90% cotton and Etc 100% And you change it in the middle of the day sweat you change I don't care if you change it many times a day so the first Mitzvah of the doct I observed the second one is too challenging I have made a peace treaty with the fungi but one day but one day again forgive my illustration the Sachs were were not doing so well they were transferring a particular type of Aroma and they were dirty and they were filthy and they were sweaty so I took these wonderful cotton socks and I put them in a washing machine I filled them up with water the water was hot I put in some chemicals and then started the hakos and the sock started to twirl as I Mish for 45 minutes with hot water God opened the mouth of the scks and the scks turned to me and said Rabbi why why why are you so cruel to me why are you so sadistic I am the sacks that you have spent so much time in all your lectures all your presentations all your classes who holds you up who comforts you who gives you soless on the bottom who's there who who's really who's the foundation who do you step on and never Mak a pip who peep who's M there for you from morning till midnight walks with you wherever you go wherever you drive it's always your support and always gives you that tender love and care that sense of it's me why would you plunge me into such hot water and with chemicals cursed chemicals and have we twirl around where is this torture coming from I thought you were a nice man and I turned to my socks and I said my dear beloved socks our relationship is as intact and Powerful As It Ever Was I could never tell you how appreciative I am but let me explain to you when I bought you you were so pure you were so clean you were so smooth and your odor was also very very fine but as a result of our interactions and walking around in the August season of New York not Washington but New York where I come from your smell has been compromised a little bit and your cleanliness has been compromised and I want to bring you back to your pristine state of Purity Beauty and fragrance so I'm putting you into this washing machine to be able to get back what I always had the socks were happy I was happy and since then we have enjoyed a very meaning F and Powerful relationship when people hear the word hell punishment fires Purgatory we have to understand two things Point number one the idea that God is out to get people that God is going to get you that if you sin God is going to destroy you he's going to punish you this unfortunately is an idea that we got from different cultures and different religions although it made its way into Judaism think about a mother or a father a healthy mother and functional father and I know that's not so common but once in a while you could find it okay and your child misbehaves do you ever feel like if you're in a again if you're a normal person and you're in a good place right you did your yoga you did Pilates you went to two therapists you had your I coffee you ran for a few miles you ate cucumbers you did you did wheat grass juice and now you're in a good space right and your child misbehaves do you like I'm going to get you back I'm going to take revenge from this four-year-old oh am I going to take [Applause] revenge is that what drives you when you discipline your child Vengeance or I'm going to show you who's boss in this house you three-year-old Boi I'm going to show you who's the master of this house you're going to learn there's no such a thing you love your child if your child makes a mistake you want to fix the mistake you want to educate your child sometimes you want to Discipline Your Child only because you want his child to be able to live a good life why would anybody think that God should be less than a normal healthy father and mother and whenever when we think about God in terms of he's going to get me he's going to get back at me he's going to show me whose boss he's going to take revenge the word punishment is a very dangerous word cuz the word punishment implies why would you punish anybody why would you punish somebody you love you want to discipline you want to help you want to repair I was not punishing my socks when I put it into the washing machine was I nor was I taking Revenge from my socks nor was I showing my socks who boss I was doing one thing I was trying to cleanse my socks and get rid of the smell and get rid of the dirt the way I describe Purgatory from a cabalistic andic point of view is geham hell is basically here is what it is it's Cosmic therapy it's Cosmic therapy you see the soul the Divine electricity that flows through your body is sacret it's pristine it's as pure and holy as it gets but you know what happens in life sometimes I don't know who I am and I can tarnish I can taint I can purify that sacredness that Purity that Divinity now the person is unplugged and electricity wants to go back to the place of electricity but there is toxicity there is baggage there are layers of coverups that don't allow the electricity to be in the natural place of where it is where is it natural place the natural place of a soul is it's a it's a fragment of the Divine but it got toxic layers of dirt and filth may have gathered on it every time I lie it's a stab in the chest of my soul every time I gossip or slander my soul is hurt it becomes infected every time I do something promiscuous or immoral I hurt somebody I insult somebody if I don't fix it if I don't repair it there is a very deep blemish there it doesn't only hurt the other person it also hurts me and sometimes I live a life in which I hurt myself very deeply I made very bad mistakes that hurt me or hurt others the soul doesn't forget what does therapy look like anybody anybody goes to therapy okay don't don't all raise your hands T what does the good therapist want to do he wants to get out the infection he wants to get those splinters out getting out a splinter hurts you may have a psychoanalyst or a therapist or a good psychologist who's going to take you back to age four or age nine or age 16 or two years ago and what's going to happen if he's good or she's good you may break down and weep uncontrollably and the therapist will be very glad why because that is what allows you sometimes to spit out spit out the