Turning Anxiety into Power: Yisroel Wahl’s Surprising Take

a lot of people struggle with anxiety and the reason they struggle with anxiety is not because they have anxiety having anxiety is something everybody has it's a gift that Hashem gave us so that we can be protected in the right times the reason we struggle with anxiety is because it sometimes gets out of hand the answers don't really exist in the way that some people think they do in other words if you have strep you go to the doctor you expect you're going to get antibiotics and then you're going to get better when it comes to mental health a lot of times people that same idea which is I'm going to go to therapy as if therapy is like a thing and then I'll get better on some level we all struggle from anxiety right on some level anxiety is part of life for the first minute when the fire alarm and your house goes off by mistake for the first minute you're okay with it you're like oh it's going to shut but after it goes 2 3 4 5 10 you're like it becomes overwhelming you really start going crazy and that's what happens with anxiety when you have that alarm for way too long it really overtakes your life if something's uncomfortable the body goes and makes you uncomfortable so you stay away from that discomfort so you don't do things that are dangerous which make you feel uncomfortable then you don't end up dead yeah that's the whole thing he isn't to fix it yeah the key is to stop making it bigger than it is I'm a believer that if something can help you then go take the help I love that line [Music] welcome to another episode of positivity today I have here my good friend Rabbi W and we've done a podcast in the past it was a little bit before I had this like setup and the positivity and the reason we're doing this podcast is because so many people asked me after I released the podcast can you please send me this anxiety P podcast and what I had the the the awareness that I had is that a lot of people struggle with anxiety and the reason they struggle with anxiety is not because they have anxiety having anxiety is something everybody has it's a gift that Hashem gave us so that we can be protected in the right times I hope I'm doing it correctly so you're going to elaborate on that but the reason we struggle with anxiety is because it sometimes gets out of hand we don't believe in Hashem we don't trust the process our anxiety is overwhelming the alarms are going off way too hard too strong um and that's where an anxiety expert comes into place that's where we need somebody like rebis that can teach us and tell us from his experience in school from his experience with people from his experience as being a what our anxiety where does it come from what does it mean when is it a good thing when is it a bad thing when when when should somebody go for help so I'm very happy that he's here today I also want to say guys a reminder please like the video share subscribe be a part of the community I love all of your feedback so thank you very much I have this podcast just to be able to share somebody said a comment today and just I just have to say this u i saw a comment somebody wrote on a website where the podcast was posted and I was very happy to see that my podcast gets a lot more views than all the other podcasts out there so was a big compliment but somebody wrote over there who do you think you are you schmu you know you're somebody that's not even Su you were not successful in Yeshiva and now you think that you can talk and it hit home cuz he is so right I did not do well in Isa and I'm just a schmu that tries to talk and bring awareness so thank you to whoever wrote that comment and to all the haters I'm here you give me the fuel and to all the people that love on me I appreciate it I appreciate your support so without further Ado help me welcome y w how you doing the best there's not that many there aren't that many people that that say that right that are willing to like hey someone's gonna smash me no but but there's something amazing about this because the what happens is a lot of times we have our things that make us comfortable so like let's say I'm iniva and I'm successful in Isa that becomes like my space that like this is who I am so then I see someone else that goes out there that makes noise and then it's like this guy this guy's making noise so he's a somebody I thought I was a somebody but he didn't even do the things that I did so now I feel like uncomfortable because then maybe I'm not really such a good guy so I have to go attack the other guy it's a it's it's a crazy life because sometimes the things that keep us secure become our biggest our biggest they hold us the most in place wow because if I did something and it worked now I could sit and be like I'm okay because I did this wow and then when I see someone else that comes out and does something and he doesn't have what I have and he's successful he's making noise he's doing things people are looking at him and I'm like maybe I'm not such a good guy wow and comes in the way and that's yeah really really big idea but it's hard just be like anyway go thank you so much for saying that thank you that truly validated me and uh but it's a gift it's a gift and this power to keep on going is something that Hashem gave gave me really and what I noticed is in Rab Manus Freedman that was on the podcast a few uh weeks ago he helped me by explaining to me that do it for others not for you and you'll notice that all the fear Fades with you speak about anxiety this guy helped me a lot because there's no anxiety hate on me love on me talk about me it doesn't how does it affect me I'm doing my I'm doing my god-given talent and if I hold it in then then I'm just going to feel constipated they call it emotional constipation you know where you're keeping in something that has to be expressed so and ranus actually also helped me when it comes to anxiety because I was going on a date that same day and I have anxiety I tellan I'm freaking out and he said you're only having anxiety because you're afraid of this girl's is going to like you or not if you go to this date and you try to think about yourself and do you like this girl then the anxiety will go away so that was truly helpful I was still a little bit anxious because I felt myself in the depth of anxiety and I wasn't it wasn't just a surface anxiety but before we get into it Isel a lot of people love when the guest does like a little bit of an introduction so that they can notice that before they get into into the train with you for the next hour or hour and a half as long as it's going to take they won't understand who is talking to me so if you can elaborate a little bit your experience I me yeah um there's so much to talk about but I think I actually have a very big belief which may be going against some people but you know okay I don't think I think you're the right guy that goes goes down that road and and it's as follows the in the especially in the mental health world you know there's so many struggles and obviously we've heard about the tragedies recently and whatever it is and everyone's like this should I get help and how do I get help and where do I get help from and I'm very much a believer in one concept which is the answers don't really exist in the way that some people think they do in other words if you have strep you go to the doctor you expect you're going to get antibiotics yeah and then you're going to get better that's what you think in your mind I go to the doctor get antibiotics I get better when it comes to mental health a lot of times people have that same idea which is I'm going to go to therapy as if therapy is like a thing and then I'll get better and I think what people need to ask a lot more is if I'm struggling with X if I'm struggling with Y if I'm struggling with Z were there other people that went there and got helped instead of thinking that I'm going to go to this guy because because someone heard that he's a great guy at X we we we think that the answers are so clear that it's almost if this guy has the book then he'll help me w we need to be able to find out one question has there people been successful with this person or this woman this lady this man in this situation so that I could maybe they'll help me too but thinking that there's an answer of just going to a somebody I think ends up hurting a lot of people we don't have it that clear that we could look at a guy and be like oh I think I should listen to him because of this because of that gotta find out is has this worked for this person in this situation has it not and I think when it comes to anxiety for example anxiety is something that has been studied in many ways more than a lot of other other EMS emotions and and there are approaches that work right and like the thing that bothers me and we've spoken about this in the last podcast is there are too many people that are going for help for too long without seeing results that they really should be seeing and we have to be able to ask ask ourselves and I think that's more important