Want to be Happy? - Rabbi Gavriel Friedman

[Music] Let's get cracking, people. I would like you to I want to do an exercise. I want to do this together. Um I don't usually do it like this, but you wouldn't have known that, so I shouldn't have told you, but I did. And I would like to do the following. I want you all to think of a time in your life. Think of a time in your life when you were happy. Do you think of a time in your life when you were happy? And I'm like, don't tell me what it is. Just think about it. Think about a time in your life when you were happy. Anyone else have a time in your life when you were happy? Think of a time in your life. I want to guide you a little bit. And I want you not to confuse something which maybe is not confusion. We'll we'll take a look soon when we get into some some sort of definitions. But pleasure and happiness don't necessarily come together. Does that make sense what I just said? You could have pleasure without being happy. You get that? That's just a guiding and we're going to go on. Now, we've come up with a couple of examples. Now, I want to get a bit deeper. And I'd like a definition. We say things all the time. We throw things out all the time, right? When we're having conversations with people, we'll say sentences that we don't really mean when we say them. For example, someone goes and gives you something. You go, "Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I love you." They're like, "I didn't know you felt that way about me." Right? No, it doesn't mean I love you. It means thank you. Right? So when we say love, what does love mean? Right? When we say happiness, what does happiness mean? Can anyone give me a definition of happiness? And remember, you cannot use the word in the definition. You see, it's it's just I find it interesting that not everybody here is nailing it. In other words, like bam, I go ask give me the definition of happiness. It should be. Now, truth is, you could turn this on me in anything that I'm going to say, right? No matter what word I say, what does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? Right? You can do that to me also. But it's interesting that a word which we use so often I just want to be happy. Right? I just want happiness in my life. I was so happy when you make me happy. Happiness is just an illusion filled with sadness and confusion. Yeah. But we have all these but we don't know what it is. We're not able to nail it down. Isn't that do do you agree with me? You find that interesting. A word which we use all the time but we have no idea how to define it. I say no idea. I don't mean no idea. We have uh some of us have no idea. Others have an idea of some sorts. Understand? Does anyone here want to be happy? It's what the opposite. Anyone not want to be happy? Great. Everyone wants to be happy. How do you plan on doing it if you don't know the definition? So, every one of us wants to be happy. It's it's a reality that everything we're doing in our life, we're really ultimately trying to be we want that, right? That's like the goal. One of the classic discussions that they have here in Asia Torah, by the way, welcome. This is Asa. One of the classic discussions they have here is like, do you want to be happy or do you want to be rich? Right? And everyone both, right? Okay. Yeah. Do you want to be happy? You want to be rich? We all know that money buys happiness. Right? Everyone's clear in that is what money buys happiness. Not exactly. Who really says no though? Those who don't have it. No, but the truth is the reality is money doesn't buy happiness. I think we can know that. But I love when people say, "But I know someone who's rich and he's happy. What are you going to say now folk?" And I say back, "Okay, he might be happy, but it's not because of the money. He's happy for other reasons." You ask the person who's rich, why are you happy? As a matter of fact, most people that become rich are quite unhappy. But the truth is that's not fair because that's done only by lottery winners. You understand? People who get sudden, you know, increases of money then they go and we know the classic stories. There was a guy who won the Powerball. It used to be a lot of money. 350 million, right? Now it's up to like the power was like 600 million or something like that, right? So you guys know what the Powerball is. Okay. So no, it was about a month ago. 600 650. Two people won. Yeah. Whatever. So the idea is it wasn't me. I I couldn't understand why though. I like I thought I was going to have it, but I just I didn't buy a ticket. But anyway, the idea is that uh when I won, I mean, when I didn't win, um I was on the phone with my father. I was like, "I can't believe it." He's like, "What?" I'm like, "Those are the those numbers were exactly the numbers that I always play. Those numbers I won." He's like, "You serious?" I'm like, "I've never played in my life, right? But if I were to play, that's what I would play." So, idea is what idea I'm trying to say is that people win the lottery and they they go ahead. This one guy, I can't I wish I had his name. I'm sure you you've maybe seen this documentary about this guy. He he won $350 million. And let's fast forward to the end. The end of the story, I mean, or the part of the story that it was not he's still alive, I think, but one of his granddaughters committed suicide. Uh he ended up totally in debt. He had no friends, ended up getting divorced, losing everything. So, he says he said that he wishes when he won that