True Love is Loveless - Story w Rebbe - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

we're beginning Today Chapter 19 you test on page of dollar and uh it's a simple why is a SIM card because when we finish a painting Tanya we're going to another Pedic it it it gives us more kayak and a power to to do an avoid this Hashem especially it's coming up to the Memphis yard site next Thursday so this is a good preparation and what are we learning about here we're learning about how the pain in the is able to fulfill the dictum in the title for this thing is near you in your mouth in your heart and to act upon and the to your mouth you could speak words of Tidy and learn Titan what we're doing now to act you put on film you put him a scissor in your heart this is an enigma because what you know the heart you either feel it and like it or you don't you can't legislate in a person you must like this it doesn't work unfortunately you have too much of that we had too much of that you must marry a Jew and you must do this okay so those are more pale Mama's things you know action oriented but at the end of the day you marry someone because you you feel for them right so associate with a Feeling so by telling me I must marry a Jew uh it's like you're talking to a wall and special when it comes to terameters you must put film on you must put this all the must and all the shoulds go out the window when it comes to feelings so if the title wouldn't say it that Torah emits us between say wouldn't be there no problem it makes sense just say the words with your mouth and just do the problem that the alteneba has and why he wrote his Tanya to address this issue is because it says and after the alternate explained that great length what a tadiq is what a rush is and what a benign is the question is even more more difficult abandon is not exotic he's not a Russian but he's not a subject but a beginning has a full set of urges to do things that are ungodly and unhealthy so how can you legislate to abandon me you must love God I I love I love myself I love pleasures that's what I really like whatever else I do I do because I need to do I need to make money so I'm a doctor I need to make money so I'm a writer but do you really love writing I told you what Dennis Prager once said it at a talk in Los Angeles at the spartic Temple of Boulevard there were about a thousand young people there you know college students and and young professionals and they said how many people here can raise your hand and say you love your job there are some people but you know and then he said how many of you can say that you love your job but you get paid for it as well there were less hands that went up a job we need to my father taught me a father used European Jewish Survivor you know this attitude this American attitude and you know you know like uh I don't like this job I ain't gonna work I just want the job that I got a degree in and Meanwhile my family and kids are going to suffer and I have what to eat because I'm A pompous arrogant so be go out of work go clean the windows that's what my father taught me growing up Who Who Are You yeah you're married you have children you have bills you have tuition go out and work yes work to the point and that's what he did it wasn't lip service my father worked jobs that we wouldn't even dream of with rats and mice running around his head because he worked at night double shift in the Brooklyn Navy Yard managing the machines that produced um the material you know for sweaters and and shawls and things like that and they weren't very hygienic up there I I visited there when I was a boy you wouldn't want to be there and so during the day when you had workers there many employees so the rats and the mice took a break but at night they all came out and my father is by himself in this massive Place making sure that everything's ready and working at night so they have the production going and that's what was called double time and he made double the amount of money and so he worked so hard he put away the money and he said Hashem and then he was able to buy with partners with a partner of business and then uh then he sold Daddy and and bar Hashem but he works very very hard when I in the 60s when I was a little boy and and also in the 70s late 60s early 70s he um partnered with someone to drive to they bought a medallion a taxi now you have to understand for an orthodox Jew and especially a Hasidic Jew to to to drive a taxi was like the biggest the biggest embarrassment why you know what a balagola is we read the stories of the balchemto and the balagola right well that that feeling of being a balagula and the stigmatism associated with being a balangala that we had the last 200 years still exists today imagine your daughter is gonna there's a sugar I should have offered to your daughter a truck driver trust me uh most people will say uh-huh but he's a great guy yeah but he's a truck driver and my father and a few others didn't care because mayor Lindsay after the the Riots of the 60s wanted to bring more business in into New York so he he gave a great deal on a medallion you have to buy him a medallion to be able to drive a taxi right like the you know the commission you know I'm sure Chicago was that way and Los Angeles wherever you were you just can't you know it wasn't like today that you have Uber and all that right so so um he he got he he got that he he he he he did it and they