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What Can TANYA & Pnimiyus HaTorah Offer You? Rabbi Naftali Silberberg #215
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Rabbi Naftali Silberberg on Let’s Get Real with Coach Menachem Bernfeld Sunday January 5, 2025 #215 What Can TANYA & Pnimiyus HaTorah Offer You? - Can It Guide You Through Life’s Challenges, Bring Profound Meaning to Your Journey, and Strengthen Your Emotional and Mental Well-Being? Join Rabbi Silberberg's classes: https://linktr.ee/letstalktanya
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
hi everybody Welcome to tonight's share
with Coach B thank you for joining us on
this freezing cold winter night January
5th tonight is sheer
215 and I always start off every week
first thanking all the people that come
here every week posted on their statuses
and let people know about it and we have
amazing speakers we have therapists
different different people all walks of
life different topics and we're here to
really have a place to talk about things
if wants to join our WhatsApp chats get
WhatsApp me at 732
314710 I'll send you the link to the
community chats that's where all the
information goes and um we'll also post
it in the chats as well um again for all
the people that watching the replay of
this on YouTube you can click on the
Subscribe button so every week uploads
the videos you get notification of it
you could also
um you could also uh click on on the
like button want to thank all the
advertising sponsors Lakewood Scoop here
in Lakewood Ellen Ariel for Five Town
Central k from jcn just a few things
that quickly uh encapsulate we always
started this year we started actually
originally at 10:00 and then we moved it
to 9:30 it's been like that for many
many years and now without really much
notice we just switched it to 9:00 so
going forward hopefully the sh will be
at 9 o'clock there might be one sh
coming up that will be at 8:00 that's a
technical thing but for now every night
every Sunday night at 9 o'cl everybody
enjoyed the Kan vacation with the family
didn't have a share last week and again
if anybody's here the first time every
Sunday night now at 9 o'cl different sh
different topics next week January 12th
we're gonna have another
sh tated but not t actually um we're
actually doing a nutrition share by
Nutrition By by Tanya her name happens
to be Tanya and we're going to be
talking about health and General
Nutrition it's called tan versus asmic
the shocking truth about weight loss his
motivation really just baloney find you
fire she reveals the secrets on how to
really lose weight and keep yourself
healthy which I think is a very
important topic something I'm very into
now recently so that's why it's a very
important topic to me at least okay and
M please join us should be very
important for
men for women we need to be healthy so
please join us next week we gonna start
off first tonight with an opening with
Coach bfield
to pause pause first we're gonna give
the
gatria tonight share 215 every week we
have a gria TI into
the and on a side note the she is
be father
my father
who this
Thursday shom everyone to number
25 what
can offer you through
learning it would lead you to realize
that hem is our father and King in all
aspects of our life which leads us up
for tonight's gatria of 215
equals Our Father our
King right beautiful see that's why we
waited for
now
sorry all the people that listen to this
now live and all the people later okay
we're gonna turn over to coach BF what
are we doing
here amazing great question welcome
everyone to another let's get real with
Coach tonight we're doing number
25 as always hopefully everyone had a an
amazing kanah was able to uh make the
the for theis to uh to be able to
continue everything that we got on KH
for the rest of the
year which we'll hear more
tonight but it's a big to have
zberg I've been on your chats since uh
it's I think it's a year now in Tanya
and it's it's a fascinating topic and
that's exactly why we're here tonight so
discuss what is
Tanya um we know we've had many programs
on
P and
Asen especially before M comes there's
so there's a lot of things going on
trying to figure out what's going on in
the world trying to make sense out of it
and then there's the individual every
person trying to figure himself out more
the you know healing
or meaning which we've had many programs
about just trying to figure out where am
I where am I with
Hashem and um trying to make sense out
of it and not always is it easy growing
up in Yesa you know learning mus
learning gar sometimes you know it's
very Gat but we have a hard time
connecting on
understanding and for those who grew up
with you know sometimes able to
connect others they know the concepts
but not always does it really talk to
them to be able to really understand
where am I so there's all different
types and it's important before we start
just to know where am
IUS in general do some people feel stuck
they've maybe tried many times and gave
up thinking this is what it is this is I
guess you know if this is what everybody
else is doing I'll try to be like
everybody else
others are still searching they're not
giving up they're searching and
searching trying this out trying
that but for some reason not not
understanding you know number one what
am I looking
for the you know there's some feeling
that we have but what is it and uh not
always do we understand many of us would
find it in Goa books maybe going to
different seminars
and uh I've heard from many they find
amazing insights and ideas by the go and
then before they know it they start
learning the or some saer and they say
wow we have it by us and there something
also we discussed something that many
times you have to go out to find it by
us if you grow you grow up with
something and you get used to
it so in general talking about a ye on
this world
connecting to Hashem it's all it's
really all
spiritual you don't see you it's
auna and then when we have questions you
have to know how how to deal with it how
do I
connect so basically in general there's
a lot of questions some people have come
to Clarity you know they found that
safer that talks to them and slowly
they're like oh finally I'm finding
myself I could understand why I feel
this way why I'm having these ups and
downs and you learn how to deal with it
and others are not there yet and that's
this is what we're looking for so lot of
tonight and Tanya is one of many he what
Tanya is all about um really break it
down to beginners somebody who has never
learned Tanya before what is Tanya why I
learn Tanya what will it give me and
then take the discussion wherever it
takes
us thank you for the beautiful opening
again so tonight sh we title it what can
Tanya offer you can it guide you through
life's challenges bring profound meaning
to to your journey and strengthen your
emotional and mental wellbeing just to
mention a little background over here I
got a text from somebody about daily
Tanya
share gives on WhatsApp so I get on
WhatsApp he has it on YouTube and he has
it on all the platforms met will post
the links that people want to sign up
it's about four minutes on average and
he really goes through the whole time
every year and um it's something very de
and very very profound a lot of Concepts
in there I've only heard few you know
things here and there actually some of
the questions some of them are M you
know the B the this you know all these
different words that we know but um it's
something that I always wanted to learn
I wasn't brought in the world of or that
I really was brought up with it so I'm
really not familiar with it but I think
that if we could take a few minutes a
day and listen to the recording and
really get into it and every year at
least one time finish it it's not
something you could like learn on your
own there are English books I just I
tried it once or twice I just didn't
find like I grasped it properly so I
thought it was just something so right
when the thing started I thought it was
a new thing but I reached out to but
it's he's already on his third cycle so
will post the things I'm G Read's bio
and then re will open it up re
silverberg is respected lecture and
author are celebrated by his unique
ability to apply his Timeless teaching
to of Torah andas to the Contemporary
challenges his presentations Inspire
personal growth and are characterized by
clear reliable language that resonates
with the diverse audiences that's why it
comes we have diverse audience as the
co-director of the curriculum
development department at the RO Jewish
learning Institute jli the world's
largest provider of adult T
education Robert silverberg plays a
pivotal role in shaping transform
transform transformative learning
experien as a passionate Torah Scala of
Tanya silberg has taught his foundation
work I this to a wide range of audiences
for over two decades he's also the host
of Let's Talk t let's get real let's
talk t a daily popular podcast prays for
its Clarity relevance and ability to
connect the listeners with a profound
teaching cus and I I encourage everybody
listening to this to please join the
daily Tanya share that will change your
life and we will send out the links so
everybody can join I'll post it to to
the chat silberg an honor to have you
tonight the floor is
yours thank you sh thank you coach and
Andi and everyone else who's who's here
so let's get
real so you talk about let's get real
one of the big Ideas this talk about P
one of the big Ideas is the idea of
let's get real meaning that whenever
we're learning something in t we're
never learning about someone else about
somewhere else about someplace else
about
um something else you're not learning
isn't a place and
isn't a person although obviously m is a
place and is a person and when you're
learning about the a cow and and a
everything is about yourself you're
always learning about yourself and if
you're learning something in and you
don't realize yet how you're learning
what you learning is about yourself
you're kind of missing one of the big
points so that's the let's get real that
whatever we're learning it has to be
real in your life there's always it's
always something about about
yourself um and nevertheless and that's
that's in general specifically but
within that t we'll talk about it more
specifically soon but it holds a very
specific space in that area and that if
we're talking about let's get real you
don't get more than Tanya in the area of
let's get real because Tanya is really
about reality um it's not about
pretending that
we're or aspirations that are
unreasonable or expectations that are
that unrealistic it's very much about
reality so I know that we had a
wonderful gatria of V malano for 215 but
still I would say that it's high time
that let's get real has a Tanya um a
Tanya segment because it's Mish uh it's
in the same Lane anyway so just uh a
little about myself and how I got into
into this uh into the into the Tanya
industry as they would say so I um I
grew up actually in Michigan where my
parents are schim in Westfield Michigan
that's suburban suburban Detroit my
father's aov over there and then when I
became became a Bak
I did the circuit went to different Yas
New York
Canada and then I got married and I
started teaching and one of the things
that I started teaching was
Tanya I was teaching in a missa here in
in K heist in
Brooklyn so you are you're from Lakewood
right both coachi from Lakewood so I
have a lot of family actually in
Lakewood and I remember back so this is
going back a little more 20 years ago I
remember the once I was telling one of
my aunts in leid that I teach Tanya in
the M over here and she told me wow that
must be such an easy job because Tanya
such a revered safer by in laich that
I'm sure that when you teach it no one
is making any trouble and everyone's
listening and with the utmost respect
and reverence Etc and I kind of got a a
chuckle at that a good laugh at that and
the truth is that although the world has
to discover
also has to discover and that that I
found out and interestingly as a when I
was learning as
a t wasn't appreciated the way it should
be
even you know it's
taught 15 16 17 and then you move on you
move on to the deeper know the hundreds
of and is considered to be more
Elementary
and when I was I wasad actually when I
was I was 18 years old and I decided
that I'm actually going to start
learning Tanya well and really you know
you know the understand it well which
was like an individual project that
wasn't something which was common
actually in yis at that
time and kind of fell in love with the
tanas I fell in love with with the safer
I started teaching it and I started
teaching it more and more and then
eventually I um okay I moved from
teaching I I I went to I started working
for a few years I worked in kab.org as a
writer over there and then where I am
right now which is jli which we we PR
around the world also along along with
that I started just the teaching T many
different places um I taught in in
Flatbush there's a um actually a mo
called the B Library so for eight and a
half years I taught there and I finished
T an hour week every single week
Thursday night and finish all time the
whole thing's also online and a lot of
different St and and other places I
teach over here in the seminary in K
Heights over here in Bish Seminary I
teach Tanya just this past Thursday
night I started a new Tanya with a you
know over here uh it never gets old and
obviously then then two around two years
ago so I started this let's talk T this
uh every day because the the previous
the he divided T according to the days
of the year so that you learn a little
segment probably around average of three
qus of of Tanya every day this way you
finish it every single year so I did one
for the entire I I did one for an entire
year and then for the next year because
sh sh is a
different and um
and Tanya is having a Renaissance these
days outside of laich and within laich I
can't tell you the amounts of people who
have reached out to me who talk about
how their lives have been changed by
Tanya in very very drastic ways and uh