than anything else is for people to just be able to say like is this working and like trust yourself a little more on like if this is actually working and not just believing in the guy or the person as like the answer and thinking a little more about myself and saying does this work for me right and and maybe that's not happening enough anxiety of all struggles has more clear-cut approaches to it right and we shouldn't think of anxiety as this all consuming kind of thing that I'm just stuck with and like oh maybe I'll hear another Insight maybe I'll hear another answer I really would love if people would just understand better like it doesn't have to be this way W but if I may Jump Right In because you had mentioned something really important on some level we all struggle from anxiety right on some level anxiety's part of life the mistake that we make is thinking that anxiety is supposed to be cured instead of realizing that the key to overcoming Anxiety is that anxiety will come and not overwhelming yeah so the key is not I what's my answer to anxiety as in like now I turned it off right the key is how do I have that anxiety or anxious thoughts will come and they just won't overwhelm me because like you said yeah anxiety is about there's supposed to be noise it's supposed to awaken you the idea of anxiety is something's off right now it doesn't mean it's right it could be it's coming up in cases where there isn't anything off but all that were supposed to do with that is just recognize oh something's going on is there actually an issue or is there not if there is I'll take care of it if there isn't I'll be fine because it's just another noise is it's an alarm Bell that says maybe something's off right and if we do that a little bit and shift from the perspective of anxiety how do I cure it to anxiety how do I just create a world where it doesn't move to a place it shouldn't would be a lot better off right does that make sense absolutely wow very very well said um I love I love what you said because anxiety is like you said it's it's simply an alarm and most people don't get it now the more you ignore that alarm the louder it gets you know what I'm saying like for the first minute when the fire alarm in your house goes off by mistake for the first minute you're okay with it you're like oh it's going to shut but after it goes two three four 5 10 you're like it becomes overwhelming you really start going crazy and that's what happens with anxiety when you have that alarm for way too long it really overtakes your life or or when it's there not in the right places right cuz when you're in sh and you're Ding and everybody's quiet and then suddenly the alarm goes off everybody's it's all crazy right but if it's in a noisy place and the alarm is then you don't even notice it so in our life the same thing anxiety when it's healthy and it's there that's okay but anxiety when it's not healthy when you're going for a regular shabas you're going away or when you're having a regular business meeting or you're having an average night at home and suddenly that alarm inside you goes off and you have anxiety that it really starts to hurt it really starts to block you in now you're afraid of going out and expanding or enjoying your life in the first place so um I I want to go into a little bit deeper to Define even anxiety in the first place so that alarm why isn't it set correctly for most people is it by default set correctly and it gets messed up or where do we uh go wrong it's a very very good question and I don't want to make this too complicated because I think we're we're going to like lose everyone but on a simple level the idea of anxiety is that there's a mechanism in our mind which tells us what we should focus on so for example if I'm driving because I can't sit straight and they'll probably notice after a while I can't straight so like before there was Zoom when I would deal with clients and they wanted to talk on the phone or whatever so I would get in my car and drive because like w I just can't straight okay then I'm driving I don't know where I'm going like I really I have no idea I could be in like I don't know I could end up in who knows where I don't know where I am I don't know the cars I'm passing by right any of that stuff but if the car in front of me hits the brakes I'm gonna all of a sudden forget everything and hit the brakes because your mind is yes like unconsciously even watching the road right and that's important right because if that wouldn't happen I'd be dead right okay and and to take it a step further if you're walking down the street and a car's coming you jump out of the way and I ask you why you jumped out of the way you probably tell me because a car's coming but really you jumped out of the way before you even thought about if a car is coming right right so there's a mechanism always has to be there which says I have to get this person to watch out yeah right like cuz if we didn't have that we'd all be dead yeah right so like that's like the first sort of the primary step we wouldn't call that anxiety but there's a mechanism that tells us what to focus on but the how does the Mind know what to focus on okay so that's going to depend on what matters to me now what matters to me is going to be dependent on what I've experienced in life mhm right so if one person has experienced you know as you know we get into traumas and stuff when one person has experienced one thing as being as really difficult it's not because they understand it to be difficult just it's been a difficult experience so now when something comes up that has to do with that experience the mind will go so that I should stay away from right because if I didn't stay away from it I'll be dead right right and I can't be thinking about is it dangerous is it not because by the time I figure that out I may be dead already so the mind is is busy protecting me just to keep me safe just to keep me alive the biggest issue that we have with anxiety is that when those thoughts come instead of them being a alarm Bell that says My Mind Is Telling Me something's here it becomes oh my gosh something terrible is going to happen right so it it moves into the danger of being real yeah versus moving into the place of my mind is trying to protect me from something if I can just recognize what that is and recognize this feeling as my mind just sending me a message yeah that's when things start being able to lessen because now it's no longer about something terrible is happening but I'm really okay instead it becomes oh there's a message that's it nothing more wow wow you wow this is why you're special I love what you just said like it becomes the message it doesn't become the overwhelm it doesn't become the nothing because you you want it to protect you you don't want it to overwhelm you keep it as a message I love it it's you know I I'll share something about myself I'm still I'm young I'm 26 and the only ways that I've lived my life is either through ignorance and the world says ignorance is bliss and I understand why you don't feel any anything I remember being a b in Yesa I was in Israel we did the craziest stupidest dumbest thing you know went for three days without sleep or went to the you know the most dangerous places and we didn't I didn't feel any anxiety because I was in ignorance and ignorance is bliss and then I had these certain periods of times in my life where anxiety yes started showing up it was you know it got overwhelming and then I lived in a high state of anxiety and then I went back again to a little bit of ignorance then I got back to anxiety and now I feel like I'm in a place where literally what you describe it anxiety became a message and it's not easy but I'm not in an ignorant place and I'm not in a in a place where I'm not ignorant about anxiety and I'm not heightened with anxiety it doesn't stop it doesn't stop my life but I'm in a place where I can truly notice the the messages that anxiety gives me um and even though I really sometimes don't like it and it I feel like it stops me but I feel like I'm noticing the messages literally what you said so thank you I want to also know how does anxiety tie in to our childhood because I understand that many of these anxieties and I know for myself certain things that I struggle certain areas where I don't feel comfortable literally has like you said the brain got programmed but on an early stage that this is trouble for me it's let's say even like not being with my parents is trouble cuz they really they they love being with me so if ever I would go away for even shabas with my school they would be like they'll tell me a 100 times we're going to miss you like instead of telling me just have fun go out there you know and one time we're going to miss you so it made me feel like oh my God like I'm you know I'm having fun but I'm still missing out on them and for me now to go away for shabas is still a little bit of a struggle because my body goes into that oh you're not being with your parents something might be wrong and so is with other things