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We Are All Addicts Trying to Escape Self-Consciousness
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Lecture on Addiction - How to Prevent Your Children from Addiction This lecture was presented at an Addiction Awareness Event by the AZ House Jerusalem (https://www.azhousejerusalem.com) on Tuesday Parshas Ki Seitzei, 10 Elul, 5779, September 10, 2019, at the Ohr Chaim Shul, Monsey, NY
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the yeshiva dotnet so welcome everybody
and I want to thank you for the
privilege of inviting me to such an
important evening and an important event
I'm sure you'll hear more about this
special center of recovery in the Holy
Land the way I got involved with this
was a very close friend who has two
children who both fell prey to the
calamity and disease of addiction and
did not have the funds to be able to
find an appropriate center of recovery
some of them are great some of them are
lousy some of them are okay some of them
are horrible some of them are
extraordinary but all of them cost a lot
of lot a lot of money and in great
desperation and yearning he discovered
this a-z house in arity Searle and two
of his children not one but two of his
children experienced tremendous
emotional and spiritual and mental
growth from the abyss of addiction to
the blessings and healings of recovery
and the hearing about this from his
personal point of view compelled me on
an emotional level to be to be part of
it I don't know if there's any other
Center in Israel is probably not right
that takes in addicts on eight month
program and literally feeds them and
nurtures them mom-ish for free so number
one it's good for people to have
awareness people have children nephews
nieces cousins friends relatives
community members sometimes you see
posts you see emails it's important for
people to be educated about alternatives
and the possibilities for hope for
healing and for recovery
which brings us of course to a much
larger issue it's not a larger issue
it's all part
of the same issue and that is our
attitude towards addiction and recovery
and I want to with your permission but
address that for a few a few moments I'm
gonna start off with a story about the
baal shem tov it's a very strange story
but I think the story contains profound
relevant depth on this topic I heard
this story from one of my teachers his
name is your boy al Khan I heard it from
him many many years ago I was a young
boxer I was a young man a student of
Shiva's student I didn't really
understand it at the time I was amused
by the story I thought it was charming
and strange I didn't understand it today
I probably still don't understand it but
I think I understand it a little better
and he taught it told us that there was
a tradition among Hassidim that the baal
shem tov used to davon he would pray for
very long hours and there was a fellow
who would come every day or almost every
day to observe the darling of the baal
shem tov now this fellow was not a
disciple he was not a student he was not
a faucet he was not a learner Julie was
not a simple Jew he was actually what we
would call today an addict and he was an
addict to alcoholism he wasn't just
somebody who said look I am from time to
time he was an alcoholic in the fullest
sense of the word which by the way also
applies to people who say look I am from
time to time they just don't call it
alcoholism they call it
lehayim but that's just often
camouflaging a disease which is sad this
fellow was a tremendous alcoholic and he
would stay there for the praise of the
baal shem tov and then when the darvany
was over he would go to a bar what they
used to call a Kretschmer on in a
full-fledged bar in measure bush in the
ukraine and he would drink and drink and
drink incessantly he was what they
called the classic shaker the classic
inebriated
circuited alcoholic to the point that he
was date on a daily basis smashed and
stoned till he woke up went back to the
bush on to the Avenue and right after
that he went to drink and they once
asked him what's going on most people
when they heard a davon in from the Baal
Shem Tov they went to learn after they
went to davon themselves they went to do
a mitzvah they were inspired to serve
Hashem with more enthusiasm this is what
you're doing with the Dominique of the
Baal Shem Tov what's the meaning of this
and the man he said something very
profound I can't remember it's many
years if he said it or somebody else
explained that but this was the
explanation every craving in life is
finite every tire is finite meaning we
all have cravings intense cravings but
how big are those cravings they're all
limited by definition people are mortal
and our cravings are also finite and
mortal he said I knew I can go drink I
like alcohol but it's gonna be a very
limited craving and therefore the
satisfaction is always as intense as the
craving you all know it especially those
who have experienced a little bit
addiction in their life that the
satisfaction is always as intense as the
craving and the promise of it seems so
powerful before you do it and then after
you do it it's like what's next that
tomorrow you need a greater dosage in
order to satisfy yet a deeper void and
the vicious cycle moves on and here he
said something unbelievably profound he
