We're All the Feminine Receviers from Hashem | Likkutei Torah Shlach Ani Hashem #5

the yeshiva.net. >> Good morning everybody. Good morning. Okay, welcome. Today's class is dedicated by friends of Mrs. lapel in loving memory of David Benim in tribute to his yardite on the 16th day of Tamos Mishma and may his soul be a source of blessing and inspiration and empowerment. also dedicated by Margar Basester in honor of her yard site on the 19th of Tamos Tahesh Masaturura but sirim may her soul be a source of blessing in all aspects and with abundance today's class is also dedicated by and Debbie Lavine as for a complete and speedy recovery for his father David Ben Lea Pesio is having open heart surgery today. May it be with a lot of good health. Amen. And thank you very very much. So we began >> your birthday >> today. When is the yard? Tonight is >> Oh, okay. What's the name? >> Okay. Ram's mother's yard site is tonight. Which yard set is it? >> Ninth. Ninth yard. And may your soul, may her soul always be present with you and a source of tremendous blessing and inspiration for you and all of your loved ones with abundance and joy and serenity. And not only is also in Gash in also and in Gash, right? >> I'm sorry I don't know everything. Masletov. >> Gavaldc. Masleto. >> When >> Oh, Gavaldc. Okay. In Las Where is he? >> Las Vegas. Okay. Wow. A lot of >> aha. Huh. Yeah. I'm also honored to have here my second grade teacher when I was in second grade in Harowitz was my rabbi and I'm honored to have him. He's of Harowitz of and uh when I came in he stood up so I said I should really stand up for you. He's my second grade uh teacher. He taught me uh everything I know or some of things I know. Certainly some of the things that >> Yeah, he did a very good job. Second grade. Do you remember? Was I a good boy? >> Was I a good student? Okay. You know the ma with the katskar? Think of the miser. The katskarba was born in Tammer. Later he was in Kutsk. Katskar is a city in Poland. But he was born in Tomer in Poland. They called him the mendel tomshave. Later became the mendelikutska. He once came back to tamashov to his birthplace years later when he was already uh one of the famous masters in Poland. So they wanted to put him up in a respectable home but he insisted to go to his teacher's house. His first teacher in when he was a little kid you know 2 years old, three years old, four years old. He wanted to stay in his house. He said he's very poor. He's poor then he's poor now. He doesn't really have accommodations. Ask him if he wants me. I'm I want him. Teacher was very honored and it was really it was ava. It was a caved in home. It wasn't a place to stay but that's where he stayed when the visit finished. So one of his you know there was such nice houses you could be with your entourage like why did you why do you want to stay by him? He says I'll be very honest with you. He says he taught me olive base. Okay. He's the only one who taught me MS after that alet. Yeah. Says he taught me olive base. He taught me ems. What he taught was MS. Olive B. Gimmel come. After that it was already all confusing. Okay. It's an honor to have you. You won't be mad if this time I talk. So we began the we're in the middle of the we're up to almost gimmel the last of the mitzvah column 2 and it's 93 vins 93 you see on top is mezan column too right before civgimmo a few lines before civgim we need it's time to remind ourselves the question in the beginning of the mime because in this in this chapter is going to come back to all the questions and answer them the expression is found the only mitzvah is found in par is twice You have other mitzvah it says but twice and the same is only in the end of which we say every day. So he he finishes the par and he says I am Hashem your God who has taken you out of the land of Egypt in order to be to you a god. And then again I am Hashem your God. And says why in this mitzvah does it say twice and one with a whole and then the word ms is not in the that added although we put it together but it ends with and that's the whole end of why twice and why dka in the mitzvah of titus Generally when it says explain what's the idea says it says we know that God God is God. So it says always quotes from he's actually saying I'm giving you this and I'm faithful I'm trustworthy to pay reward to reward for the mitzvah. So you could say the same thing here. I'm asking you to put on and say okay so why twice you already said that was that was the opening of the for this he said you have to explain the whole ofar and there's two stages in there's ganed and then there's the ultimatear which is after mashia comes when everybody comes back to this world even those Shamas are in Ganeden and he says here again you have to understand because if you're thousands of years in Geden what's the great benefit to come back to the world that's even greater than what the greatest souls experience thousands of years in Ghana for example Jacob and every day in Ganaden they go higher and higher because it says the Gmorrah says At the end of every day there's an aliyah higher. So you're talking about alias that are beyond our estimation all in ganed which even the lowest level of ganed is already infinite bliss and they say and what's the ultimate? The ultimate is you're going to come back down here into this world and that's even greater than ganed. What's the havana in that? And for this he asked another question and that is when it comes to ganed we see that there's endless different diverse levels and everybody has their own you have you have but really there's numerous numerous numerous levels and each level is a different aliyah different ascent which is for a different category for a different soul on a different in a different in a different in their own individuated way. When it comes to And that's referring to over there it's everybody equally which the ultimate reward over there there should be categories. There should be more diversity. In order to explain all of this focused on the we say before every mitzvah and we put in the word which apparently it should have just said whatever the is what's the he said the word a indicates the element of like we say is fortune the p says when usher was born that leia named user usher but because of my fortune my my my my good fortune my all the all the all the girls are praising to sit in your home generally when there is delight, when there's an ecstasy, when there's a a gishmak of bliss. And he says this is the source of all the mitzvah. It's not just for he sanctified us. Ash is the source of the source of all the mitzvah. He says the mucker of the mitzvah is where do they come from? They come from Tino. And from here the mimer entered into the whole arena of tanug which we discussed over the last few classes from the beginning of the first from the first class the whole explanation how there's tug in everything and there's so much I heard once said is a means >> gl yeah exactly yeah in yiddish it's gl means there's a sense of a person feels There's a certain sense of gratitude. So of all the mitzvah are rooted in ash in it's not they put in another word. They could have written would have said the same thing. The word a is a word in and of itself. In addition to the literal meaning yeah in everything there's tanuk. Everything in sight and in smell and in hearing and in seeing and in touching all the five senses have give us access to tenu. They each create a stimuli. They each have a stimuli that arouse a certain tanug in the person. And there's endless opportunities. How many things can you see in the world that are pleasurable? And how many things can you hear that are pleasurable? And how many types of smells that you can smell that are pleasurable? and how many things you can touch that create a certain sensation a sense of pleasure. And the same is true with taste, right? Every food has its own unique tuk. Every fruit has a different tanuk. Every item of food is diverse. It's unique. You can't compare the taste of this vegetable to the taste of this fruit, the taste of this chicken to the taste of this meat, the taste of this spice to the taste of this legume, the taste of this of this uh pey or whatever it is. any any food items and that's just in time and the taste buds are so sensitive. Yeah. And everything and everything this timing and it's a different tuk. It's a different it's a different type of t and we explained at length that this is the love letter that comes together with the world. The love letter that comes together with the world that there's a relational it's it's part of a relational fill. It's part of a connection. Yeah. And all of this all of this he says every comes from every blade of grass has an energy is is coming from a higher energy what he calls a mazle which comes yet from a higher energy. So for example, the sweetness, the tyuk that exists in an apple or in an orange or in a cherry, in a blueberry, in a plum, in a kiwi, in a watermelon, it didn't come out of nowhere. That tinuk wasn't created here in the physical world for our taste buds. It evolved. You have the same energy in a higher in a higher field, in a higher spiritual energy field called the mazle. You could say it's a sweet fruit. You can also say ah this is a sweet niggan. What? Right on a child. What was it? You just said the fruit is sweet. How can a be sweet? How's a niggan sweet? I understand a a date is sweet. A fig is sweet. A grape is sweet. They have these grapes that they call like cotton candy grapes. Real very sweet. A niggan is sweet. It's a different It's a different frequency of sweetness. It's a different type of sweetness. But you use the same word mikos. Yeah. one time. Well, you eat a niggan. >> I once heard from Kamisa that uh in in Dinsk, there's a city Dinska. There was two big that both were of Dinsk. The R of Ashkanazm was of the and the of was gone. They were both and the rakach was physically bigger. The rakach was was short and skinny. He was frail. So once in there was a big debate is gresser who's bigger. So you know how it is in in Jewish communities this one a huge argument for two hours. So there's a child there who's laughing. I said, "What are you laughing?" He says, "I'm I'm astounded how mature adults, supposed mature adults, can argue for two hours is bigger." Yeah, it's very very obvious that there is physically you look at his body. Look at his body. He's obviously bigger than they told him, "No, we don't mean we don't mean we don't mean bigger physically. We mean bigger spiritually, intellect, knowledge. He says, "Now you stop saying now you're just defending yourself. Now you're just trying to cover up for your foolishness." Gra is Yeah. And and in his mind that's true because that's his that's his graa. Don't tell me now. It's always what's your reference point? You know what's the orbit in which you live in? Yeah. We always learn in the my right the higher you go, right? The lower you go and it's always your reference point. So if this is my reference point, this is the definition of T sweet is in the world that I know a higher world I don't know. But then and it go so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and all tanugim essentially are rooted in the source of which is and the lower you go it's only