for some people it's going on rides for some people it's driving in a car they have anxiety kicks in so two questions a how much does the childhood affect when it comes to anxiety B how do we reprogram that child good questions okay all your very good questions so again we're oversimplifying things here and and and everyone bear with me on that and and the professionals out there I get it we are but we have no other choice if we're going to get too complicated it's not going to help anyone absolutely but on a on a on a fundamental level right there's always a little variances but a fundamental level if we look at anxiety as my body protecting me right and then it becoming a cycle over time yeah the the childhood would be a perfect example right because like children may be born with certain natural tendencies to fall into different levels but babies aren't born with anxiety that's not a thing you're not born anxious that's not you might be born more more um rigid which can lend itself look like anxiety right but you're not born with anxiety it's not I mean as far as we know right so what happens what often happen is the body doesn't cognitively understand danger so it's not like it thinks to itself if I'm not with my P this is like so important because many many people get this wrong it doesn't think to itself if I'm with my parents I'm safe if I'm not I'm not safe and therefore be careful and there a lot of books a lot of stuff that write like that it's not true that's not how it works rather what happens is it's just an automatic reaction this felt comfortable versus that not feeling comfortable you're freaking me out because that means you can't really can't think your way out of anxiety yeah I mean because it's like on a deeper level as you're saying it's like programmed it's already programmed in me you know how you know you that's where inner child comes in because my inner child will freak out it can freak out if I go away for shabas because like you said it's not something it's not in the mind I I actually sorry for interrupting you just amazed me yeah because this actually is is is so fundamental that like so many of us get us wrong and to me it's fascinating everyone talks about trying to tell themselves validating yeah no but what you said is validating because that means that they're not at fault that's not their their brain that's at fault yeah yeah I mean whoa there's so much here hold on one second let's take one step back most people seem to think that anxiety Works in sort of like a cognitive way and what's amazing about that is is that if you ever tell yourself not to be nervous it never once worked and yet you keep on doing it yeah right I always tell people like someone like they're so nervous like don't be nervous it's okay yeah it's like when did that work yeah never right yeah but yet we still somehow think that we could rationalize our way out of anxiety and I could talk about why we do but let's just take a step back to understand this anxiety Works through the body's automatic response to what felt uncomfortable in the past not what was understood as danger not a cognitive thing not something that I realized is dangerous but something that felt uncomfortable cuz the only way the body knows what's dangerous is whether it felt uncomfortable it doesn't actually know this is dangerous it just knows this felt uncomfortable because Danger feels uncomfortable shm made this amazing thing which says how do I protect someone from danger I have a basic system it's really at its chord it's very basic which is if something's uncomfortable the body goes and makes you uncomfortable so you stay away from that discomfort so you don't do things that are dangerous which make you feel uncomfortable and you don't end up dead yeah that's the whole thing so we do something in the past it felt uncomfortable so the body now creat created a feeling that's uncomfortable about it that discomfort caused more discomfort yeah which furthered that idea so then I did something to make myself feel better like for example I called my parents a hundred times which told my body which got my body used this idea that this is really a big deal so next time I came up I felt worse and then it spirals the key is not about rationalizing your way out of it okay there's so much to say about this but the key is not about rationalizing way out the key is being able to recognize the message being okay with the message being there and that's it that's it so when you look at someone who's not anxious versus someone who is anxious the difference isn't that the person who is anxious has anxious thoughts versus the person who isn't that thought never came through their mind that thought also came through their mind just never did anything never started that cycle so the key is to be able to move it back into a space where the cycle doesn't go because it's like yeah that's because of the stuff that I've experienced because of what I went through it feels uncomfortable right cool yeah that's that that that's the body doing what it's supposed imagine it didn't right and then what by the way right so that's am and then what go and do the thing I took the message but I'm still afraid now what this is so good I'll tell you why because this is the mistake that so many like with clients I'll hear this all the time okay you know what the real answer is do whatever you want if you don't want to do it don't do it no one have to do it the key just is you're able to take that message and then be able to to um to just be able to for it to be interpret interpreted in the correct way so that it doesn't become more than it is what you want to do has nothing to do with it right you you see one of our big mistakes with anxiety is trying to make it better the key isn't to make it better the key is to let it be right the more you could allow anxiety to be without it meaning more than it actually means the more you don't have to do anything to take it one step further and this is so critical people think that's you know we get anxious and then we look for some sort of certainty right like how do I convince myself that everything's okay but certainty is always a sign that something's off needing certainty is a sign that something off a healthy mind doesn't need certainty if you're driving on the highway for example right a healthy mind doesn't sit every moment like oh my gosh how do I know this car won't hit me even though you have no idea the amount of car accent I mean it's terrible what goes on right but a healthy mind doesn't sit and wonder oh my gosh how do I know that nothing bad will happen how do I make sure I feel okay that's because Hashem never made us in a world where we need certainty if we needed certainty we never grow the amount of businesses that stay stagnant amount of people that stay stagnant because I don't know if it's going to work well you don't need to know that's not how it works and that idea is so critical because often when we try to gain certainty that's what causeing anxiety to get worse because it makes this bigger deal in my mind and then I have to hold on tighter like this is going to make me feel safe so I hold on even Tighter and Tighter and Tighter and Tighter and if I would instead be able to let go and just be able to be okay with the idea that there was a message I wouldn't need any of that right I I just learned tremendously first of all anxiety is a message and you don't have to take action on it you just have to allow it to be there um regarding certainty I heard this from Tony Robbins he said the two the first thing that people need in their life is certainty the second thing that they need in their life is uncertainty this is need a fair amount of uncertainty but another thing that I love what you said about trying to solve the solution how wrong that is trying to solve your anxiety how wrong that is and I read this in the Power of Now by eatali which is my favorite author my favorite book he said that you can't he said imagine you're trying to to get the criminal in town you're trying to catch the criminal in the town all need to notice that the criminal is the sheriff it's impossible you can't you can't now catch this this criminal so the same thing with anxiety imagine you try to solve anxiety with your mind it's impossible because the same mind that created a problem can't solve the problem and now you explained it even better because anxiety is not even in the mind right but essentially you're taking a feeling a response that your body is having to something and you're overanalyzing it for no good reason Mak it into something that never was yeah yeah for real like and this is why the key is the exact opposite of what people think the key isn't to fix it the key is to stop making it bigger than it is because when you're able to allow it to be what it is you your body by itself starts integrating right this is do with trauma and all that kind of stuff as well but we we are the concept is you want to be able to integrate not solve integration happens when the message stops being more