he would have ripped the ticket up and thrown in the garbage. When a person goes ahead and gets so much money, we don't even know what to do with it. We don't know what to do. Everyone always says if I win I would do this you know I would put in in a in an offshore account that no one knows even though the American government knows everything now. Uh and then I would go ahead and I would uh put in investments and I would go do very smart things because everyone else didn't say that right everybody says that but we get caught up right and what happens eventually they go and they end up losing everything. Clearly that's not the thing which is going to buy buy a person happiness. Now when you said not sadness that's where I want to now show you the following idea. When a person goes ahead and they win the lottery, what happens at that moment? Their sadness is no longer there, so to speak, right? They have this, you know, this this unbelievable, we'll call it happiness. But the reality is they're not happy. They're just not sad. You understand what I'm saying? There's something called status quo. Just I am. There's someone who's happy, there's someone who's sad, and there's someone who's lack of sad, which is just not sad, but that doesn't mean you're happy. Just because you take away something sad doesn't mean necessarily that you're happy. But let's let's take it a little bit a little bit further now. What's a definition? How does a person get happiness? We all want it. Everybody wants in your life. Think about a time in your life when you were truly happy and try to see the common denominator of why were you happy at that moment. And when then you could understand why that was. Take that as a definition and now you can apply it anywhere in your life. You get that? When a person goes ahead and figures out what the root of something is, they can now apply it anywhere. And furthermore, how can a person live a life of happiness with so much pain and suffering going on in the world? How could how could you even be so selfish to even think of being ever happy? Do you understand what I mean when I say that? You look around the world and you're like, "No, everything's good. I'm cool. I'm fine. Turn on the TV. 40 people died in Sudan today." You're like, "Okay, shut up. Let's go eat lunch." Right? How could how could you do that? How could you live in a world which is so not happy? Right? So, I want to share with you just an insight which I think is unbelievable. There was a woman who was a Holocaust survivor and she was uh one day she's walking, someone comes over and says, "You know, you don't you really you don't look happy." So she goes, "Why would you say that?" He goes, "Because you're not smiling." She goes, "What does smiling have to do with happiness?" And I first thought that's like that's a little weird. What are you talking about? Right? Because we know it's an emotional response of the body. When you go serotonin goes, leaves the brain, comes out, what happens that you smile, right? What do you what are you asking me? What does that have to do with it? Has very much to do with the answer is not necessarily though. A person can be unbelievably happy and not smiling at all. You got have people that are smiling away, you know, the people like walk in there, everything's How are you always so happy? Answer is, I'm putting on a show because I have no life and they're really unbelievably depressed inside. Anyone know someone like that? People that smile, they put on this front as if everything's okay and they'll go like that. Oh, everything's all right. No woman will cry. Everything's good. Everything's gonna Right. The answer is no. Not everything is all right. Everything is really not all right. And people who put on that show, one day they crumble. one day, one day they crumble. And all my life they've been waiting for it. They've been praying for it. But what happens is they crumble. I mean, it's a sad thing. So, if we don't get down to clarity of what happiness is, and people now, we're young. We're young. We're young. Which means we have the opportunity now to nail that sucker. Not get caught up in life in something which we're not happy with. Not get involved in a job or in a relationship or in a job or a relationship. Anyone here has started a job yet? Anyone started? 1 2 3 4 5 Once I caught a fish alive. 6 7 8 9 10. Then I let him go again. Why did you let him go? And he is what? You started a job. Anyone here in a relationship? Don't answer. You started a job. You're in a relationship. Is it good? Is it good? Is it Is it good? Are you Are you happy? Are you happy with that job in that relationship? Well, it could be that right now you're enjoying it. That doesn't mean you're happy with it. You better get this clear. You better get this clear quick. Just because somebody is smiling doesn't mean it's good. You want to take a look. By the way, I'll just give you an idea of an outside. How sometimes an outside is total fake. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna ruffle some of your feathers here. That's my goal. My goal is to upset you. If anyone here is in a relationship or you know someone in a relationship, those people who walk around doing what we call PDA. You familiar with PDA? Public displays of affection. Holding hands, hugging. I'm only saying this now. I'm saying this cautiously because I see no one is doing it now. Sometimes I have in the group like people are like all over each other. Right. What's up, man? Right. They all pleasure. Right. They all love each other. And that's why I wouldn't do it right now. Yeah. You guys know each other. We've known each other for so long. Go like this. Yeah. That those who are giving public displays of affection, check it yourself. Look at statistics yourself in your own life. I don't mean like numbers on the board. I mean your own people that you have noticed. Generally speaking, those people go down. They go down hard. Those relationships end very quickly. You can tell you can tell a strength of a relationship by how affectionate they are in public. The more one is affectionate in public, the less their relationship is because they have to show everyone else and they need everyone else to see that look, we have a relationship. Those who have a strong fortified relationship, I don't need to show I'm not saying you can't hold hands in public. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying but like all over each other, right? You don't need to do that. You don't need to show the world. If you feel like you need to show the world, that means that there's something you're lacking. You get it? So sometimes it's the outside that you think that everything's okay. They're smiling, therefore they're happy, right? Not necessarily. As a matter of fact, it might be quite uncontra which means just the opposite. Okay, so let's take it a step further than them. What is happiness? I'm going to give you a definition which I think is an incredible idea. It goes through it's so intuit you're going to see when what I'm going to say it's going to be clear and Steve, it's very similar to what you said possibly. It might be even the same thing. It goes like this. Happiness is the feeling that one gets when they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. Happiness is a feeling that one gets when they are doing what they're supposed to be doing. If you are right, if you're one and unified like you mentioned. Yeah. I don't know what you meant by that, but if you meant this, right, good. And even if you didn't, then great. Yeah. You know, it always works out. You know, the teacher's like, "Did you mean this?" You're like, "Yes." They're like, "Well, you're wrong." And I know that's good. That's good. Exactly. Right. He what happiness is a feeling when you're doing Now, now let's go back. Um, don't tell me, Mitch. Right. So, Mitch, you said Disneyland. And then when I asked you, does it fit his definition? Then you said, I don't know. I was six. The answer is it perfectly fit the definition. You know why? Because at six years old, that's what every six-year-old thinks you're supposed to do. You're supposed to go to Disneyland, right? M I C K E Y M O U. Right. That's what you're supposed to do. My my uh my wife when she was young, they went my my wife's family went to Disneyland and my brother-in-law at the time was about 3 years old and they rented out this little place at Disneyland, this little I don't know, I don't think it was a hotel, like a little condo, whatever they have around the area. And my mother-in-law notices there's a mouse. There's a mouse in the room. So my mother-in-law goes to my father-in-law and says, "Um, I saw a uh" He's like, "What?" and all the kids. He's like, "An m o u s e." And my three-year-old brother-in-law goes, "A mouse." Right? He's like, "How did you know how to spell? You're in Disneyland, right? M I C K E Y M O U S E." That's how you hear all day. You know, so of course he knew. You didn't know how to spell. He's like, "A mouse, right?" And says, "What do we have, though?" At six years old, that's it. That's what life is about. It's about going to Disneyland. You get it? When you go and you finish your project, when you finish that project, you're supposed to be finishing that project. Happiness. I'm going to give you another you. When you climb that mountain, when you climb the Alps, Michael, when you go and you climb the Alps, you know what you did over there? You are accomplished. You accomplished something. But it's more than just accomplishment. Accomplishment is not enough. It's meaningful accomplishment. Because if it's accomplishment, I can make a puzzle. I can make a four-piece puzzle. I feel so happy. I say, "It's a four-piece puzzle. What's a big deal, right? Because it's not meaningful. What happens if I build like one of those 3D puzzles with like 12,000 pieces? You guys know what I'm talking about? My mother was very into those all those puzzles, right? These unbelievable puzzles. After you finish, don't you feel amazing? Because you accomplished and you have given meaning to that project. Since you gave meaning to that project, therefore, you feel incredibly happy. When you finished high school, you were happy to get out of there, right? But you also felt happy because it was again a meaningful accomplishment. you were doing what you were supposed to be doing. It doesn't mean smiling people. I'll give you an example that I saw from my tats. An amazing example. All right. Now, let's say you're living out. You've never seen a gym before in your life. A gym where people work out. Yeah. So, you go ahead and you go to, you know, the big city of of Cleveland and you go in there or Cincinnati, whatever. Where you from? Youngstown. You go to Youngstown, right? To visit people there. And you see this sign that says Gim. You're like, cool. Let me check it out. So you walk, you know, you see this gim, otherwise known as a gym, by the way. All right, James. And you see like the windows are like frosty. You