says but the Baal Shem Tov is davin Inc
touches on the infinite the Baal Shem
Tov's darvany touches on the ain't safe
the Baal Shem Tov was yearning for the
infinite and he was touching the
infinite he said ah after that when I go
to drink I'm not just looking for a
drink the search for the alcohol is so
much deeper
it's so much more profound it's so much
more intense and when I finally get the
drink ah Maya and tomorrow I come back
for more well this person was saying was
really the way I understand that is
something very profound addiction is not
the problem
addiction is the solution what we always
have to identify is what's the problem
it's very easy to call addiction the
problem it's easy he's an addict she's
an addict our community is full of
addicts the problem of addiction we hear
more different and we hear every day
about that's the problem of course I
know that but that's a very limited
perspective and doesn't help us much
actually it distracts us from our
responsibility you see my dearest
friends for the addict addiction is not
the problem
addiction is the solution addiction is
the place where she or she runs to in
order to ease the pain in order to numb
the anxiety in order to fill the void
yes to ease the pain superficially to
numb the anxiety in a false way to fill
the void in a way that's going to come
back to haunt him or her but in his
impoverished perception this is my
solution this is my Messiah this is my
Messiah this is my god
just get me into the casino just get me
into that website just get me into this
club just give me this alcohol just get
me this substance I don't have to
elaborate on more everybody knows what
I'm talking about
that's my solution that's my false
messiah which may last for five minutes
may last for three minutes may last for
an hour a few hours it's that high that
just allows me to distract myself from
who I am and where I am and from
my pain that's my solution that's not my
problem
addiction is the solution you know what
we have to talk about what's the problem
that's driving him or her to the
solution ooh this is a much more
difficult question it's easy to curse
out addiction and we all know how
horrible that is but that's the facade
that's his solution now I want to know
what's the problem
what is eating up inside what is eating
him up inside what is the worm what is
the disease what are the thoughts what
is going on in his psyche what is the
problem that is driving this person to
the solution for that we have to look
deep inside ourselves for that we have
to look deep inside our homes for that
we have to look deep inside our
communities for that we have to look
deep inside our owner summers the way we
communicate with our children the way we
communicate with ourselves the
experience that a young generation is
getting what is happening in people's
lives that is causing them so much
untold pain that they are ready to allow
themselves to run to this solution which
we call the disease of addiction
I was once speaking with that rabbi dr.
Shi at worst ski Rabbi Abraham torski
who is a one of the well-known gurus in
the Jewish world in the world of
recovery we were together in Boca Raton
for a Chaba tone and I asked him and I
said Ralph tour by torski
you have been 60 years in this field
what did you learn in 60 years you know
he smiled what's that Tom was like the
convertor comes to Hillel wants to learn
the whole tire on one foot I said I'm
not asking for everything I'm just
asking something meaningful that you
learned - 60 years of dealing with
addiction and he told me something very
very deep and he said 60 years of
experience have taught me that the
addict among us are usually the most
spiritual and
most sensitive we often look at them and
say the dregs of society he said it's
the contrary everyone has pain in life
everybody experiences pain but many
people just know how to dismiss the pain
everyone experiences hypocrisy not
everybody but many people a lot of
people experience lies toxicity abuse
dysfunction to one degree or another but
many people know how to just gloss over
it and distract themselves in easy ways
but those who are the most spiritual
among us and the most sensitive among us
their needs are so much deeper because
they need truth they need to be really
really connected and when they don't
have that that void is so much more
accentuated it's so much more powerful
it's so much more painful they can just
ignore it they're too sensitive
what others don't feel so deeply
penetrates them to their deepest core
what others could just ignore they can't
they just can't live with it and the
anxiety become so overwhelming they have
to take extreme measures in order to
give themselves just a few minutes of
calmness a few minutes of tranquility
it's because of the depth of their
spirituality that for them to fill the
void takes much much more because the
void is so much more acute the void is
much more powerful and I think what he
was really saying and I think this is
really true is and I hope this comes out
nicely but won't come out that nicely
but I hope it comes out fine is we look
at certain people those are the addicts
they need a home we're all addicts we're
all addicts who sitting in this room
doesn't have a void who within us who
who doesn't suffer from some type of
anxiety who is not dealing with stress