got two for one so he took a partner he worked 12 hours and his partner worked twelve dollars and department just came for Romania that never sent to his name my father said I'm going to loan you money you'll pay me back and then you work 12 hours that's what he did and they did very well and in those years in the 70s it was dangerous my father's friend from Schulman catlowitz in 1979 or shot dead at uh Smith 9th Street in Brooklyn I remember him from shoe what a wonderful person he had a taxi and he was shot killed so this was really so I remember it was Friday and my father wasn't home because he he was working he worked in Manhattan the money was better in Manhattan you know everyone's using the taxis Manhattan but it's Friday four o'clock for 4 15 is Lexington and my heart was pounding fear that my father's not home for Shabbos where is he he came in a minute or two before the 18 minutes not before the before the eighth the last of the 18 minutes you know and he made Shabbos because he of course wouldn't break Shabbos if it need be he would stop wherever he is but but you understand what what hard work we don't know what this means today you know you guys not just all are a little more you know into this you know you work much harder but coming from America you think you know what I'm saying so why am I saying all this why am I telling you this diet trap because six ways to understand how you are to serve Hashem it's so near you it's not near me action I could do but feeling so Dr Debbie answers the question you're right if you have to generate a love a feeling a heart palpitation it's not part of myoid it's definitely not me I eat very near you it might be curve at times but not me so what's the answer so chapter introduced the concept of Terrace there's an innate love that every Jew has and I thought the way you only ended the said it at the end you know it's the recharge chapter of Tanya I thought that was that was very good you have to just reveal Who You Are wake up and just come think a little bit who am I and when you are when you when you think about who you are where you came from and what you want to accomplish the dust and the cover-up and the facade will will slowly dissipate and your natural feeling will come about and that's why were able to say it's very near you because it's natural to you that's the information if I have to generate a love it's not very near me but all if I all if all I have to do is reveal the love that I have it's me if it's me it's very near me nevertheless the question that he he raised is four things if you remember um what he said was hey what's the source of this love the shower number two what's the purpose and objective of this love number three without rabbit said earlier it's an inheritance that we get from our ancestors how is that and number four how is fear all for God you know included within the Ava because one needs both Ava and yina to serve Hashem Yoni if you only have Ava and you don't have either it's not good it won't work if you only have year and you don't have Ava it's also not good and that's what we talked to see there are people that Excel only in this calf in Gira or in the calf of Ava and and it don't work it at the end of the day it's a there's a breakdown you must have both right yeah velvet what would I call here the discipline the doctor says you need to do this you left your doctor you could love your doctor but if it tells you you need to do this and Issa and I we're talking about this um before share a few days ago how he struggles with you know many of the some of the patients that he had they don't want to listen to him they want to do their own thing hey you know you're coming to me as an expert you know you learned in Yeshiva I learned the university in medical school I spent eight years listen you know that's you know that's discipline there's no there's no hair you know hey you're my best buddy and I love you let's go play golf and go to the ball game we do all that but you know you got to listen to the rules right you come into a shoe right you come into a shoe there's a Gaba there's a rabbi there's a system this isn't just a free-for-all anyone will get up and decide I want to do this today I want to and and you know and when you have such situations it's a balagan so Yetta is a necessary component for a healthy for a health for for a healthy approach to Hashem so downtown's fourth question is how is within this Ava that we talk about that year is incorporated and seemingly contradict each other and that is going to answer at the end of chapter 19. but in the beginning of chapter 19 which we're going to begin now he addresses the um the second question more than he did yesterday and that is what's the objective of the other and the answer before I say it inside is the objective is Bittle subservience away from yourself away from ego so in a in a way Volvo you know what his answer is no objective objective strife objective is ego seek anything just just be and this is a big hiddish because normally you know someone who isn't even Hashem right we train ourselves to think to contemplate and to say I want to accomplish this I want to get speaker I want to get the medical degree I want to do this I want to do that right and although it's necessary because otherwise you have chaos and you have no system in order nevertheless at the end of the day if it's oriented on the eye it's a problem if it's oriented on