Valuable Words Priceless Silence - MUSSAR Pirkei Avot (12)

[Music] n good to be in Avent the breast lift Center back here again try to get some uh M some uh different things that are going to help our lives drastically we see from the uh online are getting very good results a lot of people are uh commenting and uh saying this is the stuff that they've always wanted to learn always wanted to uh apply it's obviously it's not easy every week it's uh you know a uh a huge uh undertaking you know if you just apply one week's entire sh to your life you're already going to improve your life in a big way uh but the key is to make sure that we apply a little bit a little bit each time to make sure that uh never to look at it as it's too big for us oh this is too much for me I might as well not even listen to the rest of this you are ah this is too much okay I might as well not do it no okay whatever you could take take on if anger is your problem okay start working on it if you can't overcome your anger over in two seconds then obviously uh you know take um a little bit try to contain yourself somewhat if it's uh not anger if it's patience or if it's this or if it's that whatever it is different issues that every one of us uh has we have to make sure that we work on them and uh ultimately you work but you have to make sure that you're working on something because if you're not working on something you're just wasting time you just m is like grinding water you know you're living your life just grinding water nothing's going to change then this we're just wasting each other's time you know we're all going to get up to and they're going ask you okay did you learn to say yeah yeah I went to sh once a week I uh I did uh went to went to went to sh once in a while okay great so uh why did you still walk around looking like a why did you uh still uh act like you never ate food before in your life every time you saw a steak you like jumped on it thinking like you're a uh wild uh lion in the middle of Africa chasing a deer why didn't you work on your midot why don't you work on your character traits to to become a benadam to come become a human being oh you know I listened listening is half the battle doing is the key so now we have continuation of uh series if you don't mind close the door please if we continue with theot series we have uh M 17 shim now we listen to who's Shimon we know that every time we have a uh a mish it's usually connected especially with especially with the first part it's connected to thee previous one soim Shimon the son of is the one that said the previous his son the son of says all my days I've been raised among the sages and I found nothing better for the body than silence being quiet it's not the theory that's the primary of importance but action exactly what we just said and one who talk successively bring sin now already over the last couple of months we've been learning each one of these Mish we see that the plain simple meaning of it already is atomic bomb if you apply all of it but then once you start dissecting each and every part of each Mish you see it's not only atomic bomb it's a death star M each one of each sentence each Mish you break it down into pieces of what it actually means we see that it's something that's completely out of this world that could change your whole life just applying part of the mishna not even the whole mishna just part of the Mish already changed your life is listen also going to change it huh it's the only listen you can't apply everything that also going to help listening is is half to battle you have to apply you have to apply as much as you can okay so first and foremost we have to ask again as we do every week who we talking to who is the Shimon who is Shimon who is this Shimon the son of and he's telling you here listen my whole all my days all my life have been raised among the sages okay so what what what's the big deal he's trying to tell you here listen if you're going to be surrounded by a bunch of losers most likely going to be a loser if you're surrounded by winners most likely you could be a winner you can have more opportunities to be a winner you're not guaranteed to be a winner more most likely if you're surrounded by smart people most likely what you're going to hear is things that are of wisdom of intellect and you're more likely to actually earn the wisdom yourself so he says my whole life I've been part of the royal family the Gamel family and en it says every time is in an argument you know all the debates right they have debates this size did this this size there this every time is in the argument already automatically you know I heard they would argue would be like a war sometimes sometimes but the point is is that Shimon says my whole life I've been around these people these Giants these T these people that are able to revive the dead these people that are speaking to hasem these people that was I I was around them my whole whole life so you know I'm not a fool first of all and second of all you know that in the nature versus nurture battle I'm on the winning side cuz you have sometimes you have nature win sometimes you have nurture win scientifically meaning you can have somebody be surrounded by a bunch of winners a bunch of sadik a bunch of people that are extremely smart but if he has a problem mentally he's uh has some type of disease Shalom or he has some type of uh some type of problem some type of Mo yeah some type of Moon it doesn't matter how smart everybody else is next to him he's never going to be like them because he doesn't have the physical ability so that's nature Shimon is telling you nature I'm 100% healthy he giving you m nurture he says who you next to who's your surroundings if you grow up in the middle of the projects where every other day there's uh there's a a murder every other day there's a new drug lord every other day there's a serious problem it's going to be very very hard for you you need serious serious to get out of there winner it happens but it's much more difficult than if you were born and grew up in a religious neighborhood you have people that are T not necessarily Rich doesn't have to be rich some of the greatest sages that ever lived most of them will dirt poor but they were surrounded by they were surrounded by so it's not about money it's not about having fancy buildings and fancy this and fancy that no it's about having meaning if your surroundings is a bunch of people that are criminals or Wicked people against AEM most likely you're going to be like them but if you're surrounded by that wake up early to go to Nets that uh go to sleep late because they're studying T that know that SCH is much more important than a lot of the things that they think uh adding a lot of these extra that are not really uh you know the that people add so they know what's important if you're surrounded by people like that most likely to be a bigger winner Shimon is telling you I've been a beneficiary of both I'm 100% healthy and on top of it I'm surrounded by the biggest winners in history and I'm telling you that my whole life I listen to them I sat next to them and there's one lesson I want to tell you I learned from them now you could tell okay say listen what kind of lessons could he tell us listen if you learn with with dedication you're going to be a big if you work really hard you're going to be I don't know really rich or really smart what kind of advice somebody like this surrounded by the greatest sikim in history what kind of advice he going to give us tell you one thing one thing all my days I've been raised among these sages and I found nothing that's better for the body than being silent now first hear what do you mean being silent you're talking right now it's saying being silent what kind of silence is this so first and foremost we have to understand that he's telling us something here that's very very deep there's silence and there's silence there's good silence and there's bad silence so for example I read in his uh blog called a wondering Jew uh was nice article and he was talking about the uh the I think it's called the what is it The Sound of Silence yeah the sound of silence and uh he uses all different types of proof something very very interesting it says you know abah ainu abah ainu uses a source is um midan Muma 9 or 39 and he says we learned a few weeks ago when hasem told him listen I'm going to destroy destroy everything all of a sudden goes into a debate with he says no if they 50 you're going to destroy andm says no I won't destroy them if there's 50 says what if there's 45 it's only 45 okay so it's five less than 50 what you're going to destroy the and just because it's five less than 50 says no no problem I won't destroy them so says okay what if there's 40 I won't destroy them what if there's 30 I won't he goes back and forth back and forth until they go down to the number 10 Shem says even if there's 10im I won't destroy it but you see here that the Torah has an extensive dialogue shows us an extensive dialogue between Abu and AEM is debating AEM he's trying to convince him to not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah he's giving them all these excuses all these things okay kazal says that hasem continued letting him talk because he had so much respect for him and so much love foru that he did not allow himself to destroy s and gor until felt like he said everything he wanted to say until he got everything off of his heart until he finishes he e Bud till he got everything off his heart he said okay now you finished you got everything off your heart okay okay I'm going to check if there's 10 sikim I promise you I won't destroy it he said obviously there wasn't 10 sadim there wasn't even one no should have prayed also he said for but the point is that he let him he let him talk and get everything off his heart fine but then we see something much more interesting then we see that after the whole issue of what happened with Sodom and gamorra hasem destroys it there's no there's no there's no nothing shortly after hasem comes to AB a and he tells him my son remember that son that I told you the one that you love your only son the one that I said that all of their descendants they're going to be one day like the stars of the sky or the sand in the on the beach remember all that remember that sun that I talked about yes well I want you to bring him as an offering bring him as a aan in essence what AB understood is I have to kill my son I have to kill my son for why because hasm said so what is he going to do not only follows what hasem says but he actually wakes up extra early in the morning to go bring to the at 37 years old he brings him to slaughter his son ties him up is aad he says ABA tight me extra tight just in case my comes and I push you away cuz I'm much stronger than you so tie me extra tight so you can do it now here's the interesting thing you look look that details of the entire which we read every morning in you see that not even once not even once that debate with hem not once did he say to maybe you want to kill is anyway he's going to turn into a bunch of Arabs that turn into Isis that want to kill all of us anyway a maybe you want to kill one of these Canim or something one of these Canaanites that are Idol worshippers hasem maybe want to something kill somebody else wait kill my son the one you promis me is going to be my Descendants the sadik one time argue with him saym doesn't really make sense what you're saying to me it really doesn't make any sense just yesterday you told me that all of my descendants are going to come from now you're telling me to bring him as a as a Corban how are The Descendants going to come from him if he dies how could this be why didn't it's a good question question it's a good question not one debate for the he debated but for his son the sadik that it doesn't make any sense at all he didn't debate once it's big question so here we know and we learn that AB ainu obviously that preceded Shimon that preceded even mosenu he had the entire T in his hands the says just like the has a handful of Parts chapters the had 4,000 Parts meaning his Torah was much much more expensive than ours written down or in a uh and he know it by heart I think it was he know it by heart much better memory but nonetheless yeah of course different people we can't even imagine what they have but the point being is that he had Torah that we can't even imagine there's also a book called the book of creation still around we still have parts of it that was AB AO he wrote it there's different secrets in it different cabalistic stuff the uh one of the uh holy book says since abah ainu the forefather of Judaism he wasn't a Jew he was a Noah hide so he wasn't allowed to keep Shabbat but the says that the a kept the entire T but the r says and so and so does the different places in the T A go that keep shabb a go that keep Shabbat has to get death penalty heavenly penalty he's not all to keep Shabbat and the reason why is because they're not if they're if they're staying a non-jew by them keeping Shabbat they're in essence only taking part of Judaism and not the entire thing which in essence means that they're creating a new religion you're not allowed to create a new religion that's one of the reasons another reason is because Hashem says that the Shabbat if you remember in he says it's a covenant between me and you you who's you this is also this is also an argument against a couple of people today there's a couple of rabbis today that decided to become the new Rashi and uh start contradicting what the sages have told us for the last 3,300 years and I said no no no that's not what they meant that's not what they meant they Noah heyes are allowed to keep Shabbat is allowed to keep Shabbat this is completely against the Tor it's completely false they say no but it means g means this g means that b the whole argument is destroyed by a simple one verse in the Tor one single verse AEM specifically says