who is not dealing with something
disturbing in your life I can't say all
of us but but many of us and even those
who are successful and live productive
lives
there are profound voids that we have
and we try to escape them and one of the
greatest voids one of the greatest voids
is what the Baal Shem Tov and his
students would call the void that's
created as a result of self
consciousness which was born right after
other men hava ate from the tree of
knowledge what does it mean a tree of
knowledge what did they get to know they
got to become self conscious before they
ate from the tree
they were very conscious but they would
divine conscious meaning they saw
themselves as part of infinity that's
why they can walk around naked and not
feel weird because if you're a
manifestation of Hashem in this world
what's the problem with walking around
without clothes I'm not embarrassed by
my pinky why should I be embarrassed
with any other part of my body on my arm
I put on tefillin why should I be
embarrassed with my arm when I'm wearing
it to fill it why should I be
embarrassed with any other part of my
body if it's just a manifestation of
godliness in this world what happened
when they ate from the tree of das is
they became self-aware they became
self-conscious so what's the first
question Hashem asks other men hava i
eka where are you why didn't they have
this question before because somehow no
animal has this question no tree wakes
up in the morning all the trees go to
sleep now they're not like us we have
night life tree fir trees follow God's
rhythm of nature the birds are sleeping
everybody is sloughing now nobody wakes
up in the morning and like Who am I why
am I to piddle or not to piddle that is
the question why am I not a cat why am I
not a frog they're just part of the
symphony of creation humanities from the
moment of the 8th saw das became
self-conscious
I'm always looking where I fit in do I
fit in I come to a wedding I come to a
Bar Mitzvah can I just melt away
smoothly and easily and be part of the
experience
I come into a class can I just sit there
and not even feel myself I teach for
many many years one of the things that
drives me crazy is that when somebody
walks in everybody turns around I could
be saying the most mesmerizing story but
everybody turns around you want to come
in and you will see everybody turns
around it's like I become self-conscious
the poor person who walks in I just
become self-conscious but the only seat
is in the front so now he has to walk to
the front and he's sitting here for the
rest of the hour and I'm looking at him
the guy can't even hear a word I'm
saying because he's thinking about where
he or she fits in into life this feeling
of self-consciousness accompanies us
everywhere who am i what am i what am i
feeling what am I not feeling do you
like me don't you like me am i angry am
I not angry am i secure I'm and I
insecure whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa before they say das the I was just
part of the divine ah he was all good
but now I'm trying to invest in an ego
that doesn't really exist cause ego
means easing God out and I'm trying to
find a place for something that doesn't
exist so God says uh eka and at that
moment man went into therapy for the
last five thousand years and we're still
trying to experience some type of
recovery we're still trying to heal the
light of mushiya the light of gula
that's filling the world now is the
light of recovery
what's recovery what's the problem with
addiction the problem was addiction is
it distracts me from my self
consciousness but it doesn't help me go
above my self consciousness it just
distracts me that's for a few moments I
shouldn't feel the pain by literally
numbing numbing it what's the real
recovery the real recovery is when I
reach a space where I transcend my
self-consciousness by really discovering
that that self is just a channel for
infinity in the
world and people who are more sensitive
to this truth feel this void of
self-consciousness more than everybody
else they can't ignore it the iPhone
doesn't work for them for all of us we
go in an elevator instead of looking at
people and saying hi how are you you
right away take out your phone right
whenever you're distracted for a moment
you're feeling anxiety we have
immediately something to ease the
anxiety but people who are more
sensitive and people who are more
refused and people who are more acute
with the void that exists in the entire
cosmos since the eight sadhus they just
need so much more especially if they
experienced abuse and dysfunction
especially if they experienced trauma
especially of the messages they heard in
their youth really play with their soul
and their heart and now there's two
different worlds that come together in
them a world of idealism and a world of
corruption and they mama don't know how
to find themselves so they take drastic
measures to just numb that pain for a
few moments and the only way we as a
community can confront Isis is if we can
acknowledge that what they're
experiencing is just an exaggeration of
what all of us are experiencing and then
I can tune into this person I can be
there with this person and for that
person
this alcoholic he wanted the Baal Shem
Tov's darvany in fact he was feeding off
the Baal Shem Tov's governing he was
feeding all of that infinite Questor