it's amazing this this to be able to be
some sort of a channel a cond to be able
to give over this incredible safer which
we'll talk about more what it is as as
as as we as we go on but if I could say
one story before before before we get to
the facial inion there was a whose name
was past talkinging 20 years ago his
name was
gari and this
gari so he was a big
Mah and also many which not everyone is
is so so meticulous about he was very he
was a big M so one of the that he was it
says the that if you leave your house to
go off on a on a trip you don't go you
don't go back home until you you've
arrived at your destination once you
leave your house you don't go back home
until you've gone to your there and then
you come back home so there people who
do this therefore if they go outside and
they they're leaving somewhere they
realize they forgot their keys they
won't go back in last someone El for
example they got their keys so he once
he was going off on a business trip
and he went to the airport he lived here
in New York in CR Heights he went to the
airport only to find out that the flight
was
canceled and he doesn't know what to do
should he should he go back home maybe
he should get a hotel room because
flight is the next morning he had a
special relationship ship with the reab
he was he was able to call and get
responses and he called up from the
airport he called up the rebba secretary
and says I'm here in the airport here's
the story I don't know whether I should
go home or I shouldn't go home because
I'm usually meticulous and I follow
this from
the so the secretary told him to hold on
the secretary went into the Reb and
asked what that what what what he should
do secretary came back and he
told said theb said as follows you
should learn a
p and then you can go home because when
you learn a per time you become a new
person so the person who left home isn't
the same person who is right now going
back and said and this this it's not a
joke I mean it's
serious that's Tanya you you learn you
learn a pic and you learn it well you
become a new person so talk about the
transformative you have it right there
and as I'm sure as even he procees we'll
talk more exactly about the nature of
what Tanya is and in what ways it is
transformative
okay so we're going to get into it right
now we're going to start with first
before we even get into what T is and
all the questions people have we're
going to take a four question poll this
is a very philosophical program so you
know keep in mind that okay here we go
it's a four question poll everybody
answer to the best of your ability here
we go first question do you believe it's
important to learn T four possible
answers yes it's essential for spiritual
growth
yes but only when one is significantly
high in spiritual level there was always
like a concept that when a person
reaches 40 or does this amount to
learning or finish that's when you start
learning you know number two no focused
on reveal is enough just to learn is
enough or number four I'm not sure
that's the first question second
question is doing what hem wants of us
all the time practical
aspiration so of course everybody going
to say yes that's that's what would be
practical the question is practical not
what we should do is it practical in
myself is it practically we should
always be doing the right thing and
doing the yes option number two for many
people perhaps but not for me option
three it's not realistic for the mass
vast majority of
people number four is I don't know third
question this world is what what what's
your Tye how do you
explain a a place filled with that we
need to overcome so we can get to the to
the the world to come or be the purpose
of all creation this world is the
purpose of all creation or three this
world is a beautiful garden right
bani or d a confusing Place filled with
spiritual
pitfalls and the final
question talk about philosophical when
you look in the mirror looking back this
is not from the what's it called
Cinderella when you look in the mirror
looking back at you is a a perfect
person b a flawed person c a normal
person or D it's too painful to look in
the mirror this is not related to the
share next week with the weights this is
just
general every ready answer those four
questions and then we'll review them
with
Umali and then anybody who wants to ask
a Live
question who learned T multiple times
probably thousands of times millions of
times who gives the she to thousands of
people so any question you could have on
spirituality or something you know on a
spiritual or anything
in okay here we go three more
seconds okay first question do you
believe it's important to learn T 63% of
people here believe yes it's essential
for spiritual growth 3% say yes but only
when one is on a spiritually high level
7% no focusing on the revealed ter is
enough 27% the people are not sure to
any answer on this any
opinion uh I I I like the yes I like
number one I'm not sure if I agree with
the reason it's essential for spiritual
growth I think there are other reasons
also but I definitely think that
everyone should be learning yes okay
number two is doing what has wants to us
all the time practical practical
expectation aspiration so 60% of people
feel we should always be doing what's
right all the time sound like OCD
perfectionist like we should be perfect
I don't know only 8% for many people
perhaps not for me 21% it's not
realistic for vast majority of people
10% I don't know enough T I find that
very interesting I find the answer is
very interesting um I think the answer
is yes but it's not so simple I as we'll
see soon Tanya is really based on this
very question of is it practical and how
is it practical uh the fact that 60% of
people say yes is pretty awesome I like
that um and I wonder if if those 60% if
it's a practical expectation aspiration
so are they Tak doing that and if not
why
not okay third
question this world is 41% of people
believe it's a place filled with
challenges that we need to overcome so
we can
get 41% of people tie both 41% the
purpose of all creation only 6% of the
people believe it's a beautiful garden
and only 11% of people feel the feel
it's a confusing Place filled with
spiritual pits I'm tell you this
is yeah the answer is all the
above okay so we're gonna get into that
and the fourth question is when you look
at the mirror they're all correct I
guess the bigger question is what's
supposed to be our primary perspective
when we look at the world but they're
all correct these are every single one
of these answers is correct abouta yeah
when you look in the mirror what's
looking back at you only 2% of people
say a perfect person 60% of people say
we should always do everything 100%
right but only 2% of people believe when
they look in the mirror it's a perfect
person so I'm confused I don't know what
happened to the other 58% oh yeah 3% of
people a flawed
person 57% of people the number one
answer a normal person when they look in
the mirror they say oh normal person you
know the joke say the joke it's just a
joke so when you go to the mental W
right they always say the guy screaming
inside get get me keep me in here it's
not safe on the other side a bunch of
crazy people you know so I'm saying when
you look in the mirror looking back he a
normal person and uh the fourth answer
it's too painful to look in the mirror
10% any comments on this yeah there is
no right answer to this this is the
question is when you look into the
mirror looking back at you so if you
want to know what my what answer I gave
to that yeah
um aha well I be vulnerable enough to
say that my answer is number
four they say perfect
L Perfectly Imperfect a combination a
combination of two and three that would
be my answer and whoever the two% who
answered Perfect People by the way after
class we after this we me I'd love to
meet
you okay there's a few live questions
but I want to just jump into the first
question because it's the it's like
alive base and then we'll go into live
questions and there's a bunch of other
questions anybody has a question text
please feel free to ask first question I
would love to start with recently I
started exploring the deeper meaning of
Terra because I feel like something is
missing in my daily learning and ding
I'm trying out different speakers and
different books why is this search why
is this such an important and what makes
Tanya so unique in
P okay so Tanya is unique in
in and obviously every safer is unique
which is why it it's published because
someone feels they have something which
to to offer which isn't which is not in
found yet any other safer but when I
explain about batan you understand what
I mean about it's it's a unique genre
all of its own in order to really
understand that if you'll bear with me
for a second I want to give you just a
two- minute three minute history of what
Tanya is we'll give a little context
about the uniqueness of T so the
AL the author of the T the third
generation of so we have the founding
was by the B who passed away in the year
1760 and then the second generation ofus
the leader of the the leader ofus at
that time was the mag
and he was leader for around 12 years he
passed away in the year
1772 and the alter was a of
the and passed away in 1772 and at that
time there the the had many many he had
120 called holy the holy Brotherhood
holy Society we're talking about the
greatest sadim and the greatest go
talking about
and his
brother and his
brother and although he passed away
before the mag but we're talk just um
and more and more and
more and what happened was that after
the mid passed away
so the Eastern Europe was divided up
amongst the T amongst the amongst the
and each one of them became a Reb in a
certain area and the alter got white
Rush on Lithuania which was a huge huge
area it was the largest territory given
to any one of the and one of the primary
reasons is because the AL was a lak he
was Lithuanian see B and litvak actually
have something in common with each other
which is also why we we speak you know
our accent in speaking Hebrew and is the
same because the AL was in fact by the
he was known as when he when he was
by so he got he got this area a huge
area and because was such a big area and
also because he was a very charismatic
person and and a great leader he
immediately attracted we're talking
about tens of thousands if not more of
of and followers and he was in the city
of Le at that
time and you had thousands and thousands
of s streaming to the Al and each one of
them wanted to enter into we call to
talk to him and to pour out the heart
and ask for his advice in
the and eventually this became
impossible there were way too many there
were way too many
and um even the structure the
infrastructure Ofna wasn't big enough so
the the AL you had to make a lot of
rulle and severely limiting and um and
restricting and restricting
Yus
but what are the to do right now they
can't go into to ask them their
questions so therefore said I'm gonna
write a saer and this saer which is
called or better better better known as
tan Al tan isn't the official
name is as himself says in the in in the
what we call the compiler's introduction
to he says this safer is the answer to
all the questions in which people have
asked me and I know all your questions
and here all the answers to all your
questions in are all in
here and he says and if by the way and
if you can't find an if you have a
question you can't find the answer do me
a favor go to the the big
you know the the people who understand T
and they tell them what your problem is
and they'll show you in Tanya where the
answer is because every single question
in is answered in time so right away
over there we see this is unique you
have if you're familiar at all with with
you know that most again 99% of are
based on thees or based
on and their ideas they're ver they're
inspiring they're holy they're deep and
saying this sa over here it's not it's
not about to give you a art it's not
even to give you a fascinating idea it's
not to inspire you it's to help you in
your a in any issue you might encounter
any obstacle you might have any question
T is going to answer that question and
then writes he
says that this the book is the safer is
based on
the so this is you know the poll
question you asked earlier about is it
practical is is that a realistic
expectation you know that m is about to
pass away and he turns to and says I
gave you 613 mitz and I want you to know
that everything I told you
it's it doesn't it's hard to find a good
translation for it it doesn't mean easy
wasn't saying it's easy but he's saying
it's all practical it's
realistic and many people have an issue
with this although 60% I saw the people
here didn't have an issue with it but
many people that I know they
say uh didn't know my person he didn't
know my he didn't understand the trauma
that I had from my you know that I
experienced and that my father hit me
and that my teacher did this and my
social issues and my my Temptations and
my um my my character flaws etc etc and
you want me to do I can do most of it I
could do even all of it some of the time
but all of it all the time I don't know
how realistic that is and Dr comes along
and says this safer
is based on that we are going to teach a
person how they can become a master of
themselves in the
area and regardless of what the
challenge is regardless of what
adversity is you can be you can serve
that is in a nutshell that's what Tanya
is about which is why
Tanya is um we're going to focus mostly
in tonight on the first part of T tan
has five parts there but mostly will
focus on the first part the first part
is 53 chapters
53 and it's not a series of ver it's not
a series of ideas it's a structure it's
a building you start you start in
chapter one takes you to 5 three it's a
program I say it's a popular word a
program it's a program in life literally
which gives you a different perspective
a different mindset and that's a mindset
that allows you to overcome adversity
primarily internal adversity because
that's the biggest adversity that we
face but obviously also external
adversity and allows us to serve Hashem
