Influencing from the Heart | Rabbi Mordechai Alster

Although the Torah calls Noach a righteous man, Rashi points out the areas where Avraham Avinu was much greater than Noach. We find two major differences in the lives of Avraham and Noach. One of them is in the area of influence. Noach built the ark for 120 years, and Rashi says the reason for that was that Noach should be able to tell everybody that passes by that Hashem is bringing a flood, and he would encourage them to do Teshuva, but Noach was unsuccessful. On the other hand, Avraham Avinu was very successful at influencing others. The Rambam in Hilchos Avoda Zara 1:3 says Until thousands and tens of thousands gathered around him, and they were the members of Avraham’s household. Avraham Avinu was very successful at converting people and changing people, influencing people and turning them around. Another difference between Avraham Avinu and Noach, The Zohar points out and is even critical of Noach that Noach did not pray for his generation and he didn’t pray to Hakadosh Baruch Hu not to destroy the world, not to bring the flood. On the other hand, when Hashem told Avraham Avinu that He's going to destroy Sodom, Avraham Avinu prayed, Perhaps there are 50 righteous people. He prayed and prayed that Hashem should not destroy Sodom. Are these two differences connected? Are they related in any way? Or are they two independent differences between Noach and Avraham? My father, the Rosh Yeshiva of blessed memory, was once sitting with a group of Rabbeim, and he asked them, What's the most important quality a Rebbi has to have in order to successfully influence his students? And one Rebbi said he has to have good communication skills. Another Rebbi said he has to have good organizational skills. Another one said he has to show warmth. Another Rebbi said he has to have clarity. And my father said: All these qualities are important, but the quality that's the most important in influencing others is something that doesn't necessarily happen in the interaction between the Rebbi and a student. He then quoted the Slonimer Rebbe, who said, The best Rebbi and the one who can have the most influence on others is a Rebbi whose care and concern for his students is such that when he prays for himself, he includes his students in his prayers. They feel it, they see the caring, they hear the concern, they recognize that the Rebbi cares, that's the Rebbi they're willing to learn from, that's the Rebbi they're willing to change because of. Those are the Rabbeim that are successful. That was the secret of Avraham’s success. It was because Avraham Avinu was so concerned and so caring for others to the extent that he prayed for the people of Sodom, that was the quality and that gave him the connection and the people that he influenced recognized and realized how much he cared about them, they were willing to learn from him, they were willing to grow from him, and they were willing to be influenced by him. Whereas Noach, although he was teaching them, and although he was giving them Mussar, they didn't see that care, they didn't see that prayer, they didn't see that concern, they weren't willing to be influenced by him. And that's why Noach was so unsuccessful. We live in a generation full of challenges. Wherever we turn, the powerful Yetzer Hara is pulling us in every direction. And Rabbeim, parents, teachers are all trying to influence their disciples and their students and set them on the right path. But let us all remember, It's not enough to teach, to guide and direct. It's important to include their struggles in our prayers. Their concern is our concern. Their hardship is our hardship. Their challenge is our challenge. If we know that, and our Mussar and our teaching and our lessons come from a point of caring, and we're all in this struggle together, our influence will be all the more powerful and we’ll successfully be able to fight the powerful Yetzer Hara.