the Shabbat is a it's a covenant between me and you you meaning the Jews not you meaning the noahides not you meaning the Egyptians not you meaning some guy that wants to keep it and still uh worship idols and not a guy that even if he doesn't worship idols but he doesn't want to take on the entire 63 Commandments can't keep Shabbat so now this is a contradiction how did keep all the but at the same not keep shabat so the holy book say thatu used the secrets that are in the book of creation that was actually given him enough the the wisdom to create things to actually create so what you would do so on Shabbat he would create a cow from nothing like hasem created the world keep your gave him the ability to create stuff and you're not you're not allowed to create anything on Shabbat that's the whole thing 39 restrictions are Creations you're not allowed to create anything so AB would break the Shabbat by creating a cow or creating a sheep and that's how you would break the like right now if somebody goes through conversion in the beginning throughout the process of conversion we tell them that you're not allowed to keep the Shabbat 100% but you have to keep it 99% why so you have to obviously you have to get practice but you can't keep it 100% until you pretty much are converted or you're right right next to the conversion you're a month away or a couple of weeks away from conversion until then you're not all to keep it 100% so break it intentionally by small thing turn on the light or uh you know do something small to break it not drive to Sho on not a big violation that's but you know something small intentional so that's what would do for him creating a cow was something small that's how big AB was well I thought he was he had a he was Jewish Judaism only started when we had the Torah we didn't have keep okay okay so that's what the that's what the sages tell us and that's what we listen to we don't use our own opinions our own doubts our own anything because our own opinions are meaningless when you compare your opinion my opinion his opinion and all 7 and2 billion people that live here today all of our opinions none of us can create a cow you agree nobody can create a cow nobody create anything nobody create a cup nobody create a picture of a account so you can argue with somebody that created account you can argue with somebody that brought back the dead you can argue with somebody that spoke to God first who came out of so that's it so people people have to understand first and foremost you have to listen to this m first of all no one to be quiet no one your opinion doesn't matter when you're comparing your opinion versus versus the opinion of hem versus the opinion of the sages that had much higher mental and spiritual capacity than we could ever have you already are losing battle you're already losing battle so that's the first thing that we have to understand so nowu this very that was keeping the argued for the didn't argue for the sadik so someone that's as holy as this smart as this doesn't make any sense what he's doing explains to us something extraordinary knew this mishna and he knew when it meant to be quiet doesn't mean that quiet is always good sometimes quiet is sometimes quiet is good sometimes quiet is terrible if let's say for example you have a bunch of people coming and they're they're going against the T they start saying this start saying that start saying bad things against the Torah you being quiet it's a bad thing if you see somebody you don't tell them listen Shabbat you're not allowed to drive on Shabbat according to the Shabbat page 54 it's like you violated Shabbat if you didn't rebuke somebody when you see him violating Shabbat violating any sin it's like you made it so that quiet is not good it's not a kosher quiet it's a bad quiet but if you have somebody that wants to argue with you Shalom your wife wants to come she wants to argue with you she's hot she's upset the kid fell and she doesn't know where to take out all this extra energy on she wants to argue with you about what nothing oh I'm this or I'm that you never take me out or you never this or you never that things that are not true or perhaps even don't really uh it's not really what she really wants she just wants to argue with you or perhaps the husband wants to argue with the wife for what for nothing he's upset the guy the the boss didn't give him a raise he was get supposed to get a new position he didn't get it some other guy got it his team lost his this lost he got a flat tire whatever all different types of St that happen in people's life and we get upset about them we get really really upset now when somebody is upset it's can only one of two things can happen either it stays with them and eventually goes away or it turns into a it turns into argument a must be between at least two people there's no such thing as an argument between one person with himself if if you're arguing with yourself you probably should not be coming to the sh you should go to the men institution you don't argue with yourself what you say no yes no that means you're you're multiple you're bipol it's a problem is not going to help you for that so argument means it has to be between two people what is a also it's a synonym for what another word is war every single war is because there's a difference of opinion between two parties we do that CU he gets mad and we are not able to contain ourselves where we have to speak we have to have our opinion heard we have to do what we're doing because we want to hear ourselves speak we want our opinion to be heard we want our opinion to be listened to and so on so now in the Book of Job chapter 26:7 when one of job's former friends saying different he's saying different things that are not really uh good things to say not things that are you know he's sounds like he has NOA job answers him all the things you have where do you think you got them from you got them from Hashem and you have this from hasem you have that from Hashem he says Hashem is great even though job is the one that's suffering job is the one that got sick job is the one that lost all of his money job is the one that lost all yes of course job is the one that lost all of his kids 10 kids dieded in the same day all of his money billions of dollars lost everything in a matter of hours like imagine he invested everything in the stock market and the stock market went to zero went to nothing everything was lost all in a matter of an hour like I lost it on that that one day 9:00 in the morning I have money 9:35 no money I wouldn't be I I would go nuts I would go listen gave me my when I was able to handle it won give you a test that you can't handle so now aob is trying to even though he's the one that's suffering he's trying to help these other people he says all the stuff you're complaining about hm is great and he says meaning hasem suspends the Earth upon nothingness meaning you're sitting over here all comfortable in your chairs you have your shirt you have your hat you have your gravity you have your oxygen you have your food you have your blood cells you have your white cells your red blood cells you have your teeth you have your car you have the sky you have the atmosphere you have rain coming weather you have everything that you want but all of the stuff that your whole world sits in a little sphere a little sphere page 12 says that the world already two over 2,000 years ago they already knew that the entire Globe is a sphere not like the go that thought it was a flat world some go like the Greek say that they actually uh they knew that the world was round but it's not written anywhere as obvious as it is for the Jews that the world is a sphere it's also written in Z which is 2500 years ago but nonetheless the point is is that says it's turning around right so now job is saying this sphere has to be in a perfect place in a perfect time perfect temperature perfect everything meaning if the sphere goes One Direction to the right if the sphere goes One Direct One Direction one degree to the right and closer to the Sun the sphere is destroyed because everything dries up he was better than older scientists today already if the sphere goes One Direction one degree to the left it gets too far from the Sun one degree not 500° not nothing one degree a little bit like a little move little shake to the left everything freezes we're not going to survive so he says now this fear job is telling us it's very very important that it stays in the place and kazal explains to us in the Z like you said it's spinning it's not only standing there it's spinning spinning almost 1700 miles hour really really fast now if you take a ball and you spin it take the ball you know spin it start spinning it's going to start going somewhere it's going to go to the right it's going to go to the left it's going to go somewhere that not going to stay in the same place especially if it's spinning really really fast it's going to go somewhere unless you have something holding it whether it's your finger that's holding it in balance or it's a pole or it's something that's holding it where it is but job is telling us the world what is it standing on nothing it's not only in a perfect place but it's spinning really really fast and it's not moving not one degree to the right and not one degree to the left because if it would move one degree to the right or left everything changes everything is destroyed so kazal says from here we learn the significance of being quiet at a time of argument how BMA nothingness comes from the word Bolen means quiet someone that holds himself back from Talking told us that the is when someone is in a situation where somebody comes to argue with him his wife comes to argue with him the husband comes to argue with her the boss comes to yell at you the customer comes to yell at you and yet you bu you keep your mouth shut you don't answer you don't make it into a war they're arguing but with themselves meaning that because you're quiet the argument dies cuz what he's going to continue arguing with herself she's going to argue with herself okay she's going to yell eventually if you don't answer that's it she finishes eventually he finishes that's it it's over why because you didn't contribute you didn't join if you join even if you say so like that just said she she talked to you for an hour the fire if you she talked to you for an hour straight she's talking she's burning your ears already are melting from from the fire coming out of the mouth you don't say nothing but then at the end of an hour you say one word small little word two-letter word so is going to be like for you what she going to do to you after you say so because you it's just those two letters made her whole hour like it's not important to you not only she's already upset on top of it you're making her feel like what she's upset about doesn't mean anything oh what oh what you're not going to you're not going to stay married you may not even stay alive the week just say you're right you're right and that's it so here's the thing so job is telling usal is explaining to us there's a time to be quiet where your quietness is so valuable that that Hashem is telling you that at a moment where there's supposed to be an argument somebody came to you to start a war somebody said to your face he's making fun of you to your face and you stayed quiet then you contained the war and because of you the world is standing meaning what is the world standing in he's standing on nothing what's that nothing that nothing is all of those people that are shutting their mouth at a time where there's an argument that's a two Atomic B that's the people the people that are quiet he's holding the world up he's holding the world up so if I stay quiet I'm doing myself a favor argument not only you're doing yourself a favor you could actually even pat yourself on the back saying ah the whole world is standing because of me that's what has is telling you here this is something that people don't understand the value of and now somebody would say okay wait a minute hold on a second Rabbi you're trying to teach people midot you're trying to teach people mid telling the guy that he should be proud of himself for doing a MIT isn't Pride not good sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad in the book of Chronicles 2 uh verse 6113 chapter 613 or 136 I'm sorry sorry 136 it says and his heart became prideful because he was fulfilling the will of hasem meaning hasem that's what hasm wants you to do you doing my MIT of course you be proud of yourself you're fulfilling the purpose of this world you did somebody did CH you brought somebody to do CH tell people you did it but if you have nothing to talk about he said no I have a nice car that's a prideful person you should go in a room and work on your midot gu says look look at my beautiful wife you and your wife should stay inside and learn that you're not supposed to show your wife like she's a trophy but if you're doing a you should be proud of yourself why not this is again a lot of people think that you're supposed everything is supposed to be extreme if pride is not good anywhere no there are certain thing certain times that it is good where if it's fulfilling the will of hem but not Pride like listen I just built a Sho look at me guys no then you're not doing it then you're doing it for the pride of getting C of people meaning Pride within yourself that you proud that you're moving closer and closer to Hashem meaning that you are fulfilling the will of hem you should be proud of yourself for that not like put a banner on the on the highway say hey guys look I built a shoe hey guys look I'm doing a uh you know big mitvah here I just donated $100 million to a hospital that's not a uh that's not a Mitzvah that's a sometimes you have people that they only do theah so they can publicize it not because they care about the mitvah because they care about the cavod they want everybody to know that they