a residue of that what he calls and he went into the whole discussion of the breaking down the saying of the lowest level of the has so much power to And explained why did Hashem allow that his tanuk should go down to the lowest lowest places and even over there there are sparks and uh elements particles of his tenuk and that is in order to create the rebound because the law of life is the law of the rubber band. The further you think you detach, the further you pull away, away, away, away, you never detach. Your connection is now just reinforced with more vigor. When you let go, when you pull, pull, pull, pull back. And now it's going to go back. The rebound is going to be that's the infinity is compared to the night and it's in the night from the darkness. The light that's born from the darkness is a whole different quality of light. And therefore the tenu goes down all the levels through the shattering where the tu becomes completely scattered and you even lose a memory of where tino came from. The person could think that this relationship which is toxic, this is the definition of tenino or this food is definition of tanuk or this covet or this whatever it is in the material pleasures this becomes the definition of tu completely broken from the source and that experience ultimately creates such a deeper connection because precisely when you discover from in the darkness the light that you're really craving for what you're really looking for the attachment you're really looking before. Now the attachment happens with so much more depth with so much more gushmak and everybody knows when you've made deep mistakes in a particular area coming back to the truth has within it a depth and a ecstasy and a tug that you could never have if you were never distanced from it. Like he says the two types of pleasures that a parent has. One is the relationship with a child the mitzvah and one is the child who was distant and then chuva comes back afterwards and it's a whole different type of appreciation because all the negativity now becomes part of the experience. All the negative energy becomes a catalyst for the reconnection, the reinforced connection which is far greater as it says in with much more vigor. And that's the the tremendous rash the the tuml the tumultuousness the intensity rash is the intense like a rash is an earthquake. It's a it's a tug of of an earthquake. So but to reach the real tenug of Hashem it goes down down down. So from the lowest space you come back to his his tanuk but in a much deeper fashion from this rash that happens down here two things are created sh with a shin and say with a sin from rash you have shin with a shin and with a and he starts explaining that when we speak about hashem's tanuk this was the last main the main last point of the when we speak about hashem's tuk There's two in yan. You have to remember that all of our pleasures in the world is we get pleasure from something. So there's always two entities in the language of it's called every tenug that you can imagine in the world is mav. Morav means it's a hybrid. It's composite like an estra murkov. It's made up of parts. There's the tenug and there's what you're getting the tuk from. You say this niggan, this music is opens my heart. It melts my heart. Yeah. This idea expands my mind. Looking at this scene, looking at this beauty, looking at this beauty opens up it opens up my my my my soul. So there's always the tanuk from something from something from someone. There's two elements. There's the tanug and there's what you're getting tenuk from in the source of tenug there's nothing else there's him. So what's the tanug? He is tenug. So there the tug is not you're getting tuk from something else. It's tenug in its very core. This is called it's not a that's made up from something else. The tug is the source of its own tanug. The tug comes from itself. This is tenug. God in his essence is bliss, is love. That's what is saying not getting. >> Yeah, it is. Yeah, that was the last line one that after that always the is the more in it the more you can experience tanuk but in the source it's not from something else that is tanuk he is the source of all tanugim in other words Any bliss you'll ever have in life is nothing but a nits, a particle, a residue, a ray, a reflection of the SOURCE OF TANUGUM. THE QUESTION is how far it comes down, how distant it is, how many filters, how many contractions, how many restrictions, how many concealments does it still feel the connection or went through a like a breakdown. So you can't even associate the tanuk you're having with the source. It's detached. And that was Rabbi Akiva's astonishment that even the detached tyog has so much imagine what the source is right even when the wire is disconnected it still has so much electricity imagine when it's connected but every tanuk in the world is ultimately rooted in the maker of old and that is the essence of tanuk it's not tuk from something else that is tanuk in its purest form because it is bliss in its core everything else is just an experience of that the way it's reflected in a particular thing. So that's the source of tanuk in that space. is the tuk is not you're getting you're not getting it from something it is that is tanuk and he says and therefore you have two dimensions you have and you have mitzvah and those are these two is the susum it's the here just like the here channels the energy from the brain but in a restricted way captures the tug of but in a way that it could be contained You could learn it, you can understand it, you can internalize it, you can eat it, you can appreciate it. That's what is and the whole gad is really the you could learn and not see the only an intellectual tanuk. But the truth is in terra every idea of tra is a tag of and that's what's revealed in it's the experience of that's what is really what's really learning to what's saying the real learning is an experience of infinity and there's not going to be more pleasure than that ah you say you were yes 12 years and there was ganam And you have the marks to prove it. So sometimes answers sometimes answers and sometimes answers huh and sometimes listen like we're saying here even in the things can be divorced from the core. You know if it's it's it's how it's presented. It's how it's internalized. It's there a lot of different variables. Let's put it that way. But what's the of the of is an experience of and that's the of because over there you see the and every idea of tra we sometimes only have access to nigl of which could seem very very technical even there there's a galdishmak when you start seeing the pimious and that it's pure an I remember once there was a was a sukus once so the she raam is the sheam the reb instituted there was learning that it's the laws of if an ox gores the first three times you only have to pay you have to pay half because he's domesticated you didn't expect it so you you didn't know better so you're not fully guilty but after three times your sh is a because now you know that he's prone to damage so now you need full protect you need to protect him and if not from now you have to pay nazal so let's say he kills another ax or he damages another ox you have to pay full compensation not just 50%. This is the difference of and mu and then the garra wants to know what if you have a mu could it get back to can it ever get back its original status of being a which means an innocent ox that you only have to pay. So the n brings two way two two ways based on the gamarakama. One is you train it you discipline it animals could be trained. So if you discipline your ox to the point that it stops goring and it goes through a test. Now it goes back to its original status. You know like people train their dogs and they train their they train other animals. It's a it becomes back. Another way he says is called mash. If you sell your ax or you give it as a gift to somebody, it automatically reverts back to to shaman. Even though no training explain what's the vart why why I just I I gave it to you as a gift. Why is it a shaman? Tomorrow you went to go you only have to pay half. If it were gourd in my property yesterday was mine I would have to pay full. I have to pay $1,000. You only have to pay $500 because I gave it to you as a gift. to explain the VA was animals are very sensitive and when you go to a new owner they know that it's a new system you know how it is when you have a first day in class in yeshiva right every you start testing out the new rebi yeah you know the first day then you already see you know you could already make the same trouble it's fine you're going to get away with it so the animal when it goes in even if he's gifted the animal knows oh So the animal is is sensitive. So he's not yet a he's still a because it's a new okay it's very very interesting in but then I remember said that every every is really it's really it's really a spiritual it comes down into a physical with an axe with two horns and the axe gores another go another axe and you have to pay five you have to pay half a but it doesn't originate there just like We said the tenug in an apple starts in the mazle. There's the sweetness of an apple. There's the sweetness of a niggan. There's the sweetness of an emotion. There's a sweetness of an idea. There's a sweet experience. It's not an apple. You can't taste it physically. And it goes higher and higher and higher. The same is true with so just to give you an example. Yeah. He said the sh the ax is in every person. And everybody has anus. Everybody has an animal soul. In an animal soul, you have two types. You have a and you have a sham. Aam means every animal once in a while loses it. That's how it is. He usually doesn't go. He's a nice ax. He's a good guy. He's cute cow, cute bull. BUT ONCE IN A WHILE THE what do you want the So you only have to pay. Meaning you're not fully responsible because sometimes loses it said but once it happens three times now your now it's already a whole different status yeah you person loses it once twice once it's three times your nephah now changes status it's not it's a difference between a person who sometimes loses it I'm continuously you have a person once in a while they go into a rage But now it's consistent. You have a ty you fulfill. But then there's an addiction. Now it's already a question is how do you change the nephas from that? So he says there's two ways. One way is you should have to work with it. You have to retrain it. That's a big avoid. He says there's another way. Rishus mashana. Rishus mashana is you could surrender your animal consciousness to God's domain. And in that complete surrender, amazing things happen to the animal soul. When the animal soul realizes that it's under the domain of Hashem, you completely surrender it. The it automatically refers to I'm giving you a mush here. You have a it's very technical, but really it's a whole about the inner workings of an animal consciousness. And so it goes deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. There's no in there's no there's no inn. So in any sug that it's not a reflection of and that's really aug of that's contained in it's called here cyus of because that's the the comes down in a way that could be contained by the human mind and that's why it's called