Turn Friday into Erev Shabbos #79 - Lighting Without Stress

[Music] time to turn friday into erev chavez thank you so much for joining us a big thank you to our generous sponsors our dear friends series sponsor menden support official responsibility member of our journalism saks thank you so much for your generosity the siren is coming it means it's almost time for shabbos also this afternoon's particular sponsor rebecca khan for a full shleima before you send the fourth chavers in the world to his last office in the hospital complete refusal with ben etta the shamans should have a pure rafa speedy complete happy healthy only the best of everything we are turning friday into arab shabbos although it is a short friday and i'm out of time so we may have a short turn friday into arab shabbos and we are learning maya morgenstern but before we do i want to invoke and i want to remind everyone of something really special really incredible uh there's a holy blessed member of our community who are currently is very sadly in the midst of sitting shiva hermitia volvoski for the loss of his very very special mother and he shared with me that his mother once wrote to the rebel about the stresses of her many responsibilities she was an extraordinary woman and there we wrote back four words hadlocas neros those were his four words she wrote about the stresses of her many responsibilities and he wrote back light the candles with no pressure that i want a woman make sure to light the shabbos candles in an environment with no stress that will have an emotional impact on their well-being for the entire week long not just the way you go into shabbos not just for that shabbos neros if a person have mindfulness and the presence and the consciousness to light the shabbos candles with no sense of pressure not on the clock not in a rush now with a list of things that haven't yet happened then the sense of calm and peace that they could bring to the lighting of candles which is the source of light today is black friday but we don't believe in black friday for us every friday is white light friday we bring the light to black friday when we light the shabbos candles calmly and peacefully why is it called black friday either because people used to scam their bosses call in sick take off to have a four day weekend there's a whole history to why it's called black friday today it's called black friday because of the sales you go to the mall online people are swarming and swamping people are rushing to take advantage to pursue material possessions they want to accumulate and amass more and more in the physical world and that taka's black friday to think your happiness will be in having more and more and more and more sales and buying more things and that will be happiness that's taco black friday that's sad it's it's depressed it's dark it's black but if a person lights the candles for person the candles of a torah or if a person is embracing the spirituality and the holiness the person realizes that real happiness not comes doesn't come from the material in the physical real happiness comes from the spiritual and the holy if a person as the rebels said to ramosa levski's mother allah shalom that hadlaka's narrows light the candles with no pressure if you light the candles peacefully it will overflow it will inform it will inspire the entire week so we transform any black friday to a light friday we dispel the darkness with a little bit of light and the notion that shabbos comes in with all the physical preparations that we make for shabbos with all the shopping and all the cooking and all the preparing with the beauty of the china and the crystal and the silverware the beauty of the serving pieces today we have fancy serving pieces even to hold the dips the dips would be sitting on our table we have fancy designer vessels shaped just to hold the dips so a person should have a beautifully a beautiful or nate shabbos table there's nothing wrong with that it honors the shabbos however we begin the shabbos even after all the expense of wine or scotch after the big meet after all the shopping and all the preparation of the beautifully set table it begins with something that you can't capture you can't touch you can't hold it begins with the lighting of the candle because the goal of shabbos is to taste the world to come the goal of shabbos is not to get lost in the physical and material the goal of shabbos is to get lost in the light to bring more light into the world and to have a certain peace of mind and a peacefulness a tranquility and a serenity when lighting those candles that's the shalom bias the whole reason we light candles is shalom bias so it's not to trip on a toy so as not to fall down to see what we're doing and where we're going we light those candles because the shabbos candles bring us shall unbiased they are not just a school in some mystical hibijibi sense they're a school in the sense that the light illuminating the darkness enables us to see and that will bring more peace into our home so we realize that peace and happiness light comes not from the darkness of shopping and of wanting more things although there's nothing wrong with having things and taking advantage of good sales but it can't define us it shouldn't make us lose our midos and our minds in our pursuit of getting those things it's black friday but friday's all about light friday is about the light of turning friday into arashabas friday's about the light about lighting the candles and how we light the candles friday's about the light of bringing in a shabbos which illuminates and brings a gator light and enables us to have a greater clarity that's what friday is when we turn friday into heir of shabbos there's no such thing as a black friday only a light friday a white friday the image is not black friday but rather it's of light the pasta and cohelis that talks about wearing white and we have a white tablecloth and we wear a white shirt and we invoke the imagery of the light of the white the white the purity the innocence the newness the freshness the joy the heavenly vision of white of light it's not a black friday it's a light a white friday it's a friday in which we illuminate the world so please and in her memory rabbits and volvoski make sure light those candles with no pressure don't be rushing and don't be running and don't feel all the things that haven't happened and don't have tension and don't have anger a few deep breaths nishamah for the nishima for the neshama the shema the same word breath and soul restore your soul with deep breaths always take a few deep breaths before lighting those candles center yourself come back to who we are bring out the best of our nishama we're a goof we're a body and we just shop for the body we just wash the body cut the nails in the body get the hair to the body dress the body the body prepared and shop for a beautiful shabbos table and chop his food but right before as we go into shabbos in those moments of transition into shabbos it's not about the body take a few deep nishimos in order to restore the neshama the soul and now you're ready to bring more light into the world with the lighting of candles have a wonderful shabbos everybody stay happy stay healthy and stay holy [Applause] [Music] have a great job with everybody until next time arab shabbos hanukkah have a great job