Turn Friday into Erev Shabbos #213 - No Anger on Erev Shabbos

[Music] is getting shabas. Everyone today is not Friday. Today is Arab Shabas. We are turning our Friday into Arab Shabas. I want to thank our generous series sponsors in memory of Revel Saxen David Ary. You know, there's so many preparations that go into Shabas. To turn our Friday into Arab Shabas, we spend a lot of money and a lot of time and a lot of energy in preparing and setting a table, in buying and putting out flowers, in having china and silverware and crystal, in chilling a beautiful expensive wine, in buying meat and chicken and fish, in all the work, all the effort, all the shopping, all the cleaning, all the preparing, all the setting, everything that has to go into Shabas. Everything that has to go into Shabas. But while there are so physical so many physical ways we prepare for Shabas there's an incredibly important spiritual and emotional way that we prepare for Shabas and it appears in our para but whether you're listening to this parcel or another para it doesn't matter Torah tells us Shabas you're not allowed toite you can't light a fire in any of the dwelling places on Shabas it's a par that the prohibition to ignite to light to create a fire is something singled out. There are 39 categories of creative labor. The Torah doesn't explicitly reference the other 38. This one it explicitly mentions and speaks about and the question is why for another time, but this one is explicit. Do not light, do not ignite, do not start a fire in your dwelling place on Shabas. This was an ancient debate between the Kites, those who only took the Torah literally, and the rabbitic community who interpret the Torah. Does it mean you can't benefit from a lit fire from before Shabas? The kites would sit in the dark and eat cold food and be cold because they wouldn't even benefit from a lit fire from before Shabas. And we of course know you can't light a new fire, but you can benefit. So we sit in the light from before Shabas and we eat food that was heated from before Shabas, the origin of chant for another time. And we're warmed by a fire if it was lit before Shabas. But the holy kadosh the great it's the holy kadosh has a different homalytical interpretation of this p the word ah fire can mean not only the physical external fire a fire is an illusion to anger when a person is filled with rage there's a fire burning inside them says the schlaw what the Torah is telling us is when it comes to shabas when it comes to shabas there cannot be anger there cannot be rage there cannot be raising the decimal level of your voice. There cannot be frustration. The way we prepare for Shabas and the way we enter Shabas has to be peace and tranquility and serenity and joy. The Zora says Moshv guard your house from fire refers to your heart. The biggest Moshv the biggest residence you have is your heart. And guarding it from fire means guard it from being filled with anger or bitterness or negativity. There cannot be a fire which is burning and that what many people miss the time that often there's a lot of anger, frustration, little patience is er Shabas running out of time. Did you clean? Did you prepare? Did you shower? Did you set the table? Why are you home so late? There can be so many anger, so much conflict on Shabas. And a Yaj Jew has to go out of their way to not only prepare physically flowers and set a table and set aside clothing and go to the dry cleaner, but a person has to prepare spiritually and emotionally to get into such a space to get into such a mindset that I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going to raise my voice. I'm going to speak calmly and serenely and peacefully. And that is how my family, my home, there won't be a fire burning. I won't destroy and sabotage and burn down my house with anger. There'll be peace and serenity and quieter called and he writes there how much more a person needs to be careful all seven days of the week all the days of the year you should never get angry anger is a categorically bad quality that we just concluded all of the Ramban's letter to his son and it begins you can go and listen to it all with the Ramban cautioning against anger and a strategy Not to manage anger, not anger management, but to eliminate anger. It's never good, but particularly says particularly on the says in when it comes to Shabas, it comes to by extension, you have to give it honor. The greatest honor you could give Shabas is to never get angry. To never raise your voice, to not have to not have a fight. To not have a fight. What's the greeting that we give each other on Shabas? Shabbat. Shalom. It's a reminder. Good shabas. Shabbat. Shalom. Shabas is a time of shalom. There's no conflict, no tension, no argument, no anger, no negativity, no fire burning. Shabbat shalom. Shabas is synonymous with peace. Good shabas. Good shabas. Shabbat shalom. It should be peaceful. Should be peaceful. That's Shabas. So if you have a set table and everyone's wearing their finest clothing and everyone showered and shaved, took a haircut, cut their nails, everyone looks great, but you're yelling, you're screaming, you're angry, you're frustrated, there's fire, there's no covet chabas. The biggest is not how you set the table, what's on the table. It's how we treat one another. It's the environment and the atmosphere that's in our home. And he writes my own home that is conflict and tension and fighting on Shabas or Friday night, something bad, something negative, a terrible outcome. something bad, something negative, something harmful, something is going to come out of it. Something is going to come out of it. So, with all the worry and all the preparation and all that we have to do to get ready and everything that goes into it, we cannot get angry. So, you'll say, "But what am I supposed to do? They didn't clean up. They didn't set the table. They didn't put out the candles. They didn't come home on time. What can I do? I can't control it. It just happens on its own." But clearly the schlah the z others don't see it that way because you see a fire on chabas is don't intentionally and mindfully don't constructively anger is a creation what's prohibited on chabas creative labor creation you're not allowed to create is creation so anger is a creation of our own doing if we allow ourselves to get angry if our ego gets in the way if we edge God out and it didn't go according to our plan. So we take it out on others. Ego, we have created anger. Loavaru, don't create. Don't create anger. Be in control. Resist that urge. It can be overcome. And it'll bring incredible braha. It'll bring Shabas is brah. Shabas is the source of all blessing in our lives. And how do we bring that braha? How do we bring that braha? By the attitude. And so we turn our Friday into er of shabas. As we're getting ready and as we are preparing, one of the ways to prepare is not just shower, shave, cut nails, haircut, pick out clean clothing, set a table, wine, delicacies, delicious china, silverware, crystal, but it's also what atmosphere do we bring. No matter what, no matter who we're frustrated in, how will we communicate? How will we react? We can control. Loaru is do not light a fire. Do not a fire to get lit. Don't create a fire. Calm, tranquil, serene. And then indeed we'll be able to enjoy and appreciate the shabas which is the makor. [Music] Brahm the [Applause]