food. Then you have mitzvah. Mitzvah is a part of Yiddish that you can't fully contain. He says it's called garments. The garment eclipses the person who's inside the garment. You can't see the person. Mitzvah reflect. They are a flow of the tug itself. Is the way the tanuk is contained. That means it has to go through. Mitzvah is a reflection of the that we spoke about before. The bliss itself, not the bliss that's contained. And that's why there's an element of mitzvah that always remains intangible. There's a secret to mitzvah. You can never fully, you know, we say is but really the whole is after all the explanations in the world what exactly is happening when you're putting on situs or or you know we take for granted right sometimes you do it in an airport or on an airplane and you see people looking at you if it's not in a mirror you know if it's these far-fetched places you know a black box what exactly just happened you know we're used to it because the 613 mitzvah you grew up with it but the first time you see it it's astounding. So with all the explanations and symbolisms and we have a lot of beautiful explanations and all this says really you're going to touch something that you're not there there's no vocabulary for it. It's not there's no vocabulary for it because you're poor in vocabulary or you're not wise enough. You have that too, but that's not inud. The is it's actually Hashem sharing his and there's no way that that's going to be tangibly contained within the you framework of the mind because once you're touching that space of Tanuk, you're touching something that is transcendent even beyond the word transcendent. Even is transcendent and that's the way the tanuk comes into a container. It still ain't but here it's the tanuk itself. You have a story about the bad right that the first morning of sukus he was up all night you know the story he was craving to be mim the mitzvah of lulf because it's a one once a year so a whole night sukus he couldn't sleep it's not that he didn't go to sleep he probably went to sleep so you know like uh kids before the grand trip the night before they can't sleep the night before camp you know it is you can't fall asleep it's too exciting and the first moment he saw that it's light outside and he could already Jacobulv he rushed to the to the to the urin to the to the I don't know if it was a China closet but uh I don't think it was made in China and I don't think it was from China but he rushed to the closet with estrogos. He didn't realize that there was a glass door so he put his hand through it and of course he was bleeding. He broke the glass. It was unintentional. So what what what what what exactly did but obviously it was something that touched him so deeply that he had an opportunity to touch here something that was infinitely significant. So says that is the tug itself the tug itself and that comes down always da and because the highest always you will always find through the lowest you can't get it through words or through explanations or through ideas that's a kali for things that can have a kali that can be contained here it's the highest that comes into the lowest like he explains the whole thing also with the animals the why animals animals but really the really much higher than people and that's how you forgive the sin which is you have to go higher than hashem and that was that was the okay so now let's go right before civgiml yeah 1 2 3 4 5 lines before the civgiml he says this is the difference between the two parts of the pk his cloak is like white snow and the hair of his head is like white wool in says about Hashem that's mitzvah just like a you can't internalize it and it blocks the person it hides the person inside the lavush the mitzvah hide the because it can't be revealed it's too it's touching itself so the mitzvah is the only medium through which we have it and then is like the the hearers which are alive they channel energy but in a very restricted way. So he finishes it's called white snow. When you look at snow, one of the astounding things of snow is every every flake of snow on its own is a tiny little flake, a tiny little particle. And then you come outside and you see in your backyard a whole universe of snow. He says it's nikim. They become congeal. They stick to each other. Nickfim is like they become they stuck stick to each other until it becomes huge snow. But if you take every flake of snow on its own, it's just one little flake. There's nothing nothing to it but one flake and another flake and another flake and another flake and another flake and you can have a you can have you know three feet of snow blocking your entire blocking your entire house blocking your entire garage. There's no moving it until it's melted. So on its own it's one flake but together it becomes an army a powerful impenetrable reality. So the gar says It's one but it comes together to from many together you have one garment just like you have one from different from different parts of a garment. So that's why it's called it could look like one little physical thing. >> Huh? >> A threat. But one thread, another thread, another thread, another thread, and you have a whole stunning lavush. And that's the hides the gimmel tell us that the mitzvah of is equivalent to all of the other 612 mitzvah brings it also in parli brings this also when you look at the says you're going to remember all my mitzvah Because tits is the numerical value of 600 right tough is 400 is 90 and 10 is 100 a second time is another 100 sois is 100 is 100 tough is 400 so 400 and 200 is 600 then you have eight every one of the corners has four fringes that are doubled so you have eight strings right and then you have hikarim the titus has to have in the beginning five knots it's knotted five times before the rest of the fringe that comes out so eight and five is 13 so titsus itself is 600 eight threads and five knots is 13 so 63 what's the point why kazal telling us this what they want to bring out is that sitsus has something in it that encompasses all the mitzvah but why so say that's how it is but what's the sob says let's explain the pimius of it there's a reason for because is the only mitzvah that has both of these dimensions we just spoke about. Has a very interesting phenomenon. You have two parts of it. You have the talis and you have the titus. The talis is what we call the cloak. >> Five and eight become 600. >> 13. >> Five and eight is 13. Sitsus itself is 600. The word sitsus. The word sits >> we have four of those. >> But there we have to double. We double them. We have to double them. Eight. You could count each corner. >> We have four corners. >> Oh. Oh, good question. You're saying why don't you do all four corners together? >> You mean so 32? Okay. One second. Good. That's a good question. Why you only focusing? You can ask the same thing about the knots. >> It's 20 knots. It's not five knots. Each corner has five. So you're focusing on each one. Okay? And it's interesting when it comes to titsis, it's the gamatria. When it comes to the other ones, it's not the gamatria. It's the actual number itself. Right? So you could say, okay, we got to make it work. You know, it is >> huh. >> You're mixing up different disciplines of mathematics. Like you know when you about right, you know, you know that one. Yeah. Huh? With the rapper. With the rapper, another $20, right? Right. Huh? It's like the lawyer who charged, you know, his client, he charged him an extra $10,000. He says, "What's this?" Says, "I middle of my sleep, I woke up a few times. I was thinking about your case. Each time I thought it was 15 minutes, so I have to charge." What's the situs? has these two in be helpful here to have props. What's so he says like this we just said has two dimensions. There's the garment of hashem and there's the here the garment is represented by mitzvah. The year is represented by as he said earlier the Gmorra says the talis itself is means this is an expression of zar it's the garment of the king porus is that which is spread out so it's spread out all over you so it's the king spreading like a canopy that is it's porous it's spread out all over you that's the tallest That's the cloak says sorry. Hashem, it says came up to the mountain and he asked to seem and told me you'd give me. So it says Hashem wrapped himself up. He enveloped himself like he was like what's so writes this is a quote says I found in an old cabalistic work that he wrapped himself at that moment in the same white garment in which he wrapped himself When he created the world, he dawns light a garment, like a salma, like a cloak, like a shirt. It's a light which shines. You could see from one end of the world to another end of the world. So, it's a higher frequency of light that allows you to perceive all of reality from one end of the world to the other end of the world. And that's the that became a talis in through which when he created the world. So, that's the that's what the gam means. This is what the explains the gives her a few footnotes. The next lineus and then you have the titus come out from the talis. This is mish like here literally like here like each each is in fact but before you put on the titus in the morning you need to untang disentangle the titus just like you have what's called salitis every brand every braid of hair is disentangled and that's really what is because each defining its own unique chemistry and not mixing it up with others and a lot of the pilping and gor is that differenti creation. Yeah. This is a here and this is a here. So that's the of the four four corners cuz 8 and 8 is 16 and 16 and 16 is 32. It's known as it says in the earliest cabalistic work that there's 32 pathways to and 50 gateways to they're called like 50 portals from bina to go into bina come out of bina and there's lammed bay 32 pathways that come out of so that's the bay of the just like is a pathish in Hebrew they call it aish is path. What's what's the what's the idea of? You want to travel from place to place, you have to carve out you have to dig out a pathway that people should be able to travel is pure. That's what it is. It's not tangible. It's itself, not from something else. So there is an a pathway that channels the into which is something that can be contained. These are the divine hearers which are the cause to flow into so the could be contained init. So titus is unique because it has both components. The lush of is the talis represents like mitzvah theos the tanuk itself not the way it's contained and this the titas themselves are like the cyrus this is the actual flow from it into into that's the reason that the talis doesn't have kadusha and the titas themselves have kadusha based on this is the other way but the answer is because it's so high so the way it comes down into the physical it doesn't look like it has kadusha. The titus is already more contained. So even in the physical titus you have the kadusha but it's because the talis are even higher than the titus. So he says after he speaks about he says and you're going to look at it and you're going to remember all the mitzvah and do them. And then he says don't follow your eyes and your heart which you go astray after them. And then he says you should remember and do all my mitzvah and be