know what I mean? That you can't see inside. You want to see what it is. So you like look through the keyhole. It's like I don't know why people have the oldfashioned. It's just open, but you know, you look through. Yeah. And you can't see because it's really tight, but you go you look through and you see there's a guy lying in a bench. He's lying in a bench and there's a pole on his neck. This metal pole in his neck. And you're like, "Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. This this guy's being tortured. You're like, "Forget this. Everybody wants kung fu fighting." You kick that thing open, but it doesn't work because it's really It's locked. Yeah. But then, you know, you turn it up. You open it. You walk in and there's the guy. He's lying on the bench. Like, you're like, "Oh my gosh, someone left him here with a metal thing on his neck with these two massive metal pieces on the side. This guy's going to die." So, you walk over and you're like, "Dude, I'm here." And you start lifting it up and the guy starts pulling it down. He's like, "What are you doing?" You're like, "Don't worry." Like, "What are you doing?" You'll thank me later, right? The guy goes and you finally you you struggle out and you put it up on that thing. Yeah. You know what's going on here, James? Right. Okay, good. And then the guy's like, "What are you doing?" You're like, "I saved your life." Like, "What do you mean saved my life?" He's like, "What do you mean, man? I saved your life." He's I paid for this. He go, "You pay for this, dude? What are you into?" Right? That's messed up. Yeah. So, he goes, "Yeah, what do you mean I paid for this?" He goes, "Why would you pay for this?" He goes, "I don't know what he's talking about." Now, what was happening? The guy was working out, right? But you look at the guy's face, he's sweating. He's got this look of like on his face, like this intent like pain on his face, right? He must not be happy. But anyone here has ever worked out before, not for health. I mean, you've worked out for idolatry because you want to look good. If anyone's ever worked out because you want to look good, was that too heavy? If anyone's ever worked out because they want to look good, the pain is the plus. Is that right? The pain is the pleasure. When you're climbing that mountain, every step you takeing ding ding ding every move you, every time you're walking up that mountain, you're like, it's even flat, you know, you're like, right, but then you get to the part which is that you can't do it because you need energy then flat right what happens? You feel great. You feel amazing, right? You feel amazing when you go and you do something with accomplishing, but it's a meaningful accomplishment. And when you give meaning to something, what happens? You feel unbelievably connected to that thing and you feel happy even if you're not smiling. Does that make sense? What's happiness? The feeling no one gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. However, there's a level below that. There's a level. There's two different types of happiness. Okay. How do you spell it? H A P P I N E S. Two S's or one? Two. Two. All right. Happiness. You better be right. All right. So, the idea is happiness. Happiness is the feeling that one gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. This is where things get a little bit crazy, people. So, if happiness is the feeling what it gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. Can't a person fool themselves into thinking they're doing what they're supposed to be doing? Right? Don't we do that all the time? Aren't there things that we do all the time that we think we're supposed to be doing? What would be the opposite opposite of happiness? Let's think it through. Think it through. What would be the opposite of happiness? The word I don't think is sadness. I think it's much deeper. Depression. Think about it. Have you ever invested in something and then you've come to the realization that it was a waste of time? Right? Like a relationship, right? You you you you give it to something, you you give to something, you give to something, and then you wake up and realize this is totally wrong. How do you feel at that moment? For the past like year of my life, two years, three years, I've been doing not only not happiness, but the opposite of it. That's when we fall into like a depression. And that's when we start to like stop and then things just build on themselves. More depression, more depression. Does everybody hear what's going on here? That's when I'll give you an example. So you go ahead, Josh. And you know, you you donate money. You hear about a camp. You get a little brochure, the WKJ Camp of America special. And you're like, "Wow, so nice." You know, I think I'll donate some money, you know, to the WKJ Camp of America. So you donate one year, the next year. So finally, you get like one of their pamphlets where they spell out WKJ stands for we kill Jews. How do you feel after a couple years of donating to this wonderful camp? Probably pretty terrible, right? Pretty terrible, right? When you've just gone and invested so much into not only bologoney, but might even be against you. You hear what's going on here, people? Happiness is a feeling that one gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. But there's a level below that which is actually the same level. It's just not ultimate. That's the feeling that one gets when they're doing what they think they should be doing. When you do what