Think Like a Ref | Rabbi Joey Haber

So it's Super Bowl Sunday. Eagles-Chiefs, Super Bowl LIX, three-peat on the line, and the whole country is captured. People are excited about the pre and the post and the commercials and the halftime and the whole culture of America comes forth on this day. Where do you stand with all of this? A couple of weeks ago, I was on a plane from Houston to LaGuardia. And on the way, I saw a man sitting across the aisle from me. He had a very unique ring. I don't know why, I turned to the man and I said: What do you do? He says: I'm an NFL referee. I said: Like, really, the NFL? You've reffed playoff games? He said: Yes, I've done it all. I said: Can I ask one question? He says: Yeah, what is it? I said: What is the hardest part of your job? Before I tell you his answer, I have to share with you this beautiful thought. Pirkei Avot begins with this unique introduction, and it gives the whole lineage of our people. Why don't you give us the lineage before Masechet Berachot? Why did you pick Avot that talks about our ethics? Why do I need the lineage for that? To answer it, let me give you a beautiful little story. There was once a young boy, his name was Moishy. Moishy was about to get Bar Mitzvahed, so he bought himself a beautiful new suit, a suit which was two inches too long. So he comes into the house on a Thursday afternoon, he tells his mother: Ma, could you do me a favor? Can you hem my suit two inches? His mother says: Moishy, do you see what's going on? I'm cooking for Shabbat, I have a lot happening, there’s food, there’s things, etc. He goes to the housekeeper, he says: Maria, please, can you hem my suit two inches? She says: I’m so sorry, Senior Moishy. Too much happening. I have no time. So then he goes to his older sister who's in seminary. He says: Rochel, could you hem my suit two inches? Rochel says: Do you know what I have going on? I'm in seminary. I was just dating. It didn't work out. And I don't have time to deal with this. Get out. I can't deal with it. He goes to his high school sister. He says: Sarah, could you hem my suit two inches? She says: Get out of my room. I'm on the phone with four different friends at the same time. I’m in the middle of studying. I don’t have time. Midterms. I don’t have time for your suit. So Moishy doesn't know what to do. He goes to bed that night. He hangs up his suit in the closet. He goes to sleep. 6:00 in the morning, Friday morning, his mother wakes up. She says: I feel so bad. Moishy's my cutest son. She goes into the room, she takes the suit. She hems it two inches. 7:00 Maria wakes up. She says: Senior Moishy's the nicest boy. She takes the suit out of the closet. She hems it two inches. 8:00 Rochel wakes up. Two inches. 9:00 Sarah wakes up. Another two inches. By the time Moishy gets out of bed, he puts on the suit. It's not a suit anymore, it's shorts. That's how the ethics of the world is. Society's ethics, every generation cuts its own two inches. One generation says everyone's equal, everyone’s not equal, men are the same, women aren’t this way, men are this way, every race, every color, every type, every ethnicity, marriage is this or marriage is that, care about animals, don't care about animals, America used to be woke, now Trump is here, everything is normal again. Every generation has got its own value system, its own ethics. Our people, our values, are משה קיבל תורה מסיני, it’s from Har Sinai, and it has not changed, to Yehoshua, to Zekenim, Nevi’im, to all the generations, our values never change. So when Super Bowl Sunday is happening and they’re telling you you have to buy this and this drink and that car and that vacation and that show, we’re Jews. You know what the referee told me? He said: The hardest part of my job is keeping my calm. And as I’m walking through LaGuardia, after we landed, I said: Wow, how hard it must be. Because the fans in the stadium are losing their mind, everyone's going wild, the players are all animated, the coach is all irate about a call he just made, he throws off his headset, he throws the flag, he's yelling and screaming, and the ref has to see it clearly and has to focus clearly and has to think clearly and he can't be pulled by all of it. The same thing is being a Jew. The whole world could be all enamored. We have a different set of values and a different mentality. There are some Jews that don't see any of it. There are some Jews that maybe are aware of what's out there, but know how to put that protection. I'm a Jew, like a ref. I have to see it clearly. I have to focus clearly, and I have to think clearly, and I have to know where my eyes go and where it doesn't go, where my values go, because the world's values could change. From Super Bowl 58 to 68, the world's a whole different place. But for us, our culture, our ideals, our values never change.