have money and they're generous but in reality not generous they just want everybody to say good job good job good job so that's not allowed so now first and foremost about to be quiet first and foremost we hear here that is a huge benefit of being quiet at a time of argument huge benefit the page 19B it says anyone who has a meaningless conversation is making a positive sin is making a sin so now this went up a little why on one hand we hear that we have to be quiet at a certain time we have to talk at a certain time but but now kazal is telling us that even when you're talking you have to watch your words even if you want to talk you have something to talk about Hey listen I had this I had that I had this you have to make sure that you watch your words you're not wasting your words why because if you're having a completely meaningless conversation it's 100% Sin Sin how relevant as it is is it to our generation [Music] obviously this is something that's very very difficult for most people but nonetheless the rambam says a person should always accustom himself to keeping silent meaning to increase his silence he should speak only of matters of wisdom or matters pertaining to his living needs this is RA so R is telling you listen of course you're not only going to say only your whole life you're not can you talk about cars but if it has something to do with Tora you could talk as much as you want if it has something to do with your living to survive listen can you grab that toothbrush for me I need to brush my teeth listen can you I need to order I don't know I need to order pizza I need to hey by the way the customer you talk to the customer about selling him something you need to talk about things like this said that you're allowed to do but sing you want to just talk about how nice cars are you want to talk about girls you want to talk about some baseball player that makes a lot of money you want to talk about some Hollywood star that made a good movie all of that not allowed to talk about it you're wasting your life you're shortening your life now we have a serious serious problem because a lot of us talk a lot of so in 56 it says is explained to us here says yes my soul comes out from the mouth meaning that every time I say something a piece of my soul comes out if it's I'm also accumulating something adding life because T is is a is a compared to uh to to life but if it's if it's baseball football the movies all the nonsense that's in the world SCH the wisest man that ever lived is telling you my friend you're wasting your life you're wasting your years all this extra words you have to understand hasem gave you a certain amount of words a limited amount of words to say in this world now he didn't tell you when you first came in hey by the way almost you were given x amount of words y you were given x amount of words Nissan no he didn't tell you the amount so we don't know so somebody likes to talk they're talking and talking if they have they have the gift of G they like to talk not only they talk but they uh they they have the gift of God they can talk to no end this person is killing himself every time this is sometimes you see somebody oh wow what a nice guy only died at 40 years old oh he only died at 60 years old this is a problem so now this is one of the things that we have to understand that there's a time to be quiet but even the time that you're allowed to speak you have to watch your words can't just talk to no end so Abu knew that there is a few different different types of talking few different types of speech and he actually mentioned it there a really nice thought in his uh in his blog he said he brought up this uh France Rosen wi it's a Jewish philosopher who uh spent all of his life analyzing this uh this whole subject of of being quiet and Jewish thought and so on he says this is what he says there's different forms of quiet different forms of speech so first there's one that that can't speak to another person meaning he's quiet not because he wants to be quiet he's quiet because he can't speak to another person either because of a physical you know disability he's mute or because the person is not there or the person's deaf whatever he can't talk to him so that's the first type of quiet then there's one that's the opposite that he can talk he wants to talk and he talks he has the ability to talk to the other person so he's the exact opposite then there's finally there's one that gets to a point where he doesn't feel like the need to talk to the other person doesn't want to talk to him anymore he decides you know what I already said everything I said I don't want to talk to her anymore nothing for us to say like sometimes you have people that you know yeah there's a debate some people like the debate some people don't like the debate I personally like the debate but sometimes there certain people I don't feel like debating with why it's not worth it cuz they're not listening they're not looking for the truth wasting time they're not looking for the truth they just have their opinion there's nothing you can do in the world you could be the mashia come down say hey look I have to that mashia not listening to you anyway they don't want answers they don't want answers they already have their answers like for example sometimes have the uh debates with certain people you know the whole issue with Wigs Wigs now this is a very very big M this is a very big dramatic issue in Judaism and it has been for some time especially in recent couple of generations where a couple of asazi said that a certain type of wig is allowed and then people translate to something completely different where they're pretty much saying that all wigs are allowed and not only all wigs are allowed there are wigs that are more beautiful than natural hair and you could sweep the flow with the wig and your little movie star this is not what the Bim said even the ashkanazi number two then you have yeah but those was also a couple of spartic and one is saying that one of the great po OFA said yeah you're allowed to have wings and he was spartic which is very rare for SAR to say the wigs are allowed he was like a but no as a matter of fact uh my is the of gon M which is one of the main students of who actually wrote the book with that put the answer about the whole wig being allowed or not allowed and he says no he didn't didn't allow the wig all he said is that a woman is allowed to wear a wig next to a husband inside the house if he's doing meaning if somebody wants to do kma he's not allowed to do kma next to a woman that doesn't have a hair covered his wife is not hair her hair is not covered even though she's his wife he's not allma next to not allma this is also the problem of what you know you go to certain shoes where like reforming conservative schools where the men and women pray together it's a problem it's not only a problem that the rabbi is usually a dog or a cat or homosexual it's also a problem because a you have the uh people are uh you know mixed so now if somebody has if there's a woman is not covering her hair that is a uh is it okay woman is not covering her hair you know have to do crch M next to her so said no if she wears a wig that's sufficient for the husband our own husband to do next that's sufficient covering of the hair he didn't say go outside and cover the hair mated right so now there people mistranslated it and there's even between another student of his another student of that according to somebody I never heard it from the actual student itself but according to somebody he says no he heard differently he said that it's okay because the problem is that his own wife wore a wig yeah now in the book by he wrote an answer to this that said and he said listen when somebody came up to and said listen how are you saying you're not allowed to do a wig if your own wife wears a wig your daughter-in-law is wearing a wig how are you saying that said did you come to me to ask me what's allowed or what do people do you understand smart right there so just because his wife did it doesn't mean that it's allowed same goes with somebody came to was very very strong against wigs very strong against wigs he he's recorded multiple times about being very strong against wigs but somebody one timean came to him and you know one of the said how is it that you're uh daughter-in-law your own daughter I'm not really sure if it was a daughter or daughter-in-law wears a wig and you're singing out the we wig says yes there's place for and G also place he wasn't uh he wasn't joking around if everyone is not doing it then like what should I do it you know it's hard because you are obligated to do what Hashem says not what people do if you were going to just compare yourself to what people do then you're going to within a week you're going to stop keeping everything why because you have S and a half billion people normal religious people do if they were normal religious people is what a couple of million normal religious people out of the couple of million normal religious people not everybody necessarily has the highest level of some yes some no so the point being here is that sometimes I have to go back to the issue at hand sometimes I have an argument with somebody about wigs and uh at the end of the argument you tell them listen if you're ashkanazi and you want to rely on the ashkanazi P that say you have wigs fine but you have to look at what rash the leading asaz his time of kki all of the major even the ones that saidash didn't say it's not allowed but even if you look at the couple the couple that said it's allowed the couple none of them that's not the biggest PIM in the world but a couple that said it's that it's allowed they never said it's allowed that you have to to have a wig from from your head all the way to your uh you know to your uh stomach I said if you're going to have wig it has to be short has to be modest so that's number one it can't make you more attractive so that's number one number [Music] two when you compare the wigs that they permitted in their days versus the wigs of today the raban saying that the wigs of those days even a blind person would have known It's A Wig meaning they looked like straw they look like they look terrible so to say that you know the wig of today that look better better looking than the uh the Natural Born hair obviously this is not the same wigs that they permitted that's number two number three you have another issue you have another very big issue there only a couple that say it's okay but one of the said after doing research I found is at least 80 five Pim that say it's not allowed to wear a wig under any at least 85 of the leading Pim say it's not allowed at all so let's say you have two three maybe four say it's okay five those five are better than the other 85 of the biggest giants of the generations so your whole life you're going to say it's okay to listen to those five to those three to those two but to go against the 85 you you're okay with that because the other the ones that say it's not okay they're not just saying it's not okay but you know what don't worry about it the ones that are saying it's not okay like for example the babaali babaali says a woman that wears a wig is going to see the downside of it when she goes to G because they're going to use the wig as material to burn her they're not very nice about it when they're saying you're not allowed they're not saying ah it's not a big deal it's a problem the ones that are against wigs is a very very serious problem so you have 85 at least so that's that's number three number four that I don't think any is is the biggest one is the biggest atomic bomb because it's the only one that no one's addressing right now if you want to listen to the pem to this one to that one fine let's say you found yourself an excuse let's say you found yourself an excuse that you're going to listen to the B wear a wig fine ashkanazi Safari whatever you want to be here's the problem that no one's addressing after doing some serious research and will'll come out with something eventually like some movie of some kind or whatever but after doing some serious research market research which is what I did for 16 years for a living it's it almost impossible it's almost impossible to get a wig that doesn't come from Ab 99.99999% of all wigs come from India and China and they get their wigs from their temples don't people are as as aan to their false gods shave their head that's their they do it every year and according to statistics they said that out of the billion people approximately that India has every family every person has has donated his hair at least twice every so two billion people pretty much donated just from India at least the minimum there are tens of thousands of tons from these temples to such an extent that everyone knows that the Vatican of the Vatican is the number one richest entity in the world right the Vatican they own more real estate than McDonald's permit who's the second richest entity in the world I'm talking about entity bigger than Apple bigger than IBM bigger than Walmart the Vatican is bigger than all of them who's number two Buddhist the Indian temple where they donate the hair what do they got because there's six people people donating the hair no because there's lines out the door out the building out the street out of the city every single day people donating their hair pilgrims donating their hair so now there's different shows you could look up on the internet if you want you could do your own research if you'd like until we get our research going to take some time uh you know put it into something but pretty much you see that all of the wigs are coming from this they but what happens there was a big balagan about a little over 10 12 years ago where somebody said this look all the wigs coming from India so the made a big stink about it there was a big thing they started burning all the wigs in y but then somebody came out and said no no no