you think you should be doing, as long as you never find out reality, you'll be okay. You get that? For example, a kid goes in, he sells lemonade, sells lemonade on a corner for 10 cents a cup. After a full day, he walked away with a dollar. How does that kid feel? Feels amazing, right? Feels incredible. What happens when he learns the value of a dollar? He'll never be selling lemonade on a corner again, right? Unless it's Manhattan for $40 a cup. Yeah. See what happened over there is that he realized, wait a minute, everything I just put into is really not true. So people watch this. If it's true, what we're saying, and I think we could agree with this, is anyone disagree with our definition so far? I think it very much fits everyone's life. Anything you've ever been happy with are usually things that you felt meaningful accomplishment that you're supposed to be doing this thing. When your sister is born, well, you say that's not what I'm doing, but it's something which is in line with what's supposed to be done. You see there's a line in Hebrew which says there is no happiness like releasing doubt. Has anyone here ever had a state of doubt in your life? You don't know which way to go. You're just not sure. Do I go to this university or that one? Do I do I take this job or that? Do I hang out with this person or that one? Do I do this? Do I do that? Have you ever had it where it's like coming down to the wire that you have to make a decision and you just don't know what to do and you feel like so confused and you're just like ah you really it starts you feel it like it's you feel pressure you know what I'm talking about you feel that pressure then somebody comes over and you're like dude I got this problem I can't even I don't know what to do and the person speaks to you within a minute he gives you clarity he or she gives you clarity of which direction you should go on has anyone ever had that happen to them you have a doubt what to do in your life. Then somebody says something to you which gives you clarity. How do you feel at that moment? How do you feel? Happy. Incredibly happy. You feel, wow, why? All those doubts are away. I now know what I'm supposed to be doing. When you figure out what you're supposed to be doing, life is incredible. You get it? Okay. So, now here comes the question. Have you guys figured out what you're supposed to be doing? Have you stopped and thought it through enough? Have you worked it out? Or are you just doing what you think you should be doing? Have you challenged it? Have you worked it through? You understand what I'm asking now? Yeah. Now, I'm not actually challenging anyone out right here. I'm bringing it out as a thought. Take it or leave it. Yeah. Some of you can walk out saying, "Yeah, I did that. I'm good." Others might say, you know, I'm not really sure. You see, if I were to tell you, and everybody wants happiness. If I were to tell you there's a greater level of happiness than what you have right now, you would never be happy in your life doing what you're doing until you figure out what that thing is and then disprove it or go with it. You get it? If I tell you there's something greater than what you're doing with your life right now, I'm going to tell you right now, okay? I don't I don't know you, right? But you I know. I don't really know. Uh but I'm going to tell you there is something greater than what you're doing right now. I'm I'm This is just an exercise. I'm not really saying this. For some of you, I really am. There is something greater than what you have right now. There's something much greater than what you have right now. You could be having real happiness that will last forever. Now, you may say, "What do you mean? What's what's the problem?" As long as I live in my ignorant is bliss, right? Ignorance is bliss. As long as I don't know about it, then I'll be happy. The answer is, "Yeah, okay. You might be for a while. But if you ever wake up from that days, you're going to be unbelievably depressed." You get it? Person who lives in that state of ignorance is bliss. It's like a kid who goes to high school and he goes and you know he fools everyone because he like cuts school a lot. He cuts school a lot but the teachers don't know. Suckers. They don't know. I made it. I made it. And then it's time to get a job. And he can't get a job because he didn't learn anything his whole life. Who did he mess over now? You get it? Who'd you fool now? You fooled yourself, sucker. You messed yourself up. You hear what I just said? A person who goes, "You think you're fooling the world?" Yeah. It's like, you know, the religious kid who like sneaks in a ham sandwich. The rabbi didn't see. The rabbi didn't see. There was once this guy who, you know, he couldn't help himself. He had a craving to eat not kosher. A Jewish guy, religious, observant, orthodox, whatever word you don't have a psychological problem with. And what happens? He goes ahead. He goes into this, you know, restaurant. He's eating non-cosher. And the rabbi is walking by and he looks and he sees there's one of his congregants eating non-coosher. He's like so they they meet eyes and the guy he's like so the guy comes out he's like rabbi. He's like what were you doing? He's like did you see me? He's like yeah I saw you. He's like did you see me eating that non-coosher meat? He said yeah I saw did you see me drinking that non-coosher wine? He goes yeah I saw thank god I was under rabbitical supervision. answer is what what we say nonetheless is what we