from the Baal Shem Tov is what was
really igniting him just he didn't know
how to davon he didn't know how to
connect to infinity the Baal Shem Tov
knew had a melt away in infinity and
daven that's why the Baal Shem Tov came
to the world to teach us how to heal
from the ate sawdust to be able to look
at God and say iyyaka where are you I'm
right here with you that's where I am
instead other marushin started to give a
whole pill pole that I ate then I went
in hiding and I'm hiding and everybody
is hiding but this never this shikre
didn't know how to do that so he takes
the search of the Baal Shem Tov and what
does he do with it he goes to the bar he
goes to drink which really means that
addiction is the solution and the
problem is much much much deeper which
also is telling us something very
powerful and that is we have to speak
about recovery we have to speak about
centers of recovery but we have to speak
about something else and that is
preventive medicine what are the most
powerful things you can do in your home
in your family in your community that
will help people not end up in this
abyss for starters for starters once
people are struggling with it we have to
create conversation about it somebody
mentioned before the distillers around
this are very very profound to the point
that so many people are afraid to open
up they're afraid to get help and if
they often will speak to somebody people
are uneducated will judge them and
sometimes cast them further into the
abyss some people live in hiding for
decades I get emails on a daily basis
people who are prominent people in their
communities but they suffer terribly on
the outside they're functional they're
prominent there distinct they're
distinctly distinguished people on the
inside they're rotting away
they don't have who to talk to and I see
how scared they are they're sending me
an email I don't even know who they are
but they'll never sign they're some of
them do some many of them don't sign
their name they can't even trust a
person in the email sometimes it takes
correspondence of six months until the
guy says by the way the email address is
fake I just made this address for you
and the signature is fake and let me
tell you who you are
and what pains me is Wow if this person
is afraid of sending it's from his email
how much shame how much shame engulfs
such a person two stigmas are so
powerful when we can't talk about things
in a real way in an authentic way how
many people just end up in the pit of
depression with nobody to address their
true angst their true problems
what about preventive medicine I want to
say three things that I think are very
very important and people often ignore
them number one don't wait till your
children are teenagers and are exposed
to these types of influences you need to
create an environment in your home of
profound emotional bonding profound
emotional bonding there's nothing more
important today for Jewish fathers and
mothers than to bond emotionally with
their children at the youngest age
whatever that means whether it's going
for pizza or it's sitting on the floor
playing Monopoly or playing risk or
playing chess throwing frisbees are
going swimming going hiking or reading a
book
Lulla have the learning together for
bringing together
schmoozing together going for ice cream
together listening being attentive but
fathers need to be emotionally connected
to their children at the youngest of age
there should be conversation there
should be an expression of emotion
family dinners must happen people have
to come home and get rid of their phones
and sit around the table with their
children even if fifteen minutes talk
listen
share experiences all statistics and
research has shown that children who
grow up in such a home with such bonding
in such an environment
the likelihood for them to fall prey to
horrible horrible influences which can
destroy them emotionally physically and
mentally and get them into addiction the
likelihood of that is diminished by
serious serious percentages these are
critical critical messages today don't
wait till he's 16
don't wait till she's 17 at the youngest
of age you spend time this is the most
important important thing to create an
atmosphere of bonding that is very deep
you should have a relationship with them
because children who have
that protection are protected in the
real world I said on Shabbos that when
there was somebody who was found dead in
the field the members the sages of the
Sanhedrin and the sages of that city
would come and they would bring a
special offering known as the egg la
Ruffa and the sages the elders would say
your de NOLA chef who has Adam Haase our
hands did not spill this blood we're not
responsible for the murder sera she says
did anybody think that the chief rabbi
murdered this person he's saying I
didn't do it we didn't do it so rashly
says it doesn't mean everybody knows
they didn't murder him they said we
didn't allow him to leave this city
without feeding him we didn't allow him
to leave this city without giving him a
drink we didn't allow him to leave our
homes without escorting him the question
is how would that help let's say you did
let's see it didn't the guy was killed
outside in the wilderness so if I
escorted him I'm not responsible if I
didn't escort him I am responsible what
does it have to do some murderer found
