Vayimaen Event - The Happy Life! | Rabbi Joey Haber

[Music] It's an incredible honor to be here. You've achieved an incredible feat and what you've accomplished and what you've done is something that really needs to be applauded and mimicked across the front entire world. By the way, am I to be ashkenaz? Which one? Pick. voice. Tell me you like the whole It's like a British accent like it's like cool. Okay. So, what you've accomplished has really been incredible and should be mimicked across the whole Torah world. And I'm going to tell you why you've done it, why you've did it, why it's so important. So, here we go. What is the most powerful thing a Jew can do? Most of us would say you dive in, you say, you learn. All of those things are true. They're incredibly powerful. But very often when people talk about the powerful moments we could have, we fail to acknowledge what may be quoted in so many places across shast as the most powerful of them all. The shah says that there was one of the was very sick. I think it was very sick. sick and another Amor walked in and said, "Prepare the coffin. He's going to die." And they were preparing the coffin. And all of a sudden, Abu Na came back alive. And the first made this comment that he's about to he's going to die. He was embarrassed like there's a coffin here and the man's alive. So Abuna said, or maybe it was a papa, I'm not sure. He said, No, don't be embarrassed. I went up to Shamim. I was supposed to die. But here's why I am alive today. Because of this superpower. There's another where there were alzak. They went up to to Davin on a day when there was a famine and there was no food and no rain for many months. And one of them got up and he many many there was no answer. And then one of them got up and said two phrases from au just two. And rain started to fall. And there was word going out on the street that one is great and one is not so great says the gimar. No no no no they're both great. Just one of them has the superpower. There's another gimbab. The gim says the entire world rests on someone with this power. What is the superpower? The superpower is alav means your normal instinct says this and you do that. Your normal instinct says get mad and you stay calm. Your normal instinct says retaliate and you don't. Your normal instinct says look and you don't. That's a superpower. And there's so many stories of people who in some way had a discipline that was against their human nature. And incredible things have happened. I believe death of Rabbi Yasha was even born. His mother at some point was went against her nature to be angry at something that made sense to do so. Every time as you worked on this project of positive usage of your eyes, you every time you had a temptation to see something you shouldn't. The human nature would say you should turn your head and you didn't. In that moment, you had this superpower. When we were kids, there used to be this little cartoon called Papey. I don't know if anybody ever heard of it. You heard of Papey? Rab, don't admit it if you know what it is. And Papey, what Papey used to do is he was I don't know, he was a little guy. I don't remember again. I don't remember it or 30 years ago. And he used to whenever he was in like a battle or a war or a struggle, he was this weak little guy. And then all of a sudden he'd take spinach and then you'd see him make a muscle and to be like a tank, like a war tank in his muscle. I can't believe I just told over Papey in a speech. You want to have spinach, you want to become incredibly powerful. Literally, you have tanks in your arms. Have a temptation and look that way. In fact, the share writes that if someone is tempted and looks away, they could ask Hashem for anything. Two weeks ago or three weeks ago, I was in my house and my iman came to my house to film five short little videos. One of them was that ball one. And one of the stories I told as I was sitting in my house, I actually told them, "Come at 1:00 cuz I have a meeting before and then after the meeting, I'll shoot you videos." And one of the stories we told made just this point. In one of the videos, someone at that says that if you look away, you can ask you become super powerful. And it was shar know his name who called by and left a voice note. He said my father was went to the doctor. They took a scan. They saw something. They saw a disease in his body. It was clear. They have to decide what to do. He said I was mabal myself at that point to turn away anytime I'm tempted. And I did. So two weeks later we went back to the hospital. The doctor did another cat scan. They said the whole thing is gone. Nothing's here. It's not there at all. And as I'm telling the story, one of the young people that was in my meeting, a modern sparty guy was in my meeting. You were some wall, right? Was in my meeting. He's walking out. He has me filming the video. He says, "Wow, I can't believe you here for Bayan." He says, "I get those Bayan videos." He says, "And I'll tell you what, I