than it is so the body could just be like oh that's a message cool instead of being like Oh my gosh a fire's coming how do I solve it because if a fire is actually coming you should be scared right right yeah if if there actually is a fire and you're not scared something's wrong right right so like you're busy already taking it to mean a fire and now trying to prove to yourself that there's no fire instead of being able to be like there never was a fire it just was an alarm that was telling me that there was something bothered me yeah okay right so my next question is for many mothers that listen this 40% of our listeners by the way of my listeners are female so I'm assuming that a lot of them are mothers of children and you mentioned that we're not born with anxiety but we clearly know that there are kids with anxiety they're bugging I can see it a little bit even for my seven-year-old brother he can sometimes be worried you know if the house is not full he's like who's staying with me who's here so so I guess two-part question how do we prevent a kid from going into anxiety and once they have anxiety how do we treat it for a kid what do we tell this kid do we ensure safety do we tell them stop bugging I don't think that's the right way but um what do we do with a kid that has anxiety how do we even identify anxiety for a kid yeah I mean it's a great question obviously a broad question that's a little bit difficult to answer on one leg but to to go back to our fundamental concept which we're working off of one of the best things we could do for our kids yeah is to be able to get them to become comfortable with this concept that means the idea is that you feel uncomfortable this isn't even specific to anxiety you feel uncomfortable and that's okay like even for a 5-year-old six-year-old to tell him that it's okay to be worried that he's going on a trip this week you have to normalize the idea that they're having a concern so that we don't have to go so far as to answer the concern so that's a great example a child that's afraid of a trip yeah right so they're like but I'm going to go on this trip and and Mommy what's going to to be maybe my counselor's going to leave me in the park right what's our response your counselor would never do such a thing right so now we're taking this we're saying oh there's a valid concern but now you could feel better yeah because your counselor won't do it instead of yeah sometimes we feel like that anyway because like you really don't want them to leave them but it really validating versus dis validating well it's validating versus dis valid but it's also about validating the idea of being concerned uh right so like the fact that you're concerned doesn't have to mean that now I need to go do who knows what so there's a lot about creating safety for our children which means a situation of safety and an environment of safety an environment of acceptance and that's its own world and and that that must be done but sometimes we do that to the point where we ruin it because now we're trying to use that safety as a means to take away from the problem that never existed instead of being able to be like yes sometimes it feels like that wow and that's all right and how do we work on this child that we feel maybe has too much anxiety or something yeah that's harder to answer on on a on on one like on a on a podcast what would be a healthy one healthy approach we want to make sure that we don't fix so much as to create more problems and we don't change the situation from what it is so basically when a child's anxious we don't want to come in and be able to solve all their issues because we often will raise the anxiety level without realizing because we're making all this into a big deal and you need mommy you need daddy you need tati to come in and and take care and instead we want to be able to be that support but be that support in a calming way of it is okay and I know you're nervous and it's okay that you feel nervous and I'm there for you instead of trying to create again this cycle of certainty and creating this assuredness because very often it's counter productive and parents are trying everything they can and they feel so bad for their child who's suffering right but sometimes we can unfortunately make it worse by now over worrying worrying about it making them feel unsafe yeah like why you worrying so much why you worrying so much or like it really you don't have to worry cuz look here's a phone you could always call me and and you know what's crazy because you know you know what's crazy about this cuz the mind is smarter than that yeah right like if what happens is I'm nervous about something and then you tell me why I shouldn't be nervous I'm going to cover reason why it's really still a problem right or take someone's really nervous right like I don't I'm gonna speak there I'm G to go to this event and no one's going to look at me and you're like no you're such a friendly guy yeah but one time I was at an event and yeah but that event was different but how do you right so when we go down that road the mind just comes up with new reasons because what was really happening was discomfort and we then took that discomfort to mean there's a problem so now you're telling me there isn't a problem but I still feel uncomfortable so it must be something else is going to go wrong instead of yeah you feel uncomfortable right wow the way you speak about anxiety so is so like it really makes me feel okay with all of it like I it it it used to feel like such a monster and even just in the 30 minutes that we're sitting here so far I'm starting to be so okay with it like because it's not scary and it's not chronic and it meaning it doesn't have to be chronic um my my next question is so when does one know if they need they if they have the healthy amount of anxiety and they should just take it as a message or if it got out of hand and now they need help so I'm a big believer in the idea that that we get help if it helps us and we don't get help if it doesn't help us and there's no such thing as going to therapy for the sake of going to therapy because that sometimes ends up with issues as well yeah if you have someone who could help you yeah why wouldn't you get help right the there's no answer that says oh right this is where you need it this way you don't you're suffering you want to by the way you're amazing really amazing I I love that I want to apply that to therapy okay because I my last uh podcast was with a therapist and I feel like this is so valid what you just said this one line I'm a believer that if something can help you then go take the help I love that line because that's really therapy if you if you can get help why not get help yeah and I think we do a dis service when we take it too far right because there are definitely times where people are going for help and this is where it gets this complicated and unfortunately there you know it definitely exists which I do it is I'm not going to lie there exists a significant issue of people going for help and then nothing ever is getting solved and they go for help because they go and they feel good and they feel validated and understood that's not what therapy should be right therapy is really really good it can completely change your life therapy isn't I feel so bad for you therapy should be a means to make things better absolutely right like you wouldn't go to a doctor that would just be like right you're go to a doctor because you expect that the doctor can get to a point where they could hear you now there are chronic conditions that sometimes someone go to a doctor and all could do is give painkillers I'm not I'm not against that there are people are suffering tremendously and therapy is awesome because it just gives them a little more security I'm not taking that away but the primary objective the primary objective is I have something that I want to get better this person can help and make it better wow wow I'm blown away and I feel like a different person already because honestly and I admit it openly on my podcast I I struggle I still struggle with anxiety and in this short conversation which is probably a conversation that I'll Replay for myself just to hear the concepts and ideas that you have is going to help me tremendously cuz cuz I don't feel like I struggle anymore I feel like it's just there and it's a message yeah you got you're going to have to work on it again because it's going to come up differently but but I want to say something on this it's going to come up again because it's that's how your body's used to it that doesn't mean something's wrong right but I've seen in the last few weeks how I became a little bit more comfortable in in to me the story where it started where it originated a year ago it was this time of the year um schnitzler has passed away and there was a couple of things that were happening in my in my life uh becoming Super Famous um I you know I dated and it didn't work out um you know one of my close relative wasn't feeling so well close friend like a lot of things