the self-esteem which is God esteem as Robert whiskey says in his books at length meaning Hashem wants me to help people now what was I blessed with that I can help people the The Schuster the shoe repairman can help people by making them good shoes The Schuster cannot help people by being a doctor decides to be adopted again if a person is determined with their will they could do anything but we're not talking about they were talking about regular day-to-day stuff this is your field and guess what being a Shoemaker is a very important thing and in fact someone went to the river and he said I have no paranosa I need a broken up he said go to so-and-so I don't want to say the names I know who they are go to so-and-so and ask him what you should do for paragnosis so right away and he was rather close to the river he right away he was like why are you sending me to so and so I came to ask you for advice he went to so-and-so because the rabbit said that and so-and-so said you know you should go into the shoe business sell shoes he looks at him and he says I don't know anything about the show business he says I know you don't but you know everyone needs shoes and if you get into the shoe business you'll do very well he came back to the rib and he says I I I I can't I can't do this I just don't know this I can tell you the person had difficulties in panosa and other areas the rest of his life I can I know I know the players when assadic tells you to do something if you're going to ask you better listen you better prepared to listen and if you don't you're on your own and you might succeed because God and you that's what Hashem wants but at the same time you might not succeed whatever if you believe in that Sadiq and he sees one second is him he sees imagine he tells is sir I want you to go the the Boston Red is Rebel tell him I want you to go to to China and to sell in the market their products say that but what are you talking about well that's the question what type of husband are you you know in Chabad the the his castle since it's gimmel Thomas next week I'm taking a moment diverging you know it's like hey it's cashless connection means that the rapper knows better because he sees um needs yes it's a briefly because I'll only learn Tanya go ahead just want to tell a quick story once in my life I heard the the current world Park once in my life I've heard him yell he took a phone call from somebody who wanted a breakfast to go into a business and all that conversation was I I you must talk to him in the business more you go into it could not convince this person to go and seek proper advice in his status and he hung up on the Redwood and then he called back and had asked for makila and the river said again you must talk to somebody who knows the business it could be great but you could lose everything right yeah okay I I get it page of dollar paid like your tests so the alternative now is going to explain more about this and Muna and how the objective of this Ava is not to push the yes yeah the ego which would be Bina but rather so he continues his thought that he developed in 18 chapter 18 the idea of the is the seed of Italy and and having some of you weren't here yesterday and the day before I urge you to listen to the Future and you cast because it's really tied into your test let's go pedicure test bill and to add clarification to what we said before about a moon um we need to clarify better cause of what's written Hashem famous postage is broken cities on every page almost the candle of God nishma sudam is the soul of manush what is the altered episodes when he says Peter she's he's explaining something she is it doesn't mean every man non-jews included it means hidden Jews who are called Adam Adam their souls their souls are like the the light of a of a candle which moves top of page 48. tell me it constantly the mileage flickering always upward the flame foreign does the flame of the candle need to be told now flicker upward no as soon as you light it you see it going upward I've run why should I eat her age because the fire I'm sorry the light of the fire Huffines It Wants by Nature naturally to separate itself from the wick Ed and its desires to attach to its source lamina above which is called the assay the H in the ball of fire the the the esoteric idea of the the source of fire haklali the general Fireball who is under the orbit of the of the Moon which means the Sun hey why you Flame want to go back and you're always flickering upward you become extinguished and there will be no benefit to us below because you won't shine anymore you're absorbed in the source the goblin Milo be sure and number two the outdoever says if you're thinking that in your showish you're gonna do something hey guy you're making a big mistake the fireball is gonna swallow and eat you up yes the entity of the flame my ship will be nullified within the fireball so what are you thinking why are you looking to go up flickering upward says nevertheless because that's the nature of the flame that it wants by nature to go back to its source this is what yes assuming we talk to Flame learning to go up to its source I assume we're obviously we're talking about the nettle kiss yes just wait wait let's let's read the analogy we didn't read the analogy yet you're jumping give me a second this is the motion now comes the nimsho the moral so the soul of men yes Maisha this other refers to the nepheally kiss remember