have a policy. Every time something tempts me, I turn away and I expect to see results. He says, "And every time I do," he says, "Just now I was on vacation and there was something attempted. I looked away and then I picked up my phone. I got a text message. The deal just went through. The deal was just done. You just made the money." He says, "I can't tell you how many stories the story just said about men. Maybe I don't have it with cancer." He says, "But I have it with so many different things that I can't tell you how incredible the results are, but it's more than this. And I don't know again if this is appropriate to share, but a few summers ago, I am not aware of this at all, but I know Spartans, so they tell me these things. You heard of something called Netflix? Never heard of it? Never heard of it?" I you boys ever walked past Sixth Street in Lakewood? Okay, so I'm glad you never heard of it. Netflix made a program of a woman who was formerly aided woman or from yeshivish woman who went off the der completely and apparently again and shalom of course it's not something I've ever seen but again I do know a lot of people who know these things they told me she talks about this about a year and a half ago. She talks about how incredible her life is and now she's living the life and she hangs around superstars and and she does whatever she wants and life is she's wealthy and she's a billionaire and she everything's great. So I gave a sh that summer and I'm going to share with you what we said in this year. Hashem says, "Excuse me for being ash." Hashem says, "I give before you a blessing and a curse. You go down one road is the blessing, the other one is the curse. The medus says like this. He says here's how the roads work. The road, the way it works is one road is beautiful. The pasture is gorgeous. There's grass. There's trees. It's fantastic and easy and smooth, but at the end of that road, there's incredible thorns. On the other road is very thorny. You don't want to go in it. and then it's very smooth. I said this is how it works. If you choose the road that's easy and smooth and it looks like your life is awesome, next thing you know you're in the thorns. But if you're willing to go through the thorns initially and you go through some of the toughness initially, then it becomes beautiful at the end. I said that's the promise our Torah makes. If you're willing to accept the Torah life the right way and it's hard in the beginning. It's thorny. I can't do this. I'm looking away from this. I have to stop doing that. This all it's thorny in the beginning. The results are incredible. But if instead you take the easy road. So this lady's gaming all out of town. The name of the show is my unorthodox life. How great you are that you don't care about anymore. You're living it up. Your life is awesome. I said let me tell you something. If I made a program called my drug life, it would also look great in the first few episodes. Anyway, it would be unbelievable. I learn I'm party. I'm chill. I'm gray. It'll look fantastic. My alcohol life would also look unbelievable initially. My gambling life also would be fantastic if you showed me if I had money in my pocket. You showed me gambling money again and again. I'm making money. I have parlays. I have overunters. I'm doing incredible making money. Final four, Super Bowl. I'm fantastic. I said, "But then show me 5 years from now and you'll see me broke. Show me 5 years from now my drug life and you'll see me a mess. Show me 5 years from now my alcohol life and you'll see me ruined." I said, "I'm so proud of her. She thinks her life is awesome. Let's see this show in 10 years from now." 6 months later, I was giving a class again as Shia to modern kids and they said to me, "Rabbi, it didn't take 10 years." I said, "What happened?" said the lady in the show, her husband divorced her. She was fired from her job. Her life is a mess. Cuz that's how it works. You start easy and then you're in the thorns. I said, "Let's see your unorthodox life today." Yet, show me a from person, your person is a yeshiva man that lives life the right way and I'll show you. Yes, it's thorny. Yes, it's difficult. Yes, it's mysterious. And I'll show you an incredible life today with happiness and firmness and and stability and and and shalom and peace and beauty and success. I'll show you incredible things. I know it's thorns initially, but if you're willing to go through those thorns, you see beautiful results. And nothing is more is this more relevant to than it is to Shirim. Initially it's difficult but the results of protecting your eyes is so much more joy, so much more happiness. A person looks at this and that and that and that and before you know it, their brain is dizzy. They can't see straight. They don't know how to be married. They don't know how to appreciate a wife. They don't know how to have a focused life. It's a mess. Yeah, it might feel like it's fun, but then it's messy. I'll tell you what it's like. Are you guys excited