holy. And then he says, so he says there's a deeper meaning here. Everybody learns you should remember. There's also another meaning. Lantisu is you should be a you should be masculine. What's what's we spoke in last class? >> Be a man. You should be able to be a what be able to be a there's the masculine energy and the feminine energy. Masculine energy is mashia. Feminine energy is mab receptive. We spoke last year that the idea of masculinity is leadership. You provide, you give, and femininity receives and gives it back to you in an updated version. Just like mother earth takes a seed and gives you back a tree. A woman takes a seed of the husband and nine months later may give him a child. So the macabel receives, channels it, processes it in its own unique way and then gives it back to you, but it's a whole different upgraded version. But the macabel only works with that which you give. The earth doesn't just give you a tree. You have to plant a seed. The woman doesn't just give birth to a baby. The man has to contribute something. You say, "Yeah, how could you compare?" True. But it always begins this initiation of the mashia and then the gives it back. So he says without this is always feminine, receptive. The PK says in Hashem tells Kava, "Your craving will be to your husband." This is what he tells. This is representative of all feminine energy beginning with the Jewish people. Kessus is called Hashem's wife. What does it mean you're Hashem's wife? This is your craving. Feminine energy is I crave to be connected to you. And this isn't a woman and this is in a man. This is the femininity in a man and the femininity in a woman because in every in the physical man and woman you have both. >> Yeah. Our longing to Hashem is feminine energy. That is feminine energy. Feminine energy is longing. That is what it is. It's longing. And that's the essence of life. The essence of life is that we long, right? And the moment we lose touch from that, we lose touch of our femininity. We lose touch of our need for attachment and we create a substitute for that which is always a fake substitute because the only thing that's worse than longing for something and not getting it is starting to believe that you don't need it. You heard what I just said. That's what we do. That's what we do. A lot of men do it. A lot of women do it. I'm longing usually as a child and I don't get it for whatever reason, but I'm not getting it. So instead of sitting with the pain, I don't want to do that. So what do I do? I don't need you. I don't need my mother. I don't need my mother. I'm fine. I don't need my father. I'm fine. At four years old, you're fine. You're fine. Like I'm a frog. I'm actually much closer to being a frog than you being fine. But the the pain of saying I long for something and I don't have it is too intense. So it's much easier to say I don't need you. In fact, I don't need anybody. I don't need anybody in the world. Anybody relates to this? And then we live our whole life proving to ourselves and to the world we don't need anybody. And then when you make a couple of dollars, you really don't need anybody. Sure. >> Feel like we don't deserve it. >> Yeah. It could be I feel I don't deserve it deep down. It could be I feel I will never get it anyway. It could be I feel I'm too needy. I'm too needy. What are you longing for? Like let go. All these things have a common denominator. We lose touch with our femininity. We lose touch with our own femininity. What is femininity? You long for your second half. In this case, you long for Hashem, your essence. You Yeah, we long. We all long for attachment. The human being who does not long for attachment has not yet been created. Not a man and not a woman. This is what femininity is. So that's mabel. So that's step one. Of course I'm I yeah I want to receive. I want you. Whenever said I don't need anybody I'm smart I'm powerful I have enough student no he said I don't want ganed I don't want I WANT YOU BUT YOU I WANT he didn't GET CONFUSED WITH WHAT he wanted. He didn't substitute the you with another thousand baby you know fake THINGS BUT YOU I WANT THAT I'M NOT BEING on to let go of that is letting go of you. There's no what's what's the you. We are born in attachment. We crave attachment because we come from attachment. The moment you stop longing for attachment, you're detached from you. That's the mistake we make. If I don't need anybody, now I'm me. Now I'm safe, right? No. Now there's nothing left of me. Now I have a fake substitute of a self that supplanted the real self. The real eye isn't vus. And all cravings for connections in our world is just a reflection of that. Just like we said, every tyog in the world is a reflection of the original tanog. The question is how far, how distorted? Either it's aligned or not aligned. And that's why the best relationships down here in the world are relationships that are reflecting your longing for God. If I'm attracted to God through you, that's powerful attraction. It's all an extension of your longing for Hashem. That's our longing for people also. That is a longing that is going to be very beautiful and functional. Those are going to be the most powerful relationships. But when I'm longing for somebody in lie of Hashem, it's going to be a terrible disappointment. They won't be able to provide it. You're going to drive them crazy. They'll drive you crazy. It's not going to be sustainable. You can't turn them into God. So this is the this is this is here he's saying that's step one. But now there's what's through you have an opportunity not only to be the ultimate receiver from Hashem but to be a mashia to bear to be masculine masculine with God really God now becomes the woman. He says, "Yeah, says you're the one who can access." So you're the one who becomes everything has a source. It's not stra says the husband of the Gar says read it on some means an inheritance. So the says no don't read my rasha read murasa what's mu rasa an arusa is a betrothed bride is called muasa means kadush so who's the masa she is the bride who's the colon the is you the Jew that's why it's called you're a husband of not a master or husband of has the master of terra the man of one of the famous cababalistic works is called they're not even sure who the author is but it's an old work of over there does express like this it says this would connect he fused the above with hashem with David it's like The is detached from Hashem and David was with David generated the flow of this is the real meaning of what's you say learning the word means for her name for her sake so what does it really mean so most people will say not learning to become a big reba or rashiva You're not learning for cover. You're not learning for money. You're not learning so that your doesn't throw you out of the house. You're not learning even for your own intellectual. You're learning. What's lashma? So says the realm is you're learning actually the word lashma for really what what TA needs you to learn it. TA is fine. the book is orphaned without you. So he says David Hamelik gave something to Tyra. He became the masculine that's giving something to the feminine. It starts off with the feminine. You're craving the source but something happens in the process. What happens in the process is you become you give a gift to what do you give a gift to your purity of that the itself is elevated to a space that's even deeper than the on its own and that's for the sake of for her is feminine not masculine doesn't say yeah you're having a bar you have when there's a get is for and lish for her. For her, the Tit is feminine. The Taid IS NOW CRAVING THE JEW. The Titus is longing for you. What's your What are you going to give TA? You being plugged into the You're going to bring into the into the here into the This is what we explained before. It goes back to the rash and the sh there this there's a whole build up here in the m the tuk of hashem goes down all the way it falls falls falls falls so that we should be able to experience the downfall and then the rash the rebound that comes from the mistake from the downfall so that rash creates you have you create a portal for Hashem. What's a portal? The king himself comes out and is revealed through that portal. So what does that represent? That represents that our creates a through which comes out. That's that's one. And then you have this is what the T that comes into the T that comes into. And this is the two parts of the titus. the talis and it sits us his left arm is under my head. It says and his right arm in braces me as he says in the the brackets explains muza represents the mitzvah on the right that's the sh with shin on the right shin has a pint on the right and is always on the left that's on the left that's is the whole Indian here so that's what sitsus does situs has both dimensions of yudeskite there's Tanuk in its own core tuk that is not describable it's not connected to anything it's tuk itself is tuk god is bliss god is love not love from something not bliss from something and then there's the way the tug is accessed the way the tan is contained that's the difference of mitzvah and when we in this world go through all the different pleasures and then ultimately we realize there's only one pleasure and that creates such a longing such a rebound Such a this creates of and becomes shin with a shin and shin with a sin. It plugs into the source of the tenug the highest and here two things happen. One is the way the tanug is accessed into which is containable. That's se here that's sin with a left and it's left because it's gur it's and then sh which is a gate through which the king himself walks in and out is that you have access to the and therefore when a Jew now learns he himself brings that into you enrich you give the depth of the fuse it. That's what David did. You reveal the you reveal the in the before it says, he says something before that he gives a condition. Don't follow your heart and your eyes which can take you astray and turn you into a z. And then he says now you can be masculine says something unbelievable. Firstu said a separate thing. Don't follow your heart and your eyes but you should remember all the mitzvah. He says no only with can all this happen. These are fascinating words. Whenever anything you want means anything you crave means a craving, a yearning, a strong craving is called right in Hebrew. So anything that you're to it, you become in the state of Mabo, a feminine receiver. That's the definition here. You have the definition of femininity is I'm longing. I want that's what it is. I'm looking for an attachment. That's what femininity is. This is not an insult. This is the essence of creation. We look for attachment. Those of us who deny it are not more masculine. We're just amputating our femininity. You understand the difference? Some people some I'm masculine. I'm macho. I don't need anybody. You're not masculine. You just amputated 50% of your soul. That's it. Which means you won't even be able to be masculine because your masculinity will simply be a cover up for the fact that you're not ready to make peace with your femininity, which is not masculinity. So you're the worst. You're the most feminine. >> You need the feminine to be the >> Yeah. Yeah. So he says like