his poor Jew and killed him how is
escorting him out of my home going to
contribute to this one way or another
way it's a good thing to escort somebody
but that's not the determining factor of
the death and if I did escort him I'm
innocent than if I didn't I'm guilty and
the answer is and it's a very profound
answer think about it psychologically
and emotionally with abuse abusers and I
know there are people sitting in this
room when all this very well abusers
don't abuse any kid they make sure to
find the right child
if this Jew came to my house and I gave
him to eat and I gave him to drink and I
escorted him and I gave him his dignity
that abuser may look the other way and
say you know what this kid I'm not
starting up with that murderer
identifies he knows somebody who's gonna
fight back he knows somebody who has
dignity he knows somebody who has faults
he knows somebody who will speak up he
knows somebody who will not go down easy
and the murderer says you know what
let's go to somebody else those bullies
those abusers identify the
victim very very well when I fortify my
child and I give him these resources
even when he comes across that
psychological murderer I'm not talking a
murderer physically hospital don't a
murderer emotionally or spiritually
ecologically when he is fortified it's a
different story how do children get
fortified we have to fortify them you
got to give them that dignity that Stolz
that emotional connection that feeling
that you're loved that your value is
non-negotiable that you're loved
unconditional that your preciousness in
the eyes of God is infinite and even if
you make mistakes there is nothing that
can destroy that preciousness which is I
once heard from the lubavitcher rebbe
why is the last shear that Jakov gave
Yosef what was it about egg la Ruffa and
that's how Yosef proved the Yaakov that
he's alive why was that the last year
six hundred and thirty minutes Yaakov
couldn't shoe something else besides egg
la Ruffa so you'll say well Yaakov
didn't know but the harsh go canoe
the answer is Yaakov was giving yes of
this message unconsciously Yosef you're
gonna go to dark places but you have
been fortified you have been fortified
that's what it means that when he saw
played T for his wife and she wanted him
to violate her and be with her what did
he see in the window you remember the
image of Yaakov what image did he see
well there was a poster what CNN in
Egypt was interviewing Yaakov Aveeno we
did he see an image of Yaakov in the
window he saw the image of Yaakov he had
a father he had a father who fortified
him he could look at her and say no I
will not fall prey to this abyss I will
not be part of this when the ice have
told you a cliff
I remember the shear of egg la Ruffa but
the heroic of avium Yaakov came to life
it's all he had to hear to know that 22
years later his son Yosef
was aligned that's all yet there he
didn't have to do rushes to pull him
messages whatsapp's
no all yet the air his father
I remember the shear of egg la Ruffa
that's it
but the Peru a vehicle if that's what
the person says my Yaris I'll go boys he
saw the egg la Ruffa but the theory of
Yakima VM
came to life that's our duty today
that's our obligation today with our
students with our friends with our
nephews with our nieces with our cousins
with our communities with our disciples
and of course with our siblings and
certainly with our beloved children and
with our beloved grandchildren it's
number one number two as your children
are growing up you got to be present you
mama SH have to be present it's very
nice to be liberal and say my children
are responsible they can have this they
can have that you have to be present and
an appropriate and sensitive way at the
right age you have to speak to every one
of your children about the challenges
that they may encounter inside
themselves and outside of themselves in
the right time the right person in the
right way appropriate to this child
because we live in a dangerous world and
even if you live in a ghetto in muncie
and the school gets a signature from
every parent that nobody has an iphone
because you have two phones according to
the minute and everything looks
perfectly safe I promise you that
there's one kid in that class who knows
more than me about this and I'm not that
naive how do I know this I know this for
my own children and all this for many
other children who come to me at the age
of 21 I said when do you find out about
all of this 5th grade really 5th grade
of course for who
oh boy in the class and this is in the
best communities most holy sacred
religious communities in Muncie Borough
Park Lakewood Williamsburg mayor are in
Bnei Brak beautiful holy communities you
got to be connected to your kids speak
to them listen to them see what's going
on don't let them cruise through the
waters of life independently not just
enough to fortify them and say you go
you be present speak communicate but the
only way you could speak to your
children is if they feel connected to
you don't sever those cords not in
younger ages and not on all their ages
and then finally the third component is
parents need to be emotionally healthy
when your marriage is in the dumps and
when your dysfunctional yourself your
children will pick up on it consciously
or subconsciously and they will act out