that pack on on top of each other stacked up into a huge anxiety bubble and that's where I started going consistently to therapy um and I'm still in therapy and the reason I chose to be in therapies because I think it's healthy for me to speak to someone at least right now I'm not married not in a relationship although I'm open to it but I'm it's just healthy for me to talk and the consistency that I had with this heish therapist that is amazing taught me that it's okay to be me literally the things that you're saying it's okay to be me in whatever I feel or do and it you know what for the first time it started playing into my head like it's okay it's okay and it gave me so much confidence that it's okay to be version of me that I am and I just I just love it so that's truly truly where it helped me um my next question to you is where do you find that what tools do you give to your clients somebody's coming to you they have this and this anxiety what are some tools that can help an average person average listener listening right now that they can Implement to actually honestly I'm not a huge believer not a I shouldn't say it that way tools can be great okay but sometimes they then become just tools when the goal is that I shouldn't need tools right okay so like what I would much rather is you're only using tools on a broken car right right and the car is not broken could you imagine a guy that driving his car with those screwdrive you know like the old old time right and he's like driving and you're like dude there's a key right and and I think so often we do that in life we're like we're like I found a means to make things things work and it's like you never even needed that and I think you were just talking about that because you were saying like I never felt I didn't always feel okay to be me so what did you end up doing you found a way to act right you found because when you did it that way then you felt okay and it's like dude you didn't need it yeah you're just fine right you know it's like made me this way like no it's not okay like real I'm supposed to be different like who are you complaining about yeah AB no you didn't do a good job he messed you up no we're supposed to be us what happens is we we try forcing ourselves into Tiny Bubbles right it's like I'm going to make sure I act a certain way right because then instead of like how do I use my strengths to make it work how do I find a way so I think the problem with tools a lot of times is um that they then just become those screwdrivers so I think much more than a tool is the more we're able to recognize like feel that discomfort when it comes up and recognize what it is yeah when you can do that without trying to make it better you're not you're not saying oh this is a message therefore I should do it anyway you're saying this is a message if I don't want to do it because you don't feel up to it don't do it it has nothing to do with this you you you shouldn't be the one curing your anxiety you should let anxiety just dissipate right right so when we take tools a seat at the table Yeah like and and let it let it fall away my my therapist always says like oh so anxiety showed up very nice did you give him a chair did you uh make him comfortable what did he say yeah you know right cuz like we just made it right so like it's like oh that's what it is just use thatp so much more than you'll get than than than um than than using tools now that now that tools are so maybe give me some healthy practices what do you think is all because I know for sure let's say looking at the news every day is not good for yeah you know it's interesting when it comes to the news you know I found myself doing this with the tragedy that we recently we just went through and it hit me because like clients are struggling with it and especially people who are going through mental illness or people have gone through grief it it really it was really really tough I had that moment where it hit me I was like oh my God like this can happen can this happen to me and I'm I'm glad how quick it it passed maybe we should talk about that in a minute about that kind for a second but just first which is I found even myself like okay so what happened let me check again and as I'm checking again I feel myself tensing up but I do it anyway wow right and it's like we have we want to be able to notice the things that are just not helpful I once was talking to a really successful doctor and I asked him about the elections and he looked at me he's like I don't know I don't really look at the news I do so much more when I just focus on my work he's like a big doctor turn his work and he like and it's like and it hit me like and me like when I look at the news like am I making like nothing happens that's make anything better so there's so many things in our life that often just make things worse and we just drop it not because it's supposed to be some major thing just because why would you do why would we hurt ourselves we're crazy like that right right by the way regarding I'm going to talk about this quickly because this tragedy though that all of us feel has gone through there there there's a really important concept I just want to mention really quickly because it's connected to anxiety the reason why these kind of things affect us so much is because they mess up our sense of equilibrium so what that means is I have a view of the world that I feel okay with then I have a situation that's so abnormal that it becomes like oh but like maybe now it's like my world view has to change because it has to take this situation in yeah and then people are like and I from a lot of woman like whatever it might be like I was in a dark place like oh my I may have done that maybe I would have been someone that do did that to my kids and the answer to that is these stories don't generally happen that's why it's so traumatizing ah right the reason why it's traumatizing is because it doesn't happen not because all of a sudden it will we want to be able to realize that like no a lot of people have get into Dark Places a smaller group of them get into a place where they're actually suicidal and suicidal into a space of where it becomes a specific spe ific plan and then there's the group that act on it and all those kind of things there's a lot of levels there's a lot of levels but the reason why this is so traumatizing is because we haven't heard these stories happen in our community CU they don't happen not because all of a sudden now they do happen right right so sometimes we do that with trauma kind of stuff where something terrible will happen but we want to be able to just put it in its proper place this isn't the norm yeah this is outside the norm let me keep it as outside the norm not have to take my stress and now all of a sudden make it real until the point where something like this will happen right I love I love what you just said and and to say that the next day a therapist messaged me CU I put a status and I said let's just love one another and I didn't have an input so he told me n Neurosis doesn't cause psychosis which means that a neurological problem in the brain like anxiety fear stuff that the average person gets message is from doesn't cause for a person to go crazy right which is which is what unfortunately happened right and we really really don't want to this this is just this m alone is so important for real people to realize you may have gone through a lot of stuff not the same thing as psychosis it's just not yeah don't worry that because of your anxiety you're going to turn crazy it doesn't work that way it doesn't work way anxiety can hurt a lot but it doesn't uh that doesn't mean there aren't thisis doesn't exist I'm not I know I'm not saying that doesn't exist but but it's not the thing that you know it's it's it's not the same thing as being anxious or even being depressed yeah it's it's a different kind of right now something that I learned about anxiety is so called hold on a couple of healthy practices that somebody can put into their I'm a big believer in in a lot in in the whole mindfulness world to be honest like I think we all better youate yeah we would all be better if we could be a little bit just just staying in that mindful state I think the problem sometimes with mindfulness is people take it as a again as a tool instead of a place of just going back to your core self right the key like the best mindfulness is just moving back because your body might have got like really tense and you might have just gotten like like oh it's like muscles your muscles get tense for like your your body you've gone through stuff and and you've been ret traumatized and you've been triggered throughout the day just like Let It settle this is all okay these other the messages I recognize what it is that can go a very long way and that's just a really helpful practice moving away from things that you know just aren't good for you like there are a lot of things in our life that we know aren't good and we just keep on doing because like on some level it makes us feel