Turn Friday into Erev Shabbos #43 - Give a Blessing and Be a Blessing

[Music] us [Music] everybody thank you so much for joining us as we turn friday to arab shabbos each and every week [Music] special thank you to our generous sponsors mandan super fishman fredo and memory of rubble or jonathan sacks already ben david arya thank you for your generosity and sponsorship the covet shabbos shabbos is coming we are running out of time it is a pleasure to be able to join you and once again turn our friday into air of shops i want to share with you first and foremost a beautiful insight i heard today from my dear friend by josh brody who told me something i did not know clarified something which connects to what we have been learning the laws of or the notion of a neshami sera the idea that when shabbos comes we have an additional soul an additional layer of a soul a more an awake soul that we have a soul which is alive and on fire so rabbi brodie shared with me i don't know where this is from that on often there's a custom many have that when a person has a yurt site in the coming week when a person has a earth sight the following week they dive in for the ahmad motze shabbos if there's somebody who's actually in awayless if there's somebody who is uh who's in there you'd be khodesh or as a europe site moteshabas they don't get the ahmad but if there's no one else all else equal somebody who has a yurt site somebody who is memorializing the death of a loved one in the coming week will lead the services diamonds for the ahmad on the mozai shabbas before i never understood why where does that come from why do they have a precedence why are they doubting for the ahmad so listen to what everybody told me he said because when a person has a your sight in the coming week it means that the previous shabbos was the last shabbos not only of the neshama but the neshama yasera of the person that last shabbos that a person was here in this world was the last shabbos that that person had their extra endowed their extra layer of a soul and therefore and therefore on mozai shabbos we are mourning grieving it's a europe site for the neshama essera so the reason a person who has a your site in the coming week david salam and mote shabbas is because what the eurek site represents in the following for the shama is what mozai shabbas represents for the neshama is sarah which is which is gone that was their last time for anisham essera so we should be privileged we should embrace we should recognize the gift of the nishamiyah sarah so i want to give you another insight into the show me sir i wrote about it this week so if you read my article you'll forgive me a little bit of a hazara but we know in our parsha we have the story of the brachas that are given to ephraim and menasha ephraim and menasha and many focus their many interpretations about why specifically ephraim and menasha why don't we give a barakah to be like be like adam rishon be like moshe and aron be like david be like so many other of the major personalities of tanach why instead are we blessing our sons our children to be like ephraim and menasha two relatively relatively minor figures of tanakh so there's an answer that these were the two first two who were able to get along we know that until then there was anima there was enemy between brothers we know that there was a yitzhak and a yeshmal there was a yaakov there was an asaf yosef and his brothers and this is the first generation this is the first time that brothers are getting along efraim and natasha not only do they get along but in fact the younger brother ephraim who's given greater honor by his grandfather by zayd the yaakov and menash is happy for him there's no competitiveness there's no ego involved he's happy for him the ability for an older brother to be happy for a younger sibling that's our bracha for our children who doesn't want that those who don't have children but long for children should be blessed and merit to have children but whether it's the literal children that we have or the lesson that we take from it but the notion of a getting along is when we display unity when we come together as one that's when that's when we are worthy and that's when we are blessed and that fits in what we learned a couple of weeks ago that vayakel why was i i think was last week shabbos is given in the passions of shabbas the mitzvah shabbos was given in the context of the jewish people coming together as a community to be unified a sense of unity because if you want baraka if you want shabbos if you want serenity if you want peace in your life you can't do it if you're fragmented and divided it can't be if you're this is the shoe i go to and the shoe i won't go to and these are the people i speak to and the people i don't speak to and these are the people who are really religious and the people i've dismissed their religiousness it has to be a sense of unity when we are one ephraim and menasha when they were one they were blessed and when we are one we are blessed and that is our hope and our wish that is our aspiration for our children that is our aspiration for ourselves number one moreover ephraim and menasha are raised in a foreign world in a foreign land they're the first to be born and raised in egypt they don't have the influence of their zeida of their grandfather yaakov they don't have the yeshiva of yaakov of shambha viva they are in this decadent morally depres deprived this corrupt culture of egypt and yet despite that even there they grow up as an ephraim and menacing afraid they don't waver they're unequivocal they are strict and vigilant when it comes to their commitment to judaism to the values of the vision of their zeida of their grandfather and that's our open for our children we live in a world of a lot of messages and a lot of influences and a lot of noise a lot of images and a lot of icons and a