trick them, right? But what happens? What happens if the big if Judaism in Torah is true? What happens if it's true, Michael? And then after a person dies, they get upstairs like I fooled them. You're on a highway to hell. You understand what's going It's okay. There's a stairway to heaven. I'll show you where it is. You understand what's going on, people? Oh, we fooled everyone. Assuming you never wake up in this world, we have another world if there is one. But what happens if you do wake up in this world and we realize, oh my gosh, this is a waste of time. What happens if you start to realize that the project you worked on was just silly. It was just for nothing. Then all of a sudden, we sink into depression. Happiness is a feeling that one gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. Level below that is happiness is a feeling that one gets when they're doing what they think they should be doing. But you better get sure that what you think actually is true. Because if you start investing in something which isn't true, you start putting into it. Either make sure you don't wake up or start changing it. Does everybody get what's happening here? It's a very scary concept if you really think about it and it's it's early to talk about this. Sorry. But the idea is what to get our life on track to start thinking about it. I'm not I'm not suggesting anything right now yet. I haven't yet suggested anything. But I'm just pointing out right now whatever it is, break it down. Get it clear. Because when you do what you know is right, there is nothing better in life. When you're on track with what the way it's supposed to be and you understand it, even if it's difficult, challenging, and hard, you love it. You get that? Now, the question is, how is one supposed to figure out what they're supposed to do? So, how do you figure that out? Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, Friedman. Like cliffhangered. I'm going to be depressed the rest of my life. We're all out of time. Thank you so much. Okay. Yeah. No, I'm just kidding. I think No, I think that question was a little bit too theoretical. You know, what I mean by that is I'll explain. I have no problem with the theoretical question but there's there's theoretical and then there's the what if zone the what if zone is like when my father used to say what if your head was in your tas would you put on to fill in right and it's a good question right by the way if you would don't make a bra yeah yeah but the idea is what so what if you know there's certain ridiculous whatifs with all due respect I think that we've just shifted a little bit let's jump out a little and go to theoretical okay the theoretical question is what if in theory what theoretical you have something you're supposed to be Right. Let's say it's saving puppies from from ants. It's saving puppies from ants. Okay. So, you go ahead. And what you're supposed to be doing now ultimately in order to carry out a certain task, there are certain prerequisites to carry out that task, right? One of them is you need to be able to be alive. Yeah. The other is you have to be able to breathe. What if it has to be in outer space where there's no oxygen? Right. Okay. So, you got to figure out a way to have oxygen. One of them is that you need to be able to eat. You need to be able to sleep. Right? So all these are part and parcel of this bigger picture that whatever the if whatever the theoretical thing you're supposed to be doing is you need to have prerequisites and that's you need to sometimes have money to do that. Right? So let's give an example. I'll give you an example which I think is a I think is a very appropo one. Let's go right-winged you know religious on you for a minute. Okay. Let's say what you're supposed to be doing is sitting and studying Torah. let's say for in theory of one's supposed to be doing that. Now, if you take a look in the Talmud, you'll notice that some of the greatest sages that we have ever had jobs, they worked, right? They were shoemakers and they were there are blacksmiths and like one of the the greatest think of like great I don't know if you where you're holding in great rabbi knowledge, but let's say you knew a great rabbi of today who's just sitting and studying. That's a very new phenomena. It's a new phenomena that we have so many Jewish people, religious people sitting and studying Torah as a profession, so to speak, right? It's a new phenomena. Back in the day, people had to work and whatever it is. Now you have some people will sponsor and support and whatever but again new phenomena. So you go back and you go and they're working they're working they're working there's an idea of and til which means the main thing and the secondary thing even though they may have been working for a long time and they're working working they're working with solely in order to support themselves in order to go sit down and study the have you heard of him before the you know that was me Kagan lived from 1839 to 1933 not even 100 years ago one of the greatest rabbis of the of the 20th century and really of many centuries uh he had a bookstore and as soon as he made enough money in the day, he would close the bookstore and then he would go study. So that's what I mean say with the theoretical is that you'll never be able to get to it. I just have a hard time believing that that's the case, right? That you'll never be able to get to it. Timing wise, maybe it'll be less time than you would want to have done. Okay? But you got