based on that I cannot make my kids
happy I could make myself happy I cannot
protect my children from everything but
I can create a home that is filled with
love and trust and camaraderie when
fathers and mothers are killing each
other
hollering at each other insulting each
other denigrating each other even if
it's a cold war like Russia and America
and the good doesn't I want to say the
good old days
but like Russian American the old days
maybe soon if there's a cold war in the
house if Tati is this way and mommy is
this way and the kids know how to
manipulate and exploit the differences
between them the environment is not
holistic we must work on ourselves don't
educate your children educate yourself
and then by osmosis you can transfer
that to their to your children this is
critical which comes with one final
point and that is don't be afraid of
disciplining your children in a loving
way what happened was these two streams
of fourth and they're both destructive
some of us grew up in environments and
schools where we were beaten me
personally I was not but a lot of you
grew up in places where you were asked
there was one biog noses for all kids
there was an ad DPD da da she was one
that's called for asked here for asking
there it healed some of them it
destroyed some of them there was even
this beautiful minute of having your
fingers remember together with a stick
on the fingers because you weren't
pointing some of you are still
traumatized from it so what do you
decide you decided with your kids you're
gonna go to the other extreme and what
type of home is it everything is yes yes
yes yes yes
I'm not judging you but you're not
helping your kids because just ask kids
who grew up in a boot camp
that's oppressive are not safe kids who
grew up in a home of permissiveness are
also not safe they don't feel that there
are boundaries imagine I take my kids I
put them on the roof of a building and I
say play football until you knock
yourselves out I want Akal football only
one problem at 60 stories high and
there's no fence how much fun will that
football game be oh I'm sorry I'm not a
parent who creates boundaries I grew up
in a school with everybody was
oppressing us in my philosophy let
freedom ring you're not doing your kids
a favor they're gonna be frightened of
taking one extra step in this football
game
never mind reaching the end zone because
Khalil Vikas they're looking down what's
happening on the other side of the roof
if you build a fence um it could run you
could kill yourself I don't mean kill
yourself you could run and have a great
time and knock yourself out why because
there are fences good homes have good
what do they say good fences good
neighbors make but I'm saying good
fences good homes make discipline
doesn't mean anger discipline doesn't
mean impulsiveness discipline doesn't
mean trauma discipline doesn't mean
abuse discipline means that your kids
know there are expert
tations your kids know that there are
values that you teach in this home your
kids know that this home operates on a
certain level of consciousness and your
kids know that they're not gonna get
away with anything else I'm not talking
about unique exceptions of children who
are struggling with something unique and
you have to address it I'm talking on a
general level don't be afraid of
creating that environment not with anger
not with impulsiveness not because
you're crazy and very intense and come
home in a bad mood but coming out of
caring attentiveness thoughtfulness and
profound and profound love it's not just
enough to address addiction after it
happens our main responsibility is to
create families and communities schools
and homes where there's an environment
that nurtures people in a way that they
don't have to run through addiction when
they're 14 years old when they're 15
years old 16 years old and even if a
school is imperfect and there are still
a few schools that are imperfect there
are still a few homes that are imperfect
we have to work very very hard to tune
in to those needs of every single child
and identify those weak points or that
this child when he or she grows up can
be fortified on every level not the
Halil of a class feel any need to go to
addiction I had a conversation the other
day with two two young children young a
little older than my Mitzvah in my
community whose families I know very
very well and they had some questions
about certain issues with their bodies
changing and I spoke to both of them
separately and when they finished asking
their questions I asked the first one if
he's experiencing certain cravings in
his body right now
and he said they're not much not really
okay I said if this and this comes up
you can always talk to somebody and this
is how you should deal with it then I
spoke to the other child another family
and the moment I asked him he said of
course I experienced in cravings to this
I said do you have friends who are
addicted to this in this type of
material he said oh yeah oh yes I said
are you involved in it he said no I said
why you don't want to be says no I want
to be I want to be but I chose not to I
said Wow somebody gave you powerful
information you're not judging yourself
you're not criticizing yourself you're
aware of different experiences that
you're having and you're fortified
enough to make productive choices how