regardless of what that is basically
what Tanya is and if you understand that
about t you get why it's a unique safer
um so we can have a whole different
conversation a whole other day we can do
you can ask your friend for a gatria
about another session about PR in
general we could talk about and why it's
important to learn PR and that's a whole
different conversation but today I
actually want to stay more focused on
which is a specific genre with it is
what does it mean and how is it possible
that what does teach us about being able
to serve hasem regardless of our
internal issues and struggles and
adversity wow I think I think even
before we go to any
questions um I think somebody try is
trying to find the answers they would
come to you you learned it already for a
while um for example somebody is having
a hard time connecting to Hashem
somebody for whatever reason they they
have a negative
outlook on that that whole connection so
they they where do they where they
number one is where do they start and
number two if you can tell us where
where they find answer I don't know if
you have the it's an interesting
question you're saying a person has has
trouble connecting to Hashem what does
that even mean the first thing that we
have to learn in Tanya is what does it
mean to connect to Hashem once you know
what it means to connect to Hashem then
you can say I'm having difficulty I'm
not having difficulty I think people
have different Illusions or imaginations
what it means to connect hashm and then
when they're not following that illusion
then they wor worried about their
connection so I can't even answer the
question what to do if you're having
difficulty connecting before we Define
what it means to connect us okay so
let's let's define it I most people grow
up you D to hasem some people hear the
concept of talking to hasem again not
everybody you know you D you
learn and whatever means while you grow
up you know you have to do Mitzvah
because your father is telling you you
have to and then whatever happens
happens so yeah let's define
it okay one of the biggest ideas of
Tanya is also one of the simplest ideas
and that is we connect to Hashem in two
ways
doing mitz and
learning there is no other way to
connect to has and any connection to
hasem that isn't by way of a Mitzvah
learning isn't a
connection it's uh it's a delusion as I
said earlier and when you learn when you
learn and you do a Mitzvah you are
connected so then we need to so you need
to re refine or your question a little
you want to know if a person has this
issue said but I don't feel that
connection why is that a
problem today we it's very hard to
continue um every day doing Mitzvah and
T if you're not connected whether it's
the feeling that they're looking for or
it's really the clarity of understanding
what you're saying that that means I'm
connected if we don't have that then
after a while you're like why what in
the world where am I what am I looking
for like
yeah there there's a lot there's a lot
on this topic but I think that some of
the topics we're going to discuss today
I would want to Circle back to this
question okay I think by the time by the
time we getting close to end of the
conversation we're going to have a lot
of information fil filled in which will
help us better better answer that
question what to do about the fact that
maybe I'm connected to the to Hashem but
I don't experience it I'm not feeling it
which makes my life difficult for me
what do we do about that that's a great
question so someone can keep notes over
here I I want to I would like to return
that a little later to that question
okay okay let's go to the first Live
question you done you're
on uh hello can you hear me I hear you
y so my question
is so the speaking to a person who has
the ability to have complete control
over his thought speech and
action how relevant is Tanya for a
person who struggles with a
psychological or psychiatric disorder
that would impair that
control okay that's a great question the
answer is T is relevant to
everyone and for someone who has a um a
psychological or psychiatric by the way
I just need to be upfront over here mean
to State the obvious that I'm not uh I'm
not a medical
professional um but if there's something
which
is chemically or something which is off
which is not allowing the person to be
able to to operate in a normal way so
then the person needs to figure out
whatever it is in the way of in order to
be able to find um relief from that
issue in order to be able to Le and to
do mitzah properly and by the way if a
person cannot find relief so then even
according to there's certain
dispensations for a person who um who
doesn't have the ability at the same
time at the same time there many it's
also it's not black and white as we know
there are some people who they're
seriously Dev you know they're diagnosed
they have disorders and some people uh
it's more you know it's more of a gray
area and by the way everyone suffers
from a little little here and a little
over there and everyone can benefit from
Tanya in combination together with
together with uh together with the
therapy um I was
actually I wasn't sure whether to to
tell the story tonight it's a little
it's a little private and even even with
even if uh you know I'm not going to say
any identifying information it's still a
private story but considering what you
asked I'll tell it to you a few years
ago I got a text from a woman a
rabbitson and um back and
forth she wants to thank me for my
Tanish
year she wants to know she can call me
she identifies herself her name her
location now for the people who know me
know I'm not I'm not a very social
person I'm not a kibitzer I'm not a smer
and the idea of sitting and answering a
phone and listening to someone me is not
something which is I find personally
very appealing so I tried to tomorrow
next day I'm busy but she was quite
insistent so I said okay so she calls me
up and she says I want to thank you for
saving my
life what's this
about um she was very very depressed to
the point of being
suicidal she a mother of many children
for from women rabbits like I said and
um she was going to therapy and it
wasn't uh it wasn't having the desired
effect and her father told her you need
to start
learning so she went
online and she found my tare and she
started listening to my
tare and she said that that together
with her therapy and her situation has
stabilized she says that she um her her
therapist was a firm lady she started
learning Tanya with her therapist
because her therapist was so was so
intrigued by this by this uh
transformation that went
on and uh her therapist encouraged her
to start actually giving a Tanya class
for women in the same situation so she
started teaching aanya class for women
also in in in a similar
situation um I think that maybe gives
you a little Clarity to what I'm talking
about and it was very she said that the
Tanya together with the therapy and she
had reached a place of stability by
and the way I understand it is when you
have and you understand why you're here
what your purpose is the mission your
importance you understand more about the
nature of your struggles why you're
having your struggles how to deal with
them so that is helpful for anyone now
there's certain people for them that
might be enough they might need also
other therapeutic measures um but Tanya
is as mentioned T is for everyone the
question is is that enough for everyone
maybe some people need some other
measures also but it's definitely for
every
here um so
maybe then let's just say you have a
person
who is struggling with um I don't know
insomnia that's causing him to not be
able to to DAV in BisMan at
all um and that's what he's that's his
current
struggle so I guess Al what kind of as a
m what would you tell such a such a
person how how should you view that
struggle there's there's it's very tough
to put that into into a two-minute uh
answer because there there there's so
many different angles over here number
one obviously you need to do whatever
you need to do in order to to be able to
um in order to be able to you know be
healed that's number one number two I
think that with the strategies that are
brought down in Tanya even with the
insomnia you'll be able to also D on
time because ultimately everything in
life is about priorities and Tanya one
of the strategies it gives you is the
ability to be able to take Mastery of
your life Mastery of your life means you
do things even when it's difficult to do
things that's number two number three um
someone who's undergoing uh something of
that sort is struggling also with a lot
of other things guilt which is number
one and there's a very big part of tan
which talks about how we deal with guilt
in a healthy way so that it doesn't
become
debilitating and there's also shame
which is a separate thing guilt is about
the things that I've done shame is who I
am and the my self- perspective and how
I look at
myself
and T perspective will help that also in
other if you I don't know if you're
talking about your Sol for they say
today asking for a friend but if you had
a clean state in other words this this
person had insomnia okay and the
question was am I going to D today it's
probably not so difficult for them to
wake up today D the problem is that
you're you're in a rut and therefore you
a rut and you're feeling the guilt and
you already gave up on yourself and
there's the shame that you're dealing
with also so therefore to properly
tackle what's going on over here it's a
combination of things that are needed
over here you need to know you need to
know how to deal with the guilt in a
proper way which again Tanya deals with
extensively you need to know how to deal
with the shame issue and the fact that
you look at yourself as somewhat
somewhat inadequate because of this you
need to also learn the strategies of how
to prioritize doing in order to make
sure that even when it's difficult
you're doing it and if you put you wrap
those three things together in a bow I
think you'll be in a very good place but
that's why you know it's very nice that
I'm sitting over here we're talking
Tanya but you can't expect that we're
goingon to have all the Solutions in
life in in two hours when course Tanya
but what I'm trying to to get across is
that here you asked a question and you
can see there multiple all of them
tackled and addressed directly by Tanya
because all of these are issues in
our okay let's go to the next question
okay okay here we
go thank you for taking my question um
actually I was so happy when Usher said
he was going to bring you on because I
listen to your Shir and M any time um um
many times I've been listening again and
again certain just doesn't end so I just
have a I'm
not and I learned T Mya even though it's
not that popular and I just have a
question in terms of the concept of
learning Tanya like at what point do you
need a rebi and I'll ask in what way I
mean I remember when I learned this 10
years ago you know without any R
something there's like certain parts you
know just uh
just gets a bit confusing you know okay
you learn about B and what a b is and
everyone could be a b but then
practically like for example we see
we're trying so hard I mean the Al said
it's possible to be a b every person
could be one we're just doing everything
and it's just getting us down and I'm
sure besides the emotional aspect like
what's the Mah or I remember I was
learninga and he said person should fast
this amount of times that amount of
times and then I was like okay even if
someone's too hard at least one time in
their life I don't remember it was 84
Tinus whatever it was misar and I know
the finally later on when I heard youu
the rebbit says he's supposed to givea
right for example but someone doesn't
didn't listen to the rebbit or didn't
know these artists from how much could a
person open the Tanya learn it by
themselves and you know they have a and
how much like T you have to you have to
have a Reby or someone to guide you so
you shouldn't end up in somewhere else
when you say when you say rebi I'm not
sure if you're talking about rebi like
in like in the sense of someone to teach
you the T make sure you understanding
well are you talk
about terms as like someone that makes
sure that you're not gonna go do 84 fast
someone either or whatever give give you
a Mahal a practical
Mahal the answer is very very very
important and that's not unique to
that's unique to every area of if you
have a will tell you that he learned
entire and all the and all of the the
Tris but he didn't but he didn't have
shim then you don't go to him and the
importance of having a certain M and
making sure that when you learn it
you're learning it according to the m
that's true when toate to every single
safer and especially if you're new so
it's like a new area it's a new field so
it's very important that that you're
being guided and make sure that your
understanding is is
correct thank you so
much okay now you're
mentioning not only with t to go get
Shish learn with somebody that knows
older generation I guess yeah yeah it's
true in every single area
of and the whole you know you talk about
the many the streams that left
conservative even more radical from one
of the big things is okay I could learn
the text by myself and I could then
understand and I could figure myself out
and no there the the that we
have was so important every single area
of you learn how safer okay so obviously
if I if I learned you know and I had and
I had so now I can go and I can Lear
another to myself doesn't mean that
you're stuck your entire life but the
you this in any given field in any given
area we need to make sure that it's it's
based on the true M that that we have
it's through in every
area and another thing that he mentioned
and somebody sent maybe we could talk
about it somebody sent me the question
the few times I studied T I read a lot
about B which I understood to mean an
average person like me someone who tries
to do good but sometimes makes mistakes
it seems like the B is a key Concept in
Tanya can you explain more about
