Battle Scarred | Rabbi Naftali Reich

Sometimes thoughts pop up in our mind. We’re embarrassed of them. They seem to be embedded in the fabric of our mind, in the hard drive of our Neshama. And it's so hard. We try to expunge them, but they seem to just surface in the middle of Shmoneh Esrei. It could be even in the middle of Neilah. We’re embarrassed. Is this really me? Let me share with you a story. I was involved in Kiruv for many years, and probably one of the most inspiring students that I had was a fellow by the name of Steve Seyfer. Steve came to Ohr Somayach in Monsey, a young man, seeking to explore his heritage. He came from a very difficult past. He had been the lead singer in a punk rock band that toured America for nine years. But greater than that, more difficult than that, was the fact that he was covered in tattoos, head to toe. And yet, despite the ugliness of his body, his eyes, boy, did they shine. His Neshama shone forth and with a genuine quest for the truth, he made his way from Aleph Beis all the way to Gemara. Today, Steve is one of the leading members of his community, with a beautiful family, built on the foundations of Torah and fear of Heaven. And yet, Steve one time said to me in his difficult days, Rabbi, I'm disabled. I have tattoos all over me. My past is so apparent to everybody. How am I going to make it? And I told him the story that we're all familiar with. The Satmar Rebbe was leaving Eretz Yisroel in the early '50s and his Chasidim clung to him and they said: Rebbi, to whom should we give a kvitl? To whom can we ask a blessing? You're leaving us. And he said: When you go into shul in the morning and you see someone that rolls up their sleeve and they're about to put on Tefillin and tattooed onto their arm are the numbers, they’re the one you should ask the blessing from. They went through the Holocaust, they went through a personal holocaust, and yet their faith is on full display. Many times afterwards, he told me that those words were ringing in his ears on his journey forward, and they helped him realize the pinnacle of personal spiritual success. And it's something that we all need to absorb, because we're all battle-scarred, we're all tattooed, and we all worry, Maybe I'm disabled. Maybe Hashem can’t like me. Maybe there are things that disable me. And we have to know that אדרבה, on the contrary, despite all those difficulties, despite those pop ups, we're moving forward, we're fighting the battle, we're growing, we're determined to find the truth of our Neshama, the shine of our eyes. They will see eye to eye. And therefore, that is our badge of honor, that is the source of our blessing.