to be eating in soul tonight? Yes. Let me ask you a question. Let's say I gave you this morning quickly while you were in the car driving to Chaffas. I gave you a quick piece of steak. Then driving home, I gave you another quick piece of steak. And then while you're learning first, I gave you another taco with whatever they have inside. Um, pulled beef inside. Then lunchtime, I gave you another little piece of steak. Then I gave you some cubes of meat right before afternoon seder. And then in the middle of the afternoon, I gave you another little piece of cold steak. And then on the way here, you had another quick piece of a taco with pork beef. And then you had another cold steak right when you're walking inside. Would you come into this restaurant excited and ready for the steak you're about to eat? Or you' be I don't know. Your stomach would be a mess and you would be not sure. Are you full? Are you nauseous? Someone who doesn't watch his eyes thinks he's in the easy pasture. He thinks it's wonderful in the beginning. Before you know it, your stomach is nauseous. Your eyes are a mess. And you can't appreciate anything in your life that you're supposed to appreciate because you ate steak all week. One day you're going to get married. One day you're going to have homes. One day you're going to have children. And one day you're going to have real joy. Don't waste the joy on cold pieces of meat along the way. Don't waste your joy on eyes slipping all over the place. Boys, this is your chance. This is your chance to make yourself ready to build a home, not just Al Tyrus, to build a home of happiness and joy and satisfaction. But you have to be willing to go through the thorns because then it creates incredible results and you have to trust that Hashem is going to deliver those results. Okay, I am with one more story. I've told the story over a thousand times. I like the story a lot cuz actually the reason why I like the story to tell it over here is because it's relevant to literally right on this block like literally outside So in the summer I'm in Brooklyn all year round. I lived in Lakewood for many many years. I used to rent in Lakewood every summer. The last couple of summers I'm a deal for the summer. I'm a rough in deal. So I have to be a deal for the summer. So being trying to be a bent terror raising or from family in deal and the summer is a drop tricky not so hard because there's plenty of ner and there's areas that are fine but it's still a little tricky. So this past summer, it was a Sunday night and it was banana manu was starting. I guess it was before tishab and two of my sons and out of tishiba were coming home. So we decided as a family we're going to go on a little outing on Sunday night and we're trying to figure out. So, we thought by the time we got Sunday night, we were going to come right here. And we thought by the time it's night time, it'll be somewhat safe and it'll be appropriate when we got here. And again, my single kids were in the car, my sons, my daughters. Somehow they weren't invited, but my married kids were in the cars behind. And now we get here and we realize that this is not for the eyes of Ben. So we say, "Okay, we have to turn around." We go back half hour later, we say, "We come back." Still not. Sunday night, apparently it's chaotic. There's a lot of people still. We don't belong here. So now I Now I decide I'm going to go home. My kids are a little disappointed. We go to some fast food place on Norwood whatever. We get some poppers or whatever. We go home. My daughter, who's 13 years old at the time, we'll call her Ruffle, is very frustrated. You guys are so f we can't do anything in this family. We're sitting on the dining room table now eating poppers. We were supposed to have a fun night. The boys are outside. They're doing fireworks, blowing up the backyard. And she's sitting here frustrated. So I said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. We tried. What are we supposed to do?" Then she at 9:00 she wanted to do something else. That didn't work out either. And then she throws up her hands and she says, "Hashem never makes it work for me." Now it's like 10:00 at night and she comes over to me. She says, "Daddy, gun Syrians we call daddy. It's not Tati. It's Daddy. Daddy, could you take us to Urban Pops?" Anyone here know what Urban Pops is? They don't know what Netflix is. They don't know what the Super Bowl is. I'm very clear. Okay. Now, why you Urban Palms is a ISIS store that's in Brooklyn here in deal in the summer. It's very expensive, high-end ISIS, like $6 a pop. Daddy, can you take me to Urban P? I said, "Okay, no problem. They close at 11:00. We go before they close. Now it's 10:30. I'm ready to leave. Who wants to come with me? No one wants to come with me. Daddy, you go by yourself. So now, okay, I'm leaving the house. And this ruffle comes over to me and she whispers. She says, "Dad, do me a favor. Could you get me two cookies and cream and birthday cake?" I said, "Okay, no