this, whenever you crave something, that is nukab. It's longing. I'm looking for something. I'm attached to something. That's what it is. Now, and this is when a person could be a when you're looking for the when you're going to the wrong source for what you're really looking for. When I replace my longing for my husband, what's what's the definition of a there's a we learned to next para a long m about this. He explains the Gmorra says in in this pedic of yama is the real definition of Z and is a woman who was married and went to another husband. So explains what does that mean spiritually speaking when you're in a relationship with somebody and that relationship is an authentic relationship and then I betray that relationship and I go to somebody else. That's what real nus is. If the woman was never married, it's not it's not the definition of z and as he explains in that m what does this mean spiritually? He says you can only be a zena if you were in a real relationship that you betrayed. If I was never that's why he says a person who never felt light and experienced light, they're not betraying God. For them, darkness is light. They're not leaving it. In order to be able to betray the light, you have to experience it. Like just like in a marriage when people had a of a have a good marriage and they experience what it is to be loyal to each other, what it is to experience the frequency of trust, what it is to surrender into the love and arms of another person, what it is to crave attachment and experience it. And then you go and you betray that and you say, "I have now somebody else." That's a stab in the heart. If there was never a relationship, it's not really called means you're betraying a very deep experience. That's what says that somebody who never experienced you never experienced the you're not really you're not really about it's not you're just looking for some form of entertainment. Just give me comfort anything. I'm desperate. I'm not betraying anybody. I'm just desperate for something. It's a very it's a very very important lesson in life. It's a whole different experience. >> Experience a lot of kids that went through the entire system. >> You're right. You're right. >> And they didn't experience >> says further in the mimer. He says further unbelievable. He says and it all depends on the depth of the relationship. A husband and a wife who have an incredible relationship a slight deviation of the loyalty will be considered a betrayal which for another couple doesn't even mean anything. You have couples, the guy is flirting with other women. The woman is flirting with other men. They don't even notice. Yeah. Shine because it's not it's not a compliment. It's not because they're more open, but because their connection is not so deep. They never put all their eggs in one basket anyway. I have a few eggs here. And if you're not good, I have eggs somewhere else. You know, there was a Jewish comedian. He said, "I'm a man of principles. And if you don't like my principles, I have other principles. It's fine. Don't worry. I'm for sale. You like that, huh? I have other principles. It's fine. I don't keep all my You don't keep all your It's When you look married like a stock market, you don't put all your money in in in one stock. >> Huh? Yeah. You have Monday, you have Thursday, you have Shabas, you have Shabas, you have invest trips. But if somebody knows what a relationship is and they experience it now the most subtle subtle deviation is already it's it's a now says that's why people who experience the lus even tyr becomes a betrayal of their soul even tyet what's tyet means I'm flirting with a piece of chocolate what's the big deal >> for somebody else what's the big deal you're flirting with a piece of Yeah. Is not a punishment. It means that a person who's in a relationship with Hashem knows that even when I'm eating something that's permissible, it's an opportunity for a relationship. WHERE YOU WHY YOU WHY YOU WHY YOU FLIRTING WITH A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE OR A PIECE of cake when I'm here. I'm with you. There's a your wife is here. Why are you going to another woman? Your wife is sitting at the table. Why are you now flirting with this woman? I'M NOT FLIRTING. I'M JUST SAYING GOOD CHABAS. So it's always so is relative is relative. What for one person is for another person I don't even know what you're talking about. It's actually FROM I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. You're right. You didn't do anything. But when there's a deep deep relationship then it's a whole different experience. So therefore, what is really what's misplacing what we're looking for? Femininity is when the person now substitutes that and I start having my desires are now to the superficial. This is called tanugum, which means the tanugum that are not aligned with Hashem because I don't know anymore what I'm looking for. I know I'm looking for something. So the Z is looking. She's looking for comfort or he's looking for comfort. They're looking for attachment. Everybody's looking for attachment. But sometimes the real attachment that you're looking for, you don't know that it's available. It may be very hard to get. You may have to work on yourself, whatever it is. So, you do what's called a microwave oven. I want it hot and I want it fast. Your grandmother used to bake a potato for an hour and 25 minutes. And today, you bake your potato in three and a half minutes. If it takes longer, you sue the company. I want it fast and I want it hot. And at least for 10 minutes, it's going to give me an illusion that I'm feeling attachment. Of course, tomorrow I'm going to need more and more and more because it's not real. What do we mean it's not real? It's not filling the void that I'm really searching for. Because to fill that void, you have to be able to confront the pain >> of the void >> of the void. And that's what we don't want to sit with. I don't want to sit with that pain. And if it's real and you learn so you fill it and then why so if you're if it's filled why a few hours later tomorrow you feed them again you already got filled with if it's both the kosher and the both well there's a big difference when it's the craving becomes deeper and deeper but you also know how to fill it. So there's always a craving but you know how to fill it. go more into the relationship. In the other one, you always need another distraction other and it usually needs to be a bigger a bigger a bigger because now you have to compensate for the void that has become even deeper because you realized how much you're not filling it. So the anxiety becomes even more. So you always need more and more and more distractions more distractions. You become cuckoo. The sensations have to be bigger. >> It's insatiable, right? Because you're not really filling your void. To fill your void, you have to acknowledge your void. To acknowledge your void, you have to be able to sit with the discomfort of the pain. To sit with the discomfort of the pain is not comfortable. If that child I spoke about earlier at the age of four said, "I don't need anybody in the world. I don't need anybody in the world. I don't need my mother. I don't need my father." They gave themselves an illusion of independence and they made sure to be in control of this is a very common condition to be in control of every situation to monitor it and you don't trust anybody in the world. You can't. So what happens? You cut off that entire feminine part of yourself. Now you go into a marriage. It's a disaster. Neediness becomes a liability, a weakness. Me need, I don't need anybody. Everybody's going to need me. Nobody. I don't need anybody. This is a very common thing that happens. What do you mean you don't need anybody? What do you mean you don't need anybody? Of course you need. It's the it's the it's the great Thank God you need. >> Yeah. You got to imagine a guy before he proposes to his to his to to the woman, he says, "By the way, let me tell you what type of man I am. I'm the best type of guy to be married to. You know why? I don't need you." Amazing. You want to leave the house for 3 months? Gazenta. You want to be home and not show up for me? I don't need you. I don't need you. I'm macho. I'm masculine. I'm powerful. I'm independent. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD SAY, "WOW, I LOVE THAT." RIGHT? WHAT ARE MOST WOMEN GOING TO DO? It's like, "Go find somebody else." Why? It's amazing. Your husband doesn't need you. Great. It's the most painful thing for a woman when she feels that her husband doesn't need her. I don't know if there's there's too many things that are more painful. Why? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. GO SPOIL YOURSELF. What if she needs it 24/7? >> Oh, so real femininity is yearning 24/7. That's the beauty of femininity. It's becoming comfortable with the fact that we are yearning for attachment 24/7. And to be emotionally healthy means to know this, to be aware of this, to be vulnerable. We are vulnerable. That's the beauty of the feminine. in each and every one of us. >> But it's not a realistic, right? So, >> so now we HAVE TO WORK IT OUT. So that's why we have just like you can't be in 24/7. Even when you're in work, there's still connection. It's a different type of connection. We're always connected. Is the state of life. That's what it means to be. To be means you crave is your fire. That's your fire. And you don't let go of that. Don't let go of that. The woman who lets go of that seizes to be a woman. And the man who lets go of that seizes to be a real man who includes the capacity and the experience of femininity. >> This is this is this is it. So So what's a Zena? A Z is a mabel. But what's what's she Makab from? She's looking for another man. When is she a real Zena? If she was married. If she was if she's not married, it's not as real Zina. Why? Because a real marriage means you are in this relationship. He's present for you and you're with him. There's a you open your heart to him and he opened your heart to you. And now there could be a real betrayal. Now we all know there could be marriages that are officially they're married but not really married but is bringing out the pimius of it in our relationship with Hashem only somebody who experienced the elus could be called a z if not you're not a you're not a z you're a desperate you're a desperate soul looking for comfort it's very different than you're not betraying betraying means there was a relationship and I'm betraying you for something external I didn't betray you I never knew to you. I never connected to you. Like I told you when we learned this on Shambas that the Reb so keenly understood this right after the Holocaust when you started to say now when you're talking to the Jewish people you're not talking to Zum anymore to be a Z you have to experience the bliss of and then you tell God you know what I have a better husband than you bye but a Jew who saw Awitz instead of trebling instead of Mitsay Dau instead of the and Bergen Belin instead of the Nana that's not. So you have to give the right diagnosis. Don't give this generation a diagnosis there is Zoim. They're not Zoim. They were broken. They were devastated. They were shattered. Faketi said the fact that they still want