this yeah okay that's a very that's an
important conversation to have so let's
talk a little about the
B the as we
mentioned Satan's they're five parts but
we mentioned that we're paying most
attention to the first part which by the
way also
um quantitatively is the biggest part of
t 53 53 chapters and the AL calls that
the book of so generally we talk about
we know there's aad there's the rash
there's the B which we understand as
thead is the the righteous person the
person who's you
knowes mitz and does a lot of and then
there's the wicked person is you know
someone somewhere in
between redefines the
B and but actually more important even
is redefining the redefines the let me
explain what I mean by that tells
us
that is divided into two types of
people and
quotes which supports what he's saying
there are certain people who are born
with very
highas and by the way this is a
minority say that
saw that there very
few took and planted a few in every
single
generation and these are very highas
that come down with this world and they
have the ability other words everyone
has free choice they can by the way just
because you have the of doesn't mean
that you can't end up being a russan you
could but these are people who because
they have very high shamas they have the
ability to become a sadic and what does
it mean to be a sadic a sadic is someone
who doesn't struggle
anymore a sadic is someone who is
completely suffused with and and
and and a person who doesn't all those
things that the average person you know
those issues that plague us the desires
The Temptations the laziness the
jealousy the pettiness the anger
management issues the the addictions the
the spiritual insensitivities has none
of that thead is they
say is a blaze
with with with love
for but most people cannot achieve that
level most people have another type of n
a type of which is a that will of a
person that will always
struggle will never be able will never
be able to S to say you know shatter
that glass ceiling and reach a place
where they no longer have to have have
to struggle yes we're going to struggle
we have it's a harder
and The Temptations and like I said the
laziness and the the the the the
jealousy and we have to deal with with
you know with anger and hatred and and
all these
things now in this category of
struggling people which again is most of
us
so what is our success rate if we have a
success rate of anywhere between 0% and
99.9% then Dr says you are Russia if
your success rate is
100% then you're abandoning meaning a
person who in behaviorally when it comes
to actually the way they behave they be
this despite their struggles they're
always doing the right thing they're
doing what once they're doing Mitzvah
learning staying away from a that person
is the B so to put it in different words
the B is someone who has self-mastery
despite their internal strife and the
Havoc that's going on inside and the
chaos that might be going on inside
sometimes and the struggles and
nevertheless that person is able to um
achieve self-mastery so if we go back to
what we said earlier what Al said the
purpose of T is said people are writing
me letters and people are coming into
they asking questions what do all these
questions boil down to all these people
coming to what are the issues boiling
what is boil down to I'm having trouble
serving the abish I'm having trouble
doing the right thing all the time and
say here I'm going to give you a book
that allows you to
become a b which means to have
self-mastery to be able to do the right
thing all the time I I'm G to show
you actually it's a act it's a practical
and a realistic expectation that 247 and
365 days a year you're doing what Hashem
wants from you and staying away from
anything else so that's the big idea in
Tanya and besides for the fact that is
going to say regardless of what you're
struggling with I am going to show you
you can manage the struggle effectively
and successfully and bottom line do the
right thing there's another two
underlying issues is number one Dr is
saying it's
fine it's fine to struggle and in fact
if you're upset over the fact that
you're struggling and if you have a
desire to be and you're you're you're
upset that you're not a
sadic so all you've done is you've set
yourself up for failure because as we
know that um frustration is the result
of not meeting your expectations and
when you set for yourself an unrealistic
expectation you're setting yourself up
for frustration so if you're struggling
in a certain area and you're like why am
I struggling in this area Al says why
are you struggling in this area because
that's who you are you're a struggler
like 99% of quality you're a struggler
and your job isn't to overcome the
struggle and to to the point that you
don't struggle anymore your job is
despite the struggle make sure that you
dove in every single morning in time and
and if your goal is that you shouldn't
struggle with it anymore that that's
unrealistic so that's number that's a
very important thing so actually we want
to get down to it number one Dr is going
to give us strategies and tools how to
be able to overcome the struggles and
again when I say word overcome you be
careful what I mean not overcome as and
get rid of the struggles but despite the
struggles to do the right thing that's
number one number two you should be at
peace with yourself with the struggles
understanding this is who you are this
is your mission this is purpose this is
your purpose it's fine and number three
if I could take it even a step step
further say something interesting he
says
the tells us that turns to to and says
when he wants to give him the he
says he says I want you to make for me
Delicacies the way I like
them and the Z tells us that this
statement of that tells to to as is
really as we know as we said earlier
nothing you know en everything we
learning yes it happened actually really
there was a physical person son but
everything is reflection of higher
realities this is the m
of this is hasem speaking to to her
children to us the speaking to us and
saying tells us I want you to make for
me Delicacies hasem turns to me and to
you and to you and to every single other
says I need you to to to to give me
pleasure by giving me Delicacies but
Delicacies is in
plural why is that says there two
different types of Delicacies that we
serve the aish just like when it comes
to food so um one time there's one class
or one genre of food that we enjoy is
sweet food we like cake and cookies and
candies and
whatever ice cream and then there is the
the Savory Foods we like CHS and
pastrami sandwich and pizza and
especially if you happen to be Moroccans
then you make sure that you add a lot of
on to it also and it's two different
types of pleasure because the abish D
also everything over here is a
reflection of spiritual real realities
because the abish D also there are two
different types of Pleasures that Hashem
gets one is a sweet pleasure one is
Hashem who gives Hashem ice cream who
gives a the lollipops that's because
their is sweet so therefore they serve
the
dessert the apple pie who but who serves
the aish the main course because main
course isn't sweet I know today like
sometimes someone will serve like
a a carrot cake in the middle of the
meal and say it's cougal because we
sering the meal it's sweet sorry that's
not cou that belongs in dessert it's
sweet the main course right is something
who gives the abish CH that's us the
ones who struggle because our the
service that we give the abish isn't
sweet our service is flavored by by our
Tears by our
sweats by our character flaws which we
have to battle in order to be able to do
it by the struggles that we
have but the abish loves that the abish
loves that he loves that justce as much
as he loves the so once we understand
that we understand it's fine that I
struggle
I'm not a less of a person because I
struggle that's my mission over here in
this world and the pleasure that I give
to abish is incredible when I overcome
every single time that despite the
struggle despite that I want to sleep
and I don't I wake up and I I want I'm
not interested in learning right now I
go and I I I learned I'm not interested
right now going and calling my my
parents
anding I do it anyways right all these
things tremendous pleasure that we give
the ab so it's not only the time to
gives you the strategies of how to deal
with the struggles but there's also the
emotional element which is it makes you
fine with the struggle just one you know
to conclude one one
story story it's anecdote there was once
who came to the was the third who was
the grandson of the
balat and he came into and he says to
this goes
well what should I do I don't have a
gmak in
learning what's in English
you don't feel the gak yeah well how do
you translate
gmak is like a pleasure it's a pleasure
enjoyment enjoyment passion passion oh
you have to sometimes you have take a
bunch of words and put them together to
get to get to one word and listen to
what the answered answered
him so what should I do I do have I'm
jealous because the pleasure that you
are able to give Hashem when you don't
have a g and you sit down and you learn
anyways that's a pleasure that I can't
because I'm a sadic he didn't say those
words but the idea is that that I am
deprived of that ability to give that
special unique pleasure now I just want
to say that every one of us also has our
Sweet Moments we have our sadic moments
we have those mits that we are that that
we don't struggle with and that's
amazing so we we we every single one of
us serves the Serv a diverse menu
but we shouldn't be discounting those
areas of struggle again there is a your
struggle is not is not uh is not the end
of the world there are ways to overcome
it gives us strategies in Tanya how to
manage the struggle and do the right
thing and also again the main thing is
how to be emotionally okay with it and
not to and how not to allow the struggle
to get you down because there's nothing
worse than being down because that's the
end of everything when a person falls
into you know the famous V says right
and many others you know all the Masters
say there's nothing worse than being in
a place of dejection and place of
negative emotions and we need to be
constantly we need to be to place of
positive emotions enthusiastic and
optimistic and and with a a positive
self-image and our struggles should not
get in the way with
them wa before we continue so you're
saying B is somebody who struggles
what's if I struggle and I
fall yeah I don't I don't hear the
question that was a statement no because
the way I understood B is somebody who
still has the struggles but he overcomes
the struggle yeah yeah so if you fall
that means right now not a b you still
have to they work to them so you don't
automatically become a Russian you do
oops I don't want to hear yeah work to
them I don't want to hear
that you don't want to hear that why not
because the the name
hurts I don't anybody wants to be hold
Russia right I get
that thank you for understanding no okay
I'm trying
to how to how to address this and I
think um you have to say that if in
today 2020 25 you have to find a
different name that's number one but um
to tell a person that's part of the
so not Russ if it's part of my
then hasem loves me because Russia to me
means doesn't like me Russia means I'm
an outcast that's the way I look at it
so your problem isn't the word Russia
your problem is all the associations you
have with the word Russia so that and
that's a problem and if you have all
those associations and maybe talking you
have to find a different name for it I
don't know maybe call it purple avocado
I don't know it doesn't have
associations but
um we have to jump into this a little
again a lot of these aren't necessarily
bar you know you said this going to be a
two-hour podcast I was like that's good
because a lot of these things are
require more than uh sound
bites the popular understanding of sad
before the AL came along is that these
are about
Behavior sad rash is about
Behavior sadic does a lot of mitz Russ
does a lot of a and is somewhere in the
middle and then if that's your
understanding of and that's not
necessarily a wrong understanding but
it's a different understanding of sad
BHA and then when someone comes along
and says hey you did one a you're a
Rasha you f you failed one what I'm a
Ras that's horrible right and it is if
you're following that definition but
redefines it why does redefine
it redefines it
because one of the big ideas in t which
I don't know if we're going to get to
we're not going to get to is idea of
versus as opposed
toar and what that means is that the AL
is more concerned
about your internal States than about
your behavior and I know you're GNA say
what do you mean isn't isn't MIT is what
it's all about and you just said earlier
that connecting to is about Behavior
yeah everything everything within
context the but the real true it all
comes down to Mitzvah and you have to do
Mitzvah from but the real Battlefield
thatb says is inside you it's an
internal battle that's going on and
that's the battle that you need to try
to
win what is this battle the battle
between what we call the
and it's translated The Godly soul and
the animal
soul and depending on where you are in
that battle you will be a sadic or a
billion or
Russia and the behaviors flow from where
you are and not they are the cause of
the name in other words you're not a
Russia because you do an
AA you do an a because you're a Russian
I know that sounds confusing but give me
give me give me two minutes I'll explain
what I mean to that
we have every one of us we have a Godly
soul and an animal Soul Godly soul is
all about Hashem animal soul is self-
serving we'll probably talk about that
more a little more in depth as I'm
assuming sometime over the next hour or
so
and when the when
the overpowers
theam it gains an edge an advantage an
unnatural Edge in other words somehow it
has compromised mam person is called a
now obviously that person is never going
to do any a because the is in
control if a person the neam has
taken the lead it is a little more
