Want Your Wife Back? Watch This.

If you want your relationship with your spouse to grow, you got to give him or her attention. If you want the tension in your relationship to grow, you got to give him or her attention. Attention could either enhance your marriage or it could create more distance in your marriage. And it depends on what version of your spouse you're giving attention to, what version of yourself you're giving attention to, what version of your relationship you're giving attention to, because the rule in life is whatever we give attention to is going to grow. Now, I would never, god forbid, recommend ignoring issues, pretending they're not there. But that doesn't mean they deserve our full attention. Because putting our attention on things that that are not desirable are going to make them more present when you want them to be less present. This is signified in one word inas and that is das. Das means knowledge but das really means attention. A child doesn't have theic obligation to do mitzvah because a child lacks das. That's what the Talmet says. A child lacks attention. A child lacks the ability to put the proper attention to things that are most important. Das means attention. Das also means connection. When Adam and Eve were first intimate with one another, the Torah says is Adam knew Eve. The word yada Adam gave attention to Eve. But what's being described here is intimacy. Because when you give attention to something, you become intimately familiar with it. So what version of your spouse do you want to be more familiar with? the version of your spouse that triggers you or the v version of your spouse that you had originally married. What version of you do you want your spouse to be more intimately aware of and connected with? The version of you whom she or he is fed up with or the version of you whom she's proud or he is proud of? Because what we put attention to is what we're going to feel more connected to. And the choice is or is what do we want to feel connected with? The word das has a third meaning. The alba writes in [snorts] that the word das not only means knowledge or attention. It not only means connection or intimacy. It also means desire. Because what you put your attention on is what you're going to desire. God references the Jewish people in the book of Amos. He says, "It is only you that I know among all the families of the earth." And the son translates as desire. Not only do I know you, I desire you. The alter explains that through knowledge, through attention, we desire. If we want there to be more desire, more connection, more intimacy, we have to choose wisely to what we focus our attention.