no we're going to get kosher W we're going to go watch we're going to go to India and make sure that the people were getting the hair from are not doing a idal worship now whoever is naive enough to believe this nonsense good luck to you what can I tell you I can't help you I can't I can't help somebody that's not willing to help [Music] thems or they say no no we're getting them from Europe that's what most people said no no we're getting European Wings we're getting European wigs yeah when was the last time you saw an Italian woman shaving their hair never never why because they value their beauty more than they value their life that's true my wife's Italian I know trust me they love beut a very beautiful woman she knows she she's the one that told me this she goes you serious you think that somebody Italian ever going to shave their head a few bucks for a few dollars for a million dollars she wouldn't shave her head what you crazy who shaves her head a European wig no so that what we do okay so it doesn't make sense that the Italian are going to shave their head like maybe the French French French are even worse no chance they're going to shave their head they like they value their beauty even more than the Italians okay maybe the English no chance in the world so we start looking all over Europe no way no way it's not part of anyone's Heritage so then we started doing research we found this whole uh video uh by uh big news organization Research Place a guy that unfortunately a Jewish guy that started the wig business like made the the whole hair extension business uh maybe like 25 years ago and of course so this this person they had a whole interview about him guy became a billionaire this and uh at least in this world he's a billionaire in next world but nonetheless he shows you his whole process of where this European wig is coming from and you see all of the European wigs all of the everything wigs India just says everything it just says your why because it goes from India then it goes for processing in China CH so it says made in China then then China sells it to England or France or some other place and then they do the next step of the processing once you start touching it painting it you know the the you know so you do something to it it becomes yours so then somebody asked okay what about the blonde wigs when was the last time you saw an Indian woman that's blonde my friend they paint them and you see in the same same movie they paint them blonde they paint them red they paint them whatever whatever color you want whatever color you want they paint them and they show you the whole process and it's all coming from India now to say that there's why do I say 99.9% because it's always possible unlikely but possible for somebody to go to somebody else and say listen I want to buy your hair and that person is saying okay some I don't know some Israeli I actually have a cousin like this uh heard daughter wanted to be a hero and she wanted to donate her hair to some cancer patient yeah I heard about this so an Israeli girl donated our long hair to some cancer patient okay but how many Israelis are doing this six seven they're not supplying the entire wig business or you have some woman in Wisconsin grew her hair over 20 years she sold it okay that's it she grew it she sold it it's over how many of those women in Wisconsin and idowa do you have they're not supplying the tens of thousands of tons of wigs every year so that's why I say 99.9% it's possible that you may have the one but it's unlikely why because the overwhelming majority of them is coming from India so now you have a bigger problem than all of the schem you have a bigger problem then whether it's allowed to wear a wig or not allowed to wear a wig whether it's long or it's short whether it's black or it's white or it's red you have a different problem why because this specific issue no one what is this issue benefiting from a once something was ever used for you are never allowed to benefit from it there a whole about it you're never allowed to benefit out of it no p is going to tell you something different once it once it's used for that's it you must destroy it what hasem said go to is but burn all of the uh the uh a trees why burn the trees M skinny why we going to burn the trees we don't need to burn the trees it's hot we don't need it's not New York where it's freezing cold no no no all of those trees were used for once they were used for once somebody bow to them Must Destroy them you can't even look at them you can't benefit out of them you must burn them You Must Destroy them from the face of the Earth you can't even make pots and pans you can't make nothing from them You Must Destroy them once a wig comes from the source of You Must Destroy it so now who can tell me with confidence what woman in the world can tell me or herself really when me who cares about me who can look in the mirror what woman in the world can look in a mirror with her nice long wig and look at a mirror and says you know what I am 100% confident that my wig came from a righteous person that's not doing idol worship sure 100% sure it has to be 100% it can't be 90 why because if it's 90 you're you're actually an idol worshipper supporting you're supporting idol worship it's not like it's a small sin like listen you ate uh you know uh you ate something that's not like glot it's kosher but it's not glot Kosher it's not B it's not B it's not okay it's kosher but it's not like the greatest kosher level no it's not that it's idol worship or not that's a serious problem that's a serious problem so now you have yourself a serious problem so now I have these debates to go back you guys even remember the original argument why I even brought up this whole week situation so I said that sometimes I have debates with people that I know they're looking for the truth I remember a few lectures I did in New York I uh I said something that said a long time ago and he says this wig no wig only one question to anybody anybody wears a wig it's because they're trying to fulfill the will of hem they're trying to be righteous it's not they're not wearing a wig because they want to look like uh parison or some other prostitute they're wearing a wig because they are trying to do the will of hem trying to be righteous cover their hair usually wig no wig doesn't anybody ever ask themselves the question who's the only person who's the only woman that we mention in the Tora that showed her hair the the Wayward woman the woman that's being accused of possibly cheating on a husband part of the embarrassment of trying to convince her and intimidate her to admit that she cheated on her husband so they don't have to have a drink this water and kill her is by taking off the taking off the hair covering and showing her hair meaning that even a woman that cheated on a husband even of a woman that's a cheater even when a woman that's a prostitute still would not go around with hair uncovered if she's married she scar right so here's the thing so so again is asking the question why does that everybody want to look like the ignorance why does everybody want to look like the it's not a compliment to look like the so now you have yourself a serious problem so sometimes I have this question and when I said this in the New York lecture which I'm going to do a lecture by his place tomorrow lecture huh you have someone argue with you in that lecture no no one argued I just said this during the lecture and rabbi told me that one of the women that came there came to him after the lecture and she says right now I'm taking I never thought about it that way from today on I'm covering my hair with scarf that's what happens when you see the truth she saw the truth she said I never thought about it this way I never thought just a big deal cover my hair wig this that but I never thought the only who wants to be like the on that minute she told him and he told me he sent me sent me a message he's like you wouldn't believe it the woman that day took on so sometimes so I say this why do I say this I say this because it's the truth and I say this because it's necessary but sometimes you have people that don't want to hear the truth they don't want to hear it they already have their mind set they're already listening to their Rabbi that's allowing them to do it they're already whatever they they don't want to change they're not interested in changing so in that case arguing with them debating with them is a complete waste of of time it's a complete waste of time to go tell somebody that's a that has it and his lineage and he's not he's just not interested in changing not interested in doing anything you're wasting your time you could break your head from here until next week you could show them every proof from the Z from the from the five books of Moses from anywhere you want doesn't make a difference if he's not looking to be a if he's not looking for the truth nothing's going to change you could talk until you're blew in the face could talk until you turn into a Smurf nothing's going to change nothing's going to change he doesn't want to hear the truth he wants to wear a wig he wants to eat he wants to he wants to steal he wants to whatever he wants to do he doesn't want to change so then to to spend your effort talking to him it's a complete waste of time it's not a mitvah says somebody like that it's not you don't even it's actually not even allowed to tell them what you want why because CU you know it's a waste of time you know he's not going to listen to you so now the third stage we said first stage of talking is when you can't speak to the other person that's the first type of Silence second stage is you have somebody to talk to and you're able to talk to them third stage is when you get to a point where you don't feel like talking to them there's no need to talk to them like this person that's never going to listen to you anyway he his father his grandfather his whoever told him you're allowed to wear wigs that's it he doesn't care he doesn't care what you say who are you you're about you only a few years you're this you're that he's going to give you every excuse in the world except the truth he's going to say listen what you're saying is true because that's what Kaz say not because I said it he's going to blame you doesn't want to change he doesn't want to change so for him he says finally you get to a point there's no need to talk to this person there no need to talk to him because nothing's going to change you're wasting your time and then number four is when you get to a point where there's no need to talk because without talking the other person already understand you when does that happen that happens when you've gotone to a point where there's a perfect relationship you've gotone to the ultimate level of a relationship when you have a relationship with for example let's say your spouse your wife the point of a relationship is for two people to bring the best out of each other that's the point of every relationship if you is a relationship with a man and a and his wife or it's a relationship between an employee and a boss or it's even between a you know owner and a customer the point of every relationship is for the combination for the pair for the partnership for the relationship to create a better good then what you can do by yourself if the good stays the same or deteriorates there's no point it's a loss if every day you open up shop you lose 500 bucks you should shut down your shop as soon as possible you tell me no but listen you know how much money I spent on this business who cares how much money you're spending on this business you're going to lose more money the longer it stays in business the more money you're going to lose if you could turn it around then it's different but but if you see that it's guaranteed to lose $500 every day forever it's guaranteed to lose $1,000 every day forever it's never going to change then every day that you keep it open makes you insane you're the definition of insanity if every week you're unhappy with the job for 15 years and you still have the same job then you're insane why because get a different job already what's wrong with you get a different job you don't like the job get a different job so now so now you have a situation where someone has a relationship and they got to such a point where they realized that to have this relationship I'm going to have to work on it if I'm going to have a wife I'm going to have to constantly change and improve myself I have to improve my mote I have to be more patient I have to be more complimenting if you want to be have a happy wife you have to compliment her every single day what when you know when every chance you get if you want a happy marriage you must compliment your wife she's beautiful she's funny she cooks great she I don't care if she cooks you cold say it's delicious I don't care if she looks like Gargamel she's beautiful unless you want to get divorce you want to get divorce what what you coming for SL uh uh Shing you get divorced get divorced but if you want to get stay married you must complement your wife because what's the point of staying married with a miserable wife or a miserable husband a wife needs simple she needs very very simple she needs a husband to show her he loves her how words don't buy you don't need to buy her a brand new car every week you don't have to buy her flowers 15 times a week you can buy her flowers once a week you can buy her a car if she needs one Friday night get her but to have schom all it requires is words simple words wow honey you look beautiful today I have this this is beautiful yes it's beautiful no you don't have to lie you don't have to lie listen if she's 500 lb you can't say you lost weight she's not going to believe you but again there's Beauty in every woman and if if you watch if you watch your eyes you'll see the beauty in your wife all the time anyway which is also another secret of watching your eyes