powerful than the that person is called
a
Russia and if there's a stalemate going
on where each one of them neither one of
them has managed to compromise the other
one at all that person is called the B
so again the sadic B Russia are all
descriptions of the the your the state
of your internal battle now if you are
in a place where neam is has is is has
taken control or has gained somewhat of
a advantage over the ne how's that going
to express itself it's going to express
itself the fact you're going to do Aus
how many Aus are you going to do how big
of a rush are you going to be well it
depends how big is the
imbalance how much how much more
powerful Isam than if it's much more
powerful then you'll do a lot of a
various very often if it's a very slight
imbalance but the just gained only a
little of a edge you'll do only small a
various only once in a while but Russ is
a description of that internal state
where your NE has been compromised the
theory of the AL is that if your NE are
both at full strength you will that that
is the B why because you and you'll
never do an a why because if they're
both at full strength then the always
will have the upper hand because what
called
the is based in the mind is based in the
heart the Mind enjoys a natural
superiority over the heart intellect
over the emotions so if the both are at
status quo the way at full strength that
person won't do an A but the B is not
aity because they don't do Aus they
don't do Aus because they're aity
because they're at that internal State a
Russia someone who will do an AO once in
a while because the neam has Tak is a
little more powerful which is why
they're called Rasha this
is more
powerful it's very important to redefine
our struggle in life as instead of will
I do this or not do that or will I do
that will I do the right thing or the
wrong thing takes us to a deeper place
and says the primary struggle is more of
an internal one it's more of an identity
one who am I am I identified with am I
identified with my and therefore he
redefined s and rash to fit what he
feels is the primary Battlefield in life
which is the battle between the now if
someone is used
to defining sad Russ in the behavioral
way as opposed to the internal way which
I just described and you tell the person
you're a Russia the person gets very
offended so and I understand why the
first pay of T actually Al it's very
interesting the first the first
like is Al trying to like restore to
factory settings he's trying to like say
you're understanding I need you to put
that aside I need to give you a new
definition because after knows if you're
operating under the old definition
you're going to get you're going to get
offended that's a long answer to a short
question and it was very deep but did
you did you get what I was saying no I
hear what you're saying you have to
redefine redefine the way we look at
Russia but to continue so basically most
of the people I know or myself I'm still
in that Russia stage because I do
struggle and I fall so the re with T is
going to teach me how to become a ban
yes
but yes but I but I also want to say
he'll teach you how to become a b but
there's a b in
general but more than that Tanya teaches
you how to be a in any area you'd like
to be for example example I would like
to give it so you say you you you say
that once in a while you fail in your
struggles right good okay join the club
I'm with you on that okay but at the
same time if on on ker afternoon at five
o'clock in the afternoon I were to find
out you know which show you diving in
and I would come with a piping hot
freshh pie of pizza and put it in front
of
you are you taking a slice no it has
your favorite toppings it's such a clear
Lan you would there's no sance right
there's no
chance but would you
salivate it would smell good if you were
a sadic by the way you would bre it
would you you you'd want to run off and
vomit right because a sad anything which
is against the is
disgusting so you're a b in that area
meaning that it's something I I would
love the pizza it tastes good but no way
how many other areas in your life are
there like that there are many areas as
a from right everyone has those areas
now take an area where you're not like
that take an area in your life where you
struggle and you you're not 100%
confident that you'll be able to
overcome that struggle every single time
but you want to become
in that area meaning you want to gain
self Mastery in that area Tanya has
their strategies what I'm trying to say
is you don't have to it's not an all or
nothing it's not I look at Tanya and say
oh I'm going to be gain self Mastery my
entire life because by the way you're
probably setting yourself up for failure
if you do that because that's too big
but what if you learn T strategies and
say okay so I'm struggling in this area
and in this area I'm a Russia meaning in
this area I my success rate is anywhere
between 0% and 99% because if I'm 100%
like Pizza on yum Kipper where your
success rate is 100% And you said that
and I believe you um I I want to I want
to add this area of my life into my B
column and by the way there's such a
thing also as even for us putting things
in a column
also I want to take something and I
might not be able to do that for
everything but there are certain things
in in my life I would like that I should
actually have a a and
and so we have you could talk about
three people people you can also talk
about them as you know in my life I have
different areas and I'm constantly
trying to shift things from one col to
the next Al said reasonable expectation
for any area of my life is to is B I
might not always succeed in in sadic but
B I can any area of my life I could be a
b in any area of my life if I follow the
strategies
us
saying everybody has different levels in
different areas in their life and you
can be all three in certain um ideas you
can be AIC certain different struggles
that you have you can be a b and then
there's those things that you are still
a Russia and working on becoming a b
that's a reality you know you don't have
to accept that as what I'm saying is if
you know yourself you know what I'm
saying is true and true about myself
sorry no hearing it in a way that that's
part of our av yes well yeah
because there are many and I I would ask
you the next questions how do they teach
to young
kids um because everybody struggles and
we the younger generation we try you
know always want them to do the right
thing and when they fall you know right
and wrong
so understand that's part of it and it's
okay okay it's not okay to fall and a is
not
fine oh well
ever why is there however because we all
do okay that doesn't make doesn't make
it
okay it's it's a very nuanced topic
deals with this Al has a very radical
understanding of this Al says and which
is he says if you're feeling guilty
about an a you have done you should know
it's toxic it's
thear throw it out that guilt if if that
feeling happens upon you or comes to you
the only legitimate guilt that there is
remorse that there is is remorse that
you
schedule and that you give it a time a
beginning time and an end
time and also tells us what that remorse
is supposed to look like
exactly anything other than that it's p
it it's the slippery slope and it'll
take you straight to
G to put it in different words I mean I
want to put this in radical words
imagine
a the am the beard the P the whole
everything I'm going to get a little
graphic here hope you don't mind walks
by a
McDonald's and not McDonald's Avenue in
bar Park on
McDonald's and uh some reason can't hold
himself in runs in buys a cheeseburger
and eats the
cheeseburger finishes the
cheeseburger and then he's
like okay
what in the world I just do and
distraught so what does he do obviously
if he's he runs into the because that's
what is
way said every time that you learn
you're going into that's what it is he
runs into say I just had a cheeseburger
what should I do I feel terrible what's
Al gonna answer what ises Al answer he
says Al says oh you at a cheeseburger I
need you to put that out of your mind
right now go to the B sit down with a
sit down with
a and start learning and forget about
that you did it and then by kishita
tonight and schedule for yourself 10
minutes to think about it and to cry
about it and also I'll tell you what
you're supposed to be thinking about
then you're not supposed to be thinking
about yourself and what kind of loser
you are you're supposed to think about
the
words think about the because it's not
about you the biggest problem is when we
make it about ourselves and then move on
knowing that forgave you so you notice
over here we have incredible balance on
the one
hand we can never say an a is fine a
isn't
fine but at the same time there's a
very specific way and healthy way
spiritually and emotionally healthy way
how to deal with it and how to move past
it because the problem that Europe I
think you're saying is that bottom line
is people they how do you say they get
they get they get they they they drown
in the guilt
but the way to undrawn a person is not
by saying it's fine because it's not
you're fine what you're
fine fine but
you're you yeah yeah no no okay okay
there is a very important thing remember
I said earlier there's between guilt and
shame right guilt is about what I've
done and shame is about who I am when
you say you're fine what does that mean
you're fine let's go back to the
cheeseburger analogy the biggest thing
bothering the person isn't even so much
that they ate the cheeseburger if you go
a little deeper what's what's what's
bothering that much more is that I a
personal ate a
cheeseburger meaning I'm such a lowly
person that I had that that I had that
desire that's Returns the person and say
no no no no you're 100% normal there's
no such
thing as as a struggle which is abnormal
there's no such thing as a struggle
which makes you flaw because the ab who
who who made that struggle who gave you
that struggle the aish
and the abish doesn't create garbage
whatever hasm creates is perfect so if
hasm created you with that struggle that
means that you're perfect with that
struggle and everything is fine now the
problem is that you didn't manage that
struggle and you fell but that's not a
problem with you that's a problem with
the prob what I'm saying there there's
that line the problem is what you did
not who you are you're fine you are
exactly who the aisher created and
therefore you're gold you're perfect now
you did something wrong that you have
you have to wipe it off and move on
there's nothing wrong with you that's
correct yes there's nothing wrong with
you for having that struggle and it
doesn't make difference what that
struggle is by the way you go to Every
wasone was listening to this whether
it's live or after you have to know
regardless of what you're struggling
with the abish there gave you that
struggle and there's nothing wrong with
you that's number one and number two if
the aisher gave you that struggle that
means that you can manage that struggle
because the aish wouldn't give you a
struggle you can't
manage and number three what we said
earlier the the pleasure that the a
against me when you manage that struggle
is through the roof the is pleasure was
jealous of that pleasure that you
give but I think I think this is like
fundamental for a lot of
people um people who have given up a
long time already because they didn't
see themselves um you know managing and
taking it back to the connection to
hasem the in their in their eyes they
were you know disconnected or not wanted
it wasn't working out so with all their
struggles it might have been many years
ago maybe when they were younger and a
belief that I guess this is who I am and
gave up already so I think what you're
saying is very is fundamental is very
important and we we have to sit on it
before we continue just the idea to
understand first of all what does AEM
wants from you and if you're going
through the struggle this is exactly
what Hashem wants and yes you will fall
doesn't mean it's okay to fall but
you like like you mentioned like hasem
still loves you I think that's something
that a lot of people have a hard time
with yeah
but you think about Hashem loves you
hasem loves every single Yem loves every
single lot of people claim they have a
hard time based on maybe the parents or
their teachers that they didn't get the
feelings from the adults in the room the
people that they grew up with and now
tell them that hem loves them is very
hard to get back and that's the
recycling to my first question to
learning Tanya learning these ideas that
hasem loves them but they don't really
believe yeah there is no question a lot
of people have these issues they have to
get by they have to get over it but I I
want to also he's saying that Hashem
loves us just give me mind
second um
few weeks ago I went I visited a Yesa
somewhere I sat with the
staff and uh I asked the staff over
there like what is
uh you know what makes your
unique
what's and one of them told me that you
know we're busy telling everyone how how
great they are and how amazing is
because they have a
n and it bothered me a little because
when you tell me I have a how do I take
that
usually I have a yeah inside me I have a
was holy I'm garbage but I have a
a it could be interpreted that way
Hashem loves me is a commentary on
Hashem it's not a commentary on me
if you tell me I have I have struggles
Hashem loves me loves me even though I
have struggles so okay so I'm I'm still
garbage and Hashem because he's so great
he loves me anyways but that doesn't
leave me feeling good why would I feel
good by
that that's like case that makes me into
I want to take it past the Hashem loves
me I want you to know that who you are
is perfect not only that Hashem loves
you despite not it's not a despite
Hashem created you with struggles cuz
that's what he wants and when you your
service of Hashem with your struggles is
not any less than the service of a sadic
that's a different vert than Hashem
loves me that gives me
value you're following what I'm
saying who I
am yeah like I have it's not first all I