to be Jewish is an incredible divine spiritual phenomenon. That's what you have to focus on. and from there build them up. This was a very such a keen understanding right after the war that we all know instinctively how true that is. We see it with ourselves. We see it with our kids. So he said you have to you have to change your whole posture of how you relate to others. It's not a to be a Zena is a very it's a high madrega. To be a real zer you have to be a madrega. And if not you may be making a terrible mistake. You may be ending up in the abyss, but it's not an Indian of the he says in in in the m over there it's it's a it's he says it's column column three he says if you never saw light you go to darkness you're not betraying the light for you the darkness is the light they're not betraying the light they never saw Right? If I grew up on candies, right, and lollipops, that's for me, you know, this is what my mother served me as healthy food. Like, what do you want? They're not rejecting healthy food. This is all they know. Their bodies have become toxic. They don't know anything else. For them, poison is light. He said the person never saw light, so darkness is light. Then if you ever had a hakar IN A NOW YOU could be a zus. So this is the so this says here. So the of is you wanted to ask something. >> The mabo gives back what they receive but an updated version. >> Of course that's the satisfaction of the mashia. It's a tremendous satisfaction when the mashpia gets it back but with a whole different experience. But he must initiate. The macabel wants to work with something that she got from him. I don't care if you gave me a little seed, but don't run away. You give something and then I'll already give it back to you. I'll give it back to you much better than you ever gave it to me. And that's what happens in in marriages. The husband comes up with an idea. I told you what I heard from trips, right? The husband comes up with an idea for trip. The woman completely destroys the idea. Doesn't make sense. It's ridiculous. You're out for lunch. She takes his plan. She tears it up. He comes up with a whole other plan, right? So the next he makes this f foolish mistake. SAYS, "THIS TIME YOU plan the trip." Bad. Bad. No, you plan the trip. Present it to your wife. She'll completely destroy it and do a whole other version. It'll be worse than AI. Her update will be worse, more dramatic than AI. But you have to initiate. That's how God made it. Yeah. >> Oh, so it starts off with a >> mash is >> and then you become a mash. That's what he's going to say. Now that's what's whenever you crave something, you're feminine. And if you're craving the wrong person or the wrong things which are not feeding what you're really craving, that's Zena. You know what happens then? When you become a spiritually, you will never be able to receive divine bliss anymore because you filled your system with fake bliss. You're going to have to choose. You can't be in a relationship with two men or with two women today. It doesn't work. If you went away from him because you want him, you can't come back the next night and say, "I'm here." It doesn't work to really be the you have to be open to that. You have to be longing for it. But when it comes to the cover or the validation or the I'm completely immersed now it comes TO DONING GOD I'M READY FOR YOU. It's like one night I went to one man the next night I come back to my husband. It's not it's not going to it's not going to go in. If you want to be el I have to be able to be clear. I have to be able to be translucent. You can't have the cake and eat it too because it's two different owners. It's two different experiences to receive the ting of elus. You have to be open to lus. I have to let go of other things. I can't be addicted to alcohol. I can't be addicted to gambling. I can't be addicted to pornography. But I also want an authentic relationship with a woman. You're going to have to choose unless you live in Brooklyn. and then come and nineas but every will get you for three and a half minutes you're not dancing while you're dancing you're looking at your phone when is the lift for the next wedding you understand that's what it is because you're not present you can't be present this is true even in this world I can't do two things at the same time when it comes to it's infinitely more because here your antennas have to be clear if I'm flirting with the chocolate if I'm flirting with my money if I'm flirting flirting with my coveted, if I'm flirting with my validation, if I'm flirting with people liking me, I can't be open to the divine infinity to flow through me. It's just not going to happen. It's a literally a choice you make every day. What where you going to live, what you're open to, which husband, which man are you ready to receive from? And it's a question. In this case, the good news is when it comes to a physical man, you don't know if he's always available. Your husband may be in a bad mood. He may got his own trauma. You know, he's always running away. When it comes to this case is always available. God didn't go on vacation. >> My love never changed. I'm as crazy about you today like I was 5,000 years ago. I'm not bored of you. How do I How could you prove it? I CREATED YOU AGAIN. I I am invested. I'm still invested. I created you again. I'm still here. See, so now the question is, can you open your heart to be in flow with infinity? I can't be stuck in other places that's not in flow. So he says when you're a you won't be able to I told you the he said why is he so much in mitzvah yet he knew all this and mitzvah wasn't OCD but he knew that every every of of mitzvah it's literally keeping the heart open the space of the heart open to be able to experience the radio waves the frequencies of elos And if I shut down to it, I shut down to it. I'm not going to be able to the next day. Now I want to be at Mabo. It doesn't start. It starts the day after sukus. It's it's what where you live. Where am I living? are if you become a Zer you won't be able to be feminine to the divine certainly you'll never be able to become masculine if you're a Zer two things happen he says first of all you can't be mab from because you're mabel from from the from that's number one certainly you won't be able to be a you're a So only now you could be a man and now in another and this is what he means here. You're going to make the mitzvah. Not you're going to do the mitzvah. You're going to make the mitzvah. This is enough for somebody who understands. This is enough. You're going to be the masculine. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE THE MITZVAH. How you going to make the mitzvah? Because you're going to bring the to the mitzvah. You become the mitzvah. >> YOU BECOME YOU MAKE YOU MAKE THE YOU MAKE THE MITZVAH. What does it mean you make the mitzvah? Because you become the s you you're plugged into atmos. So you're the source of bliss. So you bring that into the mitzvah. So here's this is this is like there's no words. What is saying is the mitzvah here needs the drew. The mitzvah is a contained act. The is a contained idea. You're not contained. You're a when you find out who you are first you have to be a mabo. You let go of everything and in that process you become not only A CHANNEL FOR GOD'S TEN YOU ARE HASHEM'S YOU'RE YOU'RE THE MAN YOU'RE THE YOU'RE THE suddenly the mitzvah become the receptive feminine energy that get from you the because you you are like Hashem you're so you become not creation creator through complete b through complete mabel you become ashia you become the source of t you remember a few days ago mia said this he said that it's not the ver of the mime is not that you're receiving tug you're also receiving but the real v is you're looking for the tenug look inside of you you're the source and that's the deepest truth that's the the of is saying here we're all looking for pleasure we forgot one thing you are the source of it of Of course, we look for pleasure. I want this and I want this and I want this and I want this. But really, go to the mirror and look into yourself cuz you are the source of the tug you're looking for. You know why? Because the source of all the tyug is atmos. And Hashem put atmos because you're a big arrogant psych psychopath, but because you know how to be. So now suddenly the and the mitzvah are from you. That means the is you're learning the gam you're giving something to the gra because you become literally a channel for and suddenly the is now you're channeling it. You give y a gift. You bring Yiddishai to a place that is deeper than what it is on its own without you. You give IT THE ITSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SOURCE. YOU'RE THE YOU'RE NOT JUST the says for this there's one condition. Don't become a Z. WHEN YOU BECOME A ZENA, TWO THINGS HAPPEN. FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN'T RECEIVE and certainly you can't give. First of all, you can't even receive. You can't even be a woman. You can't even be feminine to God. You can't receive. YOU'RE PLUGGED. YOU SHUT DOWN. >> He can give but a wrong energy. >> Yeah. Yeah. You'll always give. You'll receive a wrong energy. You'll give a wrong energy. >> God always gives. If you just don't get >> Yeah. I'm not in that. I'm not in flow. I plug the antennas and I go to something else. Like a Zena. I'm not in the relationship anymore. And this is the hardest thing for men and women today. This is one of the hardest thing for men and women to stay and work it out. look at each other and say, "This is where we have to work it out." Oh, it's too painful. So, he runs to someone else. She runs to someone else. Whether it's physically or emotionally, whether it's in dramatic ways or in subtle ways, but everybody's busy running to somewhere else. And by the way, today people have second marriages. It's called the phone. It's always available. >> Huh? And you have a YouTube is the YouTube is the Tik Tok is the whatever it is. So what what are all these relationship? All these relationships is you don't have to work it out with them. With a it's very easy. It's one night give me a couple of bucks and next it's fine. Next move boom boom boom. There's no loyalty. You don't have to work anything out. >> That's interesting. >> There's no such a thing that the timing of is boring. It never was boring. It never it can't be boring. >> Right. But but that's only but that >> but then it's a because it's a because it's a distraction of but if that relationship is channeling God it can't be boring. The word God can be boring but God is not a God is just a Greek word. You're right. The word God could be very boring and scary and overwhelming. Seriously, how do you deal with man's problem which is you know man's needs a space and time to do whatever he is destined to do in military but somebody demands you 24/7 you know you can't go to >> in a real rel it's a great question some women want attention 24/7 and men need their own space by the way sometimes it works also the other way around Yeah, >> men want attention 24/7 and the women want their own space. I'm just saying let's be fair. >> Let's take the majority. >> Yeah, >> especially there may be more women that watch this Shia than men. Just for the record, for my little