to do what you got to do to survive. You got to do what you got to do in order to live, right? However, don't let that become your focus. You hear? When a person goes ahead and they're working, the question is, is the work a means to an end or an end in of itself? Now, sometimes they come together. So, if a person is an accountant and the reason they're accountant is in order to support their family to have a nice beautiful life with their family. So, don't get so caught up with the accounting that you're talking about it when you're not working. You get it? If your profession is that you're a doctor, so then okay, then it's about helping people and it's just regardless of ours. Did that answer your question in any way, shape, or form? Okay. So, now the idea is what? How does a person figure out? Mike, did you want to say something before? How does a person figure out what is their goal? So, from a Jewish perspective, I'll tell you the following and take it out, take it or leave it. a Jewish perspective, we have two goals. Number one is what's called the national goal. The national goal is the Torah. The Torah is our goal in terms of the fact that we got to do this. Now, assuming it's true, in other words, if the Torah is true and it really was given by God and God gave it to the Jewish people to do, that means we're supposed to be doing it. And happiness is the feeling that one gets when they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. So, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you fully understand and appreciate and recognize that this is what you're supposed to be doing. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. But if you don't recognize that you're supposed to be doing it, then you feel pain even if it is what you're supposed to be doing. Do you get that? If you're really supposed to be working out, but you don't understand that. Therefore, you you you you hate it. That's only because you didn't get it. But when you appreciate and you recognize internalize the fact that you're supposed to be doing, you feel unbelievable. That's a national mission. How do you figure out your individual mission? Every person is brought down this world. They have a purpose. There's no per there's no person here that is here that there's no reason for. How does a person figure this out? There's a way of doing it even before just trial on error. Before you get to the trial and error stage, what do you do? If I were to drop you off at a work site, if I at a work site where they're working construction construction site. Yeah. And I would say it's 9:00 in the morning. I drop you off. There's nobody there. There's a building that's half built. I'll say, "Listen, I'll be back." Okay. I'll be back. Uh, go to work. Goodbye. What would you work on? What would you do? You got plumbing, you got electricity, you got mason work, you got uh tiling, you got flo you got lighting. What would you do? Now, that's a very interesting answer you just gave. Don't we do that sometimes? Don't we do in life, let's just see what the easiest thing is. And don't we sometimes go and do what the easiest thing is and then we're not so happy afterwards. Like, I don't understand why I'm not happy. That's because it's not what you're supposed to be doing. Don't just go for the easiest job, Danny Boy. I'll give you another answer. Now, let's say I dropped you off, but I didn't just drop you off by yourself. I dropped you off by yourself, but with a toolbox. What's the first thing you do? Open box. Open the toolbox. You open the toolbox, and all of a sudden, you start seeing electrical equipment. What should you work on? The plumbing, right? Answer is what? Electricity, obviously. Right. Every single one of us, we have specific talents and abilities that are inside of our toolbox. We are put here in this world and we have specific things a that we're drawn towards that we just like naturally that we like to do. There are other things that we have that we're naturally talented and we have and we have to start to look into our toolbox and see, wow, I have this. Maybe I'm supposed to be doing something with this. I don't know how to swim. Don't become a lifeguard. You understand? Person goes in understand. So, open up and start thinking, breaking it down. What are you supposed to be doing? Number one is a national mission. That's something called the Tora. If a person goes and says, "Well, I'm really good at I'm really good marksman. I could sneak up on people. I'll be a hitman." Right? It can't be against what the Torah is saying. National mission and then individual. National Torah. Individual within that concept of confinements of trying to understand of where is my role? What am I supposed to be doing? And when you start attaching to that, then you get into the trial and error. You start doing it. When you start doing it, you're going to start being connected with it. You know why? Because every one of us is given a soul. Everyone is given an ashama. And that nishama, that soul, what is connected to a certain mission. There is no one in the world that can do what you can do. No one. This is not to make you feel good. There is no one. If I want to make you feel good, it's maybe something else. But there's no one in the world that could do what you can do. No one. What about No. What about No. What about No one? What about him? No one. You see, because if they could do it, you wouldn't be here. The fact that you're here means that there's something that only you you and only