I told the teacher it please don't tell
just don't just tell your students to
have a n tell them they're
talented tell them they
have practically right and and things
that they could look at themselves and
not only oh I have this
like ambiguous Nish which you know which
makes me precious so me me and my
personality and I I'm not really capable
or anything but I have no no
you you're
amazing you're sh Express itself in the
fact that you are amazing
I know we're going from thing to thing
to thing but uh is it that I'm I am the
a
shama that's an interesting question
some people like to say it that
way it's a complicated question the
answer is yes and no your deepest your
deepest you is your the problem though
is that that's not the default you when
we when we wake up in the morning and we
like um I want this I want that me me me
me me and all you know the things that
make us operate and TI throughout the
day that's not the
that's our defaults and requires to
shift us from the to our real self which
is the so the real deepest me is
my but at the same time that's not going
to be expressed in my reality unless I
do the a of making that
shift you have to get there so if to
sleep by the
way what o are we putting you to sleep
like uh you're still with us oh um my my
NE close is fully
away okay I see even with the coffee
even
okay so if I feel it's not it's not
that's a misunderstanding that's behind
this so and we if somebody feels
unworthy somebody doesn't looks in the
mirror and doesn't see nice things over
there which part of to should they run
to which with where should they
go so there obviously the I I can argue
the all hotan is about that if you want
specifically and if you uh if you want
you can go Tora anytime and look up
chapter 27 N I have my classes on it and
uh very very powerful on this
topic
wow Rober Sil let's go to uh the next
question hiar
hi hi by the way I enjoy your um your
YouTube video a lot I I watch it I watch
it every day and I did have like a
question I work with all you know first
of all I study the Tanya at Daily I live
I live in Crown Heights um but I work
with all different kinds of Jews and I
mean I used to get a lot of flack about
you know Tanya and habad but how do how
do I argue the difference like approach
say with wer or hakir I work with
somebody who's loves my modities he's
said rationalist you know how would I
how could I explain that you know my
preference for my Approach over the
others I mean have I have respect for
muser I really you know you know there's
I know there's classic muser different
volumes and you know of course the ROM
but how do you how would you explain
that uh to someone like that uh you know
the differences and why I feel that the
Tanya's I don't want to say superior but
I just really think that something is
missing if you don't study it uh that
you know so how would you I
mean do you find yourself sometimes on
the defensive when you have
to explain the the
t i i i very very much stay away from
the defensive yeah and um I I I this you
know I mean I don't tell somebody you've
got you should learn Tanya but I'm just
saying that you know but I always feel
that there's something there that you
like you said it's really that you're I
think whenever you're busy trying to
convince someone about what you have is
better than what he or she has you're
you're already lost before you started
yeah it's not uh no no one wants to hear
that first of all I think there's
something about if we could keep this
conversation to Tanya as opposed to the
general studying ofus which is as I in
the beginning I said you know talk about
import is a topic all for itself um
and I I don't want to do that today
because then that that would detract
from again what Tanya is
specifically but um in terms of what
Tanya is you can instead of saying that
oh mus isn't this andir isn't this here
is what Tanya is Tanya is and everything
that we're talking about over here and
it's a path for serving Hashem and if
someone who struggles is the path for
them and if that talks to the person
great and I think that it'll talk to
many people people today you
know we we live in a world where where
you know whereas 20 years ago 30 years
ago Tanya was for labers and today
there's becoming that recognition that
there's something very special that the
world is ready is ready coming to accept
that and I don't think it's because
people had arguments and explain to them
why it's Superior just you know talk
about it what it for what it is and I
think that the product sells sells sells
itself yeah just one of question what
about explaining even to a
non-jew I don't mean just somebody who's
interest in conversion but somebody
would wonder that you know he you know
he's tries to live a righteous life on
his level but he's not a Jew Andia
teaches really the specialness of a Jew
I I I have that in my writing you know I
work with the Library Association and I
have to deal you know when I review
paciic books I mean do you I don't know
do you ever come across that I mean it's
a question for r i mean we're not we
don't teach that's a general rule there
are Exceptions there are parts of T
which um could learn because it's it's
relevant to them like I'm pretty sure
that I saw that said the second part of
T which is
about could learn that because are
commanded to believe in h but the part
of we're talking I'm not sure you have
to ask whether that's fine even to to
give that yeah they seem aware of a Shem
I mean you know many and and you could
be a good person not be
Jewish I think yeah so I don't know if
that's a way to approach absolutely but
there are things things that are for GR
and again the first part of I'm not sure
of that for oh okay thank you thank
youber uh let's let somebody sent an
email I've been feeling sad at times
especially since October 7th I stopped
watching the news I feel a lot better
but whenever I see Israeli news or
anything happening the World especially
with all the C going on all the chaos
going on I get very sad it and you know
I was wondering if I learned Tanya can
this help me with this general feeling
of depression of the mat over the
world
yes plan oh Tanya absolutely can help
you but let's talk about this a second
okay we're eing so as a we
know whatever whatever happens the runs
the world is
good
or right so how is it that a yid from
y isn't happy all the time so what
happens in Israel is very
painful obviously and there are
manyas and we should have vaniga and
absolute n over our enemies uh
incredibly crushing victory
destroying them
all and we have to be determined to do
that but at the same time as you we know
that whatever happened again whatever
happened already and everything's from
hem and is the how is it that a Jew is
be how is that a is
depressed that's a that that's that's a
question I'm actually asking you a
questioni what do you what do you think
the answer of that question is
because at the end of the day we're born
as human beings and hasm made it like
that we have uh those
feelings one of the it's one of the of
the Bri right right but it doesn't have
to be that way so what so if now I would
like to actually zoom out a little I
want to zoom out and talk a little about
tell now we're talking about I want to
talk a little
about what what is the theory ofad you
know stands for
so does that mean that we're a bunch of
intellectuals that if you want to be
become you know join men and become
become aik you know because we have high
IQ why we call you you know we're busy
with the mitzah tanks well you know what
does that do what intellectual
faculties kabad is a theory which was
Advanced by the alter this is you know
he was one who founded the founded the
idea of kabad which is very similar by
the way to um cognitive behavior therapy
what is cognitive behavioral therapy
cognitive behal therapy means it's a
behavioral therapy which means that the
purpose is that there's a certain
pathology in the behavior there
something wrong whe whether the person
has a sleep disorder or it's OCD or it's
panic but the end of the day the issue
is we need to deal with the
behavior so how do we deal with the
behavior so the recognition is that the
behavior is rooted in a faulty emotion
and how do we fix the emotion
cognitively by rewiring our thought
patterns by the way we speak we fix the
feeling and we fix the feeling we are
going to automatically fix the behavior
this idea is directly plagiarized from
kabad because that is really what kabad
is all about what does kabad mean kabad
means that if I want to holistically
transform myself so how does it start it
starts in the head it starts by learning
it starts by understanding not by
inspiration by the way which is what
makes different than all the
other all the other books of sidus and
by the way this is not about what's
Superior or not Superior this is a we're
drawing a contrast and each one has
everyone has their
own is is the idea that if I fully study
something well and I understand it well
and then I take time to think about it
that's going to ultimately that filters
down to my emotions and creates and
generates emotions that are compatible
or along the lines of that which I
understand which automatically is also
going to change my
behaviors you follow that ushi so far
yep
so why is it that I can know but I'm
still depressed the answer is because
someone threw the words G me a million
times but I never understood
it so there's always parts to me that
are resisting it and it doesn't it never
really entered my heart and and
therefore my behavior also be impacted
in all these things because now you open
up a chapter 26 by the way if you want
and talks about how to deal with
which means negative emotions that come
from when a person has serious issues
serious challenges even tragedies and
and explains it well what does it
mean understanding what it means in the
higher world and how that relates to us
and if a person takes time to learn it
to understand it and
then marinate in it and kind of let it
sink in that is going to change the
person's state of being so the simple
answer is gam the reason why G is
doesn't work is because it's not being
done in aabad way and if it's not being
done in kabad way it's much harder to
maintain that then you like need
injections you know on a constantly like
inject like me I'm gonna say it as a
mantra or I'm going to sing a
song and that'll have an impact in me
for a little while but if you want
to organically transform yourself that
requires starting on the top we call
what I call for that reason trickle down
spiritual nomics you start at the top
you start in the head and understanding
it and that impacts the emotions and
then automatically the behavior follows
it okay I want to get to two things
quickly um number
one um somebody texted before you said
the only way to connect to hem is to Via
daving
and he
said did I hear wrong he said I said now
we connect is a mitah so people asking
there's other let's say we discussed
before working on your Midas working on
your traits and the different things
that they're having a hard concept
they're other things people could do
that are also feel connecting are you
saying that the only way really to
connect is when somebody's somebody
works on gets up early pushes himself
and does something you're saying it's
all tied into Mitzvah if they're wake up
early
to saying not that everything is to be
tight into MIT at the end of the day
what I'm saying is that if Hashem didn't
command you to to do it then the act in
itself is
meaningless is gorgeous but only because
it says says you should do it and if not
for that then it doesn't connect you to
you have to realize that connecting to
hasem is illogical it doesn't make sense
that a human being connect tohm Hashem
is infinite and we are nothing you know
we haveed in
right here someone knows right
right you know the whole thing we're
nothing right imagine you have like what
I think like 40 trillion bacterias in
your
body Imagine One imagine this morning
one of the bacteria one of the 40
trillion bacteria one of them that's in
your little toe wakes up today and says
you know this ushi guy he's an awesome
guy I want to have a relationship with
him maybe if I'm very friendly with my
fellow bacteria then USI is going to
really maybe will become buddy
buddy now think about it for a
second the bacteria is an organism
you're an organism you're much more
complex but s you're both what they say
you're both n both creations and
nevertheless the idea of you having a
relationship with that bacteria is
incomprehensible
inconceivable what separates that
bacteria from you is nothing compared to
what separates us from m
and we think we can connect to Hashem
that's
ludicrous there's only one way we
connect to Hashem and that is that
Hashem gave us 613
ropes and when we grab on to one of
those groups then Hashem connects us to
him we can't there's nothing we can do
to connect to Hashem only when we take
one of those tools that hasem gave us
Mitzvah then we connect to hm other than
that nothing is anything
okay there's a there's a Live question
and I have a chart somebody sent me is
it okay if I share it maybe you could
explain
it right tell me if you know what this
chart
is this chart looks
familiar you explain me what this chart
is and maybe we could discuss it for a
minute because we were talking on the
topic yeah yeah one of your listeners
they said that Reb should explain it
because he's talking about somebody
doesn't a yes I I made this chart okay
so let's let's go through it we'll start
over here I guess in the top left this
is where it starts I feel regret
sometimes this is this is this is Tanya
this is Tanya way dealing with guilt is
a flow chart yes okay so explain it
let's top I feel regret for something I
did is this regret appropriate so first
question you have to ask yourself is did
you make a morally faulty decision
before we start this is a charge shared
with his crowd but when somebody does an
AA how to I guess process it this is I
cre this I again remember I told you I I
I'm the co-director of curriculum in an
organization called jli Jewish learning
Institute so this is a course that I