statistics, from the feedback I get, there's more women who learn than men. But that's right. But the truth is this is where relationships need to be worked out because if if the relationship is one in which I need the person 24/7, it's because I'm not ready to face my own stuff. And if I'm not ready to face my own stuff, the relationship is going to be flawed very deeply because my wife and my husband cannot fill the voids that I need to work on within myself. A man and a woman who's not ready to face their own internal pain and challenges by definition they're going to put it on the other person. My wife cannot heal my childhood wounds. She can't. And I cannot heal my wife's childhood wounds. I could support her. She could support me. We can hold space for each other. We can talk about it. We can have empathy. But my wife my wife once told me a good line. She said, "Most men today are not they're not marrying wives. They're marrying their mothers. They're looking for a mother that they never had. They get married and they want their wife to be their mother. And of course, they're disappointed because their wife is not their mother. She can't be even if she wants to. AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO. EVEN IF SHE WANTS TO, she can, but she doesn't want. And then, and the same is true with women. They're not marrying husbands. They're marrying their fathers. They're trying to get a husband who's going to heal all the wounds that their father caused them intentionally or unintentionally. AND THE POOR GUY IS SUPPOSED TO BE their father. He can't be their father. Doesn't want to be their father. It's a very powerful observation. >> Well, actually, a man can be a father. >> He can't be her father. He could be her husband. >> A woman could be a mother, too. Trust me, >> you can treat her as a daughter. >> You could treat her as a daughter in a beautiful way if you mean it that way. >> But, but my point is it's not fear and it doesn't make sense. The husband cannot heal the woman's wounds and the woman cannot heal the husband. Everybody has to face themselves and do the work that they need to do. In a good relationship, you talk about it. You can hold space for each other. You can work. You can be a tremendous support for each other. But he can't I can't expect if my wife didn't respond in this way that I needed my mother to respond to when I was two years old. Now I'm in a I'm in a bad mood for a week. This is what happens. You don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. >> No. >> If you don't know what I'm talking about, fine. It's fine. I stand by what I say. This is true. And this is true in every in every relationship. The more we work. So So when when a woman tells a hug, I need you 24/7. You can't do anything else. >> There's something that you you need to face certain things in you. That's not what a relationship is. It's even true with Hashem. When you say anoid, right, and is 24/7, what does that look like? It doesn't mean you go into now you need to eat. Now you need to sleep. Why are you going to sleep? That's not the relationship. The relationship is I want you to be you. And in you being you, we are going to connect. >> Go to work. >> God is okay with that. >> Not only okay with that, he created you to be you. If he wanted you to be infinitely divine, you know what he could have done? He could have not created me to be me. He could have just >> remain. We could have remained. Somebody once saidi told his wife. He just put in an extra v. Right. This is quoting quoting. The other guy said, "What's the difference?" V comes from. That's it. Same thing. Thank God. I'm happy that I'm not the person I was yesterday. Supposed to change every day. You're supposed to change. >> I'll tell you an interesting thing. >> Trauma. >> Uh, how do you deal with spouse trauma? >> Yeah, it's there. No, inevitable. >> She's asking the same question. >> Very good. For those who didn't just told the man, she's asking the same question about you. How do you deal with spouse trauma? The answer to this is like this. We cannot deal with somebody else's trauma. What we can do is we can become the blessing that we're looking for in somebody else. And we can radiate what it is to live in a higher space, in a deeper space. And we can inspire confidence and safety for other people to do their work. That's what we can do. Everybody needs to face their own pain because that's the system that Hashem made. I cannot heal anybody else. I can heal myself and that's a lot. So it's very important to understand that. I'm going to quote another brilliant thing my wife once told me. She says, "When you play chess with somebody, you could never move their pieces. Never can you move somebody else's pieces. So, it seems like you're stuck." She said, "No, move your own piece." And then they're forced to move theirs. You know, life is a dance. It's a dance. But when I change my position in the dance, it stimulates you. It inspires you to change your position. I cannot dance for you and I cannot tell you dance this way, dance that way. You're dancing the wrong way. You don't know HOW TO DANCE. WHY DID COME TO THE WEDDING to embarrass me? I can't. I'm not responsible for your dance. But I could change my dance and everything changes. Literally in chess. You see it, right? You moved your queen and suddenly they're like, I got I got to get my act together. And it's so true in life, right? We're always busy moving everybody else's pieces. You cannot move anybody else's pieces. Sorry, you can't. You could try. It's not going to work. They're going to move it right back. On the contrary, they're going to move it back with more vengeance to prove you to prove to you that you can't move it. But when you really play your game with your highest version of self as a great chess champion, then the person sitting against you your whole life is going to move their pieces. So that's really the truth here, Josh. Now you're in touch with your femininity. >> Okay, good. >> When does the transition happen from being a receiver from Hashem to then? >> Excellent question. When does the transition happen? It's always happening. >> We're always masculine and we're always feminine. But the real transition happens when we're not looking. It means when I'm not trying to control it. This is not like a checklist. Uh this is not like a checklist. After you finish all your checklist, that's when you can start learning sidas. There's no checklists here. This is graduating checklists and transactions. You're not trying to get anywhere. You're being this is your channeling. Getting somewhere is the ego. It's the need for it's the ego. So it's not like when do I become this, when do I become that. It's it's when the person is in their authentic flow, we dance in both positions. You know there's there's feminine there's masculine and there it's both in each of us in each man and each woman. So when there's when you cut out this no so now first of all you can channel Hashem's tuk. you could start experiencing it. And this is where discipline in life comes in. We're not disciplined in life because we want to be hard on ourselves. We want to be disciplined in life because we want to be able to experience ourselves. Discipline is a gift. Yeah. This even this line it's a it's it's it's a game changer in how you look at discipline. You know, we look at discipline is like don't be aong, don't be a balty. It's like God is trying to spoil all the fun in the world. Everybody's having fun and then comes and then is even worse and tries to spoil all the fun in the world. At least in you have a few loopholes. Not much but at least you have a couple of loopholes once you start learning. Leave me alone. The last kishmach you have to take away the Sunday afternoon, you know, big barbecue mashiach, right? That's what Monas told Altera like what are you doing? What do you what do you want? Like it's not hard enough to be an or a good from Jew in in in in Bellerus in the 1700s. Like Jews don't have it hard enough. Like let's kill the last pleasure. What are you doing? YEAH. Now you have to make it shredded. So the way we look at it is it's like there's always this this sinister this sinister uh religion that like needs to take away everything. YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES THAT ARE FREE. BY you're ON THE PLANE. WHY ON THE PLANE? OH, BRING A GAMUT on the plane. I tell them they're not listening enough to my sharim. >> You listen to me. We listen enough. So what do you what do you respond? >> You don't have to respond. It's it's again you're moving their chest pieces. Stop moving other people's chest pieces. >> Yeah. Don't move. So I pick up the >> So the the real the real of the real of all discipline now it's a whole different it's when you have a marriage that is incredibly blissful and meaningful. You got to be freaking out of your mind to go to a nightclub or a hotel to do. That's what all discipline means according to the alterup. You're not crushing. You're not destroying the contrary. You want to keep your heart open to be able to be channeling that frequency of delight and ecstasy that you have in your relationship. It says in Tanya, what is Hashem? What does it mean to fear Hashem? It means you're afraid of ruining such a powerful relationship. That's what he says in pericutest. That's hashem. You're afraid to dis I don't. Yeah. I'm afraid to do something that I know is going to create a disconnection. If you hate your wife, you want to do things that disconnect you. Throw me out. If you have if you have amazing moments together, yeah, even if it's pleasure, I could see a beautiful woman and I could pursue her and I can have a half an hour of crazy pleasure. You know what? I have to be crazy nuts in my mind to destroy what I built with love, sweat, tears, muses over 20 years, over 30 years, over 25 years, over 10 years. To destroy that, you have to be freaking out of your mind to destroy such such an edifice, destroy your family, your ch. Yeah. You and when you're sensitive and when you have a real relationship with any even the smallest thing could be a a rel a betrayal. Of course you want to be disciplined. It's the healthiest thing in the world. The most beautiful thing in the world. I'm sitting on an airplane. I'm not a I'm in a relationship. I'm in flow. You're in flow on an airplane. You're in flow in the airport. You're in flow when you're in the bathroom. Discipline means real self-respect, real self-love. It means you know who you are. You're showing up for your relationship. You're showing up to be a mab and then to be a mashpia. You're not a spineless, desperate, wretched soul. That was good. You're not a spineless, desperate, wretched soul that just looks mamaisha zina. Mamaish a harlot. Give me comfort. Give anybody. Anybody? Sometimes we live in a posture of we're basically looking for anybody who could fill our void. Oh, the phone. Okay, now I have a phone. Now I have somebody giving me attention. Now I have a movie. Now I have a woman. NOW I HAVE A WHATEVER IT IS. I'm looking looking. Oh, there's a kdish. Let me go eat. It's like you're you're a desperate mabel. You're a desperate zer. Meaning just looking for anybody who could fill my void for 20 minutes and then I go to the next the next