lot of influence and like iframe and menasha transcended it and they were able to rise above it that is our hope that is our wish that is our dream for our children but frankly for ourselves so many know those reasons the posture class we mentioned another reason but i want to focus not on the reasons it's afraid in menasha but why friday night give a bracha to your kids sunday morning for those who have sunday school before you head off to school to yeshiva monday morning for when they put the uniform on back again why are we giving a maybe give a bracha you know uh sunday night you survived the weekend why are we giving abraha specifically on on friday night so here are two different reasons are given who was a chief rabbi in safari chief rabbi and yafa i believe in israel and this was says he can't find the source he's not sure of a specific source why friday night but he offers his own suggestion the maganavram in the beginning of simmon resha in dallas writes he says there was a custom for children to kiss their mother's hand on friday night to give their mother's hand a kiss i know some of these things all the children stand for their mother while they sing asia's kyle there's a notion that children at the end of a long week of a mother doing carpool and making dinner and i don't mean to generalize here and gender roles there are plenty of men who drive carpool and men who make dinner and women who go to work but children being grateful to parents at the end of the week looking back and saying thank you thank you for paying my tuition thank you for bringing me this house and clothing and food thank you for being there and taking care of me and there was a custom to kiss the hand of a parent on a friday night so he suggests maybe the father sees these children are kissing the hand of their mother what a bracha i want to bless i want to bench these kind of i want to bench these children i want to give them a blessing they should always be appreciative they should always be grateful they should always have only the greatest blessing in their life they should continue to have parents who love them maybe that's the reason he says why the miniguide the custom to give a blessing is on friday night in reaction to the honor to the love to the affection that children give to children give to parents there are other reasons that are suggested and this is the part that i want to share with you that is relevant to all of us as we turn friday into air of shabbos and turn around shabbos into shabbos itself shabbas is an oasis from the chaos of the week from those images and ideas and temptations we say we bless efraim and nashville because they were raised in this foreign culture and we're all raising ourselves and even if you live geographically in israel with the gift of the internet and with the flow of information and influence wherever we are we are exposed and vulnerable to what's out there but shabbos we cut ourselves off shabbas we disconnect shabbos we retreat into ourselves and into who we are and who we are meant to be and that is when we give abraha that is when we give a blessing to our children is another answer he says when it means israel it doesn't mean that we should give a bracha to be like ephraim and menasha it means that just like yaakov gave a bracha to ephraim and menasha just like yaakov counted his blessings he looked around and said uh my children my grandchildren this is my wealth this is my riches these are my blessings so too we should and when do we do that we do it says the safer nishmashabas on friday night why friday night because every other night of the week at dinner our children are competing competing for our time continuing for our attention but shabab is friday night we come to the table and there is no technology and there's no smartphone there is no work to do there are no tasks there's no responsibilities no obligations unless you're the rabbi but that's for another time our children aren't competing for our attention with work or other obligations and the biggest barakah that we can give our children is friday night the biggest broker we can give them is to be present and to be mindful is to experience is to count our blessings and to be able to model that rama shall absolver the helicopter says what is the bracha that's given the bracha was given on that day is the simple translation but the sustainer says don't read it that way read it and what is the biggest bracha by yom to be present on that day so as we turn friday in terror of shabbos air of shabbos and the shabbos we are entering by yomahu the great day the taste of the world to come the day in which for 25 hours we have a place of refuge we have a place of reprieve we disconnect to connect to what matters what matters are the people in our lives what matters is that love what matters is community but what matters is to be able to experience it we have to be by yom archem we are really blessed when when we are a sense of when we are present in that day when our mind is not elsewhere and when our activities are not divided or or or broken the biggest we give them the biggest bracket we give ourselves when how by yomahu to be present shabbos we go off the grid and we disconnect with no guilt and no second guessing and no fomo and no self-importance but only the rich possibility of truly being present with those with whom we are engaging and what abraha that is and what a bracha for those around us hashem we should be to truly turn friday into heir of shabbos to experience a helicopter holy and a healthy and a happy shabbos to count our blessings and to be a blessing for those blessings in our lives all by omaha to spend the next 25 hours being present in all that we do have a holy and a wonderful shabbos see you again next week shabbiska it's all the covet shabbos [Music] wishing everyone a wonderful shabbos and a holy shabbos