wrote for jli and this is in one of the
courses it's actually a course called
Warrior to Warrior based on t Okay so
the first question is I feel regret
something I did is this regret
appropriate yes that's the that's the
that's the question which the the over
over arching overarching what's the word
question that we have over here is I did
something wrong I feel a regret is it
appropriate okay so did you make a
morally faulty
decision if the answer is no so for
example what's what's the example of you
you didn't make a morally faulty
decision uh let's say you you left your
kid play in the playground and the kid
fell off the slide slide and got
stitches so the first question is did I
do something wrong and very often the
answer is no it was age appropriate the
kid was a and it was fine let him go to
the park and uh she fell and she hurt
herself so was there hurtful result if
yes apologize and see what you can to
fix the situation but guilt and remorse
are inappropriate and if no there was no
hurtful result then wonderful but the
bottom line is if there was no moral
decision let's say you encouraged your
kid to go to uh to to learn take a
course on uh Bas on computer science
because you thought that's what would be
good for them and they flopped in
it but if you did and everything you did
was excuse me you prepared and you dent
in Any Which Way um then there's no
feeling guilty for something which did
not involve IM morally faulty decision
okay so that's so everything that I
write here from this part and up is
basically you did everything to best
your knowledge you ever heard of
something called Survivor guil for
example right other words the
understanding is that if it wasn't a
morally faulty Choice then I wasn't in
control hashm was in control the only
thing that I that I control was my moral
choices so if I didn't make a morally
faulty choice there's no reason to feel
guilt then the AER was the one who
orchestrated the events okay so now
let's go further so if you made a
mortally morally faulty decision and yes
you said you did something that you knew
was wrong so this is where're getting
into this is okay this is GNA be a tough
thing to teach in other words this this
is a 45 minute class teaching the
FL okay next week is this reg a product
of a change perspective it truly change
you remember I said is gonna teach us
how to have regret and one of the big
Ideas says is the feelings of regret
that come to you are
garbage the the normal natural feel that
you have because think about it for a
second we there's that Loop that cycle
we regret we do we regret we do regret
we do why because we didn't
fundamentally change the same person who
did that is the person who's regretting
it and therefore why because I'm a a
multifaceted and complex person so part
of me wants to do it Part of Me doesn't
want to do it part of me wants to do it
and does it then the other part of me
regrets it so that regret you're feeling
right now is not going to prevent you
from doing it tomor regret doesn't lead
to change you need to change in order to
really feel regret to feel real regret
productive regret there needs to be some
sort of change in your perspective some
sort of change in your relationship to
the person you offended towards Hashem
or towards the whatever the subject is
make
sense but when we say when we
learn that
say right and having we're not talking
about just in a theoretical thing we're
talking about actually change and say
that we're not doing this anymore
but in very simple words if you did it
another later okay and then 20 minutes
later McDonald let's stick with the
McDonald's I like the McDonald's okay
well is a right see then 20 minutes I
did that that's worthless that's
worthless nothing fundamentally changed
so what the all what what would be real
is if you have a new appreciation
understanding for what an a is a new
appreciation for Hashem you you've grown
your relationship with him to the point
that now you can't believe you did it
that's real that's lasting then the
regret that comes as a result of the
change is something which actually has
the potential to be something real but
if the change if the regret is not the
result of any change of a change
perspective then just throw that out
it's not worth entertaining those
thoughts and that those feelings because
they're they're just going to pull you
down and there's nothing productive to
them see that says if no warning this a
toxic regret get rid of it move your
mind
elsewhere re revisit your indiscretion
during a
contain pre-bedtime remorse session and
by the way if it is result of a change
you that's great this has the potential
to be productive remorse nevertheless
postpone the feelings for a contained
pre-b time remorse session which means
that either way guilt never consumes us
we never walk around feeling guilty we
walk
around guilt is always scheduled however
sometimes we have to also be aware that
the natural guilt that I feel was pun
should
poison moving I think you have to scroll
down and
drop says begin the remorse session
thinking about the harm and pain that
you cause your fellow Orem make sure
that this is not about feeling bad about
yourself this is a very important thing
there are people who go to sh Kipper and
they spend 25 hours crying and hasham is
really not part of the of the
equation they're thinking about how how
their failure and how they failed
themselves and their own
expectations and how uh
next year I need to be better Hashem is
only a over here
present um to the extent that Hashem
becomes my barometer for my completion
so therefore but it's not about me
disappointing Hashem it's me
disappointing myself but just for
whatever reason I've decided that is my
barometer of of my expectations of
myself um and that's that's not regret
you know imagine you you know
a husband uh is nasty to his wife and
then he comes home the next day and he's
like uh I can't believe I did that I'm
such a bad husband I can't I can't live
with
myself I I I I I uh I failed
myself and it keeps on going on and on
about that like what's the wife gonna
think you're a
narcissist like this is all did you
realize you hurt me it doesn't even
bother you that you hurt me you're just
thinking about yourself and about uh
about you need to be a good husband
stop that and the same thing in being a
we have to stop being narcissist we're
here to serve the we do we have to think
the words I said
earlier there's an the has the wants a
relationship with you the gave you a
mission and
he and you know why that's amazing
because then 10 minutes later after you
take some time to marinate this and
think about it then you stop and say to
yourself but you know what the has
forgiven me because
then what happens you start
dancing because the relationship has
been restored if you're busy focusing on
yourself that you're a failure then if
you spend 10 minutes thinking about
you're a failure the next five days
you're going to be depressed but what if
you're not thinking about yourself
you're thinking about Hashem and the
relationship that you've damaged the
moment that you realize but hasem
forgives me and the relationship has
been restored then you have a greater
than you began
with so this is a recipe for feeling
guilt but not a guilt that pulls you
down into the into the abyss but a guilt
that if it's done properly and at the
right time and contained it leads you to
actually to a tremendous you finish and
you're dancing I if you ever been buter
after they blow the right before they
blow theer they sing what's called
Napoleon's March very very I don't know
any other that that done that you sing a
after yeah yeah
yeah what's the point of
that so
feel like the truth was like like feels
being heard go what does that help you
if you spend 25 hours thinking about how
you know how kind of awful person you
are even if you said okay and next year
I'll be better so what you to be happy
about next year be happy when you're a
better person what if you spent 25 hours
thinking about
that and aish I I I I I disappointed you
in this way and aish I didn't I you know
I hurt our relationship I know you love
and I heard our relationship and I know
that you counted on me cuz you need the
world made into you know made into whole
your place and then at the end of the
day you know they for you they says you
know what we're all good we're starting
the new year again
that's so we don't we don't we try not
to fall into that abyss of narcissism
and that's one of the big Ideas we
didn't yet get to talk about
Isam means I'm about serving Hashem I'm
not about it's I'm not about me I'm
about Hashem
and therefore when I did the problem
isn't me the problem is Hashem it's not
even that I'm going to burn in hell
that's not that's not what's on my
head we want to go further into who did
I offend AEM or a person no let's let's
more okay very powerful um for the
people that are asking for the chart I'm
going to email to and we'll email out
after to share this this this CH very
powerful okay let's go to the next Live
question hold on one
second hi
hi okay um my question is as follows um
as I always understood it the how can
one know that a
is that he's native the way that I
understood it is that since is in's
infinite therefore by definition he has
no no
limitations right he's infinite he's
outside of space outside of time he has
no
limitations so by definition he has no
needs no
deficiencies and no
needs and
therefore everything that he
does cannot be in order to receive
because that would imply that he had a
need and that would imply that he's in
some way therefore everything that he
does must be a pure Act of
altruism and that is a
logical way that helped me in my uh 20s
so that's over you know 25 years ago to
to understand really to have a very more
solid and not just intuitive emotional
feeling that Hashem is to but a a also a
rational way to know how can we know
that it's true my son recently um
introduced this notion and asked him
where did you get this idea from there's
a book that he was reading called
attached and the idea that is very uh
new to me and a bit shocking is that a
kades who needs a relationship with
us that he needs you and the way I
always understood it is that he doesn't
need you he's not huster it's not like
now something is going on because maybe
his ego you know you disappointed you
let him down or he's not huster
everything he's is because he wants he
has a rone to have a relationship with
you you
are and a who is so full of
givingness right that that he's self to
allow us to exist to have so that we can
form a relationship with the a so with
with the infinite how does this work
with this notion that a well really what
I'm asking is what does Tanya say about
this what does say about this idea what
what's true which one is true according
to
cus I love this one because the answer
is they're both
true they're both true
is absolutely sh he's not anything he
doesn't need you and yet Hashem decided
that he does need you but because that's
his choice that he decided that so it
doesn't essentially make him a because
that is a result of his choice but once
he decided that he needs you he actually
he needs you because that was his
decision and that's why the when we do a
mitvah we say
says says I get pleasure so what do you
mean is not does what Doan yeah we're
giving pleasure there are many other
that that we we cause the to be weak
sometimes WEA we give
strength so this is a little
philosophical or a lot
philosophical but I want I want to talk
a little more
about this idea that Hashem ultimately
knowing that Hashem needs us is a very
big idea in with the Cav
that he doesn't essentially need us he
chose to need us it's a very important
cavat because if you say that
essentially needs us that you're
limiting hasem which to say
that but this a big idea you know one of
the the biggest philosophical revolution
of is the idea
of
means that the reason why hasem created
us and this goes back to one of the the
poll the polling questions that we asked
in the beginning that one of the reason
the reason created us is not because he
wants to give us Ghan and we're not here
in this world simply to endure and
Outlast and survive the challenging
terrain of this physical materialistic
World which is full of pitfalls but
rather because Hashem wants this world
he wants a a home here in this world and
he put us over here in this world
because he wants
us he wants us to uh to make that home
for him to put in different words Hashem
needs us he put himself in the situation
that he needs us again emphasis put
himself in that situation where he needs
us and he's relyant on us so to say to
uh to do that by the way this
interesting G
that that Hashem
DAV hasem DAV to
us which is an interesting he says yeah
I need you I need you to do the I I need
that why is that so
important are you still on the I am why
is that why is that so
important what I'm saying do you have
any idea why that's so
important um I actually have been
waiting for Usher to unmute me again so
got
distracted I was I wanted to in I wanted
to ask a question on what the r was
saying and I I I'm sorry I'm in
trouble okay so let me just finish my
thought and we'll go we'll get back to
you
okay you know you were talking remember
said before Hashem loves me Hashem loves
me is a commentary on
Hashem which it's amazing and we have to
know that we every one of us has to know
that hashm loves us more than we could
imagine hasm is nuts over every single
one of us individually crazy how do you
know how do you know how do we know
because said that and because
says says I love you and when loves
Hashem is infinite his love is infinite
which we can't even begin says that
Hashem loves every one of us more than
elderly parents who didn't have children
for many years and they gave birth to an
only child hasm loves each one of us
individually more
than tells
us says I love you forever and
ever I lost my train of thought was itm
loves same thing over here Hashem wants
to be kind to me he wants to give me G
that's nice but you know what that's a
commentary on hashm that's not a so he's
so great he's amazing who am I I'm