people have a lot of aot a very difficult time especially newlyweds where either they're scared to get married because they're scared of settling maybe they'll find somebody more beautiful or after they get married they're only married for a few years they already start looking start looking at other women and they find every woman prettier than their wife the reason why is because they're looking automatically their wife becomes ugly in their eyes automatically and automat Ally everybody else is better now if somebody actually watches their eyes and doesn't look at other women then that means that the only woman you actually look at you see other women because you walk in the world you know you see somebody but you don't stare at them you see a woman you look away okay you see that she's in front of you she's in your direction you go a different direction if you staring at her and you pretty much have a vision of her in your mind then you're making a serious sin but if you know you want to know where you're going so yeah once in a while you look up most of the time you try to look down try to look on the floor you don't have to necessarily be uh sightseeing at all times you look up once in a while and you see there's a woman in front of you and you look away you look down again you know there's somebody in front of you so you shift to the right or shift to the left so you don't run into that but that means that the only woman you're going to look at is your wife if the only woman you're going to look at is your wife automatically she becomes more beautiful to you if you've never seen a diamond before in your life the first diamond you have is definitely going to be the best diamond in the world a guy that just got a car he's in the middle of an island there's no cars there's no planes there's no nothing the first car he ever saw in his life is this beat up car that you wouldn't even throw out in America you wouldn't even throw out you know I remember when I first moved to the US 25 years ago they used to leave cars on the side of the highway somebody doesn't want his car anymore and it would just leave it in the side of the highway and we were like amazed at it 26 27 years ago what however long it was like what do you mean like these cars are so much money in Israel like how does somebody just leave a car on the side of the highway didn't make any sense to us so same thing like that people just you know they get to a point the car is 10 years old or 5 years old 20 years old whatever it is they leave it on the side of the highway they don't want to put any money into it garbage but somebody that got one of those cars but it works makes noise when you turn it on you could hear it from here to Afghanistan can hear the muffler makes noise this thing makes noise that thing makes noise the car constantly bumps this that but it's the only car this guy has ever seen to him it's the best thing in the world to him it's better than a Ferrari it's better than anything in the world cuz it's the only car he's ever seen when does he realize that it's not really that good of a diamond when does he realize that it's not really that good of a car to any cars on the island when somebody else comes to the island on vacation and he brings his Mercedes-Benz the brand new car and he brings them he brings the brand new car as soon as he sees this other guy's car driving without the noise driving without the bumps driving without the uh you know every you know the holes every where immediately he starts hating his own car it's not that he likes the other guy's car it's immediately he starts hating his own car immediately starts hating his own life when someone is looking at other women immediately he starts hating his own wife immediately he starts being disgusted by his wife and even getting to a point where he's imagining other women when he's intimate with his own wife doctor's orders because the doctor told him listen you guys are having uh tough uh intimacy problems listen you think about the baseball player and he's going to think about the uh Victoria Secret model according to is even a if that's considered like their own kids like a m type of kid it's not 100% but it's a serious problem go ahead I heard that um it's not my opinion I'm just saying what someone told me religious guy yeah he got married his wife had a few kids and when he married her she looked good uhhuh became look an elephant afterward after they had a few kids she gained wait yeah he said they let they let go she's eating broke and danish is uhuh and how am I going how even if I want to be attracted to I can't cuz it's not the woman not true at all he's completely full of it he's completely full of it if he only looked at his wife he would not know there's other Beauty in the world but women can't let themselves go after they get married not that not that I'm not saying that it's allowed for a woman to become an elephant uh you know on purpose but obviously a woman is bringing life to the world she's naturally going to gain weight to lose weight gets harder and harder as you age but even more so if you're having multiple kids it's even harder but it doesn't really matter if you only look at your wife and I'm telling you from experience if you only look at your wife there's no such thing as other Beauty if you watch your eyes eventually you can get to a point I had a conversation with an yesterday he has this issue and working on it and he's he's moving in the right direction but we got to a point I explain to him this if you watch your eyes first and foremost your wife is always going to be beautiful to you it doesn't matter she gained weight didn't gain weight doesn't make a difference as long as she tries obviously if she starts smearing her face with peanut butter just for fun then there's a serious problem but if she's tries to take care of herself as much as she can but she gains some weight she tries to take care of herself some way but whatever she's a a pimple here and there because of whatever oil or whatever it's not the end of the world and you won't see those things as a big deal you'll see her as beautiful cuz you watch your eyes if you watch your eyes you'll even get to a point where every other woman becomes ugly everyone else becomes ugly everyone like somebody tell you oh isn't she good-looking I don't I don't know if she I look she oh what did you think of her shirt I didn't look at her shirt I don't know you don't know you don't know you're not there you're not in it doesn't matter to you why because the only woman you allow your eyes to put to to be fixed on is your wife that's it the thing canot take get on you if you watch your eyes 100% so now when you have holy eyes you're going to have holy marriage also but now how do this if you watch your eyes that means you want to watch your relationship if you watch your relationship that means you want to have a good relationship and if you have a good relationship just you have a seat over there that means that you could ultimately get to a point where you can sit down in the same room with your wife you can sit down in the same room with your best friend you could sit down in the same room as anyone any type of relationship that you have say nothing but be perfectly happy that's the sign of a good relationship that's secret if if you con if you have a relationship where you constantly to un enti Ain each other there's a problem in a relationship if you constantly have to take your wife out because she's always bored if you constantly have to take your husband out or do something for him or do this or do that because he's bored or he's this or he's that the systemic problem in the relationship it's fixable but there's a problem if your kid is constantly telling you that he's bored or she's bored there's a problem because a mind that's full of wisdom that's content that's Happy doesn't get bored and it doesn't need to be entertained so now you have the Sol you have the ultimate outcome of this so now we get to a point say okay so now we see this perfect type of silence is a silence where I want to be silent or I don't want to be silent but it doesn't make a difference I know I'm sitting next next to you you don't have to say anything I already understand what's on your mind oh yeah you thought about that too yeah I thought about that too okay that's it end of the conversation you already know where I'm going I already know where you're going you get to a relationship with your spouse with your friend with whoever which a really if where you already know which way the other person thinking is going to it so for example me and my he'll have something that we're learning and I'll have a question he's like yeah I knew you're going to ask that question so I already prepared the answer for you that's I knew this I'm going to tell you this and this is the question you're going to ask about it so I already have the answer prepare for you that's when you know there's a serious connection here so now if you have that type of connection with your marriage you already have G you already have G but if you don't if you don't that doesn't necessarily mean you should go into a manic depression get divorced kill yourself no it just means you have a lot of work to do but now how where does this all start it all starts with understanding the ultimate conclusion of Silence what is it what it is there's silence that's good silence and a silence silence that's bad silence Abu when he came to Hashem and he knew that there's a chance to save Sodom and Gomorrah he knew that he can't be quiet so he knew that if he's quiet at this time when hasm is about to destroy an entire city it's a bad form of Silence but on the other hand when has specific spefically ask something from him said from you I want your son said if that's what you want from me there's nothing for me to argue this is your will it's your world it's me arguing with you me not being silent is bad me being silent is the perfect state of mind which means that when someone is not silent versus when someone is silent is two different states of mind so for example when someone is silent because they have no answer you tell the guy listen what do you think some big thing happened what do you think and you're like speechless you have no idea what's going on I don't know what to say I don't know I don't know why this Rabbi wrote this about that I don't know why this woman did this and that you don't know you're just like dumbfounded that is a silence that's from confusion from chaos like you have no idea like I don't know I'm silent because I have nothing to say I'm speechless but not a good it's not a good form it's not a good type of silence is that I have nothing to say I have nothing to add I have nothing to contribute I am I'm even in a worse condition than you because at least you're trying to talk to do something about it I am helpless that's a bad form of Silence the perfect type of silence was what had at the time of he already knew hashem's mindset just like a perfect marriage where I said you just sit next to each other and you already know what the other person wants you sit there you're quiet you're I don't know watching a lecture and all of a sudden one of you gets up and comes back 5 minutes later with I don't know with uh Coca-Cola popcorn oh you know what that's what I wanted I know I've been with you for 10 years I've been with you for 15 years I know you like popcorn I know you like C Gatorade I know you like Gatorade you didn't have to tell me to go bring it where is she first we have to prepare ourselves so when she comes we're ready so now I already knew that you like popcorn I already knew pretzel they like pretzel they like Gatorade I so I don't have to ask you do you want this do you want that I know you like it I know you like tea so I'm going to make you tea I know why I have to ask you do you want te why for what what am I asking you for what is to hear your voice it's much more pleasing when you show me you know me than when you're constantly verifying what 20 years you're with me you still don't know if I like tea or don't like tea 500 times a day I drink tea you still going to ask me just bring the tea so that's the thing that's a perfect that's the perfect that's the perfect type of Silence already knew where hem is his will is to have no questions asked that's what you want that's it why because I love Hashem and all I want is for Hashem to be satisfied with my existence so that's what Shimon is telling us here is that silence it could be dangerous or it can be beneficial but one way or another it's going to show you where you stand if you have constantly a dangerous form of silence for example you know T you know that people are not allowed to drive on Shabbat you know that people are not allowed to eat anything they have to eat kosher you know that people need to be modest but you're constantly silent you're the rabbi that doesn't say anything you're the one that's tells everybody that everything is great everything is that then you also know that Hashem wrote something about you in the t i hated him my it's a rabbi I said why and this we said in the I think it was last week most people visualize asav as some like animal beasty type of person G in reality was a he knew T his father was knew the entire T and it says in the Tor by the prophet Malachi hasem says I hated him it doesn't sayem hated it doesn't sayem hated ham it doesn't say hated it doesn't say hated anyone else but why his father's his grandfather's abrah ainu why you hate him cuz asav knew the truth asav knew the truth and he didn't say anything he knew you're not how to drive on Shabbat but he didn't say anything when he saw his friends driving he knew not allowed to eat but he still gave a meal that's not kosher to his father instead of giving him deer he gave him two dogs he knew the truth but he didn't do it so if you're that Rabbi you're that friend you're that local community leader you're that average