right there's levels of the Soul must all the levels it desires and Longs naturally reported to separate itself and leave its body even lead by the social media and cleave to its source special in the Living God infinite godf is although it will be not in its source because and nothing will be left of his previous status of his first status I will begin this is the nature of its will this is its will and its Desire by Nature foreign this idea that there's a natural desire to be with God even though your presence is absorbed and lost and you no longer as we say a big Maher right this We call we shame a Muslim if if we bottle the name anything that is not logical but it transcends logic is called by this name and over here too the intentism purpose this desire of the soul is incomprehensible to the human mind transcends logic and this is what we learned in chapter 18 down to never repeats it again this is what I mean because the faculty of coffin within your soul is the Abode for the infinite God so basically what's doubt that it was saying then the shama desires to be back with its source even though the Hashem will be not you would think that the nishama wants to be here to make a difference and to be as we say in Yiddish means in English like a big maker a big shot oh you're extinguished when the fla hear flame you make a difference you light up but when you you want to go upward you want to go back to your the fireball you're gonna be eaten up and swallowed by the fireball is so much greater so why do you want it I still want it you know why because I don't have an objective of self so now you understand wants to be with his Rebel with hasidim even though it might be a little smelly and a little dirty and a little cuckoo you don't care about they would say it's probably true another citizens too the the schwitzer eye the sweat that you experience standing by a rebel see them whether it be a dish or if I bring it is the ice ride music means right means to rub you rub out the eagle yeah because you're schmitzy and it's smelly and it's uncomfortable the fire by Nature says I want to be in the source why there's no way you understand that's that's without the devil saying here the question of why contradicts the experience and this is as much you said before this is the natural desire of the necessarily kiss that's why we say you're forced to live what does it mean now you understand so we that shot the pastor says God sent their soul down to the body and never many times especially is there as a doctor and velve will you know see people who are suffering and suffering and they want to die already I knew someone in Crown Heights who had the the Mahala and and they said we're davening for you he says to be better is to stop to have him for me to die please I'm in suffering I don't want to live anymore and and you know you know the doctors here can I'm sure relate to this better than I can but I can understand it it's Catholic pain when you have pain and suffering suffers you know why it doesn't want to be here has no interest being here it's smelly it stinks and there's no good Hashem says get down go into the body go make a difference so here the question is nevertheless the flame who's lighting up the room is flickering upward it's an oxymoron you're accomplishing and what we're telling you is and what you're saying is I don't want it so down to that says by Nature to this very important very deep after that was saying that by Nature the neshama doesn't want to be here it wants to be with Hashem I'll say actually used to call his daughter he had the two daughters right Neil and the Shema nisham Allah why do you want that the answer is there's no why I came from God I want to be with God and and you know of course the flip side is the God says I I I I I I hear you but I want you to be here you see but the point is that the the flame in this case than the shama doesn't have a mavukish and the bookish verbal means an objective what do I want and that's why Dr never says it's not being a ship in that fish it's been that fish because transcends reasoning so it's not I I I want to be I want to be for a certain purpose no this is I don't wanna I don't want any certain purpose I came from Hashem I have a natural desire to be with Hashem and this is let's go let's tie it together together this advert that we're talking about in chapter 18 which is called the avamos of terrorists the in hate innate excuse me innate love that every Eid has that you don't have to create you just have to reveal right and uncover it's such a powerful love that this love is not about what can I accomplish it is that's what it is so so the the question was Maisha what's the objective of the love the answer is there's no objective there's no objective because the word objective means there's a mavokish there's a certain you know uh um plan a certain program that itself is already ego connected and the whole idea of this love is not eagle and that's why it's crazy something that is outside of you and you have to create it is you have to work on it you have to study it you have to develop it and we have to feel it so then then it's it's outside of you imposing itself on you and take it from there here it's not outside of you it's not it's you that's the that's the word so therefore since it's you just reveal it be yourself what do you think great point though we'll see everyone tomorrow Mr sham have a great day bye oh