dysfunction spit out the trauma is therapy revenge is therapy because the therapist wants to take revenge wants to punish you it's sometimes the best thing for you when we talk about afterlife Paradise hell all that it's God doing therapy for the soul does therapy hurt whenever you get rid of dirt it hurts but it's not a pain that's coming from a bad place it's the best pain in the world it's getting out the trauma it's getting out the Splinter it's getting out the toxicity how many of us are comfortable sitting down with somebody and really laying everything beer being naked and raw you can't go back to your natural place if you're not naked pristine pure and raw but here's the deal this is the world where transformation is possible every single moment that's what we call chuva but in the afterlife when the soul is unplugged if that Soul has trauma in it or toxicity in it there's Cosmic therapy that has to be done the word for that in Judaism is called geham or what some people like to call hell or Purgatory no there's no Divine barbecue where God is saing you like a hot dog with lettuce and barbecue sauce and some french fries with a big lafa and like here is a good one here is a good one I don't know if Dante's foress exists when we speak about fire or snow these are metaphoric concepts of various forms of therapy that a soul needs in order to be clean here's an inside of the balsham the holy B said the following ah tune in Psalm K Hashem is which Psalm Psalm anybody knows to Hill him here k hasem k sopia anybody Psalms 94 it's the song of Wednesday you know the song of Wednesday starts like this not very romantic translation first the the translation in the books which is not accurate because no translations are accurate you know that so here's the inaccurate translation then the accurate translation now you'll see why they do an inaccurate translation because accurate translation sounds weird here's the inacurate translation God is a god of Revenge the god of Revenge has appeared okay now the accurate translation okay kale n Hashem the god known as kale is one of Revenge that's the god known as yut k v the kale the God knowing as kale of Revenge has appeared where what are you talking about so King David says God by the way you want to know God let me tell you he is the god of Revenge this is why so many people have issues with God imagine you're introducing yourself for the first time to a girl or a boy who you may you want to date maybe they'll be courtship and marriage who knows you remember your first date or second date introduce yourself hi my name is Stephen my name is yanle my name is George my name is Yos my name is m my name is Ken whatever really tell me about you H I am a man of Revenge the man of Revenge has appeared could you marry meem the a lot of this in the T what's going on what's going on so the told says the great student of the B of I think in the portion of Bo he says let me tell you what I heard from my teacher the to the founder of theic movement and this is what he said open your hearts you have to tune in a little bit in Judaism God has many many names you know they say the eskimos have like 70 names for snow because when you live in snow you know the different names I don't know if it's true well Jews have endless names for God because when you're into something you know every Nuance right how many names do you have for your kid right Zite Mala angel love terrorist Migra headache the love of my life the sweetest thing that ever existed the most greatest challenge that ever existed Etc Jews have many names for things you love you have many names because you analyze it so Jews have a lot of names for God very many one of them is kale kale is a name associated with love K another name is and V and he hav that's the name of compassion then there's a name that identifies judgment it's called Elohim Elohim King David is being repetitive on three levels here he says kale hasem kale which was one name of God yeah God is a re is a god of Revenge God the god of Revenge has appeared he should have said the god of Revenge has appeared or God is a god of Revenge he appeared no the Lord is a god of Revenge the god of Revenge has appeared so the B says how do you make sense of this verse says the names that are used for Revenge are God's wrong names the names should have been Elohim or other names that are associated with judgment with vengeance not the names kale and which represent kindness and compassion so he says that's what King David is teaching you you know which God takes Revenge kale and Hashem which are the two names of love and compassion passion how are they associated with Revenge Revenge doesn't come from love and compassion Revenge comes from the absence of love and compassion Ah that's why he says the god of Revenge has appeared you know how God takes Revenge you know how he takes Revenge he appears he appears that's the Revenge what was the B of teaching us here he was teaching us something very profound and that is this I'm going to give a metaphor some of you will relate to it immediately some don't won't if you do I empathize if you don't get out of the room you're living with somebody that person loves you like crazy love Mish is crazy about you but you have so much trauma inside of you you can't feel the love anybody knows what I'm talking about or you have trauma or you suffer from a mental challenge God forbid it may be depression borderline similar stuff bipolar you cannot feel the love you're always blaming them or you don't have mental illness but you have trauma you have so much trauma you don't believe you're lovable is there anybody in this crowd who believes you are not lovable so if somebody loves you either they're Sinister and they have an agenda or they are mentally ill if they love me there's something very wrong with them now very often people who suffer from this don't know this I don't know that the reason I can't fa your love is because of my trauma I think the reason I don't fail you love is cuz you're a bad person cuz that's my trauma my trauma eclipses its own toxicity by projecting back on you you are the culprit do you understand what I'm saying ladies and gentlemen if you don't understand God bless you if you do understand