Jew that knows MIT that knows T but you're constantly silent when you're seeing everybody else preparing themselves a g with their sins you keep your you keep your mouth shut it says why because you considered a you considered a heretic you're not allowed to be quiet I'm not saying that you go around start spearing people in the middle of the street that are driving on Shabbat there's obviously a way to to rebuke people there's a way to tell people you have to develop a relationship you have to come to them a certain way but being quiet in perpetuity is not possible if you want if you believe in hasem that's a bad form of quiet that's a bad form of on the other hand a positive form ofik is knowing when not to talk when not to talk page 18 it says if a word K says if a word is worth a coin let's say a dollar they use it in their own language their own coin their own currency so just for argument sake we use a dollar if a word is worth a dollar silence is worth two dou so now we now we flipped it now it's different now it's completely everything we just said is just changed wait a minute you just said silent is not good now you're saying silent is even better than talking how could it be ah now was explaining us this if you know what to say then say it your wor your your words are worth something they're worth a dollar you know you know Listen by the way not no you know how to say to the guy you know how to communicate with him because you have a relationship with him you have a dialogue with him you have a dialogue with her you know how you know how to speak to them how to approach them how to get them to understand that you care and that's why you say it not because you just feel like telling people what to do then your word is worth a dollar it's worth a million dollars but if you don't know what you're talking about and you don't know how to communicate you're one of these people that see somebody you know violate shab you flip the table start going crazy then my friend you being quiet is worth much much more it's worth double please be quiet please don't say a word just give him the CD give him the CD don't say a word do me a favor don't rebuke anyone don't tell anybody anything don't say nothing if you don't know how to talk he's talking politics I said is what talking politics it's not a lot right talking if there's a purpose for it if that's what you do for a living if you're just talking about you like this President you like that President then it's nonsense that's but if you uh you know if you're one of these people that comes to scho to talk politics because you like Clinton you like uh Trump you like this one you like that one you think he should do this you think he should do that but you're not in that business and you have no contribution be quiet your wor is worth a lot more if you're quiet so now Shimon is telling you this if you're if you know when to be quiet that is the best thing you could possibly have best thing out of all character traits the best thing why because then you already are considered when you have a room full of people everybody's talking you know once in a while you always have like this one guy that likes to make a show likes to talk likes to be like interactive he's like an action figure like you say six words he's like oh he moves his body he like all crazy you usually you have this in like big Gathering somebody always likes to like be the movie star big big scene usually that guy's the fool usually that guy's the idiot who's usually the smart one or at least everyone thinks he's smart my guy in the back the guy doesn't say anything the guy says three words the whole night oh that guy's a genius how do you know I don't know he's just it's a genius so it's a funny story funny joke one time guy goes to a bird store he sees one Tuki one parrot and he sees parrot $500 beautiful parrot from I don't know from some jungle but the one right next to it is $5,000 looks exact the same and the one next to [Music] them it's $15,000 also looks exactly the same and then the one all the way to the right looks exactly like everybody else $500,000 guys like what what's going on four Birds here each one's more expensive than the other there little miserable one is 500 bucks everybody else is a millionaire what's going on here so no come on explain this to me why is this one $500 go it's a simple parot got it from some jungle so what makes this other one it's $5,000 so much better goes oh that one that one knows the entire by heart starts talking the par wow you know it's worth $5,000 little bird knows the entire my heart okay so what's this one $115,000 oh that one that one knows the and the entire by heart start tell the the whole wow $15,000 worth even more okay fine so this one knows this one knows this one knows Tora the other one knows oral Tor okay fine again what's this want $500,000 what does he know what else does he know and the shop says shop owner says I don't know what he knows but all I know is that the three birds call they call him so sometimes the guy that's quiet that's the one everybody thinks is smart and usually is so then the next point the rambam says and there's five different types of speech there's a speech there's words that come out of your mouth that's a that's when you have coming out of your mouth you have words of Tora the said this the said that thear says this the says that asking questions about t asking questions about asking questions about things that are connected to the Tor day to day that's Mitzvah every word that comes out of your mouth you could say it from now till forever you have unlimited amount of those words then you have second type of speech is forbidden what is it false testimony falsehood tail bearing cursing foul language meaning it's things you're lying to people you're lying about Witnesses you're lying to people in general you're cursing Shalom using bad language or worse of all is saying things about somebody publicizing making a bad name like unfortunately every other day happens today rabbis going against other rabbis in Israel in America say no no his teaching is his teaching is we don't like his teaching we don't like his style fine you know what let's say you don't like his style let's say there's a certain RAB without mentioning names because everyone already knows doesn't really make a difference let's say there's a certain Rabbi we don't like his style we don't like his style he does this he's too aggressive he's too this he's too that whatever true doesn't make a difference he says to but you don't like it you don't like the way he does it which in the Tor permits you to say about him and to embarrassing him in public because you don't like his style which one there is none there is none if you're not allowed to even embarrass an average Jew an average low-level Jew thear says it's better you jump into fire and die and burn to nothing to ashes then embarrass one Jew in public one Jew so much so that when you embarrass a Jew in public says when you embarrass a Jew in public you have no share of the world to come you could do you could do Rashi you could do this the you have is $155,000 every year extra and you have this from you could do this and you could go to and you can go to this and you could do all the in the world you embarrass somebody in public and ask for forgiveness if he forgives you yeah you have to ask for serious forgiveness you have to undo it it's a very very serious Chua what who did Chua for something like this who did CH for something like this happened actually a lot of the in this book that that you have here that's just they wrote not the ones that I wrote obviously come from wrote an amazing book called now when did he write this book the thing with the rambam ah not only had a thing with the rambam he was the leader rambam came out with a book I believe it was guy to the perplexed that included a lot of the wisdom or teachings of the Goen the philosophers Aristotle uh Plato and so on different Greek teachings and so on and at first look rabbis didn't like it big rabbis didn't like it said this is this is heresy this is this is yesu this is ham this is now in those days not like printing houses five minutes your 15,000 books and every book was handwritten to finish one book took a long time is a big book and handwriting it long long time they start taking all of his books and burning them in the street andai is the leader burn the ball burn the book Burn the book then shortly later Went to went to Yesa start taking start burning that too like look the Jews are burning their own rabbis books we're going to start burning too let's burn the whole Jew let's burn the Jews too let me see this because I made a mistake I should have read the whole book before I said it's I should have read the whole idea before I just took a clip and assumed I know what he's saying I should have watched the entire video and see what the substance of the conversation is before assuming that a 3 minute clip is the whole idea Hashem made me see it and I have to read the book and he read the book and he says Not only was I wrong that it's not but R is R is bigger than all of us his whole life he took him now how can I fix this I just burned all of his books everyone thinks he's now everyone that was there at the burning book session who knows if they're still here maybe they went to a different city maybe they told somebody else ra is this how I'm going to fix this for the rest of his life R traveled from City to City took a v he took a n traveled from City to City to go to Every community and say rambam is right his Torah is Holy I was wrong and throughout this time he wrote the book how to do CH now you know why it's such a special book if if somebody wrote somebody that's F from birth somebody that's religious doesn't even know what a sin is sadik everything is great whatever he wrote Chua what do you know about CH you did Chua your father's a rabbi your grandfather's a rabbi you were at Cola you never left the cola you learn you're this you're that your best friends were the four walls what do you know about CH you know about sinning you know about this you know about Casino you don't know anything you're somebody made a huge sin writes a book about Chua because he actually went through it he embarrassed himself went from City to City whether they knew about the rambam story or they didn't it doesn't make a difference he didn't ask by the way do you guys hear about the r oh no okay so don't worry about it I'll leave no came in I made a sin I made a mistake I publicized falsehood I said rambam is no good I was wrong I said the rabbi said something wrong I was wrong in reality I just don't like his writing style if he would have wrote the whole idea in the beginning and not the whole idea at the end then I would have changed it but that's my fault it's not his fault I just don't like his style that's why no place in the Tora says that just because you don't like somebody's style you're allowed to to embarrass him in public you have to watch the whole video my friend before you conclude just because your style is to write the main point in the first paragraph and then explain it throughout the rest of your writing doesn't mean that everybody else writes it that way other people can write Once Upon a Time which is completely meaningless to the end you have to watch the whole video you have to read the whole book you have to talk to the person you have to get to know them what was behind it you can't jump to conclusions and this when you do that the rambam says this is forbidden talk this is not allowed you're not let to anyone you're not let to embarrass anyone so now that's the thing that people don't understand yeah okay you know what there are some people that are good there are some people that are bad there are some people that there are some people fine there's some styles that work there's some styles that don't work work fine but as long as it's Tora as long as it's a as long as you don't have substantial proof that there's anything wrong with it keep your mouth shut and the worst part about it all is that you know that has nothing to do what he says why because there's plenty of people that say much worse things and no one says anything like for example just today one of my uh one of my helpers sent me an article a reformed rabbi says a reformed Rabbi says that the cause of all terrorism is the Torah and we should give respect to the Quran reform Rabbi meaning he calls himself a Jew getting worse and worse these people getting worse and worse and then you have another one another student send me a picture of two of with the uniform of theas they have pict with the leaders okay so these people these people if it was the time of sunling they would get death penalty immediately so you have much worse problems than somebody style that you don't like be quiet you don't like it you like it as long as it's true quiet made a lot of people exactly so here's the thing so moving on rambam says first speech good one is Mitzvah bad one and so cursing forbidden see the third one is tasteless tasteless talk what's tasteless talk talk about nothing talk about baseball talking about cars talking about just things that are just bad behavior in general talking about girls things like that's tasteless what what are you talking about what what toilet what what good is going to come out of this conversation you going to have about girls about cars about politics what what's going to come out of it what you going to be a politician tomorrow what you going to be Donald Trump's assistant you think he cares about your opinion who cares about your opinion do something useful what difference it make if you like this car you don't like this car it's white it's black it's red the engine is 12 cylinders or 100 who cares who cares for the purpose of the world for the purpose of your life who cares about this conversation who cares how much money Derek jeta made who cares that is tasteless