nothing and what am I doing nothing
because my m nothing they're just hm's
excuse to give me G so what if I tell
hasm you know what thank you very much
I'm so happy that you're this
awesome and you want to give me G do you
know what I'm not interested and anyways
I'm worthless anyways I'm nothing right
I want to go to I want to have the
cheeseburger instead of your Ganan
you're gonna tell me but Ganan is better
than cheeseburger true but you know what
that's my decision to
me but what if you say but what if you
understand no no no no I'm not nothing
Hashem needs me hasem gave me a job and
hasem says you know what I'm in until
you finish your
jobos until we do our job tell and bring
mhia and make the home forem and hasem
is begging me and saying please that
Mitzvah I need you to do it it's not
about me for I'm not doing a mitvah
because I need G it's about
Hashem that's incredible value I'm
valuable my action is valuable
you want to know how that you know gon
you're still there remember you asked
about someone was that you someone who
has mental health you know issues if a
person to understand that the
hasem hasem
right is looking at me and saying please
I need you to do this Mitzvah like wow
that's awesome that gives me such
incredible value and the act that I'm
doing you so valuable it's not value
because it's getting
me that sounds like you know I tell my
kid I want to give my kid a candy my
2-year-old and but I I want an excuse I
say okay put away your toys so I'll I'll
give you the candy now I don't I know
that when the kid puts away the toys I'm
GNA have to go put it away again
afterwards because they're going to do
it all wrong
but are we that kid that hasem is
finding us a meaningless excuse so we go
we shake a aulive or we you know we whip
a chicken over our head we eat matah and
say okay now I give you your prize and
what if I say you know what keep your
prizes not
it's it's a whole different way of
looking at and
ourselves have I misunderstood
the nope you've not you've not
misunderstood has a very different path
understanding
this now if I want to get if I want to
get more nuanced I can say that the the
there are different levels of Truth not
he's not wrong in what he's saying but
they're different mad and
and has a lengthy dissertation on
this talking about this topic the
different reasons given for creation of
the world
including and there's a hierarchy of
reasons and the most essential reason is
that needs us to make for him his home
so it's not saying is wrong he's it's a
different
will take a different and they're true
on different
levels thank you for
explaining you're very
welcome okay we're going to go to the
closing just before we go to closing
somebody wants to tell you something
tell you here we go iPhone 32 all yours
hey doing Rabbi um I just wanted to say
that uh about a year ago I was uh just
lurking around YouTube Just trying to
find the purpose in life um didn't
really have any purpose they didn't
understand life as much um and then I
came across a rabbi silverberg video I
clicked it it was like four minutes and
it just all made sense and I was like H
I'm starting to like this and I clicked
some link on the bottom before I know it
I find myself on a WhatsApp group before
I Know It uh you know I'm listening a
couple months whatever it is and then I
private messag you I said I think I need
to go buy a safer Tanya ended up buying
a five set edition of lessons in Tanya
um for me it's been absolutely
life-changing um I study it uh pretty
much every day five minutes a day I will
say that it's pretty deep very intense
um it's in English and in Hebrew pretty
easy to understand not that complicated
um and I love it um there are parts to
it that are very deep and sometimes I'll
go like mentally crazy because it's so
hard to comprehend and a lot to digest
that once um but I just wanted to thank
you publicly um for that and for
creating such a space space and uh
especially the social media aspect of it
like of course you're on WhatsApp I
listen from there as well but I wanted
to thank you for the YouTube channel I
think that was a big one and uh you know
I say the internet was created for many
things and uh thank God you know that we
have that platform and that space and uh
just wanted to thank you really this is
actually why I was created that's why
YouTube was
created um by the way first of all
you're welcome and that's I really
appreciate you're coming on and saying
that that's very sweet I'll just say two
things number
one there was someone who wrote to the r
wrote to the Reb and told him was trying
to get people
Le told him a certain a certain safer to
learn because it's more a little more of
a beginner uh level safer the person
learned the safer for a little while he
writes back to the Reb and he
says I learned the safer and I don't
understand I don't I don't I don't
understand what's going on in
there so the de wrote back to him joined
the club says we alln none of us
understand all of it we all understand a
little that's what it's about so you're
saying that some of it's very deep yes
as I say join the club as someone who
teaches Tanya I can tell you there's
sometimes that I'm let's talk Tanya and
I'm saying and I'm speaking and I'm like
I wish I understood what I'm saying okay
so that's my personal adition and
confession um and as you you know you
grow and you understand more and you
learn more but never let that get you
down that's fine that's number one
number two to talk about you
know the lessons in Tanya but I don't
remember they reached out to me so a lot
of people reach out to me but I'm happy
that you found my number and that it
worked lessons Z is a translation of a
book A book which was written in yish
called this book is in yish was Tanya
lessons that were given under radio
every month of shabas rabf Weinberg was
a every month of shabas here in New York
he would he would give a she my
grandfather who was
aamar lived in bar Park I I barely
remember him I was 11 when he passed
away but I I'm told that every M shabas
he would sit down he would listen to the
radio the lessons ananya in being taught
in yish with the radio waves and I'm
sure that you this is not a surprise
that we know that kabad encounters
opposition very often and for different
things they do so this was no ex yes by
the way any good thing has to has to by
definition Inspire sagas if it's not if
it didn't Inspire sagus he asked what's
wrong like why why didn't why is know
sagus yet anything which is has to by
definition anyways so people the radio
how can you put Tanya on the radio the
radio is filth kipa by the way today
we're like radio I wish everyone had
radios I wish that was what everyone had
was radios right but then that was it
radios and theb spoke about it by fing
and the Reb said there's interesting Med
that
says that um
that that gold is too good for this
world really shouldn't have created
gold which physically it's a it's
beautiful but Also spiritually whatever
gold stands for so why was it created
was created for the Mish that's says why
did create gold so to have it for the
Mish asks how old is the world when the
mishan was
created I'm 2500 years old right for the
first 2500 years what was the primary
use of
gold new iPhone 32 Ben what was your
name what was the
primary I'm not sure I think they used
it for
jewelry for for Idols right that was
the imagine that they're starting to
make the Mish says bring gold and we're
making a mish gold that's how how dear
we use gold for the mishkan that's
that's that's
disgusting and the truth is that gold
was only created by Hashem for the Mish
the fact that it was abused for 2 200
years doesn't change the fact that it
was created for the mishkan you was
created for let's talk doesn't make a
difference what else is on there and for
and for let that's so that's why I we
created I have other people using other
stuff okay as they say you
know not going to destroy his world
because because the idiots so they can
misuse it but this is why it was created
for that's what WhatsApp was created for
and that's why YouTube was created for
and that's why the internet was created
for so that we can sit together over
here the hundreds of us over here and
the thousands and be inspired by we
shouldn't be scared of it we have to
maybe something to be scared personally
we have to put protections I'm not
talking against that but understanding
that created it is there for a purpose
and the purpose ultimately is to spread
and bring
spread yeah I wanted to end with this
quickly but by kiss SL like I never knew
what it was I never understood the the
holiday but for me it was something so
big and spiritual uh I was just on a
complete like I never felt something so
special such a special connection
because for me you know just end with
this the and the Tanya specifically
really changed my entire life like it's
it's like the life I used to be it's the
old me and the new me so I want to thank
you for that again and uh many
more thank you it's to be able to be the
channel through which uh I think he so
the T better than you I think U that's
it yeah now everybody can sign up to
daily tag can I uh we're about to
conclude I'm assuming g go to closing
we're gonna give a second give me a
second okay first all coming on tonight
giv tremendous I hope everybody tries
the daily T try to incorporate a few
minutes a day of some deeper spiritual
learning if you want to do go further by
the books by the English T like he said
lessons in Tanya whatever you want you
know to this but you know on the
WhatsApp or on the YouTube on all the
other podcasts 5 minutes day you could
listen to it anytime so please try for a
few weeks and see where it takes you uh
again if any's here the first time every
Sunday night at 900 p.m. we have
different uh on this Zoom she on the
zoom ID we have different uh topics next
week doing a health topic with Tanya
Rosen nutrition by Tanya and Michael
spillinger and the topic is called Tanya
versus asmic the shocking truth about
weight loss about motivation and how to
really lose weight and keep it off which
is a very important topic being healthy
is a very important topic Al please join
us be very very important tonight
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Arrow from fown Central from jcn I'm
going to go to the closing segment I'll
say and thenali we'll wrap it up so want
to
sayali for the people that are brought
up with it they understand that they
have you know better deep understanding
that wasn't brought up in in
especially is a very foreign concept for
me and for people so the fact that
you're making it so accessible and so
easy for people to tap into it but again
obviously there's a lot more levels and
you can learn more be and you can learn
but it's so easy somebody could just
join a chat and every day get a
consistent 4 minute clear concise T and
in a year you can make a CM on learning
something and then again if you want to
do it like iPhone 32 you want to really
just you know really get into it and
really learn it with Kavon but you could
take it to the next level but at least
get a feeling of it get make corporate
life it's it's it's p it's something
that we all strive for something looking
for and you know we could do it in
therapy we could do it in other versions
buta this is what we need and um for
putting it out and I saw the share I
started listening to it I felt it was
something that was very important to
promote a link people can reach out to
it tell people want to know how they
reach out to you is there any specific
email or something if somebody wants to
T text you or anything like that let
talk gmail.com let's talk gmail.com if
any wants to get a hold of silverberg
and again for coming out tonight it was
a beautiful conversation
closing
words the way I see it is we many of us
to have a new
mindset and for those that struggle for
those are trying to figure things out
and like we discussed many have a a hard
time connecting to Hashem whatever that
means and we discussed a little bit to
start
fresh I don't know if it's always
possible you might need help to do that
but
not to come with preconceived notions
with ideas that we picked up and start
learning the ideas step by
step
and not to try to fit in what we know
into what we're learning and I think
what I heard tonight just a few ideas is
like new ideas and new mind totally new
mindsets and hopefully that will be able
to connect whether it's to Tanya or to
other AER we're searching those who need
healing will find a place where they can
see things with a different lens a
different mindset and hopefully with
that who can connect whatever connecting
means to feel to feel being part of that
Hashem loves me needs me wants me and
I'm doing I'm here for him waking up
with a different mindset and hopefully
with that we'll be able
to
beia hopefully soon so thank you
here for two
hours what do you want to leave the
closing I don't remember the story
exactly but there's once went to Once
went to a
city and he there's there's a lot of
what they call him MN today there are no
MN but Back Then There Were
MN and he said he gone up to BMA I hope
I'm saying over the story correctly and
he got up and he said
taste and you'll see the is good taste
it's amazing stuff as and you know coach
what you said was it's a mindset it's
not even an idea like you have idea here
you when when you learn the whole Tanya
and by the way once and twice you you
look at everything differently that's
really what it's about and Tanya you can
say it's a forest and a lot of beautiful
trees in it you can get lost in a tree
over here a tree over here or you can
realize it's a program and ultimately
it's about G gaining a certain mindset
and with that
mindset we can we can handle life we can
handle life all of it
and we can do it we can serve the do it
properly and finally bring this go to
end amen amen thank you everybody for
joining thank you everybody for coming
see next week with nutrition by Tanya
please join us and everybody should have
a a week full of T and spiritual
uplifting have a great week take care
good night thank you good night