for the exact moment for that moment it feels okay but like it hurts right like we want to just like go with that so taking breaks from news from stuff like could we all just notice a little more of the stuff that we know aren't healthy for us absolutely you don't need me for that you all know deep down that doesn't help me right so take a deep breath try to cut out some of that stuff in your life we'll go a long way amazing um I one of the things that helped me with anxiety is learning that anxiety and excitement are literally the same feeling so you can literally go on a roller coaster and you you have two people sitting in that front seat right one guy is sweating and shaking and um you know all hyped up both guys in the front are sweating and shaking and and uh hard beating and one guy is having this reaction from anxiety he's afraid the other person is having this reaction from excitement he is so excited that he's going that he's literally sweating and his heart is beating fast and because he's so excited so anxiety the feeling is technically the same me get really nuanced it gets a little complicated because is it true is it not true I mean it's it's it's a bit complicated there are similar reactions that the body might have and sometimes it could be worked through this is gonna get too complex we're gonna bore everyone I'm gonna leave that one but okay because there there are different reactions to different stimula and the way they come into our mind and the way they're incorporating our mind the way our mind experiences them and this where it gets like now I'm Tech my mind is going to the word like chemical imbalance which is what a lot of people struggle and and medication comes in like that so should we go there if you want as long as we can chical balance was never really a Theory the way that people make it out to be it just wasn't the thing that way okay what that means is is that when medication started coming out and started working so the theory that came out is like oh there was an imbalance in the mind and then I brought the the Mind back to its it balance because I gave him a little bit of this or that it's not it's not really how works at all it's mostly of fallacy the the idea is that when someone's anxious especially anxiety depression that happens over a long time it can change stuff in the mind that now we can move with but the idea that there was like some sort of chemical imbalance and that's why that's real anxiety versus non-chemical imbalance not real that's not a thing it doesn't even exist and and part of the reason it's been accepted is because people felt that it removed a lot of the stigma in mental health so it made people more comfortable going for help oh wow so they just kept on buying into it but most of it's false not actually how work and medication I think works but it's just only for a certain amount of people and for a certain amount of time no one of these two things I mean the the idea of medication working on chemicals is true the serotonin intake it will allow the the the body to sort of take in the chemicals both but it allow those to sort of think about it like a flow of chemicals that that are going on in a healthy body and the the medications will allow or help better that flow to to go I think that might be the easiest way of looking at it but it didn't come because like oh there was a chemical imbalance and now I change the chemical imbalance if you take someone who's depressed you cause them to be depressed you will have that same sort of imbalance am I clear have that same St bance not like oh there was an imbalance and that's why they're depressed necessarily it's a correlation and one thing causes the next and that causes the other thing and it builds on each other so it's not so simple like oh there was a chemical imbalance and that's why it happened I hear you um uh what are some of the most common things that people are anxious about today's Days that's an interesting question yeah I'm I'm just thinking what the audience is think yeah I I don't I'm not sure because it really is so so personal like all of social anxieties kind of things all of anxiety over people getting sick all of anxiety over over you know I mean I I don't even know if I've seen like one specific thing I think when it comes to like OCD I'll often see it more connected to to Judaism because we find that OCD kind of connects to what's important to to any individual situation and anxiety kind of works similar like it's often like things that are more important to me but I really don't see it as one specific thing it really is very specific to that person um health anxiety was something that I experienced for a while and so I can relate to that health anxiety means when somebody's worried about their health they're afraid that their heart is going to stop beating they're going to have a heart attack or wherever they go for me it was always making sure that there's atula or a hospital or a doctor or going to the doctor multiple times thinking that I'm not healthy I find health anxiety to be a very popular anxiety like where does it come from and yeah it's very interesting because you know what the tricky thing about health anxiety is it fall it falls into the same pattern I remember working with a guy he he struggled with this a lot and we we worked on different things and he was doing well and then we you know he went on and then he called me back later and he said like um you know he's he just been hitting him he wants come back for an appointment I said sure and we we came back and um what was interesting was is that back to those same principles the idea of anxiety is that there's a message so for whatever reason these Health situations matter to me shockingly right so it matters to me so I feel uncomfortable right and then when I feel uncomfortable I do something about it wow which always makes it worse so what this person would tell me like I have this ache and it would be like yeah we all have aches right but if I I wonder if it's is very hard to get out of it because I feel that ache and it's like but I feel it but I feel it and what happened with this person was he was doing great until he decided that like I found some you know in the Boston whatever in the medical clinic over there he could do a full evaluation so he started going for that and guess what happens then then it becomes real again so instead of him being able to be like oh yeah that's that feeling it became oh maybe I'm sick and then he starts doing things which furthers the anxiety Absolut and he and he fell back so that's why I don't always love the whole the whole tools thing because sometimes it then becomes it's you're dealing with anxiety as if it's why did you tell this guy so we need to be able to go back to be able to recognize it for what it actually is which is just my body sending me a message because this matters to me and that's hard like I I want to be clear here like it can be tough this isn't to say like oh yeah just be like yeah it's just a message like it's hard because it feels so real right I noticed for myself the health anxiety like you said number one going to doctors was just enforcing it yeah so I ended up going six seven times to the doctor in in in two three months and and you never felt better by the way because every time like maybe he didn't know this correct and I and at some point I just stopped going by the way because I I read about I watched the YouTube video and they were like every time you go to the doctor you're enforcing your anxiety so I would sit literally some nights and really feel like I'm not okay and not healthy or weak or whatever and just allow that feeling to pass and tell myself I'm okay and we're not going to the doctor to reinforce that anxiety that's hard and that's why being able to recognize as the doctor for sure didn't help yeah the doctor you know who I went to you know PA Baron yeah okay so so he's you know him has a PA and he is here so he he I go into him and it was during Co it was Winter I had some variant of Co or something and I went to him three four times and he tells me um ask him what's wrong with me why do I feel so weak and what he tells me you have diarrhea I said Doctor I don't have diarrhea I was in the bathroom today two times healthy I'm I never have di I eat healthy tells me I tell you telling you you have diarrhea I said I'm telling you I eat healthy I'm okay my system is fine Noah diarhea in the brain so and that's that's what I learned but I also I love what you said cuz how do you deal with it you go back and what I noticed in my family is that unfortunately uh my own grandfather you know he struggled with with his health you know and my grandmother's also not young she's struggling with her health a little bit she you know she needs AIA shal um and all those stories from my childhood brought out of me to feel like I'm not safe we're not healthy my family is not healthy uh uh you know certain things that family history that happened and and even my mother would be like you know not intentionally but she