problem. I'll get you two." Now, I could drive you in the car. I walk into the store. It's as awkward as could be. It's 10:45 on a Sunday night. A rub is walking into the store. They don't know what to do with me. They put me in the back of the line, the front of the line. They give me 20% off, 20% more. It's as uncomfortable as could be. Finally, I get to the front of the line. My mom is don't know what I'm doing here. Everyone's looking like, "Why is he here?" I I try to be do my best, be a good father. So now I get on the phone. I call my wife. Said, "Okay, what does everyone want?" I'm taking the orders. Lemonana, pinina colada, s'mores, whatever. Take all the good, put in the box. Everything's good. I leave the store uncomfortable as could be. Everyone else, they exhale as I leave. I put my daughter I put her cookies and cream in the box. I come home, open the box. Everyone comes and takes their flavor. She takes her cookies and cream and they go upstairs and it's done. Now it's 11:30 at night. My daughter knocks on the door in my room. She opens up as well. Says, "Dad, can I come in?" I said, "Yeah." She sits on my bed. She says, "Dad, you got the second urban pop, right? I said, "Let me ask you a question. Who loves you more, me or Hashem?" She says, "Hashem." I said, "Are you sure? Who loves you more?" She says, "Hashem." I said, "Who loves you more, me or Hashem?" She says, "Daddy, I know. Hashem." I said, "Here's my second question. When you saw that Urban Pops box empty, did you doubt? Did you doubt me?" She says, "No, I never doubted you." I said, "Did you doubt me?" She says, "I did not doubt you." I said, "Are you sure?" She says, "I know you're going to deliver. I did not doubt you." I said, "Raul, you're spot on." Cuz let me tell you what happened. After everyone went upstairs, I went through the back door of the house, came around to the front to the car, opened up the passenger door. In there, there was a bag of one more Urban Pop birthday cake. I came back around to the back door, came into the house, everyone was upstairs. No one saw me. went into the freezer, then the laundry room freezer where there's Mazad, that's Syrian food, and I stuck your urban pop right underneath the Mazads there waiting for you." She says, "Dad, thank you so much." I said, "But here's what you need to know." Just like when that box was empty, you knew to never doubt your father. You said it. Hashem loves you more than me. So then never doubt him either. And when the box is empty, never doubt him. He always delivers. Sometimes it's what you expect, sometimes it's not what you expect, but he always delivers. She came across the bed, gave me a hug, literally for five minutes crying cuz she felt like I got it, understood her. Now, before you think I'm a great father, let me be clear, okay? I got everyone in my family. One urban pop. I got her two. I got me three. Just so we're clear. Oh, just to follow up. So, if you know anything about me, I love telling these stories in Shirum. So, on Wednesday, I told the story in a shear. Thursday, I come into my house and in the freezer, there's two boxes of Urban Pops. So my son, my buffer son comes into the house. He says, "Daddy, what's that?" I said, "I guess I spoke about in the Shia. They probably heard about it." So they gave us two boxes for free. He says, "Dad, next time could you speak about schnitle? You need to know that when you're in that moment, when you're pulled, when you're tempted, it's human nature to be tempted. There's nothing wrong with you. the fact that you're tempted. Just like there's nothing wrong with someone like the Ram says someone seeing an uncoserious steak and saying I want to have that cheeseburger but then he holds back. There's nothing wrong with the fact that a part of you wants to turn your head. There's nothing wrong with you. But when you have the courage and the conviction to turn away, that's when you get your superpower. That's when there's tanks in your arms. That's when all the sudden you see miracles happen. And that's why you need to know and you need to believe that even when you feel like your box is empty because at your age there's always things that you want and things that you need. You know your father in heaven will deliver. Not just in the next world he'll deliver in this world. Cuz if you have the courage enough do you know what? Don't just finish the book now in 90 days. Do it again. Do another 90 days. If you have the courage enough to walk through those thorns and go through what is initially difficult, ultimately your life will have so much joy and so much happiness and it'll be so smooth. So the next time someone wants to pull your head away and someone wants to make you try a little piece of a cold stale steak, know that your eyes are not going to turn because you want the incredible superpower of being able to trust in your father in heaven and to know that he will deliver for you the most incredible life you've ever dreamed of. Thank you and good night. [Applause]