many children don't begin to have any
direction and any guidance in anything
I'm talking about everything is done
clandestinely behind closed doors
conjuring up ideas in their own brain
based on YouTube or based on friends and
fathers mothers mentors healthy teachers
are completely in the dark until years
later when things spiral out of control
it's easy to shove this under the rug
don't because when you protect the roots
of the tree the seeds before it blossoms
into the tree that will translate into
all the Leafs and all the fruits when
it's still under the ground when it's
still beginning beginning to blossom but
finally there are all those souls who
for whatever reason and ultimately every
neshama has its journey have fallen prey
to the disease of addiction and they
don't even know there's a way out
there's mum wish they don't even know
there's a way out so the awareness of
such a home like a ZZZ home in artists
role is so critical and so valuable but
I also want to say something else in
conclude
with this because my time is up and that
is we all meet people all day we're all
meeting people we meet people face to
face and unfortunately we meet many more
people through this not face to face I
say unfortunately because face to face
is a much better meaning but we meet a
lot of people through these toys and
chats cos we also meet people face to
face you'll never know how people are
struggling they say the definition of a
nudnik is you ask him how you're doing
and he actually tells you we have an
unwritten rule that when somebody asks
you how you're doing you don't give a
real answer right well smarter what's
marks the ankle washer everything good
yeah everything wonderful absolutely yes
but try this experiment next time
somebody says what's going on okay my
mortgage I haven't paid already in two
months I'm struggling with a kid going
into school and by the way the cleaners
just ruined both of my suits my best
suits talking about this there's a leak
in my bathroom my cleaning lady did not
show up
my wife is mom is a wreck I also lost my
job yesterday and my car is in the
mechanic besides the fact the principal
called me that my kid can't come by
their school at some point the guy is
gonna say why do you think I'm
interested we meet people all the time
we never know what's going on in
people's hearts and people's minds don't
be stingy with warmth don't be stingy
with love in this show you could find
two 300 teenagers a day sometimes a
hundred sometimes fifty 24 hours a day
some of them show up but 1:00 in the
morning
some of them show up at 5:00 in the
morning some of them show up before
color cuts is a middle color cut size
for the vegetable soup for the cholent
on Wednesday for the truant on Sunday
for the bagels that come out Monday for
the steak that appears on Tuesday for
the sushi that come either than others
hang around more for the sushi that
comes out Thursday morning for the
sponge cake and sprinkle cake that come
here Friday afternoon 24 hours I say to
you not everyone of us can build a home
of recovery like these great souls who
have a home for free and feed them and
nurture them and get them therapy and
get them a job and give them a little
normalcy and help them discover their
neshama their helical account model and
dignity but I'll tell you what you and I
can do there's 300 teenagers here a day
10 of them say good morning give them a
hug if you're uncomfortable with a hug
look them in the eyes and say can I be
here for you in any way you have a
beautiful face your face is shining a
good word a vadoma Vaart lift them up
embrace them I'm talking to the men I'm
also talking to the women everyone has
influence don't be stingy with love
don't be stingy with warmth don't be
stingy with bonding it doesn't cost any
money don't be stingy with giving people
words of encouragement of hope of
inspiration you know today what people
have do you have to walk around with
seeds and just throw that you know when
there's a snow and you walk around with
salt and you just throw this salt
everywhere everyone today has to have a
bag with hundreds of seeds of love just
throw them around you know why because a
few trees are gonna grow a few trees are
gonna grow I hear from people sometimes
you know you said this you told me this
you came in you said over 20 years later
he got his life together because of
something I said to him I even forgot
that I said it be genuine don't be
stingy build people up be ambassadors of
love of light of hope of healing of
recovery we are ambassadors in this
world that's what we are we are here to
be ambassadors ambassadors of what
ambassadors of the infinite power of
each and every individual to live a life
of deep and profound oneness with
infinity oneness with Hashem to live a
life of googler consciousness to live a
life of redemption and
to congratulate the leaders of this a-z
home and all of its supporters and all
of its staff and all of those who assist
in and will assist it in the future that
you should be able to maximize your
potential I know now your capacity is
only 419 I wish you wouldn't have to
have more but unfortunately you still
need capacity for much more to be able
to grow such homes in such environments
where our young boys and girls can find
can find hope can find meaning Kazak
Kazakh Venise Kazakh thank you very much
thank you
[Applause]