would be like you know okay zidi had this and that and am I brain that anxiety was there to give me a message that hey let's work out this kind of issue that you have with health because it was something that happened back in the years so it kind of leads me to think that there's so many versions of anxiety and everybody's anxiety really Lings back to a story so ask yourself right now what are you afraid of and why are you afraid of think where do you think it might have came from like where was the start and and I'll have this with with by the way all the time so like I'll have a uh thinking about us whatever there's so many different clients different situations but like someone and they were like let's say you know it's a good example a woman she was say she was pregnant at one point time she didn't feel so well so she was in a situation and then in that environment she feel very dizzy yeah so guess what happens next time she walks there she's like oh my God right so like a lot of times these kind of things can reinforce itself and that's where things often start from and it's sad because the things that we do to make it better right often make it worse and and like it's no one's fault like going to the doctor right you're like I just want to feel better or you just reinforced it yeah and we're just trying to do our best right like I'm just trying to make it better and literally the things that I do to make it better often make it worse and that's what's like so tragic cuz like I'm trying so hard that's where help from a professional can be us because like we could be get you out of it yeah to see the pattern for for yourself yeah um um I'm thinking now that one of the biggest anxieties that people have is fear of the unknown I know I know for me like my mind does not like to go there some some people will make the argument that every anxiety is really fear of the unknown and although it might not be true to the fullest extent there's a lot of validity to it what we find is that people even who God forbid are in the situation where they he know someone's afraid they have cancer whatever it might be and they'll go to the doctor I literally have this myself I have some health conditions and oh this is a crazy story whatever but I remember that story if you want you can say it yeah it's a crazy story but I do yeah it's a but but let me say one part of the story at least which is that I I I had this thing and I was my my potassium was low and it was coming up on all the labs that it was low remember yeah and I didn't feel well the doctor calls me one day and he says um how you feeling cuz I I monitored I said to be honest doc like I'm not feeling great he's like yeah it kind of makes sense cuz your potassium is very low right potassium is very very delicate so like it's supposed to be about if I remember correctly like 3.5 or something like under three is is already like medication like 2.5 they already hospitalize you because your body was relying on your heart could stop working it's a pretty big deal potassium it's a pretty big deal so the first thing is they were looking and they were trying to figure out why and it was like I went to like had to go to this kidney doctor was it kidney or liver I don't even remember anyone but like I I still remember how like I went to the doctor and doctor's like listen there isn't like what what to do over here it's either like yeah I mean you would have to be on you know you would have to be on uh you have to get either a transplant a li transplant or go on a what's it called go on uh dialysis wow right liver KY I don't remember anymore right so and and when the doctor said to me like yeah that's that must be what's going on I literally felt calmer now it ended up being that wasn't the issue right but I felt calmer which was so weird to me but the argument goes that that when we don't know what to do our body now doesn't know what to do with it whereas when I have some idea of what it is then it's less scary because now the body knows what to do so in many ways the fear of the unknown is the greatest fear it's a crazy story because what happened was I was feeling really horrible like it almost now walking like my joints hurt and everything and I was going for this lab work and it kept them coming up bad and then we went from more work and we tried more pottassium and this and that and you know what ended up happening it was a lab mistake oh my God it was a lab mistake and and I felt horrible and people like yeah because you were convinced it's all in your head no you don't realize something all in your head is real it's real when something's all in your head it's real your body reacts to that absolutely it hurt because it hurt now where did that start from well one time it might start because you have low potassium one time it might start because you literally have the lab script that says your potassium is low and you can have very similar similar results so like if you feel you have a disease sometimes that actually can really affect you as well if you think it and you're afraid of it yeah it can really have a physical probably what happened in Co right I mean way too many people that whole world because it goes both ways with Co we're going to go off on a tangent here because it goes both ways a lot of times people were really scared of Co and their ways of dealing with it was being like it doesn't exist yeah right cuz that was like how they felt safe they had to like push it away and then there were people who who their way of dealing was making like a huge deal out of it the key like everything in life is that middle ground of being able to accept what is for what it is what isn't for what it isn't and just allow things to flow speaking about health anxiety I remember that was one of the conversations we had a fiery conversation you remember I was very I was young and ignorant and I was like yeah with the mind you can control everything but a little what you're saying now does prove that a positive mindset um and I'm saying it not in the in the context of of anxiety I'm saying it is because the anxiety is usually a message to which we give energy through our brain and we make it worse then for sure we can also make it better yeah and this is the part that we did agree on like and to be fair you got me at a rough time because I just lost my sister from cancer and you were like yeah we can just kill cancer think it right so I apologize I probably got a little more animated but to be fa by the original episode is on y walls podcast oh yeah it is so you can still listen to it it's on Spotify and it's called Uh a million dollar barrier million dooll barrier and then or you can just put in a Spotify Ellie Weber actually special edition yeah yeah yeah it's a special edition with Ellie Weber yeah we got a little heated on that but the part that we did agree on is this is what you're saying now which is yes a positive mindset really makes a big difference and I think the biggest proof of that is is what is anxiety in many ways is a negative mindset right yeah that doesn't mean you could change it by just being positive and that's where that's where people go too far with positivity becomes you see because positivity can become like something I hold on to also for that's what we were talking about with Co like I could be like it doesn't exist there's no issue I could do whatever I want and everything's fine because I'm going to be so positive right because I just I I can't deal with other but just being more optimistic is it just puts us in a better place which is Again part of the issue that we struggle so we become more negative which makes it worse it's like tragic you know how one thing absolutely um last question um what does because the name of the podcast is positivity so I always like to finish off with something positive how does one actually live off anxiety in a positive way meaning what does that re what does that look like living still with having healthy anxiety how does it protect one to live a positive life I I think we would even say it differently we would say that we're so stuck in anxiety that we forget we don't we can't live in that positive space when when anxiety is when you're able to like live with it for what it actually is the Mount that's possible I get all animated the amount that we humans can accomplish is mindboggling if only we would just get out of those constraints like if we're able to recognize yeah I feel uncomfortable I know what that is it's that message okay what do I want to do is similar to what you've been doing Ellie because like what are you doing you're like oh yeah okay but I want to do this and I want to accomplish this so I'll just do it and it's it's it's mindboggling the amount that we could accomplish if we would only just do it so busy trying to answer for things right like to make it right before I take the step instead of like yeah it feels uncomfortable probably you're saying the more you allow it into your life the more you will notice how it's here as a guide how it loves you like as I said