take it to heart very often I am loved but I can't feel it because of my deep deep toxic issues and therefore I see you as my enemy when really you are my greatest support but I can't know it cuz I don't know how to look inside it's too scary I go this way and then one day I may come to a place place of sobriety or a place of clarity or a place of more health or a place of more Oneness and suddenly I realize that the person I blamed for all of my challenges was the one who loved me most what do you think I feel like on that day there's a very deep shame this is the metaphor the metaphor that the brings from the B There was a man there was a man who betrayed the king and tried to kill the king because he thought the King was evil and what the king do they told the king execute him the king said no bring him into the palace and give him everything and let him spend time with me and that was the greatest punishment what was the punishment suddenly he experienced the shame of seeing who he tried to murder says the balv god takes Revenge you know what God's revenge is hiia he appears in your life and when God Appears in your life that's God's Revenge it's a Revenge that comes from kale and yut the names of love and compassion because what does the Revenge look like the Revenge looks like wow that's embarrassing I didn't know who you were so let's make it very practical okay there's every person every person sitting here there's two people there's not one person there's two two people who are the two people there's who you are who you are but there's somebody else who's the somebody else when God thought you up in his mind what did he see when God imagined you in his imagination what did God see there's who you are and there's who you could be who you're meant to be who you were called on to be when you create a company in your mind you imagine something when you create a marriage in your mind you imagine something when you build an infrastructure in your mind you imagine what it looks like when God conceived your soul and his mind what was he thinking what did he see in you God saw something in you that's who you could be that is your ultimate potential that is your ultimate calling and then there is who you are who you are how close do you think those two images are to each other what would you say so uh uh Henry Kissinger the night before Richard Nixon resigns after Watergate Richard Nixon is walking out of the White House at 2 in the morning Henry kisser writes this Nixon stops at the portrait of JFK who was killed 10 years earlyer Nixon and Kennedy didn't get along they were Rivals Nixon speaks to dead late President Kennedy in the portrait in the white house and he says President Kennedy Why do the American people love you and why do they hate me Nixon was not very loved Kennedy ah camac Kennedy's were Untouchable why do they love you and why do they hate me well Kennedy didn't answer he was in The Portrait and Richard ni says I'll tell you why when they look at you they see what they would like to be when they look at me they see what they are that's very different but one day when I come when I'm unplugged I see everything clearly and you know what happens I see two videos playing one video shows me what I was what I looked like what my mornings look like what my afternoons look like what my evenings look like the other video is also of me but it's what I could look like if I confront my fears if I confront my traumas if I confront my insecurities if I confront my skeletons if I confront My Demons if I believe that I am a Channel of infinity in this world if I see myself as a refrigerator channeling Divine electricity and I don't try to be unplugged in Middle middle of this world I see the second video I see what God thought of me when he conceived my soul what did God see in me what did God see in you what did God see in you what was that product that God was creating that's the second video I see those two videos very clearly cuz I'm unplugged for some people watching those two videos is called Paradise but for other people watching those two videos is called hell you know how God takes Revenge by appearing by allowing you to see your truth to see who you are and you know why that's important because here I can synthesize the two videos how courage Integrity authenticity and becoming the person I was meant to become reaching that soul that God imagined when he thought of me in his mind so At Last At Last around the corner this happened not far from here baby camel turned to Mommy camel and said Mama three questions not four three yes baby what's the problem baby camel said why do we have three ugly toes on each foot why were we cursed this way Mama says cuz we're camels we're not lazy hippopotamuses who do nothing we trekk the deserts we March thousands of miles we need good sturdy feet mama why these ugly eyelashes on our eyes hey in the Sahara Desert there are sandstorms if we wouldn't have this protective gear we would be blinded as we trekk thousands of miles through the Sahara Mommy why these ugly humps why can't we just have flat handsome attractive backs huh in the desert there's no water do you know that camels are the only mammals who can go for weeks and months without water without food how because it's these grotesque humps that Reserve all this fat and it gets dissolved if we got no water camels can go for weeks for months sometimes without water amazing Mama one more question I got it three to ugly feet to March thousands of miles in the desert ugly eyelashes to protect us from the sand TOS as we go thousands of miles in the desert grotesque humps to contain all the fat as we travel thousands of Ms in the deserts without food or drink Mama one last question if so what in the world are we doing in a cage in the Bronx Zoo that's the question everybody faces at what one point or another what does it mean when the tal says some people have the afterlife here it means that every morning when they wake up they ask that question what am I doing in a cage in the brang Zoo when I was called upon to be an ambassador of infinite love light and hope thank [Applause] [Music] you this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small cont contribution at ww.the usa.net donate