lowest form of conversation is talking about other people's life other people's money now if you're talking about other people's life to learn from it meaning you talking about talking about the life of the B you talk about the life of the life of rash you learn about their mid you learn about their sacrifices you learn about their okay you can learn something from there but to learn that Magic Johnson got aged 20 years ago and he's still alive somehow what are you going to learn from there all you going to learn is the system is corrupt and they really have the Cure of AIDS that's you what are you going to learn from that what are you going to learn from that well some people people have no very empty they usually talk mostly tast right it's nothing nothing you talk about nothing so if you if only you have to talk about is tasteless information that means that your brain is empty you have to fill it up with some wisdom you have to start filling up with something worthwhile can you use that talk to get close to someone use the talk to get close to someone then someone lik it Sports whatever yes then then it's the then it's the next form of conversation then it's worthwhile fourth fourth type of conversation is worthwhile conversation which is conversation that you're doing for the purpose of praising someone or of connecting to someone uh or even of the of of rebuking someone rebuking someone is not a pleasant it's not a pleasurable experience at least not for somebody that's doing it for the right reasons but if you're rebuking someone for the purpose of helping him if you're talking to them about for the purpose of connecting to them even if it's a about subject that's nonsense like sports but you want to get the kid to connect to you now this kid comes from a broken home ABA doesn't like him IMA is this everybody in school is this you yeah you want to connect to this kid you want to do cha you want him to come back to Yesa now you can't go to the kid 12 13 15 year old kid tell he who are you to tell me that first you got to tell them listen kid what do you like I like baseball okay let's talk to about baseball who cares if it doesn't matter to you why because you have to connect them first that's worthwhile talk that there's a to there's a purpose for it you're not talking about baseball because you like baseball and you really care that Derek Jeter hit the ball right or left or this one or that one some because you care about the sport it's a worthwhile purpose the purpose is to connect it to his kid's heart so he can befriend you and then listen to you that's worthwhile and then last but not Le least is permissible talk what's permissible talk business discussions or domestic issues meaning you have a business you have to run a business you have to talk about the economy if you're if it's related to your business you have to talk about products if it's relating to your business you have to talk about vendors if it's relating to your business you have to talk can't like you can't be a mute and run a business same thing with domestic issues sometimes you have to tell your wife listen what food do you want to get what's the budget for this month how was your day yes in reality you're conversation with your wife N9 out of 10 times is about something you're probably not even interested in or your conversation with the wife is going to be or the husband is going to be a you're not really interested in he's interested in sport you're interested in I don't know dresses but for the purpose and the sake of the relationship you have to have that that conversation it's necessary to build a connection so kazal says don't speak too much to the woman in a sense where don't speak too much nonsense where there's no point but doesn't say don't speak it says don't speak too much that's something have to understand now sometimes you have a situation where somebody usually a fool likes to talk so much that he doesn't let anybody else talk um am I he doesn't let anybody else talk so it's one time hey you want to have a seat do you have like two quarters at all way in the middle of a sh sorry um sometimes you have somebody that likes to talk likes to hear himself talk about any subject but is at a point where he's not really looking to develop relationships he's looking to just you know be on a stage he's not looking to help anyone he's looking to just get Fain on someone like that there was one time a story the uh says there was one time a uh conference where there was one person wouldn't let anybody else talk and then one guy at the table wanted to get him to stop the talking but he has to do it in a clever way so the guy talk talk talk talk talk talk talk and eventually he said you know one time I heard so and so say and the other guy said Liar Liar that's a lie you didn't hear it at all goes what why do you know I lied why you were there he goes no it's not possible that you heard anybody say something cuz you never let anybody talk that's that's understand so some people start a fire because they want to shut it offend burning the whole neighborhood happened so now so we have to understand when to talk when not to talk the next thing is it says so it says after we understand the significance of of talking and being quiet and so on he says okay if you're going to already talk if you're are going to talk let it be worthwhile talk let it not only be permissible talk but let it be worthwhile because he's saying here in the mishna it's not that you just giving a speech great you give a speech you give a thousand speeches what happened out of it did somebody do Chua did somebody improve their life because of it did something happen like what was the point what's the bottom line somebody leave the the the place with on is somebody late the next day somebody keep Shabbat did somebody get married did somebody have a kid what happened what's the point of your speech other than you making money what happened is there a point for your speech if someone doesn't consider this part of the M important they could be a speaker speaking 15,000 lectures in their life with not one purpose not one point not one reason for them not one contribution to the world all they cared about is being one of these scholarly looking people that today you know a lot of theim even if they're rabbis they all look like models they all you know they all groomed and this and the fruit and the tie is this and the tie is that and everybody's all everybody's like all groomed and they all speak a certain way and they all you know learn a certain way of speaking you have to say this you have to say that you have to say you know you have to order and you have to make make sure you mention the mishna you have to make sure this you have to make sure and sometimes they'll give you a certain sheet so you can follow it all nice and all great do it whatever you got to do if it works for you great they make PowerPoint presentations great what's the point something happened out of it did somebody do CH did somebody get did somebody not get divorced because of you something happened or everybody said oh what a good speaker that's it and they went home and they went to sleep and nothing happened are you looking to be an aristocrat or are you looking to help people because it's not the theory that's important it's not your ideas and your speaking skills and your sophisticated PowerPoint presentation and how you arrived at the climax of the conversation and how you broke down and you connected a bunch of complex issues and broke them down into a simple formula and made yourself look like you're a brilliant speaker and wow and wow wow who cares something happened what's the something happened some there's a result there's money there's something there like what's the point because if you don't consider this part of the mishna your whole Life's a waste of life everything's a waste whether you're a public speaker or you're private whether you're speaking to your kids to educate them or your wife to develop a relationship or your president of some organization if you don't consider this part of the mishna everything we just set up to this point is meaningless like all or nothing it's either you're going there to say words that are of value are you just wasting your time are you just Rook one said I don't speak because I have the power to speak very powerful Rabbi very big Rabbi says I don't speak because I have the power to speak I speak because I don't have the power to remain silent I see a bunch of Sinners I don't have it in me to let them continue sinning I love AEM too much I love Hashem too much to see all my brothers and sisters get themselves first class tickets to G by and all of these other major sins I speak because I don't have the power to see them go and destroy their life destroy their marriages destroy their kids destroy their everything this is one of the people that don't understand the that's required to do this to do K to do what M does to do what I try to do to do it this style specifically more so than any anything else not because anything else doesn't work or anything like that there's certain styles that work there's certain styles that don't work but this style when you're teaching people the entire T you're teaching them the nice things the not so nice things the and the you also gain yourself a lot of haters you get yourself a lot of people that don't necessarily like you but 50 hundredfold more people that love you and do chuva and convert and do everything good for every one hater you have thousands of people that love you and did CH and everything changed but who wants to get hater even if you have one hater I got one email this one guy hates me like I was Hitler and it makes me feel bad it makes me feel terrible like why does somebody hate me what did I do to you what I kill your parents I uh what I do to you you ha okay you don't like what I said but I said it I created it guy hates me but what keeps me going supporters thousands of people that oh great this that this say appreciate the Torah not me who cares about me me the point is to appreciate the Torah appreciate the truth the point being here is that you got when people but now the point being is people say you talk about all the time fear of hem fear of hem fear of hem why don't you talk about like they do in breast live why don't you talk about like you do in you know a why talk about like they do why talk about more advanced people is for more advanced people you teach both though you also teach us the only reason the only reason that I do this the only reason that ra mrai has been doing it for 22 years 23 years you're the only one the only reason we do this is because we love hem more than anything else in the world because there's no other benefit there's no money in it you don't get paid for lectures you given lectures for free you have once in a blue moon you get a donation the millionaire is going to build 15 bit KES before he sponsors 1,000 CDs it's not like you keep the CDs you give them out to people it's free it's like you keep the book book to you I have a collection of books you give him the books for free all the stuff cost money the millionaire is going to support $50,000 Hanukkah party before he gives you a $500 check to help you survive the month there's no money in it you don't charge money for lectures you have guys that uh wrote a book so they charge 15 $220,000 a lecture no one ever did cha from that guy's lecture but they're still going to pay him $115,000 for the lecture no one ever even got a from him but he's still going to pay him $115,000 for lecture you go from different places every day to give lectures for free not $1 you charge if somebody wants to donate they donate but you don't charge so there's no money yet on top of that you have a bunch of people that don't like you especially people that are supposed to be your friends like other rabbis what do they do instead of helping you they take your CDs they throw them in the garbage they argue in the lecture they argue with you in the middle of the lecture they get into you know debates with you for no reason they write letters about you publicly embarrass you meaning that the only benefit the only benefit of actually doing this is a connection to hasem because you love him that's it there's no other else yes it's nice to help people but it's not enough it's not enough why because the more people you help the more complainers you have also some people also ungrateful you help them do Chua you help them save their marriage their whole life improves everything is great somebody asked him oh who helped you do cha no I did it by myself they don't even give you the credit grateful for anything not that you're looking for credit but the point is somebody ask you a question who helped you do Chua say listen your maybe help you do CH help me do Chu whatever whoever helped you do Chua you did it by yourself well you were born a monkey and now all of a sudden you became a human by yourself you didn't know anything all of a sudden you discovered you didn't read a book you just got Enlightenment you gotes who influenced you or you have worse you have people you help them do CH and they go against you all of a sudden no no he doesn't know what he's talking about what do you mean he doesn't know what he's talking he helped you do chuba no no but I I already learn I know more than him now what do you mean know more than him you learning for 6 months in a Col you know more than him you learned for 20 years already what do you know what do you know that he doesn't know no no I listen to everything he has I listen to all of his lectures already I listen to everything I love it when people tell me oh yeah I listen to all of his lectures yeah you listen to 4,000 lectures do you listen to 200 lectures that I have 300 lectures whatever I have who listen to 300 lectures who listen to 500 lectures few few few and very few actually listen to many lectures I listen to everything come