anxiety is your friend literally yeah it's just you make it you took it to be something it isn't when it comes to the young children I talk about this concept with them I obviously can't talk about it this way but sometimes I'll talk about it you like the scary man or like the fireman we would think about it like a fireman knocks on the door right so he goes knock knock knock knock and if you don't answer cuz alarm went off and you have an alarm in your house that's faulty right so it's connected to the fire department so the fire department man comes you knock on the door if you don't answer he starts banging down the door but if you're just like oh yeah he came to cuz there was an alarm but it's okay then he comes in and leaves right that's you started originally with kids right yeah yeah yeah I work with so you find that kids really have anxiety do they have it more often more often than the adults I don't know if it's more often than adults I actually would would think the other wayse right but you can see how uh how it's mistreated because you treat kids you can see how their anxiety is so many times and it's just unfortunate because everyone means well everyone's trying to do their best this is where education becomes so important cuz like no one's trying to make mistakes every is just doing the best they can I got to ask this question um anxiety attack because people talk about it it's not the same as panic attack I mean although the anxiety attack can be a panic attack I've had it for myself I know what it feels like it feels an over Rush of emotions and there's nothing really that I can do besides breathe it in call maybe a good friend tell them what I'm going through until it passes but if somebody is feeling an anxiety attack um I had it actually sickest before I went to Israel it was the night before we traveled and I that's when I had an anxiety attack literally I was here in the back just walking back and forth I was so worried of the going traveling going on a plane not that I'm afraid of flying but for me the whole process in my brain my brain couldn't like was really afraid of what's going to happen and I remember just my parents giving me a hug and whatever it was like it after 30 minutes it it it kind of passed but if somebody is having how how can one prevent an anxiety attack and if they're having it how does one get through yeah so usually the best way to prevent is to be in a healthier space that like as a preventive thing but like the the what's happening we want to realize what's going on when we're getting those like thought attack right so like the thoughts just keep on coming and we want to realize that it's one thought really equaling the next and the next next and next and it's like spiraling yeah and really the thing that we want to do is get off the escalator right so like it it's it's it's hard when everything's escalating because it feels so real but like sometimes this is similar to like getting off news when we're worried and we keep on checking the next news right right right it's like when you stay in the anxiety mode it feels a little bit more controlling like you have control CU you're thinking about it but really every time we're going down the road we're kind of making it worse and we want to try as much as possible to just do something else right and and that sometimes is our best bet because once I'm able to recognize what it is easier to let it go because I don't have to answer to it I could just recognize oh yeah that's what's happening and and a panic attack isn't that different because a panic attack is really when it becomes more physical right if you go really hard again and again you'll start feeling what a panic attack feels like to some degree as well really right the body is is just hyperventilating and like anxiety tax is mind yeah I remember when my brother went missing I felt the Panic of day I felt like oh my God like Panic feels literally like the world is ending on top of me or the happening is it's just a spiral going faster and faster I remember one week my father came home late from sh like it was already an hour late and I remember also that same thing I was literally panicking like what's happening what should we do next I feel like there's like no way to go he ended up being by a kiddish and by a neighbor but but like I've noticed those feelings and it's and it's and it's difficult by the way cuz some panic attacks some times when somebody's panicking it's for real like something really happened so this is where it gets um I think it helps us also just be a little bit more understanding of people who are struggling with anxiety because that feeling is the same feeling they're getting every day on some level right because like what that's why it's so hard because you're living in this it's nice to say oh it's oh yeah by the way it's it's a thought and it's it's my body protecting me but it feels really real wow and it's hard it's hard but there answers and and I think what I'm going to use one example to end off over here because I use this example a lot to explain a concept to clients say imagine you have um a spouse and for whatever reason that spouse experiences any expression of love as I hate you their past what they've gone through whatever it might be so they go into into to marriage and you have a wonderful woman and you have a wonderful girl wonderful guy and he's trying to do his best and do what he can to make her feel like he CES about her any and every time she just gets you know so so obviously the marriage suffers so then they like okay we'll go for therapy they go to therapist go to therapist and they teach them like skills like you know how to calm yourself down how to appreciate stuff about your spouse and that could help a little bit but imagine she would just let's say it was her she would just there would be a switch and she would no longer experience that as I hate you they wouldn't need anything to fix wow it's very similar we've experienced things a certain way and that's why we feel stuck but it doesn't have to be that way and if that could shift you don't have to feel stuck so it feels like unbelievable that I can get into a world that I won't have anxiety anymore really it just needs that shift because once that shift happens right you don't have to be in that space so there's hope out there and you really can't live a life of without it absolutely and sending love to everybody that uh clicked on this podcast because they are suffering or struggling I'm just sending you love and I want to tell you you're not alone and uh you're not alone and there are answers like it really can get better right it really can and is is here to help so is if somebody wants to reach out to you I know you do coach business adults you work with children you want to say a little bit what you do like this if somebody wants to reach out yeah I just really got on here just to help out the crowd but people can reach out to me directly at swi wall.com I've been focusing the past couple years on working with businesses but I still do all the mental health stuff still that's like what I do it's almost like you know whatever I went over to the dark side a little bit yeah you know I work in businesses but but I I I still work with clients all the time and really I'm C I just want to be able to talk about you amazing thank you so much is for coming on we really appreciate it guys thank than for the opportunity I mean that it by the way the guy's King you come on you feel a peace you can just talk forever thank you well you just validated the deepest uh you know I felt I had this ego thing I was like I told you when we walked in I was like off camera I said like you know I don't have anxiety but I'm here to help the Tiber but I I actually did have anxiety but you know what now I have anxiety I don't struggle with anxiety this is my newest own thing yeah right like I don't I have anxiety I don't struggle with it there's nothing wrong with having anxiety we could Define anxiety when it starts overtaking my life and all that and I'm not comparing someone who has anxious thought to anxiety it's not the same thing but but it doesn't mean that it's doesn't work from similar mechanisms one of them will be overwhelming and one of them will just be like annoying and and it's not not the same thing in any which way or form and we shouldn't compare the two but it doesn't mean that there aren't somewhat similar mechanisms and when we're able to work off of similar kind of Concepts it really can work for both of us right it's been amazing it is amazing I appreciate so much and guys I want to remind you to please like this episode leave us a rating wherever you're listening to it um share it with a friend I know some of you listen to it and it's not even on a platform it's just a recording in Yeshiva so I want to thank you as well um if you want to get connected with me the link is in the description to my WhatsApp um if you can leave a comment it helps us out and please like share and subscribe thank you so much and uh good luck [Music]