you can accomplish. And you got to figure out what that is. And when you start working on that and you start figuring it out and you start implementing it, there's nothing greater. Therefore, let's do a quick recap everything we did. End off with one point. Then we'll take any questions, comments, stories, jokes, attacks. Here we go. So, start by telling you tell me three. Tell me something that goes ahead and made you happy. Think about a time in your life when you happy. We going to Disneyland there climbing the mountain. Nobody was finishing high school finishing certain project whatever that the person goes to we all these different things are left to make us happy. What's the definition of happiness right? Um or you know this idea well it's you know being one with elund you say right there's what going being one is kind of unifying factor not sad it's not necessarily because you have a person that's not s not happy and what happens maybe because you're smiling just because a person smile doesn't mean that they're happy and saying there's a reaction that happens in the body is the best public place of affection that's the worst relationship out there right person go out there PDing like crazy they're going to be finished within a couple of weeks it's done you don't have to show the world you feel you have to show the world all of a sudden it means you have nothing inside of you okay so does a person get to understand a person going to be happy you're going to be depressed you go wkj camp of America you go and you ate that camp. You wake up, you realize what is it one day? Oh my goodness, what did I do? Oh, we go for the easy job. You go for the easy job, all of a sudden you're not happy. What's going on? Just cuz you climbed the mountain, that's how it is. It's a meaningful accomplishment. What happens if you woke up with you're like, who cares? Who cares that you climbed the mountain? Who cares, right? Who cares, right? What does it matter? You're like, I climbed a mountain. So what if you climbed, God forbid, I don't mean to whatever, but but I do. No, I'm kidding. I don't. Maybe I do. Who cares if you climbed a What does it matter? Well, I climbed a mountain. Another guy, he walked across the street. No, but I accomplished and I built a puzzle. You understand? It's only because you gave meaning to it, right? You went a challenge and you went and you overcame that challenge. I give you another challenge, right? I'll give you another challenge. Climb up this building backwards undressed. So why? Why? What's the purpose? Answer is because people have given meaning to that because they've said, "Hey, look, that guy overcame something which is really difficult. Now I feel accomplished because I did something other people think is good." You realize that? Unbelievable. How many of the things that we feel accomplished by for somebody else? M I C K E Y M O U S A. No, that's not for someone else. That's for you because you really feel like that's what it's about. You get a little older, you start to realize never selling lemonade in a corner of your friend unless it's for $40 a cup. You realize the value of money. You feel happiness is the feeling you get when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. A love is a feeling one gets when they're doing what they think they should be doing. Everything you should be doing it to feel happy. Ignorance of bliss, isn't it? Well, there's another world, isn't there? All of a sudden, not fool them. Did you? Who'd you fool? You fool them. You fooled yourself and you messed yourself over. So there are people now we got to understand if you want to really have happiness in your life and you all do. Money we know is not going to buy the happiness. We understand unfortunately brings a lot of depression along with it. What happens to a situation if you told okay what if what if but what don't get caught up with the silliness with the side things understand that's just to get you somewhere else when you start filling fulfilling your obligation whatever all of a sudden you feel unbelievable connection to something so take a look how does this person figure out what it is number one is a national mission that's called the to number two is an individual mission how you get out what's your toolbox open up your toolbox take a look what you have oh man look at your life I'm a lot like you right take a look and what is that you have in your life what were you given when you see what you have and what you were given and start applying it there's nothing like it It's their people I implore of you. I beg of you. Start thinking a little bit. What's meaningful in this life? What's the purpose? Where are we headed? Is it to make a lot of money? Is it to to to retire at 75 blind in one eye? Can't really walk out to use the bathroom every 5 seconds and go golfing. Is is that is that what it's about? Is it about climbing mountains? Ain't no mountain high enough. You raise me up. Is that what it's about? It's all about right being what is it? What's the point? When you figure out, right? When you figure out what the point is, there's nothing like in the world cuz now you're attaching yourself. There's no joy like releasing doubt, getting clarity, coming in line with it, and then living a life with real meaning, real happiness, and real purpose. Any questions, comments, stories, looks attacks, please keep them verbal, non-physical. This has been a pleasure. Thank you so much. I'll see you when you see tomorrow. Take care and bye-bye.