on no people are ungrateful many times or I have sometimes you have somebody you helped [Music] them in every way possible above and beyond I even have have a guy I got himine $1,000 High leveline cuz whatever he told me he didn't have any money so I got him a $1,000 got somebody to donate expensive so you can do every day as you would have it his financial condition started becoming better so you think okay listen you realize that I'm living on a miracle every single month maybe you should at least give part of the $1,000 back you don't need it anymore maybe you should sponsor a CD sponsor one CD $1 sponsor something do something For Heaven's Sake what I do he publish oh I just donated to this organization like the ones that you don't even know the ones that you don't know anything about that didn't help you do anything do anything for you you're giving them money but the ones that actually help you give you feeling for first time in your life you're not helping you're not giving nothing but that's that's it that's what it is so this my point My ultimate conclusions not that I'm everything is Fromm everything is from hasm you're not looking for favors from anybody you're not looking for anything from anybody the point I'm trying to tell you here is the only reason to do this this way only because you love hem meaning that I could tell you I can give you all the shim in the world of love AEM love hm love hasem hasm is so good for you look you have eyes hasm is so good to you you have ears hashm is so good for you he has wife he has kids you have this I give you all the reasons in the world to love hem but the best thing I could show you to make you see what loving asem is is by telling you how to get to that point what to do you know you have eyes I need to tell you you have eyes you know you have ears I need to tell you you have ears you know you have a wife you know you have a kid if you don't know enough to thank hem for that then you still need to work on you're still not at the level of AA you're not a level to learn about aatm loving hasem you're still on a level where you need to learn about but more more more than anything else you have to understand we don't teach because we don't want to teach we teach it because that's first grade level that's the beginning it's first grade second grade third grade fifth grade that's all of school it's like PhD you don't get there day one it just doesn't happen that way for the minorities right so now someone needs to ask themselves am I just talking and talking and talking and nothing's changing I'm talking to him blue in the face but you're still not keeping Shabbat I'm talking to a blue in the face but you still can't hold yourself as soon as there's food on the table you jump on it like a wolf I'm talking to him blue in the face but you still yell at your wife every day Scare the poor lady I got one guy pretends to be a sadik his wife every other day tells the tells the raban that he's torturing her he pretends to be a sadik to be he wears white like a she this that his wife she's scared for her life every day sadik ising what are you doing learn to be a human being first learn to be a human being so if I'm not if you're coming to my seers you're watching my lectures and you're still that way I'm failing but if you're not watching the lectures you're not coming to the lectures you're not listening to the advice that I give you I tell you to come you don't come I tell you to do you don't do what else you want me to do what else you want me to do beat you up what do you want me to do so that's what you have to listen understand as a speaker as a person if you're going to teach your kids if you keep telling your kids something and they still not listening to you there's something wrong with you not them if you keep telling your wife something and she's still not doing it there's something wrong with you she's not doing it because she doesn't want to do it because of you she doesn't want to do it not because of her you're not giving her a reason to do it you're not giving him a reason to do it he doesn't want to do CH because he doesn't see a reason give him a reason if you keep saying something and nothing changes there's something wrong my friend hashm is telling you something's wrong something's wrong with what you're doing so you have to understand don't just talk talk talk about theories about theories about theories importance is action something has to come out of it something has to come out of it somebody at the end of the big lecture has to put on somebody at the end of the lecture say I'm going to put I'm going to keep Shabbat some something has to happen if you finish the lecture 15,000 people not one person is doing anything about it you should give a refund wasting words and last but not least we finish year says one who talks excessively brings on sin when somebody is talking and talking and talking but there's really no point there's no point for what they're saying it's only a matter of time before their idle talk their talk that's like meaningless that's low quality where the rambam uh called it tasteless it's only a matter of time before this tasteless conversation turns into forbidden conversation it's only a matter of time before you turn this talk about other people's money and to talk about jealousy and to talk about envy and to talk about things you're not allowed to talk about oh yo you remember that guy's house he just built a new house where did he get the money from oh maybe he did this maybe he did that maybe this maybe then you start then so you're talk about some baseball players money that's tasteless talk eventually culminated and became about your next door neighbor building himself a castle MH what is your business what do you care you build a castle why is he stealing money from your bank what do you care if he builds a castle or not what do you care if he has a brand new car she be happy for well you're the only one that deserves it she some people with key new car with the jealous neighbors so ultimately a person needs to understand they need to make sure they use their words very very carefully they don't get to a point where they're sinning they don't get to a point where all their words are meaningless and if someone really really wants to do the will of hem they're going to study an enormous amount of Torah and get to a point where the only thing they think about or talk about is T oh you see this week's that happened oh you see in this Mish that happen you see this Al what does it say you see this your mind starts to work in a certain way where the only thing you're talking about interested about thinking about is T is the will of hem and about that they said in the one sharp pepper is sharper than a basket full of melons Raba was comparing who was Anora to all the were bigger than him were before him so we go based on you know and the meaning that you can't if the T says this is the the can't say he's wrong he has to figure out how the T got to his point you can't say he's wrong you're never going to I can never override somebody that came before me rule so now but they're saying here that was such a high level that he out with the T before him it's contradicting saying that he's one sharp pepper is sharper than a basket full of melons so what are they saying really here is saying the way that Shu explained and broke down his argument was sharp to the point you can't go against it whereas the ones before him specific ones not all of them obviously specific ones that argued before it didn't explain it as sharply it was more vague it was debatable it wasn't like as good so Tim is a little guy it's like a little pepper but that little pepper is much much more spicy then even if you have a whole room full of watermelon cuz watermelon is never going to be spicy doesn't matter if you have one or you have two or you have a thousand it's still going to be sweet his little pepper is going to cause all the accidents why because he's connected he's glued he's zealous you can have all these big rabbis in the world and I always tell everybody something I don't understand to this day every day it's amazing to me that people listen to my shoing it's amazing to me I don't know how I don't know listen I don't know what kind of I have that people listen to my sh do CH all that stuff it's amazing to me and this guy that's a Ben Tora told me goes why is it so surprising you learn to you say I'm like yeah a bunch of people know a lot more to than I do people go to Yesa for 20 years 25 years 50 years a million years their whole life they eating in Yesa why a few years ago what's what's how is it that I'm teaching and I'm getting a result and this guy is teaching 25 years now one guy Thea they teaching the truth point is he says he said this says one sharp pepper it's much spicier than a basket full of melons if the guy is telling you all the nice things listen you're a sad you're great everything is mellow everything is good we don't really want the mashia to come we're already happy in America we're already happy look at my business I have my Shool I have this I have that everybody's comfortable everybody's great everybody's wonderful let's have everybody over Shabbat let's have everybody over for the let's have the seminar a couple times a year let's get away for PES everyone's comfortable everybody's great go that guy he's not helping anybody but himself little sharp pepper tells everybody the truth anger is a wig you have a serious problem I wish y you telling he's little sharp pepper you don't know you're not you're not nothing you're actually saying what the whole Torah says says that little pepper is going to be a lot sharper that little pepper is going to be a lot sharper so now how do you get to to we'll finish with this last Point how do you get to the point of getting chapter 2 the first six verses gives us mamash an instruction set he [Music] says says my child if you accept my words and treasure my Commandments with yourself to make your ears attentive to wisdom incline your heart to understanding for only if you call out to understanding and give forth your voice to discernment so first he's telling you you want to have a relationship with me you want me to give you T first and foremost you have two years mouth listen at least double the amount that you speak following with this Mish of knowing when to be quiet sometimes you have people come to sh not because they want to listen to the sh but they want to bother the guy and tell them how much they know they come to the and every two seconds yes but you know okay but it has nothing to do with the what you're saying oh okay great 5 minutes L yeah but you know okay okay great but that also doesn't have anything to do with the and he just came came to the sh just to show everybody else that he also knows cuz no no no you want Torah you want wisdom first and foremost do what I say fulfill the work on your mid and listen double the amount of time that you hear that you um speak be attentive to wisdom you come to come to listen don't come to speak next thing is says if you seek it as if it was silver if you search for it as if it were Hidden Treasures then you will understand the fear of hem and discover the knowledge of God he says you want to you have to understand T is the biggest treasure there is unfortunately most people don't know it they just think it's a book they just think it's nice they just think it's interesting but they don't think it's the answer to everything they don't think it's the treasure above all Treasures CU you want to have a life where all you're thinking about is T all you're talking about is T where every word of your that comes out of your mouth creates life instead of killing you every word that comes out of your mouth is aah instead of a you have to earn Torah how do you earn Torah you earn it by searching for it and working for it like it's money you working 100 hours a day to become a millionaire work 200 hours to get to you study five years to become a doctor study 10 years to be a or at least an ounce of a you're doing working day and night not sleeping in just because you want to win this do this get this contract get that contract no less if it's to treat your Torah like it's business like it's money Chase it like you chase money Chase it like it's the biggest treasure in the world because in reality unlike money where you finally arrive to having a lot of money you realize it's not really worth that much with Torah you'll see it really is the treasure now if I didn't have money and I told you this it's ah what do you know about money but I can tell you from experience I had a bunch of money and finally when I arrived at all this money I realized it's all worthless it's all nonsense it's all waste it's all headaches it's all fake but when I arrived at Torah from the minute I discovered what Torah was I already knew it was sweet when finally I'm starting to get to a point where I'm starting to learn a few things this is the treasure it won't disappoint that's what is telling you here for hem grants wisdom from his mouth come knowledge if you really want Torah Chase it like it's money Chase it like it's treasure work for it but in reality hasem will give it to you it's not because you eventually became smart because of your work it's that you eventually became a because says Ah you wanted bad enough I'm going press the button and put it in you I'll put the Torah in you all of a sudden you understand the all of a sudden you understand what it meant all of a sudden you are the little P pill you are the little pepper that makes all the Watermelons around that's doing nothing for 25 years you're making them question themselves it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense but it makes all the sense in the world CU any questions we'll have a tomorrow in New York so in a few hours after go to New York have a big sh tomorrow be a lot of people said bathroom [Music] [Applause] [Music]