the next. It's always distraction after distraction. All I have is distractions. I never touched my own energy. I don't even know what it is. Now, we live in a world where you could set yourself up for distractions throughout the day and then throughout the night. enough. Three hours you have a movie. Another three hours you have clips. Another three hours you try to make money. Another three hours you go here, you go there, you go there. And then you're exhausted. You fall asleep. You go to the next distraction. It's called sleep. And at the end of the day, you know that inside you're tortured. You know it. You feel it. You feel it. So you go to another distraction. Let me make let me eat some steak now. So for 20 minutes you're happy. Then you have to go to the bathroom. Okay. So now you're in your phone with the bathrooms. You have another distraction for half an hour. And then you go to the next distraction. And some of us live our entire lives that way. Even though we call ourselves from and you could wear a on shabas or a hat on shabas or a beckish on shabas whatever it is and a big gle but deep down shabas is just another distraction. This is what's happening. I'm right I'm right what I'm saying or not. >> I'm describing it correctly. >> What's the solution to start? How do you do that? You should be listening to my classes. >> You know the doctors who have one medicine for everything? They don't care. They charge the same price, but it's one medicine for everything. >> That's true. I know that. >> I know that. I know that. How do you find Hashem to be the source of bliss? >> Especially when I'm angry at him. Especially when this happened and that happened and that happened and this torture. I get it. We're angry at God. I get it. That's the healing. told >> I know >> or I was told that God hates me. God like as much as I hate him, he hates me even more because he's infinite. So his hate is infinite. My hate is finite. This is this is Yeah. This is it. >> Right. >> Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's why we go into distractions. It's available. It's available. It's fast. It's accessible. It's easy. And you can't be disciplined your whole life and not feel any positive relationship. Then it's just negative. That's why we got this negative idea about discipline. Because when you're just disciplining yourself and you don't you're not getting anything else like the woman who who's not with anybody else but she doesn't have a husband. Like how long do you want me to be like this? Like's daughter. What do you want me to be segregated from the whole world? At least let me have I can't have you. Let me have something else. There's a tus in that Alicia's mistake was he heard that he's not going to have he said I'm not going to have there was once aid who said he said at least at least something exact opposite it. Some people say if not at least and he said at least I have that MS suicide. >> It's not suicide. You're taking it's I'm not going to I'm not going to >> I'm not going to create a fake substitute for what I'm really looking for. That's what he meant. I'm not going to become a Zena just because I can't experience the relationship I'm looking for in its full glory. I'm not going to run anywhere else. That's what he meant. Which of course means that he's in a relation. Huh? >> Of course, Alicia's mistake was a very common mistake. If I can't have you and I can't have me, let me have whatever is available. Anyway, so huh? >> So that's what all discipline is. All discipline is the respect for what is available in life. It's actually a very very like discipline is the health. It's it's it's the it's the most self-respecting thing in the world. >> Show up to yourself. >> Not punishment. Yeah, >> showing up. >> Yes, discipline is showing up for yourself to respect the energy that you could be channeling every moment of the day. Even if it's sometimes hard, it's not always, it doesn't start with the fact that I'm an ecstasy and therefore I'm disciplined. No, I'm not an ecstasy. But the discipline is making a statement that this is what I'm choosing. >> Yeah. Better to sit with the void. Better to sit with a void that will bring me to the relationship I'm looking for than to cover up the void by a distraction that will simply further alienate me from who I am. But it's harder. It's harder to sit with that void because it's sitting with a void. But sitting with that void will open me up to that relationship. not ignoring it and not not substituting it with a cover up. So that's the key. That's the key before this whole discussion. That's the key. Once that happens, first of all, you could receive and now something else happens. You become the you create, you make the mitzvah. You hear the not you're going to perform, not you're going to fulfill. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE THEM my mitzvah. The mitzvah needs you. You're the You're the This is the woman and the man. You're the one who makes the mitzvah mitzvah. What do you mean you make the mitzvah mitzvah? You make the mitzvah. You bring into the mitzvah something very powerful because you're channeling. You're you're the source. How did you become a source of were you? The answer is you weren't a Z. You didn't run. So you're Mabel and then you realize it's you. So now you're actually the wow. SO WHEN YOU'RE LEARNING THE GAR becomes because of you. But this of course only happens from the tremendous b. This is not an arrogant experience. This is complete b. But in that b you become source. You're not channeling source. You are source. And that's what isma means. Means the starts dancing from your experience. I just want took out a gam to learn the relationship. Wasn't I'm now going to learn a piece of gam. I'm going to learn a piece of gam. And the gamorra now is dancing like the dancing over the kala. You understand the type of learning. So now has a whole different meaning. You're not you're not letting it do anything. every moment, every spare moment that a person has was like the greatest gift in the world. Why would you want me to abandon this and and what what's the alternative? What are you giving me? Netflix, tell me what you're giving me. Now, you have to have a very good reason. If I have to go to the bathroom, then I'm serving God. And if I need to eat and I need to bring panosa to my family because we hate when people enjoy themselves. We just want to keep them suppressed and repressed and quarantined and imprisoned so we could control their minds and we want to make them as miserable as possible. And today the rebellion in the in the F world, you know, the Karedi world, there's a secret rebell. It's not so secret anymore. What's the secret rebellion? You see rebellion is we found every alternative and I'm not judging anybody cuz I get it very well. But we found every possible way in to be able to enjoy life like the Gentiles. But essentially they create the standards of bliss. So today we have every conceivable type of vacation. But it's all from now. Many ways it's beautiful that we live in a generation where there's so much prosperity and you could do every enjoyment in the world. Fine. Everybody sort of have amazing amazing the most expansive brilliant luxurious uh adventures and vacations all ales within Rabbi Lando whatever. Huh? Yeah. The question has asked ourselves is very often is there a deep deep disassociation and deep pain and a void that's not be that that that that's not being addressed. >> They don't know they have a void. >> Well, you know you have a void. >> I know you have. >> You think you're the only one who knows you have a void. >> Whoever is in this class knows they have a void. Nobody comes here cuz they don't have a void, right? I don't mean I don't mean to denigrate anybody, but nobody comes here because they don't have A VOID. AND THANK GOD THEY KNOW they have a void. The moment you the moment you think you don't have a void, which means you're not feminine anymore, get out. No, most pe a lot of us don't want to sit with the void. So I think if I go on this most extravagant experience, it's going to fill my void. Now the extravagant experience is a good thing. It's a beautiful thing. But only if you realize that the only thing that's going to fill your void is internal work. That's the only thing. Nothing else is going to fill it. And then when you go to this and this particular place in the world, it could be of the ocean is also God. We're not we're not afraid of the world. We're not afraid of the world. But the world is not going to substitute your tanuk. There's only one source of tuk. So after you know why do I care if you're a I care you're a because I want you to be a because I want you to know your power because I want you to know that you're a source. Again we're talking to men and women. You think I don't forget if you're a Zena if you're Z. Big deal. What? Well, he's so afraid of people being Z. The answer is you're never going to know who you are. You're never going to know that you're the you're the you're the source. You're the one that brings INTO THE WORLD. YOU ARE. YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. You're the best thing that ever happened to the world. YOU YOU'RE THE YOU'RE the you're going to be a Z BECAUSE YOU'RE A DESPERATE wretched soul think seeking gratification from the whole world YOU DON'T REALIZE YOU'RE THE GUY YOU'RE THE ONE THEY'RE waiting for you say me I don't have anything to offer I'm just a boring guy when you'll stop being a you'll see you're not so boring you're going going to make the mitzvah based on all this. We're going to understand the two which has the talis and has the the cyus the two elements and now you understand why the talis is gatrius and the the karim and the is the number itself because gimatria is not a direct association it's the number five and eight is the direct number when you're talking about the cyus it's actually channeled it's containable When you talk about the talis which is the itself it's a because it's not revealed in a direct way because you're talking about the which can't be contained. So that's why this part is anatria and this part is the number itself. So even that's this is titus and this is the the titus includes the whole thing. Even the talis is called titsus. When we say titsus I don't just mean the fringes. You don't it means the whole the whole mitzvah. sitsus is the whole the whole mitzvah. Everybody have an amazing day filled with tinug the tinog of inside the tug of mitzvah and we should be able to be feminine and we should be able to be masculine by being feminine. You can be masculine. You see it's also interesting. You can't become masculine if you're not feminine. If you don't know what you're looking for, you'll never be masculine. You know why your masculinity is going to be fake? Only when you're receptive and you're longing and you know what you're longing for can you then also be masculine. It's fascinating. Only when could you become lont everybody have an amazing day. I want to thank Aaron Fman for giving the remember and he gave it to me cuz he didn't want that my shoulders should be bent in his wife who just passed away. Huh? >> Yeah. Thank you to Bon. Thank you to Baron. >> This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.